Guardian
by Black Dragon6
Summary: Ranma leaves Nerima and joins a special police force. Special in that it's made up of psychos, fools, and nymphomaniacs all charged with protecting Tokyo from the supernatural and terrorist forces that plague its streets.
1. The Beginning of the End...

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Standard disclaimer applies. I'm getting worried, it's becoming harder and harder to make a mockery of these stupid things. Why the heck would anybody sue me? I don't get paid for this stuff.  
  
  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The Beginning of the End......  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*K-klunk* *K-klunk* *K-klunk* *K-klunk*  
  
The rythmic sound of metal wheels over hardened steel echoed through the nearly empty subway station.  
  
To most, it was just another sound that melded into the monotony of the routine. To one person though, it marked the beginning of a whole new life, and the rather drawn-out end of another.  
  
  
  
Ranma Saotome, age 22, sighed forlornly as the train passed by, carrying its passengers to their destinations. He glanced at the red sign above and saw that his train was coming next, and briefly thought about leaving.  
  
He couldn't though. This was what he wanted.  
  
Or what he thought he wanted. He really didn't know anymore. Then again, it could've just been nostalgia from finally leaving his old life behind. No matter how painful or how much trouble it had been, it was all he had.  
  
His curse, his fiancees, his rivals, his legacy... he had thrown it all away for this, and it was too late to go back.  
  
  
  
Briefly dropping his bag to the cement floor, Ranma fingered the police I.D. in his pocket, and his mind wandered back to how it had come to this.  
  
  
  
(Sorry, no flashback scenes. Waaaaaaaay too cliche.)  
  
  
  
He remembered how he had set out for China to find a cure to his curse once and for all. For once he hadn't allowed anybody to come, leaving in the middle of the night and leaving only a note.  
  
That had been one of the smartest things he had ever done. Or at least it seemed that way at the time.  
  
It had taken a little over a year, but he had finally found the last traces of the Nannichuan, with an old man who liked to use the different waters for hunting, often making an insect into a pig for a good meal (he had though it was wierd, but he didn't really have any room to complain). He had returned in glory and high spirits, thinking he had overcome the greatest hurdle of his life.  
  
Then he saw her. Akane, his fiancee (ex-fiancee, he reminded himself), hand in hand with some guy she had met in college. Saying that she and Kenji were going steady. Saying that she really didn't care where her "perverted, unfaithful, barbarian fiance" was.  
  
His parents were little help, demanding that he become engaged with one of the other Tendo daughters. Soun of course agreed whole-heartedly. It made him sick, when he thought about it.  
  
  
  
And so, feeling lonely, betrayed, and depressed enough to make Ryoga shudder, Ranma left once again, not caring where he was going or where he ended up.  
  
It was just dumb luck that he had stumbled upon some guy with a gun mugging a teenage girl.  
  
Seeing how he had to take out his stress on someone, he had laid into the guy without mercy, not giving the man a chance to squeeze the trigger of his weapon.  
  
Something inside had snapped that night, something that brought all of his training and fighting into perspective, something that brought purpose to his life when he was just about ready to lay down and die.  
  
He had signed up for the police academy the very next morning.  
  
It was a martial artist's duty to protect people, and that's what he was going to do. He had sacrificed his life, his family, and just about everything else for martial arts, not by choice, and he'd be damned if all that was going to go to waste.  
  
Whatever they could say about Ranma Saotome, none could call him a quitter.  
  
  
  
Ranma's head jerked up as a bell announced the arrival of the next train. For some reason, he expected things to be easy after he had made that decision about his life. Fat chance.  
  
The police academy was a tough place, and Ranma attracted trouble like sugar attracted ants.  
  
His infrequent-at-best education made many of his courses a major effort to get through, and everyone he met seemed to decide that he should have it harder than everybody else.  
  
Ranma thought that the combat part should at least be a breeze, but that part of his training proved more troublesome than the rest. Being stronger, faster, and more experienced than any of his instructors, not to mention being able to throw energy blasts with his hands started more than Ranma's fair share of grudges among combat trainers. Even with his practically god-like physical abilities, Ranma passed the combat and defense classes with just better than mediocre scores.  
  
Overall, he hadn't made the best of impressions by the time he had recieved his assignment, through a program for newly graduated cadets. The man that handed him his papers said that he was being sent to a very special group that only took the elite officers, and the pay was better than normal, yet for some reason Ranma couldn't shake the feeling that the man had been exaggerating his description at best.  
  
  
  
Ranma picked up his bags and stepped onto the train as it screeched to a stop at the station. Getting on the train, he selected a seat near the door and sat down. He took out a sheet of paper and read it over, glancing at the acronym at the top of the page.  
  
'Hmm. DAPC, Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. Something tells me this is gonna get complicated.'  
  
Ranma was startled from his thoughts by a cheerful male voice ringing out from over his shoulder.  
  
"Wow, you're goin' there too?"  
  
Ranma looked over his shoulder to see a guy about his age with short brown hair and a cheery grin on his face staring at his transferral forms.  
  
Ranma blinked. "Are you an officer?"  
  
The man nodded. "Yup. Just got out of the acedemy. Can't believe they assigned me to this dumping ground. Name's Tiro Yamazaki."  
  
Ranma nodded. "Ranma Saotome. Whaddya mean, 'dumping ground'?"  
  
Tiro looked at him oddly. "You haven't heard? The DAPC is sort of a dumping grounds for troublemakers and rejects that still make it to graduation. Like me really. The only reason I have a badge is that the instructor didn't have the heart to reject anyone who did so well while slacking off so much."  
  
Ranma sweatdropped as Tiro laughed. "But I thought it was some kind of special department."  
  
Tiro sat down next to him and leaned back in the chair. "It is. What with all the wierd stuff that happens around Tokyo today, the government thought it was a good idea to create a special department to handle stuff like monsters and aliens and that sort of thing. Most of the important people thought it was a good idea. The police chiefs didn't. It sounded so stupid that when the department requested new officers, they only sent the ones they thought couldn't really succeed anywhere else. Hence you have a state-of-the-art, well-funded department with a bunch of second and third rate officers. Or so that's the story. So what're you in for?"  
  
Ranma sighed and leaned back in the seat. "I did better than everyone else in combat training, so they thought I was some kind of troublemaker."  
  
Tiro blinked. "Whoa. That's rough."  
  
Ranma glanced back at him. "How 'bout you?"  
  
Tiro laughed again. "I skipped a few classes, plus got caught with a girl in my dorm room. You wouldn't believe the timing those jerks can have just when things start goin' your way."  
  
Ranma decided not to comment. "Uh huh."  
  
  
  
The train rocketed through the subway, slowing down to stop at one of the many underground stations on its route.  
  
Ranma looked up at the sign on the exit. Not his stop.  
  
He turned to Tiro. "So, why'd you become an officer?"  
  
Tiro looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "I guess I'd have to say the babe factor. Chicks dig a guy in uniform."  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. He should have guessed. Tiro grinned and jabbed Ranma with an elbow.  
  
"Hey, ya know, I hear the Captain in the DAPC is a woman. Not bad looking either. Eh, eh?"  
  
Ranma poked him in the forehead. "Unlike some people, I didn't join the force to ogle women."  
  
Tiro blinked. "Why else would someone join?"  
  
Ranma facefaulted. He sighed as he picked himself up and answered. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe to protect people?"  
  
Tiro blinked, then smiled and slapped him on the back. "Oh, I get it! You're one of those guys that sacrifice their personal lives for their career and everything, huh?"  
  
Ranma flinched and leaned back again. "Uh, yeah. Something like that."  
  
Tiro smiled. "Hey, I hear ya. If it helps, you're the type of guy that the world needs, ya know? Someone who puts other people before himself!"  
  
Ranma looked at Tiro strangely. It felt sort of weird to actually be complimented like that. "Er, thanks."  
  
Tiro slapped him on the back again. "Hey, don't mention it. Looks like our stop is next."  
  
  
  
Tiro got up, hefted his bag onto his shoulder and headed for the exit as the subway train started to slow down. Ranma watched the man's back before he got his own bag and exited the train. Just like Hiroshi. They must be related or something.  
  
  
  
Tiro called Ranma over trying to wade through the sea of people moving through the station. Ranma didn't feel much like shoving his way to the exit, and moving his duffel bag under his arm, leapt clear over a good portion of the crowd, catching his arm on a support beam. Quickly scanning the area, Ranma located Tiro, and swung himself down, just barely missing a grumpy older man that had just stepped into his landing zone.  
  
Ranma dusted himself off as Tiro stared at him wide-eyed. The rusty old beggar turned on him angrily, shaking his fist.  
  
"Watch it, you little punk, or I'll rip you apart!"  
  
Ranma gave him a bored look. "Whatever." Before he had finished speaking he had kicked the man in the face, sending him back into the crowd.  
  
Ranma turned back to Tiro, who appeared to be trying to say something. "Somethin' wrong, Yamazaki?"  
  
Tiro's voice returned to him. "Uh... advanced martial arts training?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Yeah. How'd you guess?"  
  
Tiro realized he was staring, and shook his head to clear it. "Nevermind. Let's get out of here before we get trampled or something."  
  
  
  
Ranma looked down at his papers and then looked up at the large building looming over him. It wasn't a skyscraper, but it was big, and it looked almost new.  
  
"Hmm... not bad, if I do say so myself. This might not be as terrible as I thought."  
  
Ranma nodded, then started toward the building, when Tiro's hand shot out and held him back.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Tiro pulled Ranma back, then pointed towards the entrance, or more accurately, someone heading toward the entrance.  
  
"Check it out! Is she hot or what?!"  
  
Ranma sighed and restrained himself from backhanding Tiro. Looking where he was pointing, Ranma saw a young woman with long blond hair and wearing a form-fitting dress that ended in a tight miniskirt.  
  
Ranma twisted around, and Tiro found himself being dragged into the office building by his collar.  
  
"Hey, c'mon! What're you doing?"  
  
Ranma continued to drag him by the collar and spoke in very authoritive voice. "Now stop acting like a lech and let's go. She's out of your league anyway."  
  
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
  
  
The inside of the office was more impressive than the outside, which was saying something. Glancing around the room, Ranma noted a large group of people sitting just outside the main hallways. Dragging his complaining quarry behind him, Ranma dumped both his loads on the floor and took a seat.  
  
Looking around, Ranma noted the different people in the room chatting. There were two guys other than himself and Tiro, the blond he had noticed earlier, and a redhead with short, slightly curly hair and wearing an even more revealing outfit than the blond. One of the guys, who had black hair tied into a fairly long ponytail, was dressed in a leather jacket over a flak vest and wearing loose army pants, was busy flirting with the redhead, while the other one was wearing some kind of blue body armor and black sweat pants similar to Ranma's own style of dress. He seemed to be looking over the group, appraising them.  
  
  
  
Tiro got up quickly, and moved onto an intercept course for the blond woman, who seemed to be looking for someone, though she never turned toward the station entrance.  
  
"Why hello there miss, may I help you?" Tiro said, putting on his best smile.  
  
The woman turned towards him and blinked. "Uh, that's okay. I've just been assigned here, so I'm just waiting for the police captain."  
  
Tiro raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so it appears we'll be working together! My name is Tiro Yamazaki! It's a pleasure miss......"  
  
She stood up and bowed. "Sakura Tekai."  
  
Tiro grinned and took Sakura's hand, at which she blinked. "Sakura... such a fitting name for such a-"  
  
"Oh! Hello, what's your name?" Before he could finish his speech, Sakura slipped her hand out of his and had moved past him towards Ranma.  
  
Ranma bowed. "Ranma Saotome. Nice ta meetcha."  
  
Sakura smiled. "So, are you going to be working here too?"  
  
Ranma nodded. "Yup. Looks like it."  
  
"Oh, that's wonderful! We'll be co-workers!"  
  
Tiro grumbled incoherent curses under his breath. She was flirting with him and he was just standing there like he didn't even realize it! How did he do that anyway?  
  
  
  
*Ahem* "Excuse me everyone!"  
  
Everybody in the room stopped talking and turned towards the man in body armor. The sandy-haired man made sure he had everyone's attention, then started speaking.  
  
"Now, you've all been called here for a reason. Most likely, that reason is because you're not good enough to work anywhere else."  
  
Ranma groaned. A few others chuckled, while Sakura looked confused.  
  
"Anyway, you're here now, and as long as you're here, you'll be expected to follow orders. Don't think that just because the DAPC is known for getting all the troublemakers that you people can goof off all the time. Goofing off is limited to Wednesdays and Fridays."  
  
There were more chuckles.  
  
"No, I'm serious."  
  
There was an room-wide, synchronized blink.  
  
"Anyway, my name is Lieutenant Ken, but you can all call me Snake, got that?"  
  
There was a round of nods, and Snake clapped his hands together.  
  
"All right. To get you better acquainted with our department, and introduce you to the rest of us, let me get our senior officers."  
  
Snake stepped out of the room for a moment, then came back with two people in tow. One was a tall man with long blond hair like Sakura, while the other one was an attractive woman with shoulder length blue hair. Both were wearing pants and heavy boots similar to Snake's, but were wearing light blue and white nylon jackets with DAPC on them.  
  
Tiro jabbed Ranma with his elbow. Ranma jabbed him back, and Tiro doubled over.  
  
  
  
The woman was about to say something, when Sakura called out.  
  
"Hi Kyle!"  
  
The blond man noticed her, smiled, and waved. "Hey sis!"  
  
The woman stopped, and looked at her companion. "She's your sister?" She seemed almost fearful of the notion.  
  
Kyle nodded. "Uh huh. Why?"  
  
The blue haired woman shook her head and muttered something under her breath.  
  
"All right, let's get started. I assume you've already met Snake, so let me introduce the rest of us. I'm Captain Asuka Takami, and this is Lieutenant Commander Kyle Tekai. We are your senior officers, and the people you'll be answering to for as long as you're working here. Is that clear?"  
  
She waited for the newcomers to nod, then walked over to the man with the ponytail. "Your name?"  
  
"Tycho Wattai, ma'am."  
  
"Any field of specialization?"  
  
"I'm a driver, ma'am. Whether it's a tank or helicopter, I can operate it!"  
  
Asuka nodded approvingly. "Good, good. Any reasons you transferred here?"  
  
"Well, I heard that the DAPC has good funding and I figured I could get a nice new car here, ma'am."  
  
Asuka blinked, then shrugged. It was still a better reason than she had hoped for. She was about to move on to the redhead when Tycho stepped in front of her, blocking her path. "If I may say so ma'am, it'll be a real pleasure working with... um..."  
  
Ranma looked over to where Tycho was suddenly looking towards to see Kyle frantically running his finger back and forth across his neck.  
  
"Uh, never mind, Captain." Tycho sat back down, a bit nervously at that.  
  
  
  
Glaring at the cadet, Asuka moved up in front of the redhead. "Name?" The woman seemed to enjoy the attention of having everybody's eyes on her, and tried to look more relaxed.  
  
"Junko Chikiko!"  
  
"Any fields of specialization?"  
  
"Nope, sorry."  
  
"I see. And your reason for transferring here?"  
  
Junko frowned as she replied. "Those fuddy-duddies back at my academy sent me here just 'cause I invited some guy back to my room. I swear, those people are no fun at all."  
  
Asuka stared at her. "Are you serious?"  
  
Junko rolled her eyes. "All right, maybe it happened on a couple of occasions, but that's still no reason to get all uppity over a little thing like that!"  
  
Tiro decided to put in his two cents. "Yeah, those instructors think they can boss anybody around!"  
  
Junko smiled at him and Tiro gave himself a silent cheer. Then Asuka glared at the both of them and they shrunk back, though Junko was still smiling shamelessly.  
  
  
  
Asuka sighed and moved on to Sakura. "Name?" The giggling blond quickly stood up and saluted, trying to look professional.  
  
"Sakura Tekai!"  
  
"Any special skills?"  
  
"I'm a highly qualified nurse, ma'am! Fully trained in CPR and other emergency medical care!"  
  
Tiro spoke up again. "Do you do mouth-to-mouth? *Thwack* Ow!"  
  
Sakura blinked, wondering why Ranma smacked Tiro in the head. "Yes, why?"  
  
"*Ahem* That's enough, Sakura." She glared meaningfully at Tiro. "And how did you get transferred here?"  
  
Sakura blushed and scratched her head self-consciously. "Well, to be honest, I was failing some of my courses at the academy when it was time to graduate. But then Kyle called in some favors to get me graduated and then transferred here. Thanks, brother!" Sakura ended her explanation while waving at Kyle, who waved back.  
  
  
  
Asuka looked like she wanted to cry. Quickly composing herself, she walked up to Ranma. "Name?"  
  
"Ranma Saotome."  
  
"Any special skills?"  
  
Ranma thought for a moment. "Well, I'm a combat expert. Martial arts stuff."  
  
Asuka blinked, then took out a clipboard and scanned it.  
  
"Any other noteworthy skills?"  
  
It was Ranma's turn to blink. "Um... well, I can do this."  
  
Ranma held up and open palm and concentrated, and a ball of glowing blue energy formed inside it.  
  
"Cool......" was the general response.  
  
Asuka sweatdropped. "I... see...... Your reason for transferring?"  
  
Ranma stopped to think again, the ball of ki dissipating. "Well... I beat six of the most experienced instructors at the academy all at once in less than 2 minutes without taking a scratch......... I guess for some reason they thought that was a bad thing."  
  
  
  
Asuka's left eye twitched. She moved up to Tiro, fixing him with a glare that seemed to draw his attention toward the holstered gun poking out of the bottom of her jacket. "Name?"  
  
Tiro gulped. "Tiro Yamazaki."  
  
"Special skills?"  
  
"None."  
  
Asuka's glare hardened. "None?"  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
Asuka took out her clipboard and scanned it, then returned her gaze to Tiro.  
  
"According to this, one of you is supposed to be a computer expert."  
  
The recruits all looked at each other, baffled.  
  
Tiro glanced up at her. "Oh, I know what you're talking about. The guy who ran the Hiroshima Academy said that he decided to send that guy into a military special team or something, and that I was going to take his place."  
  
Asuka shut her eyes tight and massaged her temples with one hand. "Can you use a computer?"  
  
Tiro thought about it for a moment. "Um, I surf the internet sometimes..."  
  
*C-Clack* The clipboard hit the floor and Asuka stalked out of the room, mumbling something about Tylenol.  
  
  
  
Kyle walked over to Tiro and picked up the clipboard, then scribbled something out.  
  
"Okay, now that we know who you are, let's get you suited up, all right? Meet me and Snake in the guys' locker room, and you ladies go meet Asuka in the ladies' locker room."  
  
The newcomers looked at each other, then left for the lockers.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma felt a quick pang of nostalgia as he looked around the brand new dressing facility. Memories of being splashed with cold water, being gawked at as a girl, and being beaten to a pulp when having entered the girls' locker room came unbidden to his mind.  
  
Just as quickly as they came, he shook his head to clear them. His curse was a thing of the past, as was his high school life, as was Happousai. He would never have to deal with any of that garbage ever again, and he was glad.  
  
  
  
Kyle opened one of the lockers and revealed the inside. It held Two pairs of baggy black sweat pants, a pair of heavy combat boots, two pairs of black t-shirts, a blue jacket, a utility belt, a pair of padded blue nylon gloves, and a suit of blue lightweight body armor.  
  
Kyle cleared his throat, then addressed Ranma, Tiro, and Tycho.  
  
"This is your required dress. When you're inside the station, you will be required to wear at least the shirt and pants. On patrol, you must wear either the armor or a jacket. When we're on assignment however, you wear the armor, got that?"  
  
The recruits nodded.  
  
Kyle smacked his fist into his palm as he suddenly remembered something. "Oh, and none of that applies for Wednesdays and Fridays."  
  
The recruits looked at each other, then shrugged.  
  
  
  
Kyle nodded. "All right, you suit up, and then Snake will give you your weapon assignments."  
  
  
  
Ranma opened his locker and decided to put on the full suit, armor and all.  
  
Tiro nudged Tycho. "So, you expect there to be so many pretty women here?"  
  
Tycho grinned as he pulled on his shirt. "No way. I heard that the Captain was a babe, but Junko blows her away!"  
  
Tycho turned towards Ranma and grinned. "Though Sakura's got a nice body too, eh Saotome?"  
  
Ranma stared at him. "Her brother's right here, you know."  
  
Suddenly remembering that, Tycho and Tiro glanced over at Kyle, to find him whistling to himself as he changed into a red jacket, totally oblivious to the conversation.  
  
Tiro whispered to the others. "You know, is it just me, or do you get the feeling that the Lieutenant really isn't..."  
  
"Too bright?" Tycho finished. Tiro nodded. "Yeah, you sort of get the same thing from his sister. Though that's usually coupled with a few other feelings."  
  
Tiro and Tycho chuckled quietly. Ranma rolled his eyes as he pulled his pants on. Didn't these people ever grow up?  
  
"Anyway, she was getting pretty friendly with you earlier, Saotome. You going for home?"  
  
Ranma pulled on his boots and looked at them with sincere confusion. "Huh?"  
  
"I said, 'she was getting pretty friendly with you'." Tycho repeated himself.  
  
Ranma shrugged as he stood up. "She's a friendly person."  
  
Tiro and Tycho stared at him.  
  
  
  
Their conversation ended when Kyle called them.  
  
"All right fellas, follow me to the armory, and we can get you some firearms. Remember, only use them when you're sure the target has done something wrong."  
  
Tiro and Tycho spared a glance at each other. Ranma grunted.  
  
As a martial artist, Ranma had pretty much looked down upon using weapons during his fights. Occasionally he used them anyway, but he much preferred using his fists and feet. Guns were more than just looked down upon among martial artists, they were despised, hated, and otherwise vilified. Nevertheless, the use of guns and similar weapons was more than just mandatory to a police officer, and Ranma's perfect eyesight, not to mention excellent coordination and agility, had made him a natural sharpshooter. He hated it, but he still excelled at it. Life was strange.  
  
Banishing such thoughts, Ranma followed Tiro out of the locker room.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"-And when you're on assignment, you must wear the armor at all times. Any questions?"  
  
Asuka looked at Sakura and Junko, both of whom were looking at the uniforms with obvious distaste.  
  
Sakura was the first to speak. "You can't possibly expect me to where these pants! They're hideous! Don't you have any skirts?"  
  
Asuka groaned. "It's standard uniform, Sakura."  
  
Junko nodded to Sakura. "There's no way I'm wearing this stuff. Especially the armor. I can't imagine how much this would hurt!"  
  
Asuka sweatdropped. "Hurt? What do you mean?"  
  
Junko smiled at her. "Well, hon, this stuff may fit well on you, but we're ahead of you by a few bra sizes, you know what I mean? This'll pinch my chest like crazy!"  
  
Asuka growled in a low voice and her left eye started twitching. "Well, you don't have to wear the armor if you don't want to..."  
  
Junko gave the Captain a flat look. "Oh, so we're supposed to parade around in these big,baggy, ugly uniforms? I think a few ammendments of the dress code are in order."  
  
Asuka felt like banging her head on the lockers. She really didn't get paid enough for this.  
  
"Look, what is it with you? What's wrong with these clothes?"  
  
Sakura picked up a pair of pants and held it at arm's length. "They're just so... icky. Can I wear shorts?"  
  
Asuka looked like she was going to say something, but Junko cut her off. "Look Captain, as the only females in the group, we have a responsibility to maintain the high morale of the rest of the troops. How can we do that if we can't show off our beautiful bodies?"  
  
Sakura giggled at Junko's blatancy. Asuka sighed and headed out of the locker room.  
  
"Wear whatever you want. Meet me in the armory when you're done."  
  
  
  
Junko waited until she was gone before she turned back to Sakura.  
  
"Well this is just great. I swear, I am positively sick of all these 'do things by the book or get thrown out on the street' supervisors."  
  
Sakura frowned. "Still, that was kind of mean. You know, the comment about her chest?"  
  
Junko laughed. "Nothing but the truth, girl. She's gotta learn to live with it sooner or later."  
  
Junko put down her bag and pulled out some spandex pants. Taking out another pair of shorts, she started sizing up Sakura.  
  
"So, you putting the moves on Saotome?"  
  
Sakura's blush was instantaneous. "Uh, well, I did want to get to know him better..."  
  
Junko smiled and handed her a pair of shorts that seemed to redefine the term "short".  
  
"I hear ya, girl. I was gonna go for it myself when you got to him first. Is your brother available?"  
  
Sakura laughed as she started to tell Junko about how clueless her brother was.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Snake clapped his hands together as his eyes swept the room. Noting Asuka's absence, he shrugged and decided to go on anyway.  
  
"All right, I know you're all eager to get your hands on a gun, so let's get started!"  
  
He laughed. No one else did. Blinking, he coughed and started speaking in a more serious voice.  
  
"Now I'm the department's weapon and demolitions expert. If you want a gun, and you don't outrank me, nothing leaves the armory without my permission. Now we're all going to have to answer a few questions to determine what sidearm you're issued. Now this is all state-of-the-art weaponry, so if you break it, at least make sure you kill something first."  
  
Again there was silence, although he didn't seem to be expecting anything this time.  
  
  
  
"Yamazaki, what weapon class do you like?"  
  
Tiro blinked and stuttered. "Uh, pistol, I guess."  
  
"Can you hit a parked car at 50 feet?"  
  
Tiro blinked again. "Yes."  
  
Snake grabbed a blocky looking handgun and tossed it to him. Tiro panicked, and barely managed to fumble the weapon into his hands.  
  
"20 mm. Magnum Advanced. Use it well."  
  
As Tiro stood there stunned, Snake turned toward Tycho.  
  
"Wattai, what class?"  
  
Tycho thought about it for a moment and shrugged. "Automatic or assault weaponry, I guess."  
  
"You like machine guns or flamethrowers? Or do you like explosives better?"  
  
Tycho considered the question carefully before answering. "Light machine gun, please."  
  
"I assume you can hit the side of a barn?"  
  
Before Tycho could mumble "what," a large rifle nearly a meter long was thrust into his chest.  
  
"35 mm. Pulse rifle. Never use it without backup ammo cartridges."  
  
Snake turned to Ranma.  
  
"Saotome?"  
  
Ranma looked at him and shrugged. "I'll do good with anything. I don't really care."  
  
Snake grinned. "I love a man that likes a little diversity. You shoot well?"  
  
Ranma nodded. Before he knew what was happening, his hand shot out and grabbed a rifle out of pure reflex. Before he had finished dropping the rifle, he was forced to catch several other weapons, including what looked like an automatic shotgun and several small cylinders.  
  
"Pulse rifle, Luger, hand flamer, rail gun, grenade launcher, fusion charges, T-Bolt pulse cannon..." Snake turned back to Ranma, who was trying to juggle 7 of the explosives and a grenade magazine, and gestured to the gun that resembled a shotgun, "be careful with that, by the way. It's untested."  
  
Ranma's concentration broke, and the incineraries fell to the ground, many of them bouncing off his head on the way down.  
  
  
  
Kyle looked at the vast array of weaponry and shook his head at Snake.  
  
"He can't even carry all that. Start him off with like two or three of those. And make sure he knows how to set those charges first."  
  
"Better yet, why don't we give him an actual test before we hand him something that can level a building?"  
  
Everybody's head snapped to attention, to see an irate Asuka walking towards the group.  
  
Snake rolled his eyes. "C'mon Captain, he's a combat expert. This is what he does!"  
  
Ranma looked distastefully at the railgun as he picked it up, then hooked the strap over his shoulder.  
  
"I'll use this one. I don't need this other stuff."  
  
Snake looked disappointed, but started picking up the other guns and explosives.  
  
Tiro looked around. "Hey, where're the others?"  
  
"Right here!"  
  
  
  
Tiro turned around at Sakura's voice and stared. And drooled. Tycho's reaction was more passive, but not by much.  
  
Sakura was wearing blue shorts and a white tank top with her jacket tied around her waist. Junko wore a pair of spandex biking shorts and a flak vest similar to Tycho's that exposed far more cleavage than it covered.  
  
Kyle turned toward Asuka. "Is it Wednesday?"  
  
Asuka groaned and held her head in her hand. "Are you two really going to wear that?"  
  
Sakura blinked. "Why not? I think it looks good on us."  
  
Tiro grinned and nodded. "It does! It does!"  
  
  
  
Ranma ignored the whole scene, trying to figure out how his gun worked. Picking up one of the 2-foot rail cartridges, he began poking the weapon in various places with it.  
  
Asuka sighed. "Fine. Wear whatever you want. Snake, don't give them anything without a safety, all right?"  
  
Snake pouted. Kyle saw Ranma struggling with his weapon and went over to help him.  
  
Snake smiled broadly at Junko. "What gun you want?"  
  
Junko shrugged, the subtle motion causing Tycho to start choking on his own drool. "Gimme whatever's standard. I'm not particular."  
  
Snake mumbled something and threw her the same kind of handgun that he had given Tiro. "20 mm. Magnum Advanced. Takai?"  
  
Ranma grabbed Tiro, who had been trying to inch toward Sakura. "C'mere and help us with this, would'ya?" Tiro looked Kyle, who was purple from the effort of trying to jam the ammo into the gun, and sighed.  
  
Sakura frowned. "I don't know. I don't really like guns."  
  
Asuka rolled her eyes. Snake gaped at her like she was insane. Tiro tried pushing a button on the side of the rail gun, and a compartment snapped open and pinned his hand to the trigger base.  
  
"DON'T LIKE GUNS?!?! Why the hell did you become a police officer then?!"  
  
Sakura winced from being yelled at. "I wanted to work with my brother..."  
  
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Get it off! Get it off! It hurts! It hurts!"  
  
"Hold on! I've almost got it in!"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Uh... help?"  
  
Snake stared hard at Sakura for a moment before he tossed her a small rifle.  
  
"Here's a bolter. Don't use it if you don't want to." somehow he managed to sound disgusted at the prospect.  
  
Sakura nervously grabbed the weapon out of the air and miled weakly at Snake. "Heh heh... thanks."  
  
"Got it!" Kyle yelled in triumph and closed the ammo compartment on the rail gun as Tiro collapsed to the ground in considerable pain. Trying to locate the safety, he began to try diffeerent buttons on the device.  
  
"Hey, wait, don't mess with that!" Kyle ignored Ranma as began fumbling around the trigger.  
  
Asuka walked to the back of the room and turned around, trying to imagine that everyone was paying attention.  
  
"All right, now that you've all been registered to the DAPC, you'll be recieving your ID badges shortly. We'll have a short tour of the station, and then you can all go home for the day. Tomorrow you new officers will be recieving your first briefing, and-"  
  
"Wait, I think I found it..." *Thoom!*  
  
A white-hot bolt impacted the light right above Asuka, making a nice big hole in the ceiling, and showering everyone in the room with sparks. A moment later the rest of the lights went out, as well as all of the other electronic devices in the building.  
  
  
  
"..........................................................." Kyle would have chuckled nervously, but he was afraid it would have given away his position in the dark.  
  
Tycho's voice penetrated the darkness. "Since the power's out, can we just go home now?"  
  
"Sakura! Are you okay? Where are you? *Thwack!* Ow!"  
  
"Dammit, Tiro, watch where you're grabbing!" Ranma had been having a bad feeling about this place since the beginning, and now that feeling was only intensifying.  
  
Asuka rubbed her forehead. Had she been able to see, she would have lunged for the bottle of painkillers on the desk. "This is not a good sign..."  
  
Snake clearly agreed. "Been a hell of a first day hasn't it?" Snake turned on a flashlight.  
  
"Alright people, follow me to the labs, where we'll introduce you to our scentific personnel, which consists of a med school dropout and an assistant undertaker who likes to do autopsies for fun."  
  
Ranma was worried. "You are joking...... aren't you?"  
  
Kyle shook his head. "You'll wish he was joking when we're done. It only goes downhill from here."  
  
Ranma sighed and braced himself for whatever lied ahead. What on Earth possessed him to sign up for this?  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Okay. #1: I really don't know anything about the Japanese police force, heck, I hardly know anything about the American police force, so much of the stuff I talk about regarding structure, rank, and just about everything else are either guesses or info I got from prime time sitcoms. Who says TV isn't educational?  
  
#2: If some of the characters (other than Ranma) seem familiar, they should. Kyle is essentially a modern-style version of Gourry Gabriev from Slayers, and Tiro is a somewhat toned down and more competant version of Ataru Moroboshi. If any of the other characters (again, besides Ranma) resemble ones from other anime, then it's a coincidence. Really, it is! 


	2. First Day on the Job! Can This Get Any W...

Guardian  
  
a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
To disclaim or not to disclaim... what a stupid question. To risk the errant lawyers and their petty lawsuits, or waste precious time and web space to secure the legality of my creations? Aye, but there's the rub. Or something like that.  
  
  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 2  
  
First Day on The Job! Can This Get Any Worse?!  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
It had been a long day and a hard one. Weapons had misfired, lights had gone out, and currently his best friend was some kind of hentai.  
  
Of course, the rest of them didn't look much better.  
  
Ranma fingered his police I.D., rubbing the hard laminated surface as the bus came to his stop. At least the pay was good, but still......  
  
'Hmph. If I wanted money, I could've gone into professional basketball or soccer and made millions.'  
  
He shook his head as he got off the bus and reached into his pocket, pulling out a crumpled sheet of paper. This was the place.  
  
  
  
Stepping inside, Ranma was subjected to a number of unidentifiable odors, as well as the rather detrimental interior of the apartment building. He just hoped his room wasn't this bad.  
  
Focusing on a fat, greasy looking man lounging in a chair next to the superintendant's office, he showed him the piece of paper.  
  
The man stared at it for a moment, then reached for the wall behind him and took a key off its hook. The man tossed Ranma the key, then gestured upstairs.  
  
Muttering his thanks, Ranma hefted his bags and headed for the stairs, avoiding any steps that looked ready to shatter at the slightest touch.  
  
Finally reaching apartment #48, his apartment, Ranma jammed the key in the hole and turned it.  
  
The door came down immediately, and Ranma was stuck, baffled, holding the bare knob in the air by the key still inside it.  
  
Muttering curses under his breath, Ranma stepped through the doorway, tossing the broken doorknob onto the ground and putting the door back up before inspecting the interior.  
  
Ranma sighed. It didn't smell, which was good, but other than that, it wasn't much more than he would've gotten sleeping out on the streets. It was devoid of furniture, save a single foam mat, complete with pillow and sheet. There were some very noticeable holes in the wall, which served to make the room about as cold as it was outside, and very drafty. A single lightbulb suspended by a plastic cord provided the only light in the room. What really confused him, though, was the entrance to the bathroom, which had a sign proclaiming it "out of order".  
  
Setting the fallen door back into the frame, Ranma walked up to the bathroom door, curiosity getting the better of him. He opened it slightly, and when nothing came pouring out, he opened it enough to look inside.  
  
He never got to see the inside, however, as he was immediately subjected to a massive stream of water hitting him in the face from an unknown source. Quickly shutting the door, Ranma stood there coughing for several moments before he looked down at his soaked body and groaned.  
  
*Thud* Ranma turned at the sound of the door falling to see the same overweight man from before.  
  
"I forgot to tells ya, yer bathroom faucet goes nuts whenever you opens the door. Can't do a thing about it, im'fraid." with that the man headed back down the stairs, every wooden step giving protest to the journey.  
  
Ranma stood there stunned. And soaked. Then he got angry.  
  
Of course, to take this out on the nearest available object was difficult. There was only the mat, the bathroom door, and his bags. None of which he wanted to destroy, lest his situation become even worse.  
  
And so, bereft of options, he sat on the ground fuming until a large cockroach skittered across the floor. It was quickly incinerated courtesy of a concentrated ki blast.  
  
Feeling slightly better, Ranma shoved his bags in a corner and then huddled onto the mat, wrapping the thin sheet around him.  
  
'Well, maybe in a few weeks I can afford a new place.'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Sunday was not a day that Asuka liked. In fact, you could say that Asuka hated Sundays.  
  
Of course, she had a good reason to hate it. While most people were at home relaxing, she was at work, trying to control the miserable group of human beings that through some fallacy in their legal system, had become police officers. Plus it came right before Monday, which everybody hated.  
  
Sighing to herself, the police Captain put her key into the door of the police station, only to find it unlocked. Confused, she entered the station. Had Kyle or Snake come early? It seemed about as likely as the sun suddenly plummeting into the Earth. She briefly entertained the thought that the station had been burglarized, but quickly discarded it. Nobody in their right mind would rob a police station, even if there was rarely anyone there after dark.  
  
  
  
Her musing was interrupted by the sound of a toilet flushing.  
  
Standing where she was, she was in a perfect position to see Ranma exit the bathroom, in full uniform and looking extremely relieved.  
  
"Eager to start work, Saotome?"  
  
Ranma looked at her for a moment. "It's complicated. And weird. I doubt you wanna know."  
  
Asuka shrugged and slid her I.D. through the card slot on the wall and then punched in a code on the keypad next to it. All at once the entire building seemed to activate, with doors unlocking, lights and computers turning on, and most importantly, the coffee maker starting.  
  
As Asuka poured herself a cup, Ranma looked around for anyone else.  
  
"Isn't there anyone but you?"  
  
Asuka looked up from her coffee. "Well, you're here," she answered sarcastically.  
  
Only slightly annoyed at the response, Ranma thought about what he knew about the DAPC.  
  
"I mean, doesn't anybody stay overnight?"  
  
Asuka didn't bother to look up. "We're too understaffed to push for night shifts."  
  
Ranma shot her a questioning glance. "I've been wondering, shouldn't we have a police chief? I thought there was usually someone that the Captain answered to."  
  
This time Asuka did look up, annoyed. "Mr. Higashi 'retired' last year, disappearing without a trace and leaving a note saying only 'So long suckers'."  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Uh huh. Was it that bad?"  
  
Asuka raised her coffee mug to her lips as she spoke. "We needed you new officers for a reason. *Slurp* Last year, nine officers were expelled from the force, two were arrested themselves for highly illegal conduct, and three of them were eaten by something or other."  
  
Ranma's sweatdrop grew. "Ouch."  
  
Asuka shrugged. "It's a stressful job."  
  
  
  
"Hey everybody! How's it goin'?"  
  
Asuka grimaced as Tiro made his entrance into the station. What was he so happy about?  
  
Tiro walked up to Ranma and gave him a good-natured punch in the shoulder. "So what's up Saotome? You wouldn't believe the great place I just landed! And the landlady is sooooo hot!"  
  
"Glad to hear it," Ranma mumbled bitterly.  
  
Tiro whirled around to face Asuka. "Cadet Yamazaki ready for duty, ma'am!"  
  
She gave him a flat look. "You're out of uniform."  
  
Tiro blinked at the unexpected response as Asuka sat down at her computer. Then, determined to keep a sunny disposition, he returned to Ranma's side.  
  
"So! You just moved here too, right? How's your new place? Pretty cool?"  
  
Ranma resisted the urge to remove the teeth from Tiro's smile. "It's a...... bit of a fixer-upper."  
  
"Can't talk now man, babe alert!"  
  
Tiro whirled away from Ranma and seemed to phase in front of Sakura the moment she opened the door. Which wasn't very bright, considering the door smacked him in the face.  
  
"Hi everyone!" Sakura shouted her greeting to the office, as Kyle wondered why the doormat was so lumpy.  
  
"C-c-can't b-breathe......"  
  
"Kyle, I think your left foot is on Yamazaki's trachea." Snake had the courtesy to step over the struggling body.  
  
Kyle turned to his sister. "What's a trachea?"  
  
"Just... get... OFF!!!" Tiro managed to gasp out before Sakura started explaining it.  
  
Junko paused upon entering the station, wondering what all the commotion was about.  
  
  
  
"Is everybody here?" Asuka's question grabbed everyone's attention, and Kyle stumbled enough to allow Tiro to get up.  
  
Ranma looked around. "Tycho's missing."  
  
Asuka frowned. "We'll have to make do. Come with me to the briefing room. We've got an assignment." 'It's about bloody time we got something done around here.'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The briefing room was a large, soundproofed area, identifiable by the rows of chairs and the big, expensive-looking projector on the table in the center of the room.  
  
After everyone except Asuka was seated, she pushed a button on the projector, and the whole thing lit up, emitting a low hum that accompanied its cooling fan.  
  
Picking up the remote control, she pushed a button near the top and opened her mouth to speak.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Rattattattattatta!!* *The high caliber machine guns are more suited to destroy large, but lightly armored targets such as- *  
  
The projector stopped, and the picture showing a machine gun nest razing an artillery piece disappeared.  
  
Asuka glared at the only two people not wondering what the heck just happened.  
  
Snake gulped. "Er... Kyle did it!"  
  
"They were your slides!" The tall blond retorted.  
  
"Shut up! Just shut up!!" Asuka fumed, and noisily changed the slides in the projector. Everyone else wisely remained silent.  
  
She pushed the same button on the remote control, and this time two dead bodies were shown.  
  
"This is Shin and Temoe Takusemichiro. They were brothers in life and business, and ran an honest, clean industry. At least as far as we can tell. They were both on the board of directors at Shiromir Industries, have never been convicted of anything worse than speeding, and were healthy both in mind and body. They were both shot to death on June 8th, just last night, on a deserted street in downtown Tokyo."  
  
Tiro looked partially stunned from the sudden influx of information, but still managed to ask, "Do we know who shot them?"  
  
Asuka nodded somberly. "Yes. It was two detectives belonging to the Tokyo Police Force. According to the officers, both of the deceased attacked them without provocation, ignoring any and all warnings. Shin seriously injured one of the officers before he died of eight bullet wounds, five to the head, two to the chest and one in the leg. Temoe didn't get nearly as far, falling after two bullets, one to the neck and another to the heart."  
  
Kyle raised his hand. Asuka groaned. "Yes?"  
  
"How did they attack the officers if they were deceased?" Silence met his question.  
  
Tiro coughed. "I, uh, think when she said 'deceased', she was talking about how they're dead now."  
  
Kyle blinked, and then laughed nervously. "Oh, right! Heh, sorry! Go on, go on!"  
  
"Yes..." Asuka turned back to the projector, though the sweatdrop on her head remained.  
  
"The officers say that their attackers seemed unusually pale, uncooridinated, and unresponsive. They also said that other than the physical force of the bullet, they seemed able to ignore all but the final bullet wound which finished them off. The autopsy revealed only two formerly healthy bodies, with no traces of any kind of poison or drug. This is extremely unusual, and the DAPC been asked to contribute our services."  
  
"They sound like some kind of zombies." Ranma was talking mostly to himself, but his statement had attracted everyone's attention.  
  
Asuka gave him a flat look. "And I suppose you've some experience with zombies?"  
  
Ranma had to think about that one. "Uh... no, not really. I've seen plenty of ghosts, but I've never really seen a zombie." He was really starting to get annoyed at all the weird looks he was getting.  
  
"Gh-ghosts? For real?" Sakura squeaked.  
  
"So...... they were already dead when they attacked!" Kyle ventured.  
  
Asuka groaned. "Look, let's try and rule out the undead for a moment, all right? What we know is this: these people would never attack anybody, much less armed police officers, in their right minds. Something happened to them that not only made them unusually violent and aggressive, but also deadened them to a substantial amount of pain."  
  
  
  
Looking around, and noting that most of those present were trying not to think of what they just heard, Asuka decided to change the subject.  
  
"Does anyone know where Tycho is?"  
  
Tiro spoke up. "I heard him say he was going to 'try out some of the equipment'. I think he broke into the garage and went joyriding last night."  
  
Asuka forced herself not to sigh. "All right, it's time to get busy. Sakura, you'll be on patrol with me. Kyle will give the rest of you your orders.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma stepped into the shiny blue car and strapped himself into the passenger side. He'd never really liked cars, as he had his own, more versatile mode of transportation (I.E. jumping from roof to roof), but like guns, they were something he had to get used to.  
  
Looking around the interior, the thing looked almost new. Toward the front was a complex-looking mini-computer and radio, as well as a GPS link. Noting the thickness of the door, the car was probably armored too.  
  
  
  
"Nice, eh?" Kyle slipped into the driver's side and fastened his own seatbelt before backing out of the garage. Soon they were speeding along the Tokyo streets, heading for downtown.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence as they scanned the roads together, watching for anything amiss.  
  
"So...... ghosts, huh?"  
  
The question had come out of nowhere, and Ranma found himself off guard. "Uh, yeah. I've met a few of them."  
  
Kyle was more curious than skeptical. "You mean like tortured souls of the dead and stuff, right? Come back to haunt those responsible for their suffering?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Well, no. One was a cat that was looking for a girlfriend. Another was a girl that... sort of... came out of me. Then there was the ghost of this snake-woman who was looking for a husband. And the rest were just broken-up couples that wanted to break up everyone else as revenge."  
  
Kyle looked surprised. "No kidding?"  
  
Ranma shook his head. Everything he had said was true, but he still couldn't believe that Kyle was buying it. It sounded far-fetched even to him.  
  
  
  
In a short time they had passed the commercial districts, and the crowds thinned out to where only a few people could be seen wandering the streets.  
  
Kyle stuck his head out the window. "Well, this is the place. You see anything suspicious?"  
  
Ranma scanned the right side of the street, deserted save for a small mammallian body lying on the sidewalk.  
  
"Just a dead dog. You?"  
  
"Nah, just a crowd of people attacking some guy in an alleyway." Kyle shrugged and started accelerating the car.  
  
It took him exactly 7.4 seconds to realize what was wrong with that statement, and it took Ranma roughly the same amount of time to figure out that it wasn't some sort of weird joke.  
  
"Jeezus! We gotta help him!" Kyle thrust the door open and jumped out of the car, and Ranma followed suit.  
  
"Stop right where you are! This is the police!" Kyle drew his pistol and aimed at the nearest aggressor. Ranma stopped next to him, glaring at the backs of the thugs.  
  
Then, as one, the entire group turned towards them, though some were quicker at it than others. Kyle gasped and took a step back, and Ranma's eyes narrowed.  
  
There were five of them in all, four men and a woman. They matched the briefing's description perfectly: pale, uncoordinated, and several had wounds that they were obviously ignoring with little trouble.  
  
Kyle found his voice again quickly. "Stop or we'll-"  
  
The crowd apparently didn't care, and charged into the two, muttering only groans and growls as they ran.  
  
Kyle was about to shoot when Ranma shot forward, kicking the first two each in the chest and knocking them flat on their backs. The other three quickly oriented on him, trying to surround him as they struck with clumsy punches and clawing swipes.  
  
Without ceremony or fanfare, he laid the remaining three out with low sweeps and quick jabs, knocking them to the ground.  
  
Kyle stared at the two bodies lying on the ground beneath him. "Uh, are they dead?"  
  
Ranma dusted his hands off as he stepped over the unconscious woman. "Nah, it was a pressure point strike. They'll be fine in ten minutes, unless they really were zombies." Ranma turned toward the alley and sighed as he looked at the condition of the group's victim.  
  
"He's dead." Kyle sighed, then reached into the car for his radio. "Yeah, Junko? We've got a corpse and five unconscious. They might need to be restrained too, so tell the meds to be prepared."  
  
  
  
Ranma sighed and started berating himself for not noticing the attack earlier. Glancing around aimlessly, his eye just barely caught a small black thing squirming near Kyle's foot.  
  
"Hey Leuitenant, what's that thing?"  
  
Kyle looked up at him questioningly, then found what he was looking at. "I dunno. Some kind of slug, I guess."  
  
Kyle picked it up off the ground, and the creature seemed to calm down in his hand, slowly making its way over the gloves and onto his bare arm.  
  
"Anyway, the ambulances'll be here in about 2 minutes. There's a coffee place down the street, you wanna get something?"  
  
Ranma shook his head as he watched the slimy little creature stop as it got to bare skin, then flatten itself out.  
  
Kyle glanced down at it, then started to look nervous. "Uh, you don't think that this thing's a leech, do you?"  
  
Ranma nearly laughed. "A leech? Here? I don't think so. Why?"  
  
Kyle gulped. "C-cause I can't feel my arm. Or my legs. I-I think my other arm is starting to go... getting dizzy......"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped and casually peeled off the black creature, which seemed to protest at being removed. About three seconds later, Kyle collapsed to the ground.  
  
Ranma glances down at Kyle, then at the slug. "Weird." The slug wriggled fiercely in his hand; trying to escape he imagined.  
  
"Ohhhh, my head..." Kyle slowly got up and rubbed his arm to try and get some feeling into it. After a moment he glared at the slimy organism as it thrashed around in Ranma's grip.  
  
  
  
Ranma turned at the sound of sirens that signaled the arrival of the ambulances. Handing the small creature to Kyle (who protested loudly before remembering to close his hands over it), he made his way through the group of paramedics that poured out to load the unconscious onto stretchers. Noticing the police car that pulled up next to one of the ambulances, Ranma walked over to it just as Asuka stepped out.  
  
"Saotome? What's going on here?"  
  
Ranma put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Don't really know. A bunch of people killed a guy, then attacked us. I took care of them.  
  
Sakura overheard the last part of the conversation as she stepped out of the car. "Oh no! You didn't kill them, did you?"  
  
Ranma shook his head quickly. "Nononononono. Just knocked 'em out. They'll be fine."  
  
Sakura looked relieved. Asuka was about to ask how he knocked out five attackers without taking a scratch, then decided it might be better for her peace of mind not to.  
  
"That reminds me. Tekai, do a quick survey of the dead body. Find out if he was beaten to death or what."  
  
Sakura looked fearful of the notion. "D-do I h-have to? I don't like blood......"  
  
Asuka facefaulted. Ranma would have joined her, but found that he wasn't really surprised.  
  
"Just do it! That's an order!" Sakura cringed at Asuka's voice, and quickly scurried over to where the paramedics were observing the body.  
  
"A nurse that doesn't like blood... what have I done to deserve this?"  
  
Ranma chuckled. Asuka glared at him, but he didn't seem to notice, which annoyed her even more.  
  
"*Ahem* Saotome, do you have anything else to tell me, or are you just wasting my time?"  
  
Ranma blinked, then remembered the slug/leech thing. "Yeah, there's some kind of wierd slimy thing that me and Kyle found. You might want to take a look at it. Yo, Kyle!"  
  
  
  
The leuitenant made his way through the crowd from where he was comforting his sister (who had apparently had fallen to pieces at the sight of the mutilated body), with his hands still clamped shut.  
  
Asuka looked down at where he obviously held something he either didn't want to reveal or didn't want to let loose. "If this is one of those 'open your mouth, close your eyes' pranks, I swear I'll have you all fired."  
  
Kyle sweatdropped and scratched the back of his head with one hand. "No no, it's not that, I just..." it was at that point he looked down and noticed his palm was empty. "Oops. Hold on, he got away."  
  
Ranma slapped his forehead. Asuka blinked. Kyle looked got on his knees and started searching the ground until someone screamed.  
  
"Ahhh!! I-I can't move! Help!" The paramedic collapsed on the ground, twitching and pale, the others surrounding him, surprised.  
  
"Ah, it must be over there." Kyle calmly pushed the panicking medics to the side, then pulled up the man's pant leg. Nodding his head, he pulled off the patch of black clinging to the man's leg, then brought it over to Asuka.  
  
"See? It does something to you when it gets on your skin. I think it's a leech."  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "It isn't a leech. There're no leeches around here."  
  
"How do you know? Have you ever seen a leech before?"  
  
"Yes! They only live in swamps and caves and really damp places! We're in the middle of the city!"  
  
"Maybe it escaped from a pet shop."  
  
"Who keeps leeches as pets?!"  
  
Asuka rubbed her forehead. "Kami, why must I put up with these idiots?" Stepping between her two subordinates and giving each of them a glare in the eyes (an impressive feat since they were both nearly a foot taller), she snatched up the black creature and put it into a plastic container she kept in her car.  
  
"We'll get this to the lab. You nitwits get back into your car and finish your patrols." Asuka waved over Sakura (who was looking rather shook up), and took off with the ambulances, and soon the two officers found themselves alone.  
  
  
  
"............I still say it's a leech."  
  
"With all due respect leuitenant... shut up."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault! The steering column jammed up!"  
  
Ranma just sighed as he dragged Tycho into the DAPC station. He didn't know what a steering column was, or what would happen if it got jammed, but he and Kyle had found Tycho at the park, next to an armored personnel transport that had been driven through four trees and into the pond.  
  
At first Asuka was curious why Ranma and Kyle were back so early, until Ranma tossed Tycho on the ground in front of her. Eyes narrowing, she gave the driver her most deadly "this better be good" stare.  
  
Tycho gulped. "Uh, I, uh, tried out some of the vehicles last night, and, well..." suddenly getting an idea, he stood up and saluted. "I'm sorry to report that I've found some defects in our equipment. The Nighthawk Attack Cycle has unusually bad cornering at high speed, and the Rhino Transport has a bad steering column. I suggest we report these flaws to the manufacturer immediately!"  
  
Ranma and Kyle crossed their arms and frowned. Asuka's demeanor didn't budge.  
  
Tycho swallowed deeper. "I'm in trouble aren't I?"  
  
Kyle nodded solemnly. "Ohhhhh yeah."  
  
Asuka finally spoke. "It was a good try, but nobody gets off that easy. You're suspended for a week. And when you get back, you can start paying for whatever damages you've done to the vehicles."  
  
Tycho looked devastated. Starting to feel a little sorry for him, Ranma decided to defend him. "It wasn't really that bad. The car's all right, just a few scratches."  
  
"Yeah, well you havn't seen the cycle..." Tycho muttered. It took eight seconds until he realized he had said that out loud.  
  
  
  
"Aaaaaaaah!!" *Thud*  
  
  
  
After tossing Tycho out of the building, Ranma dusted off his hands as he walked back outside, where Asuka appeared to be waiting for him.  
  
"Saotome, Tekai, we've got something on that slug that you found, and-"  
  
"Leech," Kyle insisted.  
  
"It wasn't a leech! There are no leeches in Tokyo!"  
  
"What kind of slug makes your arm numb?"  
  
"That's what we're trying to find out!"  
  
"*AHEM*!!" Asuka startled both of them out of there argument. "Sorry to interrupt your little debate, but we're still not sure what it is. Seras has been testing it, and says he found something he wants us to see. On top of that, all the attackers from the street have woken up, and none of them have shown any of the symptoms from before. Skin coloration is normal, they're perfectly coherent, they can feel pain, no aggressive tendencies, etc. None of them remember what happened."  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "None of them? What do they remember?"  
  
Asuka sighed. "According to all five of the victims they were leaving work when a numbing sensation spread through the lower half of their bodies. After a short time they lost consciousness. The next thing they remembered was waking up in the hospital, restrained and sporting a number of heavy bruises."  
  
Kyle glanced at Ranma.  
  
"Better bruises than bullet-holes!" Ranma said, annoyed.  
  
Asuka nodded. "True. The strange thing, however, is that they all work at the same place: Shiromir Industries."  
  
Kyle scratched his head. "Isn't that the same place-"  
  
Asuka didn't need him to finish the question. "Yes, the same place that the first two victims were from. The man that was killed had no connections to the company or any of the afflicted. It's reasonable to suspect he was just a random passerby."  
  
Ranma turned back to Kyle. "Hey, didn't that slug cause numbness in your arm?"  
  
"Yeah. But I still think it's a leech."  
  
Asuka kept herself from groaning. "Yes, yes, shut up already. We're almost positive that whatever the hell you found is responsible for the state these people are in. Let's go to the lab and see what Seras found."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The laboratory, like the rest of the building, was expensive, complex, state-of-the-art, and nearly deserted. Only a single researcher had stayed with the DAPC, and that was only because he didn't have a degree, which barred him from many other research careers.  
  
Seras had dropped out of medical college at age 22, not because he didn't understand the curriculum, but because his unfortunate fondness for alcohol often left him in poor condition to take tests the next day.  
  
And so it was that Seras Tuko took a swig of sake as the police officers lined up in front of the lab observation table.  
  
  
  
Tiro nudged Ranma and then gestured towards the table in the corner that held a complex distillery.  
  
"Boy, this guy's set, huh? By the way, didn't you guys find Tycho?"  
  
"Don't ask." Ranma grumbled.  
  
"Attention! Attention everyone!" Seras tapped his empty sake bottle on the edge of the table, and soon all eyes were on him. Clearing his throat, he gestured to the slimy black creature flattened out on a metal sphere suspended by a metal pole holding a conduit.  
  
"As you all know, this little bugger is our prime suspect for whatever the hell happened to all those people. Now you ask yourself, 'how does it do that?' Well, you see-"  
  
Kyle raised his hand. "Actually, I'd rather know what it is. Is it a slug or a leech?"  
  
*Stomp* "OW!!!" Asuka smiled as Kyle bent over to cradle his foot.  
  
"Please continue, Tuko."  
  
Seras sweatdropped. "Right... anyway, after some quick experiments, I've found out a lot."  
  
Seras slipped on a rubber glove, then picked up the black organism. It started wriggling fiercely as soon as it left the sphere, trying to get a grip on Seras' hand.  
  
"When I finally recieved this thing, less than 15 minutes after it attacked its last victim, it was almost dead. Then I attached it to a lab rat, and the thing was rejuvenated almost instantly." Seras reached under the table, and pulled out another sake bottle. "After some quick tests, I determined that it requires electric pulses to survive."  
  
Ranma blinked. "So... how does it live on someone's body? Doesn't it have to be plugged in or something?"  
  
Seras laughed, then took a swig from his bottle. "All creatures create some measure of electricity through their bodies, and this little sucker doesn't need much to live. Without attaching to a host at least as big as it is, I'd give this little guy half an hour 'till it dries up and dies."  
  
Asuka was alarmed. "Half an hour? That's not much time to find a host."  
  
Seras smiled. "Exactly! A creature like this couldn't survive long enough in the wild. Which suggests that this creature isn't natural, which I suspected in the first place."  
  
Junko had looked bored at first, but now she was interested. "So, it's like a mutant or something?"  
  
Seras nodded. "This creature is derivative of the common garden slug, but has a remarkably accurate genetic model added to its normal DNA pattern."  
  
Ranma turned and pointed to Kyle. "HA!! Slug, not leech!!" Asuka tried to step on his foot, but he seemed to move it away without even noticing her assault.  
  
Seras coughed. "Yes, well... anyway, what this thing does is secrete a fluid which is absorbed straight into the skin. This fluid creates a channel which absorbs electricity running through your nervous system. When this happens, messages stop running back and forth between the afflicted limb and the brain. This causes numbness and loss of function in that limb. Eventually electricity runs from other parts of the body into the infected limb, and it's absorbed too. This causes a total loss of body function. Understand?"  
  
Everyone nodded. In truth, some of them didn't understand at all, but figured he'd be getting to the point sooner or later.  
  
"Then the second stage begins. After the victim stops giving electricity to the slug, it secretes an enzyme which permeates the skin and is absorbed into the bloodstream. Eventually this enzyme runs into the brain, where it starts its work. It increases the bodies production of energy, stimulating the mitochondrion all throughout the victim. This makes sense. The creature needs electricity to live, therefore if its host isn't producing any, it either dies or has to find a new host. What doesn't make sense is the effect the enzyme has on the human brain. It afflicts certain brain centers, actually reducing the victim's ability to think. It increases the agressiveness of its host, and basically sends them on a killing rampage. 18 minutes after I attached it to snowball, he tried to rend his cage to pieces in order to bite me. This really doesn't make sense, as it doesn't benefit the slug at all, other than it assuring the host can't remove the little bugger. It suggests, unfortunately, that this creature was created solely as a weapon to make people violent and mindless." Seras shrugged his shoulders and took another swig of sake.  
  
Asuka was the first to recover from hearing it all. "Can this thing reproduce?"  
  
Seras shook his head. "The new enzyme completely sterilizes the slug, though other than that, there hasn't been any tampering with the reproductive system. This suggests that the effect wasn't intended, but the creator didn't really care. These things weren't meant to become a plague on the Earth that eliminates the human race, I'm sure."  
  
"A biological weapon." Kyle said solemnly.  
  
Tiro still didn't understand the whole thing, but ventured to ask the inevitable question anyway. "So... what are we gonna do about this?"  
  
"Well, first, we're going to launch a full investigation of Shiromir Industries. I'm positive it's no coincidence that all the victims so far have worked there." Asuka left the room quickly to get a phone.  
  
  
  
As soon as she left, Seras began tapping his now-empty sake bottle on the edge of the steel table to get everyone's attention again.  
  
"Uh, did any of you see what happened to the slug?" Seras was currently scanning the ground below him nervously, and his gloved hand was indeed empty.  
  
"EEK!! You mean that thing's crawling around in here?!" Junko scrambled onto the nearest bare lab table and started checking her legs.  
  
Everyone but Tiro immediately began searching the ground. Tiro would have been too, but he was currently engrossed in watching Junko run her hands over her thighs repeatedly. Thus it was that he didn't realize anything was wrong until he found that his legs no longer possessed the strength to hold up his body.  
  
"Argh! It got me!" *Crash* Tiro fell into one of the lab tables, showering himself with beakers and test tubes, and just barely managed to tear off part of his pant leg, exposing the vile creature.  
  
Ranma tried to move over to help him, but found his hands suddenly full when Sakura screamed at the sight and jumped into his arms.  
  
Kyle looked worriedly at Snake. "What should we do?"  
  
"GET IT OFF ME YOU DOLT!!!!" Tiro yelled with what was fast becoming the last of his strength.  
  
"All right, all right, you don't have to yell. I am your superior officer you know." Rather than stay conscious to listen to Kyle's lecture, Tiro opted to pass out instead.  
  
Seras walked up to his prone form and peeled the slug off his calf, returning it quickly to the electric sphere, where it flattened itself out again.  
  
Junko glared at Seras. "That thing is dangerous. Why don't we kill it?"  
  
Seras shrugged. "We need it. It's evidence. Not to mention a completely new biological life form. A lot of people are going to be very unhappy if we were to just kill it."  
  
"Uh, Sakura, you can let go now."  
  
Sakura opened her eyes to find herself staring into Ranma's deep blue eyes, cradled protectively in his strong, muscular arms, held only inches away from his face......  
  
"Hey sis, you okay? You're all red."  
  
Junko climbed off her table and snickered at the sight of Ranma holding her. "Hey, get a room, you two."  
  
Ranma just rolled his eyes as Sakura's blush deepened and she ejected herself from his arms.  
  
At that moment Ranma had a moment of insight. "Hey, does anyone know what Shiromir Industries does?"  
  
Snake blinked. "They make heavy machinery and do metalluragy research, as well as refining metal ores. Why?"  
  
Ranma nodded. "So they don't do anything that involves messing around with genetics or mutating stuff."  
  
Snake blinked again, as Ranma's case started to come into focus. "No... they don't......"  
  
Seras swung his bottle from side to side in thought. "Yes... Shiromir doesn't have the equipment or facilities to produce this level of genetic manipulation. And there's no way they could create or buy that stuff in secret."  
  
"Plus, why would they test it on their own employees?" Kyle queried.  
  
Everyone looked at him.  
  
"I think most of us were already wondering about that. Besides, it might have escaped or something." Snake said with a flat look.  
  
"Oh yeah. Heh." Kyle rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, then cleared his throat.  
  
"Well, I think we've all had a tough day so far, so why don't we all go home early!"  
  
Snake stared at him. "Can you do that?"  
  
"For all you know," Kyle muttered. "Anyway, who wants to stop by the bar? Drinks are on me!"  
  
Snake and Junko cheered. Tiro tried to cheer, but had only recently regained consciousness and was too weak. Ranma sighed and left for the locker room to change.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The apartment superintendent barely looked up to acknowledge Ranma's entry into the building, at least until a wooden board lightly brushed by his head. Startled out of his half-sleeping, the obese man was rather surprised to find Ranma heading up the stairs carrying a pile of lumber and several plastic bags.  
  
  
  
Ranma didn't bother to unlock or open the door, instead lightly tapping it with his foot. As expected, the door immediately fell to the ground, and Ranma merely walked in on top of it.  
  
Setting the wooden boards on the floor, Ranma emptied the bags, which held several tools, some paint, and an assortment of other building materials.  
  
"It's time to fix up this hellhole." Ranma said, determination oozing from his form as a blue aura enveloped him. Locating the nearest hole in the wall, he grabbed a board and went to work.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Sakura was quite surprised to see the state of the apartment building when she entered it. Looking around at the numerous broken light fixtures and shattered windows, she shuffled the bundle around in her arms to look at the slip of paper held tightly between her fingers.  
  
"Well, this is the place... Excuse me, sir?" Once again the superintendent was startled from his slumber, and was about to severely chastise the culprit, until he saw it was a woman. And a stunning one at that.  
  
"Er, hello there. What can I do for yez?" he said with a smile that was just a tad too friendly.  
  
"Yes, I'm trying to find someone's apartment? His name is Ranma, Ranma Saotome. Can you help me?"  
  
The man's smile only widened. "Yes, he's up there in #48. I'd better help you up there, though. The stairs 'aint as strong as they used to be."  
  
Sakura sweatdropped as the man tried to get up with obvious difficulty. "Uh, no, that's okay, really. I'm sure I'll be fine." She was quite certain that if what he said were true, she wouldn't survive the trip with his company.  
  
The superintendent shrugged, deciding it wasn't really worth the effort to stand up anyway. "Suit yourself."  
  
  
  
"#48. This is it." Suddenly overcome with an unreasonable nervousness, Sakura gulped and gave the door two light knocks.  
  
Or tried to give it two. After the first one the door fell down, hitting something on its trajectory to the carpet and leaving it standing up at an angle.  
  
"Ow! Damn it! I turn around for a second and the stupid door falls right down on top of me! Who was the jerk that built this dump in the first place?" Ranma angrily got up from under the door, and was about to stand it up again, when he saw Sakura standing in the hallway. He immediately began to worry, as she had turned red again and her heart seemed be racing.  
  
"Sakura? What are you doing here? Are you okay?"  
  
Sakura was okay, more or less, but found she had lost the ability to talk. Her condition had little to do with her physical health, however, and much more to do with the fact that Ranma wasn't wearing a shirt at the moment.  
  
Somehow she gathered enough her wits to shove the parcel in front of him. Swallowing the excess saliva that had gathered in her mouth, she managed to stutter "C-c-cookies."  
  
Ranma looked down at the basket, surprised. "Hey, thanks! Come on in if you want, but I'm afraid there's not much here right now."  
  
All at once she regained control of her body, and meekly stepped into the apartment.  
  
Ranma took some of the plastic wrapping off the basket, and then inspected the cookies. Life with Akane and Shampoo had always taught him to inspect offered food carefully before eating (or attempting to eat) it. The cookies were simple, shaped into little hearts with a layer of pink frosting. Ranma took one from the bunch and bit into it as he held the door up again.  
  
"Hey these are pretty good!" Ranma shot Sakura a smile before he put a hinge up to the doorframe, then started to wind in a screw.  
  
"R-r-really? D-do you think so? They're my own recipe......" Sakura suddenly had the urge to look anywhere but at Ranma (pleasing as it was staring at his muscled back) and only started to notice how run-down the place looked.  
  
"How can you live here? It looks awful!"  
  
Ranma grimaced after he finished securing the door, and opened and closed it a few times to make sure it was safe. "Yeah, it's bad, but hopefully I can get a new place in a few weeks. I'm lucky the DAPC pays so well. I used the last bit of money I had to buy all this stuff."  
  
Sakura blinked. "You used the last of your money?"  
  
Ranma sighed. "Yeah, it'll be tough, but at least I won't have the wind blowing away my sheet while I sleep."  
  
Sakura felt like crying for him as she looked at the numerous wooden boards nailed down over large holes in the plaster walls. "This is terrible! Do you even have any left for food?"  
  
Ranma nodded and stood up, getting ready to apply some electric tape to the nearly bare wire that ran from the ceiling to the light bulb. "I already thought of that. I have enough instant ramen to last a few days."  
  
He finished applying the tape and smiled at her. "Plus I have your cookies."  
  
Determination to help fought against shy embarrasment from Ranma's words. "Ranma... why don't you stay with me and Kyle? Until you're back on your feet?"  
  
Ranma was honestly surprised. Actual sympathy was something he encountered little of in his experiences. "No, it's all right. I've put up with worse."  
  
Sakura was convinced though. "Ranma, you can't live like this! Animals live like this! Most animals live better than this! Come stay with us!" She stared at him sternly with a look that dared him to argue.  
  
Then she realized who she was yelling at and why, and she immediately retreated back, blushing and twiddling her fingers. "I-I mean i-if you want to......" Sakura retreated further back and lowered her face, her blond hair showering over her face.  
  
Ranma was more confused than anything else from the whole display, only really understanding that she wanted him to stay with her and her brother. She also seemed quite determined on that point. Or at least she did. "Well, I mean, if you insist. But only until I can afford a better place, all right?" Ranma wanted to freeload as little as possible. After his "liberation" from his old life, he had decided to make it on his own, and that's just what he was going to do.  
  
"Really?" Sakura stood there stunned for a moment as Ranma put on his red Chinese style shirt and picked up his bags, packing up some of the more expensive tools in the process.  
  
"Well, lead the way!"  
  
"Uh, r-right." 'Gosh, it's warm in here! He must have done a better job with those holes than he thought.'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The superintendent was once more sleeping away the remainder of the day, and was once more interrupted from his rest, this time by a key lightly impacting his forehead and landing on his gut.  
  
Curious, he lifted up the key to find the number 48 clumsily embossed on it, and raised his head to see Ranma, bags in hand, following Sakura out the door.  
  
'Lucky bastard.' He thought to himself. Shooing away a fly and adjusting the cap which kept the sun out of his eyes, he prepared to drift once more into a deep slumber.  
  
  
  
It didn't happen though, as Ranma returned through the front door and kicked one the legs of his chair, causing the whole thing to collapse and spilling its occupant onto the floor.  
  
"That's for the damn bathroom! And lose some weight!!" Ranma then stormed out of the building, slamming the door hard enough to loosen a vital screw in a suspended light fixture. *Crash!* The janitor was soon out cold.  
  
Angry at the disturbance, a wrinkled old woman opened her door and yelled out into the hallway.  
  
"Hey, you stupid kids! Keep quiet out there! Rotten little terrors have no respect for the elderly..."  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Well, here's the second chapter. Kudos to those that sent me positive reinforcement (and didn't threaten me) after the first one. This turned out to be shorter than I thought... oh well.  
  
As for the whole "mutant slug" thing, it really doesn't sound as cool or exciting now as it did when I thought of it, but it's the only semi- original idea I've had so far (who wants to see Ranma fight Arigami? No one?). It'll get better. Really. Well, maybe not, but it can't get much worse, I promise. 


	3. The Slimy Menace

Guardian  
  
a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Standard disclaimer does not apply! Look at me! I'm using these characters without permission! And there's not a thing you or your sissy lawyers can do about it!! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The Slimy Menace  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Ranma was quite surprised to find that Kyle's place was much more than a simple apartment.  
  
It was a large two-story house, with a fairly large rock garden in the front and a carved oak porch surrounded by lush, healthy plants.  
  
  
  
"You live here?!" Ranma had thought that someone like Kyle would be doing just barely better than he was, not rolling around in luxury.  
  
Sakura blushed. "Yeah. Kyle does pretty well for himself, and our family's pretty big, so he bought a roomy place. We usually hold reuinions and stuff at his house." Shyly taking Ranma's arm again, Sakura led him into the .  
  
The inside was less impressive than the inside, having some plain furniture and a more homely feel to it. Ranma noted several trophies and certificates set up on a shelf against the far wall. In the same room was a fancy-looking parlor, with a large ring of bean bag chairs set up in a circle and an oak liquor cabinet and bar set up opposite a big-screen TV.  
  
'Hmph. And there I was living in a cockroach nest.'  
  
  
  
"Saotome?"  
  
Ranma and Sakura turned around to see Kyle standing there in a terry-cloth bath robe, looking rather surprised.  
  
Sakura flushed red again and pointed to Ranma. "Uh, hey, is it... okay if Ranma stays here for a while? Maybe just a week?" She immediately lowered her head and mentally prayed he wouldn't say no.  
  
Kyle stared at Sakura, then at Ranma, who scratched his head in embarrasment.  
  
"Heh, sorry about this. But my apartment was falling apart, and she insisted......"  
  
Kyle looked back at Sakura, then started speaking slowly. "Now... Sakura, you know that you're my sister, and I love you right? And that I'll support you no matter what, right? But I really think you should get to know Ranma a little better before you two start living together."  
  
Sakura frowned, then the implications of that statement hit. "NONONONONONONO!!!! It's not like that!!" Kyle blinked at the powerful denial. Ranma sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh. Then you're not... you know?"  
  
Ranma, for one, didn't know. "Huh? What are you talking about?"  
  
Sakura rushed in front of him and spread her arms out, as if protecting him from something. "No we're not! I'm just doing him a favor!"  
  
Kyle broke out into a smile and nodded. "All right then. Welcome aboard Saotome!"  
  
Ranma grinned and dropped his bag. "Thanks. I'll try not to be too much of a pain."  
  
Ranma headed upstairs with his bag, and Sakura sighed and flopped down on the couch.  
  
  
  
"So, are you two dating?" Kyle said cheerfully.  
  
"I said no!" Sakura replied in a nervous panic.  
  
Kyle blinked. "Well why not? I thought you had a thing for him."  
  
Sakura blushed and seemed to sink into the couch. "Who told you?"  
  
Kyle sweatdropped "It's kinda obvious."  
  
He stretched, then walked over to the bar and poured himself a cup of sake. "We had a helluva time at the bar. You shoulda been there." Kyle took a sip from the cup and then thought about his last statement. "Actually, it's probably better that you weren't. Tiro was hitting on everything female after just two drinks. Well, most of them were female. The odd thing is that he really didn't seem drunk..."  
  
Sakura sighed and mostly tuned out her brother, walking over and collapsing on one of the bean bag chairs in the parlor. Grabbing a remote control from under the couch, she turned on the TV.  
  
"Actually, we ran into Tycho while we were there. He seemed pretty bitter about the suspension, but he drank it off. Junko even volunteered to take him home to cheer him up."  
  
"That was nice of her," Sakura answered lazily, flipping through the channels.  
  
*That's right! I said you can't have her!* *Click* *Kusanagi! NOOOOOOOOO!!!* *Click* *So you say you're a crazed, pedophilic, half demon?* *That's right Jerry, I-* *Click* *In the name of the moon, I will punish you!* *Click*  
  
Settling on a news channel, Sakura squirmed deeper into the bean bag chair. "Kyle, could you hand me a soda please?"  
  
Kyle tossed her one, then poured himself some wine.  
  
*We're here with vice president of Wraith Labs Inc., Mrs. Alex Tokima. Mrs. Tokima, despite your company's plunging profits and recent problems concerning product development, management, and the fines due to your previously unrecorded pollution control discrepencies, Wraith Labs has managed to not only avoid bankruptcy and the predicted takeover by Shiromir Industries, but also to hold a steady stock price. How is this possible?*  
  
Mrs. Tokima, a fabulously stunning woman by any standards, turned toward the camera, her shiny brown hair flowing behind her and cascading down over one emerald eye. *Wraith Labs attributes its success to excellent executive management and resource distribution. Beyond that, I suppose you could call it luck.* Her voice was like velvet, and several of the men in the background were visibly trembling as she spoke.  
  
"*Sigh* I wish I had a body like that." Sakura was hardly listening to what they were talking about.  
  
"But you do! Except her chest is bigger. And her thighs aren't quite as big. And also her hair is-*bang*." Kyle rubbed the spot on his forehead where the empty soda can hit. "What'd I say?"  
  
Sakura just sighed as the woman walked off camera, leaving a trail of highly aroused men in her wake. 'Cripes, half those guys look like they're having seizures! How does she walk like that and keep her balance?'  
  
*We wished we could have gotten further commentary on the subject, but Wraith's top managers seem to be in the dark about how they're still making money, and we couldn't contact anyone above the vice president. However they're still afloat, Wraith Labs is certainly making the most out of its current and temporary state of financial health.*  
  
Kyle sipped some wine and fell back into a bean chair. "Probably something illegal."  
  
Sakura nodded. "That's what they seem to be hinting at. Didn't they dump chemicals into the lake a few months ago?"  
  
Kyle shrugged. "I think Wraith was the one. They paid for it big time though. A quarter of their staff was either arrested or laid off in the aftermath."  
  
*Many protesters can even now be found outside WLI headquarters, protesting the company's continued use of older, polluting production methods, use of test animals, and DNA manipulation experiments. But despite the questionable ethics of their company, Wraith Labs Incorporated has always served Japan to a great extent since its founding in 1987, providing us with many of the vital chemical products that we use each day. Despite this, people continue to fight against this industrial juggernaut, and it appears that it may be ripe for a fall. Ma'am, what brings you to the battle against WLI?*  
  
*These bastards dumped toxic chemicals in a public lake! My son was sick for nearly a month! I won't stop until I see this place burned to the ground!*  
  
Sakura sniffed. "That's horrible! How could they do that?"  
  
Kyle sighed. "Some of these people will do anything for money. Dumping stuff safely is expensive."  
  
*Ma'am, what about you?*  
  
*These people use rabbits and monkeys for their hideous tests! Do you know how many dead animals come out of these laboratories each year? Over 2000!! How many more creatures have to die before they come up with safer testing methods?! It's inhuman!!*  
  
Sakura looked like she was ready to start crying. "That's so cruel......"  
  
Kyle quickly handed her a tissue, which she quickly put to good use.  
  
*What about you sir? Why have you joined the protest?*  
  
*I'm protesting these guys' abuse of animals! Fur is murder!*  
  
The reporter sweatdropped. *Sir, Wraith Labs doesn't make furs. The animals are killed through chemical experimentation.*  
  
*What? Oh! I don't have anything against that! I'm outta here!*  
  
Dropping his sign, the man rushed to his car and sped away. The reporter's sweatdrop grew.  
  
*Well, despite the company's recovery, the war against it rages , and not just on this level. Many rival companies have sought to take over WLI's considerable assets ever since the company has began its slow but sure collapse into debt. Shiromir Industries was the first to take agressive action against WLI in an attempt to leverage their technologies and broaden their industry. And for a long time, it appeared that Shiromir would succeed. In the end, however Wraith Labs had an unexpected stock- price jump, and managed to stave off its prospective buyers. In other news- * *Click*  
  
Sakura finished blowing her nose, then tossed the remote onto one of the nearby chairs.  
  
"Well, that was depressing. I'm going to bed now, okay? We have to get to work tommorrow." Sakura yawned and stood up.  
  
As she walked to the stairs, Kyle suddenly grinned and called out to her. "And don't go sneaking into Saotome's room and seducing him or nothing, got it?"  
  
"ACK!!" Sakura tripped over her own feet in shock, banging her head on one of the steps. Flushing red from anger and embarrassment, she stood up, stalked back to her room and slammed the door.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
'Well, all things considered, it's nice to finally take a hot bath again.'  
  
Ranma gave a contented sigh as he sank slightly deeper into the hot water. He hadn't been able to take a bath in a nice, big furo like this since...  
  
'Since I left the dojo. Geez, has it been that long? I guess so.' They had only had small showers at the academies, and the public baths didn't count, since they were never so relaxing.  
  
'But everything's changed now. It's not about martial arts or honor, or fiancees, or dojos.'  
  
Sighing to himself, and running a million questions without answers in his brain, Ranma stepped out of the furo to retrieve his towel hanging on the hook on the door.  
  
Call it fate, call it luck (whether bad or good is up to you), call it a conspiracy of the Gods if you want, but it was at that very moment when Sakura opened the door and walked in, naked as the day she was born with her towel hanging over her arm.  
  
Eye contact was made. Both of them froze like deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.  
  
Sakura's towel slowly slipped off her arm, and a deep blush creeped over her face. At the moment a million things were racing through her mind, all of them embarrassing and many of them none too clean.  
  
Ranma didn't share her look of panic and surprise, but did share her mental state somewhat. The difference was that his mental functions were mostly geared towards self-preservation. The part of his mind accustomed to Akane's frequent temper tantrums strongly suggested running for his life. Another part that saw Sakura as more rational than that said that apologizing might help. Another was trying to at least get him to turn around instead of just staring at her.  
  
Eventually, Ranma just did what he always did. Pushing rational thought aside, he said the first thing that came to mind.  
  
"Whoa. De`ja vu." It wasn't the most tactful of the options available, but it worked.  
  
Sakura snapped out her frozen state, "eeped", then beat a hasty retreat into the changing room.  
  
Ranma blinked, gave a heavy sigh, then took his towel and started to dry off.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Kyle was heading up the stairs, ready to take his own shower, when the changing room door opened and Ranma and Sakura stepped out. Though fully clothed, both were blushing heavily and seemed extremely nervous.  
  
"I mean, as long as you're not mad or anything..." Ranma trailed off, unsure of what to say. He may have been spared the pain of a good malleting, but at least then he usually didn't have to deal with it later.  
  
Sakura shook her head quickly. "No, it's all right. What happened happened, and it really was my fault anyway."  
  
Ranma gave her a slight smile and she shied away from him. 'Man, if only Akane was ever that reasonable...' feeling himself going into depression again, Ranma looked up to see Kyle standing in front of them, looking back and forth between them both.  
  
Kyle eventually focused on Sakura and frowned. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't seduce him."  
  
Ranma blinked. "Huh?"  
  
Sakura panicked again. "BROTHER!!! Nothing happened!! I-I just w-walked in on him when he was in the furo, and-"  
  
Kyle crossed his arms over his chest. "So now do we have to make rules about peeping too?"  
  
Sakura slapped her forehead and whimpered.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Hey, Kyle, it was an accident, all right? It's fine." casting a quick glance around, Ranma walked back to his temporary room and shut the door.  
  
  
  
"Well, that could've gone worse." Ranma sighed to himself. The first day he had stayed here, and already he was causing trouble.  
  
Ranma changed his shirt and then slipped on his black boots. 'Well, at least things can't get much worse.'  
  
*Rumble* *Boom!*  
  
Ranma flinched from the sudden sense of dread that filled him.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Rumble* *Boom!*  
  
"That's funny. There isn't a cloud in the sky. Hmm." Shrugging to herself, Sakura continued chopping up the fish for her special omellette.  
  
Cooking had always been sort of a sore spot for the entire Tekai family. Utter clumsiness seemed to run in the family, or at least the female half, and up until she was 16 she had nearly butchered her hands whenever she picked up a kitchen knife. Accidents still happened, of course, but at least she no longer spent a fortune on band-aids.  
  
*Sizzle*  
  
"Huh? Oh no! I set the stove temperature too high!" Rushing over to the stove and dropping the knife, she just barely managed to flip the eggs before one side burnt. While she had eventually become a half-way competent cook through lessons and lots of practice, she could only make a few specialty dishes really well.  
  
Hearing footsteps behind her as she panicked over the stove, Sakura decided to recruit some help to save her breakfast. "Kyle? Could you please chop the fish while I take care of these eggs?"  
  
Ranma looked at the cutting board and the knife that lay haphazardly next to it. He wasn't Kyle, but he figured he should still help out.  
  
Sighing in relief, Sakura set the eggs back on the stove, then turned around to see Ranma quickly dicing the fish filet into perfect little squares. She would have stopped him and done it herself, since he was a guest, but found herself in awe of his mastery with the knife. In no time the fish was reduced to small cubes, and Ranma had started on the vegetables.  
  
"Hey, wanna see something cool?" Ranma grinned slightly, and Sakura nodded.  
  
Then her eyes widened as Ranma tossed the entire plate of chives and onions upwards, making quick cuts through the air. Grabbing a nearby plate, Ranma turned around with a flourish and let the perfectly chopped vegetables fall into neat piles onto the plate.  
  
"Wow... I wish I could do that!" Sakura was almost swooning 'He can even cook!'  
  
Ranma set down the plate and then smiled. "Well, I could teach ya if you want."  
  
She immediately went starry eyed. "Oh, would you?"  
  
Ranma's mouth quickly ran ahead of him. "Well, we'll have to do some hard training to get your coordination right, since you're pretty clumsy......"  
  
Sakura flinched at his words, then sighed as she realized he was absolutely right. "What kind of training?"  
  
Ranma's mind was slightly disoriented from lack of a punch or mallet strike to terminate the need for further conversation, but it managed to compensate. "Martial arts training, I think. I was gonna drag Tiro over to the training room at headquarters and teach him a few moves. You can come if you want. I'm sure he won't mind." Ranma didn't add that it would probably be Tiro's only incentive to go.  
  
Sakura nodded happily, then sniffed the air. "Hm? Something's burning...... AH!! My eggs!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Breakfast had been mostly a chain of disasters, but the omellettes had survived, and were even edible.  
  
At Kyle's insistence they had left for the DAPC compound early, so that the Luietenant could check on Ranma and Sakura's accuracy.  
  
  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* "Hey, these things aren't half bad." Ranma found that Snake's guns had less recoil and a higher rate of fire than most of the guns he had used during training. While he typically didn't use weapons, especially not guns, it was nice to know that they were at least of a high quality.  
  
Kyle was impressed. "Two bullseyes. Man, is there anything you can't do?"  
  
Ranma just smiled and shrugged, placing the modified pistol back on the weapons shelf.  
  
Kyle gestured over to Sakura, who looked nowhere near as confident as Ranma was. "Alright sis, two shots, take your time."  
  
Sakura gulped, then raised the pistol to shoulder level. *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
Kyle sweatdropped. "Um, it might help if you didn't close your eyes right before you fire."  
  
Sakura opened her eyes to see two blackened streaks on the left wall that seperated the different shooting alleys, with two bullets lying on the ground 10 feet in front of the target.  
  
"Awwww, I didn't even come close......" she sniffed and slowly fell into a nearby chair.  
  
Ranma and Kyle tried to think of something comforting to say, but each had other thoughts on their mind.  
  
'Wow. That's the first time the bullet hasn't even made it to the end of the range!'  
  
'If her grip on that gun had been any worse, she would've shot herself!'  
  
"Uh, that's okay sis. You have, you know, other skills to fall back on."  
  
"Er, yeah. You're a healer, not a fighter. And that's all right, you know?"  
  
Sakura sniffed again, happily this time, and embraced both of the men in a big hug. "Thanks you guys."  
  
  
  
Ranma disengaged himself and was leaving the range, when a hand snaked out to grab him.  
  
Instead, Ranma grabbed the hand, then slammed its owner into the opposite wall.  
  
"Owwwwwww......" Tiro groaned.  
  
Ranma blinked, then peeled him out of the Tiro-shaped indentation in the hardened steel wall. "Hey Yamazaki, what's up?"  
  
Almost instantly he recovered, and gave Ranma a playful punch in the shoulder (making it very light, so as not to prompt a counter-attack). "You dog! I heard all about it! So, you stayin' with Sakura? Huh? Huh?"  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes, then sighed. "Yes, I'm staying with Sakura and her brother. If you mention it again, I'll break you in two."  
  
Tiro opened his mouth to say something, but then what Ranma said registered and it clamped shut.  
  
Ranma led Tiro into the cafeteria room and pured himself a soda. "So, I hear you ran into Tycho last night."  
  
Tiro laughed, and grabbed a beer. "Yeah, he was drinking like there was no tommorrow. Then Junko saw him and decided to 'cheer him up', if you catch my drift. Heh, the lucky jerk."  
  
Ranma grinned. "That's nice. What'd she do?"  
  
Tiro blinked. "Huh?"  
  
Ranma gestured for him to finish. "You know, to cheer him up?"  
  
Tiro stared at him for a long moment before speaking. "How can somebody that's seems so smart sometimes be so thick?" Shaking his head sadly, Tiro walked over to the cafeteria door, leaving a baffled Ranma behind.  
  
The second he reached for the knob the door opened, smashing him in the face and tossing him across the room in considerable pain.  
  
Asuka burst into the break room, took one look at Tiro, then spoke. "This is no time for naps! We're on call! Yamazaki, get off your ass and suit up! Saotome, you'll head out with me, Sakura, and Kyle! Come on! Move it!!"  
  
Ranma and Tiro merely stood there, and Asuka started to turn red from frustration.  
  
"Uh, what's going on? Is Godzilla attacking or something?"  
  
"I think you should calm down a little, Captain. All that stress isn't good for you."  
  
Asuka glared at the two men, then took a deep breath.  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP AND MOVE IT!!!!"  
  
"Ma'am! Yes ma'am!!" Tiro made a beeline for the locker rooms while Ranma ducked through the doorway and sprinted to the garage.  
  
  
  
"Kami, she's scarier than Akane ever was! I think my ears are shot......" spotting Kyle leaning on one of the police cars, Ranma hurried over and ducked into one of the back seats.  
  
Seating himself next to Sakura, Ranma glanced back out of the doorway to see Asuka rushing to the car through the hallway.  
  
"So, anyone mind telling me what this is all about?"  
  
Asuka shoved Kyle into the passenger side and then took the wheel, speeding the car out of the garage. "It's Shiromir Industries' newest office building downtown. Sixteen minutes ago a pedestrian reported a disturbance at the building. Seven minutes later a police unit reported the disturbance to be several Shiromir employees acting abnormally in a strange, zombie-like state. SWAT teams have been dispatched and have managed to quarantine the building, but several employees were shot to death before the order to knock them out instead was released. We've been asked to clear the building."  
  
Kyle nodded solemnly. "Right. So what's wrong with all the employees?"  
  
Ranma and Sakura sweatdropped. A vein popped out on the side of Asuka's head. "Have you forgotten about those slugs already? What's wrong with you?!"  
  
Kyle blinked, then snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah! So you think they're responsible?"  
  
Asuka growled, but said nothing.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma stepped out of the car and onto the hot, hard pavement of the sidewalk.  
  
'This place looks like the day after a war.' And it was true. The office building, once a proud, towering monument to the might of one of Japan's biggest companies had been reduced to little more than a towering wreck, with bullet holes and blood decorating the lower walls, and nearly every window shattered. Near the base of the skyscraper lay 6 dead bodies, with several medics packing them into body bags.  
  
"Geez..." Ranma focused on something else to rid himself of his sudden depression. This was no time to start acting like P-chan. Glancing at one of the windows, he blinked as he saw a figure stumble inside the room, then walk out of view.  
  
  
  
Asuka walked up to the man directing the SWAT team and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned towards her, and she quickly saluted. "Ms. Takami of the DAPC sir. May I ask what the current situation is?"  
  
The man stared at her and then rolled his eyes. "Great. Just great. We've got a 'Night of the Living Dead' crisis over here and they respond by sending in bulk rate rookies."  
  
Asuka's left eye started to twitch, and she forcibly restrained herself from doing anything she might regret later. "The situation, SIR?"  
  
The commander sighed and responded in a tone usually reserved for speaking to little kids and the mentally challenged. "We've managed to lock down the building, but we've already had to take down a few of the employees that made it out. You were right about those slugs though. We've managed to save a few by subduing them and removing the little bastards, but I nearly lost a guy already and I'm not about to sacrifice my men for a bunch of freakin' zombies. Right now we're waiting for the order to move in."  
  
Asuka nodded. "You won't be. The DAPC will handle whatever's inside. If any more of these guys come through, try and knock them out with whatever means available."  
  
The commander grunted. "Easier said than done. Tear gas doesn't even bother these creeps." He looked down at her and grinned. "So, I suppose you'll want a few of my guys to baby-sit, huh?"  
  
Asuka let out a low growl. 'Must... control... fist... of... death...'  
  
"Nah, we won't be needing any help." Both the commander and Asuka turned around to see Ranma walking towards them. Kyle and Sakura were further behind, observing a plastic bucket full of the strange black creatures.  
  
"Excuse me?" The commander raised an eyebrow. "You're going to take out all those weirdos with four men?" His voice held just a slight note of skepticism. Then he burst out laughing.  
  
  
  
Ranma ignored him and gestured Asuka over to where Kyle was holding one of the slugs, much to Sakura's distress.  
  
"Alright, I figure we can pull this off right now. Me and Asuka will go through the third-story window and work our way down, while you guys enter here and work your way up. I talked to one of the guys on the stretcher and he said that most of the employees had collected on the first three floors. If we can kill all the slugs on those levels, these guys should be able to handle the rest without our help."  
  
"We never needed your help in the first place, losers!" There was a round of laughter amongst the SWAT units.  
  
Ignoring them, Asuka glared at Ranma. "So, what? We're exterminaters now? How are we even supposed to take out that many people without killing them anyway?"  
  
Ranma sighed. "I can take care of it. Kyle can use that bolter thing that Snake gave Sakura, since Snake said it's not lethal. C'mon Asuka, let's go."  
  
Ranma was about to leave toward the building, when Asuka grabbed the back of his shirt. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm the Captain here! And your plan is ridiculous!"  
  
Kyle snapped a cartridge into the bolter and then tapped her on the shoulder. "I think it's a good plan."  
  
Asuka was about to comment on her doubt that he could think, when she found herself hoisted up into a pair of strong arms and was airborne.  
  
  
  
Ranma winced as Asuka screamed into his ear and then grabbed him tightly. Though she effectively cut off his air supply with her grip, he was able to get a better hold on the window sill with a free hand, hoisting them both into the building.  
  
Sakura and Kyle stared as Ranma jumped into the window with Asuka in her arms.  
  
"Nice jump." Kyle released the safety on the rifle and charged it.  
  
"It's not fair! How come she gets to go with him?" Sakura pouted and followed Kyle as the barriers to doorways were removed.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma deposited Asuka on the ground as he swung into the window, coughing and trying to catch his breath. He recovered quickly, and looked over to Asuka who was kneeling on the ground shaking slightly.  
  
"Hey Captain, you okay?" Ranma took a few steps forward, and then his vision exploded into stars and pretty lights as Asuka drove an uppercut into his jaw. Ranma went reeling, then gulped as Asuka pinned him with a furious glare.  
  
"DON'T... YOU... EVER... DO... THAT... AGAIN!" Her body was encompassed with a halo of red, and Ranma tried to back further into the wall.  
  
"Okay! Okay! Won't do it again! Never! Really!" Ranma let out breath he didn't realize he was holding as Asuka's battle aura disappeared, and her breathing wasn't so labored.  
  
"Just what did you think you were doing?!?! I don't like heights!!" Asuka's glare intensified, and Ranma chuckled nervously.  
  
"S-sorry. I should have asked you first. Uh, so now what?"  
  
Asuka backed up a little, but never tore her deadly gaze from Ranma's eyes. "It's your plan, rookie. What do you suggest?" She challenged him, and her expression slowly grew to a smirk.  
  
Ranma coughed and pointed behind her. "Well, for starters, we should knock out the guys behind you."  
  
Asuka only had time to mutter "Huh?" before she was tackled from behind by two unhealthy-looking office workers.  
  
Ranma winced as Asuka screamed, and then kicked the top guy off of her, sending him flying back into one of the stainless steel desks haphazardly littering the room. He was about to forcibly remove the second attacker when he got a look at him. Rather than a single splotch of black flattened against his skin, this man had several clinging to his body, and was convulsing and trembling rapidly even as he tried to assault the police captain.  
  
Asuka noticed too, because several of the slugs had sensed a new body and were wriggling toward her.  
  
"Ranma! Get him off of me!" Asuka screamed and grabbed onto his leg, and Ranma rolled his eyes.  
  
"Just hold on, will ya?" Ranma quickly went over the man's body and removed each slug (opting to first remove the ones crawling toward Asuka), tossing them casually into a nearby garbage can. Before he was finished the other worker attacked him again, and was consequently tossed into a cubicle.  
  
Asuka swore under her breath as she struggled against the creature/man that was still on top of her. Though his punches were so clumsy and spasmic that they caused no damage, it was still gross to have a man covered with gastropods feeling you up. If she wasn't certain that he wasn't in his proper state of mind, she would have slapped the jerk.  
  
Ranma patted his hand down the insane worker's back, even as his clumsy attacks started to slow down even more. Satisfied that he had gotten rid of all the parasites, Ranma picked the man off of Asuka and tossed him across the room.  
  
"Well it's about freaking time!! What took you so long?!" Asuka might not have shown it very well, but she was grateful. Which was the only thing that was keeping Ranma employed.  
  
Asuka eventually broke off her glare to check herself over for slugs, and Ranma headed into the nearby cubicle to take care of the second man.  
  
*Pow* "Now hold on, I just gotta get rid of this little guy here... there!" *Crash* The office worker went flying through the cubicle wall, and gave a groan as he collapsed into the opposite wall.  
  
Asuka nodded. "Good. Now let's hurry up and meet up with the blunder twins." Ranma was about to question the Captain's nickname for the Tekais when she abruptly left the room, then ran back into the office in a panic.  
  
"Uh, Saotome, why don't you go first?" She smiled nervously. Ranma rolled his eyes and headed into the hallway. The sounds of violence followed.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Thoom!* "All right, this thing works great!" Kyle grinned and watched as another office worker hit the ground, paralyzed.  
  
Sakura walked behind him, avoiding the unconscious bodies and looking quite calm for someone in her position. "I wonder why other departments aren't using that gun? It's effective and doesn't really hurt anybody."  
  
Kyle shook his head at her innocent naievette. "Sis, there are some times when it is simply best just to kill the other guy. Stunner bolts and tranquilizer darts will never replace good 'ol lead." Kyle sighed wistfully before blasting a body that was still twitching. "Besides, these things are experimental. They're barely safe!"  
  
Sakura sweatdropped, then shrugged and followed her brother down the hall, stepping over the felled office worker.  
  
  
  
Sakura was still walking, and contemplating the reality of hunting zombies (or near-zombies) in an abandoned office building, when she bumped into Kyle, who had stopped just before the a 90-degree corner.  
  
Kyle shushed his sister with a noise and a hand gesture, then looked at the opposite wall, waiting for his enemy to appear. When none did, he held up his palm to Sakura, then rolled out into the next segment of hallway... and right into the opposite wall.  
  
"Kyle! Are you alright?" Sakura rushed out to help him, and helped him get off his head.  
  
Asuka stared for a moment, then spoke to Ranma. "This is exactly why I said he shouldn't be promoted when his paperwork came through."  
  
Ranma just sweatdropped. He'd been doing that a lot lately.  
  
Kyle got up off the floor and smiled. "Saotome! You all right?"  
  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. Looks like we're done here. Hey, Sakura, what's wrong?"  
  
Asuka and Kyle both looked at Sakura after Ranma's question. She was pale and shaky, and her eyes were wide and seemed glued to a point behind Ranma. Kyle was immediately worried, and grabbed her shoulder.  
  
"Sis? Are you okay? You didn't pick up one of those slugs, did you?" Kyle held her hand supportively and began looking her over when she quickly shook her head no.  
  
Asuka scratched her head. "Then what's wrong?"  
  
  
  
Asuka's question was answered not by Sakura, but by an inhuman growl behind them. It was deep and throaty, but too high-pitched to be a dog. They all turned around.  
  
Asuka and Kyle's expressions changed to match Sakura's. Ranma's eyes widened, though the sight even made him a little queasy.  
  
Ranma imagined that at one point it had been human, though now it was little more than rubbery skin stretched over a humanoid skeleton. It had no eyes, no nose, no ears, and no hair, and was also devoid of *ahem* gender-specific organs. What was really nauseating, though, was the way that it was covered with the strange black parasites, some of them having grown into snake-like tentacles, writhing around the deathly slim body and burrowing through the skin. The creature's skin bulged and pulsed, like it was covered with huge, breathing welts. Only the lack of any blood kept many there from losing their breakfast.  
  
The grotesque creature let out another low growl, and started stalking towards the small group.  
  
Asuka was one step away from screaming. "Wh-what the hell is that?!"  
  
Kyle grimaced and tossed Sakura's bolter to the side, pulling out an automatic rifle strapped to his back. "Whatever it is, it isn't friendly!"  
  
Ranma and Asuka pulled out their weapons as Kyle released the safety on his rifle. Before they could fire, however, their target raised one of its arms, and it inflated and burst like a water balloon, spewing black slugs in a thick, slimy spray.  
  
Sakura and Asuka screamed and fell onto the ground trying to remove the biological weapons. Kyle gave a quick wipe over his face using his sleeve, trying to at least clear his vision. Ranma had slapped each of the living projectiles out of the air before they could reach him, and opened fire with his rail gun.  
  
The monster let out a screech as the metal spikes pierced its skin, blowing bone and black ooze out its back. Kyle followed suit, and soon the vile thing was being torn apart.  
  
Ranma and Kyle were concentrating hard enough on their aiming, that neither noticed when two long black tentacles burst out of what was left of its chest, until their guns had been grabbed and thrown down the hall.  
  
"How... how can that thing still move?" Kyle could only stare at the monster, or what was left of it, as it continued to advance on them. Most of its skull had been blasted away, along with the entire left side of its body, and its pelvis was leaking a waterfall of black slime. Kyle was still gaping when his legs went numb. "Dammit!!" Kyle yanked up his pant legs, trying to locate the parasite responsible.  
  
Asuka was witness to all of this, and managed to get up off the ground and open fire.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* The bullets either missed or passed right through the creature without any ill effect however, and ultimately served to attract its attention. Its remaining arm swelled up, and it pointed towards Asuka.  
  
"Look out! Mouko Takabisha!!" Asuka ducked as the ball of energy slammed into its target, and the creature disappeared within the light of the explosion.  
  
  
  
Ranma sighed in relief and lowered his hands. Nothing remained of the monster except charred debris.  
  
Asuka likewise got up and stared at the massive hole in the opposite wall as she collected her gun. "What the hell was that? ..... And what did you do to it?"  
  
Kyle had managed to locate the slug on his leg and threw it away in disgust as he lay on the ground exhausted. "That was gross. Stupid leeches."  
  
"Slugs," Ranma glared at Kyle.  
  
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Shut up, both of you. That's an order."  
  
"Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" Everyone's attention was brought to Sakura, who was still screaming and trying to remove a particulalry resilient parasite clinging to her hair, even as she shook her head back and forth wildly.  
  
Kyle sweatdropped and looked at Ranma. Asuka just looked at him and sat back down.  
  
Ranma sighed and grabbed Sakura's shoulder as she passed by again, holding her firmly but gently until he could slide the vile creature out of her long golden mane.  
  
"There you go, it's gone now-*glomp*-erk!" Ranma started having Nerima flashbacks as Sakura commenced a death grip on his torso, sobbing heavily into his chest.  
  
"Hey, cut that out,"Asuka said, annoyed. What was wrong with that girl?  
  
Sakura didn't listen, and only tightened her hold on Ranma's waist as she cried softly into his armor.  
  
Ranma looked at the others helplessly.  
  
Kyle felt an overwhelming urge to say something. "So......... lunch's on me!"  
  
He meant well, but somehow they didn't seem to appreciate the thought.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The SWAT team was understandably surprised when Snake, Tiro, and Junko showed up in an armored van full of enough explosives to level the entire block, not to mention the building. Naturally, the first thing they did was attempt to search and confiscate the weapons in the van, despite the fact that they obviously belonged to the DAPC.  
  
Unfortunately for the SWAT captain, Snake seemed to take the comment "There's no way were going to let a few scrubs from the DA carry around hardware like this" personally.  
  
When Asuka, Ranma, Kyle, and Sakura (still clinging to Ranma's arm) exited the building, the police captain was forced to physically restrain Snake from placing explosives on the SWAT teams' vehicles (and the SWAT team itself, though he might have been joking about that).  
  
  
  
"Why that no good, slimy, arrogant sonuva-I oughta blow up their whole unit!!" Asuka sighed at Snake's ranting as she carted another box of plastic explosives back to the van.  
  
"Yes, yes, he's a real jerk. But we really didn't need this much firepower! You probably look like some kind of terrorist with all this stuff." She dumped the cart into the back and closed the back gently, so as not to trigger an explosion.  
  
"Sakura! Are you okay? They didn't get you did they?" Tiro looked on with concern and no small measure of annoyance as Sakura merely sniffled and leaned into Ranma's shoulder more. She hadn't spoken since the trio had left the building, and seemed visibly disturbed. Ranma too, but that more to do with Sakura clinging to him the whole time.  
  
"She-she's fine, just a little shaken up. I think I'd better take her home. Tell Kyle, all right?" Tiro watched passively as Ranma left among the numerous police cars and ambulances, gently leading Sakura along with him.  
  
'Dammit, why does he get all the luck?' Tiro swore to himself.  
  
"Yamazaki! Come on! We need help toting the unconscious bodies out of the building!"  
  
Allowing a rather overdramatic tear to slide down his cheek, Tiro turned away to help his commander.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Kyle stepped into his home warily, looking back and forth as soon as he passed the threshold. He was particulalry nervous tonight, because instead of going out to the bars to celebrate the successful campaign with brain- killing alcohol, he instead had to endure a full hour of hearing Asuka rave about how incompetent and irresponsible Saotome was.  
  
'I thought he did a good job. Hmmm...' Deciding that stealth was uncalled for at this point, Kyle risked calling out. "Hey, Sakura? You home sis?"  
  
Venturing into the living room, he found Sakura sitting up on the couch, wrapped in a thick blanket up to her chin. She looked at him passively and sighed.  
  
"Hey, are you all right?" Kyle sat down next to her, and she took the opportunity to lean against his shoulder.  
  
She sighed again. "Yeah, I'm okay... I just-...... that thing was...... ugh." She shuddered mightily, and Kyle gave her a gentle hug.  
  
"It's all right. It's dead now. Very dead. We had to collect our DNA sample of it from a bit of charred bone that we shot off of it earlier."  
  
"Yeah... but just the thought of it... and if it had gotten us... we would've been like those others..." she shut her eyes tight and fell back against the couch.  
  
Kyle sighed. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna have trouble sleeping myself. It's a damn good thing Saotome was there. And what he did... that thing with his hands... anyway, we owe him one."  
  
  
  
Kyle hopped off the couch and stretched. "Well, I'm goin' to bed now. Turn in when you're ready, or you can just crash there."  
  
Sakura nodded absently, and curled more tightily into her blanket.  
  
Kyle stopped halfway up the stairs and called back to her. "And remember, no seducing the guests!"  
  
*Crash* Sakura growled as she stood up from her facefault, but Kyle had already retreated to his room and was beyond retribution.  
  
Sakura's annoyed expression turned depressed, and she stared at the wall wistfully.  
  
'Ranma......'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma was having a good dream. It was the sort of dream that most people only have when either severely drunk or extremely hungry. Namely, it was jumping into a huge mountain of food. There wasn't much to it other than that, except that Kenji, Ryoga, and Genma were all hung upside down strung up by chains just out of reach of the food, with Tiro nearby guarding them while reading an adult magazine.  
  
In what most people regretfully know as the "real world" Ranma was merely sleeping peacefully on his futon, totally unaware of the door to the guest room opening and quietly closing.  
  
  
  
Sakura nervously stood next to his futon, clad in baggy pink pajamas. She silently kneeled down next to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest under the blanket.  
  
'He looks so peaceful... so calm...' she sighed and moved closer to him.  
  
"Ranma... Ranma?" she whispered into his ear.  
  
  
  
"Ranma... Ranma?"  
  
"Huh? What?" Ranma finished off his drumstick, then looked around in the small dream world.  
  
"Ranma......" Ranma looked around some more, before shrugging and devouring a rack of pork ribs.  
  
"Hey Ranma!" Ranma jumped, then yelled to Tiro.  
  
"You call me?"  
  
Tiro didn't look up. "Nah, someone's trying to wake you up."  
  
Ranma blinked. "Oh." He leaned back onto his throne of grape vines and rooted around in one of the armrests for an apple or pork bun.  
  
  
  
"Ranma!" "WAUGH!!"  
  
Ranma shot upright as Sakura forced one of his eyelids open, knocking into her. Sakura, surprised and clumsy as she was, grabbed onto him to keep her balance, only to get her legs tangled in his and cause them both to fall over.  
  
This left Ranma in the both envious and awkward position of being straddled on his back with his face planted between Sakura's breasts. Briefly a thought passed as to what Happousai would give to be him. That line of thinking was soon replaced.  
  
'Don't move... don't talk... don't breathe... if you stay absolutely still, she might not notice you. Yeah, that's it...'  
  
"Oof... what happened? EEP!!" Looking down, and realizing her current position, she jumped up and scrambled to the other side of the room, red as a cherry.  
  
Ranma slowly sat up, ever so careful as to keep his mouth in check. Sakura had proven to be reasonable so far, but he had had too much experience with angered females in the past to risk pushing her, especially when he needed the place to stay.  
  
"So...... um, what'cha doin' here?" Ranma asked slowly, deciding that it was best to pretend like nothing had ever happened.  
  
Sakura apparently thought the same thing, and started to calm down. "Well, I, uh, just wanted to talk to you..."  
  
Ranma nodded, and Sakura scooted over to him.  
  
He smiled. "Well, I'm glad to see you're feeling better. You were pretty freaked out."  
  
Sakura blushed, and lowered her head. "Yeah... Ranma... I just don't know what I'm going to do..."  
  
He blinked. "Huh?"  
  
"Back in the building... you were so brave, and so strong... stronger than I could ever be... and then you helped me when I broke down..."  
  
He sweatdropped. All he remembered was pulling the slug out of her hair and then taking her home when she refused to let go of him.  
  
"I humiliated myself while you fought. Maybe I'm just not cut out for police work..."  
  
Now Ranma was sweating. He was quite aware that talking, or any kind of communication for that matter, was not his strong point. If he tried to reassure her and ended up insulting her, then she'd get angry and throw him out, or even worse, take it seriously and decide to give up.  
  
"Well, uh, why did you choose police work?" he winced as he realized that could have been taken as an agreement with what she had said.  
  
Luckily she took it as an honest question. "Well, before, when I was working in a hospital as an apprentice nurse, I never did very well because I fall apart at the sight of a lot of blood. And some of the bodies that they brought into the emergency room..." Sakura gave a strong shudder. "It was so horrible, and I could never help those people that needed me the most, because sometimes I'd faint in the middle of an emergency surgical procedure..." She blushed some more and started fidgeting, occasionally raising her head, just to make sure he was still there. "So then I thought, 'I should try and help people before they get hurt, and that way I won't have to deal with blood'. It seems really silly now, even to me, but it made perfect sense at the time." She let out a long sigh and stared at the ground. "But now I know I can't do this either, and-"  
  
"Sure you can!" Sakura blinked at the sudden interruption, and looked up when Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder.  
  
Ranma smiled. "Look, just because you got a little spooked on your first assignment doesn't mean police work isn't for you!" Sakura blinked again, and Ranma's face became serious and solemn.  
  
"Trust me, your case isn't so bad. I once knew... um, this girl, who was the most God-awful cook in the world. She could boil water and start a fire in the kitchen, and once she was done, even the water would turn out bad." Ranma's expression changed rapidly, from a moment of sorrow and regret, to a nostalgic chuckle at the memory.  
  
"R-really?" Sakura couldn't believe it. Even she hadn't started out that bad.  
  
"Oh yeah. Of course, she had the opposite problem you do, and thought that she was a fine cook, no matter how many times everybody told her she wasn't. I was on the recieving end of most of her meals. Eventually my Mom managed to convince her that she wasn't ready to cook big, fancy dishes with lots of different foods, and she started from the beginning, learning how to boil water." Ranma's wan smile faded, and his expression turned regretful again.  
  
"Despite me discouraging her all the time, she kept trying, and the last time I saw her, she could actually cook an edible plate of curry. Now that was a miracle."  
  
Ranma sat back onto his futon, and stared up at the ceiling. Then his mind started to wonder what the hell he was doing. It had all just sort of come to him at once.  
  
Then a pair of soft arms enveloped him, and he felt Sakura's warm breath next to his ear.  
  
Sakura gave him a big hug, then let go of him and walked toward the door. She turned around before she left, to see Ranma hadn't budged from his position when she hugged him.  
  
She giggled. "Thank you, Ranma." Then she turned and headed toward her room, and her bed.  
  
  
  
Ranma, for his part, remained in the same position, staring straight up at the ceiling for another 2 minutes, before he fell over backward on his futon.  
  
Blinking, he shrugged and grabbed his blanket.  
  
'Hmm. I must be getting better at this kind of thing.'  
  
Wrapping himself in the blanket, he quickly slipped into a deep slumber.  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** ******* 


	4. And Now We Introduce the Shadowy Guy in ...

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Special disclaimer applies. That means that although I'm using other people's characters for my own diabolical purposes, I can claim that they're mine and they can't sue me, based on the fact that I'm a loon. Need evidence? Just keep reading.  
  
  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 4  
  
And Now we Introduce the Shadowy Guy in a Lab Coat......  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
With a barely noticeable click the entire room lit up brightly, instantly blinding anyone who had been accustomed to the pitch blackness of half a second previous.  
  
That only applied to a single person, however, and she just smiled.  
  
  
  
Alexandra Tokima, vice president of Wraith Labs Incorporated, slowly walked down the huge, sterilized hallway, lined with hundreds of lab tables, computers, wires, and almost every kind of scanner or diagnostic tool ever devised.  
  
Not to mention the hundreds of glass cylinders. Containing humanoid skeletons with a grotesquely thin layer of skin covering each one.  
  
The bodies just floated in the nutrient water, in perfect hibernation, with the small articulated claws hanging overhead, holding little sacs full of pearly white spheres.  
  
  
  
Alex smiled wider. Walking up to one of the tubes with a wide, flat control panel next to it, she pulled up a plastic box covering a switch. Then, typing in an access code known but to a select few, twisted the switch, causing a thousand more lights and machines to come alive.  
  
The claw moved, grasping the plastic sac with two fingers and slicing deep into the chest with the third. Then, cutting open the bag, the spheres were quickly jammed into the slit, with a few more falling out the edges and slowly floating to the bottom of the tube.  
  
Alex's smile never wavered as she walked up to the cylinder. The arm retracted itself, and a red light shone through the glass as indication as electricity and new fluids were pumped into the tank. At the bottom, one could see the small pearly orbs already trembling with life and breaking open, spilling black inky clouds upward.  
  
Within moments the body itself moved. Beginning with the flexing of a finger, the monstrous creature inside soon began struggling inside the tube, futiley seeking release from its glass prison, even as the creatures injected into its body began to writhe, causing its rubbery skin to bulge and swell. It banged on the glass, but its own almost negligable strength, combined with the density of the nutrient fluid, sapped all the force from its strikes. The slugs inside the eggs had already finished hatching, and certain ones had fused to its spinal cord and elongated into slimy tenacles as they broke the surface of the skin.  
  
  
  
Most people would have vomited badly at the sight.  
  
  
  
Alex's smile only slightly lessened, becoming more somber with a hint of longing, and she brought her hand up to stroke the outside of the tank gently. The monster inside tracked her movements, sensing her body's heat and energy, desperately trying to grab her and suck the life from her body.  
  
Alex slowly kissed two of her fingers, then pressed them tenderly against the glass where the creature's tentacles touched. It seemed to somehow understand the display of affection, and quickly calmed down, opting to simply stare at her through its empty eye sockets.  
  
She sighed. "Soon. Very soon. We will let you go to do as you wish. But you must be patient. A scorpion has to hunt its prey and kill it. A spider traps its prey and gets to watch it struggle as it slowly dies." She was quite certain the monstrosity inside the tube couldn't even hear her, but it had felt right anyway.  
  
Walking over to one of the nearby lab tables, she stuck her hand into an open tank of bluish slime, quick pulling out a large black slug. It immediately started thrashing in her grip, as she was holding it so that it couldn't get a hold of her arm.  
  
She gently stroked the mutant creature, heedless of the danger it represented. This was what she had worked for all these years. These creatures she had created were small, nearly undetectable, and more sophisticated than even a human being. They were lethal too, not to their victims, but to their victim's victims. They turned rational, thinking creatures into mindless killing machines. They were the ultimate terror weapon.  
  
"So beautiful... and this is only the beginning. With your DNA programming, we can make all sorts of little nightmares even more wonderful than you are. With just a few more years..." she whispered to the creature.  
  
"Only you could find beauty in a mutant slug."  
  
Alex didn't even turn around, instead petting the black slimeball a final time before gently dropping it back into its tank.  
  
"I find beauty in power. Those that judge by appearance are fools to be crushed by those that know better, Konta." She turned around to face him, sliding to a sitting position on the table as she did so, giving an excellent view of everything her miniskirt didn't cover. Which was a lot.  
  
The man in the large lab coat didn't even bother to look, instead walking up to the tank holding the creature she had activated. Yoshi Konta was 48 years old, bald, bespectacled, short, and had the complexion of a man that rarely, if ever, left his computer station at work. He was the head scientist at Wraith Labs, at least ever since the last one had "mysteriously" disappeared after Wraith Labs had its chain of crises.  
  
Yoshi observed the Creature in the tank for a moment, then laughed out loud. Tokima raised an eyebrow, and he turned to her suddenly, slapping the control board in good humor.  
  
"Ha ha ha! That's funny coming from you, Alex!"  
  
She smiled seductively. "True beauty comes from power, not looks. But looks don't hurt, either."  
  
  
  
Despite her cool demeanor, Alex was totally off-balance, as she usually was when dealing with Yoshi. She never was completely sure what it was about the little geneticist that unnerved her so. Perhaps it was his knowledge, that always seemed to include things that a man of his position shouldn't know. Perhaps it was his genius, powerful enough to decrypt the DNA code necessary for their latest project, and cunning enough to always improve upon her own plans and designs. Perhaps it was his cold logic, that would always take any advantage, no matter what the cost, whether it be money or human lives. What most people thought, and what was probably the truth, though, was that he was the only man that was neither uncomfortable or too comfortable in her presence. Her raw sexuality, which could reduce most men to putty, never even fazed him.  
  
  
  
She was still thinking about that when she realized that he had spoken. "What was that Konta?"  
  
The man's smile widened at catching her off guard again, and her face flushed. She hated him, and hated the little games he always liked to play, but she had to admit that he was far more vital to the project than even she was. Besides that, killing him would be like executing Einstein for slurping coffee, and firing him would be sending him into someone else's hands.  
  
"I said, 'the results from the last test are complete'. I've got good news and bad news."  
  
Alex nodded, not trusting herself to speak.  
  
  
  
Yoshi coughed. "First, the good news: Subect E-777 was released successfully, and completed its mission well beyond projected test parameters. The control and programming functions were flawless, and with additional tests we're planning to move on to the next phase ahead of schedule."  
  
Alex smiled. "Excellent. My superiors will be very glad to hear that. How did the recovery go?"  
  
Yoshi adjusted his glasses, wiping them with his coat. His smile never left his face. "That's the bad news. There was no recovery. E-777 was destroyed after the primary analysis of the testing area."  
  
Alex raised an eyebrow. The return of 777 hadn't been a sure thing, they knew, as the new mutants hardly had the capability to take on even a small heavily armed task force, but the way Konta had mentioned it seemed to imply that there was more to it than that.  
  
Yoshi lead Alex to a small round table in the center of the room, then pushed a button on the edge. A detailed hologram of Shiromir's office complex appeared. The walls and floors quickly disappeared, giving an unobstructed view of the inside of the building.  
  
  
  
"Here's what the recording shows. At 10:49 AM subject E-777 was released here via a disguised supply truck."  
  
A small, blinking red light appeared to mark where the test subject had been released.  
  
"From there, 777 made its way up the first two levels, and from there managed to infect the entire complex."  
  
The red light started to move, following the monster's trek through the building. Wherever it went, a large patch of yellow seemed to mark its passage, then independently spread to the surrounding area. The whole time, several blue lights appear marking the subject's victims. Before the yellow patch had spread to the final three floors of the building, Yoshi hit one of the buttons, causing the video to pause.  
  
"At this point, 12:14 PM, a bystander noticed the disturbance and contacted the authorities." Yoshi unpaused the simulation, and the yellow patch finished spreading through the rest of the building. Screens worth of data suddenly appeared on two windows that opened up on either side of the hologram, only to be ignored by the audience.  
  
"The police arrived at 12:17 PM to evaluate the scene. The SWAT team arrived at 12:22 PM."  
  
Alex looked up at him. "So they infiltrated the building and destroyed subject 777. This was not completely unexpected."  
  
Yoshi grinned, then shoved his index finger in her face. "Wrong!" Alex blinked. "The SWAT team never got the order to infiltrate the building, only to lock it down! At exactly 12:39 PM the DAPC arrived on the scene to take over the operation. Two units consisting of two officers each infiltrated the building 3 minutes later at these points here, on the first and third floors."  
  
Alex frowned. "The DAPC? I've never heard of them. But they must be suicidal to try that kind of operation with four men."  
  
"They're the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. What can I say, this qualified. In any case, whether they're suicidal or not, at 1:02 PM E-777 encountered a disturbance. Unfortunately, since the test had already been completed and the diagnostic equipment was so precise, we have no data on the encounter or the DAPC's progress through the building, but I can tell you that E-777 was destroyed, and the four officers all emerged alive, if not a little queasy."  
  
Alex frowned. "This is rather odd. Nonetheless, casualties and setbacks happen, and this is a rather minor one. What about the aftermath?"  
  
The light from the overhead lamps seemed to glint of Yoshi's glasses in a particularly evil-looking manner before he simply smiled again. "4 Shiromir employees dead. The rest were all wounded, most sporting either bad bruises, minor burns and paralysis, and a few concussions and broken bones here and there. Overall, Shiromir got through this much better than we expected."  
  
Alex's jaw dropped. "Only 4 dead?! But-but how? What happened to the others?"  
  
Yoshi chuckled. "There's more bad news. Apparently our little secret's out. The DAPC called in with information regarding our little parasitic friends, and told everyone how the slugs worked. Apparently they had come upon one of our other tests prior to this incident and picked up one of our subjects. On Sunday they called in all the information they had regarding the slugs, and that made its way to the SWAT teams before they got a chance to mow everyone down. It would seem that they're fairly close to figuring out what's going on.  
  
Alex's entire plan shattered before her eyes. Ideas were ripped apart and thrown away in just seconds, due to one little lucky revelation. Her boss was not going to be pleased. They had predicted that it would be another few phases before any connection between the "zombies" and the harmless black slugs were made.  
  
Trying to reign in her anger and frustration, she focused on Yoshi, who was still grinning like an idiot. "Have they connected it with us at all? How long have you known that they had this information?"  
  
Yoshi leaned up against a glass tube and feigned deep thought. "Oh, all they know about who's involved is that Shiromir Industries has something to do with it. As for your second question, I was informed roughly two minutes after the DA's commanding officer made the phone call Sunday afternoon."  
  
"AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?!?!?!"  
  
Yoshi blinked, then shrugged innocently. "You never asked."  
  
She wanted to kill him. She wanted to kill him so badly. She wanted to see him die painfully and slowly. Anything to rid herself of that sardonic grin!  
  
Yoshi, to his credit, did an excellent job of simply smiling at her reddened face, rather than watching her ample chest heave up and down, a sight which certainly would've attracted any other man's attention.  
  
Eventually Alex was able to calm down, and she fixed Yoshi with a sub-zero glare. "I want detailed reports on this DAPC. Budget, personnel, exploits, history, EVERYTHING."  
  
Yoshi's smile didn't budge as he picked up three huge binders out from under his lab coat. "Fortunately I anticipated your interest. These three files contain past and present personnel, history of the department, and the budget and assets. I certainly hope it's helpful."  
  
Alex's eye twitched ever so slightly as she took the folders. "Thank you Konta." She started to open the folders on a nearby table, when Yoshi coughed.  
  
Looking around quietly, Yoshi leaned in a said slowly. "Not to be a bother, but could you look at those somewhere else? The lab's working hours start soon, and most of my personnel don't need the distraction, if you know what I mean."  
  
Alex picked up the folders, adjusted her miniskirt, and walked out without a single word.  
  
  
  
Yoshi watched her go, then looked toward the tube holding the creature she had activated. "Oh yes, Tokima. You're right. Power is beautiful. But who will be the most beautiful after the scars have been set? I think you don't realize just how interesting this could get." Yoshi stared at the monstrosity in the tube for a few moments more. It had reached full growth, with four long, black tentacles bulging from its forearms and shoulders, and with the rest of its body swarming in masses of slugs, both inside and outside its body. Then he laughed.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The shadowy evil people weren't the only ones having a debriefing, however. Several kilometers away, Asuka was giving a final evaluation on the raid on Shiromir.  
  
She took a moment to glare at Ranma some more before activating the projector (she had been glaring at him since he got in that morning, she saw no reason to stop now). A magnified picture of a very familiar black garden pest appeared on the screen.  
  
"This, as you all know, has now been confirmed as the cause of the latest string of 'zombie' attacks. These parasites are small, fairly quick, and above all extremely dangerous. And now they have a name. The guys at the top have code-named these creatures as 'vamps'."  
  
The members of the audience all turned and looked at each other, then shrugged and returned their focus to the screen.  
  
"All right, now hold onto your stomachs..." Asuka hit a button, and the picture on the screen changed to a crudely drawn depiction of the skeletal creature they had encountered.  
  
The reactions varied. Ranma and Kyle grimaced at the reminder of the whole encounter. Sakura flinched and tried not to look at the picture. Tiro fell out of his chair. Snake leaned forward. Junko gagged. Tycho, who was still suspended but was allowed to come to the briefing anyway just stared wide- eyed.  
  
"What the hell is that? You can't tell me that that thing's real!!" Junko's protests were quickly cut off by a look from Asuka.  
  
"This is a new biological unit that seems to work in conjunction with the vamps. Because of its ability to transport and spread hundreds of vamps at a time, these mutants have been code-named 'carriers'. It's estimated that one carrier can spread over 250 vamps and infect an area of roughly 400 square meters, assuming normal population density. Unfortunately, we don't have any more information on the carriers, or even a good picture of one, due to the fact that the only encountered carrier was completely obliterated."  
  
Asuka glared at Ranma meaningfully, and he just rolled his eyes.  
  
Tiro raised a shaking hand. "We're not going to *gulp* have to fight these things, will we?"  
  
Asuka sighed. "That remains to be seen. However, if you do encounter a carrier, engage it only with extreme caution, and only with heavy, preferably explosive weaponry."  
  
As predicted, Snake started cheering at the prospect.  
  
Tycho slapped Tiro on the shoulder. "It's alright, man, we can handle it."  
  
Asuka quickly turned towards him, and gestured towards the door. "Wattai, there's nothing more here that you need to know. Your suspension is now in full effect. Go away."  
  
Tycho blinked. "But-" Asuka glared at him, and the driver quickly backed down. Head hanging low in shame, he slowly walked out of the room and out the building.  
  
Junko watched him go, then pouted. "Aw, he looks so sad...... he needs some more therapy!" Blowing a kiss to the others, she quickly walked out of the room after the depressed driver.  
  
Asuka stared at the door way with her mouth hanging open. Snake and Tiro were muttering under their breaths about how lucky he was. Ranma, Kyle, and Sakura were too clueless to know what was going on, so they ignored the whole occurence.  
  
" Th-th-that little tramp! What does she think this is?" Asuka stuttered. Suddenly she realized that the debriefing wasn't over yet, and zipped back around.  
  
"*Ahem* Our recent investigation of Shiromir Industries have turned up nothing. Shiromir claims no knowledge of what's going on or why they seem to be at the middle of it. All known facilities of theirs have been checked. However, this does not completely exclude Shiromir from suspicion. The local authorities are going to be making triple rounds on all Shiromir properties to insure that any more disturbances are acted upon more quickly."  
  
She took another glance around the room, stopping only to glare at Ranma, and nodded once she made sure that she still had everyone's attention. "Look, we may know more about these things than any other department, but we still have no clue where they're coming from. I want you all to be extra careful when on patrol, and if you encounter any more similar disturbances, try to gather as much evidence as possible before blowing anything up!" Ranma rolled his eyes as her cold gaze shifted to him a final time.  
  
"That is all. You're dismissed."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"For the last time, NO, we're not gonna go see a movie. We're on patrol duty!"  
  
Tiro pouted. "But Ranma, patrol is so boring. It's not like anything's gonna happen that we'll have to take care of. They've got real police around here too, ya know!"  
  
Ranma growled slightly at the reminder of the reputation of the department, and therefore himself. "Listen to me: Forget about it!"  
  
Tiro sighed wearily and returned his focus to the road ahead of them. "What about the arcade down the street? I'll play you a quick game of Time Crisis."  
  
"No!"  
  
"The college! Why don't we go scout around there, pick up some dates for next friday? It's an all-girl college..."  
  
"NO!!"  
  
"Donut shop? Their cinnamon/maple twists are excellent!"  
  
"No--Wait, donuts? ............ Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to just pick up a few......"  
  
Snickering to himself, Tiro made a quick U-turn and headed off their patrol path.  
  
  
  
"Say, Saotome, why don't you drive after we get there? I'm getting pretty tired of this."  
  
Ranma leveled a stare at him before returning his eyes to the sidewalk. "I don't have a license."  
  
Tiro blinked. "Seriously? You don't? Why not?"  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Why would I need one?"  
  
Tiro quickly turned his eyes to the road in time to avoid running into a taxi, then turned back to Ranma. "Well... you know... as transportation! How do you get to work without a car? Do you take the subway?"  
  
Ranma was about to shake his head no, but then stopped to think about it. How do you explain to a totally normal person that you preferred to jump from rooftop to rooftop to get anywhere more than 100 meters away?  
  
"............................. I manage."  
  
Tiro apparently accepted this explanation, then started humming a random tune to himself.  
  
Eventually he thought of something else to talk about, and turned back to Ranma. "So, are you and Sakura dating? Or are you *ahem* more intimate than that? Eh? Eh? Wink wink nudge nudge?"  
  
Ranma stared at him like he had grown another head. "No, we're not."  
  
Tiro sighed in exasperation. "C'mon man, you've got to hurry up and make your move! You're living in her house! As a friend, I can't let you waste an opportunity this perfect!"  
  
Ranma continued to stare at him. "Now, remind me for a moment, what exactly did I say I'd do to you if you brought this up again?"  
  
Tiro bigsweated. "Uh... well, you see..."  
  
"Pull over."  
  
Tiro gulped as he heard the hard seriousness of the command, and thought that he was really going to get beat up, until he realized that Ranma wasn't even looking at him anymore. Curious as to what was going on, he quickly cut across to the sidewalk and put the squad car in park.  
  
Tiro stared at Ranma worriedly. The martial artist was obviously troubled by something, but everything looked okay to him. "What's the matter? You feel a disturbance in the force?"  
  
Ranma sighed and looked back at him. "Knock it off, will ya?" Ranma looked back out the window of the car. "Something's not right here."  
  
  
  
Tiro leaned over Ranma's lap to get a look outside. They had stopped right in front of a small, independently run bank. The people outside were acting completely normal, and peering inside, there was nothing unnatural going on in the bank either.  
  
"I don't know. Everything looks fine here. C'mon, the donut shop's just ahead." Tiro moved to get back into the driver's seat, but Ranma grabbed his shoulder.  
  
"No. Something's wrong. Follow me."  
  
Ranma got out of the car, followed by a befuddled Tiro. Looking around, the only thing that seemed even remotely out of place was a man next to the bank reading a newspaper in such a way that it hid his face.  
  
  
  
Ranma gave a short flick into a page of the paper to get his attention. The man lowered the paper enough to see who it was and gasped.  
  
Most people would say that Ranma couldn't read people worth a wooden nickel, but even he could tell that the man was panicking badly from seeing him. The poor fellow was sweating, struggling to speak, and was even trembling slightly. He wondered why. Quickly going through his memory, he couldn't manage to recall seeing him before.  
  
There was an almost inaudible *click* followed by the man's stuttering "H- h-hello off... off... officer!"  
  
Tiro hadn't heard the soft noise, but Ranma did. Ranma tore away the newspaper, and the man gave off a squeak of fear as the walkie-talkie he had been hiding was exposed.  
  
Tiro's eyes narrowed as he began to catch on that something was up. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Tiro snatched away the object, and the man shrunk back even more. "Looks like a plain, two-way walkie talkie... and it's off."  
  
The man blinked. "Off?" Then he gave off a cry of frustration and started banging his head against the wall. "Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!! The damn thing was already on and I turned it off!"  
  
Ranma and Tiro sweatdropped. "Um, excuse me, but-"  
  
  
  
*KABOOOOOOM!!!!!!*  
  
  
  
The explosion nearly shook the ground with sheer force, and all the windows of the nearby building shattered from the blast. Tiro was held up before he hit the ground, though the man tumbled away and banged into a telephone pole.  
  
He looked up to see the bank practically collapsing in on itself, the roof swathed with flames and the interior a ruin. Looking next to him, he saw that Ranma was holding him up by his arm, having somehow withstood the explosion easily.  
  
Tiro had no idea what to do. He simply looked up at Ranma, who stared coldly into the flaming interior of the bank, hoping against hope that he would somehow know what to do.  
  
Ranma looked down at Tiro, then pulled him up the rest of the way. "I'm going in to find any survivors and get whoever did this. You call for backup, then get your gun." He started to leave, when Tiro grabbed his arm.  
  
"Are you crazy? You're just gonna stroll in there?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Yes."  
  
"And what am I supposed to do after I get my gun?!"  
  
Ranma shrugged. "I don't know. Find somebody to point it at, I guess." With that he quickly picked up his rail gun from the interior of the car before running into the bank.  
  
Tiro watched helplessly as the pigtailed man started hauling the injured and dead bodies out, two at a time, at an alarming pace. Then he sighed and retrieved his gun from inside the car and slipped it into its holster. "Sheesh. Over 200 violent crimes in Tokyo every single day, and I just happen to be at the one that involves explosives."  
  
Then, kicking the unconscious man to make sure he was out cold, Tiro got back into the car and pulled out the radio.  
  
  
  
Ranma sweated heavily as he waded once more into the burning remains of the building. He had to hand it to the people that made the uniform he was wearing, for they had made it well. He already been directly exposed to several gouts of flame and the stuff had yet to burn away completely or even catch fire.  
  
He stopped at the receptionists' desk and looked through the shattered sections of wood and plastic.  
  
Bodies were lying everywhere, having been closest to the explosion. Not a single one survived. Ranma merely looked at them as he passed, but he was beyond cold rage now. He was going to find whoever did this, and... and...... well, he wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do, but it would involve a lot of pain and probably some humiliation, followed by a nice long jail sentence courtesy of the legal system.  
  
Ranma stopped suddenly as he heard scraping noises from behind the wall. Looking to the safe, Ranma saw that explosives must have been placed outside the safe on the banker's side, though how they had gotten there he didn't know. The safe door was still on its hinges, and the extremely heavy and thick metal had apparently protected most of, if not everything, that was inside.  
  
Ranma gave a grunt as he walked up to the safe door, then pulled the thing off its hinges, tossing it aside further into the interior.  
  
  
  
The men inside were caught completely off guard. Ranma had ample time to take in their appearance and the situation before they gathered enough wit to respond to the intrusion.  
  
Five men were dressed in full-body wool suits, plus masks and gloves, probably so as not to leave any DNA evidence behind. All they carried were sacks, in which they were stashing money as quickly as possible. At least until he had come in. Behind them was a large hole with burn marks around it. Ranma figured they must have used explosives on the other side too, then detonated them both at the same time. Beyond the hole were three men in sleeveless body armor carrying large machine guns. The last thing he noticed before taking his gun out of the sheath strapped to his back was that each of the gunmen had a tattoo with a cobra coiled around a length of barbed wire.  
  
One of the men grabbing the money broke out of his stupor. "Aw, man! Telos was supposed to warn us if the cops came around!"  
  
Another one gulped and started to back away fearfully. "Did... did he just rip the door off the safe?"  
  
One of the gunmen quickly shoved that one aside and took aim. "No you moron, he just opened the door and it fell off due to the explosion." He turned to Ranma and grinned contemptuously as his finger settled on the trigger. "And as for you, you're gonna wish you had just turned around and walked away."  
  
*Thoom!*  
  
Reflexively, the thug pulled the trigger as soon as he heard the sound of the shot going his way, theoretically sending a hail of bullets right toward Ranma.  
  
In practice, it's hard to fire a weapon that's been blasted in two by a metal rod propelled at a speed way faster than the average simpleton's reflexes.  
  
Ranma didn't smile, didn't smirk, didn't grimace. "You're all under arrest for assault, destruction of private property, first degree murder, and whatever else I can find afterwards. You have the right to remain silent. Please, give me an excuse to shoot you."  
  
Several audible gulps could be heard, and the other gunmen quickly pulled themselves to the sides of the hole in back of the building, then started pouring gunfire in while exposing them to as little return fire as possible.  
  
The men inside the safe scattered; Ranma simply jumped to one side and narrowed his eyes. These guys weren't your normal, everyday criminals. They were fighting intellingently (well, not the first one. The others did, though)... which meant they might know when to quit, too.  
  
  
  
Outside the bank, the three gunmen were still laying down cover fire so that their companions could crawl out of the building and escape, when several loud shots rang out from inside.  
  
*Thoom!* *Blam*  
  
*Thoom!* *Blam*  
  
*Thoom!* *Blam*  
  
*Thoom!* *Blam*  
  
The henchmen stopped firing as they watched the electro-magnetically propelled rails easily punch through the thick, hardened metal of the safe wall, and come through the other side to impact the nearby buildings or whatever happened to be in their way.  
  
Though none of the shots had come even close to hitting them, that could have meant one of two things: he's a lousy shot, or he was trying to hint that there wasn't a piece of cover within 50 kilometers which could possibly hope to protect them from his weapon of choice.  
  
Considering what he had done to the first guy's gun, they opted for choice # 2.  
  
Evacuating the last of their people, they quickly put as much distance between themselves and the bank. The leader of the gang slipped a detonator from his pocket. Flipping a switch on the side, he then pushed the single button on the device, which sent off two more explosives on either side of the building.  
  
The structure gave a final groan of protest before it collapsed totally, burying everyone in it at the time.  
  
  
  
The men had just started congratulating each other on a job well done, and were gathering into their escape van, when there was a blinding flash of blue light, and debris rained down on top of them.  
  
Ranma, in his tattered but still intact uniform, stood atop the rubble, taking aim with his rail gun.  
  
Two shots later, their escape vehicle's back left wheel was completely destroyed.  
  
The thugs were about to return fire when another voice rang out from off to the side.  
  
"All right, drop your weapons!" Tiro aimed his gun at the nearest criminal and waited.  
  
The criminals looked back and forth, then decided that it was too risky to shoot it out. Three of them dived into the disabled van and tried to move it anyway, while the others, including all those presently armed, made a break for it behind the van and off into an alleyway.  
  
Ranma blinked as the van clumsily tried to make its way to the street, then sighed and took aim with his rail gun again. "Don't these jerks know when to just give up and take a jail sentence?"  
  
*Thoom!* *Boom!*  
  
Their other wheel snapped off its axis and rolled away, while the entire back of the van scraped on the ground as it collided with a nearby dumpster, losing the last of its momentum.  
  
  
  
Tiro nodded. "Nice shot."  
  
Ranma grimaced. "We'd better hurry up and get those other guys... huh? What's that?"  
  
They both looked off into the alley that the thugs had retreated to, hearing automatic gunfire.  
  
There were a few more bursts, then some screams.  
  
More screams.  
  
One man rushed out of the alley as fast as he could, tripping in the process and starting to crawl away.  
  
Another one came out, this one armed, and was still firing into the alley way.  
  
What was interesting, though, was that both men had several vamps attached to them.  
  
Ranma covered his face in his hands. "Aw man, why now?"  
  
Tiro blinked. "Are those...?"  
  
Ranma nodded and trudged forward. "Yeah, and judging by how many of them there are, there must be a carrier back there." He sighed forlornly. "Well, we better go kill it."  
  
Tiro was about to say something else when he saw it staggering out of the alley. The carrier looked more or less how it was described to him, except the many bullet holes oozing black slime gave an extra-ghoulish effect.  
  
"HOLY JESUS!!! Is that thing for real?!"  
  
Ranma simply nodded and brought out a spare rail cartridge.  
  
*Ch-chunk*  
  
Fully armed, he kicked away the man that was still crawling away from the fiend, then advanced towards it.  
  
The carrier focused on the only man presently shooting at him, the last armed criminal, and threw an arm out, causing a tentacle to whip around and slap away the gun. A second black tentacle slipped around his ankles, then tossed him away.  
  
*Thoom!*  
  
The creature refocused his attention as one of his arm joints were blown clear through, and saw Ranma taking careful aim a few meters away. It raised a tentacle to retaliate.  
  
*Thoom!*  
  
That tentacle was soon removed, along with the rest of his other arm.  
  
*Thoom!*  
  
The carrier fell onto the ground as its leg was blown away at the knee.  
  
*Thoom!*  
  
Its other leg was gone......  
  
*Thoom!* *Thoom!* *Thoom!*  
  
Its head was reduced to blackened shreds of flesh, bone, and dark mucus as the rails tore it apart and embedded it into the ground.  
  
  
  
Ranma sighed. The thing was still moving, albeit slightly. He slipped the rail gun back into its holster on his back, then turned around to find Tiro emptying his stomach into a nearby garbage can. Ranma politely waited for him to finish.  
  
Tiro groaned as he walked back to the battlefield. He looked at the dismembered corpse lying in a puddle of black slime, with several vamps crawling away from the dead body.  
  
He snorted. "I was under the impression they were harder to kill than that."  
  
Ranma gave him a look. "It's not totally dead, you know. Look, it's still twitching."  
  
"AAAAH!!"  
  
Ranma sighed as Tiro jumped into his arms in terror.  
  
"What are you waiting for?! Finish it off!"  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Sorry, can't. Captain's orders." He dropped Tiro on the ground, then headed toward the alleyway. "Would you mind getting the vamps off those two guys? I have to take care of these fellas before they 'zombify'...... say, have any other police arrived?"  
  
Tiro nodded as he absenly slapped away a slug trying to crawl up his boot. "Yeah, a few units came just before I got here."  
  
Ranma nodded in approval. "Good. They can handle the guys in the van. We'd better get to work."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"And then we opened fire on the thing and blew it apart! Blood was everywhere! I swear, you guys should have seen it!" Most of the group listened anxiously as Tiro related their tale of horror to their co- workers.  
  
Ranma sighed. "As I recall, I did the shooting while you were... busy elsewhere."  
  
Tiro laughed nervously. "Uh... true, true, but I was ready to back you up!"  
  
Snake looked at Tiro. "Was the one you saw as ugly as the one the captain drew?"  
  
Tiro nearly gagged. "It was worse. Much worse! Long, thick tentacles, slimy pores oozing with black slime, vamps everywhere, and jagged spikes covering-"  
  
"No jagged spikes." Ranma interrupted calmly.  
  
"Er... well, yeah, no spikes. But it was huge! At least 10 feet tall with the body of a wrestler!"  
  
"It was 5 foot 6 and thin as the rails I was shooting at it." Ranma took a sip of soda pop, then relaxed more deeply into the large leather chair.  
  
Tiro glared at him. "You know, you really know how to ruin a story."  
  
Sakura leaned Ranma's chair back slightly so that she could peek over it from behind. "So what happened when you faced the robbers? Didn't they have guns?"  
  
Everyone turned to Ranma. He just shrugged. "Eh, a few of them did. Nothing much happened, except they tried to bring down the building on top of me."  
  
His audience was about to try to pry for more details when Asuka yelled out. "Quiet! The news report is starting!"  
  
  
  
Everyone in the room focused their attention on the large television screen that was suspended from the ceiling.  
  
Asuka beamed. He had had her doubts about Saotome, but he had pulled through. Their exploits at the Shiromir infiltration had been lost in the confusion of an entire office building being attacked by mutants, but this time they would net all the glory. 'Finally, the DAPC will get some good publicity! And then maybe some good officers to replace these jerks I have to deal with!'  
  
*-In other news, today an attempted robbery occured at 4:20 PM at the Nyamutsu 1st National Bank. Several explosives were placed both on the inside and outside of the bank, detonated remotely from a safe area outside. Several lives were lost as the interior explosive went off, which served as a distraction as the crooks looted the safe after another explosion created an entrance near the back of the structure.*  
  
*Luckily, police forces arrived on the scene and stopped the criminals, while also managing to rescue those that had survived the blast.*  
  
Tiro blinked. "Police forces? Just 'police forces'?"  
  
"Say the name......" Asuka muttered softly.  
  
*The criminals were all part of a recently identified radical terrorist group called 'Freedom's Angels', a group which seeks to overthrow the Japanese government in favor of a complete anarchy. The gang members can be identified by their mandatory tatoo, which is a cobra coiled around a piece of barbed wire.*  
  
Ranma blinked. "Yeah... that's the tattoo I saw on all the guys without sleeves..."  
  
"When are they going to get to how we heroically saved the day?" Tiro complained.  
  
Kyle scratched his head. "I'd like to hear about the fight with the carrier. When do they get to that?"  
  
"Quiet!" Asuka turned up the volume slightly.  
  
*And now, we have an interview with today's hero!*  
  
Tiro glanced at Ranma. "They interviewed you?"  
  
Ranma pointed to himself. "Me? No."  
  
The news anchor walked up to a man with long, dark hair and put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
*Mr. Toryama Nakeeguchi saved a young girl's life today, administering CPR quickly when she suddenly stopped breathing from shock.*  
  
*THUD!* Everyone in the room hit the ground face first.  
  
*"It was my duty as a police officer to help her. The medics hadn't arrived yet, so I was the only one that could administer CPR in time."*  
  
The officers of the DAPC slowly dragged themselves off the ground...  
  
*And now we have a short meeting with the victim.*  
  
The camera panned around to a young woman whose arms were lightly burned, along with an abrasion along her leg. She was crying softly as the medics tended her wounds.  
  
*"It was horrible... he was so brave... I could have DIED if he hadn't been there!"*  
  
"You WOULD'VE died if we hadn't been there!!" Tiro's yelling at the TV was, predictably, ineffectual.  
  
*And there you have it! Officer Nakeeguchi will be recieving a medal later today to award his efforts, as well as a promotion. Now for the weather...*  
  
Asuka looked up at the TV passively. Then she slipped her gun from its holster and flipped off the safety.  
  
"Uh oh..."  
  
"She's gone postal!"  
  
"Take cover!"  
  
*Blam* *Blam* *Blam*  
  
The TV was totally wasted as the bullets tore through the many necessary components for it to function properly. Asuka lowered her gun, then flipped the safety back on and holstered it.  
  
The others peeked up from behind their various cover. All except Ranma, who hadn't moved from his chair.  
  
Kyle scratched his head as he stood up again. "Hmmm... they didn't mention the carrier at all."  
  
Snake got up to, but was more careful to distance himself from his Captain. "Yeah, but that's politics. They don't want to frighten people by saying that there're mutants running around out of control."  
  
Asuka stared passively at the remains of the TV. "Those bastards... they did that on purpose. Didn't want us to gain any publicity." She turned around to address the others in the room, who gulped and stepped back. "You can all go home."  
  
Then she walked out.  
  
  
  
There was a moment of silence.........  
  
"Ya know something?" Tiro ventured.  
  
Ranma looked up at him. "What?"  
  
"She's kinda cute when she's angry!"  
  
*THUD!* Another group facefault.  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
End Chapter 4 


	5. Time for Tea

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Standard disclaimer applies. I do not own, nor have ever claimed to own, the discovery, function, or product of tea, coffee, or ice. With that muddled batch of nonsense, I leave you to enjoy the latest chapter in my series of alternate nightmares.  
  
  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Time for Tea  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
"Oh my God, somebody help me!" Sakura cried desperately as she ran down the alleyway, the bolter beating lightly against her thigh as it rocked in its holster.  
  
She turned corners, knocked down garbage bins, and further increased her running pace as the huge buildings loomed up on all sides, trapping her. She ran down another alleyway blindly, anything to further herself from what she knew lurked behind her.  
  
She didn't notice the gate until she had run into it.  
  
Gasping, she grabbed at the bars, trying to open it, tear it, anything to get it out of the way. She considered climbing it, but couldn't find a good foothold. Eventually she collapsed in front of it, heaving dry sobs as she tried to get her mind into some semblance of control so that she could figure out a new escape plan.  
  
That control was shattered as soon as the hoarse moan reached her ears.  
  
Slowly, terrified almost to the point of paralysis, she turned and saw them, two, three, four carriers, their almost skeletal bodies oozing the black slime that was their lifeblood.  
  
Vamps, the black, infectious slugs started crawling around the walls of the buildings, hardly seemed interested in her and only served to make the entire scene look more horrifying.  
  
She whimpered and backed herself into the farthest corner, hugging herself and hoping beyond hope that the freakish mutants would miss or ignore her.  
  
They didn't, of course. Their empty sockets tracked her slightest movements, and their tentacles writhed restlessly as they were dragged along on the ground.  
  
Suddenly, she remembered her gun. Drawing it from her holster, she didn't even bother to aim before she depressed the trigger as quickly as she could, raining stunner bolts into her attackers.  
  
Despite her somewhat shell-shocked state, she allowed herself a slight feeling of satisfaction as a majority of the projectiles hit, sending their victims staggering slightly.  
  
To her grave disappointment, and ultimate doom, this didn't stop them from advancing at all.  
  
As her weapon was swatted away from her grasp, the small part of her mind that wasn't locked up in absolute terror berated her for taking a stun gun rather than a real weapon.  
  
The carriers began advancing once again, and several of the slimy black tentacles shot out to grab her.  
  
*Thoom* *Thoom*  
  
Her mental faculties seemed to return to her as one of the carriers was pierced by two rails shot at incredibly high velocity, and then exploded in a spectacularly gory fashion. The same part of her mind that had wanted a more lethal defense was now muttering about how it shouldn't have exploded like that.  
  
Nevertheless, she didn't complain as two more went down the same way. The last one made some head movements that could have been mistaken for looking around, and was then incinerated by a ball of blue energy. Her eyes widened. There was only one person she knew that could do that.  
  
"Hey Sakura, are you all right?" Ranma hopped easily over the gate, and was instantly forced to brace himself for a flying tackle. Nevertheless, he managed to stay upright, and gently held the blond policewoman as she collapsed sobbing into his chest.  
  
Sakura just cried her heart out as Ranma stroked her back soothingly.  
  
He held her away from him slightly and lifted her chin up for her to look him in the eyes.  
  
"It's all right. I'll protect you. I promise." Time seemed to freeze for that moment as she lost herself in his eyes, yet her heart seemed to be pounding in her chest harder than ever.  
  
She wasn't sure exactly when her lips had crossed the distance to his, though if you had asked her at the time, she'd be absolutely sure that she didn't care. Ranma tightened his hold on her slightly as the kiss deepened.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, though Sakura wished it had been longer, he broke the kiss, and stared lovingly into her eyes.  
  
"Sakura?"  
  
"Yes?" a light blush complimented the light haze in her mind.  
  
"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING!!!!!"  
  
  
  
"Augh!"  
  
*Thud* *Bam* *Crash*  
  
"Owwwww............" Sakura rubbed her throbbing head where it had struck her nightstand after she had fallen out of bed.  
  
Blinking, she looked about and discerned that she was in her room, it was roughly 6:30 am, and the ringing noise that had startled her out of her sleep had originated from the small alarm clock that had been knocked off of her nightstand after her unfortunate descent.  
  
A young man jogging just outside the Tekai home was unfortunately subjected to an aerial assault by a single small clock with little bells.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Shoot! I'm late!" Ranma jumped into a nearby alleyway, then deflected off the wall of one of the buildings to land on the roof of the other. Giving another quick glance at his watch, he decided that he could still get away with it as long as Asuka didn't see him come in.  
  
He had gotten up a little later than usual, and after he had bathed, Kyle had informed him on his own way out the door that Sakura had seemed a bit bitter this morning and had forgotten to make any breakfast. The lieutenant himself had just grabbed some toast and rushed to his car.  
  
So Ranma had stopped off at a little cafe on his way to the station. It had taken him longer than he had expected, mostly because the waitress seemed incredibly reluctant to actually take his order instead of explaining about how her last boyfriend was such a jerk and how she hadn't had a date in weeks.  
  
  
  
Ranma shook his head and jumped onto the last rooftop before the DAPC building. Hopping to the ground behind it, he dusted himself off as he walked in through the parking lot.  
  
Idly, he took a glance at the 'DAPC parking only. All others will be torched.' sign, complete with a little stick figure roasting an automobile with a flamethrower. Snake had signed his name at the bottom in felt pen. Ranma nodded and moved on.  
  
He noticed something was wrong as soon as he entered the station. This wasn't terribly difficult to deduce, as most of the furniture in the main office, and a lot of furniture that wasn't usually in the main office had been moved around and were lying on their sides, forming sort of an obstacle course/maze.  
  
Ranma blinked. Then he sweatdropped. Then he caught a flash of movement from behind an upturned sofa in front of him, and looked over it.  
  
Tycho looked up at him. He was wearing his full body armor, plus goggles, and was holding what appeared to be two sub-machine guns.  
  
"Wattai? Aren't you suspended?" Ranma asked, ignoring the way the other man was making sushing gestures with his finger.  
  
Ranma's head shot up as he heard a wordless battle cry, then saw Kyle stand up from behind a table that had been turned on its side and aim a combat shotgun at Tycho. He stopped to grin, then pulled the trigger.  
  
There were many things wrong with this situation.  
  
#1: Tycho hadn't done anything bad enough to warrant being shot.  
  
#2: Kyle, while certainly being one of the dimmer bulbs he had ever met, didn't seem stupid enough to blow away a fellow teammate, especially while inside the police station.  
  
#3: These guns didn't seem to be of the type of quality that Snake usually had. Compared the normally top-of-the-line weaponry that he usually had lying around, these things were antiques. And if he didn't know better, he could swear that they were actually made of plastic.  
  
#4: There is no #4.  
  
#5: The pellets that immediately struck Tycho didn't have nearly enough force to cause any real harm. Upon further observation, it was revealed that they were BB's.  
  
#6: Tycho had returned fire with his submachine guns, which spit out a steady stream of small metal pellets, driving Kyle back behind the table.  
  
#7: Snake had jumped up onto a chair on the other side of the room, holding what appeared to be a BB gatling gun. Which proved to be correct, as he opened fire on Tycho, driving him back into the furniture maze.  
  
#8: He had apparently entered the Twilight Zone.  
  
#9: See #4.  
  
  
  
Ranma continued watching and sweatdropping as the small battle played itself out, with the occasional plea for mercy and cry of "Not in the face, not in the face!".  
  
Eventually Ranma decided that the scene wasn't worth the headache of figuring out, and moved on. He didn't see anyone else until he reached the Captain's office. Hearing a light humming on the other side of the door, he knocked hesitantly.  
  
"Come on in."  
  
Ranma opened the door and peeked inside. Asuka was calmly doing some writing while next to her stood a stack of papers.  
  
"Eh, Captain Takami?"  
  
She looked up at him. "Hello. Something wrong Saotome?"  
  
Ranma glanced back into the hallway, unsure of himself. "Well... I was just wondering...... what's going on back there?"  
  
Asuka blinked. "You mean the BB guns?"  
  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. That and Tycho's here."  
  
Asuka shrugged. "It's Wednesday. Stuff like suspensions are no longer in effect."  
  
Ranma blinked, then recalled what Snake had said on his first day here. "So then, he was serious? What's going on, anyway?"  
  
Asuka sighed, then put her pen down and leaned back. "Well, you see, when this department was sent all the slackers and party animals, we couldn't get any work done, because none of them could really find a reason to work, though they also couldn't quite just tear loose and do whatever they wanted. So we made a compromise. On Wednesdays and Fridays the officers essentially get paid vacation. They can leave, stay here, bust up the place, go out drinking, or whatever they want, so long as they don't break too many laws and clean up after themselves. In return, they agreed not to give the supervisors like me a hard time when they had to do some actual work. It's worked out surprisingly well."  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Are you serious?"  
  
She nodded and returned to the contract on her desk. "I tend to use these days to do paperwork. Feel free to go do a kata or whatever."  
  
"Uh... do you know where Tiro is?"  
  
Asuka lifted her head slightly, and her voice held a definitely annoyed tone. "Sakura and Junko are sunbathing on the roof. Odds are he's there."  
  
Seeing that he was now being ignored, and that he really didn't have anything else to ask anyway, Ranma thanked her for her time and left.  
  
Asuka stopped writing for a moment, then looked up into the hallway where he had left. Shaking her head slightly, she went back to her paperwork.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Weird. It's just plain weird." Ranma muttered to himself as he passed through the hallway to another staircase.  
  
DAPC headquarters was a five-story building. The first floor held the armory, changing rooms, and offices. The second floor was a state-of-the- art jail, though it looked so high-tech, one couldn't help but call it a 'containment center'. It had only been used three times in the DA's history, and as of now the only organism on the entire floor was a tiny vamp hanging onto an electrode.  
  
The third floor, the one he was on now, was the laboratory area, where Seras and his assistant, Yamma Gordan spent the days dissecting things and playing Scrabble.  
  
Ranma idly noticed that one of the smaller testing areas had been converted into a wine cellar. Figures.  
  
As he passed through the hall, he noticed that there was a bright, almost rhythmic light coming from behind a partially open door. Curiosity getting the better of him, he opened it slightly to see Seras and the tall, thin form of Yamma clipping electrodes onto something big under a sheet.  
  
Seras chuckled to himself, then emptied a shot of whiskey into his mouth before setting the shot glass down on a table, missing, and sending it to the floor. He didn't notice.  
  
"Now we will at last bridge the gap between science and miracle! Through technology, we will conquer death itself! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Yamma, pull the lever!"  
  
The assistant undertaker grinned, then put his weight onto a huge metal bar right behind him, forcing it down into the 'on' position. Electricity flowed like a river through the cables into the electrodes, and around the entire building the lights dimmed slightly.  
  
Ranma witnessed all of this, using a towel to wipe off the many sweatdrops that threatened to weigh down his head.  
  
Seras cackled gleefully. "IT'S ALIVE!!! IT'S ALIVE!!! IT'S... it's...... it.............. hey, it's not moving."  
  
He lifted the cover of the sheet slightly. "Dang! Yamma! You forgot the brain!"  
  
"No I didn't! It's right there!" Yamma protested.  
  
Seras growled and groped with his free hand for something alcoholic. "This is a LIVER!! Not a brain! Dammit, you've seen more dead bodies than Dr. Kevorkian and you still can't identify major organs!"  
  
  
  
Ranma stared for a few more moments more before deciding to leave for the sake of his mental health.  
  
  
  
The next two floors were the technology/storage and combat centers. Ranma didn't meet anyone else along the way, because they were deserted as usual.  
  
Ranma braced himself as he opened the door to the roof. To his relief, all he saw was a semi-normal sight of Junko and Sakura lying down on towels in unnecessarily revealing swimsuits, soaking up the rays. Tiro was in his swim trunks, rubbing lotion onto Junko's back and enjoying it far more than he had any right to.  
  
He was about to step out onto the roof when Junko suddenly sat up and grinned at him.  
  
"Uh uh uh! Nobody's allowed up here with all their clothes on!" Junko grinned and wagged a finger at him. Sakura and Tiro turned around to look at him.  
  
"You have got to be kidding." Ranma said dryly. Junko shook her head no.  
  
Sakura blushed slightly and smiled at him. "Did you want to join us?"  
  
Ranma sighed. "Naw, I just wanted to see if you and Tiro were ready for a little combat training."  
  
Tiro blinked. "Combat training? What?" He was supposed to leave Junko's curvaceous, unprotected body and bottle of suntan lotion for a bit of exercise?  
  
Sakura smiled and nodded. "Okay! C'mon Tiro, let's go!" She got up to leave, then noticed that Tiro had gone back to rubbing Junko's shoulders.  
  
"Eh, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll stay here," Tiro replied offhandedly.  
  
Ranma frowned a bit before shrugging it off. "Oh well, I guess we should hurry up and change so we can start stretching.  
  
Tiro stopped. Stretching exercises?  
  
Junko grinned and sat up some more. "It's okay. You go ahead, I'll be fine."  
  
Tiro was torn between watching Sakura stretch and watching Junko sunbathe. "Well........."  
  
Ranma started to walk back into the building. "It's too bad. I was gonna make you Sakura's sparring partner."  
  
That did it. He didn't even hear the 'sparring' part, but knowing that he was going to be a pretty girl's partner at all was enough to motivate him.  
  
"Well, I guess I could go for a little bit of martial arts! Gotta stay in shape, ya know?" He laughed to himself as he walked up to Ranma.  
  
Ranma smiled slightly, then noticed something to his side and blinked. Then he looked around. On opposite sides of the roof were stationed two large anti-air missile turrets that he had somehow missed before.  
  
"Snake?" He asked, without taking his eyes off the large defense stations.  
  
The others all nodded. Ranma nodded himself, then entered the building, followed by Sakura and Tiro.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Now we'll start with the basics. Martial arts is more than just beating people up, getting stronger, or learning to break stuff," Ranma had to admit that coming from him the lecture sounded really odd, "it's about discipline, coordination, focus, and self-confidence." With no small amount of exasperation, he realized that he held Sakura's complete attention, but Tiro wasn't even listening.  
  
Tiro had decided to wear some shorts and a tank top for the lesson, and Sakura had thought that it sounded practical, so she had worn the same thing. Of course, her shorts were skin-tight spandex, and the tank top she wore was fairly loose, as to allow a peek at the dark blue sports bra she was wearing without any trouble.  
  
Ranma had learned long ago to ignore such things (and how not ignoring them could get him hurt). Tiro, unfortunately had not benefited from such wisdom, and was now quite openly ogling her.  
  
Ranma had to smack him over the head before the fool would even look at him.  
  
"Hey! What'dya hit me for?" Tiro rubbed his sore forehead irritably.  
  
"Pay attention. I didn't drag you down here just so I could talk to Sakura the whole time."  
  
Ranma backed off slightly. "I'm going to gauge your strength. Hit me with your best punch right here." Ranma pounded his chest lightly.  
  
Tiro blinked, then nodded and grinned. "All right, ready or not, here I come!"  
  
*Pow* Tiro's fist impacted Ranma's chest.  
  
Ranma didn't budge an inch. Instead he seemed to be musing over something.  
  
Tiro hastily removed his fist and shook his hand to relieve the sting in his knuckles. What was he made of, rock?  
  
Ranma shook his head. "I see I don't have much to work with here. You're going to have to spend some time with the weights if we're going to get anywhere with this."  
  
Tiro grumbled a bit at the appraisal of his strength, and swiftly began to regret getting into this.  
  
Ranma turned toward Sakura and gestured for her to try. Tiro was a bit stronger than what he figured was the average for his size, probably due to the combat training at the academy. He figured that Sakura would be weaker, she was a girl after all, but still in a reasonable range due to whatever exercises she did to keep her figure.  
  
Sakura bigsweated and looked unsteady. "What? Me?"  
  
Ranma looked at her, annoyed. "Yeah, c'mon. I don't have all day."  
  
She blinked, then nodded and steeled herself. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and launched herself forward.  
  
"KYAH!!!"  
  
She was quite surprised when her fist didn't hit any kind of solid object along its flight path, but instead kept sailing through the air far after she had extended it. Her momentum, combined with her lack of any substantial martial arts training and the fact that she had overextended trying to put more force into the strike, carried her farther than her legs did, and she ended up falling flat on her face.  
  
"Owwwwww............." She whined to nobody in particular.  
  
Ranma and Tiro sweatdropped.  
  
Sakura turned around and pointed to Ranma accusingly. "No fair! You dodged!"  
  
Ranma's sweatdrop grew bigger. "No, I didn't."  
  
Sakura blinked, then laughed nervously with her hand over her head to hide her own sweatdrop. "I, uh, guess I missed then!"  
  
Tiro looked back and forth between Ranma and Sakura. "Can I leave now?"  
  
Ranma was about to answer when he noticed Kyle run into the training room.  
  
Looking around, the lieutenant smiled. "Hey, who wants to gun down a group of terrorists?"  
  
The others blinked. "Huh?"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The Rhino Transport was a rather large vehicle. It had to be, to fit a maximum of 8 people inside plus armor them from most forms of conventional weaponry. It was about as tall as a big van, though a bit wider and longer. From the outside all that could be seen were the armor plates that covered the entire vehicle, with the thick, bullet-proof glass panels covering the front and sides of the front. The armor on the sides were at an angle to the ground so as to cover the eight wheels completely.  
  
Moving through the streets of Tokyo in rush hour, it was quite an intimidating sight.  
  
Across the side of the vehicle was painted the DAPC's own insignia, consisting of a small, unidentifiable creature (presumably some sort of alien) curled up in a fetal position inside a circle, with three stars lined up vertically next to it. It had been Kyle's idea. One of his better ones, actually.  
  
  
  
"Hey, get out of the way you! Police moving here!" Tycho yelled out the window as he sped up to reach an intersection before the light went red. He didn't quite make it, but he was already going so fast that he sped through without a problem.  
  
Kyle had to admit, though Tycho's interpretation of the traffic laws were a tad...... liberal, he was making very good time, and it had been a very smooth ride. He fully attributed the fact that they hadn't hit anything yet to luck on Wattai's part.  
  
"So what's the deal? What's going on?" Ranma still wasn't sure how he had been talked into this so easily.  
  
Snake turned toward him and grinned. "Well, we were listening in on encrypted radio frequencies, when we heard a police report that a large group of heavily armed Freedom's Angels assaulted a transport truck and hijacked it. For some reason though, they stopped right outside of Tokyo, and destroyed a large section of the highway they were traveling on to discourage pursuit. They set up a sort of outpost there, and SWAT teams have already engaged. The FA's apparently have some pretty heavy-duty hardware over at the battlefield, so we have to hurry if we're gonna get any action before the military arrives."  
  
Ranma blinked, then looked around. Everybody was here save the scientists, Junko, and Asuka.  
  
  
  
"Look alive people! Were coming up on the mission area!" Tycho grinned and sped up a bit, which was an impressive feat considering how fast he was already going.  
  
Ranma sighed and sat back, then frowned. "Hey, what's the fastest route to the area?"  
  
Kyle looked over at him. "The highway."  
  
Ranma seemed to think deeply about something. "And we're taking what route?"  
  
Kyle stared at Ranma. "Well, the highway of course."  
  
Ranma blinked. "The same highway that was blown up?"  
  
Tiro, Kyle, and Snake all looked at each other. "Oops."  
  
Tycho looked back at them. "Hey, what'd you guys say about the highway?"  
  
Sakura screamed and pointed to the front. "There's the edge! Look out!"  
  
Tycho turned around, but far too late. The Rhino sailed off the edge.  
  
Gravity looked up at the sophisticated hunk of metal, estimated how much it weighed, and then yelled 'hey, get over here'.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"  
  
As they plummeted to the ground, Ranma had a sudden epiphany and deduced that Ryoga was in Italy. He spent the remainder of the fall wishing that he could have thought of something more relevant.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
An awful long way away from Italy, but not at all that far from a plummeting armored transport, an older man with a certain tattoo depicting himself as a terrorist was busy barking orders to the numerous men taking cover behind huge chunks of shattered concrete that had once made up part of the highway.  
  
The men currently trading fire with police forces were doing it in the midst of a thick cloud of tear gas. The terrorists all had forms of breathing equipment on though, so the billowing smoke cloud only served to obscure the vision of both sides. The SWAT teams, after seeing the lack of effect from gas, had decided the hell with it and was now pouring automatic gunfire into the area.  
  
The biggest deciding factor were the mechs. The officers didn't know what to think of them, other than to make sure to stay out of their way. The Freedom's Angels seemed to have poured heavy resources into this operation, which was just plain confusing, considering the nature of the cargo they stole. The mechs were rather slipshod pieces of construction, being made from discarded scrap metal (and it showed), but they still had armor, and they still had guns. A chaingun and rocket launcher to be exact.  
  
The SWAT cars had been reduced to fiery heaps, providing just enough cover for the armored munitions vans in the back to remain intact. The police had only been able to destroy two of the six enemy mechs, and were now falling back both to reload their heavy weapons and keep from being cut up by the opposing behemoths.  
  
  
  
Right now, one of the four remaining battle machines was receiving a reload and quick check-up behind the front lines.  
  
A subordinate was trying to pass on the orders of the older man, but having significant trouble due to his own gas mask and all the noise generally associated with heavy gunfire.  
  
He slipped it off slightly and gave a solemn look to his commander. "Sir, there's no way we can hold this area. We've lost, and this operation was lost from the start. We should retreat now."  
  
The commander frowned. How this man had become part of a terrorist organization was beyond him. The man was incredibly meek and seemed to prefer logic and common sense over senseless violence. While those were qualities that most dangerous criminals looked down upon, they also made him indispensably competent in tactical situations.  
  
"What would you suggest, exactly?" He grunted out.  
  
The smaller man nodded. "For maximum efficiency, we should load those crates of explosives that we lugged around with us for no apparent reason onto the truck we captured, then arm them and drive it into the SWAT units. But we'll have to hurry before the military gets here."  
  
  
  
The commander nodded, then pointed to four other men to side. "You heard him! Move that thing into the truck!"  
  
They moved to respond to the command, but were effectively stopped by a large armored transport falling from the sky and landing right in their path.  
  
This got the attention of everyone around who wasn't being shot at. The four terrorists elected for moving heavy objects that no one else wanted to bother with simply stood there looking at it, puzzled.  
  
The commander blink-blinked, then read what it said on the side. "Property of the Department of Abnormal Phenomena Containment. We brake for nobody!" And below that, on a small bumper sticker, "Tokyo 3 or bust! Second Impact is coming!"  
  
The assembled terrorists all blinked. Then the hatch on top opened, and a sandy-haired man in light blue body armor popped up.  
  
"Excuse me! Are you part of that nasty group of terrorists known as the Freedom's Angels?"  
  
The men all nodded.  
  
Snake smiled. "Ah! Excellent! Just a moment please!" He ducked back into the vehicle.  
  
The men all looked at each other, then stepped a little closer to the transport.  
  
After a moment, a long metal apparatus poked out of the hatch, followed by the rest of the 80 mm. vulcan cannon and Snake, who smiled happily and lowered it, taking aim.  
  
The multi-barreled muzzle started to spin, and after a moment, it spit out a steady stream of armor-piercing bullets. The terrorists started ducking for cover, being taken completely by surprise.  
  
"Ha ha ha ha ha!! This is the police! Eat hot lead punks! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"  
  
From below, Tiro sweatdropped as he watched the ammo belt stream upwards like a gleaming, gravity-defying, metal waterfall. "I don't think it should be legal to enjoy your job this much. Even on Wednesday."  
  
  
  
Outside, the disorganized and panicking criminals had all managed to find pieces of cover, and were ducking behind them. Many of the terrorists fighting on the front had stood up in confusion from hearing gunfire coming from behind them, and in an utterly senseless waste of human life, were cut to pieces from bullets coming from both sides.  
  
The pilot in the mech that had been reloading had gotten over his shock and primed his chaingun, which had just been fed a reload. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, his rocket launcher likely wouldn't be reloaded any time soon, as the man who had been loading the ammo had ducked for cover behind the crate of spare rockets, which had been subjected to a brief burst of vulcan fire.  
  
Luckily for the pilot, Snake had been avoiding hitting the mech on purpose, hoping that he could hijack it later and put it on display in his living room. Thus he was quite surprised when heavy chaingun fire started striking the side of the Rhino, and he quickly ducked back inside.  
  
The mecha pilot slowly advanced, and the assembled armed criminals started coming to their senses and realizing that they still held the advantage of numbers.  
  
  
  
Inside the transport, a quick conference was being held.  
  
"You're trying to get us all killed, aren't you?" The way Tycho said it made it clear it wasn't a question.  
  
Snake rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop being such a crybaby. All we need is to utilize the element of surprise. It always works!"  
  
"Of course!" Kyle was sold.  
  
"Uh, so how do we do that?" Tiro was worried. He could still hear the ricochet of bullets on the outer armor.  
  
Snake frowned. "We'll need a distraction......" Suddenly he looked up. "Who here can dodge automatic machine gun fire?"  
  
The others stared at him in disbelief. Well, except for Ranma, who sighed the sigh of the damned and raised his hand.  
  
Snake grinned. "Excellent! You jump out the back and get their attention! All we need is a few moments to lay siege to the entire area!" He tossed aside the vulcan cannon and picked up a grenade launcher that looked way too big to be a grenade launcher.  
  
Ranma nodded and was about to jump out, when Sakura suddenly grabbed onto his leg.  
  
"You can't make him go! He could be killed!" Ranma protested immediately, saying that he could handle himself, and was promptly ignored.  
  
The others were about to support his argument, except that they all knew that he could, and most likely would, be shot into little pieces.  
  
*Boom!* The transport rocked slightly as the rocket struck the side. Luckily, the FA's couldn't afford armor-piercing ammunition, so the explosive simply detonated on the side with little real damage.  
  
The shock of the explosion was enough to make the guys inside scramble for the guns, and cause Sakura to fall on her face, letting go of Ranma.  
  
  
  
Back outside, two of the terrorists were trying to open the back door to the transport. The mech waited behind them, its chaingun ready to tear apart whatever was inside when it was opened.  
  
Back near the front lines, the bedraggled and battle-worn men had all fallen back and were trying to figure out what was going on. Though the SWAT teams now had no opposing fire save the other two retreating mechs (another one had been cut down by a lucky shot into the fuselage), they had their orders to hold their position until the military arrived.  
  
The men struggled with the latch, kicking it and occasionally stepping back and shooting at it.  
  
They were suddenly thrown aside roughly by an explosion as one terrorist found a rocket launcher and tried his luck against the side armor.  
  
He was quickly reprimanded by the commander for not warning them so that his comrades could get out of the way, never mind that he didn't fire at a more vulnerable spot, like the windows.  
  
  
  
The mecha pilot had gotten distracted by all the ruckus, and was therefore unprepared when somebody suddenly jumped out of the transport, landing right in front of it.  
  
For a moment the person just looked at it, as if judging something. The mecha pilot didn't quite know what to make of it. Then he remembered that he was supposed to kill everything that came out of the transport, and started revving up his chaingun.  
  
Ranma was still regarding the battle machine before him when he noticed that the barrel on its gun-arm was moving. He had only seen mecha before in some of Snake's weapon schematics in the garage and anime like Gundam Wing, so he had wanted to get a good look at it before he was forced to dodge bullets.  
  
Analyzing the situation, he realized that the gun's current position would lead a stream of bullets straight into the Rhino. Well, he couldn't let that happen, could he?  
  
Launching himself at the battle machine, he jumped up at an angle to it, then did a full force kick upward into its cockpit, which jutted out over its torso, before tucking himself into a full backflip and sailing over the mech.  
  
The unfortunate battle armor, which had much of its weight centered high upon it bipedal chassis, toppled backward from the blow. It fired its chaingun in vain as it fell, spitting bullets into the air, then hit the ground with a dull *thud*.  
  
Ranma landed behind it. The various terrorists filed the impossible feat of strength and dexterity in the back of their minds, and instead focused on their aim. They were about to open fire when the other male DA officers piled out of the transport.  
  
Tiro and Tycho, who were armed with pulse rifles, crouched onto the ground and immediately opened fire, not even bothering to aim first. A rhythmic, almost musical hum came from the deadly weapons as they sent bullets sailing across the battlefield. Kyle jumped past them and aimed a bulky weapon with three barrels set in a triangle at the mech, which was using its non-gun-arm to push itself back up. Pulling the trigger, three small rockets shot out and twisted around each other before converging with grim accuracy and lethal efficiency onto the battle armor. It exploded outward as its fuselage lit, spraying scrapmetal and slag outward in Ranma's direction, who had to jump out of the way. The nozzle at the end of the tri-rocket launcher barrel made a clockwise 120 degree turn for absolutely no reason.  
  
Snake took advantage of his companion's cover and aimed the too-big-to-be- a-grenade-launcher grenade launcher at an angle towards the area where some of their enemies were seeking protection behind huge chunks of concrete. With a grin and slight pull, a fairly large metal sphere popped out and arced into the middle of a small group of them.  
  
Tiro, Tycho, and Kyle all had to admit they were very impressed my the large inferno that engulfed that area.  
  
Snake laughed. "HA!!! Eat hot napalm death, scumbags! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" the others sweatdropped as he fired off three more. While distracted, however, they didn't give any cover fire, and a few stray bullets that struck the side of the transport reminded them that they weren't the only ones with guns. The officers beat a hasty retreat behind the Rhino for some cover, then started trading fire with the terrorists.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Sakura had stepped out behind the others and went to make sure Ranma was okay after toppling a 3-ton battle machine by himself. He seemed all right, and was acting very nonchalant about the whole occurrence, so she decided to leave the subject alone.  
  
She and Ranma had no interest in gunning down the remaining criminals, so they had wandered off toward the back of the area under the highway. This was where most of the highway had collapsed, so that it formed a barrier on the other side. Not that it would stop the military if they decided to come from this angle, but then Ranma had to think they were smart enough to plan on being gone by then.  
  
"Hey Ranma, look! That's the truck they hijacked!" Sakura ran up to the cab, and Ranma jogged up next to her.  
  
Indeed, there was the truck. Ranma didn't see what was so special about it. It was a normal 18-wheeler, with the standard large rectangular trailer with 'Lipton' printed on it in big red letters. On either side were several army trucks and large cars that had been converted into armored vehicles, as well as a few crates of explosives obviously set to blow up the huge piece of road creating a wall behind them.  
  
Sakura looked it over and Ranma came up behind her, staring at the side of the vehicle.  
  
"Wow! It must be transporting some sort of secret weapon to be disguised like this! Or maybe a secret weapons cache!"  
  
Ranma shrugged. Hell if he knew.  
  
  
  
They were still looking it over and thinking of what might be inside when a voice rang out behind them.  
  
"All right you government dogs! Put your hands in the air and drop your weapons!" The thug aiming a handgun stopped for a moment in thought. "Not necessarily in that order!"  
  
Sakura paled considerably and froze. Ranma turned around and sighed.  
  
"All right buddy. Gimme the gun." Ranma held out his hand.  
  
The terrorist blinked. Then he looked down at his handgun. Then he looked back up at Ranma. "Huh?"  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "You heard me. Gimme the gun."  
  
The man once again looked down at his weapon to make sure it was still a powerful handgun quite capable of killing someone at a fair distance. It seemed that way to him, so he looked back up at Ranma. "Why?"  
  
Ranma sighed. "So that I don't have to hurt you." He was seriously losing his patience with this moron.  
  
The man went through another few rounds of looking at his gun, then Ranma. "So, let me get this straight; if I don't hand over my gun, you're going to hurt me?"  
  
Ranma had reached the end of his line. "Look, I'll tell you one more time: hand over the friggin' gun, or I'm gonna hurt you, all right?" He actually managed to sound casual about it.  
  
Sakura had remained silent through all of this, and was only remaining silent due to the fact that the deer-in-headlights act had kept her pretty much unnoticed so far. Subconsciously, however, she was quite sternly asking herself what the hell Ranma thought he was doing.  
  
The thug considered Ranma's threat for a moment before simply shaking his head in confusion.  
  
"Look, I don't really understand all this, so I'm just gonna shoot you, okay?" he raised the gun to point at Ranma's head, and squeezed the trigger.  
  
Sakura had meant to say, 'No, it's not okay,' but with all the adrenaline and panic and all, it came out more like "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!"  
  
For the lone terrorist, the next few seconds were mostly a series of blurs. First Ranma's arm blurred, then his body blurred. It would have been okay if it was blurring backwards, like a dead man would blur, but he was blurring in more of a forward direction, towards him. There was a long blur, and suddenly his right hand was spared the weight of the gray blur that was his weapon, though it stung a little. Then there were several more blurs in front of his face, and before long he was on his back, and EVERYTHING was blurry.  
  
This really wasn't very fair to Sakura, who was already screaming and crying tears of sorrow for the brave, handsome police officer that had gotten shot standing up to a common terrorist, only to have to stop because that same officer had survived a shot to the head and had beaten the common terrorist into the ground before anybody could figure out he was still alive. Not that this was any great problem, but she was rather curious as to how it had happened.  
  
  
  
Ranma had yanked the guy up roughly and was proceeding to drag him around to the back of the truck when Sakura walked in front of him and started staring at him. After a little bit it started to bother him, especially at a time like this.  
  
"What? Is there something on my face?"  
  
Sakura blinked. "B-bullet... where......?"  
  
Ranma blinked himself, then pointed to the ground off to the side where he had tossed the bullet after grabbing it out of the air. The explanation accomplished, Ranma started dragging the man around to the back of the truck, as he had planned, a rather muddled Sakura trailing him.  
  
It wasn't long before his new prisoner started protesting the harsh treatment. "Hey, could ya be a little easy on the shoulder? I hurt it last week and it's been bothering me ever since."  
  
Sakura stopped in astonishment. This man had tried to kill them only seconds before and now he was asking favors?  
  
Ranma simply smiled amiably. "You know what I do whenever my shoulder's bothering me that helps a lot?"  
  
The terrorist blinked. "What?"  
  
*WHAM* The man's bad shoulder was slammed very solidly against the wall of the truck, denting it in slightly. Even Sakura felt a little sympathy. Just a little though.  
  
Ranma smirked. "Better?"  
  
He smiled weakly. "Much. Thanks." In truth, it did help. Now the rest of his body felt just as bad as his shoulder.  
  
Ranma yanked him over around the back, then swung open the lever and opened up the truck.  
  
"Now let's see what all this fuss is about!" Ranma helped Sakura up first, then followed, pulling the thug behind him.  
  
Sakura blinked, then inspected one of the numerous cardboard boxes stacked inside the truck. Opening it up, she took out a small, thin, paper envelope.  
  
"Well? What is all this?" Ranma leaned over her shoulder to get a good look.  
  
There was no sound for a few moments until Sakura responded. "Tea. Lipton brand tea."  
  
There was some more silence.  
  
"All of it? All of this is tea?"  
  
Sakura checked a few other boxes to make sure, but only found varying flavors of tea bags. "Uh huh."  
  
Ranma stood silent for a few seconds, then pulled the terrorist up to look him in the eyes.  
  
"You hijacked a truck full of tea?" he asked calmly.  
  
The man laughed nervously. "Well, ya see, there's this one guy that helped plan this, and he's new, so he kinda sent us after the wrong truck. We were supposed to hijack a weapons transport over on the east edge of Tokyo."  
  
Ranma chewed that thought over in his mind. "So when you found out you had just stolen a load of tea, you destroyed a large section of the highway and holed yourself up to defend it against the police?"  
  
The man blinked, then shrugged. "Wasn't my idea. A lotta the guys really wanted to shoot at something, and our commanding officer really isn't too bright, so we decided to make a stand here. We were expecting a heavy military escort for the weapons, see?"  
  
Ranma tossed him out of the truck.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
From Snake's perspective, the battle was going very well. They were still boxed in behind the transport and outnumbered, but their vastly superior weaponry (which Snake had always prided himself on) saw to their success.  
  
The entire ground around the transport was swathed with flame or dying embers. The wreckage of one of the other mechs adorned the space where it had tried to walk around the transport only to meet a trio of missiles head on. Snake had recently run out of ammunition for his napalm cannon, so he had exchanged it for Tiro's pulse rifle, as its previous owner was on the ground muttering prayer for salvation.  
  
Tiro wasn't Christian, but now seemed as good a time as any to start.  
  
  
  
One of the two remaining mechas fired off two rockets at the transport, causing the armored vehicle to shake heavily from the force of the detonation, and then immediately sprayed chaingun fire toward the front of the transport where they usually returned fire, while his companion battle vehicle covered the back.  
  
Kyle, in an uncharacteristic display of competence, stepped up onto Tiro's shoulders (to which he protested loudly; stating that he was trying to discover religion here) and fired a trio of rockets at the battle machine. As he stepped back down the nozzle at the end of his weapon made 1/3 of a clockwise turn for no real reason.  
  
The one real advantage that mechas held against conventional tanks, other than the fact that they looked much, much cooler, was mobility. As it was, with the three missiles twisting around each other in the air, the pilot really couldn't make out the point of convergence, and hence, detonation, until the dang things had already blown his legs off. He tumbled to the ground.  
  
His companion was now wondering what his actual chances were in this situation. All the heavy armor but his was disabled, most of the men were either dead or crawling away in agony, and he was swiftly running out of ammo.  
  
He was so deep in thought as to his strategic situation that he almost didn't see the trio of rockets streaming through the air towards him. He did, though, and managed to step back quickly enough to watch them detonate right in front of him. He returned fire with his chaingun, but it simply impacted the heavy transport's seemingly impregnable armor.  
  
He didn't see the missile behind him at all.  
  
Snake gave a whistle as he watched the mech explode, and gave a wave to the military helicopter that had fired the weapon.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The military units advanced past the confused SWAT teams, with tanks flanking the groups of soldiers on each side.  
  
Commander John Remerick, an American that had come over to work in Japan, raised the megaphone to his mouth from his position behind one of the tanks.  
  
"ATTENTION ALL OPPOSING FORCES!! YOU ARE NOW SURROUNDED AND OUTGUNNED!! RELINQUISH YOUR CONTRABAND AND GIVE YOURSELVES UP!!"  
  
There was no response, as was pretty much expected, so he prepared his men to move in.  
  
Then there was some commotion, and all the lights and guns were pinpointed on a lone figure that was crawling over the hill of rubble.  
  
The terrorist commander looked up at the many people with guns weakly. "I'm sorry! Take me! I give up! Just get me away from those lunatics! Please!"  
  
There was general confusion from that statement. Lunatics? Had his own men turned on him?  
  
John suddenly had an uneasy feeling, and started climbing the hill alone, much to the disdain of his men, who quickly followed. Reaching the top, him and his soldier viewed the destruction with a kind of revered awe.  
  
That is, until the commander spotted the only thing around that wasn't completely trashed, and found the logo on it.  
  
"JESUS NO!!! Not you guys again!!"  
  
Snake peeked around the transport. "Hey guys, it's that American army guy!"  
  
Kyle stepped out an waved. "Hi John!"  
  
Remerick collapsed to his knees and started crying as his forces looked about with total confusion.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma stirred his tea and took a sip. "Hmm. Not bad."  
  
Kyle nodded and gulped down the rest of his cup. Behind him, Snake was running through what would have been the debriefing notes, were they actually supposed to be at the battlefield. Things like ammunition used, enemy casualties, and damage to the Rhino.  
  
Ranma looked up. "So remind me again how come we got to keep the truck?" Tycho was even at that moment trying to park the 18-wheeler.  
  
Kyle shrugged. "Evidence." It had really been more of a spoils of war thing, but the military wouldn't accept that.  
  
"Ah." Ranma nodded and reached into the box for another tea bag. Sakura poured a little bit of sugar into her cup, then started gulping it down.  
  
"Hey Kyle, where did you put the........" Asuka trailed off as she looked at the various people in the room drinking tea, and Lipton boxes stacked around the office.  
  
"All right, what now?" the others could only look sheepish.  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
End Chapter 5 


	6. The Angels of Freedom

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
First, I'd like to say that I do not own Ranma, who is the only character from any anime that will be featured in this chapter. Second, I'd just like to say that in beloved memory of those that lost their lives in the World Trade Center bombing, major terrorist ass will be kicked throughout this chapter. However, there will be no references to said incident, as I do not feel it's yet appropriate to look upon this tragedy in such a light. That means that Bin Laden will not be in this chapter. Or any other one that I write. I'm sure you understand.  
  
  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 6  
  
The Angels of Freedom  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
"No no, the ratio of neural enzymes to normal body fluids is too high to be secreted at the normal metabolic capacity." The figure in a lab coat, undoubtedly a scientist, rechecked the figures on his console to be sure they were accurate.  
  
His partner frowned. "Well, then decrease the ratio until the biological factors are optimal. We'll have to start looking for a new chemical supplement to enhance the metabolism. Until then, you can-......" the man suddenly stopped talking.  
  
His compatriot looked up at him, wondering what had caused him to fall silent so suddenly. When he looked to where the other man's eyes were glued, the reason was actually quite obvious.  
  
  
  
Alexandra Tokima sauntered along the middle path of the large research facility, her slight smile the only acknowledgement of the two scientists' stares.  
  
All throughout the room, the reaction was much the same, with every male scientist stopping their work to stare at her, and every female scientist stopping their work to mutter about the idiocy of the opposite sex.  
  
Alex smiled a bit wider, keeping her eyes and her path set on a set of inconspicuous metal doors off to the side of the facility.  
  
Then, of course, there was old Yoshi, who continued ignoring her and typing away at his workstation. Deciding that she really didn't want the old man's attention in the first place, she simply put her nose up a little higher and reached for the knob.  
  
"Tokima, is it just me, or do you leave one more button of your blouse undone every day you come in?"  
  
Alex froze and bristled. Looking into the reflection on the doors, it was clear that the old scientist hadn't even turned around, and was still typing away at his computer.  
  
"Just because you have no fashion sense..." she muttered quietly as she passed through the doors, and into the long hallway, the polished steel of the walls catching every ray of light around her.  
  
She stepped through another pair of metal doors, into a typical meeting room, with a long wooden table with several chairs surrounding it.  
  
  
  
Alex sat down in one of the chairs on the side, and took a moment to compose herself, crossing her legs and buttoning up her outfit all the way. That accomplished, she fished a small remote control out of her pocket and pushed one of the buttons.  
  
"Activate command module. Password: venom."  
  
The was a high-pitched whine of machinery, and an obviously computerized voice came back to her. *VOICE RECOGNITION CONFIRMED. SUBJECT ALEXANDRA TOKIMA IDENTIFIED. ACCESS GRANTED, LEVEL BETA. COMMAND?*  
  
"Access wavelength frequency 87-4. Tell them I have my report ready."  
  
*CONFIRMED. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE FA HAS TAKEN A HEIGHTENED INTEREST IN YOUR PROJECTS. THEY ARE RATHER ANXIOUS TO HEAR FROM YOU.*  
  
Alex nodded, and a square from the wall on the far side of the room slid up to reveal a large screen. It turned on, revealing five shadows that one could just barely make out as human heads, and one black screen.  
  
Head #1 spoke. "Alexandra. It's good to hear from you again."  
  
Alex smiled and nodded. "Yes, it has been too long since my last report. I apologize, but the paperwork has been piling up. I find myself less often planning attacks and developing weapons, and more running the company."  
  
#3 shrugged. "Ah, well, I suppose we should get right down to the point. How goes Project Mobius?"  
  
Alex leaned back a little bit, her smile never wavering. "As you know, the first subject has passed all tests and is now in full-scale production. The second subject's production is proceeding ahead of schedule, and is now in the final optimization stages before its own mass production. Further prospects are being explored, but we require more time to research the gene therapies we've been manipulating."  
  
#2 nodded. "Yes, very good. We've learned that the government forces have named the subjects 'vamps' and 'carriers' respectively."  
  
"I like it. Has sort of a nice ring to it," mused #1.  
  
The fifth head spoke. "By the way, about the government......"  
  
Alex sighed, and her smile was quickly gone. "It would appear that through a combination of coincidence and sheer luck, a little-known department of police officers known as the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment stumbled upon the... vamps... at one of our final preliminary tests and managed to capture and test one."  
  
#5's silhouette seemed to loom slightly. "May I remind you, Tokima, that the creatures you are creating are far from mutant soldiers. They are terror weapons. And a part of that fear comes from the ignorance of those that rally against us. The more they know about their enemy, the better they will perform when fighting against it."  
  
Alex lowered her head slightly. "I understand sir. Again, I apologize."  
  
#1 rolled his eyes, though nobody could see clearly enough to catch the motion. "Geez 5, cut her some slack, wouldja? She's done her job."  
  
Alex looked up again. "I'm undeserving of your sympathy, but still, thank you...... uh, where is......"  
  
#3's shadowing hand rose up to wave the question off as if unimportant. "Eh, #2 had #6 assassinated last Thursday."  
  
"I did not!" #2 yelled, "You can't prove anything!"  
  
"Oh, would you come off it? Everyone knows you did it." #1 leaned back in his chair, making his figure even harder to discern.  
  
"There's no proof! No evidence! Hundreds of people had the motive!"  
  
#5 sighed. "Yes, but to be perfectly blunt, you're a terrible liar. I could tell you had offed him before it was even confirmed he was dead."  
  
#2 sweatdropped, which was mysteriously visible despite the shadows. "Well... I mean... there's no proof! Couldn't you at least keep your observations to yourselves?"  
  
Alex coughed, suddenly making herself once again the center of attention. "Also... #4...."  
  
#3 shrugged. "He's out sick. We just put a mannequin in his chair."  
  
Alex sweatdropped heavily.  
  
#1 settled back into a more serious posture. "In any case, we've reached a crucial point in our conquest of the corporate machine. With a few more political victories, the Freedom's Angels will lay the foundation for a free society, one run through power and economics! A strong society!"  
  
Nobody could tell, but #5 grinned. "Umbrella Corporation's last research center was looted and destroyed last week. It took a huge number of men, and most of their resources were lost to us, but we were able to salvage a complete genetic printout of the retrovirus. It has already been sent to Yoshi for study and development."  
  
Alex paled slightly and quickly ran the thought over in her head. As a fairly high-ranking member of the Freedom's Angels, she was allowed a fair level of access to most of their intelligence files, and Umbrella Corporation's experiments were as sick and twisted as they came, even to her eyes. With a wacko like Yoshi using that research, who knew what would happen?  
  
#3 continued. "We've also begun 'negotiations' with a new company that may be competing with you in the field of genetic mutagens, a startup known as Sintek. Their particular brand of study will definitely come in handy in the future."  
  
Before Alex could say anything, #5 spoke again. "It should also be noted that we've finished our takeover of Genom. What little they had assembled has already been destroyed, disbanded, or stolen."  
  
"It's rather a good thing too," piped up #2, "I don't know what would've happened if these...... 'Boomers' had gone into full-scale production. The plans we've recieved outline some very powerful weapons."  
  
#5 nodded. "Which is why we need you to take a step up in your attacks against Shiromir. As you are doubtlessly aware, right now we recieve most of our supplies from questionable sources and at sub-standard quality. These materials are useless towards the construction of Genom's creations. We must take Shiromir Industries as soon as possible before full-scale production can begin. Understood?"  
  
Alex nodded and stood up. "Of course, sir."  
  
"Sit back down, Tokima, we're not done with you yet," #1 admonished. She did so.  
  
#2 spoke up. "Say now, how's the CEO of Wraith doing these days?"  
  
Alex's lip twitched slightly. "He's doing very well. In fact, I don't think he comes to his office anymore except to flirt with his secretaries and pick up his paycheck."  
  
"Then he hasn't been contributing fully to the recovery of his company or this new research his people are engaging in?"  
  
"He hasn't been contributing at all." Alex stated bluntly. "All Warris is concerned about now is money and sex. He came to us begging to help him get back on his feet, and then handed all of his work over to us and occasionally stopped by to tell us how great a job we're doing."  
  
"I see..." #5 mused, "well, at least he isn't curious about our experiments, but I think he's still outlived his usefullness. I'll leave his unfortunate accident up to you, Tokima."  
  
She grinned maliciously. "Thank you sir. I'm honored."  
  
#1 leaned forward. "Now, just one more thing Tokima. This DAPC. They're the ones that destroyed our carrier on its first public test, correct?"  
  
Alex nodded, not really concerned with it. "Correct. I wouldn't worry about them though. I've looked into their files."  
  
#2 leaned forward. "Really? What have you found?"  
  
Alex chuckled. "Only that they're the most pathetic group of government agents in Japan, possibly in all of Asia. Their department is well funded, but most of the officers are idiots. Other than one of their officers, I don't think there's anything special about them at all."  
  
#2 seemed to lean in even further. "Which one?"  
  
Alex blinked. "Well, there was the dossier on one Ranma Saotome. Much of the information was blank or non-applicable, and his marital status was referenced to a different document. Other than possibly being a criminal trying to pass himself off as an officer, I didn't give him another thought."  
  
#5 hit a button off-screen. "Tell me, would this... Ranma Saotome happen to look like this?"  
  
Suddenly, the sixth screen flashed with static, and was soon replaced by a still-motion shot of Ranma jumping out of the Rhino APC.  
  
Alex shifted uncomfortably, wondering what they were leading up to. "Yes, that matches the picture in his file."  
  
"This picture is a freeze-frame of the video captured during our ill-fated raid on a truckload of tea. Do you recall that little incident?" #5 asked, almost accusingly.  
  
She should have been nervous from his tone, but she wasn't. She was too busy trying not to laugh. A small squad of mechs and a full squad of troops to capture a Lipton truck! And they failed! She felt sorry for the poor bastard in charge of that operation.  
  
"Y-Yes I *snicker* recall that little in-incident *giggle*."  
  
#5 tried to glare at her, but once again the lack of light made the gesture pointless. "Good. Now watch the video."  
  
The freeze-frame started moving, and Alex settled down into her chair, smile still on her face, as Ranma began moving. Among all else she found his form easy on the eyes, so she could stand to watch him for a little bit.  
  
Her smile died a slow, painful death as she watched him flip-kick a mecha onto its back.  
  
Her eyes started growing as his body blurred around spouts of automatic gunfire.  
  
She leaned forward as someone off-camera threw a grenade at him.  
  
Then she fell back into her chair as he caught it, looked at it, then pulled the pin and threw it back at its source.  
  
The screen went dark.  
  
#1 coughed. "All of our men at the battle either died, surrendered, or ran. The armored squadron was completely destroyed. All the vehicles were confiscated, including the Lipton truck itself. Whether or not the DAPC are a bunch of idiots, they somehow attacked from behind our lines and singlehandedly dispatched a majority of our forces."  
  
#2 jumped in again. "This recording indicates that we must take a step up in dealing with local authorities." He paused. "And in troop weapons training."  
  
Alex twitched in her chair.  
  
#5 reached off-screen again. "In any case, you are instructed to deal with them in any way you see fit. Right now we have our hands full managing our recruits and other resources. In any case, make sure that these problems are dealt with before they start hindering our productivity. You are dismissed." He pushed the button, and his screen went black, followed soon after by all the screens except #4. Eventually someone remembered that the mannequin couldn't push the button by itself, and turned the screen off themselves.  
  
  
  
Alex sat in silence for a few moments, digesting this new information.  
  
She sighed. "Computer. Deactivate signal."  
  
*CONFIRMED. COMMAND?*  
  
"Notify Professor Konta immediately. Tell him I want to see him. Then deactivate."  
  
*CONFIRMED. PERSONNEL NOTIFIED. HAVE A NICE DAY.*  
  
There was an audible whine as the machinery shut down, and after a few moments Yoshi strolled into the room.  
  
"Why hello. What can I do for you?" He smiled up at her.  
  
She scowled, then threw Ranma's file at him. "For one thing, you can wipe that stupid grin off your face!"  
  
Yoshi blinked, then readjusted his glasses and picked the folder up off the floor. "I may be mistaken, but I sense something of a tone of hostility. Is something wrong?"  
  
"My, how perceptive you are," she commented dryly. "Look, I want every last bit of information you can gather on this Saotome gentleman. I want every space in this dossier filled, if with nothing else than with an explanation as to why we can't attain the data." She paused, as if considering something. "And I want whatever document it is that contains his marital status."  
  
The aged scientist blinked and cocked his head to one side. "Are you sure about that?"  
  
Alex blinked. "Of course I'm sure! Now stop wasting my time and get to work!"  
  
Yoshi shrugged, then waddled out the door. Alexandra slumped down into her chair and started massaging her forehead.  
  
She was on her way to formulating an excellent plan that would prove the end of all her problems when a large, heavy object landed next to her, shaking the entire table.  
  
Alex jumped up, startled, and nearly fell out of her chair when she saw Yoshi wipe the sweat from his forehead.  
  
It had undoubtedly been accumulated from carrying the ludicrously big book that was currently making a permanent indentation in the wooden table. It's cover was roughly 1.5' by 1' and it was at least 6 inches thick.  
  
Alex blinked, and then asked, slightly hysterical, "What the hell is this thing?"  
  
Yoshi cleaned his glasses on his shirt as he answered. "The document containing Saotome's marital status."  
  
She stared at him, then stared at the book. "It's in here?"  
  
The scientist rolled his eyes as he put his glasses back on. "No, this is it. A compressed 200-volume history of all the engagements to one Ranma Saotome by way of parental arrangement, tribal law, pure circumstance, supernatural phenomenae, and occasionally fate and/or destiny. It is also cross-indexed with other engagements or developing relationships with the betrothed, specific martial arts styles of the betrothed, and what the betrothed's parents have sworn to do to one Genma Saotome if one Ranma Saotome doesn't comply with their particular contracts. It also lists the past engagements that have been declared void due to martial arts contests, the bride being chased away, or the betrothed finding out that Ranma was in fact a male." He shrugged. "For your convenience, all those arrangements made with other males are grouped in appendix D. The information to complete the rest of the dossier will need to be investigated, and you can expect it sometime next week. Will that be all?"  
  
Alex didn't respond. She was currently in an awkward position half-falling out of her chair, and her hair was sticking out at odd angles.  
  
"Very well then, I'll leave you to review the data. Sayonara!" Yoshi smiled and left, whistling the whole way.  
  
  
  
Alexandra didn't budge for another 20 seconds, and she fell the rest of the way out of her chair.  
  
Sighing wearily, she stood up and opened the cover, flipping past the copyright page and the Tokyo Times literature reviews to get to the table of contents.  
  
'Hmmm... perhaps I should plot Warris' assassination first. This could take a lot of time.'  
  
She placed her finger down on the first item, which was apparently a 40- page introductory summary of Ranma Saotome's engagements entitled, "Love is Hell".  
  
"...................... Yes............. I think I'll kill Warris first."  
  
She closed the book and calmly walked away.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
(Saturday)  
  
Asuka cleared her throat meaningfully. "*Ahem* Tycho Wattai, in light of your good behavior, fairly good service, and your reluctance to leave me alone, I am hereby withdrawing your suspension from this department. Welcome back," she declared in an imperious voice.  
  
She wasn't even looking at Tycho, who was in fact kneeling on the floor in front of her, his eyes shining. "Oh thank you! Thankyouthankyou!!" He dove and hugged her legs, tears streaming from his eyes.  
  
"Let. Go. Of me." There was a definite drop in the surrounding temperature, and Ranma, Sakura, and Tiro shuddered involuntarily.  
  
Tycho was on the other side of the room before anyone could blink. "Sorry, sorry."  
  
Asuka glared at him before turning around and speaking to Tiro, who was clearly ignoring her in favor of trying to look down Sakura's shirt.  
  
Ranma continued watching the news, in which a group of Freedom's Angels were holding a crowd hostage in a shopping center. He had wanted to go there himself and help, but Asuka had stopped him, saying that it was out of their jurisdiction. It sounded stupid to him, but he figured there must be some reason why they ran things the way they did.  
  
*Here we can see the terrorists up on the main podium, between the loudspeakers. The terrorist leader is currently giving a speech of some kind, while his subordinates have their weapons aimed to open fire right into the crowd, and have threatened to do so, if the city commences with military or police action against their cause.*  
  
Ranma shook his head sadly and gulped down some more of his soda.  
  
*Police forces are currently positioned around the area, but don't have authorization to move in for fear of civilian casualties. I'd like to take this time to remind our viewers that hostage situations are very delicate operations and-... wait a minute. There seems to be a disturbance among the main police force stationed outside the shopping center... I'm not sure what's going on...*  
  
At that moment a rocket smashed into the podium and detonated, sending the surprised criminals tumbling to the ground in the background. The captive audience (bud-um cha!) quickly dispersed, leaving the Angels of Freedom to pick themselves out of the rubble caused by the explosion.  
  
Unfortunately, this subjected them to a outburst of maniacal laughter, and a far more substantial outburst of heavy vulcan fire.  
  
The camera zoomed out a bit more, and the source of the gunfire was soon apparent.  
  
"Hey look! It's Snake!"  
  
Sakura looked over and gasped. Asuka stopped strangling Tiro, and let his body drop onto the floor.  
  
"My God, no......"  
  
From what the camera could catch, the terrorists were reassembling and trying to return fire, but were being cut down too fast to mount any real defense.  
  
*It would appear that a vigilante has appeared on the scene! He's dispatched nearly all the terrorists already and is even now-*  
  
*Hey, what are you doing here? It's dangerous, you know.*  
  
"Hey, Kyle's there too!" Sakura squealed.  
  
The reporter immediately zeroed in on him. *Sir! Do you know anything about these vigilante actions?*  
  
Kyle blinked. *Vigilante? Who, Snake? He's a police officer, same as me.*  
  
The reporter blinked. *But I thought police actions had been restricted until the hostage situation could be resolved.*  
  
Kyle scratched the back of his head. *No kidding? Uh........... I'd have to check on that and get back to you.*  
  
*Gaugh!!* One of the criminals collapsed onto the ground a few meters away, his body centered in a pool of blood.  
  
Kyle ignored it, slipping his hands in his pockets. *What are you doing here, anyway? What's that thing you have there?*  
  
The reporter blinked again, then took a moment to stare at her microphone. *It's a, uh, microphone sir. I'm from Channel 8 News.*  
  
Kyle blinked. *News? You mean like TV?*  
  
She nodded.  
  
Kyle looked at the camera, as if noticing it for the first time. *You mean I'm on TV?*  
  
She nodded again, this time with a sizable sweatdrop on her head.  
  
"Aye-aye-aye," Asuka muttered, her face in her hands.  
  
*Whoa! Cool! Hi Mom!* Kyle started waving to the camera, which was trying to move towards the battle scene now that the crossfire had stopped.  
  
  
  
Snake stepped out into the open, his sandy hair waving slightly in the light breeze, which also served to draw away the smoke wafting from the barrels of his vulcan cannon.  
  
"Terrorists killed: 13. Civilian casulaties: 0. Hoo yeah!"  
  
He shot a glance at the cover he had used during battle, an oversized fiberglass statue of Sailor Chibi Moon, now riddled with bullets, and smiled.  
  
"And nothing of value was lost!"  
  
Tossing the VC over his shoulder, and stopping to pick up the rocket launcher, Snake left the scene, the bloody corpses of the terrorists and the countless numbers of spent ammo casing the only evidence he was ever there.  
  
  
  
The camera zoomed out slowly as he walked away, giving the whole scene a 'hero walking into the sunset' effect.  
  
Asuka turned off the TV.  
  
"So how come they get to go and I don't?" Ranma complained.  
  
Asuka's fist shook noticeably, and she had to restrain that arm with her other hand.  
  
"Because they outrank you." Asuka answered simply.  
  
Suddenly the lights flickered, and there was some very loud commotion from upstairs, which drew everyone's attention away from the previous crisis.  
  
"Good God of wine and whiskey! He really is alive this time!"  
  
"RAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!"  
  
"Christ, he's breaking free! Run for it Yamma!"  
  
There was some more ruckus from upstairs, followed by the DAPC's science and medical experts evacuating the building as if their lives depended on it, which they probably did.  
  
Asuka started rubbing her head again. Tiro reached under a desk and pulled out two shotguns.  
  
Ranma took one and loaded it.  
  
*Cha-chunk* "Well, this is still better than those mutant mealworms they created on Friday."  
  
Tiro shuddered. *Cha-chunk* "Agreed. Well, let's go kill it."  
  
Sakura sighed. "I'll get the mop."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Alex frowned as she looked over the latest reports from the FA operations. Three operations out of four had failed, and the one that had succeeded had only managed to garner a small supply of weaponry to bolster their dwindling arsenal. Running a huge criminal orginization, particularly one that relied mainly on satisfying the desires of lower-class ex-convicts well enough so that they'll shoot what you ask them to, was quite expensive. Properly equipping them was even more expensive, especially as guns were already illegal in Japan, and more and more weapons smugglers were growing wary of Freedom's Angels and their considerable reputation.  
  
'We've attracted too much attention, so naturally it's becoming harder to find allies. Which is where I come in.' With Wraith's biochemical labs and DNA replication facilities, they could grow soldiers. And with Genom's plans and Shiromir's factories, they could build more.  
  
So far the FA's recruitment propaganda had been fairly effective, though the number of people who joined could hardly form an army. So someone had come up with the idea of destroying prisons and releasing the prisoners. Many of the convicts joined for the promise of being able to do whatever they wanted, plus strike back at the society that imprisoned them. Some joined out of gratitude. Most though, simply didn't have anywhere else to go.  
  
Unfortunately, prisons were almost as hard to break into as they were to break out of. Operations like that cost time, lives, munitions, and money.  
  
  
  
She pushed those thoughts from her head as she entered the lobby of the hotel. Hoga Warris had, as befit his personality and wealth, chosen to host a small business meeting in a cushy luxury hotel in the most expensive suit the place offered.  
  
It didn't take a person of Alexandra's intellect to assume that Warris wanted to do much more than discuss the affairs of his corporation.  
  
  
  
Lost in thought, she made her way to the elevators, ignoring all the attention her very presence created. Several bellboys pushed and shoved to get to her first, only to stop short when they realized she didn't have any luggage.  
  
She entered the elevator and hit the button for the top floor.  
  
As the matter of affairs entered her thoughts, her mind was quickly drawn back to the huge book that passed for a file on Saotome's marital status.  
  
Frankly, the matter boggled her mind, and she regretted asking Yoshi for it, and regretted actually taking the time to read it even more. It had given her little useful information, save that this Ranma character had traveled a lot in his youth, and that he was apparently quite the womanizer. The last point she supposed could be useful; it would make him that much easier to seduce and assassinate if it came down to that. Hell, if she could convince him to join the FA she might even keep him for herself; he did have a fine body.  
  
  
  
Smirking at the thought, she stepped out of the elevator as the doors slid open.  
  
She nodded to the girl in a bellboy's uniform who was standing just next to the elevator, then walked briskly down the hall and knocked on a large door.  
  
The door swung open widely, and she was treated to the despicable sight of Hoga Warris grinning at her.  
  
"Why Alex! It's so good to see you again! Come in, come in!" Alex grimaced as she entered, feeling his eyes travel up and down her body even as she faced away from him.  
  
"Yes Warris, the... pleasure... is all mine." She didn't bother trying to hide her obvious disgust at his antics; he never noticed any way.  
  
Hoga Warris was 55 years old, and was the type of guy that should be well on his way to retirement. The years had not been kind to him, and Alex suspected that he had to pay for all of his 'female companionship' nowadays.  
  
Warris sat down at the edge of his spacious bed, and laid a hand on the phone. "Let me call down for some drinks-"  
  
"I already have," Alex interrupted, "they'll be up here in a minute. I don't intend to be here for long."  
  
Warris sighed. "Very well, I suppose we had best get to business." It was said with a slightly bitter edge to it as Hoga settled down. No matter what he did, he had never been able to get Alexandra in the sack. The woman simply didn't want to cooperate, a standpoint that Warris intended to correct as soon as possible. Women were only good for keeping notes and keeping your bed warm, in his opinion.  
  
Alex nodded. "I'll get straight to the point. My superiors want you to purchase a new petrochemical plant that just opened up to boost our income."  
  
Warris blinked. "What? Why?"  
  
She leaned back slightly. "Well, Wraith Labs simply isn't producing like it used to be, and because of that, the Freedom's Angels are supplying much needed resources to cover your company's operating costs, as well as your own considerable salary. Even now, a majority of Wraith's revenue is made through patents, as all the factories have now been retrofitted to produce our bioweapons."  
  
Warris blinked again. "They have? Seriously?"  
  
"Yes. The FA would also appreciate a... personal contribution to our efforts in freeing Japan from the weak, corrupt entities that currently reign over this proud nation. The same entities that almost cost you your business."  
  
Warris leaned back a little. "Well... that's, uh, a lot to ask." Suddenly a light seemed to turn on over his head. "Tell me, if I were to help you with these things, what would I get in return?"  
  
Alex raised an eyebrow. "You mean besides the protection of the Freedom's Angels, the freedom from taxes and law, and the promise of a position of economical power in our new Japan?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Please, spare me. I was thinking of a more... immediate incentive." He leaned forward, smiling lecherously. Alex didn't budge.  
  
*Knock knock knock*  
  
"The door's open," Alex called without looking.  
  
Warris looked over her shoulder, annoyed at being interrupted at such a crucial moment, until he realized that the person bringing in the drink tray was a busty young woman.  
  
She wheeled the cart around between them, and Warris reached into his robe pocket and took out a wad of bills.  
  
"Let me take care of that, dear." He started counting his yen in front of her.  
  
"It's already paid for sir." She lifted the cover off the two bottles of brandy.  
  
"Well then, here's a little spending cash for you." He slipped a few thousand yen into her pocket, taking the opportunity to feel her up.  
  
Visibly shuddering, the young woman looked at Alex, and unspoken communication passed between them.  
  
"Th-thank you sir. Have a good day." the girl quickly left the room, and bitter disappointment once again reigned over Hoga's features.  
  
"Really Warris, you should learn to control yourself. You're almost old enough to be her grandfather." She poured herself a glass of liquor and took a long drink.  
  
She had to force the liquid down her throat when she saw Warris leering at her again.  
  
"You're right, of course. I should be looking for someone a bit more... mature, right?"  
  
"Yes. Perhaps you could go pick up a girlfriend at a nursing home."  
  
Warris nearly fell over, taken aback.. "Wha-what?"  
  
Alex continued, finally managing to enjoy herself. "Or if you'd prefer someone who wouldn't object so much to your attentions, you could always look into a mortuary."  
  
His expression of surprise quickly turned to anger. "How dare you! Who do you think you are?!"  
  
Alex laughed lightly. "I'm sorry. I've been saving those lines since the very first day you tried to sleep with me. Seeing how this is the last time I'll see you, alive that is, I thought I'd finally use them."  
  
Warris paled. "What? You... you're going to kill me?" He was barely able to choke out the question; suddenly his body seemed quite weak and tired.  
  
She laughed louder. "Me? No. Not me. By the way, I think there's something on your leg." She smirked at him, then collected one of the bottles of liquor and left the room as he clawed at his leg.  
  
Screaming in, Hoga tried to pry off the vamp attached to him, but its grip was firm and the CEO of Wraith Labs soon lapsed into unconsciousness.  
  
  
  
Alexandra was smiling warmly as she entered the hallway and directed that smile onto her assistant, who was standing next to the door.  
  
"Well, it's up to you to finish up. When he wakes up, attract his attention to get him into the hall, then scream to draw some witnesses out of their rooms."  
  
The girl nodded and began stripping off the bellboy uniform, revealing a simple skirted outfit underneath. Alex accept the clothing and folded it under her arm. Bei was an accomplished hand-to-hand fighter, and would have no trouble fending Warris' mindless body off until the special poison within that particular vamp finished its work and consequently finished his life.  
  
"Oh, and Bei?" The girl stood at attention, eager to recieve any further orders.  
  
"If possible, could you give him a good kick between the legs? For me?" Both women shared a quiet giggle, and as Alex entered the elevator, a slight spring could be detected in her step.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
(Monday)  
  
*Psht* *Calling all cars, calling all cars, this is an emergency. I repeat, we have sighted a carrier at the Midori outlet center.* *Pshhhhhht* *Target appears heavily damaged, though it has already dispatched several officers. Requesting backup.* *Psht*  
  
Ranma was quite sure that he was the only one in the car with the level of perception necessary to see how close they were coming to being killed outright. Tycho took the word 'emergency' and took it to mean 'find out how fast the car can go'.  
  
"Wattai! Look out for that-!"  
  
*Clang* Tiro's shouted warning died in his mouth as the car missed the light post by mere centimeters, and fell back into the distance, along with the driver side mirror.  
  
Kyle shook his head from his position in the back seat. That was going to leave a mark.  
  
"Would you slow down?!" Ranma would have slugged him one already, but reasoned that the only thing worse than having Tycho at the wheel was having no one at the wheel, especially at this speed.  
  
"Sure! As soon as we get there!" Tycho laughed at his own little joke, and stopped just in time to swerve around the one lone car that had not evacuated the shopping center parking lot.  
  
Narrowing his eyes slightly, Tycho leaned forward and pumped the gas pedal even further to pick up speed as he angled his way between the curb that set off the parking spaces, and prepared to turn before he hit the curb that set off the sidewalk.  
  
Ranma and Tiro gulped, and prayed that nothing bad would happen.  
  
Then Kyle opened his mouth.  
  
"Wattai!"  
  
Startled, the overzealous driver quickly turned around. "What?"  
  
"Look out for the curb!"  
  
Suppressing a groan, Tycho turned around and slapped a hand over his eyes in exasperation, which cost him the few precious nanoseconds he had left to actually make the vital turn.  
  
A car tire hit a 90-degree cement corner.  
  
The car was soon airborne.  
  
  
  
The carrier grunted to itself as it searched out more victims, the heat sensors in the empty pits of its eye sockets searched hungrily for human warmth, human energy, to appease its touch.  
  
Black ooze flowed slowly from its wounds, each one eventually being plugged voluntarily or other wise by one of the vamps that swarmed inside it. They were fairly small holes, made by low caliber handguns, and didn't even serve to slow the creature down as it stalked through the evacuated shopping center.  
  
Suddenly it turned. There was a considerable concentration of heat to its left.  
  
Had it actual optical organs rather than crude heat sensors, it would've noticed that the heat source was coming at him rather quickly from behind a 10-foot bronze likeness of Godzilla.  
  
*WHAM!!*  
  
  
  
*SMASH!!*  
  
The statue fell heavily onto the concrete ground, the DAPC car being stuck on it back virtue of the several spikes on Godzilla's back that were firmly embedded into the bottom of the automobile.  
  
Those unfortunate enough to be in that car each released groans of varying intensity.  
  
Tycho sighed. "I hope this flying car thing doesn't become a theme with us."  
  
Kyle looked out the window, and down at the growing pile of black muck that was collecting under the statue.  
  
"Hey guys! Mission accomplished! How cool is that?"  
  
"Hey Ranma, is it just me, or does it seem like these things are getting easier to kill?" Not getting an immediate response, Tiro looked over the back of the passenger seat and sweatdropped.  
  
Ranma had neglected to reply both because his face was currently embedded in the dashboard, and because he was busy promising himself that he would never forget to put on his seatbelt ever again.  
  
Tiro turned to Tycho. "This is it. Seriously. You're not allowed to drive any more."  
  
Tycho gaped at him. "But... but you can't do that! This is what I live for!"  
  
"Not for long, you won't." Ranma muttered darkly.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Alex sighed and rubbed her forehead.  
  
"This is excellent work Bei. Congratulate your agents for me."  
  
Bei blinked. Her boss had just praised her, but looked anything but happy. "Is there something wrong, Miss Tokima?"  
  
Alex frowned and sat down on her desk. "Well, while this data does tell me a lot about his fighting ablities, which is really his most interesting aspect, from the looks of it it was put together from rumors."  
  
Bei bigsweated. "You're, um, very perceptive, Miss Tokima. As a matter of fact, almost everyone in Nerima, which is the district we traced him to, had heard of him, but few actually knew much about him. Though everyone interviewed agreed that he was an extremely powerful martial artist, and some kind of perverted playboy. Some of the girls had heard stories of him hosting battles in the girls' baths and occasionally breaking into the girls' locker rooms."  
  
Alex nodded. "Right. If we can assume that this is true, even this little bit about him throwing energy blasts from his hands, then that's going to make him tough to deal with. This man downed a GC-411 battle mech by kicking it in the torso, bei."  
  
Bei sweatdropped and shrugged.  
  
Alex took a sip of coffee, then looked over some of the less vital information. Apparently he had disappeared at age 18, failing to uphold the Tendo engagement (pg. 297), and because of that his parents had disowned him. Not that it mattered much, as Ranma had been long gone and probably still didn't even know. Genma Saotome was currently hospitalized after being beaten half to death by a mob of angry parents and guardians with engaged daughters (specifically the ones on pages 58-280).  
  
Ranma had in fact traveled a lot, from Japan to Korea to China, and there were even a few girls waiting for their fiancee in Siberia. How Genma had reportedly gotten by in these countries only speaking his native dialect was a mystery.  
  
Then there was the connected rumors, from ridiculous things like Chinese Amazons and ghost cats to the mysterious red-headed pigtailed girl. Some claimed she was obviously Ranma's sister, some thought she was another fiancee or perhaps his secret lover, while a suprisingly large portion, which she hoped would get their heads examined, actually claimed that Ranma and the redhead were one and the same.  
  
From there the report went on to make a series of guesses as to the workings of Ranma's life, mostly based on contradictory sources, she suspected.  
  
She handed her assistant the folder. "Thank you Bei. You've done good work."  
  
Bei blinked. "Miss Tokima? Uh... what are we going to do about Saotome?"  
  
Alexandra smiled at her. "Saotome is a very special man. And as such, dealing with him requires very special measures. Here," she took out a slip of paper and handed it to Bei, "call this number, please."  
  
Bei looked confused, but walked over to the phone and started dialing.  
  
Alex's smile widened slightly as the electronic dialing tone sounded, and swallowed the rest of her coffee.  
  
'Soon, Ranma, soon we will see what you are truly capable of. And if you survive, well, it looks like I may have another project on my hands.'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
(Wednesday)  
  
"Atchoo!"  
  
Ranma sniffled and got up from his lounge chair, which was resting on the roof of the DAPC headquarters.  
  
"Funny, why do I get the feeling that should've happened two days ago?" He wondered aloud.  
  
  
  
Over on the other end of the roof, Snake was explaining to Junko how to aim and operate the massive and totally unnecessary missile turrets that were posted there. Junko wasn't really interested, but she had dedicated herself to getting to know all the male officers better (except Ranma, since he was taken... sort of), so she tried hard to pay attention.  
  
"So you see, after you rotate the turret and adjust the firing angle, you arm the missile with this button here," he flipped up the casing and pushed the button, which turned red.  
  
Junko nodded mechanically. It was sort of fascinating, but not so much as how this man could've actually found two missile turrets to mount onto the roof of a building in the middle of the city.  
  
"And then you choose from the valid targets with this cursor here, see? You can fire a missile without a lock, though. To fire a missile at any time, just hit this." He slapped the large, rectangular button to emphasize the simplicity of the device. It lit up.  
  
*Fwoom!* The roar of a rocket taking off into the sky blew Ranma and Tiro off their lounge chairs.  
  
Snake sweatdropped and had the decency to look embarrassed. "Oops."  
  
The unguided missile traveled its arc upward, then, with no target to pursue, pointed down and began a speedy descent onto a wide, two-story building.  
  
Ranma rushed to the edge of the roof. From that vantage point, it was possible to make out the words on the banner over the building's doors, proclaiming it the soon to be finished 'Largest Pokemon Toy Store in the World'. Ranma rolled his eyes, as this was clearly evident from the huge fiberglass pikachu that adorned the building's roof.  
  
*KABOOM!!!*  
  
The missile hit, and Pikachu was gone, along with the entire second story of the building.  
  
Those gathered stood at the edge of the roof, staring unbelievingly at the destruction.  
  
"Eh," Ranma shrugged. "No big loss." He walked back to his chair.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Yoshi Konta looked about his lab with a frown, walking amongst the multi- million dollar equipment and the genetic data printouts so complicated that only him and a select few of his collegues could understand them.  
  
He took a moment to observe the carrier suspended in a tube of liquid on the far side of his lab, before shaking his head at it.  
  
"Bah! Is this the best I can do? What are you? You are nothing but an ugly robot meant to scare people! I want more than that! I can do better than that!"  
  
After a moment of recovering from his passionate outburst, and kind of wishing that he had an audience other than the semi-dead creature in the nutrient water, he cocked his head slightly in thought.  
  
"Hmmm... I feel like......... creating something new today." His gaze darkened, though a grin slowly spread over his face.  
  
Sliding a hand into his pocket, he withdrew a vial containing a green liquid. The vial was labeled [Umbrella].  
  
Grinning happily to himself, he inserted the tube into one of his microscope fixtures.  
  
"It's a wonderful day to play God!"  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Statues of popular Japanese characters/monsters destroyed in this chapter: 3  
  
  
  
End Chapter 6 


	7. Pathway to Hell

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Let's see now... Ranma doesn't belong to me, neither does Resident Evil's T virus. That's about it... crud, was that a spoiler right there? I hope not...  
  
  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Pathway to Hell  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
"I'm telling you, it 'aint natural. Things like this don't just happen." The construction worker scratched behind his ear in irritation as he regarded the steel subway tracks, which had somehow been twisted apart and torn badly.  
  
His companion shook his head, and fingered the acetylene torch in his hand.  
  
"It doesn't matter whether it's natural or not, we're here to fix it. It's just a lucky thing they caught it in time. Otherwise we'd have a REAL mess on our hands." The worker put his mask down, and brought the torch to the tracks, causing a bright shower of sparks.  
  
The first worker mumbled to himself, and sat down tiredly, looking around at the dark, cavernous tunnel of the subway. "Still, I'm just wondering what could've caused it, ya know?" He turned his head away, and frowned into the darkness that marked where the subway lines intersected the sewer lines.  
  
"I don't know, I think there may be something around here, you know? I know it sounds funny, but..."  
  
*Shlick!*  
  
The man's head jerked back towards his companion at the noise, and he gasped in surprise.  
  
*Thump* The other worker's body fell forward onto the tracks, splattered with blood originating from where his back had been cut deeply. His acetylene torch fell off to the side, and the hissing flame began to recede as pressure was relieved from the trigger.  
  
"Syeeeeee!" The angry, snake-like hiss was met with terrified and panicked screams, both of which faded away into the darkness, drowned beneath 200 feet of rock and concrete.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Snake grinned as he got out of the driver's side of the car, totally contrasting Ranma's weary expression as he left the passenger's side. Rubbing his hands together in delight, the lieutenant moved to the trunk of the police car, and opened it up.  
  
Ranma had started moving towards the car that they had pulled over ahead of them, when he realized that Snake was pulling something heavy from the trunk of the car.  
  
"And what," Ranma asked deadpanned, "is that?"  
  
Snake grinned fiercely and lifted the heavy weapon, which resembled an oversized leaf blower with an enlarged metal tube running out of it.  
  
"THIS, my friend, is a handheld 80 mm. cannon, complete with armor- piercing munitions. This is essentially a scaled-down tank gun. You've got your armor-piercing, of course, and a highly explosive shell with a timed detonation. The actually penetration probably isn't as good as that rail gun, and the rate of fire is pretty bad, but I've modified it so that heat is no longer a problem. Perfect for drawn out battles or some quick mayhem."  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Would you put that thing away? All she did was run a red light! Geez!"  
  
Ranma turned and once again walked toward the stopped car, as Snake grumbled to himself and put his weapon back.  
  
  
  
"Hey there. License and registration please?" The teenage girl inside swallowed nervously, and handed over the requested items. Ranma pretended to look them over, not really sure why he was supposed to ask for them in the first place, before handing them back to the girl.  
  
"So what's the deal? You ran a red light back at that last intersection."  
  
The girl blinked, then laughed nervously. "Oh! That was a red light? I didn't see it!" She leaned back a bit in her seat, trying to afford Ranma a better view of her cleavage, and smiled warmly at him.  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Seemed clear enough to me." He took out a pad of paper and a pen, and then nearly dropped both items when the girl gasped softly.  
  
"You-You're not going to write me a ticket, are you?"  
  
Ranma stuttered helplessly as tears started brimming around the girl's eyes. "Well, I mean, it-it's not a big deal, it's just-"  
  
The girl burst into tears on her steering wheel, making sure to keep Ranma in the corner of her eye to gauge his reaction. "But you just can't! *Sob* If my parents find out I got a ticket, they'll never let me go out again!"  
  
Ranma twitched slightly as the girl continued sobbing. He knew he was probably being played for a sucker, but he just couldn't stand to see a girl cry.  
  
He was just about to apologize and tell her to forget the entire thing, when Snake grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.  
  
"Out of my way, you pitiful excuse for an officer." Shaking his head sadly, he put one arm over the top of the car, and fished a baseball-sized sphere out of his pocket. Ranma blinked, and watched quizzically as the girl raised her head in confusion, tears still streaming from her eyes.  
  
"Do you know what this is, miss?" Snake asked the girl casually, tossing the sphere into the air and catching it on its way back down. Predictably, she shook her head no.  
  
Snake smirked, then shoved the ball almost into the girl's face, causing her to flinch back.  
  
"This metal sphere is an LX-320 incendiary device. I prefer to call it a 'slag grenade'. You see, this thing contains hard-packed aluminum powder, mixed liberally with ferrous oxide, or common rust, along with a small, but powerful ignition charge, all surrounding a small, ordinary explosive in the inner core. You see, when aluminum is combined with ferrous oxide under high temperature, it undergoes a unique chemical reaction that creates two products: regular iron, and aluminum oxide. It also releases the most heat of any non-nuclear chemical reaction known to modern science. So, if I were to, say, drop this in your engine block, you would quite literally have boiling-hot molten iron splattered all over your car, which would reduce it to little more than scrap in moments when it reaches the fuel line."  
  
Snake's smirk warmed considerably as he noted that most of the color had drained from the teenage girl's face.  
  
"So, what I'm trying to say is, getting you grounded is hardly the worst we could do. So give the whole crying gig a rest, would you?"  
  
She nodded mutely, eyes wide as dinner plates.  
  
Snake didn't waste any time in writing out a ticket, and casually dropped it into the car.  
  
"By the way, didn't I see you on the news?" Snake leaned in a bit, inspecting her face.  
  
Even though she was trembling slightly, she didn't stutter as she replied. "Yes, I was in the bank explosion back a while ago. Nakeeguchi saved me..."  
  
Snake nodded, smiling. "I thought so. Drive safely now!" He backed off from the window, then walked casually back to the squad car, slapping the back of the girl's vehicle as if to drive it off.  
  
Ranma didn't know whether to be impressed or horrified.  
  
Ranma followed Snake back to the squad car, ignoring Snake's "victim" as she accelerated away. Getting in, he turned to ask the lieutenant a question regarding his usual treatment of traffic violators.  
  
*Boom!!* The explosion that came from down the road proved to be a more important matter, and when Ranma's head whipped around to face forward again, he was treated to the sight of watching the back bumper of the teenager's car go flying up into the air, as well as several pieces of shrapnel and other miscellaneous items.  
  
"What the hell was THAT?!" Ranma stared forward blankly, then lurched forward as Snake backed up, then made a U-turn to head away from the blast site.  
  
"Oh, just a little pressure explosive. Concussion blast only, don't worry. She'll be fine." Snake turned on the radio, and started whistling along with the American country music.  
  
Ranma stared at him. "This probably sounds like a stupid question, but why did you plant an explosive on her car?"  
  
Snake shrugged. "Spite."  
  
Ranma groaned in response and leaned back against the seat.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Alex smiled licentiously at the man walking cautiously into her office, getting up from her seat as she offered him another in front of her desk with a wave of her hand.  
  
The man had sandy blonde hair, was just under six feet tall, and heavily muscled. He was wearing a white tank top underneath a black nylon jacket, as well as camouflage-patched army pants and a pair of narrow shades.  
  
Alex nodded to Bei, who smiled back and closed the door behind their guest. He flinched a bit and glanced behind him, then turned back to Alex.  
  
"Won't you sit down?" She purred, "Come, make yourself at home."  
  
The man took off his sunglasses, and stared at her skeptically. "How about not. I'm here for business, not pleasure. Give me my assignment, and I'll be on my way." His voice was thick with a German accent, though his Japanese was still just as fluent as any native.  
  
Alex winked at Bei, who walked up closely behind the large man, pushing him slightly toward the offered seat. When he refused to budge, but rather turned and glared at her assistant, Alex's smile lessened a bit.  
  
"Haven't you ever heard that all work and no play makes Wolf a dull boy?" Alexandra laughed melodiously as she pushed herself up onto her desk, sitting in position that afforded the man with a very generous view of her legs.  
  
Calvin Asmodeus wasn't fooled for a moment. He had spent most of his life working for people like this, and he knew a spider when he saw one, no matter how pretty it looked. And Alexandra was pure venom.  
  
"I didn't come here to play. I'm a fighter, not a gigolo. If you need someone killed or beaten, then you can call me for another meeting. Otherwise, there are escort services for that sort of thing." He turned around to leave.  
  
"Stop." The seductive velvet was gone from her voice. "If you're going to be that way, fine. Your target is Ranma Saotome. Here is all the information we have available on him." Calvin Asmodeus, known to just about everyone who knew him and still lived simply as "Wolf", turned back around and took the folder without comment.  
  
Alex stared at him with a certain mixture of respect and irritation as he looked over the files.  
  
"Hmmmm... he doesn't seem too tough." Alex suppressed a laugh. Wolf was not aware of what Ranma was capable of; Saotome's profile didn't detail his physical abilities too much. On the other hand, it may not even have mattered; she had chosen Wolf in particular because of his own reputation as far as superhuman abilities. He was the best assassin/thug available, or at least the best one that was available for just any client with enough money.  
  
Wolf raised an eyebrow. "Why's his marital status blank?"  
  
"For a very good reason," Alex deadpanned. "You have your information. I'll expect him dead by tomorrow. If not-"  
  
"I don't get paid," Wolf interrupted, turning around to exit the office. "I know how it works. I just hope this guy is worth my time." The German fighter left the room, hastily shutting the door behind him.  
  
  
  
Alex stared at the door for a little bit, then shrugged her shoulders and walked back around her desk to take her seat. "Oh well. Maybe he'll be a little less uptight next time." She took out a bottle from under her desk and poured some of its contents into a small glass.  
  
Bei watched in fascination as she watched annoyance flash on her mistress's face. She thought it rather interesting that she criticized men in general as being easy to manipulate and obsessed with sex, and yet was frequently annoyed (or downright angry) whenever she dealt with one that didn't fit her derogatory stereotype.  
  
Alex took a sip of the liquor, then looked down at a manila folder on her desk. "Hmmm? What's this?"  
  
Bei coughed into her fist. "That's a report from Konta's labs. I brought it in right before Wolf showed up for the meeting. I... um... thought you might be interested in it..."  
  
Alex blinked, then shrugged and flipped the folder open. She lifted the glass of scotch to her lips as her eyes scanned the first page.  
  
*Pppphttt!* *Cough!* *Hack!* *Cough!*  
  
Bei winced as the hard liquor sprayed amongst the fine-polished hardwood desk.  
  
Alex stared hard at the page before her, then snatched it up and held it aloft, as if better lighting might change what she saw on the page.  
  
"What IS this?!" She shouted, then turned toward Bei. "Well? What the hell is this?!"  
  
Bei flinched back, then swallowed nervously. "That would be Yoshi's newest creation as an extension of Project Mobius."  
  
Alex growled at her dangerously, and Bei began to back away. "And WHO authorized him to create a whole different strain of mutants? And WHO gave him permission to begin testing..." Alex looked down at the paper, and her eyes bulged. "YESTERDAY?!?!"  
  
Bei bigsweated heavily. "Um... well, no one, really."  
  
The newly promoted president of Wraith Labs trembled as she looked down at the papers. "How did he do this?! It took us 8 months of testing and research to generate the genetic printouts for the T and E series mutations, and two more months to create them! HOW did Konta create a totally different strain in 3 DAYS?!?!"  
  
Bei now had her back pressed against the far wall, and was slowly inching toward the door. "It wo-would ap-appear that the Luceed Module has s- significantly speeded up the process. This strain also utilizes the T virus that was replicated from Umbrella Corporation's genetic printouts..."  
  
Alex appeared to calm down a bit, and looked Bei straight in the eyes, which froze her movement to the exit.  
  
"So you're telling me... that right in the middle of a very vital project, Konta decided to change our development process, utilize unknown agents, introduce untested technology into the middle of our carefully laid plans, create an entirely new life form, and then release it into the middle of Tokyo, just like that?"  
  
Bei nodded carefully. "Yeah... he's kind of whimsical like that..."  
  
"WELL, WHY WASN'T I INFORMED?!?!?!" Bei fell down against the wall in surprise and cowered on the ground as she replied.  
  
"We didn't know! Nobody had any idea what was going on except the scientists, and we've already put significant resources into getting them to keep quiet about their work! Nobody knew anything had changed until Yoshi had the first group of prototypes released to the test area yesterday, and he submitted the report just this morning! We were ordered not to bother the scientists!"  
  
Alex softened slightly as she saw her second-in-command cowering on the ground. "Yes. Yes, I'm sorry Bei. Get up." She sighed wearily. "This isn't your fault at all."  
  
The busty young woman watched curiously as her employer/mistress pushed her drink aside, and her eyes widened as Alex reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a 9 mm. handgun.  
  
"Now, why don't you get Yoshi for me? We have to have a little 'chat'."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"So... what is it?" Ranma stared down at the cage of wire mesh in a sort of disgusted fascination.  
  
Tiro poked at the side of the cage with his finger, and had the satisfaction of seeing the creature inside turn to glare at him. "Is it some sort of mutant jello mold?"  
  
Kyle observed it from a distance, nodding occasionally as if making speculations about the life form within the cage.  
  
Seras grinned and tapped the cage with a half-empty bottle of vodka. "I found this little fellow in a blackened crater near the coast. Funny looking, 'aint he?"  
  
Sakura nodded, then pointed to the small red blob glaring around at those who surrounded it. "Why is his mouth stuffed with cotton?"  
  
Yamma's gangly form walked up behind the cage, and he set an arm atop it. "We put it in to muffle the sound. It wouldn't shut up otherwise."  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "It TALKS? Man, that's weird."  
  
Seras nodded again. "Calls itself 'PQ'. I was thinking of keeping it, but it won't stop talking. Plus it called me ugly." The DA's medical officer frowned a bit, then chugged down the remaining contents of the bottle he held. "I was thinking I'll just subject it to a few cruel and needlessly painful experiments until it dies."  
  
The little blob's eyes widened, and it started shaking in panic, more so when many of those surrounding the cage nodded in agreement.  
  
"Oh! But it's so cute!" Sakura gushed, and poked at the wire mesh.  
  
Seras snorted. "Just stick around long enough for him to spit the cotton out," he deadpanned.  
  
*Ahem!*  
  
All of those present turned at the sound of Asuka clearing her throat.  
  
Asuka gazed over the assembled group cooly. "We've got an assignment. It's just in, so let's get a move on!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"So what is it this time? Carriers? A vamp assault?" Tiro entered the meeting room wearily, followed by the police captain and the rest of the assembled officers.  
  
Asuka ignored him and stopped at a table near the entrance to the room, rather than move on to the projector.  
  
"We've got a problem. As of yesterday, 0900 hours-"  
  
"That means 9 AM," Junko whispered to Kyle and Sakura, who nodded quickly.  
  
"-Tokyo subway line 71 experienced a breakdown in its track system, and is presently unable to continue operations until its railway is repaired. Unfortunately, every repair crew that has been sent down to find and fix the problem has disappeared without a trace. The few investigators who have inspected the site have either likewise disappeared, or found nothing but some blood and discarded equipment. Due to a loophole in our investigative policies, this falls under our jurisdiction."  
  
Asuka took a deep breath, then pointed to the large map of subway systems and sewers spread out on the table. "This is the area where the workers have been disappearing. We think that whatever it is that's taking them, assuming it's a 'thing', came from the sewers that intersect the subway system here." She pointed to an obvious intersection, only a little ways off from the large 'X' that marked the subway disruption.  
  
Sakura shivered. "So, we're going down into the sewers? What do you think is down there?"  
  
Tycho shook his head. "Rats, roaches, spiders, crocodiles, human excrement... what?" Tycho wilted a bit as everyone present glared at him.  
  
Asuka rolled up the map. "We currently don't know what's causing the disappearances, but given the recent outbreak of mutant attacks, we can guess. Snake is already above the mission area, making preparations. We're going to have to protect Sera while he analyzes the site and takes samples, and after he's safe, then we'll have to purge the area of any obvious disturbances. Understood?"  
  
Kyle blinked. "No."  
  
"Anyone else?" Asuka asked, exasperated. Nobody answered.  
  
"All right, let's go!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Junko made a disgusted noise as she looked at the section of the street walled off with police tape.  
  
"I can't believe we're actually going into the sewers. This is SO gross."  
  
"Why do you think it falls under our jurisdiction?" Asuka asked, annoyed. "I would've preferred to let the regulars take care of this one, myself."  
  
Ranma, Tycho, Tiro, Seras, and Kyle had already arrived, and Snake was already arming them as the women walked up to the Rhino transport and its ample munitions load.  
  
Snake nodded at the police captain, and addressed all the officers. "Considering the chances of encountering vamps or carriers during the purging stage, I've selected our armaments accordingly. Given that single- shot weaponry seems mostly ineffective against carriers, I'm issuing flamers and the 10 mm. pulse rifles. Fire weaponry should be effective in destroying the carriers quickly at short range, and the pulse rifles have a high enough rate of fire to literally tear them apart. I've also got a few bolter stun guns for vamps."  
  
Tiro glanced at the bulky pulse rifle as he picked it up out of the small pile. "I thought these were 35 mm."  
  
Snake glanced back at him as he handed Sakura and Junko bolters. "The R&D weapon laboratories remodeled them. Cut down on the bullet size for increased ammo capacity and a higher ROF." Snake shrugged.  
  
Ranma slipped on a double-tank backpack, and picked up the bulky flamethrower. It looked sort of like a handheld vacuum cleaner with a megaphone mouth to him, but if Snake had gotten his hands on it, Ranma didn't doubt its destructive potential.  
  
Snake pulled up his own backpack of tank fuel, and pulled back a lever on the side of his flamer, starting up the internal motors and prompting Ranma to do the same with his own weapon.  
  
The DA's weapon's expert lifting his flamer into the air proudly. "Are we ready to rock?!"  
  
"No!" Called Kyle, "Seras passed out in a puddle of his own vomit next to his car!"  
  
Snake lowered his flamer slowly.  
  
"Okay, he's coming out of it!" Kyle dragged the drunken scientist into the circle of the police tape, ignoring the man's requests to make the street stop its constant circular motions.  
  
"Well, that kind of ruined the mood," Snake grumbled, before turning towards the open manhole.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma found himself fairly bored as he led the way into the darkened tunnels of the subway system, and began to reflect upon his life as he continued his trek deeper into the man-made cavern. He found it wholly appropriate that this made him more depressed, as he neared the site of the disappearances.  
  
Seras's flashlight beam cast a small, eerie gaze on small portions of the wall at once, if anything heightening the tension until the other officers had descended into the tunnel and turned on their own lights.  
  
"Well, here's one place I never figured I'd end up," Tiro remarked briskly as he walked past Ranma and peered his light down the tunnel. "If I'd wanted to work in the sewers, I'd have taken my ex-girlfriend's advice and flushed myself down the toilet."  
  
The others ignored him, and Seras lit up an electric lantern, casting enough light to surround the entire group.  
  
Snake pulled up the rear. "All right, I've already set some cordex charges all around this tunnel, as well as loaded an old subway car far down on the tracks with high explosives."  
  
Asuka whirled around and shined her flashlight in his eyes. "What? Why?!"  
  
Snake blinked, then wagged a finger at her. "Why? 'Be prepared'. That's my motto."  
  
"'Be prepared'?" Asuka shouted incredulously. "Prepared for what?! An enemy invasion?!"  
  
Snake shrugged. "I dunno. Anyway, I can collapse this and three other tunnels nearby with the push of a button. I've also got the subway car on call, so if we need it, the stuff I packed into the train will come right down this track and detonate at the area of the damaged tracks. I've also cut off the gas lines to the surrounding area and tossed around a few proximity mines, so we can safely detonate those if we need to."  
  
Tycho stared at him. "SAFELY?!"  
  
"Well, you know what I mean," Snake shot back, annoyed.  
  
Asuka simply turned around, muttering to herself. She had worked with Snake long enough so that she wasn't surprised, but it was irritating that he still managed to pull these things off right over her head.  
  
Junko giggled and hooked an arm around Snake's waist. "You ever hear about a little word called 'overkill', hon?"  
  
Snake rolled his eyes. "Of course I have. That's an old joke." He turned to his companions. "Hey, did you guys know there are actual laws banning the use of thermonuclear devices in city-based police operations?"  
  
The entire group stopped to stare at him. Junko fell off from where she was hanging on his body, and almost hit the ground.  
  
"It's true!" Snake insisted, "I'm not even kidding!"  
  
"Well, thank God they thought ahead," Asuka muttered, grabbing Ranma's arm and dragging him along behind her into the depths of track system 71. The others soon followed.  
  
"I'm totally serious! There are no loopholes or anything! They even put in restrictions in case the actual city was destroyed first!"  
  
"Brother, Snake is scary!" Sakura whined.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Well, lessee here... oops! Hope that doesn't contaminate the sample!" Seras pulled his bottle of brandy away from the patch of dried blood, and continued scraping little bits of it into his sample bags.  
  
Ranma looked gloomily into the intersection that led into the sewers and sighed. "Man, protecting the scene of a crime in a sewer. This sucks."  
  
"Oh, I don't know..." Tiro grinned as Sakura and Junko pressed their bodies against his back, trying to force him between themselves and the long exodus of rats moving next to the subway tracks.  
  
Asuka shook her head at the sight, and absently kicked away a rodent that was sniffing at her boot. "Cowards."  
  
"Ah ha! All right, I got it!" Seras snapped up the packages, then put them into a large briefcase with multiple storage holds for various tools and samples. Snapping shut the briefcase, he hoisted it up and handed his electric lantern to Asuka. "I've got all the samples I need, as well as the pictures of the area. I'm done here."  
  
Asuka nodded, then gestured to Tycho. "Wattai, you and Junko escort Seras back to the station. We'll take it alone from here."  
  
Junko and Tycho nodded, the former stepping cautiously along the wall to keep herself as far from the various rodents as possible.  
  
Once their individual flashlight beams had been swallowed by the hungry shadows, she lifted her lantern to begin issuing orders.  
  
"Whoa! Hello! What have we here?" All present turned to see Kyle's flashlight beam pointed straight in the face of a young man stumbling toward the group. His face was completely pale, his movements were slow and clumsy, and he appeared to be drooling on himself.  
  
"Looks like we got ourselves some vamps." Asuka nodded in agreement, then gestured to Ranma.  
  
"Saotome, take him down, please."  
  
Ranma snapped his flamer to the side of the fuel tanks on his back, then leapt forward, crossing the intervening distance between him and the empty- eyed young man almost instantly and planting a fist right in his gut. The infected young man bent over from the force of the blow to his midsection, and Ranma grabbed the back of his shirt and threw him in front of Tiro.  
  
Asuka nodded to Tiro as he gave a disgusted grunt and kneeled on the victim to keep him from getting up.  
  
"Find the vamp, quickly. Kyle, you see any more?"  
  
"Uhm... yeah..."  
  
Ranma turned around and threw his flashlight beam around, sighing as he saw several shapes moving toward him. "Oh well. This shouldn't be too bad."  
  
"................................. Um... guys?"  
  
"What is it, Yamazaki?" Asuka snapped, her pulse rifle up and eyes scanning for carriers among the advancing group.  
  
"I... I don't think.... I don't think he's alive...." he gasped out. The others glanced at him momentarily.  
  
Sakura stepped up and stared incredulously. "What do you mean? He's moving!" Indeed, the young man was now thrashing quite mightily under Tiro's weight, however vain the attempt might be.  
  
Tiro merely swallowed deeply in response, and pulled down the collar of the boy's shirt a bit.  
  
Even Ranma, in the middle of a snap kick to a construction worker wielding a lead pipe, was almost knocked to the ground by Sakura's scream. The others had ample time to turn and stare wide-eyed at the deep gash that clearly cut right through the back of the young man's neck; Ranma only had time to blink in surprise, then curse mentally as the pipe smashed into his shoulder.  
  
Dismissing the pain as little more than an irritation (a lead pipe was nothing to someone who was used to being smashed through brick walls), he swept the feet of his attacker and hopped back within the sphere of lighting provided by Asuka's lantern.  
  
Ranma gave a resigned groan as the attackers came under fair lighting. Many of them had clearly fatal wounds; others merely had cuts and gouges covered in dry blood and smeared with dirt and grime.  
  
Sakura was literally shaking in her boots as she backed away from the body pinned beneath a panicking Tiro.  
  
"Hey! What do I do? What do I do?!" The body under Tiro began thrashing even more violently, and he was forced to move slightly to avoid a hand reaching back to grab him.  
  
"Kill it! Kill it now!!" Kyle shouted, even as he stared fearfully into the hordes of advancing zombies.  
  
"HE'S ALREADY DEAD!!!" Tiro cried.  
  
"Just move! Get off it, now!" Tiro was all too happy to comply with Snake's demand, and leapt off to where Sakura was huddling against the wall of the tunnel.  
  
Snake quickly moved in as the resurrected man tried to right himself, and leveled his flamer.  
  
*Fwooooosh!* A thick tail of fire washed over the lone zombie, incinerating him in moments. Tiro and Sakura turned away at the sight, only to the join the others in being more-or-less paralyzed at the sight of the advancing horde.  
  
Ranma turned to his commanding officer. "Well, what're we gonna do?" He jabbed a thumb at the advancing wall of blood and rot.  
  
Asuka gulped, then steeled herself and brought her pulse rifle around to bear. "Take them down now! Open fire!"  
  
Tiro and Kyle didn't hesitate to comply, and joined Asuka in mowing down the advancing zombies. The infected men and women convulsed rapidly as hails of bullets tore into them, shredding flesh, muscle and bone.  
  
  
  
Ranma watched in a fair amount of disgust as the wave of attackers slowly collapsed, their limbs being literally ripped to shreds by the steady streams of bullets.  
  
His danger sense flared, and Ranma snapped one foot upward and to the side, barely deflecting a lunge that would have ended with a gash in his throat. Ranma followed with a swift roundhouse, but his attacker flipped away to land on the wall of the tunnel.  
  
Ranma blinked. Roughly five feet from head to toe, with the thin, bony structure of the carriers he had already grown accustomed to, this new creature was dimensionally the same as its brother mutant. From there, the resemblance pretty much ended. A brownish-red, scab-like covering had replaced the rubbery-looking skin. There were no tentacles, or any sign of the black, mutated slugs that usually accompanied the larger mutants. Instead, this creature had a bone scythe sticking out of each wrist, pocked with barbs and stained with dried blood.  
  
Perhaps most disgusting to Ranma, strangely enough, was that this creature had eyes. Strange, green, glowing eyes, that looked especially freaky peering at him from the concrete wall partially obscured in shadows.  
  
"Syaaaaaa!" It hissed at him from its position on the wall, upside down and clinging with its fingers.  
  
"Creepy," Ranma muttered. Then he glanced over at his companions, who were all busy mowing down the last of the lingering zombie horde (except for Sakura, who looked like she was in a state of shock).  
  
"Hey Captain! Take a look at this freak!" Ranma grinned slightly as he returned his attention to the new mutant, who glared at him curiously.  
  
Asuka was a little more than annoyed that Ranma was distracting her in this kind of situation; at least, she was up until she got a fair look at what was on the wall Ranma was next to.  
  
"Kyle! Tiro! To your right! Kill it now!!"  
  
Her subordinates didn't question her orders; in fact, they didn't even stop to aim or relieve pressure from the triggers of their weapons before carrying them out.  
  
*Tststststststststs!* "Gyah!! Hey! Watch it!!"  
  
Ranma hit the ground in a panic as 10 mm. fire cut a horizontal path above him. The gunfire failed to hit its actual target, however, which, seeing its enemy immobilized, jumped off the wall and raised its arm blades to attack. Ranma hoisted his body up slightly with his arms, then shot up with a kick that caught the genetically engineered monstrosity completely by surprise, and stopped its attack short of its target.  
  
Before it could recover, Ranma used his arms to angle his body completely upwards, with the monster still stuck on his feet, before kicking it off to the opposite wall of the tunnel.  
  
Asuka's gun was shaking, as a result of her trying to find a window for a clean shot. She watched as the creature slammed into the wall near her, and immediately turned around. "Snake-"  
  
"Got it! Burn, freak!!" *Fwoooooosh!* The mutant was quickly wrapped in liquid light, its agonized screams dying with the flames, retreating into the thin, blackened husk that toppled onto the floor amongst the twisted metal tracks.  
  
Asuka breathed a sigh of relief, then held a hand to her chest to try and control her heart; it felt about ready to pop out, through armor and all.  
  
"Hyaaaargh..." Asuka's left eye twitched slightly as the faint moan was heard, she glanced below and behind her to see the still-mobile torso of a single zombie clawing its way to her.  
  
Tiro noticed too, and gasped as he aimed his pulse rifle. "Captain look-"  
  
Before Tiro had finished his sentence, Asuka whipped out her sidearm, flipped off the safety, and aimed in a practiced, one-handed motion.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
Blood and gore was blown liberally around the area, and the now headless mutation fell to the concrete floor, motionless.  
  
Kyle stared, both frightened and impressed. "Whoa... 'House of the Dead 2' style!" The others turned to level flat stares at him.  
  
Snake centered himself and looked around. "Everybody okay?"  
  
Ranma looked down at where Sakura had attached herself to his leg, shivering, and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, pretty much."  
  
"Syeeeeee!" "Hissss!" "Syaaaaaaah..." The entire group turned to the shadowed depths of the sewer tunnel, and very faint points of green light started appearing.  
  
Tiro swallowed noisily. "Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn..."  
  
Asuka slipped her sidearm back into its holster on the side of her body armor, then raised her pulse rifle in one hand as she raised the lantern in the other.  
  
"Syaaaaah!" The faintly illuminated eyes shrunk back from the light, and Tiro and Kyle started to move toward Asuka.  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow, then, on a hunch, looked up at the 20-foot high tunnel ceiling.  
  
"Look out! Above you!" The two mutants released their hold on the ceiling at the shout, spinning around to cleave with their wrist blades.  
  
Before Sakura knew what was happening, Ranma had hoisted her up and held her to him with one arm to free up his leg. With that same leg he executed a swift kick to the descending creature, throwing it hard enough against the wall to leave an impression in the concrete as the dead body slid to the floor.  
  
Asuka wasn't so gifted, unfortunately. Nonetheless, she twisted at just the right moment, and the mutants blade dug into the chestplate on her armor rather than her neck, punching through the plastic composite shell but halting before the folds of kevlar underneath. Asuka took advantage of its disorientation, and spin-kicked it away. It stumbled, but recovered quickly and launched itself forward. Asuka only had time to raise the lantern in front of her to block, and sparks flew in all directions as the mutant's blades gouged deeply into the electric light.  
  
"Oh geez! The light went out!"  
  
"Syreeeeeeee!"  
  
*Fwooooooooooosh!*  
  
Snake's flamer illuminated the tunnel once more, and Asuka found herself staring into a pair of dilated green eyes, surrounded by a horrid brown and red shell...  
  
Snarling, she smashed the muzzle of her pulse rifle into the mutant's stomach, and squeezed the trigger.  
  
*Tak! Tak! Tak! Tak! Tak! Tak! Tak!* Each discharged bullet was followed immediately by an explosion of gore as she blew a line of holes upward through the monstrosity's twisted body. It's death scream lingered as the last few bullets tore through it skull, and it stumbled back, right before Asuka smacked it in the head with her rifle, knocking it away. The dark, useless husk of the lantern went with it.  
  
As Asuka fumbled for her flashlight, the tunnel was being illuminated by the cremation of two more mutants, as well as brief flashes from Tiro and Kyle's guns.  
  
"I can't keep this up forever!" Snake brought the stream of flames to the side to cut off an attacker, but the creature merely jumped away and clung to the wall, out of range.  
  
*Tststststststststs!*  
  
"I've got my flashlight! Tiro! On your left!"  
  
*Tststststststststs!*  
  
Ranma growled, and kicked away another mutant as it lunged for him. Sakura clung to him helplessly, wishing not for the first time for his strength of will.  
  
"It's no good! Run for it guys!" Ranma snapped up the lead pipe used to beat him earlier, and threw it swiftly at another mutant advancing on the ceiling. It pierced the creature's shell, and pinned it firmly to the ceiling even as it screamed in agony.  
  
"Ranma! Hurry up!" Tiro was already backing away with Kyle, Snake, and Asuka, but realized that Ranma wasn't making any move to do the same.  
  
"I said go! I can take care of myself!" Ranma backhanded another mutant that lunged at him, then back-kicked yet another that tried to take advantage of his distraction.  
  
Asuka and Kyle stopped moving, though they each took steps back when they saw more mutants advancing past Ranma, and crawling or walking toward them.  
  
Asuka shut her eyes tight, and then threw her flashlight at Ranma, who caught it in his free hand right before kicking away another attacker. "Damn it Saotome!! Forcing me into a decision like this... I swear, if you get killed, I'll kill you!!" Asuka turned and ran to catch up with Snake and Tiro.  
  
Kyle hesitated a bit, then called back to where the mutants were still circling Ranma and Sakura. "Same goes for me if Sakura get hurt, Saotome! You'd better take care of her!"  
  
Ranma didn't turn back; he merely nodded with deadly seriousness as the creatures stared at him with inhuman hate and rage. "She'll make it out. Even if I don't. I promise!"  
  
Kyle was a bit shaken by the resolve in his voice, and nearly bumped into Snake as he turned around.  
  
"Hey Saotome! Make your way to the sewers! I'm going to call in the train!!" With that final shout, Snake grabbed Kyle's arm and pulled him away into the depths of the tunnel.  
  
  
  
"Haaaaaaaaaaah..." "Saaaaaaaaaaaah..." "Syeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."  
  
Ranma stared straight ahead, unmoving, even as the mutations circled him warily. Many of their number already littered the concrete floor around him, dead or dying.  
  
Pressed tightly to his body, he could feel Sakura's erratic heartbeat as she clung to him desperately. She needed to get out of here, quick.  
  
An attack from the rear.  
  
Ranma's left foot lashed out backward more quickly than the mutant could detect, and it was thrown back a dozen meters before it first touched the ground again.  
  
The one that lunged during that split-second distraction wasn't so lucky, and got a return kick to the chest before Ranma grabbed its arm and hurled it into one of its brethren hard enough to smash both into the far wall of the subway tunnel.  
  
The remaining mutants, numbering only five at present, began to reevaluate their victim's capabilities. Still, they had not been created with intelligence in mind, and so did not change tactics. Several of them tensed, and reared back slightly in preparation for a death lunge.  
  
*Click* Ranma blinked as he felt something snap off of his armor, and started in surprise as the muzzle of his flamer fell beside his head.  
  
Sakura trembled as she aimed the large weapon, and then clenched her teeth as several of the mutants hesitated in surprise. "Take THIS!!!" *Fwooooooosh!*  
  
Fire blossomed out into the three mutants in the front, liquid heat sucking in their twisted bodies and sticking to their hardened skin.  
  
Ranma watched, impressed, as Sakura continued torching the fried husks even as they disintegrated onto the concrete floor below. Luckily, he was not so distracted that the two mutations behind him escaped his notice as they charged.  
  
Sakura cried out in surprise as she was whirled around along with Ranma, inadvertently blasting the two remaining creatures with fire. Ranma's snap kicks relieved them of their forward momentum, sending both mutants reeling away from the couple, broken and burning.  
  
Ranma nodded in satisfaction, and then smiled toward Sakura. "Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?"  
  
Sakura stared emotionlessly at the blackened hulks surrounding them, flamer still in hand, and body still held tightly to Ranma's. Then she grabbed onto his neck and hugged him for all she was worth.  
  
"I wanna go HOME!!!" She trailed off whimpering, and Ranma's eyes twitched sporadically as his ears recovered from the assault.  
  
"Okay, okay. We'll get out of this." He shifted Sakura's position against him slightly, reasoning that he could best keep her out of danger if he didn't leave her to move at her own pace.  
  
"Syaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"  
  
"Oh, fudge..." Looking around and sighing, Ranma started for the sewers.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Sraaaaaaah!"  
  
*Tststststststststs!*  
  
The mutant fell to the ground as bullets strafed its body, tearing a line through its chest and skull.  
  
"Snake! Look out!"  
  
The DA's weapons specialist tossed aside his cellular phone, and raised his flamer to block the incoming strike, knowing that the fire couldn't push his attacker back in time.  
  
*T-chunk!* The blades dug deeply into the side of the heavy weapon, and the mutation found itself unable to extricate itself before the assault weapon was hurled over Snake's head and away from the group of defenders, fuel tanks and all.  
  
By the time the twisted monstrosity reoriented itself, Snake had already drawn his sidearm, and taken aim at the small pressure valve near the fuel tanks' tubing.  
  
*Blam!* *Tang!* *Ssssssssssssss... BOOOOOOM!!!!*  
  
The rest of the mutants flinched back from the sudden light, and Tiro, Kyle, and Asuka wasted no time in covering the area in 10 mm. fire.  
  
As the light retreated once more, the DAPC continued its slow withdrawal, laying down blankets of bullets even as the advancing mutations huddled back into the protective blanket of shadows.  
  
"Don't worry!" Snake yelled, brandishing his sidearm and sweeping the area with his flashlight, "I called the subway; the train's on the way! We need to get back far enough so that we're not in the blast area!"  
  
Asuka nodded, glad for once that Snake had gone overboard with his explosives. "Right! I just hope Seras and the others are okay..." She trailed off as the last bullet left the rifle's ammo casing, and looked up at the stone ceiling hopefully as she slipped in a new ammo cartridge.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Dum dee dum dee dum, ta ta ta ta ta......" Junko hummed along absently with the soft music emanating from the car's radio, bored out of her skull.  
  
Tycho cut off another driver, and ignored the angry honking as he sped through an intersection just before the light turned red.  
  
Seras was swaying slightly in the passenger side of the car, a newly opened bottle of rum in his lap.  
  
Suddenly, Junko's head poked up from the back of the car. "Hey guys, what say we blow off this whole analysis thing and go back to my place? We can play strip poker!"  
  
*Rrrrrk!!* *Vrooooooom!*  
  
Before the words had even reached Seras's alcohol-addled brain, the car had already moved across the grass barrier separating the streets, and had left several cars braking in panic as it sped off opposite the direction it had been going.  
  
By then, the words had reached Seras's brain. He looked down at the bottle of alcohol in his lap, memorized the brand and proof, and then looked up to nod happily at the bouncy redhead. He could do the experiments any time; why waste an opportunity like this?  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Sraaaaah!"  
  
Ranma deflected the wrist blade aimed at his throat, then slammed roughly 50 punches into the attacking mutant's ribcage, utterly crushing the formidable bone structure before he backhanded the creature away.  
  
Sakura was still hugged to his side, and she had more or less found a comfortable position as her curvaceous body was pressed to Ranma's shoulder. She had also more or less gotten used to the idea that none of the terrible creatures attacking them could penetrate the zone of Ranma's defenses.  
  
Ranma hoisted his human cargo up a bit, then leapt from one side of the sewer tunnel to the other, clearing the river of murky water (???) and landing on the narrow concrete walk along the side.  
  
Ranma looked around, not detecting anything amongst the thin chatter of various rodents and the distant rushing of water. "Think we got 'em all?"  
  
Sakura struggled for a moment to get Ranma's flashlight, then shined it into the depths of the tunnel, revealing a stone wall as the tunnel took a ninety-degree turn. "I hope so... do you think Kyle and the others are okay?"  
  
Ranma chuckled lightly as he shifted his flamethrower and backpack off of him and set it on the ground; it would only slow him down, at this rate. "I wouldn't worry about it. Kyle's a tough guy. Not as tough as Asuka though; if all else fails, she'll probably end up scaring the freaks away." Ranma chuckled ruefully, then swiftly moved forward around the bend.  
  
Peering ahead, Ranma could see bars of light in the distance, and moved along the narrowing concrete walkway to a large grated floodgate, where the sewage spilled into a much larger, and much more illuminated, reservoir.  
  
Sakura lifted her legs up slightly (incidentally cuddling her body even more closely against Ranma's) as Ranma stepped into the river of filth where the walk disappeared completely into the flood of sewage. Taking hold of the grate, Ranma gave a short grunt before prying the whole thing off. Tossing the now worthless piece off to the side, Ranma scooped up Sakura's legs in his free hand before leaping out the large drain, landing lightly on another concrete walk surrounding the pit of human waste.  
  
Finally deeming the area safe, Ranma let Sakura back onto her feet, though she immediately backed into him to maintain physical contact. And when he took a good look around, he could see why.  
  
Mutant bodies as well as human ones, all dead, battered, and broken, littered the area, spread thin along the walls and walks of the wide open pit.  
  
Sakura shivered, and Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder in comfort.  
  
"Man, what happened here? Did those freaks start killing each other or what?"  
  
"Ranma, I don't like this... let's get out of here..."  
  
Ranma was just starting to nod when another voice emanated out of nowhere.  
  
"You can leave. Saotome stays, however."  
  
Ranma and Sakura whirled around at the voice, coming from a dry floodgate just on the edge of a beam of light coming from the sewer grates above.  
  
Wolf stepped out of it calmly, hands in his pockets.  
  
"I must apologize for the mess. I wasn't expecting these... things to be here. But they're not so tough. I'm hoping you'll be a different story." The German fighter offered a deceptively friendly grin, and hopped down from the smaller tunnel to a concrete walk opposite where Ranma was standing.  
  
Ranma narrowed his eyes, and cast a sideways glance at one of the mutations lying on the ground. It was covered with impact wounds, and the concrete it was lying on was cracked around its body. A quick survey of a human corpse (no doubt an accompanying zombie) revealed deep cuts. Whoever this guy was, he didn't use guns, and he was no slouch in hand-to-hand combat.  
  
Sakura kept looking worriedly between Ranma and the newcomer, wondering what was to come of this. Suddenly, Ranma broke the stalemate.  
  
"You wanna fight me? Fine. But let the girl go." Sakura blinked, and stared at Ranma, who in turn stared at Wolf with cold seriousness in his eyes.  
  
Wolf chuckled. "Of course she can go. This doesn't involve her. I could never bring myself to harm such a pretty young woman anyway." Then, with a grin, he added, "Not for free, anyway."  
  
Ranma nodded silently, and shifted one foot forward as he raised his hands slightly.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Both combatants blinked at Sakura's shout, and turned to watch as she unholstered the bolter that she had yet to use since descending into the subway tunnels.  
  
"I'm tired of this! If you want to fight Ranma, you'll have to get through me!" Sakura growled at the man, and flipped a switch on her weapon.  
  
Wolf sweatdropped as the energy cartridge on the bolter popped out and onto the floor. "Um... you're joking, right?"  
  
"Huh? Oops! Hold on!" Ranma held a hand over his face as Sakura picked up the cartridge, then put it back in her weapon. "Now how does this work? Is it this one?" Apparently it was, as a cylinder in the bolter shifted forward, and a slight hum could be heard from the muzzle of the stun gun.  
  
"Uh, look, Sakura, I can really handle this on my own. You don't need to-"  
  
"Don't worry Ranma!" Sakura pointed her now-active weapon at Wolf, jabbing it at him threateningly. "Now this is going to hurt, but it won't kill you!"  
  
Another sweatdrop rolled down Wolf's head. "..................................."  
  
Ranma just sighed.  
  
*Zak!* The bolt of electric energy shot forward, slamming hard into the brick wall of the large reservoir and sending electric arcs spreading in all directions from the blackened impact site.  
  
Wolf hadn't budged an inch. "Okaaaaaay... I think you need to cool off, babe." A glint of metal from Calvin's hand was all the warning Ranma had before a bladed projectile sailed toward Sakura.  
  
In a split second Ranma had crossed the distance and tackled her, and hadn't even hit the ground before his ears detected the ultra-fine screech of metal cutting through metal, followed by the much more grating noise of metal digging into stone.  
  
Sakura shouted in surprise as she and Ranma hit the ground, and Ranma looked back to see the ill-fated bolter follow suit in two cleanly sliced pieces.  
  
Wolf raised an eyebrow, and started walking towards the edge of the concrete walk. "You're fast. You didn't have to do that though; it wouldn't have hit her."  
  
Ranma stared at him warily as Sakura slowly got up, then smiled slightly.  
  
"Well, it's nice to fight someone who's only halfway psychotic for once."  
  
Wolf returned the smile with a bigger one. "I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
Sakura stared up from where she was kneeling. "Ranma?"  
  
He didn't look at her; his attention was focused purely on his opponent. "Don't worry about me. Just get out of here. I'll be okay." When he saw the man chuckling at that, he stood up fully. "Hey, what's your name, anyway?"  
  
Calvin Asmodeus retained his smile, and slowly took a pair of fingerless biking gloves out of his jacket pockets, slowly and deliberately slipping them over his hands before he answered. "You can call me Wolf. Now was there anything else, or are you ready to die?"  
  
Ranma gave a last, confident smirk at Sakura, then stepped away. "Talk is cheap! Come on!"  
  
Wolf leapt forward, clearing the reservoir with ease and readying a punch that could tear through rock with ease. Ranma likewise leapt up, then forced his leg out as he somersaulted to knock Wolf away at the point of contact.  
  
*Ka-pow!* *Tha-wack!*  
  
And so the battle was joined.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"There! We made it! Here is good!" Snake nodded and turned around, and then fired a few shots from his magnum advanced into the encroaching darkness that blanketed their attackers.  
  
*Blam!* Blam!*  
  
*Tstststststs-chk!-click-click-click*  
  
"Dammit! I'm out of ammo!" Tiro, lacking a sidearm of his own, threw his pulse rifle to the side and gripped his flashlight desperately, waving it into the darkness in hopes of merely warding off any aggressors.  
  
Kyle stopped shooting himself, aware that he too was on his last ammunition cartridge. "Are we sure there are any left back there?"  
  
"Seeeeeeeeee..." "Shyaaaaaah..."  
  
"I think it's a safe bet," Asuka deadpanned. Several more distant hisses echoed through the tunnels, and the grouped DA officers huddled together slightly.  
  
Tiro gulped. "Well, how about we get out of here then?! How far to the nearest manhole?!"  
  
Snake blinked. "We passed the one we entered in, actually. Don't worry! As soon as that train hits the broken tracks, then those freaks're done for!"  
  
*Chung... chung... cha-chung... cha-chunk... cha-chunk...* Tiro breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the sound of an advancing subway train.  
  
Asuka was silent for a moment, then turned to the DA's weapons officer. "Snake? If it was supposed to have exploded way back at the break, why can we hear it getting closer?"  
  
The man in question blinked. "Uh......... poor acoustics?" Asuka turned her flashlight beam in his face. "Heh... bad guess..."  
  
Tiro was REALLY scared now. "It's coming closer! We're gonna die!"  
  
"Against the wall! Now!" Kyle suited actions to words, and jumped to the wall separating subway lines 72 and 71, pressing his back firmly against the concrete surface.  
  
"Here it comes!"  
  
*ShoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooom*  
  
Asuka blinked. Kyle blinked. Tiro and Snake blinked at the same time.  
  
No subway car had, in fact, passed through line 71. But with their backs to the separating wall, it was easy enough to feel the vibrations from a passing car in the likewise-quarantined track 72.  
  
Asuka slapped her forehead.  
  
"Well, crud. I guess that was the wrong train. It's really kind of funny if you think about it..." Snake chuckled slightly, which was silenced quite effectively when Asuka turned around and started strangling him.  
  
Kyle sweatdropped. "Uhm, Asuka, I think you'd better stop..."  
  
"Stop?! STOP?!?! He should be thanking me! I'll make sure he has a nice, clean death rather than being turned into a zombie!"  
  
Tiro whimpered at the reminder of the peril of their situation, and continued casting his light about for attackers.  
  
"Wa-wait! I-I... got... m-more... b-b-bombs!" Snake managed to choke that much out before Asuka threw him off to the side, and lay on the floor for a moment, massaging his throat.  
  
"What? So what are you going to do now, huh? Blow up the city hall?" Asuka glared down at him harshly.  
  
Snake gulped. "Well, remember those charges I set up in the subway tunnels? Those are still active. And I'm SURE that I placed those right."  
  
"Oh geez! Run!" Tiro's flashlight illuminated the figure of a wounded mutant, and Kyle and Asuka wasted no time in opening fire as it was paralyzed by the light.  
  
Within moments, its corpse was hitting the floor, and the angry hiss of its companions echoed through the darkened tunnels.  
  
"Nearest exit's this way! Hurry up!" Snake ran near the opposite side of the wall, being quickly followed by the other retreating officers.  
  
"Syeeeeeeeeeee!" Kyle jumped to one side as he ran, just barely avoiding a mutant before it skidded on the ground from its ill-timed lunge.  
  
"Up here! Quickly!" Snake illuminated the ladder out with his own flashlight, and was nearly run over as Tiro moved past him and jumped onto as high a rung as he could catch before rushing upward.  
  
"Tiro! Get the cover off! Now!" Snake followed Tiro up the ladder, while Kyle grabbed onto it and hung off in a firing position.  
  
"Damn! It's heavy!" Tiro grunted with the effort, and the others found themselves groaning inwardly.  
  
Asuka reached the ladder under Kyle, and turned around to defend the position, only to inadvertently block a mutant's swipe with her pulse rifle, jarring the creature slightly from the impact, and losing the rifle off to the side. Asuka grabbed the creature's arm before it could recover, and threw it over her shoulder, sending it sprawling across the floor on its back. Kyle located it on the ground, and finished it off with a spurt of gunfire.  
  
"Crud! I can't lift this thing at all!" Kyle and Snake's faces darkened, and both began to panic.  
  
Asuka's expression darkened too. "Tiro! I swear, if you don't get that thing off NOW, then you'll NEVER have ANY chance of EVER sleeping with me!!"  
  
*Clang!* *Shhhhhhk* Light poured into the subway tunnel, stunning the few mutations still advancing as their modified eyes failed to adjust properly.  
  
Tiro was practically thrown out onto the streets by Snake. As Snake climbed up, Kyle fired into the remaining mutants, only to run out of ammunition almost immediately. Tossing his useless weapon to the side, he followed Snake out of the hellish substratum.  
  
Asuka jumped up onto the ladder as soon as there was room, urging her second-in-command upward.  
  
"Syah!!"  
  
She was just too slow, however, as one of the mutants grabbed for her, latching onto her shoulder and scraping its wrist blades across the back of her armor.  
  
Asuka struggled upward, attempting to ignore the snake-like hissing as the horrid creature pounded her back. When she had almost reached the top and Kyle pulled himself out, she felt the weight shift on her shoulder as the mutation raised its blade for her neck.  
  
Asuka's expression hardened, and she shouted in rage, pulling out her handgun and smashing the handle into the creature's chest. Before it could fully recover and attack, it found the more dangerous end of the weapon squashed into its throat.  
  
*Blam!* Blood and gore blasted out into the tunnel below, and the mutant corpse slowly slid off of Asuka's shoulder as she hoisted herself onto the street.  
  
*Shhhhhhhhhk* *Kong!* The manhole cover slammed back into place, and Tiro wiped the sweat off his brow as he sat on the deserted street.  
  
  
  
"Oh man, that was rough. Hope Ranma got out okay." Tiro glanced over to where Asuka and Snake were sitting, the latter adjusting a dial on a remote-control detonator, and the former just trying to catch her breath and calm down. "Hey... uh, Captain. About what you said earlier..." He stopped and bigsweated as she glared at him coldly.  
  
Then she turned away and snorted. "Get real Yamazaki. Since you managed to get the cover off and we're still alive, technically, there's a VERY remote possibility that something like that could happen." She ran a hand through her long blue hair, then stroked it to try and get out the dust and dirt.  
  
Tiro's face fell. "But... but... come on! That's just cruel!"  
  
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Please. It was a life or death situation Yamazaki; I wasn't THAT desperate."  
  
*Beep!* Snake barked a short laugh, and stood up, raising his detonator to the sky.  
  
"Ha ha ha! They're cooked in five! Four! Three! Two! One!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Thwack!*  
  
Ranma rolled with the punch over the concrete, even as Wolf pressed his attack and pursued. Stopping his momentum suddenly with his arm, he pushed himself up into a kick which took his opponent by surprise, knocking him back. Ranma pushed himself into the air, spinning to bring around another kick to deflect Wolf's next punch.  
  
Wolf grunted as Ranma's foot hit his wrist, and then reached forward to punch at Ranma's head, missing by millimeters.  
  
Growling, Wolf threw a series of punches at Ranma's head, but couldn't land a single one before Ranma's form blurred and disappeared.  
  
*Thunk!* Wolf gritted his teeth as Ranma's foot sunk into his stomach, and tried to hit him in response, but Ranma fell low to the ground, and then swept the German's feet out from under him.  
  
Wolf managed to flip back rather than fall, and leapt into the air over the sewer reservoir.  
  
Ranma followed suit, and was about to lash out with another kick, when the glimmer of steel flashed from Wolf's hands.  
  
"YOW!!!" Ranma barely twisted in time as the knives cut in flashing arcs all around his target, landing only a meter away from Wolf as they both landed.  
  
Wolf snapped his wrists, and the two blades whizzed toward his target, each missing to cut deeply into the wall.  
  
Wolf chuckled, then slipped two more blades from his belt. "And here I was worried about getting a good fight. Be careful what you wish for, I suppose!"  
  
  
  
Ranma stopped for a moment here to appreciate the irony that the first professional assassin ever hired to kill him had turned out to be one of the nicest and most reasonable men he had ever fought.  
  
Sakura was almost crying at the danger Ranma was in. From her position across the sewage pit, she could easily make out the way Wolf's punches made craters in the surrounding concrete and his knives cut rock that they didn't even touch. That Ranma was apparently matching his opponent's superhuman abilities didn't really get through to her.  
  
  
  
"Come on!" Wolf shot forward, his arms moving swiftly as he cut deep arcs into the air around him. Ranma was forced to keep his distance to avoid getting gutted like a fish; whoever this guy was, he was good. It was sort of like fighting Ryoga and Kuno at the same time, except that this man was more dangerous with two butterfly knives than Kuno was with one bokken.  
  
Ranma jumped backward, then rebounded off of a wall to shoot straight at Wolf, just barely diving under a wicked horizontal slash.  
  
*Poom!* Ranma's fist hit hard, and Wolf staggered, having the wind knocked out of him.  
  
*Bam* *Bam* With two swift kicks, Ranma disarmed the German assassin, before sending him flying backward with a punishing roundhouse to the head.  
  
Wolf grunted as he slid across the floor, then slowly got up and wiped some blood from his mouth.  
  
"Damn. I'm not done just yet!" He pulled out two more blades from his belt, and flipped them open.  
  
Ranma shifted slightly, twisting to narrow his profile to Wolf, and irritably rubbing a sore spot where his foe had already gotten in a good punch.  
  
"Ranma? Are you okay?"  
  
Ranma blinked, then turned around. "Sakura? What are you still doing here? It's dangerous!"  
  
Sakura flinched back slightly, and then her eyes widened. "Ranma! Look out!!"  
  
Ranma's danger sense warned him just milliseconds before Sakura did, and he leapt back even as the knife blade flashed its deadly arc through the air.  
  
*Shing!* Ranma grit his teeth as he felt the cold steel graze the skin of his arm as it flew past, and launched a return kick that missed as Wolf leapt towards him in a tackle.  
  
*Whump!* Both fighters hit the ground just a few meters away from Sakura, with Wolf on top. The German snarled, then flipped one knife in his hands before thrusting it towards Ranma's head.  
  
*Shunk* It sank deeply into the concrete, landing just two millimeters to the left of Ranma's ear as the pigtailed man cocked his head quickly to one side.  
  
"RANMA!!!"  
  
Ranma ignored Sakura's scream, and let out a low growl as he tried to free his arm from under Wolf's knee.  
  
  
  
*KAAAAAA-KROOOOOOOOOM!!!!*  
  
  
  
None of the three were expecting the titanic explosion, and they all turned (except for Ranma, who could only move his head a little) to watch as a huge blast of fire shot out of the floodgate that Ranma and Sakura had come from.  
  
"What the blazes..." Wolf stared dubiously at the blackened gate, and frowned as he watched the walls shake slightly.  
  
He didn't remember that he was in the middle of a fight until Ranma had already pulled his arm free.  
  
"Eat this! Katchuu tenshin armaguriken!"  
  
Wolf's eyes widened as hundreds of punches jack-hammered into his chest, and gasped out as Ranma followed the barrage with a fierce uppercut that hit hard enough to make his ribs creak.  
  
Sakura watched the exchange fearfully, occasionally casting glances about as large, deep cracks started moving through the walls of the reservoir area, occasionally bursting out as the concrete barriers could no longer withstand the pressure of the sewage forced against them.  
  
Ranma didn't pull his fist back from Wolf's chest, and grunted as he began to lift the larger man off of him.  
  
Calvin would have none of it, and spit out a mess of blood to the side before lifting his own fist and pounding it savagely straight into Ranma's chest (so that he would have no chance to wriggle to the side).  
  
"Ranma!! No! Please stop!"  
  
*Crack* *Kr-r-r-r-r*  
  
Ranma clenched his teeth as he felt his body break the concrete beneath his back. "Sakura!! Get out of here! NOW!!!"  
  
The blonde police officer bit her lip as she watched Ranma struggle against the larger man, trying to weigh her feelings for him against her survival instinct, Ranma's orders, and the chance that she could actually help Ranma anyway.  
  
*Chugh! Krrrrrrrk... Crash!* A large piece of piping plummeted from above, falling just inches in front of Sakura and prompting a short rain of broken concrete and debris to drive her back.  
  
Sakura grit her teeth. "Ranma! Please, come back to me!" Choking out a quick prayer for her love's safety, she turned and ran for the nearest ladder to the streets.  
  
  
  
Wolf glanced in her direction to watch her go. "Oomph... nice girl," he ground out, trying to force his fist down onto Ranma's throat.  
  
Ranma nodded as he forced Wolf's fist back and freed his other hand. "Rrrrgh... yeah, she is..."  
  
"Urgh... cute, too..." Wolf grabbed Ranma's wrist, but it twisted free, and Ranma's fist slammed into his shoulder.  
  
"Uh huh," Ranma agreed, and tried to retract his fist, only to have his arm caught.  
  
"So... *Cough* have you two-ugh!-you know, done it yet?"  
  
Ranma ceased his struggles and stared at Wolf blandly. "Hey, is this a fight or what?"  
  
The German assassin blinked. "Oh. Quite right. Quite right." He reached behind his belt to slip out a knife, and swiftly flipped it around to drive into Ranma's chest.  
  
Ranma wrenched both his hands free, and slammed his palms flat against the cracked floor. "I... don't... THINK SO!!!" Using all his strength, he pulled both his body and Wolf's up off of the ground, and flipped the larger man off of him before he himself flipped away.  
  
"Grrrr... give up and die!" Wolf landed on his feet, and took out several smaller knives from a pocket inside his jacket before hurling them at Ranma.  
  
Ranma backed away from the deadly projectiles, flipping over concrete walkways and avoiding the falling debris as the sewer tunnels continued to crumble apart.  
  
Wolf rushed after his target, grabbing up more knives and hurling them at his foe with deadly accuracy. Deadly, that is, if you weren't inhumanly agile.  
  
Ranma backflipped into the air, landing on a pipeline above and running across it as steel blades sliced through the air (and everything else they touched) around him.  
  
*Shing!* *Shuuuung!* Heavy iron piping was cut cleanly through, and Ranma leapt from his perch as the large metal construction splashed into the narrowing river of human waste.  
  
Ranma turned around, and smirked slightly as he saw Wolf staggering forward to meet him. The German had gotten in a few good hits, but Ranma had gotten in more, and the two fighters were almost even in both strength and constitution.  
  
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*  
  
He was about to taunt his opponent into doing something stupid (standard procedure for Ranma's fights), when his sensitive hearing picked up a very soft electronic noise coming from behind him. Ranma turned to glance at the origin of the noise, and could just barely make out a circular object placed flat against the wall in the shadows, minutely illuminated by three small, glowing blue lights placed in a triangle around the core of the object.  
  
'Wait. Snake said he put charges around the subway tunnel. That must've been what that other explosion was; it caused too much structural damage to just be the train. Didn't he also say something about proximity mines? And they were set at... at... oh, HELL no...'  
  
Ranma gulped, then turned his head slightly to see a large pipe running through the ceiling and into the concrete floor. Attached to it was a pressure gauge, and a small tablet that marked it as a primary gas line.  
  
*Whhhhhhhhssssss...* Ranma didn't need to see the incoming knife to move to the side in time, and it whizzed by to embed itself on the side of the pipe opposite the three area-sensitive explosives.  
  
Ranma whirled around to face Wolf again. "No! Wait! The mines! Hold it!"  
  
"What mines?!" Wolf snarled, taking out another knife and snapping it into a line for Ranma's neck.  
  
Ranma dodged, leaping far to the side as the hurled blade dug itself into the wall firmly in the middle of the triangulated explosives.  
  
The small, almost unnoticeable blue lights turned an angry red. *Beeeeeeeeeeep* This time, the electronic whine was loud enough for all to hear.  
  
"Those mines," Ranma mumbled miserably.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Sakura was beside herself with worry on the streets above the surface, pacing and fretting tirelessly next to the manhole cover she had removed.  
  
Ranma was good, but was he a match for this other man? Oh! If only she wasn't so useless!  
  
Starting to feel depressed, Sakura stopped in front of the manhole and leaned over slightly, trying to peer down into the sewers below.  
  
*KAAAAAABLAAAAAAAAM!!!!*  
  
The blonde woman was blown backward more from surprise than by the force of the fiery blast exploding out of the small sewer entrance. Looking around in panic, she could see the various surrounding sewer grates also blow out violent gouts of flame.  
  
She stared in horror at the sight, and then her fragile mental state, already severely strained by the day's events, shattered into pieces.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Ranma!! NO!!! Ranma's dead!! I'm sorry!! I'm so sorry!! I should've stayed, and... and... WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
*Krrrnk!* Sakura looked up to see a sewer grate get pulled down, and then watched as a charred, soot-covered arm reached up.  
  
Ranma pulled himself the rest of the way up, coughing and sputtering. "Geez! *Cough!* *Cough!* Stupid jerk! *Hack!* *Cough!* Didn't even listen..."  
  
*Glomp* "Erk!" Ranma's eyes started tearing as Sakura formed a death grip on his torso.  
  
"Ranma!! You're alive!! I'm so happy!! I thought you were dead and that you weren't coming back and that I would be all alone and I was so scared and I thought that you were gonna die and-"  
  
"Sakura," Ranma choked out, "burns... hurt... hug... bad... help... pain..."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
Yoshi Konta blinked, then craned his neck to stare at the bullet-holes that surrounded his head. "Is something wrong, Alex?"  
  
The president of Wraith Labs snarled, and re-aimed her pistol, this time so that it wouldn't miss. "Stop taking this so calmly! Get on your knees and beg for your life, like you're supposed to!!" Across the room, Bei sweatdropped at the display.  
  
Yoshi blinked again, then shrugged and slowly climbed down to his knees. "Oh. Please don't kill me," he stated blandly.  
  
A vein popped out on Alex's head. "Say it like you mean it!!" She moved out from behind her desk and stepped closer, placing the gun mere inches from Yoshi's forehead.  
  
The head scientist of Wraith Labs didn't even twitch. "Ah. Something IS bothering you. I can tell."  
  
Bei winced as Alexandra started trembling slightly, and the gun in her hands wavered unsteadily as her hands shook with fury.  
  
Yoshi, somehow, managed to ignore what was a very real threat to his future existence. "It's that little package I was working on, isn't it?"  
  
Alex nodded slowly, her teeth clenched tight. "WHY did you go over my head like that?!"  
  
Yoshi cocked his head to one side. "Well, I thought you might get upset about the whole thing."  
  
"Gee, YOU THINK?!?!?!" The vein had returned. Forcing her hands downward to point the gun at a less lethal area (she DID need Konta, any way she looked at it), she counted to twenty in her head before returning her attention back to the small man before her.  
  
"Why did you do this?! Project Mobius has a very strict schedule! You can't just go off and suddenly create entirely new subjects at whim!!"  
  
Yoshi blinked. "Why not?"  
  
*Crash* Alex got up slowly from her facefault, shaking once more in barely restrained anger. "You can't simply use our resources to create and test entirely new subjects on a whim! Especially using biological devices as dangerous and uncontrollable as the T-virus! Are you mad? That thing could wipe out all of Japan!!"  
  
Yoshi lowered his head and rubbed his chin. "Yes... I suppose so. Oh well!" He smiled. "I just wanted to see if I could do it, really. Improve upon the E-series mutants, I mean."  
  
Alex stared at him. "'See if you could do it'?! You are not playing with toys, Konta! This is dangerous technology; LIVING technology!! We must adhere to the plan, or all could be lost!"  
  
Yoshi snorted. "Oh, pishposh. A contractor doesn't tell an artist how to paint, now does he? You wanted mutant soldiers. Well, I'll give you that. That, and more." The weasely little man grinned, and Alex shivered even as she set her 9 mm. on her desk.  
  
Yoshi turned to leave. "Don't worry about me or my research, dear Alex. I'll have a new genetic graft, the Kain Module, completed soon. My creations will fuel your dream. Your money is being well spent. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Yoshi walked calmly out of the office, unharmed and in high spirits.  
  
  
  
Back in the President's office, Alex and Bei both stared at the open door, stunned, and a little awed, by Yoshi's display.  
  
Finally, Alex broke the silence.  
  
"Arrogant asshole."  
  
"Total," Bei agreed.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"All right! This is awesome! Hey Junko, you got any more beer!"  
  
"*Giggle* Hold on, big guy."  
  
Junko mostly ignored the radio as she walked into her kitchen, completely topless. She had kept it on for some background music, but somewhere down the line it had gone into some emergency news bulletin.  
  
*And so the explosion in subway line 71 was followed by an explosion at the Narugawa subway station, where an uncontrolled subway car, apparently packed with high explosives, hit another inactive subway train and detonated, destroying much of the station itself. Luckily, there were only a few minor injuries.*  
  
Junko grabbed a case of alcoholic beverages from within her refrigerator, and then turned to frown at the radio.  
  
*THIS accident was soon followed by a mysterious detonation in a nearby sewer system, apparently caused by the ignition of that area's primary gas main, though it had been cut off from other gas lines earlier in the day due to safety concerns. Apparently, very valid ones. The damage is all extensive, and city officials estimate that repairs will take over a year and cost more than-* *Click*  
  
Junko shook her head as she walked out of the kitchen, having turned off the radio. "Man, why don't you ever hear anything but BAD news nowadays? Sheesh."  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Due to the apparent popularity of my "Statue Kill Counter" in the last chapter, from now on I'll show a kill counter for every chapter. That is all.  
  
  
  
Total zombies wasted: 27  
  
G-series mutants annihilated: 30  
  
Subterranean structures destroyed: 3  
  
  
  
End Chapter 7 


	8. Tsunami

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon  
  
And he said, "Let there be protection from unintentional copyright infringements." And lo, there were disclaimers for all.  
Just for reference, dialogue in { } indicates a second laguage being spoken, while / / indicates a third. The languages themselves vary from scene to scene, and will be explained. As usual, [ ] indicates signs or writing, and ' ' is thoughts.  
  
Guardian  
Chapter 8  
Tsunami  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
John Remerick glanced once again at the readouts. "No, it just doesn't make any sense. There's something we're not seeing here."  
Admiral Morimoto, who had called the meeting, snorted in disdain. He had always despised the fact that the American had managed to attain and hold a high position in their military ranks despite being a foreigner. The fact that he had also proven to be quite capable at his job only made the insult worse.  
"Well of COURSE there's something we're not seeing! What is their target? They can only be here to attack us!"  
John shook his head. "I'm telling you, they're NOT here to attack. It doesn't make any sense. Six Russian subs, all taking positions around Tokyo harbor. No attacks, no threats, no demands, no reinforcements..." he sighed, "and ultimately, no explanation."  
The Vice Admiral shook his head as he looked at the large table-top contour map that showed the foreign vessels' positions. "How can you be so sure they're not here to attack? Perhaps we should prepare for an invasion from the west. We only contacted Russia yesterday about the presence of their war vessels, and they have yet to give us any kind of response."  
Remerick jabbed a finger at the two subs nearest to the harbor. "I think they're looking for something. Russia can't possibly be preparing for war with Japan just out of the blue like this, and even if they were, there's simply no point in starting it by moving six very expensive war vessels deep into enemy territory."  
Morimoto snorted again. "They are enemy war machines and they are in our territory! There is no reason that we cannot destroy them immediately! This is a clear violation of-"  
"ADMIRAL," Remerick interrupted, earning a furious glare from the decorated officer, "though we would be in the right to eliminate a possible threat to the mainland, there's no reason to. Russia wouldn't put those subs there to attack us, but they wouldn't put them there without a good reason, either. We must go into this with both eyes open."  
The Vice Admiral noticed that Morimoto was practically grinding his teeth and prepared to intervene. "I still think it has something to do with our new off-shore oil drilling platforms."  
Remerick sighed. "But that hardly makes sense either. The subs' formation doesn't even take the platform into account."  
Morimoto glared hard at the general. "And why else could they be here? Do you think it's a coincidence that they showed up just after information was leaked to the public, and when they are so near to completion already?"  
John stared somewhat balefully at the Japanese officer. He was well aware that he wasn't widely accepted or well liked among the executive officers, but Morimoto made a point of creating conflict with him. The only reason he had been invited to this meeting was because the Prime Minister had ordered it, as he was far more well-versed in Russia's military strategies and procedures.  
"Coincidences DO happen, Admiral. The Russians simply have no reason to care about-"  
"Oh?" Morimoto interrupted, "Really? What about sabotage? Without those new platforms, we are almost totally dependent on imported oil supplies!"  
"And why would the Russians want to sabotage us?" John shot back tiredly.  
"Who knows? But we need to 'keep both eyes open'," he mocked. "Or perhaps it's not sabotage. Perhaps they mean to steal the plans for the drilling platforms? Russia could benefit greatly from a fully efficient drilling platform."  
"Somehow I don't think the thermal carbines will work as well in Siberia's water," John muttered wryly. "But it doesn't matter. I suggest we wait until they state what it is they want, and if it's in our interest to do so, assist them and get them out as quickly as possible." Morimoto sneered at him as he got up and put on his hat.  
"Personally, I think the oil platforms are in far more danger from the Freedom's Angels. But that's my concern, not yours." He smirked slightly as the Admiral twitched, and the Vice Admiral cast him a wary glance.  
  
John Remerick emerged from the war room, and immediately nodded to his left. An obviously female figure stepped up next to him, keeping pace as the general walked from the room.  
{"That man is a fool,"} John said in English, and shook his head. {"If he tries to oust those subs by himself, he'll get half the Japanese navy annihilated."}  
The woman next to him smiled. She was a devastatingly attractive brunette, and her formal business suit just seemed to hug the contours of her body and chest and show off her figure. {"He'll be in for a hell of a surprise if he tries. I've seen the new sonar systems on the G-12 Typhoons. Capable of full 3-D rendering of the surrounding area, providing infallible target acquisition data. State-of-the-art silent running systems. Real neat stuff."}  
John nodded. {"We can't be rash about this. There's something we haven't hit upon yet. A piece missing..."}  
He stopped, and the woman slowed down ahead of him before stopping to wait.  
After a moment, John shrugged and began walking again. {"Ultimately, it's not my decision. What IS my decision is what I'm going to do about the off-shore platforms. They make a very attractive target."}  
The woman nodded. {"Right. We'll need to reposition our forces if we're to make sure nothing will get through. I'm sure the FAs will try SOMETHING to destroy them."} She hesitated, then slowly continued. {"By the way, what are we going to do about..."} She trailed off, and John grimaced.  
"Nothing Mia," he answered in Japanese, "we'll just leave them alone, and hope they don't get in the way. There's only one department for this job, and it's NOT-"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So as you can see," Snake continued on, hefting the large vulcan cannon onto his lap, "the vulcan cannon's longer barrel allows for much greater accuracy at long range. It's upscale model is the phalanx, which is actually used to shoot down missiles." Snake put down the cannon and pointed to the blocky chaingun on the ground below him. "The vindicator minigun, on the other hand, is simply engineered to spray as many bullets around as possible. Which makes it better." He smiled, and lifted up yet another gun among the pile scattered on the floor. This one had a hefty-looking barrel with a copper finish, but still appeared light. "This is the Pancor Jackhammer, the most powerful automatic shotgun ever built. It's my personal favorite for corridor fighting."  
Junko yawned. Ranma scratched his chin for a bit. "Man, where do you get all this stuff, anyway?"  
Snake grinned. "I have several... 'friends' in various R&D labs across Japan. They get me access to the really neat stuff. I've also got a mail-order catalog from this military collector in the States, who ships me some inventory from decommissioned US ammo dumps."  
Ranma blinked. "Isn't that illegal? In both coutries? Like, on several different levels?"  
Snake shrugged. "Nobody's complained so far. In any case, weaponry will frequently prove a vital part of our operations. I mean, think about it, what do we have that, say, the FAs don't?"  
Ranma thought for a moment, moving past the obvious answer that Snake was looking for. "Brains?"  
Junko and Snake both turned to look off to the side, where Kyle and Tiro were trying to fix the Rhino, and tearing it apart in the process.  
"Right, right, never mind. Guns, then?"  
Snake smiled and patted Ranma on the head, a gesture which he quite heartily resented. "Exactly! We have hundreds of millions of yen invested in just about every kind of military weapons system ever created! When all else fails, hit the C4! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"  
Ranma sweatdropped. "I think the lieutenant's lost it."  
"I'm not sure the lieutenant ever had it," Junko mumbled in response.  
  
Over by the workbench, Tycho was flipping idly through a magazine while waiting for Kyle and Tiro to give up and ask him to do it. He turned the page, and his eyes bulged.  
"Whoa! She is HOT!! You guys! Check this out!"  
*Zip!* Tiro was by his side instantly, even as Kyle was still standing up from his crouch.  
Ranma looked over and blinked as he saw the cover of the magazine. "Business Weekly?"  
Tycho shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a stockholder."  
Ranma moved over to the bench along with everybody else, noting that for some reason, Tiro looked disappointed. He couldn't imagine why, as the woman in the full-body photograph looked liked something straight from the Playboy Mansion, only dressed in a business suit.  
"Oh, it's Alex." Tiro looked at the caption as everyone else stared at him. "New president of Wraith Labs? Wow, she's doing pretty well for herself."  
Tycho gaped at him. "You... YOU... know her?"  
Tiro shrugged. "Actually, she's my cousin."  
Kyle stared at him, then at the picture, then back at him. "Distant cousin?"  
"Don't get smart," Tiro remarked, annoyed, and forgetting who he was talking to, "she's my cousin, okay? End of story. Though I am surprised to see her in business."  
"What do you mean?" Tycho asked, "And is she single?"  
Tiro rolled his eyes. "Well, she's always played the rebel, you know? She was kind of the black sheep of the family. While just about everyone in our family gets jobs with the government or positions in helpful non-profit organization, she was preaching the overthrowing of the established government and anarchist theories and supporting local crime gangs by smuggling automatic weapons into Japan."  
Everybody continued staring at him.  
"When she was in sixth grade, she made a complete plan for the internal invasion of Japan as a presentation for class. In tenth grade, she formulated a working anarchist economy for a social studies project. When she entered college, she turned the football team into her own private army overnight and seized control of the entire campus."  
The staring continued.  
Tiro noticed this time, and gave another shrug. "Like I said, black sheep."  
Tycho looked back at the photo. "Whoa... so... what was her number again?"  
Junko leveled a flat stare at him. "You still want it, after all that?"  
"Personality is overrated."  
"At least it sounds like she HAS one," Ranma muttered, rolling his eyes and walking out of the garage. Tycho ignored him, flipping through the magazine to look for more photos of Tokima.  
  
Sakura checked the mirror one last time, going over every inch of her face for smudges of makeup or any remaining imperfections.  
'Okay girl, this is it. Just like Junko said; thanks for saving my life, could I treat you to dinner? Then make your move.' She smiled radiantly into the mirror, then turned around and headed out of the locker room. She was really more used to being chased than doing the chasing, but she had to admit, this was fun too.  
She caught sight of him chatting with Asuka, and rushed up to meet him, opening her mouth to call his name...  
"Ranma!"  
Sakura frowned. That had sounded far too excited, and oddly low pitched for her voice. Had she accidentally swallowed some makeup?  
It wasn't until Ranma turned toward the DAPC headquarter's front entrance that she realized it hadn't been her at all.  
"Ranma, it's been so long! How have you been?"  
Ranma blinked and smiled. "Hi Mizu! What are you doing here?"  
Sakura twitched. Tall woman, long, raven black hair in a style not unlike her own, conservative business suit coupled with a very non-conservative miniskirt. And while she didn't seem to be as... gifted as Sakura, she had a curvaceous figure that would get any man's attention as well.  
The woman smiled and ran up to Ranma before trapping him in a full-body hug. Sakura twitched some more.  
"Friend of yours, Saotome?" Asuka asked with a hint of ice in her voice.  
Ranma disengaged himself from Mizu and smiled, even though he was bit set off by the tone of voice and narrowed eyes. What was with that, anyway? "Yeah, this is Mizu Kotetsu. We were at the same academy. Mizu, this is Asuka Takami. She's the captain around here."  
Mizu looked around, grinning. "So, this is the infamous DAPC, huh? Not too bad. From what I heard, I would have thought you'd be brewing methanphetamines in here or something."  
"Yes, well, you know how rumors are," Asuka remarked dryly.  
Mizu nodded absently. "You're not kidding. I even heard you guys destroyed twelve blocks of sewer and subway systems!"  
"No, that's true." Ranma said.  
Mizu started. "Are you serious? Do you know how much explosives it would take to destroy that much steel and concrete?"  
"Plus the other subway station four miles away," Ranma added.  
Mizu gaped. Asuka sighed and covered her face with her hands in exasperation.  
"Oh! Hello Ranma! Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"  
Ranma turned around, noticing Sakura's presence for the first time. She was smiling uneasily, and for some reason that Ranma couldn't possibly conceive, her left eye was twitching sporadically.  
"Oh, sure. This is Sakura Tekai. Sakura, this is a friend of mine, Mizu Kotetsu."  
Sakura bowed stiffly. "So NICE to meet you, Kotetsu. Any friend of Ranma's is a friend of mine!"  
Mizu's eyes narrowed as she bowed back. This woman was practically shouting a challenge. "Nice to meet you too, Tekai. I'm sure we'll be VERY good friends."  
Ranma stared as the two women stood, smiling sweetly at each other, and a jolt of electricity sparked between them.  
'What the hell?' "So Mizu, where'd you go off to?"  
Mizu broke eye contact to smile warmly at Ranma. "Well, my instructors were very impressed by my scores, so they offered me a chance to get into a special operations force in the internal military forces. It's sort of like a high-tech SWAT team. We do heavy assault and precision raids."  
"Special operations?" Asuka mused. "You mean Core?"  
Mizu nodded happily. "Yup! Most powerful infantry force in Japan!"  
Asuka sighed slightly. "I've heard a lot about them. That's the division I was originally trying to get into." 'I would have made it too, if that asshole of unit inspector had kept his hands to himself. So what if I bruised a few pelvic bones? He totally had it coming!'  
As the police captain trailed off into mental rants, Mizu turned back toward Ranma. "So Ranma, I was thinking you and me could have dinner tomorrow, maybe catch up on old times?"  
Ranma was about to answer, when Sakura suddenly grabbed his arm and tugged him slightly toward her. "That's not possible, I'm afraid. You see, I'm treating Ranma to dinner tomorrow, to thank him for saving my life last week."  
Ranma blinked. "You are?" Sakura smiled sweetly and nodded.  
Mizu's eyes narrowed. "Well that's a shame, but I'm sure you can reschedule. You see, I had to fight to get an evening off work, and I already have reservations set up. I'm sure you understand."  
The false smiles disappeared, and the glaring started. Ranma stared blankly at the confrontation, then grimaced as both women turned their sharp gazes on him.  
"Well Ranma?" They spoke in unison.  
'Oh, bloody hell. Why me?' "Um, look, Sakura, thanks for the offer, but don't worry about it, okay? I haven't seen Mizu in a while, and she did make those reservations already..." Ranma trailed off as Sakura bristled.  
  
Over by the hallway, Tiro and Tycho chuckled as they watched the engagement. "Man, this is a monster cat fight waiting to happen."  
"Thousand yen says there'll be hair pulling."  
"You're on."  
  
Mizu smiled warmly. "Why thank you Ranma, that's very considerate of you. I have this great place in mind too."  
Sakura's glare, now redirected onto Mizu, had dropped to arctic level. "Well Ranma," her voice was honey over ice, "maybe now we could go back to training? I want to learn those neat holds you showed me."  
'Holds? What holds?' Ranma was tempted to speak the inquiry aloud, but a little voice in his head (one that he too frequently ignored) warned him not to.  
Mizu frowned for a moment, then cleared her throat. "I really should freshen up for a moment. Where is your bathroom?"  
"Oh, let me show you! It's right here, through the locker room." Ranma noted that Sakura's eye was twitching again as she led Mizu away.  
He then noted that Tiro and Tycho grinned as the women passed, shared a chuckle, and then followed them.  
Ranma could only look on in puzzlement. "Why don't I ever know what's going on?"  
"I suspect your mother dropped you on your head at a tender age," was Asuka's swift reply.  
  
Mizu traveled toward the washroom section of the locker room for a bit before twirling around to face Sakura, who had entered the room behind her.  
"Okay, listen up Barbie, I don't know what's between you and Ranma right now, but as far as you're concerned, it just ended. Got that?"  
Sakura growled at the taller woman. "Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to just march in here and declare him yours?!"  
Mizu crossed her arms over her chest. "What gives me the right? Hours of talking and supporting each other. Weeks of trying to get his attention and break down the emotional walls he's built, all wasted because some moron of a self-defense instructor thought he was a cocky smartass! I know Ranma! I care about him!"  
Sakura stiffened. 'Emotional walls?' "Well that's too bad! I'm not going to step down and give him up just because you think you deserve him more!"  
Mizu's stare hardened. "I don't THINK I deserve him more, I know it! Listen Barbie, I'm not some tramp out looking for a hot bod for my next fling. I... I love Ranma! He needs someone! And not some empty-headed little blondie looking for a place to hang her insecurities!"  
Little wisps of steam started shooting out of Sakura's ears. "What?! I DO care about him! More than you can possibly know!" She stopped shouting and frowned. "And why do you keep calling me 'Barbie'?"  
Mizu grinned. "Because you look nice, but when you get right down to it, nothing's real."  
Sakura blinked, wondering if she'd just been complimented or subjected to a complex, subtle insult. "What?"  
Mizu smirked. "Not too bright either, eh? I guess silicon kills brain cells."  
Understanding snapped into place, and Sakura turned red like a flashing police siren. "THEY ARE NOT FAKE!!! You take that back!! These are 100% natural and totally organic!!" She thrust her chest out for emphasis, glaring hatefully at the other woman.  
Mizu was about to come up with another biting remark, when she noticed that they weren't alone in the locker room. "What the-?"  
Sakura blinked, then turned around to see Tiro and Tycho standing just inside the room and grinning like idiots. "Hey! You perverts! What're you doing?"  
Tycho shook his head slightly. "Oh, come on. It's not like you're getting dressed or anything."  
Tiro waved for them to go ahead. "Don't mind us. Just go back to what you were doing. Pretend like we're not even here."  
  
"Ah yes. Women. Man's greatest challenge." Snake took a sip of beer as he stood in the hallway with Ranma and Kyle.  
"I just don't get it, you know?" Ranma started, sighing. "Everything I do is just, well... wrong. I don't understand them at all."  
Kyle shook his head, and chugged his own beer before responding. "A woman's mind is a terrible, ancient mystery. One of those mysteries that we've never been able to unlock or understand, and possibly never will. Like geometry."  
Snake leaned back on the wall. "Personally, I've totally given up the whole thing. It's pointless. Every single woman I've ever dated has, over varying periods of time, stopped returning my calls, just like that. And whenever I keep trying to reach them, I get a restraining order in the mail. It's weird." He took another sip of his beer. "Sometimes I'll see one of my ex's on the street, and for some reason they usually scream and run away."  
Ranma stared at him, then shook his head. "I'd like to say I'm surprised, but..."  
"In any case, there's no point in thinking about it too hard," Kyle began, "your best bet is to just try to stay out of their way and not make 'em mad."  
Ranma snorted. "Like that ever works."  
Kyle shrugged. "Yeah. Sometimes it seems like anything'll set them off."  
There were suddenly the sounds of a struggle coming from the locker room, and the door burst open as Tycho and Tiro were tossed into the opposite wall, one right after the other.  
Mizu and Sakura exited the locker room immediately afterwards, and left the area in different directions.  
Ranma stared at the two men groaning in a heap on the floor. "Then again, maybe it IS us."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Alexandra frowned as she got out of the cab and was immediately pelted by the heavy rain. Bei exited the other side, and rushed the umbrella over to her superior, who ignored her assistant's apologies as she walked to the appointed meeting place.  
Although the man she was meeting claimed the matter he was calling on to be important, Alex had other things on her mind. The government had done an unbelievable job with hiding as big and instrumental a project as the new thermal drill off-shore oil wells, and now they were almost complete. A project like that was practically BEGGING her to de-rail it. With the projected values of the new platforms, Japan could refine almost all the oil it uses year-to-year, an already diminished figure due to new power cell systems becoming more easily available throughout Japan. And most of the revenues would go straight to the corrupt, oppressive bastards that held her country under their thumb.  
Alex sighed. Defenses around the platforms were bound to be tight, and though the Freedom's Angels represented a substantial military force, there was no way they'd win a straightforward attack on such a heavily fortified position. There were various ways to destroy the platforms, each of them flawed and with the possibility of being prevented, but Alex thought it a waste to destroy facilities that took so much time, effort, and money to construct. But in order to take them over, much less keep them, she'd have to get creative...  
She banished the thought as she reached the assigned meeting place, a lot in front on an abandoned warehouse by the docks, and watched warily for signs of movement in the shadows. Bei sensed her unease, and slipped her hand under her jacket, where her 9 mm. lay. It wasn't that the man she was meeting had anything to gain and nothing to lose by killing, or even trying to intimidate her, but there were other threats to be wary of.  
Alex straightened as she heard footsteps, and a man stepped into the glare of the dock lights, the heavily rain pummeling his umbrella.  
Yoki Hono was one of the local heads of Yakuza, and the owner of the largest illegal weapons cache in all of Japan. Short, with a lined face, Yoki wasn't very attractive or even particularly clever, but he was cautious and ruthless, not to mention smart enough to deal with Alex without staring at her cleavage the whole time. He wiped off his black business suit, moist from stray raindrops, then frowned as he saw Bei's hand still tucked into her jacket.  
"Feh. Just take out the gun. We're all packing heat, there's no reason not to have them handy." Yoki always spoke in the same sardonic tone, as if life was just one huge irony, or perhaps a prank. Alex liked dealing with Yoki.  
"I assume you called me here for a reason, Hono?" Alexandra asked, letting the slightest bit of impatience seep into her voice. Then she raised an eyebrow as another man walked into the light directly behind Yoki, no doubt a bodyguard.  
"Yes... well, it's a couple of things, really." Yoki trailed off as he caught his view panning down and away from Alex's face, and cleared his throat as he again made solid eye contact. Just because he knew that Alexandra was dangerous didn't mean he couldn't appreciate a look every once and again.  
*Click* Everybody turned to stare at Bei, who blinked in surprise, realizing that she had unconsciously cocked the pistol in her hand at the sight of the other man.  
The 'other man' was fairly tall, with locks of sandy hair poking out from a cap of bandages wrapped around his forehead. In fact, his entire body seemed to be wrapped in bandages, which were now soaked because he held no umbrella. Where the bandages ended at his wrists, he wore gloves. And where the bandages wrapped around his neck ended, he wore a full-face gas mask with the filter replaced by a small circular grill.  
"So now the Yakuza are employing Tusken Raiders? Really, you people shouldn't watch those American movies, they rot your mind." Alex smiled at the barb, though the body guard didn't move.  
"Yes yes, very clever," Yoki spat, annoyed. "Look, we have a deal with you. The Yakuza cooperates with the Freedom's Angels not because we believe in your fanatic rantings about freedom and anarchy, but because you have money, and keep the police in disarray." Yoki looked around nervously. "Now we've seen some of your work, and to be perfectly blunt, it's crazy! The mutants and the zombies..." he shuddered, "the Yakuza doesn't give a damn what you do to the government, but I don't know about all this crazy shit with the biological weapons. I've seen those videos with the T-virus..." Yoki shuddered badly.  
Alex's voice lost all humor in it. "And how, may I ask, did you find out about all that?"  
Yoki snorted. "Please. You Angels are all military and science. But the Yakuza still rule the streets. Information is one of my specialties."  
Alex stared for a moment, then nodded. "Fair enough. I agree that recent tests have... gone too far. But we are moving forward, and every effort is being made to contain our weapons."  
Yoki narrowed his eyes. "All right Tokima. I trust you. Just remember, you anarchists aren't doing anybody any good if you kill off the whole goddamn island..." Yoki again trailed off as he realized that Alexandra was no longer even looking at him, but at his bodyguard.  
"Something wrong, Tokima?"  
Alex frowned. "Just a feeling..." Then she smiled. "Wolf, is that you?"  
The man stiffened noticeably.  
Alex smiled warmly, which alone was enough to send the two experienced men back a step. "It is you! I knew it!" She took in the whole setup with the bandages and giggled. "Did Saotome turn out to be a little bit tougher than you expected? I was wondering why you never showed up to collect your pay."  
The head moved, and the goggle's wide glass lenses flashed for a moment in the light. "I didn't complete the job, so there was no reason to show up again." The voice came out scratchy, but whether it was distorted by whatever injuries he had sustained or by the mask, Alex couldn't tell.  
Yoki looked back and forth between Wolf and Alex. "You two know each other?"  
"She's a former client. Nothing more." Wolf replied almost mechanically.  
Alex frowned a bit. "What happened, anyway? That looks like quite a big band-aid for a bullet wound."  
"There was an explosion. A big one. Saotome was closer than I was to the source, but as I got out alive, I see no reason why he wouldn't."  
Alex nodded. "Oh well. Can't say you didn't try." Alexandra grinned, sensing Wolf's frown behind the mask. "Come on now, let me see. I've seen fire do all sorts of interesting things to skin."  
Wolf turned to look at his current employer.  
"What? What're you looking at me for? I don't care, we have some time before he arrives."  
Alex frowned. "He?"  
"A friend of mine. 'He' is what makes this meeting so important."  
Wolf turned back to Alexandra, and a leaden sigh came from behind the mouthpiece grill. First he unwrapped the sodden cloth around his head, letting his soaked hair fall down over his head. Then he slowly moved his hands to the back of his skull, and with a swift motion of his fingers, snapped the strap off his mask before clasping the front of it around the goggles and slowly lifting it off.  
Alex stared. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me. After a mask removal that dramatic?"  
Wolf looked pretty much the same, though his hair was obviously shorter, and his neck had some tender-looking spots that a licensed doctor could probably identify as healing burns.  
Wolf shrugged. "What can I say? I heal fast. Hurt like hell the first day, though." His voice was also normal, and Alex deduced that the earlier distortion was in fact the mask.  
The squeal of car tires echoed in the distance as a car parked on the other side of the warehouse.  
"Ah. My friend has arrived. You'll want to meet this man, Tokima."  
There were footsteps, and another man walked into the lights, the now lessening rain splattering against his long woolen coat. He was tall, dark, and clearly not Japanese at all. He had a pointed beard of thick brown hair, and the rest of his hair was covered by a tall wool cap. What was most odd about him though, was that his left eye was covered (or replaced, Alex couldn't tell) by a strange, red-lensed metal eyepiece that appeared to be clasped onto the side of his head, over his ear.  
"Ah! My good friend! You are well, yes?" The man raised his arms as if to embrace Yoki. Yoki merely nodded at him, then turned back to Alex.  
"This is Igov Yuchtzky, a... former... Russian military leader and weapons expert. I supply the Angels with grenades and bombs, the chainguns and rocket attachments for those junk mechs of yours, and enough AK-47s for most third-world armies. Igov is my supplier. Or was."  
Alexandra looked at the Russian speculatively as he turned around and looked at her. He grinned.  
"Yoki! You have such beautiful women here in Japan!" The man smiled warmly at her, in an almost fatherly way with no lechery behind it. "Tell me, beautiful flower, what is your name?" The view from his single eye encompassed both Alexandra and Bei.  
Alex decided that she liked him. Well enough, anyway. "You can call me Tokima. This is Bei." Her assistant and bodyguard bowed. "Now what do you mean, 'was'."  
Yoki sighed. "Well, I-"  
"It is okay, my friend. I will explain," Igov spoke. His Japanese was good enough, but it was still fractured slightly. "Igov is long time friend of Yakuza. Igov is also enemy of capitalist dogs that now run the motherland in their hateful iron fists. I give weapons to many many people, but after long time, Igov's luck has run out." The man chuckled, and Alex could swear that the red lens over his eyes glowed for a moment. "Igov escaped to Japan to ask for help. And maybe job."  
Alex frowned. "Explain."  
"I left Russia quickly, but Igov has many friends in high places, and many soldiers are more loyal to their commander than to their motherland. Igov took many things that Mother Russia wants back."  
Alex's eyebrows appeared to be climbing her forehead. "The Russian submarines... those are here looking for you?"  
Igov grinned and nodded. "Smart girl! The ignorant dogs left to try to prevent me from landing transport in harbor, but Igov is always one step ahead of reaper! They attack and sink transport just little while ago, kill maybe two men." He jerked his head to the side and shrugged, obviously deeming the loss insignificant.  
Alex nodded slightly in thought. "I see... what does all of this have to do with me?"  
Yoki coughed slightly, moving between Igov and Alexandra. He knew his politics, and in order to have any sway in the current situation, he would have to place himself as the mediator. "Mr. Yuchtzky is asking for a position within your organization, Tokima. The Yakuza cannot offer him asylum against Russian war machines, and you Angels could probably make better use of him anyway."  
Igov simply smiled and waited, hands clasped behind his back.  
Alexandra frowned, considering the possibilities. "And what does 'Igov' have to offer the Freedom's Angels in exchange for our protection?"  
Yoki stepped back next to Wolf, and Igov's grin came back in full force.  
"Igov has many gifts for new friends! Let me show you!" He pulled out a remote garage door opener from his heavy coat, and pushed the button.  
There was a loud grinding noise as the doors to the supposedly abandoned warehouse opened slowly.  
Alex tried to control her reaction, but she couldn't help the look of pleasant surprise on her face.  
"Twelve old tanks for you. They are IS-2. Is older model, but I'm sure you can make use of them. Igov also has 100 men waiting in old shipyards in harbor, all armed and trained soldiers." Igov's grin grew along with Alex's pleased look. "I have other gifts for you, but first we see about job, yes?"  
Alexandra let out a sultry chuckle, delighted, and sauntered up to the tall man. "Oh yes, I think we have a position for you all right." She raised her hand to his face gently traced his jawline with her index finger, smiling seductively. Oddly enough, Igov's grin faded into a more somber expression.  
"That is very good. Have your superiors contact me at this address." Igov moved away from Alexandra and handed her a slip of paper. "The tanks will be left here; you are free to do with them what you wish and pick them up at your leisure." Igov turned around, and then pointed to Wolf. "Now, if you will excuse me, I must speak to the German." This evidently surprised Yoki as much as it did Alex.  
Wolf didn't appear surprised, and idly took a pair of black sunglasses from his pocket before slipping them on. Igov nodded and moved away, and Wolf followed him silently. Yoki watched nervously as his bodyguard left, trying to keep a straight face as he was stripped of protection.  
Alex shook her head slightly. These Yakuza types were all homicidal control freaks or paranoid morons. She waved absently to Bei, and the buxom brunette handed her boss the umbrella and backed away into the shadows.  
"Now Hono, I have a... favor to ask of you."  
Yoki snorted, overcoming his nervousness at being unprotected. "Spare me. The Yakuza does not do 'favors' for the Angels. Tell me what you need, and I'll give you an estimate."  
Alex chuckled. "Ah, that's what I like about you Hono. You're so... down to Earth." She paused, and pursed her lips. "Tell me... is Yuchtzky... trustworthy?"  
Yoki nodded immediately. "I would swear my life by his allegiances. He despises traitors."  
Alex raised an eyebrow. Yoki shrugged. "He is a Communist. His allegiance is to the old Soviet Union, apparently. He claims he owes no allegiance to Capitalist Russia. And I certainly have no reason to complain."  
Alex scratched her chin in thought. "Good, good. The Yakuza basically owns the docks on the north edge of Tokyo Harbor, correct?"  
Yoki nodded cautiously.  
"Good. I have need of a large loading dock..."  
  
Igov turned once he was sure they were out of earshot of the lot, though the rain helped to conceal noise.  
{"It's been a long time, friend,"} he spoke in Russian, {"How have you been?"}  
Wolf scratched the back of his head. {"Can't... complain."} Wolf frowned as he tried to remember the bits and pieces of Russian he had picked up during his work in Siberia.  
{"From the look of those bandages, I think you could be doing better. What are they making you do here, that's so dangerous?"}  
{The martial artist tougher than believe you..."} Wolf trailed off, frowning. That hadn't sounded right. {"I supposed to kill man and fail... big bomb, uh, explosion."}  
Igov nodded, smiling. {"Ah, the life of a mercenary. Working for the Japanese mafia now, eh? I didn't think that was your style."}  
{"Need money,"} Wolf stated simply, slipping his hands in his pockets. /"The girl is watching us."/  
Igov blinked at the sudden switch from Russian to German. /"Which one?"/  
/"The short one. I'm pretty sure she can't speak German."/  
Igov nodded. /"Right. In any case, I have a business proposition for you. If you ever get tired of protecting second-rate thugs, contact me through Tokima. I have a job of the utmost interest."/  
Wolf nodded. /"Sure. It'll be a while though. There's some... business I need to take care of first."/ He stopped talking, then frowned. /"I didn't know you knew German so well. Why didn't we just talk in German?"/  
Igov laughed. /"It's best to always have the home field advantage, my friend. Besides, I needed a break from this Japanese. I swear, a man could swallow his own tongue just trying to say hello."/ He chuckled some more. /"Do you think Bei understood Russian?"/  
Wolf smirked slightly. /"Let's find out."/ He jerked his head to the side, as if just noticing a pair of eyes peeking through a darkened window. {"Hey! Someone watching!"}  
Igov turned around, and activated his left eye as a mass of body heat, partially distorted from the cold rain, darted through a warehouse. The yellow-red blob of light faded into the distance, and Igov put a hand on the side of his head where the metal visor was attached and deactivated it.  
Igov turned away and stared into the sky, unmindful of the rain that poured into his eye. /"It's a beautiful night, is it not?"/  
Wolf blinked, though it was impossible to tell from beneath his shades. /"Sure. If you're from Siberia, I guess anything but golfball hail is nice weather."/  
Igov laughed uproariously, and then shook his head as he slipped a plastic-coated box from his coat. Taking out a cigarette, he then covered his lighter with his palm to keep the rain from interfering as he lit it.  
Wolf looked about absently as he spoke. /"Those things'll kill you, you know."/  
Igov smirked. /"Spoken like one who has never been to war. If only we could all be so lucky as to die of cancer."/ Igov took a few puffs, then breathed out a thick cloud of smoke. /"You are strong, my friend, and brave, but you are no soldier. Go now, and enjoy the night."/ He looked upward again and breathed deeply in satisfaction.  
Wolf's smile slowly faded, and he walked back toward his current employer, occasionally stealing glances back at the one-eyed Russian, who merely continued staring at the moon.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Alexandra ran a hand through her hair, splashing little bits of water onto the white tile floors of the science lab.  
"I'm sorry Miss Tokima. I couldn't learn much... my Russian isn't very good and-"  
"It's all right Bei," Alex sighed, "it isn't important. So don't bring it up again." She smiled slightly at her assistant and friend, to let her know she wasn't being chastised.  
The dimly lit, empty halls of Wraith Lab's science facility loomed about them as they walked to Yoshi Konta's main lab, located in the center of the facility. It was there, and only there, that the last tankards of the deadly T-virus could be found.  
Alex punched the button to open the environmentally-sealed room, and walked in without further warning. As expected, Yoshi was happily typing away on his computer, modeling some gigantic, super-complex molecule or gene that was (grudgingly) far beyond Alexandra's formidable intelligence.  
"Hello. Do you want something?" Yoshi didn't even turned around.  
Alex smirked. "Actually, yes. You see, I have a plan involving those new oil drilling platforms that everybody's making such a fuss about. I need a sample of the T-virus. A large one. 100 gallons, about. But I need it in a special form that will be able to spread easily and quickly through water, and cause mutation when passed through something's respiratory system. It also needs to burn itself out forty eight hours after coming in contact with air or water." Alexandra's smirk grew. "And I need it in six hours."  
Yoshi nodded absently, and turned to another computer station.  
"Remember Konta," Alex continued, "that this is a vital part of my plan, and our superiors would be very disappointed to hear that you failed to live up to our expec-"  
*Tak* *Tak* "Done."  
*Thud!* Alex hit the ground with a vengeance. "Done?! What do you mean?"  
Yoshi turned around and smiled. "Well, how else can I put it? Finished? Complete? Task accomplished? Mission completed?" A large, steel-reinforced glass tank on the other end of the room started to fill with a thick, green goo. "How much did you say you needed?"  
Bei looked uncomfortably at the tank as it began to fill. She too had seen the tapes of Umbrella's experiments, and she didn't have the stomach for such things that Alex did.  
Alexandra picked herself off the floor. "But... but..."  
"How?" Yoshi guessed, then snorted. "Please. Such a simple variant isn't THAT hard to make. Besides, I saw this coming a mile away." Yoshi checked a few instruments next to the filling tank, nodded in satisfaction, then turned back to the still-reeling woman. "I knew you would only need me for one of two approaches: you would either hijack one of the Russian subs to use as cover to move forces onto one or both of the platforms, then put the virus in the underwater power turbines, effectively turning much of Tokyo harbor into something from a hellish sci-fi movie, or you would simply have me put the stuff in a rocket and launch it onto the platform, turning the workers and defenders into zombies. I made preparations for both."  
Bei sweatdropped and moved away as Alex's eye began to twitch again. "You... can't... I... and you..." 'He guessed my entire plan! I don't believe this! And he even... wait. That rocket thing sounds pretty good... NO!!! I won't give him the satisfaction!'  
She grinded her teeth together, trying to regain control of her voice. "Good... Good job, Konta. You've... outdone yourself this time." Muttering under her breath, she turned around to leave.  
The little scientist nodded absently. "Yes, thank you. I'll have the virus delivered to the Yakuza's dock that you rented to load up the submarine."  
Alex stumbled on her way out, and fell flat on her face. Bei winced, and moved to help her up until she saw the way her boss was trembling and turning red.  
"Oh, and watch your footing. The floors around here can be a little slick." Yoshi spoke with that same infuriating grin on his face, and chuckled.  
'One day, mark my words, I won't need him any more, and then BLAM! Right in the forehead! Or maybe in the leg, so I can watch him bleed to death and suffer...' Alexandra's angry flush gradually faded as she fell into insane giggles, and Bei decided to walk further behind her.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So we have confirmation sir. The Russians haven't pulled out, but we now know what they're after." Mia finished her report and stood at attention, and John started pacing.  
"Six top-grade Typhoons, all to try and kill one man before he reached the shore? I find that rather hard to believe." John Remerick frowned as he stared once again at the map displaying the Japanese coastline.  
Mia shrugged. "Well, that's all the explanation they're giving us. They said that they wanted to make sure they destroyed the transport he escaped on before he got into Japan. They did manage to destroy the transport, but they're not sure that Yuchtzky was on it. They were trying to get in and out quickly."  
John nodded. "It makes SOME sense, I guess. And at least it'll keep the Admiral from sinking anything. Do we have absolute confirmation that none of the Typhoons are packing ballistics?"  
Mia nodded. "I was aboard each inspection team personally. All the submarines are harmless to anything that's not in the water."  
"Even so..." John muttered. "Well, what about the security on the platforms?"  
Mia smiled. "Airtight, general. A boat or diver can't even come close to the platform without being detected and alerting the whole guard unit."  
John nodded. "Excellent. If anybody can keep those things safe, it's Core." John grimaced. "So, on to the next order of business."  
Mia smiled and shook her head. The business he was referring to was the latest report on the DAPC's activities. Remerick demanded reports on them because, as he put it, 'we need to know what kind of damage they're causing, so that we can clean up their messes'. Personally, Mia didn't see what all the fuss was about. Sure, there was an unnatural measure of collateral damage in almost every one of their operation sites, but they got the job done, more often than not. She suspected it was because of their recent successes dealing with the Freedom's Angels, who were under Remerick's jurisdiction.  
"The DA's latest bout of terrifying destruction created the incident just last week, in the sewers."  
John hung his head as he dropped down into his chair. "It figures. It really figures. Mark my words, one of these days they'll get themselves killed. And if they're not careful, someone else too. Casualties?"  
"Captain Takami reported that all missing civilians were killed before the DA's intervention, though she didn't say anything more on the matter. She also reported that there was a mutant infestation in the area that necessitated the use of heavy explosives."  
John frowned. There had been a recent string of mutant attacks, and it all left him uneasy. "No other casualties?"  
"Well... there was something else, but I didn't get much on it. Apparently one of the officers left the main subway tunnel and starting fighting someone else. Both were caught in the gas main explosion."  
John nodded somberly. "So they did lose somebody."  
"No sir. Apparently he survived. They're not certain about his opponent, but I've seen the damage inflicted, So I doubt it."  
"Oh. Well... that's good. And what about that explosion that took out the other subway on the edge of town? Unrelated?"  
Mia sweatdropped. "Not exactly. Captain Takami firmly blamed her second lieutenant for that."  
John massaged his forehead. "Those idiots... have a sweeper team set up and comb the area around the collapsed sections. And get a small military guard for the construction crews. We have enough problems without fighting off monsters from the sewers."  
"Yes sir. And the Russians?"  
John waved it off. "Leave them alone. Let them search all they want, and don't get in their way. If they want assistance from any of my teams, give it to them."  
"Absolutely sir. Anything else?"  
John smiled. "Actually, yes. Intel just recently uncovered the location of a small FA weapons cache stashed away here, next to the train station. I want to organize a strike..."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Getting into position, the soldiers all crouched together in the alleyway, staring hard at the large railway house before them.  
"All right, snipers, get on top and give us cover, the rest of you prepare to bust through on my signal. All right? Move in three! Two! O-"  
*Screech!* The soldiers all turned at the noise, to see a police car swing into the alley, then accelerate through.  
"What the hell?!" The men all jumped to the side, allowing the car just enough room to pass by without hitting anything but a few stray garbage cans.  
*Rrrrrk!* The car spun 45 degrees in a controlled skid, ending with the car parallel to the wall of the target building.  
The commander blinked as he looked at the side of the car. "Department of Abnormal Phenomenae... oh, HELL no..."  
Snake popped out of the back sunroof on the car, pulled out a rocket launcher, and aimed it at the wall of the railway house. "Fire in the hole!!" *Vooosh* *Kablam!!*  
The army personnel all covered their ears as the explosion rang out. The dust cleared, and the military commander stood up.  
"What the hell is going on here?! What do you think you're doing?!"  
Snake pulled off another shot that detonated deep within the building. He grinned. "I like to call it 'taking out the trash'."  
The commander glared at him. "Evacuate the area immediately! This is a military target, and therefore a military operation!"  
The doors opened, and Tycho, Kyle, and Ranma all stepped out. Kyle waved at the commander in apology. "Sorry, but we've got dibs!" Kyle took a Pancor Jackhammer from beneath the seat cushion as Ranma and Tycho armed themselves with a rail gun and pulse rifle, respectively. Snake merely ducked back inside and reloaded his rocket launcher before stepping out.  
They entered the building, and gunfire immediately rang out, followed by an explosion that flashed light through the hole in the wall.  
The soldiers simply stared at it from their position in the alleyway, stunned.  
"......... Dibs?"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
{"Yeah, they're sure now. Yuchtzky's not here. Neither are more than two of the traitors he escaped the homeland with, or any of the tanks he stole!"} The Russian soldier spat onto the ground, growling. {"I swear, this man is impossible to catch! It's like he knows what we're going to do before we do!"}  
His companion idly nodded as he watched the crews go in and out of the nuclear submarine docked next to the pier. {"It is troubling. But why do you think he fled here? I heard he had three divisions in the Ukraine offering him protection."}  
{"Bah. Who knows?"} The soldier shook his head, and looked out over the pier. {"I can't see how these people live here. All the women are short and flat-chested."}  
The other man chuckled. {"And you would know, being cooped up underwater for the last week, eh?"}  
The first man snorted, but smiled.  
*Toom!!* The short, sharp sound of a sniper rifle being fired cut through the air, only moments after blood sprayed from the second dock guard's shoulder.  
The man screamed, and his companion reacted immediately, grabbing him around the waist and then moving him behind the nearest piece of cover, which was between two storage warehouses.  
{"Quickly! Get down on the ground! Don't move!"} The wounded man nodded, clenching his teeth to avoid crying out.  
The other soldier was about to call for help, when the *clink* of metal impacting concrete came from behind him. He twirled around, his rifle at the ready, only to find a grenade rolling on the ground toward him.  
He blinked. {"What the hell? The pin is still in there!"}  
{"Hey! You! Over here!"} The soldier turned to look at who was speaking his native language, and smiled in relief as he saw a tall figure in a long coat.  
Dropping his rifle, he waved over to the fellow soldier. {"Over here, he's woun-"} The man was cut off as the newcomer raised his rifle and fired.  
Three bursts later, both soldiers were dead on the ground.  
Three Russian soldiers, placed under Alexandra Tokima's command by Igov, rushed into the alleyway.  
One looked at the dormant grenade and shook his head as several Japanese terrorists rushed past, yelling at each other and firing on the men around the submarine. {"I swear, these Japanese are idiots. What does Yuchtzky want with them?"}  
One of the Freedom's Angels rushed into the alleyway and snatched up his grenade irritably before rushing off again.  
{"Who knows. But this is still better than guarding old ammo dumps. The food is much better here, too."}  
The first soldier grinned. {"Eh, after a year serving in Mother Russia, anything but stale bread and soup tastes like ambrosia!"} The soldiers shared a laugh until someone cleared their throat behind them.  
Bei stared neutrally at the group of armed men as several other Russian soldiers passed behind her. {"You now to submarine! Hurry! Instructions yours!"}  
The men took a moment to put together her broken Russian, then moved toward the submarine.  
{"Well, at least she got the noun right this time. I had a hard time trying to arm my sock."} The others grinned.  
{"Enjoy it while you can, comrade. She's the only one of these monkeys that understands more than 'nyet'. I can't understand a single syllable of that twisted gibberish they call a language."} He smiled widely. {"And she's the most beautiful girl I have seen in two years."}  
One man snorted. {"Don't get too close. I've heard all kinds of things about these Japanese. If a woman's husband does something she does not like, I've heard she makes him stab himself in the bowels!"}  
Another one laughed. {"Really? Well then, it seems they are much more patient and forgiving than Russian women!"}  
Bei resisted the urge to walk over to them and kick them into the submarine personally. She supposed they either assumed that she didn't know enough Russian to understand them, or that she just wouldn't care. Either way they were idiots.  
The Russian needed to pilot the sub climbed inside, and the huge black mass slowly sank into the water. She walked over to where the remaining sailors were being held; all the soldiers had resisted, and were therefore already dead.  
She looked over the captured men imperiously, as they sat around staring, terrified, with their hands over their heads.  
{"You men guilty... work as... er, for government... if... uh... when..."} Bei frowned, trying to collect her thoughts, her dramatic speech ruined. "Ah, screw it. Kill them."  
The terrorists raised their rifles and started firing into the block of prisoners. Many of the sailors jumped up and dived toward their attackers, doubtlessly thinking they might as well make an attempt to fight if they were going to die anyway. They were cut down by bullets, their attempts in vain.  
Bei turned away from the bloodshed, and started to walk toward her car. "Make sure they're all dead, then hide the bodies in the warehouse two blocks from here. We don't want any evidence that the sub left here under somebody else's ownership." Another man nodded, and several other men ran by with a large tarpaulin to haul the dead.  
  
Bei exited her car at the Yakuza's dock. It was a private dock, protected by a huge reinforced bunker of sorts that opened up toward the sea. It was made to house anything as big as oil tankers, so the submarine was hardly a tight fit. Entering, she saw that the sub was already in place, and that the Freedom's Angels were already entering the ship.  
She shuddered involuntarily as she caught sight of the tank of thick, green goo being unloaded off of a pickup truck. She wasn't the only one who felt uneasy, apparently, as the men holding it were trying to face away and breathe as little as possible, while still be as careful with it as humanly possible. Both were unnecessary, of course. The tank was totally air-tight, and this particular virus couldn't be transmitted through the air anyway. On top of that, the container was reinforced well enough to withstand most jostling, short of an explosion of some type.  
Still, they darted away as soon as they handed the container to two of the Russian soldiers.  
{"What are they so afraid of? They act like this stuff will burst into flames."} The man looked at the tank critically, then shook his head as he took one end and hauled it to the loading dock.  
The man on the other end rolled his eyes. {"I heard it's some sort of virus. The cowards are afraid of a little cold."} He chuckled and knocked on the glass for emphasis, an action which caused several of the Japanese men (those who had heard of the T-virus) to lock up and step away. The Russians laughed at the sight, and took the container into the sub.  
Bei released a shaky breath, and cursed herself for reacting like that. Though she had to smile slightly at the Russians' actions; their ease came from their ignorance, not from being brave or level-headed. She wondered what they would say if they had seen the same things she had.  
"I... m-my throat feels scratchy!" One of the Japanese loaders started coughing, and the others looked at each other before tearing off their gloves and throwing them to the ground.  
Shaking her head, Bei walked up to the man who was looking around fearfully, and grabbed his chin to look him in the eyes. "You're fine. If you had caught the virus, your eyes would be cloudy." She really had no idea if that was true or not, but she was sure that he hadn't contracted the virus. And it shut him up.  
Bei turned toward the Japanese commander. The Russians were professional soldiers; they had been given their orders and they would not forget them. Besides, she didn't feel like taking another tumble through her Russian vocabulary. "All right, there is only one more item to load, and you are on your way! Remember your mission! Take the platform, load the virus, then leave! Surprise and speed is the key! The future of our country, the freedom of our people, rests on your shoulders! Go!" The Freedom's Angels let out a spontaneous cheer, and hefted their guns as they rushed into the submarine. The Russians merely looked around and shrugged at their new companions' enthusiasm.  
Bei left the dock, and smiled as she saw the next truck, this one a moving van, pull up to the loading bay. Then, without another word or gesture, she climbed into her car and drove off.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Kyle hit the ground as a stitch of automatic fire cut a line above him, and switched his shotgun onto burst mode as he opened fire in the general direction of his attackers.  
*Ko-Ko-Ko-Ko-Koom!!* Multiple bursts blasted the far wall, and Kyle could see two shapes slowly slide to the ground through the shadows.  
"Hit the deck!!" Snake screamed, and braced himself against an overturned table as another terrorist poked his head and gun out from behind a wall to spray the room with bullets.  
Kyle was too close to get away in time, and was thus surprised when he was jolted to the side and found himself slammed into the opposite wall, safe from the gunner.  
Ranma growled as he put Kyle down and fired into the wall that the enemy was using as cover. The rails easily tore through the thick wood and aluminum bracing, but it was impossible to tell where his target was. Tycho sat next to him, reloading his rifle.  
Snake suddenly called out from behind his table. "Hey Ranma! Is that an ordinance room?"  
Ranma blinked, then fired on the door between the room they were in and the room that protected the terrorist, blowing off both hinges. As the splintered barrier fell to the floor, Ranma could clearly see belts of ammo and a few rockets and explosives scattered about. He ducked back once the man on the other side revealed himself, again firing his AK-47.  
"Yeah! Looks like it!"  
Snake grinned in a very disturbing way. "Excellent." He waited for the latest bursts of fire to cease, then stood up and hefted his rocket launcher. "Everybody loves bar-be-que," he sang, then released the trigger.  
*KAABOOOOOM!!!* The explosion wasn't as impressive as Ranma had feared, but it still shot a huge burst of flame into the room, lightly toasting everything in it, including its only occupants.  
The smoke cleared, and Tycho coughed up some smoke. "Nice going, Rambo." He muttered.  
Snake coughed lightly into his fist, then grinned as he leaned his launcher over his shoulder. "What? I always liked 'em well done."  
Ranma shook his head, while Kyle merely dusted himself off. "Thanks for the save back there, Saotome. Nice work guys!" He stopped, then appeared to think of something. "Hey! This is the first time in three weeks we've completed a mission without destroying a civilian structure!"  
Ranma looked around at the various holes that now adorned the railway house. "I guess that means that this doesn't count as a civilian structure?"  
"No, not really." Kyle started to followed Snake outside. "Wattai, you look around and take note of what weapons are left. Make a list."  
Ranma followed Kyle out. "What are you going to do with it all?"  
"Police auction." He answered simply.  
Ranma stared incredulously. "You're going to auction off automatic weapons?"  
Kyle blinked, then slapped himself in the head. "Oh! Right! No guns, huh? Well... I dunno... Snake, you want 'em?"  
"Always!"  
Ranma facefaulted.  
"All right scumbag, you're coming with us! Get down! Did you hear me? I said GET DOWN!!!" The DA officers all turned at the noise, and after Ranma got up, decided to investigate.  
When they reached the room of the rail house where the noise was coming from, they found the soldiers from before, jabbing their rifles at a tattooed man in his thirties who was on his knees and not looking too happy about it.  
Snake crossed his arms over his chest. "And what do we have here? A survivor, eh?"  
The soldier turned to look at the police officers almost dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, you're finished here. We'll take care of this guy."  
"Oh no you don't!" The man on the ground struggled to his feet, despite the many automatic weapons aimed at him. "I'm a Japanese citizen! I know my rights! I wish to be tried in a court of law like any other criminal!"  
The military commander snorted. "Oh, so now the little Angel wants to hide behind the system, eh? Fine. This was a total waste of time." The commander grabbed up his weapons and walked out, followed by the rest of his generally disgruntled company.  
  
The terrorist smirked as Ranma came up behind him and slipped on a pair of handcuffs. Anything, even the toughest court in Japan, was better than facing a military tribunal.  
Snake looked around at the room they were in. A corner of the room was reinforced with metal plates, and had several large cords and plugs strewn about. along with a lot of general scrap metal and tools laid around the floor. It looked like something fairly big had been stationed here, though he wasn't sure what.  
"All right little boy, we've got five FAs here, not including you. For a major munitions house, that seems pretty light to me. Why don't you tell me where all your little friends are?"  
The terrorist turned away pointedly, still being held by Ranma. "I also have the right to remain silent."  
Snake raised an eyebrow, then gestured to Ranma. "Saotome, bring him down, would you?" The prisoner blinked.  
*Thock!* Ranma hit the man hard in the back with his knee, then twisted the gunman's torso as he forced him to the ground, creating an excessively painful position for the poor fool, who screamed out in pain and surprise.  
Snake smiled warmly and kneeled down to look their prisoner in the eyes. "Now, I'll ask again nicely. Where are all your men? If you don't answer, I might get angry. You won't like me when I'm angry..." Snake giggled almost girlishly, wringing his hands.  
The already frantic prisoner became even more frantic as he saw the look of unease that crossed Kyle's face at Snake's act (which Kyle knew not to be an act). "H-Hey! Yo-Yo-You c-can't do this! It-It's against the l-law!"  
Ranma snorted. "Since when do you morons care about the law?"  
Snake seemed to consider this for a moment. "Against the law, huh?" He then turned to Kyle. "Commander, tell me, what exactly are the laws regarding interrogation of prisoners?"  
Kyle stared back blankly. "You mean they really have rules for this sort of thing? I thought he was making that up."  
Snake turned back to the prisoner. "He's my superior officer." The terrorist whimpered.  
"Now, I'm going to ask you just one more time..." Snake removed his sidearm, and started stroking it almost lovingly.  
"All right! All right! I'll talk!! Just... just get me away from this maniac!" The prisoner tried to crawl behind Ranma, who nearly stumbled at the man's sudden squirming.  
Snake snorted and put away his pistol. "Wuss. I haven't even shot him in the leg yet."  
Ranma pulled the terrorist up by his collar and glared into his eyes. "All right, so tell us!"  
"They're all on the sub! The Russian one!"  
The DA officers blinked collectively. "Sub? What Russian sub?" Snake asked, getting his sidearm back out. "If you're making stuff up..."  
The terrorist shook his head fiercely, pure terror in his eyes. "No! I'm serious! Our guys all armed themselves and captured the Russian Typhoon that was down by the harbor checking out that wreck of a transport! They're going to use it to launch a surprise attack on the oil platform!"  
Kyle frowned. "Yeah, I heard about that whole thing with the submarines... go on."  
"And-And then they're going to use the platform's power turbines to spread the T-virus into the harbor! That's all I know! I swear!"  
"Well, that doesn't sound too good," Ranma muttered.  
Snake nodded. "No, that doesn't sound good at all... Let's move! The captain needs to know about this!"  
  
The terrorist soon found himself being tossed into one of the DAPC's armored cars, and then crushed uncomfortably between Ranma and Snake's empty rocket launcher.  
"Hey Wattai! Move it! We need some serious speed here!"  
When Ranma saw the look on Tycho's face when he emerged from the weapons dump, he wanted to cry.  
"Sure thing! Where to?" He stepped into the car and flexed his fingers experimentally.  
"Back to HQ! As fast as you can possibly go!" Snake paused to think about that statement. "Without getting us killed."  
"Aw, you're no fun!" Tycho joked. Or at least, Ranma hoped he was joking.  
*Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!* *Screeech!!*  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Uh huh. Really. Now why did you do that? Let the military handle it!" Asuka shouted into the phone, exasperated. "Dibs? What are you, five?"  
Asuka listened for a moment more, then frowned. "Wait, they're taking a sub? ............ They're WHAT?!" She listened intently, then frowned. "What's the 'T-virus'? ...... Well of course you don't know, Kyle. It was a rhetorical question! No! Rhetorical! That's not what it... oh, forget it!" She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Okay guys, you've done a good job. I'll contact the right people. You just come home. Hello? What was that noise? A train? A SUBWAY train?! What are you doing in the...... no, on second thought, I don't want to know. Goodbye." Asuka hung up the phone, then scratched her chin in thought.  
Then she picked up the phone again and dialed.  
"Hello? I need to report something to General Remerick. I think this will be of considerable interest to him. Asuka Takami." She gave her name, and after a moment she grimaced. "DAPC, yes. No! Wait! Don't hang up! This is important! We have reason to believe that terrorists have captured a Russian submarine and are using it to transport troops to one of the oil drilling platforms off the coast. Yes! Really! We captured one of their men! No, I can't confirm it! Look, we think they might be trying to inject a biochemical agent into Tokyo harbor using the platform somehow. What do you mean you can't interfere with the Russians?! It's the Freedom's Angels in the sub, not the Russians! The Russians are probably all dead! No, I don't know how a bunch of Japanese militants are planning on running a Typhoon!"  
Asuka flushed red with anger, and twitched slightly. "Well, fine! If you won't do anything, we'll just go ourselves! No?! What's stopping us?!"  
Sakura had, up until this point, been quietly observing Asuka yelling at the receiver, but her curiosity was piqued to the point that she walked up and hit the speaker phone button on the phone cradle.  
*-have strict orders from General Remerick himself to keep all DAPC officers and operations far away from the platforms, to eliminate the chance of them becoming yet another 'collateral damage' write-off. We'll contact the Russians and check this out. You girls just sit tight, okay?* *Click*  
Sakura winced. 'He's going to regret that last comment.'  
Asuka stood there furiously for a moment, her teeth clenched. *Crack!* The phone receiver shattered into plastic shards in her grip, and Sakura yelped and jumped back.  
Asuka blinked as her stress seemed to melt away into the broken phone. "Wow. That was actually quite theraputic." Sakura whimpered.  
  
The screech of car tires alerted Asuka to the rest of the team's arrival, and she dusted off the phone fragments into the trash can as Ranma and the others entered.  
"No!! Please!! No more!! I wanna go with the soldiers!! Let the military take me, please!!" The man was pale and crying like a little girl who had been threatened with a knife. Or like an adult human who had experienced Snake's law enforcement and Tycho's driving when he wasn't used to it.  
"What's his problem?" Asuka asked. She could easily guess, but she needed to make sure.  
"This is the prisoner," Kyle said, turning the weeping terrorist slightly so that she could see the cobra tattoo.  
Asuka started to nod, then stopped. "Why'd you bring him here?"  
Kyle blinked. "To put him in jail."  
"We don't HAVE a jail," Asuka deadpanned. "Take him to one of the police stations on the east side, they should-"  
"No, there's no time!" Ranma yelled. "Those guys are gonna do some serious damage if we don't stop them!" He frowned, then shoved the terrorist toward Tycho. "Take him upstairs and put him in a cage or something." The man started crying anew, and Tycho muttered to himself as he dragged the prisoner to the stairs.  
Asuka frowned. "Well, I agree we have to do something, but what?"  
"Well, what sort of support can we expect?" Snake asked.  
"We can expect any available Japanese police or military units to point guns in our faces and tell us to stay away from the platforms being attacked." Asuka stated flatly.  
"Wow... that's not very helpful." Kyle speculated.  
Snake mulled it over. "Eh, I can work with that. The big problem is the sub. They've got a fully operational Typhoon, luckily without any ballistic missiles. We don't have any real way of destroying or disabling it. Even if we manage to sweep the platform, they can still destroy it from the water."  
The five officers frowned collectively, each delving deep into thought.  
Finally, much to everyone's exasperation, Kyle spoke up. "What if we got a sub?"  
Asuka rolled her eyes. Leave it to Kyle to think of something so dumb. "Our own forces want us as far away from the platforms as possible, remember? You think the Navy will help us?"  
Kyle remained thoughtful. "Not one of ours. What if we got another Typhoon? There are five others in the harbor, right?"  
Everyone turned to stare at him.  
"That... that actually sounds like it could work..." Snake was amazed.  
"Kyle, are you feeling okay?" Asuka pressed a hand to her second's forehead in worry, trying to detect a fever.  
"You guys..." he whined.  
"I don't know... how are we going to get ahold of a Russian warship?" Ranma was skeptical, and getting frustrated. He was used to knowing who his opponent was, with the goal being to simply defeat him or her, or in recent cases, it. This battlefield tactics stuff just wasn't his shtick.  
Snake grinned. "Leave that to me. I've got a plan. Captain, gather the troops and meet me at Shio's Boat Rentals at the edge of Tokyo Harbor." He hefted a box, which was marked with several warnings indicating high explosives. "It's time to go fishing."  
  
Suppressing a shudder, Asuka ordered the others into the cars and then left for the hall in search of the remaining two officers.  
"Chikiko! Yamazaki! Where are..." She trailed off as she heard some thumping noises just past the armory, and rushed into the room right past it, not bothering to first look through the partially closed blinds that mostly hid the interior.  
"All right guys, we need to-" Asuka froze suddenly and her eyes bulged out. "Wha..."  
Tiro poked his head up from his position on the desk and under Junko. "Hey! Can we get a little privacy here?!"  
Asuka stared, gaping. "Buh... how... whe... er..." Then, giving up, she turned around and exited the room, closing the door firmly behind her.  
Once outside the room, she started to recover from the sight she had just seen and collect her thoughts.  
One such thought snapped into place, and she froze.  
"Wait a minute! That's my office!" Growling, she yanked the door open and stomped inside.  
After a bit of yelling and crashing, Tiro flew outside and rolled to a stop next to the armory. Junko merely landed on her rear right outside of the room, only to be hit in the face a second later by her shirt.  
Asuka stalked out of her office and glared at them. "You two stay OUT of my office! And if you absolutely HAVE to partake in this sort of behavior, keep it outside of headquarters! Or at least keep it to Wednesdays and Fridays!!"  
She took a deep breath, and then turned to Junko. "And YOU!! I knew you were loose, but come on! TIRO?!?!"  
"Hey! I'm right here, you know!" He whined, trying to get up and readjust his pants at the same time. The two women ignored him.  
Junko looked annoyed. "He's not THAT bad. Actually, he's better than average in the sack. He doesn't look like much, I know, but he gives as good as he gets."  
Tiro blinked, trying to decide exactly where that placed on the insult/compliment scale. Asuka simply grimaced and covered her ears with her hands.  
"I'm not hearing this! I'm not hearing this!" She sang, then took a deep breath and crossed her arms, looking at the two (now fully clothed) officers as if the last two minutes hadn't even happened. "Get some body armor on and get in a squad car. We have a job to do. Lieutenant Tekai will brief you on the way, so chances are you'll have no idea what's going on. I recommend following our lead." With her current task complete, Asuka turned and headed for the garage, leaving the two DA officers to gather the shattered remains of their dignity (what little there was to begin with) and follow.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Sir, we're reading an emergency distress call!"  
The commander in charge of security at the oil drilling platforms frowned beneath the heavy mask, and stepped over to the communications booth, his heavy armored boots ringing against the steel floors.  
The man stationed in the booth shuddered. He understood the need for security, and he was glad for the protection, but these Core fellows looked creepy! In their fully-body armor complete with filter mask, which had the glowing red goggles to allow vision in little or no light, they looked more like robots than men.  
The commander finally stopped just inside the communications booth.  
"What's going on?" The voice was heavily distorted by the mask, but it was still easy enough to understand him.  
"One of the Russian subs that have been posted in the harbor is coming at us full speed sir. We also have a transmission indicating that somebody aboard is wounded. I think they need assistance and we were the closest place to get help, but I can't be sure. I don't understand Russian very well..." He turned and suppressed another shudder as the blood-red goggles stared back at him. "Shall I tell them to turn around and find someplace else?"  
"... No. We have orders to assist them if at all needed. Get some of your workers down near the port, along with a few of my men. Get the first aid station ready, too." Without another word, the commander turned and walked heavily out of the booth.  
  
The massive black shape slowed into position along the huge metal bays alongside the platform, intended for oil tankers, and then seemed to burst upward, roughly breaking the surface of the water.  
One of the Core units noticed with some confusion that there was a large object attached to the rear of the submarine and covered with a thick blue plastic sheet that was firmly bolted to the main body of the vessel.  
The hatch opened, and a Russian man came out, pulling his AK-47 behind him.  
As another started coming up, the first looked up and regarded the men waiting at the dock. {"Hey! Could you give us a hand with our injured man, here?"}  
The men on the steel dock stared back at him blankly, though it would have been impossible indeed to tell how the Core men were looking at him.  
{"I don't suppose you worthless apes know a word of Russian, eh? You, in the armor, are you so ugly you have to wear a mask on the job?"} His four companions who had already scrambled out of the sub laughed.  
"What did he say, do you think?" One of the rig workers asked.  
The mass of armor shrugged. "Don't know. They're probably happy that they managed to reach a safe port in time."  
That happy little misconception died a painful death as another man, this one clearly Japanese, burst out of the submarine with a bazooka resting on his shoulder.  
*Shoom* *Kaboom!!* Two of the workers and one of the soldiers were lost as the shell hit, and exploded fiercely, sending whatever may have survived the initial blast into the water.  
By then the Russian soldiers had already aimed their weapons, and stitched the pier with automatic fire, immediately cutting down the remaining rig workers. To their surprise, however, the bullets tore into the remaining two armored Core soldiers with little ill effect, and they in turn brought their own heavy machine guns to bear.  
*Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta!* Three of the Russian defectors were cut down, the last two managing to hide behind the sub's control tower.  
{"Damn it! They've got some sort of armor! We can't hurt them!"} He tried regardless, moving aside to fire another burst into the defenders, only to duck back behind the tower, shaking his head.  
  
In the sub, the Freedom's Angels listened to the sounds of gunfire being traded, unsure if it was time to head up.  
"Well? Is it safe?"  
The man who had fired the bazooka and ducked back inside frowned. "How should I know? They're yelling something, but it all sounds like gibberish to me."  
"Well, then go up there and look!"  
The man rolled his eyes, then moved up the ladder once again, unlatching the main hatch and pulling himself up.  
Before he had gotten all the way out, his body shuddered repeatedly, and fell back down into the sub, blood pouring from several large bullet holes.  
One of the terrorists raised an eyebrow, then lit the cigarette in his hand. "I think it's a fair bet it isn't quite 'safe' yet."  
The surrounding men frowned deeply. Finally, one turned to the others. "Launch the machine."  
"Already? Are you sure-"  
"Yes! Unless you are volunteering to go up there and remove the defenders yourselves!"  
  
The Japanese soldiers stopped firing to reload their weapons, pulling heavy belts of bullets from the boxes attached to their belts and feeding them into their guns.  
One of the Russians who had survived the retaliation renewed his assault, and one of the soldier stumbled back and grunted as automatic fire peppered his torso. The protect-gear completely prevented the bullet from ever touching the skin behind it, and served to mostly blunt the impact, but getting blasted by an automatic rifle was still a punishing experience.  
The soldier finished reloading his machine gun, and was about to open fire once again on the submarine tower, when a loud grinding noise came from the oddly covered hump on the rear of the sub.  
The sheet was torn off from within, and the soldiers' eyes widened from behind their masks.  
*UNIT 475 ACTIVATED. LOADING OPERATION PARAMETERS... UPLOAD COMPLETE. TARGETS LOCATED. TERMINATING."  
A triple-barrelled 45 mm. gatling cannon took aim. The protect-gear never stood a chance.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma helped Snake unload the back of the car, making sure to be careful with everything he picked up; with Snake's equipment, only he knew whether it would explode or not, and under what conditions.  
He stacked four pulse rifles onto a small crate, and lifted it all over to where Asuka appeared to be arguing with Shio, the owner of the boat rental establishment. The others were waiting as well along the pier that held the multiple watercraft, so he stopped and listened to what the Captain was complaining about.  
"We HAVE to have access to these boats! I don't care if it's your day off or something!"  
The heavy-set man shook his head slowly. "Sorry ma'am, but there's a strict curfew in force, apparently because of those fool Russians snoopin' around the place. I'm not allowed to rent out any boats or allow any boats to leave until they do."  
Asuka growled several choice curses under her breath, and fished around in her pocket before pulling out her badge and practically shoving it into the man's face. "As a police officer, I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate these vehicles then, as I am permitted to do in case of an emergency!"  
The man stared at it for a moment, then scratched his chin. "Well... I suppose if it's an emergen-wait a minute! DAPC? Now, I have special orders from the fellas that told me about the curfew that I'm not, under any circumstances-" Asuka cut off the man's slow ramblings by pushing him into the water.  
She turned to Ranma and Snake. "Get the boats loaded up. Those two, over there. Tekai, get the keys from the booth. Chikiko, Shio's getting out of the water, push him back in please." *Splash* "All right. Snake, Kyle, Ranma and Tiro will go on the second boat. You're the strike team, and you'll be responsible for securing the platform. Sakura, Junko, and Tycho are with me. We'll take the sub and try and get the captain to help. All right? Let's go!"  
  
Ranma dropped the crate into the rear of the small speedboat, and jumped in the front right before Kyle turned it on, taking the boat into a slow cruise.  
They were soon completely overtaken by a wave of water as the second speedboat rushed past.  
"WATTAI!!! SLOW DOOOOOOOOOooooooowwwwn..." Asuka's yell faded away along with her image as the watercraft blasted through the water into the harbor.  
Kyle pushed his dripping wet hair from his eyes so that he could clearly see where he was going. "Did you know that Tycho's been cited more times and been given more tickets than most street racers?"  
Ranma shook the water from himself, and started squeezing out his pigtail. "I'll bet."  
"No, I mean put together." The others stared. Kyle could only shrug. "I got bored, so I looked through the personnel files." He turned to Ranma. "I read your book too. Is it true you're engaged to the future ruler of the Earth, Queen Serendipity or something?"  
The others turned to stare at Ranma, who sweatdropped.  
"Look, just drive, all right? And speed up a little, we'll never catch them at this rate."  
  
Tiro did slow down eventually, and started to cruise along at a more reasonable pace as they reached the center of the harbor.  
"Oh... I think I'm gonna be sick..." Junko groaned and leaned onto Sakura for support, who was still clutching the chair in terror.  
Asuka forced herself to let go of her own handhold, then leaned over to stare into the water. "Okay, these guys can't move much or go too deep without getting the entire Japanese Navy up in arms, so we might be able to see them from the surface..." She scanned her side of the boat, not seeing anything in the fairly clear water.  
Junko was about to search her side, when the distant oil drilling platform caught her eye. Or more specifically, the smoke coming from it caught her eye. "I think we'd better hurry..."  
"Hey! There it is!" Sakura leaned over the edge of the boat, pointing to a barely visible silhouette in the depths of the water. Several meters away, right above the ghastly shape, Kyle's boat started to slow down.  
"Right. Good work. Snake, you see it?"  
The man nodded and waved.  
"Good! ...... How are we going to get it to surface?" Asuka frowned, realizing that the DA's weapons expert had never shared his plan with her.  
"Just leave that to me!" Snake grunted, lifting a fair-sized barrel and dumping it into the water.  
Asuka blinked. "What was that?"  
"A depth charge!" Snake shouted back. Everyone's eyes widened.  
*Blooosh!!* Water exploded upwards from the detonation, rocking Kyle's boat wildly.  
"You idiot!" Asuka yelled, trying to keep her balance as the shock wave hit her boat, "Why did you do that?!"  
Snake shrugged. "We needed to get their attention! Don't worry, it was a small one anyway! Good luck!" He tapped Kyle on the shoulder. "All right, we're done here. Head for the platform, commander."  
Kyle nodded and did as he was told, and the speedboat sped away toward the distant structure.  
  
Asuka muttered darkly to herself as she covered her face with her hand. Sakura and Junko merely watched as the Typhoon began to surface, slowly breaking the surface of the water with its mammoth hull.  
The hatch on top of the control tower opened, and a man dressed in the uniform of an officer of the Russian navy poked his head out.  
{"What's going on here?! What is this?!"} He shouted angrily.  
"Oh, bloody hell... do you speak any Japanese!" She shouted back hopefully.  
{"Who are you?! Where did that depth charge come from?!"}  
Junko frowned. /"Hey! Do you understand English?"/  
The man blinked, along with Asuka. /"Yah, I can speak some English! Now, who are you people?"/  
Asuka smiled. "Good work Chikiko!" /"We're part of the Japanese police forces! We are requesting permission to board your vessel and speak to your Captain!"/  
The Russian officer frowned, then ducked back into the submarine. After a few moments, he poked his head back out. /"Yes, the Captain will see you! Move your boat to the side and step up!"/  
Asuka nodded and gestured to Tycho, who brought the boat along the side carefully.  
  
Asuka walk up to the captain, who was looking over a map of Japan's coastline. Turning around, she spoke to her escort, the officer from before. /"Does he speak English?"/  
/"Yes, I do,"/ the man answered, turning to face the police captain. /"Now what is it you want? Our target has already gotten away, one of our accompanying ships is missing, the Japanese government is practically screaming at us to leave, and now little speedboats are dropping explosives on us. I am not happy man."/  
Asuka bit her lip. /"Well, I think I may know what happened to the other submarine..."/  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The Russians idly checked over the Typhoon's control systems as several of the Japanese terrorists re-entered the sub, several of them yelling and arguing.  
{"What is their problem?"} One asked, gesturing with his chin toward one man who was pointing fearfully at the well-secured tank of green goo.  
Another rolled his eyes. {"Who knows? These idiots get excited over nothing, I tell you."}  
  
Over at the other end of the sub, a very different atmosphere dominated.  
"No! I'm not going to carry that thing! Make someone else do it!"  
Another man snorted. "I'll carry it if you open it. I'm not afraid of that thing as long as it's sealed."  
The terrorist in charge growled and took the cigarette from his mouth. "You are cowards! You jump at the chance to enter a firefight, but you run at the thought of carrying a tank of green water?!"  
Another man sneered at him. "Don't speak to us like that! YOU have not volunteered to carry or open it! I have seen the tapes! There are fates worse than death!" Many of the surrounding Angels nodded in agreement.  
"Why don't you get the Russians to do it?" One man asked. Several others nodded at the idea.  
The commander took out his cigarette and ground it in his fist, frustrated. "These idiots can barely understand universal hand signals, much less Japanese! You try getting them to do what you want!"  
  
The Russian soldiers continued listening to the Japanese argue, except for one fellow, who was checking the sonar panels.  
{"Hey! Look at this!"} His companions all turned to look at him.  
{"Yeah? What is it?"} A few men walked over to stare at the display with him.  
{"Well, I barely know how this thing works, you see, but look what happens when I do this!"} He flipped a switch on the control board, and the view quickly changed to show a swiftly moving ellipse coming from the rear of the sub. The advanced sonar computer quickly locked onto the shape, and outlined it in red, while marking it as another submarine.  
{"Oh no... it's another Typhoon..."} Several of the men started to panic behind him, and someone tapped him on the shoulder.  
{"There's a man trying to contact us! Russian! He says he's a captain, and he's demanding to know our status!"}  
Several of the men looked at each other, and the one who had been observing the sonar readouts turned to stare momentarily at the arguing Japanese. {"Let me talk to them."}  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka waited patiently next to the communications board as the captain tried to contact the rogue submarine. The man had been skeptical, but had been willing to at least listen to her, and check if the situation was as she said it was. Sakura and Tycho stood back near the entrance, looking unsure of themselves, while Junko kept drawing the eyes of the numerous sailors and enjoying it way too much.  
{"Yeah, what are you doing? Why are you docked at the Japanese oil rigs? We were warned specifically by the navy NOT to approach them!"}  
*{There... There was an emergency sir! We needed immediate assistance!}*  
The captain frowned. {"Why does the platform appear to be damaged? What's going on there?"}  
*{I... I don't know myself, sir! But one of the men says that it's nothing to worry about!}*  
{"I see... and the search for Yuchtzky? Nothing?"}  
*{Nothing, sir.}*  
The captain nodded. {"I see. We will pull up alongside and offer our assistance."}  
There was a strangled noise at the other end of the radio. *{No! No! That's not necessary! The injured man is being reloaded even as we speak, and... ah... the captain wishes to leave immediately! Yes, we cannot stay here!}*  
Asuka turned momentarily to the larger man, wishing she could understand what they were saying.  
The captain sighed, then shook his head. {"I would like to speak to Captain Ivan immediately."}  
*{That's... That's not possible, sir. The captain is very busy, you see!}*  
{"There IS no Captain Ivan,"} The Russian officer deadpanned. {"That was a test, which you failed. You also do a very poor imitation of a naval officer, traitor."} He flicked off the control board, cutting off the transmission. {"Prepare to fire torpedoes!"}  
Asuka turned toward him. /"Well?"/  
The captain nodded. /"You were right. They will be destroyed within moments."/  
{"Torpedoes armed and ready, Captain!"}  
{"Fire!"}  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The Freedom's Angels had finally managed to bully a few of the less popular men into hauling and dumping the virus, when they suddenly noticed that their Russian allies began panicking and evacuating the submarine.  
"Hey now, what's going on here?!" The commander of the terrorists shouted around his new cigarette.  
One of the soldiers rushed up to him, and started waving his arms about.  
{"Torpedo! Torpedo! There's a torpedo coming! Torpedo!"}  
The tattooed men simply stared back at him blankly.  
The soldier began to get frustrated, and an idea hit him. English was more or less an international secondary language, right? /"English! English you speak?"/  
The terrorist blinked, then smiled slightly. /"Yes, I speak some English. This good! Now we talk! What-"  
/"Coming! Bomb coming! Bomb! No... missile! Missile! Understand missile? Or bullet?"/  
The Japanese man looked confused. /"Bullet and missile different..."/  
The Russian growled. /"Not right word! Water missile!"/  
The commander scratched his head. /"You mean like a torpedo?"/  
/"YES!!! YES!!! Torpedo!!"/ The Russian looked delighted.  
The terrorist shook his head, and then turned to his men. "Okay guys, it looks like a torpedo's heading for us..." He looked about to see looks of shock and surprise blooming on the faces that weren't already shocked and surprised; he wasn't the only one who understood English. "Torpedo... oh, shit."  
*BWOOOOM!!!*  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma, Snake, Kyle and Tiro all watched together as the rear of the submarine exploded violently, throwing those still trying to get off into the water, and bowling over the men on the reinforced metal dock.  
In actuality, there were two torpedoes that were fired, and the second one tore apart the inside of the vessel, causing the entire thing to sink in a huge, wrecked heap.  
  
Snake whistled. "I gotta get me some of those!"  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Later. Let's just get up there first."  
Snake nodded, and fitted the grappling hook into the spring-powered harpoon gun they had brought before shooting it up and lodging it firmly into the grated metal floors of the oil platform.  
Ranma shimmied up first, followed by Kyle.  
Snake turned to Tiro. "Make sure to look after the boat. We might need to get out of here in a hurry. All right?"  
Tiro nodded, and Snake slung a bag over his shoulder before clipping his pulse rifle to his belt and following Kyle up the rope.  
  
Tiro waved to them as they lifted themselves onto the platform one by one, perfectly content to remain as he was, out of the line of fire.  
He idly glanced out at the water, which was rippling badly due to the explosions. Then he blinked. A darkish green cloud seemed to be spreading out through the new currents.  
He looked up, shook his head to clear it, and then looked back down. Now the entirety of the water under him looked faded green.  
"............ Nah," he decided, then leaned back into his seat.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
{"All right! It's a hit! She's sinking!"} The sailors started laughing and cheering at the news, and a few crowded around the sonar station, to watched as the sonar rendered the small pieces of submarine sinking to the bottom of the harbor floor.  
One at a time they all turned to smiled at the captain, only to have those smiles fade as they saw the deep frown on his face.  
{"You cheer,"} he began, his frown deepening, {"you cheer the destruction of one of our own vessels. You cheer, although the original crew of that vessel is dead, captured, or perhaps was being held on that submarine as it was destroyed. The mission lies incomplete, our quarry lost and most likely escaped without a scratch. And because of our delay in acting upon the information that these men and women have brought to our attention, the workers of the platform we seek to save probably lie dead as well."} He sighed, and turned tired eyes upward. {"We have gained nothing with out 'victory'. Why do you celebrate? Because the situation cannot get any worse?"} Every sailor began to look depressed and somber, lowering his eyes to the floor.  
  
Asuka and the others could only watch and feel the atmosphere change, as they couldn't understand a word that the captain had said.  
"Wow... that was... probably very moving," Junko ventured.  
"Yeah, whatever. I don't speak a word of Russian and very little English, so I'm pretty much lost," Tycho muttered.  
Then they started as one of the officers cried out.  
  
{"Captain! There's some sort of... disturbance in the water! Some kind of chemical agent seems to be playing havoc with the water temperature and pressure!"}  
The captain blinked. {"What? A chemical agent?"}  
{"Sir! I'm picking up something odd on sonar! There seems to be... a lot of activity all of a sudden. Like the fish are getting restless, or something."}  
Asuka stared from one sailor to another as they spoke their concerns, then turned to Tycho. "Ever feel like there's something important going on, but you're out of the loop?"  
Sakura, being close enough to see the complex sonar display, blinked as she saw a large object move into view. "Wow! Is that a humpback whale! It's so rare to see those this close to shore!"  
"I have a baaaaad feeling about this," Junko muttered.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Snake moved to the center of the platform, rifle raised and at the ready. Then he blinked as once again, there was nothing to shoot at. Well, sure, there was the dead bodies of a few workers and soldiers, but there wasn't much that could be saved there.  
Ranma passed him as he looked around, and the martial artist grimaced in disgust. Kyle immediately headed toward the central drill, but soon stopped as it became apparent how much heat was blasting out of the large hole that accommodated the drills and pumps.  
Snake took some time to look at one of the dead soldiers, and frowned. That looked like serious armor he was wearing; not the simple, light kevlar vests that the DAPC issued. What looked even more serious was the holes that went straight through to the other side, having punched through the thick metal chestplate and the heavy backpack. That had to be military-grade armor-piercing rounds, and in no small caliber, either. The kind made for putting holes in tanks. He should know; he liked to practice with that type of ordinance in the parking lot.  
"Hey! I think I found our guys!" Ranma pointed down the stairwell leading down to the base of the platform, as he took cover just next to it to avoid being seen from below.  
Snake nodded. "Kyle, you find the turbines yet?"  
"Yes!" He shouted back.  
"Well? Any sign of a the chemical agent?"  
"Not really! Though someone did shoot a hole in the floor!"  
Snake frowned as Kyle joined him and Ranma next to the stairwell. "Well, if it hasn't been dumped already, then they either must still have it at the docks, or... oy..."  
Ranma's eyes widened in realization. "Oops... I hope that stuff isn't too dangerous..."  
Kyle blinked. "What? Where?" The others ignored him.  
Ranma carefully moved over to the railing caging in three sides of the stairwell, then looked down. After a moment, he frowned. "What the hell?"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Tiro was rather enjoying the peace and quiet, and was currently leaning back on the seat of the speedboat, staring at the huge column that allowed hot gases to flow down and crude oil to flow up.  
His peace and quiet was effectively interrupted as there was a loud splashing noise from the side of the boat.  
Tiro grumbled and got up, wondering what was causing all the commotion, and found one of the Russian soldiers gripping the edge of the watercraft's fiberglass hull. He was pale and shaky, and for some reason that Tiro couldn't even began to fathom, his skin was actually cracking in certain places. He also looked scared out of his wits, as he babbled in fast-paced Russian.  
Nonetheless... 'I can't just let the guy drown.' Tiro grudgingly extended his hand out for the soldier to grab.  
The man eagerly reached out for the hand, but he didn't quite make it.  
Tiro's eyes bulged from their sockets as a huge shark suddenly came up from nowhere, clamped down fiercely onto the man's waist, and dragged him under even as he screamed. A cloud of blood mixed with the strange green tint that was beginning to spread fairly thin throughout the water.  
Tiro stood shock-still, his eye twitching occasionally. That shark's teeth looked like they were all jagged and twisted up. It had red eyes. It's skin was cracked and bulging. It looked almost... dead.  
Tiro fell back heavily. "I think I need a drink. Or some sleep. I swear, I'm seeing things." That thought brought forth several memories of fighting off zombies and mutants in sewers, along with another mutant that appeared behind a demolished bank. He banished them. "Yeah. Seeing things."  
*Crunch!* The boat lurched backwards, and Tiro almost fell onto the floor. Getting up and turning toward the back, he could clearly see that the engine mounted on the rear of the boat had been torn off. Looking into the water, he could see a few large shadowy forms, surrounded by several smaller ones, many of them with odd protrusions coming from what seemed to be their heads.  
He stumbled back in surprise as the shark from before suddenly surfaced, its jagged mouth painted red with blood. Tiro stared at it with wide eyes, and it merely sat in the water, staring back.  
Then it slowly turned over onto its back, to reveal that its stomach had been completely carved out of it. Two of the culprits, fish with long, hooked teeth that could once have perceivably been tuna, thrashed and writhed to jump out of the chest cavity as it was suddenly exposed to air.  
  
Tiro twitched. Then he twitched again. Then he leapt for the rope that still hung suspended above him, and climbed up as if there was a fat, nasty gym instructor standing next to him with a bullwhip.  
Halfway up the rope, he looked back down at the boat that he was supposed to be guarding.  
*GOOSH!* *SNAP!!* The giant maw of a humpback whale, complete with an unusual set of bloody teeth, snapped upward, totally encompassing the tiny speedboat and even snapping off some of the rope Tiro was holding onto before falling back below the surface.  
The poor man, still holding onto the gently swinging grappling line, would've fainted, but his own powerful survival instincts recognized that he'd probably fall into the water then.  
With a new love for life and new dislike of sushi, Tiro hurried up the rest of the line.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma, Snake, and Kyle all stared at the mass of Russian and Japanese militants that had gathered onto the docks in one huge, armed, panicked mob. Apparently they were trying to recover their companions who had survived the destruction of the Typhoon, but were having little success now that those that were still in the water seemed to be being pulled under by several sharks and unreasonably large fish. Blood was pooling in the water all around them, and several soldiers had fallen to their knees in shock and terror.  
The terrorists were merely huddled together near the back railing of the long metal pier, unwilling to try to help those who had survived the explosion. Being terrorists, they didn't feel anywhere near the same level of comradery with their peers. Besides, while the Russians still had confusion tampering with their judgement, many of the Angels had a fair understanding of what was going on, and were even now staring at the group of pale, shivering survivors with fear and anticipation. Many of the Russian soldiers were currently debating why they were pale and shaky, as the water here wasn't nearly cold enough to cause hypothermia.  
One Russian managed to make it within arm's reach of the pier, and another reached out and grabbed his shaky hand to lift him to safety. The man in the water screamed out in pain, and just as his would-be rescuer asked what was wrong, a large fish jumped out of the water and clamped onto his arm with hooked fangs, causing him to stumble and fall into the water himself. Within moments, both men were dragged under, and more blood clouded the water.  
By this time the Russians too had back away from the edge of the docks, as the last of the men in the water were yanked under by the shadowy forms now completely obscured by the red-green taint.  
  
Snake shook his head, then moved into the stairwell and aimed his pulse rifle at the mass, which was too traumatized to notice the loud footsteps on the aluminum stairs.  
"All right, drop your weapons! Nobody move!" Snake yelled, and aimed his rifle at the thickest pocket of armed men. Behind him, Kyle and Ranma moved into position, weapons ready.  
Everybody on the pier turned to look at them. The Japanese nodded in an almost trance-like state, and dropped their rifles before raising their arms in surrender. The Russians had no idea what the man in blue armor had said, but they dropped their rifles and raised their arms regardless, their morale broken.  
Snake nodded seriously. "Okay, now you-"  
*GOOSH!* *Rrrnk!* *SNAP!!* The massive, toothed maw of a humpback whale opened up over the pier and clamped down hard, tearing right through the metal with its teeth and swallowing the whole thing before diving back underwater.  
Ranma, Snake, and Kyle all stared, their eyes wide as dinner plates.  
Finally, Kyle shook his head as if to clear it. "Wow. Now THAT was a Kodak moment!"  
The others nodded their heads, not really paying much attention to what he actually said.  
  
The assembled officers all turned and pointed their weapons at the sound of approaching footsteps, only to lower them as Tiro scrambled to a stop, gasping for air.  
"You guys! There's a giant-"  
"A giant mutant whale," Ranma finished for him. "Yeah, we know."  
Tiro blinked. "Oh... well, do you guys know about the giant robot?"  
Snake scratched his head. "No... that would be new."  
Tiro nodded somberly, jabbing a thumb behind him as a huge metal monstrosity lowered itself down onto the metal deck of the platform, using the rocket boosters built into its rear to slow its descent. It was blue and humanoid, with its right arm ending in a triple-barrelled cannon, and its left into a rocket launcher. It also had two heavy cannons mounted on its back that stood straight up, but were hinged to fall into firing position.  
The boomer's head, tiny in comparison to the huge bulbous shoulders, swiveled slightly to shine a red laser sight onto Kyle's chest.  
*TARGET SIGHTED. ELIMINATING.*  
"That CAN'T be good," the lieutenant muttered, and rushed down the stairs, swiftly followed by the rest of his team.  
They swung around onto the maintenance deck of the platform, which was right below the main deck, just as several armor-piercing rounds and explosive rockets tore apart the sturdy aluminum stairs behind them.  
"Well, now what?" Kyle could hear the boomer moving down the stairwell, and the aluminum supports creaked as they tried to support its weight.  
"Well," Ranma started, "We could engage this thing in a long, drawn-out battle using weapons that will barely scratch it, and then just barely overcome it at the last moment with an incredibly lucky, opportunistic shot, or perhaps a brilliant, spur-of-the-moment plan that nearly gets us all killed."  
The others stared at him. "Or?" Tiro asked hopefully.  
"Or," Ranma continued, "we can do the smart thing." He then turned around, and aimed his rifle at the supports that connected the stairwell to the main deck.  
*Tststststststststs!* The aluminum tore and twisted as the bullets cut into it, and very quickly the stairwell no longer found itself capable of supporting the boomers formidable weight. It tumbled toward the waters of the bay, along with the mass of twisted metal scaffolding.  
Kyle was about to cheer and clap Ranma on the back, when the boomer's rocket pack activated, suddenly slowing its descent and completely stopping it just inches from the water.  
"Aw, man!" Tiro whined.  
"Wait for it..." Ranma said quietly.  
*GOOSH!* *SNAP!!* The whale instantly crushed the killer robot in its jaws, and once again dove into the tainted ocean.  
  
The others stared at the sight. Snake shrugged. "Eh, it works, I guess. I would've preferred the long, drawn-out battle, myself."  
"You would," Ranma muttered.  
Kyle looked out into the harbor. "Hey look! The sub's surfaced!" He started to wave to it, when a large, dark shape in the water started moving toward the submarine, slowly picking up speed.  
Ranma gaped. "Oh NO..."  
  
The others could only stare in shocked silence as the mutant humpback broke the surface of the water, opened its great jaws... and was suddenly yanked down into the water so suddenly that the sub was nearly tossed onto its side by the great ripples left in the water.  
  
Kyle scratched the back of his head. "Well... that's... good?"  
"There's always a bigger fish," Snake muttered.  
"What?"  
"There's something ELSE down there, obviously..." Snake trailed off, staring at his companions.  
"Whoa..." Tiro gulped nervously, then his eyes darted over to Snake. "Giant shark."  
"Giant squid."  
"10,000 yen?"  
"Deal."  
It all happened so fast, it left Kyle and Ranma completely confused as Snake and Tiro watched the resting submarine intently...  
And Tiro cursed loudly as several suckered tentacles broke the surface of the water, wrapping around the thick hull of the Russian submarine.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka nearly hit her head on one of the many metal pipes that criss-crossed the interior of the Typhoon as the room shook violently, and did some cursing of her own. She really had no idea how these people moved around without splitting their skulls open.  
{"What's going on! I want a status report!"} The captain secured himself firmly next to a table as the ship continued to shake.  
{"I don't know! Pressure readings are off the scale! We're breaking apart!"}  
Asuka managed to work her way over to the sonar station, where the officer was staring at the display slack-jawed. It was hard for the sonar to work at such close range, but it was still capable enough to render the creature attacking the sub recognizably.  
Asuka's eye twitched. "God dammit... not again..."  
/"What? What is it?!"/ The captain demanded.  
The sub lurched again, and a loud *Clang!* was heard as Tycho slammed his head into a work station. Junko and Sakura were helping each other brace against the periscope tower, and the captain himself nearly collided with the wall.  
Asuka regained her balance, then took a deep breath. /"It's... a giant squid."/  
The man twitched himself. /"A WHAT?"/  
/"It's a giant squid."/ She saw the man's look, and glared at him. /"Hey, what do you want from me? Just a moment ago we were being attacked by a killer humpback whale!"/  
The captain continued staring at the blue-haired woman, when two sailors came rushing into the control room.  
{"Sir! There was a hull breach down in the engine room! You'll never believe this! There was a BEAK! I swear, it just burst through! We already sealed the room!"}  
The captain stared at his men, and fought to keep his footing as another heavy tremor shook the submarine. {"May God help us all..."}  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"There's no way," Tiro muttered as he continued handing bills to Snake. "How did you know?"  
Snake smirked. "Ah, young grasshopper, you have much to learn." He took his money, then started counting it.  
Kyle sighed. "Actually, it's happened before. A few times, really. In fact, ever since the DAPC's startup four years ago, we've ended up having one water-based operation per year. And every year, we end up having to fight off a giant squid."  
Ranma and Tiro stared incredulously.  
Snake smiled again. "Yup. We call it the 'Curse of the Calamari'."  
Ranma blinked. "Calamari... food... shoot!! I totally forgot!! I'm supposed to meet Mizu for dinner today!!"  
Kyle stared at him. "You're thinking about your date at a time like this?"  
"Yes!" Ranma shouted. "I need to talk to her, or she'll think I stood her up! Can I borrow your cell phone?"  
Kyle sighed and fished it from his pocket, and Ranma snatched it away with thanks.  
Meanwhile, Tiro turned to Snake. "So, it's nice that you have some spending cash and all, but shouldn't we do something?"  
Snake's smile grew into a grin. "Oh, I have a few ideas..."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Mizu hummed to herself as she finished applying her makeup and smiled into the mirror. Stepping back, she admired herself in the strapless evening dress she wore. Fire truck red, it seemed to shimmer and really set off her hair. Of course, it also showed off her legs and breasts more than was appropriate for a meeting with a friend, but if she played her cards right then she and Ranma would be firmly breaching the friend/lover threshold that night.  
She flushed faintly just thinking about. All the nights they had spent together, studying for tests. Well, Ranma was studying for the tests mostly, and she had been helping him. He just seemed so helpless and vulnerable then, and yet, could be the strongest and most able man in the world when he needed to be. He had experienced the pain of a break-up, but to a degree far greater than the few failed relationships she had known. He was fun, kind, and above all, trustworthy. He was everything she wanted in a man, and perhaps even more than she had hoped she would ever find.  
*Bring! Bring!* *Click* "Hello? Oh, hello Ranma!" She smiled, and then her smile began to fade as she sensed the panic in his voice.  
"What? What was-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T SHOW?!?!" She shouted into the receiver.  
She growled as she held it back to her ear. "A squid? A giant squid is attacking your boss?" Her voice went flat. "Ranma, do you have ANY idea how hard it was for me to get tonight off? My unit was supposed to be on duty guarding one of those new oil drilling platforms! What? I should be glad that I took the night off anyway? What's that supposed to-no! Don't hang up! Ranma! Don't-" The phone went dead, and she let her arm fall limply, the telephone receiver falling onto the floor of her apartment.  
Then Mizu herself fell onto the bed. "Dammit Ranma, why?! How could you do this to me?!" She stared at the ceiling for a few moments, running possibilities through her head. Eventually, it settled on one top-heavy, overly perky, extraordinarily blonde possibility that she didn't like one bit.  
Getting up, she grabbed her jacket from the coat rack and headed outside.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma sighed and handed Kyle his cell phone back. That hadn't gone well at all, but Mizu would have to understand. Giant monsters simply came before dinner in Ranma's book (actually, it depended on who exactly the giant monster was attacking, but in this case there was no discussion).  
"So, have we got a plan?"  
Snake nodded. "Here it is. This platform works mostly by injecting super-hot gases into the ocean floor, right?"  
"Uh... yes?" Kyle guessed.  
"Right! So if I can get the generators to go overtime, and then destroy the mining tube, the carbines will superheat the surrounding waters, hopefully killing the virus and the mutated sea creatures."  
Ranma rolled that plan over in his head. "Will that work?"  
Snake shrugged. "Probably not."  
Kyle nodded and stood up. "Well, let's do it!"  
The four rushed up one of the access ladders onto the main deck, and Snake quickly found the generator controls and started pushing buttons.  
"Is it getting hotter?" He yelled out of the booth.  
Ranma leaned in closer to the central mining tube that led straight down to the ocean floor. "I don't know! Can't you tell?"  
"I can't make heads or tails of these displays!" Snake frowned, then pushed some levers up. Suddenly, red lights started flashing, and a klaxon blared above him. He smiled. "Sounds about right." He lifted his rifle and blasted the offending objects, then went back outside.  
Ranma backed away from the mining shaft, trying to shield himself from the heat with one arm. "That did it! Now what?"  
Snake walked up to the bag he had discarded earlier, and pulled out several blocks of C4 before tying them together and arming the detonator.  
Before he moved very close to the shaft, he turned to address his fellow officers. "Now remember, I'm a trained professional. Don't EVER try this at home!" Nodding decisively, he tossed the block into the shaft, then walked away.  
*KABLAAAM!!!!* Fire poured out of the shaft, shattering the drill and siphoning tube, along with a few other instruments that were injected down into the large hole. The entire platform shook violently, and everyone except for Ranma was knocked to his feet.  
  
After a moment the shaking stopped, and steam seemed to slowly start rising through the metal grating that made up the main deck's flooring.  
Ranma rushed to the edge of the deck, and looked over.  
The others joined him, and Tiro whistled. "Damn... the ocean's actually boiling..."  
Snake clapped his hands, "Ha ha! It worked!"  
Kyle nodded, and then turned to glance at the power generators, which were shaking violently and sparking. "Something tells me that the guys in charge aren't going to be too happy with what we've done here..."  
Snake snorted. "Eh, screw them. When's the last time they killed a giant, mutated kraken? Huh? 'Cause I've got TWO on my record now!"  
"Speaking of which..." Ranma began, as he watched the steam rise from around the submarine being slowly crushed by the creature's massive tentacles.  
The squid seemed to squirm about for a moment, and then released its prey and slipped underwater.  
"Yes! Success!" Snake stared cheering himself on, and laughed as he walked away from the edge of the platform.  
*SPLOOSH!* A great tentacle seeped up from the water, and slammed firmly onto the floor of the main deck, barely missing Tiro. Several more came up from the steaming waters below, wrapping themselves around supports and towers.  
Snake stared at the huge, torpedo-shaped head of the creature was lifted up into the air. "Well, nuts..." Tiro whimpered, and then ran.  
Kyle and Ranma held their ground together, watching as the twisted image of what was once a squid searched the platform for prey. Its eyes were deep red, and veins seemed to pulse all around the head, which had grown spines at some point in its mutation.  
Its beak stretched out and let loose a feral screech, causing the entire platform to shudder.  
Kyle looked down at his pulse rifle and frowned. "I think I need a bigger gun."  
Ranma sighed, and lowered his rifle. "I think you're right." He frowned, then brightened. "Get Snake and Tiro, and get them inside somewhere! I've got an idea!"  
Kyle blinked. "Is it a good idea?"  
Ranma shrugged. "It's better than Snake's."  
Kyle nodded and ran, just barely missing being crushed by an errant tentacle.  
  
Ranma jumped over one of the slimy whips that was meant for him, and grinned at the gigantic beast before him.  
"All right ugly, time to play follow the leader!" Ranma turned and ran, heading for the shaft in the middle of the platform. The squid screeched and lifted itself fully above the oil rig, and released a few tentacles to crush its opponent.  
Ranma dodged one that smashed into the remains of the drill motor, sweeping it away into the ocean. Waiting until he saw his companions enter the communications booth and close the door, he then jumped over another tentacle strike and started running around the overheating oil shaft.  
This served to confuse the somewhat-dead kraken, as it tried to aim its strikes, but with little success.  
This also served to create a cold spiral outside a single super-hot point. Ranma grinned, then thrust his fist into the sky. "Hiryu shoten ha!"  
*WHOOOOOOSH!!!* A massive whirlwind swirled into existence, and the heat from the water below soon found itself sucked into an ever-widening tornado, along with the steam that was coming off it in clouds.  
The giant squid shrieked in agony as it was pummeled with scalding steam, as well as torn forcefully into the full blast of the tornado. Within moments, it was but a speck in the sky.  
From within the tornado's eye, Ranma was beginning to get worried. His tornadoes didn't usually last this long, nor were they this powerful...  
For a moment his mind flashed back to his fight with Kirin... back there, his attack had taken so much energy from the hot water geyser that he had ended up destroying the entire palace.  
*Gssshzt!* *BOOM!!!* The generators exploded violently, and their remains were instantly sucked into the ever-growing spiral.  
Ranma's train of thought continued. Not only did he have a lot of hot water powering his tornado, but also the shaft...  
"Oh, nuts..." Ranma muttered miserably, as the entire oil platform started groaning from the stress of staying together.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka popped her head out of the hatch of the submarine, and pulled herself out so that the others could follow.  
Junko scrambled out quickly, and wobbled onto the surface deck. "Oh man... no more sea missions for me... I never want to go underwater ever again." She held her stomach and grimaced.  
Asuka watched blankly as the squid thrashed the surface of the oil platform. "Where's Tekai?"  
Junko groaned. "Still down there trying to wrap up Tycho's head." She turned to look at the battle going on at the oil rig, and blinked as a huge tornado formed and swept the squid upward. "Whoa... now there's something you don't see every day."  
Asuka twitched slightly as the tornado continued to build, and the entire platform collapsed in on itself, falling apart just as the tornado died, and sending large metal constructions flying in all directions. "Oh, yes. I'm gonna LOVE explaining this one to the supervisor..."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Mizu fumed as she stalked down the street, causing stray pedestrians to get out of her way quickly, for fear of attracting her attention.  
Sakura. That had to be it. Mizu had managed to get Ranma for the night, so of course that little blonde twit would try to keep Ranma from going by any means necessary.  
'Including blatant seduction,' she thought, her scowl deepening. But would Ranma really fall for it? Mizu wasn't sure. She knew that Ranma would never pick up on subtle hints, and even if Sakura started stripping for him, he'd probably try to run away. But if she really tried to force herself on him, would he stop her? She'd thought so. Maybe she had been wrong?  
Mizu frowned. 'But that's the only explanation! It has to be Sakura! The lie too! I mean, even Ranma's a better liar than that! A giant squid! Who'd be stupid enough to fall for that?!'  
*Whooo* She was almost knocked off her feet as a strong, hot wind suddenly blew into her, and she stumbled a bit before looking around in wonder.  
*WHAM!!!* The wind was followed by a gigantic, rubbery form smashing into the thankfully empty road, crushing a few parked cars before it rolled to a stop in front of a fire station.  
Mizu stared wide-eyed at the dead squid, before deftly turning around and heading back to her apartment.  
'On second thought, maybe I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Just this once.'  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Sea creatures char-broiled: 1, 274  
Enemy war machines scrapped: 2  
Terrorists butchered (including sub explosion): 23  
Rogue soldiers taken out (sub explosion only): 9  
  
And for those of you who were wondering; yes, the Core armored suits are the same ones from Jin-Roh.  
  
End Chapter 8 


	9. The Hotel of Horrors

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon  
  
Disclaimer: Who cares about Ranma? I own Snake! Ha ha ha! That's right, he's mine, and I can make as much money off of him as I want! All bow before the Guru of Gunnery!  
  
Guardian  
Chapter 9  
The Hotel of Horrors  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
"Are you sure about what that guy saw? Sounds like something out of a horror story to me."  
"He swears he saw it. The way he was acting, he had to have seen SOMETHING. And not many animals around here look like he described."  
The first security guard grunted, and moved a branch out of his way as he continued walking through the forest, his partner right behind him.  
"Yeah, well I'm willing to bet he just had too much rum. I can't believe they actually sent us out here to try and track down some stupid fairy tale." The man snorted as he thought over his orders. Supposedly there was some kind of mutant creature that was causing a fuss in Tokyo, and one of the managers that had heard of it freaked out when he heard the hysterical customer's story about a monster in the woods. Now he and his partner were combing the woods surrounding Okinawa's premier resort hotel, searching for monsters.  
"I'm telling you, they probably just made that thing up to get a good story in Tokyo. Mutants and terrorists. Feh." His companion shrugged as they both made their way into a clearing.  
"Be that as it may, you ever get the feeling that you've just been set up?"  
The first security guard blinked. "What?"  
"You know, almost like a plot device?" The second man clarified. "Like you're just a part of a bigger story?"  
The first man eyed him carefully. "I'm not sure I know what you mean..."  
His companion looked thoughtful for a moment, then spoke again. "Well, for example, say that we were just two completely unsuspecting victims, and our only purpose for existing was to spur on the rest of a much bigger plot line with our bloody deaths. You ever wonder about that?"  
The first man stared at him incredulously. "No, I never have."  
"Oh. Forget I mentioned it then." The second guard waved his hand as if discarding the subject, then looked over his friend's shoulder. "Carrier." *Click* *Blam!!* *Blam!!* *Blam!!* *Blam!!*  
The first guard dove to the side as his partner fired, and stared wide-eyed as the pale, bone-thin body of an E-series mutant, commonly known as a "carrier" fell nervelessly onto the ground, its bullet-torn head oozing a thick, black slime. All around the creature, small black slugs slithered away from the dead body, suddenly deprived of the electrical charges necessary for their survival.  
"Wha... tha... it... but..."  
The second guard didn't seem nearly so surprised, and walked over to help his companion up. "Wow, guess they are real, huh?"  
The confused and terrified guard stared up at his partner, stared down at the hand that was offered to him, and then stared at the incapacitated carrier, its arms still clawing slowly at the dirt as if fighting death. Then he fainted.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Authorities have heavily investigated the destruction of the off-shore platform, as well as searching extensively for any link between the invasive Russian warships and the powerful tornado that witnesses claim caused the structure to collapse. Russian officers claim that one of their ships were commandeered by terrorist forces, and then used to spread a biological contaminant in the water's of the bay. The officers of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment, the group of officials that claim the destruction of the platform as "collateral damage", back up the story perfectly, but military officials remain skeptical. Reportedly, this follows a very colorful history of "collateral damage" that has followed the DAPC's relatively short life.*  
Ranma, Asuka, Sakura, Junko, Tiro, and Tycho all glanced at Snake.  
"What?! Ranma did it this time!" He shifted uncomfortably at the stares.  
"You started it!" Ranma shot back.  
*Investigation of the area concludes that there's no trace of any biological contaminant in the water, or for that matter, ANY surviving biological life in the waters surrounding the platform. Some researchers have attributed this to the platform's thermal core overheating, while others have speculated that perhaps the mysterious contaminant killed all the sea life and then burnt itself out.* The light tone of sarcasm made it clear that the journalist was accepting the former theory as the truth. *Authorities HAVE, however, finished investigating the nuclear submarine that was destroyed next to the platform, and concluded that it had in fact been captured by hostile forces. This is supported by witnesses that have reported hearing gunfire near the docks yesterday morning. The incident has sparked much debate and confusion in Russian and Japanese relations, and the remaining submarines have left Japan for fear of political repercussions.*  
"What, they believe the Russians, but not us? That hardly seems fair," Tiro muttered.  
"Actually, they only believed them up to the part about the whale trying to eat the submarine. Once their story started to mesh with ours, their credibility went out the window." Junko clarified.  
*With the repeated terrorist attacks throughout the city, the increasing numbers of mutant sightings, the continued corporate breakdown and widespread corruption, the report of a rogue Russian military leader loose in Japan, and the complete and utter destruction of a crucial component of Japan's future economy, the public is demanding action and accountability by the government. The Prime Minister replied promptly, firmly shifting blame for all the previously stated incidences, as well as the random paths of destruction in areas of suburban Tokyo and the recent upsurge in panty thefts, on the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment.*  
"The more things change, the more they stay the same," Ranma muttered sourly.  
*It has also been noted that to decrease the probability of more widespread destruction, the Tokyo City Council is temporarily suspending DAPC operations within the city until more detailed reports can confirm the whole incident. On that same note, it has been reported that if any of the DA officers are ever found within sniper range of the remaining oil platform, they are to be shot on sight and without warning. This is especially ironic, since a confirmed terrorist sighted within that same area is to be contacted and asked to surrender first. However-* *Click*  
Everyone in the DAPC main office sweatdropped as they processed that last bit of information. Asuka lowered the remote control, and turned on her heel to look over her subordinates.  
"Well everyone, it would appear that with the destruction of the very structure we were trying to save, we have unanimously become Japan's scapegoat." Though her voice was perfectly calm, Ranma swallowed deeply as he saw the plastic remote control in her hand start to crack and splinter as her grip tightened.  
Ranma looked at Snake. Snake looked at Ranma. "He did it!" They shouted, pointing at each other.  
*Crack!* The remote control snapped into plastic shards that rained down onto the police captain's feet. She didn't seem to notice, and again her voice did not rise as she spoke. "It doesn't matter who did it. Bottom line is, we got our job done, and possibly saved some lives. That's what counts. That we destroyed a major economic facility is unfortunate, but we'll take the heat for it and that's that. You are all dismissed." She casually swept some of her hair behind her shoulder, and began walking toward her office, the very picture of stone-like calm.  
'Whoa,' Ranma thought, 'she's taking this really well. The way she'd acted before, I was expecting something more like...'  
That thought trailed off as Asuka stopped in front of him, trembled mightily, then suddenly grabbed his shoulders and planted her face into his chest.  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! This can't be happening!! *Sob* We were supposed to be heroes!! *Gasp* *Sob*"  
'... Well, not quite like this,' Ranma mentally amended as his mind went into panic mode, trying desperately to deal with the woman with her arms wrapped around his neck who was bawling into his shoulder. A wild look around revealed everyone either staring at the scene in surprise or slowly backing away from the scene nervously.  
"*Sob* The news was supposed to say, 'Brave officers of the DAPC defeat terrorist faction and save Tokyo'!! *Sob* *Choke* 'DA officers go above and beyond the call of duty to protect Japan'!! *Sniffle* 'Captain of the DAPC awarded medals for bravery and tactics'!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
Ranma bigsweated and searched for something to say. "Hey, c'mon! We did great! What do they know, anyway?"  
Asuka's head shot up, her eyes twin windows of heat and anger.  
'Oops. Wrong answer.'  
Because she already had her arms around his neck, it was a rather simple matter for Asuka to reposition herself so that her hands were around his neck instead.  
"It's all YOUR fault I didn't get my good publicity!! YOU blew up the platform!! ARRRRGH!!!" She began strangling him violently, and Ranma's face began to turn purple.  
"Hey! *Cough* Snake *Hack* blew the *Choke* core!" Ranma tried to pry Asuka's hands off his throat, only to have his superior officer suddenly stop strangling him and stare him dead in the eyes.  
"He's next," she pronounced the simple statement as one would a death sentence, and Snake nearly fell over in his scramble for the exit.  
And was thus almost hit in the face, as Kyle pushed the front door open, waving a conspicuous-looking manilla folder in one hand. "Hey Asuka! Get a load of this!"  
Asuka blinked, and unconsciously let go of Ranma, who fell to the floor in a heap. "What is it now, Kyle?"  
Kyle smiled and stuck the folder out in front of her. "Check it out! New orders!"  
Asuka blinked once more. "Orders? We were just suspended on national television. How could we be getting orders?" She took the folder, and stared at the big red markings on the front. "Top-secret? Why would they give us anything confidential?"  
Kyle shrugged. "I didn't say they were OUR orders. But I was visiting my dad over at the military base, saw this thing lying around, and picked it up to read. I guess I forgot to put it back." Kyle chuckled in embarrassment as everyone else grew sweatdrops. "It's pretty interesting! You should read it!"  
Ranma watched tiredly as Asuka scanned over the papers and quickly lost sight of everything else. "I have a BAD feeling about this."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Bei held her head down slightly as she followed her boss down the corridor of Wraith Lab's underground research facility, every wary of the elder woman's vicious temper. Alexandra had been none too pleased to see her plans at the oil platforms go awry, and was currently trying to let out all her frustration before she had to report to her superiors, a task that Bei didn't envy in the least.  
Alex stopped at the door to her special office, and took a deep breath before stepping in.  
Taking out the remote control from its usual place, she spared a sharp look at Bei, causing the smaller woman to nearly stumble over herself as she evacuated the room.  
"Activate command module. Password: venom." Alex muttered darkly.  
*VOICE RECOGNITION CONFIRMED. SUBJECT ALEXANDRA TOKIMA IDENTIFIED. ACCESS GRANTED, LEVEL BETA. COMMAND?*  
Alex sighed. "Access wavelength frequency 87-4."  
*CONFIRMED. COMMUNICATION LINK ESTABLISHED.*  
The wall opened up, and Alexandra could already imagine the heat in her superiors' shadowed gazes as the screens activated.  
#4 was the first to speak. "Ah, Miss Tokima. It's been too long since your last report."  
Alex bowed her head. "Yes, I apologize. Again, I've been busy."  
A chuckle emanated from #1's speaker. "Yes, we've seen what you've been up to."  
Alex winced. "I assume you refer to the incident concerning the oil platforms?"  
#3 nodded. "Yes, we do. And we'd like to congratulate you on your success!"  
Alex bowed her head once more. "Forgive me. It was my responsibility, and I am willing to accept the conse-" she stopped, and blinked. "...... Success?"  
"Your plan was nothing short of brilliant!" #2 crowed, "an entire division of Core soldiers, and the platform, all wiped out in one fell swoop!"  
Alexandra sweatdropped. "Huh? Well, yeah, but-"  
"And then to get the blame placed upon the DAPC! Fabulous!" #1 laughed at the irony.  
"I suppose, but I was really trying to-" Alex was again cut off.  
"Was that planned, or did the DA really just walk in and blow up the platform?" #5 mused.  
Before Alexandra could answer, #4 snorted. "Please, she had to have planned that. There's no way they could be that stupid."  
"Er, actually-"  
"AND, with the Russian task force in chaos, they've abandoned the search for Yuchtzky and fled Japan!" #3 laughed. "I'm not certain if you planned that as well, but it worked flawlessly!"  
Alex stared at the screens helplessly. "Uh... thanks?"  
#5 nodded. "Yes, yes. Speaking of our friend Igov, he's provided us with some very interesting schematics. We were going to give him his own task force and just let him run around and create havoc, but in light of your exceptional performance, we've decided to put him under your command, alongside Konta."  
Alex blinked, still trying to recover from all the unexpected praise. "You have my utmost gratitude. I'll try to live up to your expectations."  
#2 chuckled. "Don't worry about it! Oh! And we've also got a new assignment for you!"  
#3 picked it up. "Intelligence confirms that Shiromir Incorporated is holding an executive retreat at the Yukado Resort Hotel in Okinawa. As these are the same executives who continue to resist our attempts at hostile takeovers and sabotage, this would be an ideal time to simply wipe the whole lot of them out at once."  
#5 laughed. "A remote location surrounded by forest and swamp and an army of monsters! Who could resist?"  
#1 cleared his throat. "While this does provide a unique opportunity, there is some bad news. This area was recently used as a wide-range test site for the latest shipment of E-series mutants you've sent to us. One of the carriers... exceeded mission parameters, and attacked the Yukado. It was destroyed. Luckily for us, the hotel wants to keep the incident as quiet as possible, and there's still much skepticism among the Japanese populace towards the recent mutant attacks. Security will be heightened, but it shouldn't offer any significant resistance."  
Alexandra nodded seriously. "Of course. I will begin the preliminary planning immediately."  
#2 chuckled as he stared down through his shadowed camera. "We're sure you'll do just fine, Tokima. Now go! And free this country from its oppressors!" He slammed a dark fist on an off-screen table, and the various screens all winked off.  
Alex stood in silence for a long while, staring at the wall as it closed over the hidden communications screen. 'Well, that went better than I expected.' She mused. "BEI!!!"  
There was the sound of heels pounding on sleek steel floors as her assistant rushed to the room, and the smaller woman almost fell into her boss as she barrelled through the door.  
Alexandra smiled at her. "Bei, find some people to drive the tanks. We're going out for a ride."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma scratched his head. "So, wait, you actually fitted him with a collar?"  
Seras nodded. "Yup. I was considering getting him a license with his name on it too, but I thought that might be too degrading."  
Ranma stared at the man crouching inside the 4' X 4' cage as he twitched irritably. He was currently hunched over on all fours, and had a bright red collar around his neck with a great many wires sticking out of it.  
"And so, you just push that button, and it gives him an electric shock?" Tiro shot a glance at the small, one-button remote control that the medical professional had tucked in his coat pocket.  
"That's right!" Seras grinned, and took a quick swig of rum from one of the many bottles lining his work table. "Would you believe that in America, they actually say things like this are inhumane?"  
Ranma cocked his head to one side. "So, does he do tricks or anything?"  
The terrorist growled and was about to say something, but immediately shrunk back when Seras gestured to the remote. "I taught him to beg for food and water. Wanna see?"  
Before Ranma or Tiro could answer, Asuka burst into the room. "You guys! You guys! This is perfect! Come on, we're going!"  
Tiro blinked. "Going? Going where? We're all suspended from operations!"  
Asuka smirked at him. "Operations within the city!" She corrected, poking him in the nose with her index finger. "But, we can still work in, say, Okinawa!"  
Ranma blinked. "I don't follow."  
Asuka's expression didn't waver. "Just pack your casual clothes and guns! We're leaving this afternoon!" Still smiling, she turned on her heel and walked out, humming to herself.  
Ranma found himself staring after her, and shook his head. 'Man... she's kinda cute when she smiles...' then he shook his head, and looked away bitterly. 'Knock it off, man! You remember what became of the last time you thought that!'  
Tiro tapped Ranma on the shoulder. "Hey man, you okay? You kind of spaced out there."  
Ranma blinked. "Huh? Oh! Uh... it's, er... the terrorist's trying to escape!" Ranma blurted out, trying to cover.  
"No I wa-*ZAAK!!!* GYAAAAUGH!!!"  
Seras clicked his tongue as he put the remote control back into his pocket. "Now now, what have I told you about trying to get out? Do we have to go through another 'lesson'?" The tattooed man whimpered pathetically as wisps of smoke curled up from his hair.  
  
Ranma ignored the scene as he stepped out of the lab area, stepping over the empty bottles lying across the floor. "C'mon Tiro, we have to pack."  
Tiro followed, hands in his pockets. "I wonder what for? Civilian clothes and guns?"  
Ranma smirked. "Maybe we're going undercover to try and protect the potential victims, catch the bad guys, and destroy a secret enemy facility."  
Snake chose that moment to pass the pair in the hallway, hauling a box full of explosive charges. "Yeah, and Takami won't even let me bring the flamethrower! I've told her again and again! 'Spy missions always end up being demolition-fests'! But does she listen to me? Noooooo... Hasn't she ever seen the James Bond movies?" He continued muttering to himself as he reached the backdoor, and kicked it open.  
Tiro turned to Ranma. "You think you're funny, but you're not."  
Ranma sighed.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Alexandra sighed contently as the small convoy lumbered along one of the many unpaved back roads in this region of Okinawa, the scent of fuel and oil lingering amidst the fresh scent of the trees. Right behind her, Bei waited patiently at the wheel of a jeep.  
The roads all led to the Yukado Hotel, and were used by supply trucks and employees, so as not to interfere with the customers. The Freedom's Angels hadn't run into any employee vehicles, but an eighteen-wheeler carrying a load of fresh towels now decorated the side of one such road, a large blackened hole in its side.  
"Take the tanks into the side road that leads to the backup generator and park them there!" Alex yelled to the battalion commander, who nodded back to her. "You know what to do if someone finds you! But try to keep it quiet!" The commander nodded again, then ducked into the tank and led the armor column forward.  
Alexandra smirked, then climbed into the jeep behind her. "Let's go, Bei." The smaller woman nodded, and pulled the vehicle onto the road before heading toward the hotel.  
  
Alex was pleasantly surprised to see Igov standing outside of the Yukado service entrance, flanked by two Russians with no visible weapons handy.  
"Yuchtzky! What are you doing here?"  
He chuckled deeply. "Igov has come to give schematics for keeping the tanks in repair. IS-2 is very old, and can be unreliable if not properly maintained." With a wave of his hand, both guards turned and entered the building.  
Alex nodded appreciatively. "Thank you. I see you shaved. I like the new look."  
Igov grinned, and light flashed off the red lens of his cybernetic eye. Indeed, his beard was gone, and his plain trench coat had been replaced by a heavier, more elaborate one. It was cashmere rather than leather, and appeared to be heavily padded. It was also decorated with many medals and decorations collected from Russian military service, including a few that clearly emphasized the hammer and sickle of the old Soviet Union.  
"Igov has also come to ask for favor. Wraith owns new testing facility on outskirt of Okinawa, correct?"  
She nodded.  
"I require workspace to make some... new toys. If you could put facility under my control, it would greatly benefit you."  
Alexandra smiled, and was about to answer him, when a very different voice interrupted them.  
"I'm afraid that this request isn't possible. You see, that facility is mine."  
Alex's eye twitched, and Igov's smile became far less pronounced. "Konta..."  
Sighing, she turned around and glared down at the shorter man, who was standing at the edge of the hotel loading area.  
Yoshi walked up to Alex calmly, his face a great deal more neutral than usual. "I have need of another lab for a little side-project I've been working on, since you seem to disapprove of my altering Project Mobius for such things."  
Alex kept on glaring. "What are you doing here, Konta?"  
The little man raised an eyebrow. "I'm just here to give you my updated budget requirements, which includes the structure in question, as well as making a little delivery for you." He handed Alex a small folder, which she snatched away and opened.  
Igov stepped forward, and began to walk in a circle around the bespectacled scientist. "So you are Konta. Igov has heard a great deal about you."  
Yoshi looked up tiredly into the much taller man's cybernetic eyepatch. "Oh? You don't sound terribly impressed."  
A small smile formed at the corner of Igov's lips. "Your work IS impressive. If not... inefficient."  
"Really?" Yoshi deadpanned.  
Igov smiled fully. "These... viruses. Mutants. Parasites. These are not the tools of war! They cannot replace bullets and armor!" He shook his head.  
Yoshi rolled his eyes. "Oh? Maybe you'd feel differently if you were to pit your 'bullets and armor' against them." His cruel grin would have made a lesser man shudder, but Igov didn't even flinch.  
Alexandra cleared her throat, and both men turned toward her. "Konta, level with me. Why do you need all this?"  
The diminutive scientist blinked, and adjusted his glasses. "Oh, just to play around a little, you know? Maybe I could even do something about those DAPC that keep interfering with your plans."  
"Ju-Just 'play around'?!" Igov shouted incredulously. Yoshi ignored him.  
Alex gave him a flat stare. "Konta, I don't have time for this. If you're going to waste my time-"  
Before she could finish, the loud crack of dry leaves and branches came from the edge of the forest, and she and Igov turned to see an armored delivery truck backing up through the woods and into the rear of the hotel.  
"Ah, it's here." Yoshi pulled out a small remote, and pushed one of the buttons on it. The grinding hum of gears and motors started, and the steel roll-away door on the rear of the truck opened up.  
Alex's eyes widened, and Yoshi could swear that a few sparks shot out of Igov's optical implant.  
"Er, what are-"  
"Miss President," Yoshi began smugly, "may I present the K-series mutants. The Kain module is completed."  
Alexandra was speechless, and Igov's eye narrowed.  
Yoshi grinned and took Alex's hand, wrapping it around the controller. "You're welcome. Remember, I need those budget items before Tuesday. See you tomorrow." He swiftly turned around and walked straight into the hotel before Alex could think of anything to say.  
  
She stared after him for a moment, then looked back at the creature in the truck, staring listlessly out at her. "I hate that man."  
"Then why do you humor him?" Igov asked bluntly. "This... thing... no doubt it is powerful, but it is still flesh and blood. Steel will always prevail."  
Alex bit her bottom lip. "I might agree with you... but that little gnome is a genius. And I say that with as much criticism as I can." 'Besides which, I'm not sure what will happen if I don't give that twit what he wants,' she thought bitterly. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to put the facility under his control. Perhaps I can find something else for you."  
He sighed. "It will have to do, then. Thank you for your efforts." Igov excused himself, and entered the hotel himself.  
Alex turned toward the truck, to see Bei creeping around the rear, trying to observe the mutations as closely as possible without being within arm's reach should they spontaneously awake.  
"Well, I'd better put these things to work," She muttered to herself.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Igov mumbled to himself in Russian as he stalked through the hotel, getting a number of odd looks from the various employees and customers. Of course, it was equally likely that they were staring at his mechanical optical unit, but they were all staring nonetheless.  
The Russian warrior was so busy brooding over the unfortunate turn of events, that he didn't see anybody in front of him until he had nearly bowled him over.  
Igov's arm lashed out to steady the man he had knocked into. "So sorry, please, excuse me."  
The tall blond guy blinked, then stared. "Whoa! Hey, you guys! Check this out!"  
A man with black hair tied in a ponytail rushed over, his mouth agape as he pointed to the metal apparatus attached to Igov's head. "Sweet! Is that thing real?"  
Igov sweatdropped. "Yes, it is. Now, if you will excuse-"  
"Ooh!" exclaimed a redhead that joined the group. "Cybernetics! Sexy!" She winked at him, and the sweatdrop grew.  
The Russian General was about to ask them to move so he could leave, when the blond one started poking at the medals on his chest.  
"Hey, isn't this that Soviet Union symbol thingy? That is so cool!"  
The man with the ponytail leaned over to inspect the other decorations, and Igov grimaced uncomfortably.  
"These are all Russian military awards!" Tycho commented, whistling.  
Junko blinked. "Russian military? Boy, you've been around, haven't you?"  
Igov lowered his head slightly, smirking, and Kyle and Tycho both stepped back. "Yes, I suppose I have. My name..." his head shot up, and the light in his cybernetic eye flared a bright, blood red. "Is Igov Yuchtzky. To my enemies, I am known as 'The Red Death'." His smirk grew into a grin, and he raised a fist in the air, as if to keep it ready.  
Tycho smiled. "Awesome. Love the nickname, man."  
Kyle nodded. "Very stylish. And the lens flare too; that was a nice effect."  
Igov stared at them mutely for a moment, then shrugged and walked past them, unsure as to why he expected a stronger response.  
"See ya, dude!" Kyle called back, "Stay away from electromagnets!"  
Asuka chose that moment to exit the lobby, missing the tall, graying Russian completely as she entered the hallway that separated the numerous ballroom suites. "Who are you talking to?"  
Junko blinked. "Ah, his name was Yut... er... Yut-something. I think."  
Tycho shrugged. "Nobody important. Not in this chapter, anyway."  
Asuka stared for a moment. "Riiiiiiight..." Then she turned and yelled out into the lobby. "Snake, get the others and come on!"  
Snake entered the hallway, followed by Ranma, Sakura, and Tiro.  
Asuka quickly took stock of everyone present, then nodded and opened the door of the ballroom right next to her. "All right, everybody, get in quickly!" She ducked into the room backward and ushered everybody else in, pulling them down into a huddle once Ranma turned to close the ballroom door.  
"All right, now listen up! Our objective, above all else, is to protect the Shiromir executives that are staying here from terrorist attack!"  
"Uh, Captain?" Ranma asked, being the only one out of the huddle.  
"Not now, Saotome! What we need to do is assign half of us to handle any mutant or terrorist activity,"  
"Captain?"  
"Later!" Asuka snapped, "And then the other half will search for any kind of encampment or compound and take out the terrorists at the source!"  
"This is kind of important..." Ranma tried again.  
"NOT NOW, Saotome!!" She screeched, glaring at the pigtailed man before once again returning to her huddle. "Try to keep property damage to a MINIMUM, please! Protecting the potential victims has priority over blasting the bad guys!"  
"Asuka!" Ranma insisted once again.  
The police captain growled, then stood up fully to glare at her subordinate. "What is it?!"  
Ranma sighed, then pointed behind her. "I believe we've already located the enemy."  
  
The entire DAPC blink-blinked, then turned around to actually look at the ballroom they had ducked into.  
Near the back were four large glass cylinders mounted on electronic disks that each contained a carrier, eerily floating in some sort of translucent green-blue liquid. Standing in front of the containers were three Freedom's Angels, with AK-47s drawn and pointed at the intruders. Standing off to the side was a short brown-haired woman with a handgun drawn, and a gorgeous brunette who was massaging her forehead with her hand.  
"I can't believe nobody even locked the door," the taller woman muttered, sighing.  
Asuka gulped as she saw the armed terrorists scowl at them. "Couldn't you have mentioned this a little earlier, Saotome?"  
"Don't even start," Ranma grumbled irritably.  
Alexandra smirked as she looked over the group. "Well now, if it isn't the DAPC. Is there a... problem, officers?" Then she blinked. "Tiro?"  
Tiro chuckled nervously. "Hey cuz! So... consorting with terrorists... this is what you've been up to, huh?" He noticed that all of his companions were now staring at him. "Heh... boy, is this awkward..."  
Tycho gaped. "That's... your cousin? But isn't she-Whoa! She's the president of Wraith Laboratories!"  
Asuka gasped. "Wraith? Then that's where they've been getting the technology for all their biological experiments!"  
"And if she's working for the Freedom's Angels, then they must be the ones who kept Wraith funded so that it didn't go bankrupt!" Snake added.  
"And Wraith has been trying to buy out Shiromir, probably to produce their war machines! That explains the attacks!" Ranma finished.  
"Congratulations, Sherlock," Bei muttered.  
Junko whistled, running a hand through her hair. "Wow, this is all coming together pretty fast, huh?" Upon getting no response, she turned to see Kyle taking notes on a small notepad. She sweatdropped.  
Alex's lips curled into a smile once more. "Well, good for you. Now what are you going to do about it?"  
Snake's grin was unexpected. "This is what we're gonna do! You're all under arrest! Put your hands where we can see them, or-" it was about at this time that he patted his waist with his hand, and realized that there was no gun there. "Uh... oops. I forgot. Our guns are still in our suitcases."  
The FAs sweatdropped.  
"Well, where are our suitcases?" Junko asked.  
"I think they're back at the front desk," Tycho answered.  
"What are they doing back there?" Snake demanded, "They should at least have made it to the hallway!"  
"Dude, I told you to tip the bell boy."  
Alexandra rolled her eyes. "Incompetent. Just as I thought."  
Sakura raised her hand. "Don't worry, I'll go get them!" She immediately rushed for the door.  
"Hey! Stop, or I'll shoot!" Bei shouted, jabbing her 9 mm. at the blond woman.  
Sakura did stop, but only after tripping over her own feet in surprise and panic. Falling to the floor, her hand lashed out to grab onto the only protrusion on the wall.  
*Click* Out went the lights.  
*Rattattattattattattatta!!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Crash!* *Tinkle*  
"Augh! Duck and cover!"  
"Help! I can't see!"  
"Where is everyone?"  
"Who's shooting?"  
"The terrorists, you twit!"  
"Cool! That green stuff glows in the dark!"  
"Why's it all spilled out on the floor?"  
"EEK!!! Who touched me!" *Slap!*  
"Bei! Where are you?"  
"Ranma! Help!"  
"I'm hit! I'm hit! I'm... never mind, I just fell down."  
"Where's my notepad? I dropped it!"  
"Ow! My knee!"  
"My notepad! If I don't get it back, I'll never figure out what's going on!"  
*Click* On went the lights.  
Kyle breathed a sigh of relief as he picked up the small stack of notes. "I found it!" He announced, right before he looked up.  
Everyone was where they started, with the exception of the carriers, which apparently escaped from the containers after they were shattered by stray gunfire. Which was quite unusual, as they were BEHIND the only people in the room with guns.  
The terrorists holding the automatic rifles had dozens of vamps attached to them, and each wore an expression of sheer surprise.  
Alexandra and Bei were untouched, and looked rather surprised themselves.  
Ranma frowned. "Well... that's a LITTLE better..."  
Shrugging, he reached for the light switch.  
*Click*  
"Geez, not again!"  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
"Stop shooting before you kill someone!"  
"That's the idea, fool!" *Blam!* *Blam!*  
"AAAAAAH!!! Get them off me!!"  
"No touching!" *Slap!*  
"Oh, the humanity!!"  
"Help! *Gurgle*" *Thud*  
"Ow! Who stepped on my foot?!"  
"Open the door nimrod!"  
"Let's get out of here!"  
"Move aside! Comin' through!"  
"Make way! Make way!"  
*Click*  
Alexandra blinked as light once again flooded the room, and took her hand from the light switch.  
Right behind her, Bei stood with her hands clamped firmly around her pistol and her arms locked straight as she breathed heavily from the sudden excitement.  
Frowning, Alex realized that the door was closed, and the police officers were nowhere to be seen.  
"Rrrrgh..."  
Bei squeaked slightly and jerked her arms to the side, pointing her weapon directly at the three parasite-ridden men shambling towards them.  
Alex sighed. "Well, there goes my weekend. Such a waste. Get them in the head, Bei. It'll be faster that way."  
The smaller woman nodded. *Click!* *Click!* *Click!*  
Then she blinked. "Oops. Out of ammo."  
Alex twitched. The men lunged.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka hobbled through the hallway irritably, trying to nurse her bruised foot as she walked. "Well, that went less than gracefully..."  
Junko fumed. "How is it that they're stocking the party rooms with mutants now? Didn't anybody notice?"  
Ranma looked about as he followed the others through the hall, and saw more than one black slug writhing in a corner. "I bet they'll notice now."  
"Well, this bit didn't last too long before spiralling out of control, did it?" Snake muttered. "Let's get our guns and mop up."  
Asuka nodded, and opened the door to the lobby. "You take Wattai and get our weapons. Then we'll split up. We've got to evacuate the hotel, eliminate the mutants, save the infested civilians, and track down Miss President."  
"Right away!" Tycho and Snake saluted and rushed out into the lobby.  
Asuka frowned at the rest of her forces. They were all dressed in casual clothes, ranging from Sakura's tank top and miniskirt to Ranma's green, oversized Chinese coat and pants. "I don't suppose anybody brought their body armor, did they?"  
She got blank stares from everyone but Sakura, who blushed. "I tried, but I couldn't fit it into my shoe suitcase without leaving something behind, so..."  
"Please, I don't want to know," Asuka deadpanned.  
  
Snake burst into the lobby of the hotel, spying the DA's pile of luggage right away. He also noticed that there were a substantial number of people gathered in the lobby.  
"Hey! Get out of here! The place is being overrun! Evacuate immediately!"  
Everybody in the lobby turned to look at him blankly. One of the men behind the counter frowned.  
"Did you have anything to do with the gunfire a moment ago? What's going on?!" He demanded. Several of the people assembled in the lobby glared at the two men, their bags at their side, waiting for a proper explanation for the disturbance.  
Tycho ran for the DA's bags, while Snake stalked over to the front desk, flipping out his badge. "Yo! As a registered police officer, I demand that you evacuate this place as soon as possible!"  
Some of the people in the room decided that they had heard enough and headed out. The man at the front desk stared at the police shield that had been thrusted in his face, and his expression went flat.  
"Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment?"  
Snake smiled slightly. "Ah, I see you havn't heard of us."  
"Actually, I have."  
"Drat." Snake muttered. "Look, we've got several armed men inside the hotel who will not hesitate to fire upon civilians, as well as several mutants crawling around the place!"  
Some of the people gasped in shock and surprise, while others suppressed chuckles.  
The manager rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, and I'll bet we have man-eating whales in our pool as well. If you gentlemen insist on causing trouble, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave." The heat in his eyes was a pretty good indication that he was planning on asking them anyway.  
"Hmph!" Snake scoffed, turning away toward Tycho, "Fine, be that way."  
"Raaaagh..." The manager blinked, and was about to ask what that noise was, right before a black tentacle burst through the [Employees Only] door behind him, wrapped around his leg, and dragged him screaming into the adjacent room.  
Snake shook his head sadly as the various customers began screaming and rushing out of the hotel lobby. "It's always just a big joke until someone gets dragged away into the shadows..."  
Tycho pulled a large suitcase out from underneath Sakura and Junko's numerous bags of clothes and accessories. "Stupid girls, never can just pack light..." he opened up the case, and was rewarded with several Barettas set into a plastic foam mold, alongside several stacks of ammo clips. "We've got handguns!"  
"Gyaaaaah..." Snake smirked as the carrier entered the lobby from behind the front desk, vamps oozing about its body and black tentacles whipping through the air.  
"Hand me the gym bag, would you? The one with 'fragile' on it." Snake skipped back almost casually as a black, fleshy tendril lashed out at him, and his smirk grew into a grin.  
"Ergh..." Tycho gulped at the sight as the mutant creature seemed to size them up through its empty, flesh-covered sockets, and quickly yanked out the aforementioned bag. "Catch!" The bag left his hand, and he quickly loaded and aimed his Baretta.  
Snake was almost knocked to the floor by the heavy bag, but managed to barely keep his balance. Unfortunately, he was unable to dodge when a hail of vamps and black goo rained over him, and was promptly knocked to the ground as the mind-altering parasites took hold.  
Tycho shouted incoherently, and managed to clear his vision so that he could still aim.  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Thwap* A tentacle knocked him to the side, disorienting him for a moment, and knocking the weapon to the ground. He stood, stunned from the impact, and then groaned before he started peeling vamps off of himself, feeling the paralysis overcome him.  
Seeing the one with the gun start to lose energy, the carrier lazily shifted its attention to the much brighter haze of body heat that represented Snake.  
That is, right before an object with no body heat slammed into it, throwing it back into the wall and crushing its ribcage.  
"Shoot it now!" Ranma shouted.  
Snake ripped the last vamp off his shin, and quickly unzipped the bag, revealing the silvery casing of his Vindicator minigun. Attaching an ammo belt, he raised it to the carrier, which was struggling mightily with the fire extinguisher embedded in its chest.  
*Vrrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!* Snake cut a line from above the carrier downward, making a neat line of bullet holes straight down through the mutant.  
*Booom!* The extinguisher exploded violently, and Snake let the minigun's engine die, the last of the spent casings bouncing on the marble tiled floor.  
Ranma coughed a bit as a wave of carbon dust washed over the front counter, masking everything in white powder. "Can you guys hurry up? We've still got three more of those things walking around!"  
"Yeah, yeah! Just a sec..." Tycho wiped some black slime off his leg, then staggered to his feet as he continued to search the luggage for weapons.  
Snake jogged over to the nearest fire alarm, smashed the glass cover with the handle of his minigun, and then pulled the lever. An ear-piercing shriek tore through the building, and everyone present winced at the shrill alarm.  
"That should get people out of here! Tycho, give one of those Pancors to Saotome!"  
Ranma snatched the automatic shotgun out of the air as it was tossed to him, and then noticed the others entering the lobby from behind.  
"What's going on here?" Asuka demanded. Tycho tossed her a Pancor Jackhammer as well, and she caught it easily.  
"Minor skirmish," Snake explained, wrapping an ammo belt around his chest and shoulders in a classic "Rambo-style" X. "One carrier down, three more to go." He fished a ski bag from the pile of luggage (an unusual item, as it was in the lower 90's outside), unzipped it, and slipped the rocket launcher over one shoulder via a leather strap.  
Sakura whimpered a bit as her brother took the last shotgun and handed her a Baretta. "What are we going to do?"  
Asuka frowned. "All right. Saotome, you take Yamazaki and Chikiko and search the rooms for that woman and the carriers. Snake, Wattai, you go secure the perimeter of the hotel and make sure that the evacuation can proceed smoothly. Kyle, you and your sister are with me. Move it!"  
"Yes ma'am!! Right away ma'am!!" Two groups immediately rushed out of the building, leaving the DA captain alone with the two blondes  
"Hey. Wait a minute..." Asuka started slowly.  
"If the management has already left, does that mean the mini-bars in the rooms really are free now?" Kyle asked. "Or do I still have to charge it to my room?"  
"So how does this thing work, anyway?" Sakura asked, poking at the handgun. "Wait, there's something jammed in the handle..." She worked the Baretta for a moment, and smiled as the ammo clip popped out. "There, that's better!"  
Asuka twitched. Then she whirled around. "Saotome! Snake! Wait! Come back! Anyone!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Did you hear something?" Junko asked as she jogged alongside Ranma in the hallway.  
"I didn't hear nothing." Ranma muttered decisively, looking back to make sure Tiro was keeping up with them.  
"Thaaaaugh..." Two men with vamps visible through torn clothing lumbered through a small room with several vending machines, turning slowly as Ranma entered with Junko at his side.  
*Thock!* *Whack!* Ranma didn't even give them time to fully orient themselves before he struck both of them to the ground.  
"Junko, could you get the slugs off?" Ranma didn't wait for Junko's nod before he backed himself up against a soda machine, scanning the halls to his left and his right. There were quite a few vamps crawling around on the walls and floors, as well as some thick black smears on the wall. No carriers though...  
Junko tossed off the last of the slimy parasites in disgust, and squished another one that was crawling for her leg with her heel.  
Tiro entered the small room, and immediately began digging into his pockets, pulling out some coins. "Finally, a vending machine! I'm about ready to dry up and... uh..."  
Ranma was about to ask why he stopped, when several black whips wrapped around the entire machine from the back, pinning Ranma firmly against the front of the metal box.  
Ranma began to struggle against the rubbery bands, and growled when he realized that Junko and Tiro were simply staring at him wide-eyed. "What are you waiting for?! Kill it!"  
This startled them out of their respective stupors, and they immediately unholstered their handguns.  
Ranma blinked and then gulped as they aimed straight at him, their arms shaking slightly from panic. "No! Wait! I take it back! Stop!"  
They quickly dropped their aim, realizing that they couldn't hit the carrier without getting Ranma anyway. Ranma didn't have time to be relieved though, as the tentacles slowly tightened, and the large machine was gently lifted off the floor. That is, right before it was not-so-gently thrown across the room, firmly smashing Ranma into the opposite wall.  
Tiro winced as plaster fell to the floor behind him. "Now that HAD to hurt."  
Junko gulped and took aim with her handgun again, now that the carrier was visible. "Less talking, more shooting!" *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
Junko and Tiro were hardly marksmen, and the bullets that hit the ghastly mutant were easily ignored, even as vamps wriggled out of the small holes oozing with black slime. Its arms bulged mightily, and it prepared to infect its prey.  
*WHAM!!!* The vending machine it had been hiding behind zoomed straight back across the room, smashed into the carrier, and then crashed through the opposite wall, breaking through the plaster, insulation, and piping, and then falling over onto its back, crushing the already-quite-dead mutation against the floor in the adjacent room.  
Ranma dusted bits of paint off his green Chinese pants. "Only one person does that to me and gets away with it creep, and she's not here!" He said, apparently to himself.  
Idly crushing a vamp that was making a break for him, Ranma turned to his comrades. "That's another one down! Where to next?"  
Junko shrugged, but Tiro's attention seemed riveted to one of the hallways.  
"This way! A woman's being attacked over there!"  
Ranma and Junko blinked. "How can you tell?"  
"My girl radar can track a major babe at 300 feet!" Tiro said with absolute seriousness. "Let's move!" He rushed into the previously indicated hall, Ranma and Junko hesitantly following him.  
"Everybody has their talents," Junko remarked.  
"True enough," Ranma muttered.  
  
Sure enough, within moments, Ranma could hear the sounds of a struggle in the hotel gym, and noted that there were a few knocked-out people lying on the ground, the parasitic vamps still attached to various parts of their bodies.  
"Get off of me, you freak!"  
Tiro burst into the room first, and saw exactly what he expected: a buxom, shapely woman struggling within the writhing tentacles of the third carrier of the day. He immediately focused on the mutant beast; it looked to be fairly wounded already, with several bullet holes in its chest, as well as other obvious inflictions that seemed to be more martial in nature. He wasn't really so concerned with what damage had been done, however, as much as how much damage he could do.  
"SPOON!!!" He cried, for absolutely no reason. *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
The first two shots missed, and the third one grazed the carrier's shoulder. One of the tentacles that the woman was successfully fending off whipped around and smashed him against the wall hard, and he slid to the floor as plaster cracked in a person shaped indentation.  
"Owie..."  
The carrier returned to its previous, more capable prey. The woman ripped off yet another vamp that was attempting to take hold, and pulled hard on the heavy weight machine she had grabbed onto, trying to pull herself from the black tendrils' iron grasp.  
*BLAM!!!* 12 gauge fire peppered the carrier, and a heavy, mourning moan rang out as black ooze sprayed from its back. Ranma stared hard at the creature, and lowered the Pancor Jackhammer. It stared back through empty eyes, and then suddenly its tentacles around the woman went slack, all of them lashing straight at the pigtailed officer.  
Faster than the eye could see, Ranma ducked under the slimy appendages, and the next thing the mutant knew (sort of), the barrel of the automatic shotgun was jammed upward into the bottom of its ribcage.  
*BLAM!!!* The entire upper half of the creature exploded in a shower of dark gore, spraying the near wall black.  
The lifeless waist toppled as the bone-thin legs stopped supporting it, and Ranma slowly stood up straight, a neutral expression on his face.  
"Wow. That was pretty cool!" The woman remarked, smiling slightly.  
Ranma turned and was about to say something, but then his eyes widened. Long brown hair, shapely legs, a curvaceous figure, and a chest that would have made Ms. Hinako jealous all came to him at once. "Hey! You're that Tokima chick! You run Wraith!"  
She blinked. "Uh..."  
Ranma growled and stepped forward to stand over her, pointing the Pancor straight into her face.  
He was never actually planning to pull the trigger, so his reflexive surprise at her foot lashing out at high speed and hitting him in the arm didn't end up filling her face with buckshot. The blow had hurt though, even if it didn't disarm him, as it was clearly intended to; that in itself was a surprise.  
The follow-up punch was again faster than Ranma would have anticipated, and he took the hit full in the shoulder rather than jumping clear and possibly allowing her to escape. Tossing the shotgun aside, he grabbed the woman's wrist with some surprising speed of his own, and twisted her around onto her back, pinning her down with his knee.  
He heard her grunt in frustration. "Ha! Serves you right!"  
Junko stalked up angrily, training her Baretta on the struggling woman. "You'll pay for what you've done! You're responsible for the deaths of dozens, maybe even hundreds of people!"  
Tiro groaned in pain as he got up, and sighed when he saw who Ranma had pinned. "Nope. Wrong woman."  
*Thud!* *Thud!* Ranma and Junko both facefaulted.  
The shapely brunette stared, confused, and then her face lit up. "Tiro? It's you!"  
Tiro smiled in embarrassment. "Hi Mia. Sorry about this." He held out a hand, and helped the woman to her feet. Then he turned toward his fellow officers. "Guys, this is Mia Tokima, Alex's identical twin sister."  
Junko sweatdropped. Ranma twitched. "So she's not evil?"  
Mia laughed nervously and shook her head. "No, I'm not. Don't worry about it though. I get that a lot. At least from everyone who's ever met Alexandra."  
Junko stared at her. Sure, the clothes were different; Alex had been wearing a professional business suit, and Mia was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but other than that, every single feature was the same. "How can you tell one from the other?" She asked Tiro.  
"It's in her eyes," Tiro explained, shrugging. "When you look Mia in the eyes, you just get this feeling like..." he fished around for the proper words, "like... like she isn't just distracting you so that someone behind you can stab you in the back. I mean, as opposed to her sister."  
Junko's sweatdrop returned, but Ranma just nodded. 'Sort of like Nabiki. Or unlike Nabiki. Whatever.'  
"So... Mia. What are you doing here?" Ranma asked suspiciously.  
"Yeah, I thought you were working in the upper-level military or something." Tiro commented.  
Mia looked around, as if someone might overhear the conversation. "I am, but I'm here on an espionage mission. We've long suspected Alexandra of taking part in terrorist activities and funding the Freedom's Angels' war efforts, but we needed evidence before we could get the drop on her. I'm here to get that evidence."  
Ranma looked down at the dismembered carcass of the carrier. "Does that count?"  
Mia nodded. "This whole operation has pretty much broken down though. We should get out of here."  
"First, we need to waste that last carrier," Ranma muttered.  
"I saw one headed toward the roof earlier, but I..." Mia trailed off as Ranma rushed to the nearest window, opened it, grabbed the top of the frame, and then swung up and out of sight. "Wow. He's good."  
Junko shrugged. "We need SOMEBODY competent, or we'd all die."  
Mia frowned as she began leading the two DA officers out of the gym, wiping slime out of her hair and kicking away any vamps that she saw. "Who are you guys anyway? I mean, that you're here, and armed like this?"  
Tiro smiled and jabbed a thumb to his chest. "We're the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment! We're on a mission to purge the hotel of mutants and protect the Shiromir executives from certain death!"  
When he finished the overdramatic story, his cousin was staring at him wide-eyed.  
"YOU'RE the DAPC?! You're kidding me!" Mia stared at the two officers as if they had suddenly grown devil horns.  
"Ah, our reputation precedes us," Junko muttered bitterly.  
"Wow!" Mia gasped, "You're responsible for more collateral damage than the Freedom's Angels and the Yakuza combined! You're the ones who gave Remerick that ulcer last week! You destroyed the oil platform and a major ecosystem!" She stared at Tiro with a look halfway between respect and fear. "I can't decide whether I'm impressed or horrified."  
Tiro sweatdropped. "Yeah, well, that last thing couldn't be helped. Really."  
Mia nodded. "Well, in any case, we need to work together now! We must find and stop Alex!"  
Junko glanced out the window. "Well, there she is. Now how do we stop her?"  
Mia and Tiro blinked, and then joined Junko at the window. Sure enough, Alexandra and Bei were both walking away from the hotel, passing through the pool area.  
"Let's go!" Mia shouted, drawing her depleted handgun and slipping in a new clip.  
"Yeesh, two minutes and already she's bossing us around," Tiro muttered. Junko merely rolled her eyes and followed.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Snake rested the large chaingun against his leg as the paramedics and volunteers continued running back and forth through the grand entrance to the hotel, carrying unconscious and battered bodies out.  
Those guests that hadn't encountered any carriers or vamps had all either volunteered to help those that had, or fled as quickly as they were able.  
Snake was bored. "Securing the perimeter" had involved shooting up a few vamps that had leaked out of the hotel, which in itself was a pointless activity, as the parasites would die anyway in under an hour.  
Snake being bored was a bad thing. Everyone who knew him knew this, and quite a few people that didn't knew it too. As it was, Tycho was just glad he had stopped reving the Vindicator engine just for fun.  
"Hey Wattai, I'm gonna go plant some C-4 in the lobby. Wanna come?"  
The driver jerked his head towards his superior officer. "Whoa! Wait! Why would you do that?"  
Snake shrugged. "We might need to blow it up."  
"Why would we need to blow it up? We're supposed to avoid causing damage!"  
Snake frowned. "Don't be such a wuss. Besides, it helped in the subway, didn't it?"  
"That's arguable," Tycho muttered, "and didn't you nearly kill Saotome?"  
"He got better," Snake retorted, "no harm, no foul."  
"E-Ex-Excuse me!" The two officers' conversation was interrupted, and they both turned to see a large man who they remembered as having evacuated already standing in front of them. He was pale and sweaty, and several of the people around him were looking at him in fear.  
"Yeah?" Snake asked casually. "What's up?"  
"Er, I... uh..." Suddenly, he was shoved to the side, and a smaller man with a tattoo on his right bicep holding an AK-47 stepped forward.  
"Get down and-" *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
The terrorist hit the ground, blood leaking from the holes in his chest.  
Snake handed Tycho back the Baretta. "Thanks. The chaingun takes too long to start up."  
Tycho blinked and took his gun back; he hadn't even been aware that Snake had taken it until after the terrorist's corpse had hit the ground. "Um... no problem."  
The man who had been acting as the gunman's human shield let out a terrified, though somewhat relieved, sigh, and then frantically rushed up to the officers.  
"You've got to do something! They blockaded the road!"  
Snake blinked. "A blockade? Seriously?"  
He nodded. "Yes! They've captured everyone! They've got tanks blocking the road; people can't even ram their way through!"  
Snake's eyes widened. "TANKS?!?!"  
Tycho gulped. "Ooh. Yeah. Maybe this isn't a job for us. If I can get a phone, then I can call in the military, and-Gah!" Tycho was caught off guard as Snake shoved the Vindicator minigun into his arms, and looked up to see the gun-happy lieutenant pulling his rocket launcher down over his shoulder.  
"Speak not one more word, Wattai! We're hunting armor! Move out! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" The various people gathered in the area began to slowly move away from the maniac loaded down with explosives, and Tycho sighed as he followed his superior officer into the woods lining the main road.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So the bullets go in this way?" Sakura said, trying to jam the wrong end of the clip into the handle of the Baretta.  
"No no, it's upside down. Like this." Kyle gently took the handgun and placed the ammo clip in it correctly, demonstrating that he at least understood the basics of simple ballistic weapons.  
"I don't know why we even bother to give her a gun..." Asuka muttered darkly, "she couldn't hit the side of a barn at 20 feet..."  
"Don't be mean!" Sakura whined, "And how do you know about that, anyway?"  
*Thud!* Asuka fell down.  
Kyle stared at her, amazed. "Whoa. Were you seriously just guessing? I don't think I told you about that..."  
"Don't talk to me," the captain commanded, pushing herself up off the floor. "And keep your gun handy, Kyle. We don't know what we're getting into here."  
The small group approached a partially darkened gaming room, full of couched and pool tables. One side of the room was composed of a huge glass window that opened up into the pool area, and spilled light into the room.  
Asuka crouched low to the ground, then dashed behind a pool table, holding her shotgun straight up and at the ready. She scanned the darkened areas of the room where an enemy might hide, and then slowly gestured for her subordinates to follow.  
Kyle and Sakura walked across the room after her.  
Sakura sighed. "I really wish I could have a body like that. I wonder what her diet is."  
Asuka nearly stumbled over herself as she began making her way to the exit. Sakura, Miss "perfectly proportioned", envied HER body?  
"Aw, sis, your body's fine. Lots of guys would kill to go out with you."  
Sakura flushed slightly. "Yeah, I know, but still, it'd be nice to have a perfect figure like that."  
"H-Hey!" The two blondes looked down at their captain, who was flushed in embarrassment, "Could you guys not talk about me when I'm right here?!"  
They blinked. "Talking about you?" Kyle asked, confused.  
"We were talking about her." Sakura corrected, pointing at the large glass wall.  
  
Alexandra passed by the pool calmly, her enticingly-cut business suit immaculate and untouched. Bei staggered behind her, looking a bit worse for wear, and nursing a bruise on her arm.  
Neither of them bothered to hide their passage as they walked into the woods surrounding the hotel, nor did they give the game room next to the pool a passing glance.  
  
Asuka glared up at her incompetent partners. "Idiots! Why didn't you tell me that you'd spotted them?!"  
Sakura blinked. "We thought you knew. Why were you crawling on the ground like that, then?"  
'Someday, I'm going to get a court order to keep the Tekai family from procreating and further diluting the gene pool.' That thought cheered her up substantially, and she jumped to her feet, Pancor at the ready.  
"Get them!"  
  
Bei jerked her head at the shout, and immediately reached for the handgun at her side. Alex's hand stopped hers, however, and then she remembered once again that she had forgotten a spare clip.  
Alexandra stared coolly as a tall, blond man in jeans and a t-shirt crashed through the glass wall, raining crystal shards about his as he raised his automatic shotgun at the pair of women.  
"Stop and I'll shoot!" He shouted.  
Alex and Bei quickly shared a glance, then bolted off the patio, running for the edge of the forest.  
Kyle kept his aim centered on Alexandra's back, until she was able to dodge behind a tree. "Wait... I think I got that wrong..." *Wham!* Asuka's shotgun bashed into his skull.  
"Gee, you think?! Get after them, you nitwit! You too blondie!" Kyle staggered a bit, but managed to recover as his female companions rushed by him.  
All three of them tore into the woods, dodging around trees and pushing away branches that were in their way. Soon, they reached an artificial pathway through a less natural-looking part of the woods, and ran down that after noticing heelprints in the soft sand that formed the path.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hum-dee-dum-dee-dum duh-duh..."  
On the main road leading up to the Yukado Resort Hotel, two tanks were parked bumper-to-bumper across the road, firmly blocking all automobile access. A third tank was parked not far from there, its engine running and its main cannon rigidly trained on a group of civilians all kneeling on the ground in a circle, hands on their heads.  
Armed terrorists guarded the group lazily, leaning against the tank or nearby trees while keeping their automatic rifles aimed and at the ready.  
One such guard hummed a tune to himself as he lit up a cigarette, and took a deep drag, sighing in satisfaction as he blew out a stream of wispy gas.  
Most of the Freedom's Angels considered even short-term hostage guarding to be bottom-level grunt work, but this particular man didn't mind one bit. He had joined the FAs because he had no money and had nowhere else to go, not because he liked violence and killing. He appreciated the idleness and boredom of guard duty, even as it made others restless.  
His introspection was cut short as someone else spoke up.  
"Hey, do you hear that?"  
He blinked. "Hear what?"  
*Vwooooosh* *KAABOOOOM!!!* The armor-piercing light rocket whisked over the tree line and stabbed deep into the side of the IS-2, detonating violently. The other terrorists watched with wide eyes as the war machine blew up from the inside, throwing huge plates of shrapnel into the surrounding forest and leaving only a blackened chassis, along with the burnt corpses of their comrades.  
Shaken, the men continued staring at the smoking wreck, until they saw a man with sandy hair step out from behind the trees, the launcher on his shoulder still smoking.  
Snake looked down at the smoldering cigarette, shaking his head. Then he turned to the men staring wildly at him with AK-47s drawn. "You see? Smoking kills!" He sighed dramatically, then stamped down on the small item, crushing it into the ground.  
One of the terrorists turned to his companions. "What are we waiting for? Waste him!!"  
Snake grinned and ducked behind the charred turret base and treads of the IS-2, hearing the bullets deflect harmlessly off the burnt armor.  
The hostages had all planted themselves flat onto the ground by this time, many of them wondering who they should be more afraid of (the DAPC had been big news recently, and Snake's picture had been particularly emphasized).  
Then, one of them heard the sound of a small engine starting up. Fortunately, the terrorists were too busy shooting to notice.  
*Vrrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!*  
Tycho lowered the minigun, and breathed a heavy sigh of relief, glad that the hostages had the sense of mind to make themselves as small a target as possible. On the road, the last of the FA gunmen fell to the ground, a line of bloody holes through his chest.  
Snake smiled pleasantly as he stood up and approached the bewildered civilians. "Hello there! You have just been rescued by the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment! For my boss's sake, please note that there has been no undue destruction or excessive loss of life. Just know that it is our duty and pleasure to make your battlefield experience more pleasant than it was just a minute ago! Thank you, and have a nice day!"  
The former hostages smiled uneasily at the obviously insane man, and slowly crept away, eventually breaking into a run for their cars on the side of the road.  
Snake gave a satisfied sigh for a job well done, then turned to the two parked tanks blocking the road. "NICE!!! IS-2s! These are classics!"  
Tycho stared, dragging the Vindicator heavily behind him. "A 'classic' tank?"  
"Sure! World War 2 model! Russian design! These things are museum quality! Check this out!" Snake jumped onto one of them and opened up the top hatch before sticking his head in. "Totally operational! Ammo stores and everything!"  
"Great..." Tycho muttered, resting the minigun on the rear as he stared at the oversized cannon.  
Snake sensed the lack of enthusiasm in his partner, and pulled himself out, smiling. "Betcha can't drive one of these."  
Tycho's eyebrow shot up. "'Scuse me? I can drive ANYTHING with wheels. Treads are a joke."  
Snake laughed and sat down over the edge of the turret. "How about a wager? 2000 yen to whoever makes it back to the hotel first."  
"You're on!" Tycho jumped onto the turret of the second tank, unscrewing the entry hatch and sliding inside.  
"Like taking candy from a baby," Snake chuckled, as he began sliding himself into the war machine.  
  
*Screeech!* The squeal of car tires interrupted him, and Snake turned around to see a white Mitsubishi stop before the tank blockade, coming from the side of the blockade that led to town.  
A diminutive little balding man with glasses stepped out of the car, dressed in a dirty lab coat, of all things. He glanced up at Snake, smiled, and then walked up to the side of the tank.  
Tycho popped his head out of the turret to see what the holdup was, and blinked as he saw a nerdy-looking guy clumsily climbing onto the side of the tank.  
Snake glanced at his partner in confusion; he was more used to people running away when he had access to this kind of firepower. "Can I help you?" he asked, turning back toward the man.  
Yoshi stood up on the edge of the tank treads, and smiled up at the officer, his glasses gleaming in the afternoon sun. "Yes, I believe you can. Pardon me." *Jab* with surprising speed and accuracy, he stabbed Snake in the arm with a syringe, quickly filling it with blood before drawing it out.  
"OW!!! Hey, what gives?!" Snake shouted angrily, rubbing his arm, but the little scientist paid him no mind, pocketing the needle before hopping off the tank and stepping back into his car.  
Tycho stared at the scene in utter bafflement as the little genius drove off, whistling happily to himself. "What was all THAT about?"  
Snake muttered darkly to himself as he rubbed his bicep. "Who knows. Though if he's a government guy, they're really getting a little out of hand with these surprise drug tests." He slid into his tank.  
Nodding in agreement (sort of), Tycho dropped into the driver's seat himself, and prepared for the heaviest ride he'd ever had.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma stood at the edge of the roof, the entrance to the stairwell behind him, the open door slapping the frame in the wind.  
On the other side, a carrier stood, its body hunched over and writhing as parasitic vamps crawled and split under its pale, rubbery skin. Its tentacles waved lazily in the air as the wind blew, like eels sliding through rushing water.  
Ranma's pigtail wafted in the breeze, his unkempt black hair waving gently about his face, not upsetting the stone-like expression of his features. Ever so slowly, he began to lift the Pancor Jackhammer in his right hand to point at the mutant creature.  
The carrier sensed the sudden rise in tension, and its tentacles went rigid in the wind, twisting and snapping into firm, solid curved tendrils above the roof of the vacation resort.  
Ranma gently moved his other arm up to hold the shotgun with both hands, the weapon still aimed firmly at the vile mutation. "Now you have to ask yourself one question..."  
The carrier's hunched body slowly stood up straighter, and the long, black tentacles began to move.  
"Do I feel lucky?" Ranma squeezed one eye shut, his aim centered on the mutant's head.  
The carrier's head snapped up, and the tentacles shot forward, stretching and curving at impressive speed to pummel and entangle their prey.  
"Well? Do you? PUNK?!" A grin flashed on Ranma's face, and suddenly, he blurred out of sight, the Pancor Jackhammer having been tossed in the air.  
The black whips of slug flesh lashed about wildly, but they met nothing but each other and the grainy tile of the roof.  
Ranma hit the side of the roof, and then rebounded off it, flipping over a tentacle and then sliding under another to come to a stop in sitting position right in front of his opponent. "Damn, you're UGLY!"  
The mutation saw the streak of energy fade into a single mass directly below it, and raised a thin, almost skeletal hand to the attack, leaking black ichor.  
Ranma caught the hand as it came down, then kicked up with one foot, catching the creature under the ribcage. Using his free hand as leverage, he flipped himself backwards, slamming the mutant onto the roof tiling and putting himself in a crouching position on top of it.  
*Whp-whp-whp* The automatic shotgun twirled around in the air as it fell into Ranma's waiting arms, and within moments, the ring of the Pancor's heavy reinforced barrel was pressed into the carrier's chest.  
"All too easy," Ranma breathed darkly, smirking.  
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* A flock of birds shot out a nearby tree from the noise, scattering their feathers to the wind, which mixed with the sulfuric smell leaking from the shotgun's barrel in the early evening breeze.  
Ranma sighed, standing up from the devastated mess that was once a living, albeit misshapen and unnatural being. "All this, and not a single person to see it. Damn." A video camera would have been nice, too.  
  
Walking to the edge of the roof, he scanned the forest surrounding the hotel.  
"Lessee... Smoke coming from the main road; don't know what that's about. Something... no, two somethings cutting through the forest... I think they're coming for the hotel! Doesn't matter if it's been evacuated... people in the rear gardens... I think that's Tiro!" Deciding that he had to get back into the fray, Ranma jumped down off the roof, making a perfect landing right next to the pool.  
"Man, I know it's been a long time already, but it's great not being cursed!" Smiling, Ranma jogged into the woods to join his companions.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka waved for Sakura and Kyle to remain quiet as she slowly crept toward the clearing, her finger on the trigger of her shotgun. She realized that there was a probability she was walking into a trap, and if she did, she wanted at least one person behind her to back her up (assuming that Kyle, at least, could be trusted that far, which she was unsure of).  
*Crack* "Oops! Sorry!" Sakura shouted in surprise, having stepped on a rather obvious-looking dry twig.  
"Hey, careful! We're supposed to be quiet!" Kyle shouted, annoyed. He loved his sister dearly, but sometimes the simplest tasks were simply beyond her.  
Asuka whimpered, her head in her hand. She desperately hoped that if this Alexandra woman was nearby, she'd be merciful and make their deaths quick.  
The clearing was a clearly artificially-made open circle, with large trees surrounding the outer edge away from the path that led to it. Connecting the trees was a crude rock wall, built loose so as not to restrict the trees' growth.  
The rustle of leaves came from the right, and Asuka's eyes narrowed.  
Whirling around, she switched the Pancor onto burst mode, and aimed at the shadowed figure behind the cage of wood and leaves.  
"This is the police!! Come out with your hands up!!" Came from two directions at once.  
Asuka blinked, and lowered her shotgun. Tiro and Junko stepped out from between the trees, followed by...  
"You!" Asuka raised her gun again, and Mia back up in a panic, waving her hands in front of her.  
Tiro stepped between Asuka and Mia, holding his arms out. "Don't shoot! It's not Alex! It's just her evil twin!"  
Asuka blinked, and slowly lowered the gun. "Seriously?" Mia nodded gratefully, and Asuka frowned. She was wearing totally different clothes, and Asuka didn't think that she'd have time to change while being chased, so it did make sense, in a twisted, everything-around-you-is-just-part-of-a-cruel-ploy-to-mess-with-your-head sort of way. Well, almost. "Evil twin?"  
Tiro scratched his head. "Er... good twin, I guess."  
"Yes... I'M the evil twin, aren't I?"  
  
Everyone turned at the sight, to see Alexandra step out from behind th cage of trees, her arms crossed enticingly under her breasts. "How nice. Even dear little sister came to see me." She smiled coldly, and those assembled in the field felt chills run down their spines.  
Asuka would have none of it, and aimed her shotgun. "Reach for the sky, Tokima, or your ass is grass. These Jackhammers don't have 'stun' settings."  
Alex just laughed lightly, and over a dozen Freedom's Angels stepped out from behind the trees in much the same manner that she did, AK-47s primed. Next to Alexandra, Bei stepped out of the shadows, standing firmly between the officers and Alex, her own weapon drawn (with bullets this time).  
Mia scowled, her own handgun aimed at the sadistic mirror image on the other side of the clearing (Bei wasn't as tall as Alex, so she really made a poor human shield). "You don't have the advantage just yet, Alex."  
Alex's smile held, as did the triggers on everyone's weapons. "Oh?" She took out a small remote control from her pocket, and pressed a slider on it.  
The officers and Mia were just wondering what the heck she was doing, when several loud cracking noised emanated from behind them, of an amplitude that indicated trees being smashed apart.  
Asuka refused to lower her shotgun or turn to look, and merely spied Sakura's reaction out of the corner of her eye once the noises stopped right behind them.  
"Okay... judging by Tekai's pale, scared-spitless expression, I'm guessing that's not just a few more guys coming in behind us."  
Kyle gulped audibly and tugged on his collar. "You could say that..."  
Asuka sighed, and straight-out dropped her gun on the ground, turning around miserably.  
There, just a foot from her back, stood a nine-foot tall behemoth. It was a grossly muscular humanoid, with short, powerful, legs with wide, taloned feet, and long arms that looked to be as thick as most trees that ended in unwieldy hands with four huge claws each. Its entire body was a dark brown, and looked to be covered with a rhino-like, hairless hide. Its face was blank; literally, its neck peaked into a skull, and the entire face was a shiny, beetle-like shell, with no features whatsoever. In the back of the skull, Asuka could make out some kind of metal box protruding from its neck, and a tube that arced down its back and re-entered its skin farther down along its spine.  
"Damn," was all she could say.  
Alex sighed appreciatively. "Ah, isn't it wonderful? Capable of tearing apart steel like styrofoam; the ultimate in genetic monstrosities. I give you: the K-series." She smiled, holding up the remote. "And totally under my control. Now be good, and drop your guns. My assistant has a weak stomach, and these things make SUCH a mess when they kill."  
"Do as she says, guys." Kyle and Sakura were quick to comply. Tiro rolled his eyes as he dropped his handgun on the ground, and Mia glared fiercely at her twin as she did the same.  
Alex nodded as the DAPC and Mia disarmed themselves, then gathered slightly under the eyeless watch of the Ks. "Good. Now line up. That's right." She turned toward her men. "Half of you go back to base. Bei, take Tiro, would you?" Her assistant blinked, then did as instructed, pulling the dreary-looking man from the lineup.  
"What are you going to do with us?" Asuka demanded, casting the occasional wary glance at the colossal mutations behind her.  
Alexandra chuckled darkly. "Why, execute you, of course. You serve your oppressive leaders blindly, taking advantage of the many to serve the few. What else do you do with traitors, but kill them?" She finished her grand speech, and then frowned. "Well, except Tiro."  
The others nearly fell down, and Tiro himself sweatdropped.  
"How come Tiro gets to live?" Kyle whined.  
"Yeah," a terrorist agreed, "he's just as much a cop as the rest of them! Why should he get off?!"  
Alexandra sighed, walking over to her cousin. "She's my mother's favorite nephew. Every Christmas he has dinner with my family, since his mother died. We can't kill him. Besides, he's too incompetent to pose any real problems anyway."  
Tiro's sweatdrop grew, and he shifted uncomfortably in Bei's grasp (for once, the peril and seriousness of the situation overcoming his libido). "Uh... thanks. I guess. Any chance you could let my friends live too?" He asked hopefully, "You know, as a favor?"  
Alex shook her head decisively. "I can't do that. It's my job."  
Tiro sighed. "Fair enough. So, how have things been? You know, overall?"  
She stopped to consider. "Actually, fairly well. You're little department screwed up that oil rig thing, but it didn't turn out nearly as bad as I'd thought. You?"  
Tiro looked around for a moment, and settled on his fellow officers, who were all giving him "You traitor" looks. "Could be doing better. This whole 'being held at gunpoint' thing is kind of a drag."  
Alexandra shrugged in understanding, then tapped her lip. "Are you still single?"  
He chuckled. "Yeah, pretty much. Looking, though."  
Alex smiled. "I know how it is. Oh! Bei! You're not seeing anyone, are you?"  
Asuka watched the smaller woman start in surprise, and then start to panic and stutter. Deciding to at least save the assistant from a terrible fate (and inadvertently spite Tiro), she interrupted. "It would figure that your entire family is as dysfunctional as you, Yamazaki." Though the insult encompassed Mia as well, the government agent understandably shrugged off the comment.  
Alex glared at her, and slowly walked down the line away from Tiro. "I think I'll take care of you first, Miss Takami. And slowly too. Where will the first bullet go, hmmmm? In the leg? The arm? The shoulder?" She smirked sadistically, "Or perhaps somewhere more... sensitive?" Asuka didn't even flinch, meeting Alexandra's cold stare with stony heat.  
Mia growled. "I swear Alex, if I survive this, I am SO not sending you a card for our birthday."  
Alexandra gave her twin a bland stare as she walked over to her. "Hmph. Well, it's a moot point, since you won't survive. While mother will also be disappointed in your absence this year, in your case it's worth it. You've meddled in my plans for the last time."  
"You're such a bitch," Mia muttered.  
Alex twitched. "Whore."  
"Drug-ridden scumbag."  
"Prissy goody-two-shoes."  
Everyone in the clearing (including the awaiting mutants) sweatdropped as the name-calling quickly escalated into shouting.  
"Slimy, diseased slut!"  
"Two-bit, empty-headed sell-out!"  
"Blockheaded, psychotic tramp!"  
"Arrogant, traitorous witch!"  
"Mouko takabisha!"  
"Idiotic, trea-huh?"  
The fight screeched to a halt, and a large ball of blue cascaded over the trees, arcing overhead and slamming firmly into the group of wide-eyed terrorists at the edge of the clearing, blasting them all into unconsciousness.  
The Tokima twins stared in amazement. "What the HELL was that?!"  
"Yo!" Everyone turned at the voice, and saw Ranma, leaning casually against the trunk of a tree as he balanced on the branches, his Pancor aimed at Alex's face.  
"Ranma!" Sakura cried happily.  
"About time..." muttered Asuka.  
"Saotome," Alexandra said coolly. "Just like in your file. Well, not JUST like your file, but still, I'm impressed."  
"Glad to hear it," Ranma said, cocky smile shining. "Now why don't you tell the freaks to back off before I find out if these things are really as good as Snake says they are." He nudged his head toward the K-series mutants, leaving no doubt as to what "freaks" he was referring to.  
Alex stared coolly at him for a moment, then smirked, backing away from the DA officers and her sister.  
Ranma twitched, and grabbed the shotgun with his other hand as he stood straight up. "Hey! Don't move or I'll fire! I'm serious!" A drop of sweat trailed down his brow, betraying how serious he really was.  
"What are you doing, you idiot?! Shoot her!" Asuka yelled. Her own shotgun was still in the middle of the clearing, and she didn't want to make a grab for it while Bei had her pistol handy.  
Ranma gulped as Alexandra chuckled.  
"I think I'll call your bluff..." she started, then raised the remote that controlled the mutants, "and raise you." *Beep*  
"Crud," Ranma mumbled as the Ks suddenly seemed to go crazy, raising their arms in the air in a frenzy and eliciting freakish, echoing growls through the armored face plates.  
"Come on Bei!" Alex yelled, rushing into the forest, and to the helicopter she had kept prepared for just such an emergency.  
Bei did as instructed, making sure to toss Tiro into one of the mutants for feeling her up as she'd held him captive.  
  
Tiro grunted as he fell against the mutant's rock-hard skin, and then looked up as a massive claw prepared to pulverize him.  
"I think I was better off before," he mumbled, then dove to the side as the claw stabbed deeply into the ground, peppering him with rock and gravel.  
Ranma growled at the unfortunate turn of events, and propelled off the tree he was on, kicking one of the mutants in the back and smashing it into the ground. "Take that, freak!" Then he turned to the third mutant that had begun chasing Kyle and Sakura.  
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* The mutation jerked slightly with each blow, and tiny holes sprouted red blood over its body. The shotgun had little effect other than that, though, and Ranma jumped back to avoid a sweeping claw.  
"Ha!! Suck it, freak!!" *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *Thwack!* The downed mutant shot its hand up, swatting Ranma away, and knocking the automatic shotgun off into the woods.  
Asuka and Kyle retrieved their weapons, and quickly brought them to bear.  
"The ONE time I wish Snake was here..." Asuka began bitterly.  
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* The creatures growled angrily as they were peppered with heavy shotgun fire, and the three began stalking toward the two armed officers.  
Mia and Sakura headed straight for Ranma, who was rubbing his head from where it impacted a tree.  
"Ranma! Are you okay? Here, let me see!" Despite his few stuttered protests, Sakura began inspecting his head.  
Mia just whistled. "That must've hurt. I'd get my gun, but I really don't think it'd help. Where'd your piece go?"  
"Damned if I know," Ranma muttered, gently pushing Sakura off of him.  
"Ranma, you can't go back in there! You're unarmed, and hurt!" Sakura insisted, pulling on his arm.  
Ranma watched as the three mutants shambled directly into the shotgun fire, their claws bared. One reached out to the side, and wrenched a tree straight out of the ground.  
"There's no time for this!" Ranma snatched his arm away from Sakura, and took off like a bullet.  
*BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* *Click* Asuka paled as her shotgun emptied its last cartridge into the approaching monstrosity, and it raised its claw to the attack. A quick glance revealed that Kyle was doing about just as well, about to be pulverized with a tree. She jumped back frantically, feeling over her body for her spare cartridges, even as she knew she hadn't leapt quite outside of the creature's reach...  
*Thwack!* *Wham!* *Pow!* The mutant immediately in front of her was suddenly knocked onto its side from Ranma's flying kick, right before its two companions were each stunned by a sucker punch and an uppercut, respectively. The last mutant lost its balance from the force of the blow, and the tree it was carrying fell down, crashing onto its head before it fell to the ground.  
The second mutant thrust a claw at Ranma, who moved to the side and planted two good kicks into the behemoth's bleeding stomach, knocking it back. It countered with another sweeping claw, which Ranma jumped over before spin-kicking the creature in its face, cracking the armor mask. The first mutant tried to stab him in the back when he landed, but he twisted around at the last second and kicked the attacker in the side, causing it to stumble slightly.  
'Damn it, I'm just not doing enough damage!' he thought, though to his credit, the mutations weren't doing any (with the exception of that earlier 'fluke').  
He jumped straight up, and witnessed a tree trunk sweep below him.  
"Um, guys? If any of you would like to pull through and help me out here, that would be great!" The three mutants closed in on their prey, claws and club at the ready.  
*BLAM!!!* One of the creatures' head exploded into a mess of blood and sharp, bony fragments, and it slowly fell to the ground, the small box in the back of its head shooting sparks.  
Ranma blinked, then looked past the distracted mutants to see Asuka's shotgun barrel leaking smoke.  
"Armor-piercing slug shells," she explained, holding up a red shotgun cartridge, "I'll never call Snake a psycho again."  
"Promises, promises..." Kyle muttered, slightly annoyed that he had forgotten to pack any extra ammo, much less armor-piercing munitions.  
Apparently the mutants fully comprehended the danger they were in, as the remaining K-series that wasn't carrying a tree dug its claws into the ground, then shoveled a massive wave of dirt and gravel at the DA captain.  
"Gyah!" *BLAM!!!* *BLAM!!!* The shots went wide, clipping the mutant's body and doing more damage than before, but without any crippling results. It stepped forward into the cloud, and then swiftly backhanded the blue-haired woman, knocking her into the air and tossing the shotgun away.  
"Asuka!!" Ranma yelled, only to calm slightly as he saw Mia tackle his commanding officer out of the air, and take the brunt of the impact on the ground. 'She must be a fair martial artist to-' *Wham!!* The tree trunk slammed him in the side with far more force than the mutant's hand, and Ranma found himself flying into the wall of trees, without the benefit of a save.  
Kyle backed away as the remaining mutants growled fiercely in victory, and headed toward the nearest victim: him. "This isn't good..." Kyle Tekai, master of the obvious.  
Ranma groaned and yanked a rather large splinter out of his leg, mentally promising to impale the freak of nature with his own tree club once he got back into the fray.  
Then he looked back at the battle, and his eyes widened. "Kyle! Look out!"  
Kyle sweatdropped. "I can see them just fine! They're right in front of me!" He dodged backwards behind a tree to avoid a claw, then dodged the tree as it toppled over.  
"Not that!" Ranma yelled. "Just duck!"  
Kyle, quite used to not understanding what was going on, ducked to the ground, and finally was able to hear the sounds of a heavy motor over the growls and wonton destruction of the mutant.  
*BOOOM!!!* The K-series holding the tree exploded into a maelstrom of flesh, blood, and fire as the shell stabbed into it, and Kyle stared wide-eyed as a few small trees fell over and were crushed beneath the weight of heavy tank treads.  
The other mutant started forward, perhaps intent on tearing apart the machine before it could fire again.  
It didn't have to.  
*BOOOM!!!* The monster detonated violently, once again splattering Kyle with genetically twisted gore.  
"Yuck."  
The second tank moved into the clearing, its main gun still smoking.  
Sakura and Asuka stared in wonder at the sight, but Mia gulped. "Those are Russian make..." she said nervously.  
Ranma stepped up from where he had landed, and began walking toward the tanks, until a scraping noise indicated that a main hatch was opening.  
Tycho poked his head out of the first tank to arrive. "Ha ha ha! Check that out! I'm not only the first to get here, but I do a rescue too!"  
Everyone in the clearing sweatdropped. The second hatch opened up, and Snake slid out and sat on the edge of the turret. "Don't think so man. The bet was for the hotel. You stopped here."  
"Of course I stopped!" Tycho said, agitated, "I wasn't just going to race to the hotel when my comrades were in danger!"  
Ranma crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't know the way to the hotel, do you?"  
Tycho blushed slightly, and nervously scratched the back of his head. "Well, okay, but I still helped! I deserve that money!"  
Snake shook his head. "What do you think, Captain?"  
"I think you're both idiots," Asuka said, clutching her side as Sakura tended to it. "Besides, we can't stop now! We've still got to find and destroy that facility they're supposed to have near here!"  
As the others were about to get geared up, Snake smiled and raised a small detonator in his hand. "Already done."  
The other's blinked.  
"You can't be serious!" Tycho yelled.  
*Beep* *BOOOOOM!!!* A distant explosion rained debris into the air, and a huge gout of fire could be seen in the distance.  
Tycho gaped. "But... but... when did that happen? I was with you the whole time! There's no way you could have had time to-" *Thud*  
Ranma closed the tank hatch over Tycho's head. "No pointing out plot holes!"  
  
Asuka winced as Sakura finished tying off the bandages, then smiled. "I... I can't believe it! It's a job well done!" She shot a dark glare at Tiro as he stepped up from his hiding place, but it softened a moment later. "I'm honestly proud of you guys. This was a success. Of course, I'd be happier if Ranma had just shot Tokima when he got the chance..." she narrowed her eyes at him, then noticed Mia blinking in surprise, "the bad Tokima," she clarified, "but still, this worked out excellently. Thank you all."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Seras chugged down yet another bottle of tequila as he channel-surfed, glad that he had invested some of the budget for new lab equipment on less-than-state-of-the-art satellite TV (and a mini-fridge).  
Behind him, Yamma rested a dead body on the operating table, and began to cut it open with a scalpel.  
*Click* *And in the national news today, the Yukado Resort Hotel in Okinawa was the center of a small-scale firefight today, as terrorists attempted a hostile takeover of the area.*  
"Hmmm... this sounds interesting," Seras muttered, dropping the empty bottle on the ground and popping a beer.  
Yamma put the scalpel down, and then noticed that the stomach of the corpse was bulging.  
*The Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment, thought to be suspended from duty, deployed itself on the scene immediately. In fact, eyewitness reports place them as having arrived before any terrorist activity was reported.*  
Suddenly, the corpse's stomach burst open, and long thick worm with a large, toothy mouth snaked up and hissed at Yamma, baring its jagged fangs. Then it choked on the alcohol fumes and fell onto the table, dead as the body it sprouted from. Yamma stared, then shrugged and continued with the autopsy.  
*The conflict escalated until a nearby structure was destroyed with several well-placed, high-yield explosives. It is not yet known what the structure was or why exactly it was destroyed, but authorities are positive that it was the explosion that burnt down 60 acres of surrounding forest, and then continued on to burn the Yukado hotel itself down to its foundation. Fortunately, no civilians were killed, though there were several minor injuries reported.*  
"Lucky," Seras muttered before chugging down the rest of his beer.  
*And in financial news, yesterday the CEO of Shiromir Incorporated announced that they will be postponing their executive retreat for another week, as recent economic matters demand that-* *Click*  
"Boring..."  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Terrorists iced: 32 (21 in testing facility explosion; + 6 KO'd)   
E-series mutants crushed: 4  
K-series mutants blasted: 3  
Tanks wasted: 1 (+ 2 captured)  
Complexes totalled: 2  
  
End Chapter 9 


	10. This 'Aint No Christmas Carol

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma. I do, however, own everyone else, so deal with it. And, for the heck of it, I'll also claim to own Christmas. Bow before me! Ha ha ha!!  
  
Guardian  
Chapter 10  
This 'Aint No Christmas Carol  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Rattattattattatta!* *Blam!*  
The Russian commander was roused from his groggy sleep as gunfire echoed outside, and quickly shook the cobwebs from his mind as soldiers around him grabbed their guns.  
{"What... What is going on here?"} He demanded slowly, several nights of fitful rest clouding his thoughts as he grabbed for his automatic rifle.  
Many soldiers had taken up firing positions in the small warehouse that had been converted into a barracks, reinforcing themselves behind crates or against walls. However, looking around, the men seemed as confused as he was.  
{"Are we under attack? Somebody tell me what's going on!"}  
Several of the men stood up on crates and other things to look out the small, thin windows near the top of the warehouse, but each shook their heads when they saw nothing.  
*Bam!* The front doors burst open, and the soldier that ran through them almost had a heart attack as twenty-seven guns all oriented on him.  
{"No! Stop! Someone's attacking!"}  
The commander blinked as the soldiers around him lowered their weapons. {"What do you mean? Who's attacking?"}  
{"I... He's-"} *BLAM!!!* The soldier was blasted forward, blood gushing out his back as he hit the floor of the warehouse. The men paid him no mind, being trained soldiers, and got back into firing positions, aimed at the shadowed figure in the entrance.  
The commander stared. Very tall for a Japanese man, if he was in fact Japanese. He had unruly black hair, and was wearing a plain, brown leather trench coat, similar to the ones favored by his own men. Completing the ensemble, he wore leather gloves of the same color as his coat, and heavy, metal-plated boots that were painted a shiny black. He had something resting on his shoulder... it was impossible to tell what it was, as it was wrapped with brown cloth and tied closed, but it was big, at least four or five feet long, and he held it there easily with one hand. Most importantly, though, is that he held a smoking sawed-off shotgun in the other hand.  
{"Drop your weapon, or we'll fire!"} The commander shouted, momentarily forgetting that he was in Japan, and few Japanese would be able to understand such a threat. It didn't really matter though, as he was planning on gunning the man down anyway.  
The figure stopped walking, then slowly, almost lazily, scanned the inside of the warehouse, his face cold and expressionless. {"Very well."} He let the shotgun clatter to the floor, and then slowly put his package down, leaning it against the wall behind him.  
The commander smirked. {"Ah, you speak Russian? Good! Who are you? What are you doing here?"}  
{"I'm... looking for someone,"} he responded. The pause was intentional, and though the man seemed to speak Russian rather sluggishly, he seemed completely fluent. {"Your other questions are irrelevant."} His hand fished inside his coat pocket, causing several of the soldiers aiming at him to squirm nervously, at least until he took out a pack of cigarettes.  
The commander shook his head, and smirked at the men who looked at him questioningly. {"Let the worm have a final smoke before his death, men. Fire on my mark."}  
Seemingly unconcerned with his death sentence, the intruder slipped a single cigarette from the box, and then put the cartridge back, taking a single match from the same pocket and striking it against the wall before lighting up.  
The soldiers all seemed to tense as he took a deep drag...  
  
Outside, a curious warehouse guard that had been attracted by the faint sounds of gunfire was suddenly subjected to the acoustics of a full-on firefight coming from the building he was immediately adjacent to. Oddly enough, the several spurts of automatic gunfire were quickly drowned out and terminated by a pair of loud single-shot weapons being fired at high speed.  
Confused, and more than a little frightened, the guard ran to the nearest phone to contact the authorities.  
  
The Russian commander paled and gaped in stupefied horror as the last of his subordinates fell right beside him, blood oozing from the single hole in his forehead.  
The intruder looked about him coldly at the corpses of his opponents, the smoke wafting from the two Colt .45s in his hands mingling with the smoke from his cigarette.  
Putting away one of the guns into his coat, which was peppered with holes from the automatic rifles, he took a drag from the cigarette before taking it out of his mouth and crushing it in his hand, letting the ashes settle into the gentle creases of the leather. Then, with an eerie decisiveness, he began walking toward the last remaining soldier.  
The commander snatched his AK-47 from where he had dropped it, but found it wrenched from his hands and tossed away before he could fire.  
The imposing figure looked down on him, his expression exactly the same as it was before. {"You know what I want. Where is he?"} Now that he was closer, and in better light, the commander could tell that the man was in fact Russian himself, the hard lines of his features set in a face like stone. He could also see, with some irony, that the intruder had a golden crucifix hanging from a chain around his neck.  
{"I... I have no idea what you're talking about! Where is who?"}  
The man raised an eyebrow. {"I must admit, you do a remarkable impression of a complete idiot. Unfortunately, I am not such a good actor."} The Colt was pointed at the man's temple. {"Tell me where Igov is, and I will make your wounds non-fatal."}  
Beads of sweat gathered on the commander's brow and crawled down his face, his eyes glued to the muzzle of the weapon. Nonetheless, his eyes kept darting to the man's chest. They had managed to hit him with a few good rounds; how was he still alive? Was he wearing some sort of body armor?  
The mysterious gunman apparently noticed and guessed his question, because he dug into one of the small bullet-holes in his coat with his free hand, and pulled out a warped, spent bullet. The tip had some blood on it. {"Rest assured that it will take more than a bullet to stop me, fool. Tell me where Yuchtzky's hiding."}  
The commander paled even more, if it was possible. Then, ever so slowly, he raised a fist up... and extended his middle finger.  
The figure's expression didn't change. {"I'll take that as a 'no'. Very well."} His finger squeezed the trigger, and the commander's eyes squeezed shut.  
*Click*  
His eyes shot open again, and he almost laughed in hysterical relief as a sweatdrop rolled down the gunman's head.  
Sighing, the man backed away from the soldier and pulled open his trench coat. The commander's expression of relief died quickly as he saw the numerous weapons all lined up and strapped to the inside of the coat, from handguns of various makes, to shotguns, to small explosives.  
The gunman chose a handgun at random, then flipped the safety off and aimed once again at the soldier's head. {"Go with God."} *Blam!*  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Mizu approached her squad captain briskly, and pulled off the heavy helmet and face mask, tucking it under her arm. Her hair spilled out as she did so, and she shook her head to loosen it. As proud as she was to be part of Core, she hated the protect-gear. She figured she might think differently if she'd ever been shot at, but until then, she would have much preferred a simple breastplate piece, like the DAPC had.   
"Captain, we've secured the area and searched the warehouse. There's no one alive in there, and all the corpses are Russian, with military uniforms, weapons, and identification. Looks like we hit a pack of Yuchtzky's goons."  
The captain sighed through the breather in his helmet. "Great, so that loon did manage to sneak some firepower in here. But the question is, who hit this place before we did?"  
"We have no idea, but whoever did it managed to do it without any casualties, or if not, they managed to clean up so that it looks like they did. We found some shotgun shells scattered around the outside, numerous 7.76 mm casings, presumably from the soldiers, some .45 caliber casings, and a single 9 mm. casing."  
The captain blinked underneath the ghastly facemask. "Someone assaulted a group of armed soldiers with handguns and shotguns?"  
Mizu nodded. "That's what it looks like, though we can't be sure. In any case, several of the bodies looked as if they had been looted after they were killed, and some of the AK-47s may have been taken, at least if there was one for each soldier."  
The captain nodded. "Good work Kotetsu. I'll get some analysts in there right away. We're done here." He turned toward the warehouse. "All right people, pack it up! We're leaving!"  
Several Core soldiers stalked away from the warehouse, looking like armored wraiths in their powered body armor. Mizu actually shuddered a bit at the sight, and wondered if she looked just as creepy to other people when she was all suited up.  
The captain removed his own head gear wearily, and nodded to Mizu. "So, we've got tomorrow off for Christmas. What're you doing?"  
Mizu shrugged as she walked through the thin layer of snow, her heavy, aluminum plated boots leaving huge prints behind her. "I'll just go have dinner with my parents, like every year." Then she frowned, as if thinking. "Actually..." she smiled, "I think I'll ask Ranma to come! That'd be perfect!"  
The captain blinked. "Ranma?"  
Mizu nodded. "Ranma Saotome. He works for the DAPC. He doesn't have any family to spend Christmas with, so I'll invite him to spend it with us! It's perfect!"  
She turned to the captain, and blinked as she saw that the man's eyes were wide.  
"He's part of the DA?! Are you insane?! You could be killed!!"  
Mizu sweatdropped, and her expression flattened. "From inviting him to dinner?"  
The captain shook his head. "You never know with those maniacs. Sure, it starts out with dinner, but then you have mutant freaks invading the house, and C-4 planted everywhere!" The man seemed to sincerely believe what he was saying, and Mizu found herself trying to decide if it was amusing or annoying.  
"Thanks for your concern, but I'm sure I'll manage," Mizu muttered.  
The man seemed a bit put off by the tone, but tried to placate her. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't believe ALL the weird stories behind that department, but we all saw the squid."  
Mizu sweatdropped again. "True. I'll be careful. But they're not psychotic menaces like they're made out to be. Well, at least Ranma isn't. I'm not too sure about that 'Snake' fellow."  
The captain nodded. "Well, you just take care of yourself. This Ranma fellow is a lucky guy."  
Mizu flashed a smile at him. 'Just wait Ranma, 'cause you're on my Christmas list!'  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
John Remerick continued sorting through the damage reports wearily, idly chewing on the pen clamped in the side of his mouth.  
{"Yeesh... these guys are a total environmental hazards. First the bay, and now this."} He muttered in English. {"I think there would actually be less damage if we just let the Freedom's Angels do what they want and get away."}  
{"Yes, but we can't let that happen, can we?"} Mia protested, entering John's office without knocking first.  
John frowned as he glanced at the gorgeous brunette. Mia had recently developed some positive interest in the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment, and, for some reason, had started to look into their operations a little more closely and point out what little they did right. Not that they didn't do SOME good, but the DA always left it to the higher-ups to clean up and explain their messes, and it irked him that his assistant had stopped sympathizing with his suggestion to have them all imprisoned, or at least fired. He suspected it was because she learned that her cousin was with that particular squad, though she had spent quite a bit of time talking about the remarkable capabilities of some other guy, Ran-something.  
"I don't even see the point," John remarked irritably, switching to Japanese, "a major firefight occurs, and a private structure is destroyed, and for what? Those idiots didn't even realize that the orders they stole had been invalidated the day before!"  
Mia sweatdropped, and put the stack of folders she was carrying on John's desk. "Well, they didn't really steal them, persay..." she caught the general's "you've got to be kidding me" look, and cleared her throat before continuing. "And apparently the FA's didn't know any better than they did. Civilians could have been seriously hurt!"  
John rolled his eyes. "And the hotel?"  
"Okay, okay. So that got a little out of hand. But I was there! Saotome totally saved my ass, and those K-series could've torn everything to scrap. We owe them one." Mia finished, arms crossed under her breasts.  
John shook his head. "All well and good, but again, what did all that accomplish? I'll show you!" He grabbed the head of his computer monitor, and swiveled it around so Mia could see it before he tapped a key on his desk.  
"These are their profile records. Mr. Ken Yakata's been playing around with his files."  
Mia sweatdropped. On the monitor was a large picture of Snake with a chaingun in one hand and a victory sign on the other. Next to it was all the normal profile information, along with a few unusual stats, such as "total kills", "most powerful vanquished", "percentage of total kills in party", "ugliest mutant wasted", and "remaining kills to beat Sylvester Stallone". Under it all was a digital score counter, along with a kill scoring guide under that.  
"Wow. Impressive." Mia looked at the scoring guide. "'Maulers'? Is that what he calls K-series?"  
John sighed. "That's what the boys that took apart the one with the blasted head named them. These mutants are getting worse and worse. Though I'd much rather have to deal with the mutants than with the DAPC." Another sigh followed.  
Mia patted her boss on the back affectionately. John may have been judging the DA a little harshly, but then, all he ever saw were the complaints about the damage they did. He would probably think differently if he had gotten caught in the midst of it, as she had. Besides, his concerns were legitimate; the DAPC seemed incapable of securing an area without leveling it afterwards.  
Hoping to get the general's mind off his troubles, Mia changed the subject. "So, what are you doing for Christmas, hm?"  
Another depressed sigh followed, much to her frustration. "Working. All my family's in the 'States, and we don't really keep in touch. I could fly down there, but I'd have to hunt down their addresses. Hell, we don't even send each other cards." He turned toward her. "You?"  
Mia bit her lip. "Well, I'm going to my parents' place for dinner." She smiled. "Why don't you come along?"  
John seemed startled. "What? Me? Why?"  
"It wouldn't be imposing or anything, and it'll do you some good to get away from work. Come on!" She punched him lightly in the shoulder, grinning.  
John mulled it over for a bit, then shrugged. "Well... okay, if you're sure it's all right..."  
Mia nodded happily. "Good!" Then she stopped to consider something. "Though... I should warn you. Alexandra will be there."  
The general blinked. "What? How? Hasn't she been arrested already?"  
Mia shrugged helplessly. "I wrote out the warrant myself, but then I was told there was some extra red tape, because this crosses so many departments. You know, local, international, military, and economic. Just a lot of beaurocratic garbage before we can slam her." She winked. "Don't worry, I sent it to the right people. She'll be in our hands before we know it."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Yawning deeply, a lone clerk walked into his office, hanging his coat on the wall before walking to his desk. The desk was cluttered with papers, and a huge tower of paperwork piled over a small box that said "In".  
Sitting down, the clerk reflected upon the dreadful monotony and utter worthlessness of his job. Pushing papers that nobody else wanted to deal with was not exactly rewarding work, spiritually or financially. At his desk could be found the articles that needed to be brought to the attention of people who didn't care. The ideas that over-cautious politicians didn't want to risk, but were too good or valid to throw away. Requests that were too ugly or mind-boggling for a paid decision-maker to think about. And, ironically, warrants for terrorist masterminds that also happened to be presidents of major corporations. They all came to him.  
He shuffled around in the papers littering his desk for his pen, then tiredly stood up to take a paper from the top of his "In" stack.  
"Let's see. What's first?" Leaning his head on his elbow, he scanned over the page. "Uh huh... Battle of Midway... requests for supplies... reinforcements..." he frowned. "Hmmm... date?" He looked further down the page. "Ooh...... er..." He looked up from the page, and his lips pressed into a thin line.  
Then he stuck his hand in the middle of his "In" stack, and jammed the paper in-between the heavy folds.  
"There, I'll just deal with that later." Looking somewhat satisfied, he turned to look at the small clock on his desk. "Still an hour until quitting time." He sighed wearily, then took the next page in his box.  
"Uh huh. Let's see..." A sweatdrop rolled down his head. "Hiroshima needs emergency supplies, medical aid, and experts on radiation poisoning?" He scanned the page again. "A nuclear bomb?" He put the paper down, and planted his chin on his fist as he thought. He looked at the clock. Then he looked at the paper. Then he looked back at the clock.  
Then he got up, picked up the clock, and turned the dial in the back until it was an hour ahead.  
"Quitting time! I'll save this for after Christmas." Feeling an unfamiliar rise in his morale, the clerk collected his jacket and left the dark, gloomy room, whistling merrily all the way.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka took a long gulp from the cup of coffee steaming on her desk, hoping to stave off the waves of sleepiness that threatened to overtake her at any moment.  
If she'd ever been more miserable in her life, she couldn't remember when. Spending an entire night answering questions and interrogations, submitting and resubmitting paperwork, answering complaints from everywhere imagineable, and trying to get Alexandra Tokima and Bei Takana arrested were not activities that promoted easy sleep. Well, not that she had any time to sleep.  
Sighing heavily, Asuka snatched up her pen and signed her name at the bottom of a long letter, right under her very colorfully worded paragraph detailing why the DAPC cared more about saving lives than promoting the economy, as well as helpfully offering the reader a list of places he or she could stuff any opinions to the contrary.  
"Christmas spirit my boot. Bah, humbug." She muttered, placing the final evil collection of wood fibers atop the large pile that had already accumulated.  
Swallowing the rest of her coffee and dropping the cup on the floor listlessly, Asuka left her office.  
  
The moment she walked out the door she was immediately subjected to an assault from an unknown source, taking a small mass of slimy liquid right in the face.  
Twitching noticeably, she slowly raised her hand and then sharply wiped her eyes clear of the foreign substance.  
"All right, who did that?!" Asuka yelled, blinking quickly. The goo was fairly thin, but it still threatened to obscure her vision. Her ears weren't obscured though, and now that she was out of her office, she could hear a fair amount of chatter and laughing from the main office.  
"Sorry about that, babe. My eggnog got knocked outta my hand." She felt a hand gently take a shoulder, and a towel roughly wipe her face clean. She squinted her eyes shut as the thick beverage was quickly scrubbed from her face, and then looked up to see who the perpatrator was; she hadn't recognized the voice.  
To her surprise, it was an unfamiliar, reasonably handsome black haired man who was grinning down at her. A quick look verified that he had a police badge on his chest, but she had never seen him before.  
"All better, eh beautiful?" he chuckled, and rubbed her shoulder a bit where his hand lay. "I'd offer you a drink, but I guess you just had one."  
Asuka sighed.  
*C-click* The man's eyes crossed as he looked down the barrel of the Baretta aimed at his nose, and he gulped.  
"Here's a tip Romeo: DON'T hit on the stressed-out chick with eggnog on her face and a 9 mm. at her hip." Her tone was surprisingly conversational, which belied how strongly she had to resist the urge to pull the trigger.  
Beads of sweat began crawling down his head. "Y-Yes Miss... um... Miss..."  
"That's CAPTAIN Takami to you, dolt. Now bugger off," she snapped. He did so, and in haste.  
  
Taking the towel on the ground and continuing to wipe off her face, Asuka finally got a good look into the main lobby of the HQ. Ranma and Kyle stood by the door to the hall, the latter with a cup of vodka in his hand. In the lobby, Tycho, Tiro, Seras, and Yamma were all mingling and chatting with several men and a few women that Asuka had never seen before. Sakura and Junko were both wearing playboy bunny suits and lingering in the midst of it all; Sakura was busy dispensing drinks to the numerous men leering at her, while Junko had already found a comfortable seat in a police chief's lap.  
She stared at the sight for a few moments, then dropped the towel on the floor and cleared her throat loudly enough for the two nearest men to hear. "Lieutenant Tekai? Saotome? May I speak with you two for a moment?"  
Ranma and Kyle looked back at her, shot each other a glance, and then cautiously approached. Asuka mentally applauded their nervousness; apparently they were learning.  
"May I ask who all these people are, and what they're doing in headquarters?" Asuka asked Kyle directly. She had known Ranma for long enough that she figured he'd never pull this sort of stunt. And she had known Kyle more than long enough to know that this was exactly the kind of thing she'd expect from him.  
The blond man scratched the back of his head anxiously. "Well, Tycho was talking about all these buddies he had on the local forces. You know, the regular guys on the streets and all. Anyway, he said that their HQ wasn't big enough for the Christmas party they wanted to throw, so he offered to let them all come over here. Just for today. They're very grateful. Think of it as a P.R. move." Asuka raised her hand to halt him, as it looked as if Kyle was starting to babble.  
"I'd rather think of it as something I don't have to deal with," she lowered her hand and began picking at some egg nog that was still stuck on her bangs. "Just make sure you clean up afterwards. Is Snake gone already?"  
Ranma nodded. "He said that he was going to visit his family in America. He left this morning."  
She frowned. "That's odd. The tanks he had parked outside were gone. If he's gone, what happened to them?"  
"He told me that he sent them to some friends of his that would know what to do with them."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Okay, so we've finally got the magnetic drivers working properly, but now it's overheating?" The scientist ran a hand through his hair, sighing in frustration.  
The other man, a weapons engineer, nodded. "Yeah, we've got all the kinks out of the firing system, but now that were using the new tri-lock chargers, it's generating way more heat than we expected. We're going to have to totally rework the cooling system."  
The scientist grimaced. "Okay. I'll call Tama-" *Bzzzzt!*  
The two men blinked, then turned toward the main door to the lab.  
Exiting the lab area, they punched a code into a small console, and the large, heavy doors slowly opened, revealing a short man in a blue uniform.  
"I've got some packages here for Yuhamaro and Tonoda of Fat Man Weapons Contractors. That you two?"  
They nodded slowly, and the man jabbed his thumb off to the side.  
Lying in the parking lot were two large tanks, wrapped tightly in red foil wrapping so that the turret shape was clear and visible, and tied with a large white ribbon.  
"Whoa! I wonder what those are!" Tonoda breathed.  
"That's why I'm the scientist," Yuhamaro remarked, and took the clipboard. "A present? From... Hey Tonoda!! These are from Snake!!"  
The other man yanked hard on the ribbon, causing the foil to unwrap completely. "SWEET!!! It's an IS-2! This thing is a classic!"  
Yuhamaro smiled, shaking his head. "That Snake. What a guy." He signed the clipboard, and handed it back to the delivery man. "Thanks. It'll look great in my living room."  
"As long as it doesn't blow up like that Scud missile he found last year." His companion added.  
The weapons scientist frowned. "Well, he could have taken the time to disarm it. Or at least told me the warhead was active."  
The delivery man merely walked away, shaking his head. "Psychos."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka shrugged. "Whatever. So long as it's not our problem anymore." She stretched slightly. "I'm leaving. I've got to get across town tonight, so I'd better get ready."  
"Leaving?" Kyle sounded disappointed, "but we thought you could stay!"  
Asuka gave him an odd look. "Why would I stay? Three hours of bad lawyer jokes and drinking spiked eggnog until I pass out isn't my idea of a good time."  
Kyle gave her a pleading look. "But Tycho already rented the third bunny costume!"  
The temperature in the room immediately dropped five degrees, and Ranma quickly took a big step away from Kyle.  
"Excuse me?" Asuka's voice was perfectly flat.  
"Tycho rented party suits for all the women," Kyle explained, "and he told me to ask you to try it on and stay a while."  
".................." Asuka stared at him mutely for a few moments, then twitched. "Well, that would be because you're the only one STUPID enough to-" *Pap* Slapping her hip, she stopped speaking as she realized her gun wasn't in its holster. "Uh, stupid enough to ask... Er, wait, where did I...?" She began looking around on the floor around her.  
"So... is that a 'no'?" Kyle asked none-too-cautiously.  
"Of course it is!" Asuka snapped, picking up the wet towel and looking underneath it. "Now go away. I think I lost my gun."  
Kyle blinked in surprise, and Asuka frowned before walking away.  
Ranma shook his head, and flipped the Baretta around in his hand before tossing it Kyle. "You owe me one, man. Lay off the alcohol before you kill off the rest of your brain cells, all right?"  
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. Alcohol doesn't kill brain cells. Otherwise, Seras would be total idiot right now."  
Ranma scratched his chin as he turned to look at the scientist, who had already drank several pints more than anyone else in the room and was earning many gazes of respect and admiration from some of the visiting officers.  
"While there's a huge, obvious hole in that logic, he is a lot smarter than you, so maybe you're onto something." He gave the older man a smile to show that he was only joking (sort of), only to see him nodding somberly. "Uh... right. Anyway, I'll be seeing you. I gotta talk to the captain." Without waiting for a reply, Ranma jogged into the hall, the laughter and chatter fading behind him.  
  
Asuka shot a curious look over her shoulder as she noticed Ranma following her. She hadn't found her gun yet, but decided not to worry about it, since it was obviously somewhere in the police station, and had simply taken another from the armory.  
"Something wrong, Saotome?" She asked, wondering why he wasn't back with the others. Well, besides the obvious; Ranma didn't seem to thrive on that sort of behavior at all, but she still wanted to know why he was following her.  
Ranma slowed down as he approached. "I was just thinking, well, maybe you should stick around for a while."  
Asuka's eyes narrowed, and Ranma waved his arms in appeasement gestures as her Glare of Death began. "Without the suit! Without the suit!"  
Asuka stopped glaring, but still stared at him flatly. "Why should I? I'm finished with the paperwork, FINALLY."  
Ranma shrugged. "I don't know, maybe it'll help you loosen up. Why are you so down anyway?"  
Asuka turned away sharply, her dark blue hair almost lashing out as it followed the movement of her head. "That's none of your concern."  
Ranma took a step back at the coldness of the response, but after a moment, he saw Asuka's shoulders slump.  
"But... since you cared enough to ask..." she slowly turned around, and sighed. "It's just that I'm spending Christmas with my family downtown."  
Ranma blinked. Then he blinked again. "And that's a... BAD thing?"  
Asuka nodded tiredly. "It's a major drag. Tiro's not the only one with some bad apples on his family tree." She shrugged helplessly.  
Ranma scratched the back of his head. True, he'd had more than his fair share of experience with dysfunctional families, but it was hard to imagine anything in the scope of having to deal with a twisted, sadistic, homicidal woman.  
Then he remembered Akane. "Point taken."  
Asuka shrugged. "Sometimes you can't pick your friends OR your relatives. Go figure." She frowned. "So... what about you? Just visiting the family?"  
Ranma blinked. "Uhm, not really. I... sorta left my home on pretty bad terms with my parents. We don't really keep in touch. Or communicate. Or acknowledge each others' existence." Ranma shrugged as well. "Go figure."  
Asuka stared, a bit taken aback. "That's terrible! How did that happen?"  
Ranma sighed deeply. "It's a LONG story. I guarantee you don't want to hear it."  
Asuka cocked her head to the side. "Well, if you don't have anything else to do, you could always come and-" Asuka stopped in mid-sentence, her mouth freezing around the next word.  
Ranma quickly looked to see if there was anything behind or above him, but saw nothing. "What?"  
Asuka's mouth moved a few times, and then she shut it and turned around. "Nothing! Nothing at all! Merry Christmas!" She shouted, scurrying away to the garage, and leaving a confused Ranma standing in the hall.  
Ranma stared at her retreating back until she was out of sight, and then scratched his head. "Most odd."  
*Ssssyah-* *HIC!* *-sss...*  
Ranma turned around at the noise, and then, not seeing anything, looked down at the floor.  
A snake-sized worm with a mouth full of sharp, jagged teeth writhed slowly on the floor, its eyeless head wobbling back and forth unsteadily.  
Ranma blinked and stared at it.  
*Ssssss-* *HIC!* *-sssssSYAH!* The bizarre creature lashed out with shocking speed (considering its apparent drunkenness), and Ranma's own reflexes seemed paralyzed as it lunged with lightning-like agility.  
*Smash!* Right into the wall two inches to the right of Ranma's leg. It's teeth, that normally stuck out in odd angles already, were driven back into its head from the impact, killing it instantly.  
Ranma's eyes slowly returned to their normal size, and he gazed down at the worm as a puddle of green blood (which smelled suspiciously like rum) gathered under it.  
"I stand corrected. THAT was most odd." With that, Ranma turned around and headed down the hall back to the party, vowing to forget the whole experience.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So I was just saying, Ranma has nowhere else to stay anyhow, so why not invite him?" Sakura poured some eggnog and handed the cup to her brother. "He's already staying over our house. I don't mind cooking dinner for one more person."  
Kyle shrugged. "I guess it'd be alright. Though he might have plans, don't you think??"  
Sakura stopped in the middle of pouring herself a cup. "You think so?"  
Kyle took a sip of eggnog, then shrugged again. "If he doesn't already, he probably will soon. Hi Mizu!"  
Sakura whirled around, knocking over the half-filled cup as she turned to glare at the woman waving across the room.  
Ignoring the heated gaze, Mizu weaved through the sparse crowd of police officers and walked up to the pair with a smile.  
"Hello. I was just looking for Ranma. Do you know where I can find him?"  
Sakura turned sharply toward her brother. "As a matter of fact, I was just about to go look for him myself. Where did he go, Kyle?"  
The blond man watched as Mizu shot a fierce look at his sister, and then she too turned toward him.  
"Er... I saw him walking after the Captain a little while ago. He might be in the garage."  
Both women stopped for a moment to consider the significance of Ranma following Asuka, and just as quickly decided that it wasn't important. As one, they turned around and started walking briskly toward the garage.  
Mizu frowned as they passed into the center of the party, glancing over at her competitor. Then she quickly lashed her foot out to the side, tripping Sakura, who yelled in surprise as she fell flat on her face.  
"Ow! Hey! Come back here!" Sakura yelled, growing increasingly furious as Mizu didn't even turn around to look at her.  
Several of the officers had noticed what happened, and one kneeled down next to the scantily-clad woman. "Hey, are you okay?"  
Sakura looked up at him from where she was lying on the floor, then reached out and grabbed a walkie-talkie hanging off his waist.  
"Hey, what're you-"  
Sakura ignored the man as she hurled the item with uncanny accuracy at her target.  
*Thwack!* "Gyah!" Mizu pitched forward as the heavy object bashed into her head, and barely managed to keep her balance by grabbing onto Yamma, who happened to be standing hearby.  
"You little brat! I'm gonna rip that fluffy tail off of you and shove it down your throat!"  
Sakura growled fiercely, standing up slowly. "Oh yeah? Try it, and I'll tear out that ugly hair of yours and strangle you with it!"  
The gathered officers all stared wide-eyed as the two women charged each other, punching and kicking as they fell to the ground in a heap of flailing limbs.  
One of them turned to Tycho. "Man, you guys always throw the best parties!"  
"Ow! Stop biting, you top-heavy bimbo!"  
"When you quit with the nails, slut! Ack!"  
On the sidelines, the guys began taking bets and forming cheering sections.  
"C'mon bunny-girl! Get her!"  
"New chick! New chick!"  
"Go blondie! Daddy needs a new CD player!"  
"Attack the costume! Go for the straps on the sides! Come on!"  
  
Ranma walked into the room, his hands in his pockets. He immediately noticed that the guests were gathered in a large circle around something in the middle of the room, but paid it no heed, walking right up to Kyle.  
"Hey man, I'm gonna leave now... you having your family over for Christmas?"  
Kyle nodded, giving Ranma a moment of attention away from the fight. "Yep. You staying for dinner?"  
Ranma shook his head. "Nah, it's all right. I'll stay in a hotel tonight, so don't wait up for me."  
Kyle nodded absently. "Got it. See ya, man."  
Ranma noticed that the lieutenant didn't even take his eyes off the disturbance in the middle of the room this time. Next to him, Junko shook her head.  
"Sakura's technique is pretty good. She's already managed to rip Mizu's pants down. Though she'll probably lose the shoulder strap to the costume soon."  
Ranma stared at the redhead for a moment, then hopped up onto the table Kyle was leaning against and looked into the fray.  
"Augh!! Stop it! You're tearing my shirt!"  
"Oof! Eat it, slut!" *Rip*  
"And there goes the strap," Junko noted.  
"And Mizu's shirt," Kyle added. A number of wolf whistles erupted from the crowd.  
Ranma teetered a bit from where he was crouching on the table. *Thud*  
Getting off the ground, he turned toward his co-workers. "What's going on? Why are they fighting?"  
Kyle rolled his eyes. Junko smiled, then pinched Ranma's cheek. "Awww... you're cute when you're clueless, you know that?"  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Right. Sure. I'm leaving. See you guys." He turned around without another thought, and began walking toward the exit.  
"Tiro's got a video camera! Do you want a copy of the tape?" Junko called out.  
Ranma stopped as he opened the door. "Can't you just tell me who won?"  
Junko blinked, then smiled again. "Aww... so innocent, too. Maybe I should fix that later."  
Ranma stared for a moment, wondering what that was supposed to mean. "Whatever. Bye." Giving up, Ranma opened the door and exited the building.  
_________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"And so the deconstruction toxins break down the inherent biogenetic structure, allowing for genetic reconstruction based on either properly homogenized DNA samples or genetic grafting, which involves the DNA modules that Project Mobius has been creating. Genetic grafting is an extremely complicated process that allows DNA to be manipulated to an extent never before imagined, due to the complications involved when dealing with nucleic acids. Genetic grafting using modules allows us to bypass many of the complications of direct bioengineering, as well as giving us far more control over the continual mutations that the subjects undergo."  
Bei's pen was a blur as she struggled to keep up with the lecture on her notepad. Many sheets of paper already folded over the top of the pad indicated how long she had been at it already.  
Yoshi smirked at the woman beside him, impressed despite himself. He had felt sorry for the poor girl at first, as monitering him was no simple (nor enjoyable) task. She had proven very diligent, however, and had written down everything he'd said, as well as mentioned everything that seemed unnecessary or wasteful as he gave her the tour of the lab facility.  
Bei, for her part, was tired, irritated, and extremely confused. She had managed to get down everything Yoshi had said, but she still had a few long nights with an unabridged dictionary ahead of her before she'd be able to understand the specifics of what Yoshi had told her. "Okay. Now what about this area though? This equipment looks a little different from the other stuff." Never mind that all the equipment in this particular lab seemed more precise and varied than that of Wraith's laboratories.  
'Why did he want this building anyway? He already has plenty of lab space. Ms. Tokima should've given it to Yuchtzky.'  
Yoshi adjusted his glasses. "Ah. That is some older equipment I obtained from some American labs."  
Bei raised an eyebrow after she made the appropriate notes. "What's it for?"  
Yoshi shrugged. "Stuff."  
Bei nodded and wrote that down. Then she blinked as she read what she'd written. "'Stuff'? What do you mean, 'stuff'?"  
"Let's just say there's some controversy surrounding the subject." Yoshi confided, taking out a small vial and placing it on a lab table. "It's getting late. I think I'll shut down for the night."  
He began walking toward the exit, paying no heed to the young woman he left behind. Bei blinked at his back, then followed.  
"That's it? Aren't there any T-virus vats in here?"  
"None," Yoshi answered immediately. "This area isn't nearly secure enough to hold virus samples. Or the new mutagens."  
Bei stopped. "New mutagens?"  
Yoshi nodded. "Sintek technology. Originally their mutation processes were incompatible with our most efficient genetic grafting techniques. I think I managed to meet halfway on it."  
Bei wrote his words down slowly. "Okay..."  
Yoshi stepped into a sterilized airlock, and Bei hurried into it behind him as the glass doors closed with a hiss.  
A thin gas filled the small chamber, flowing over its two occupants before being sucked into air vents in the ceiling. A red light next to the exit door beeped, and turned green as the quick, but efficient, sterilization process finished.  
With another hiss, the exit doors opened, allowing Yoshi and Bei to leave the main lab area.  
"I'll expect that you and probably Alexandra as well will be joining me on the 26th to further evaluate my production?"  
Bei nodded. "Yes we will."  
"Good. See if you can get the Russian chap to come with you." Yoshi said absently, punching his code into the heavy metal access doors.  
Bei blinked. "Igov? Why?"  
Yoshi shrugged as he exited the building. "Education. Competition. Spite. Take your pick. Good night, Miss Takana."  
Bei frowned as she watched the little scientist walk away into the streets toward his car. She couldn't help but wonder what he was up to.  
Then she looked down at her note pad. "Well, if I'm ever going to find out, I'd better figure out what all this means."  
Sighing to herself, she headed in the opposite direction toward her own vehicle.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Junko shook her head in amusement as she looked at the two women sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, facing away from each other. Both had a number of scratches and bruises on their bodies, which, through the given course of events, had become far more exposed than was totally appropriate.  
Sakura wrapped the towel that Kyle had given her more tightly around herself, refusing to look at the woman right behind her. Her skimpy bunny outfit had not been designed to take the abuse of such a battle, and had thus come apart rather spectacularly, giving everybody a free show. The sheer embarrasment of having exposed her chest to a crowd of men almost offset the pride she had gained at having won.  
Mizu seethed as she gripped the towel wrapped around her more tightly. She had gotten off much easier as far as exposure, as she had only been stripped down to the point where her undergarments were clearly visible. This was, conversely, offset by the fact that Sakura had managed to wrestle her into a choke hold until she had given up. How could a worthless nitwit like that have beaten her? Clearly Sakura was more experienced at this sort of fighting, but it still irked her greatly that she had lost to someone who was reportedly worthless in combat.  
Junko stared at the two fuming women for a few more moments, then turned toward her fellow officers. The guests had already left, having collected their winnings/lamented their losses, thanked Tycho for the great time, and ordered their copies of the video from Tiro.  
"All right," she started, "so... who wants to give them the talk about how pathetic and juvenile they're acting?"  
The assembled officers and scientists looked at each other.  
"I think we pretty much would've done the exact same thing if it were us." Tycho ventured. Tiro, Seras, Yamma, and Kyle all nodded.  
Junko frowned. "Good point. Me too."  
"Well, somebody's got to say something. We can't just leave them there." Kyle scratched his head and looked worriedly at his sister.  
Tycho thought about it, and then walked up the pair.  
"Yo, Mizu?"  
The raven-haired girl turned toward him, blinking. "Yes?"  
"Look, that bunny suit you ripped up? That was a rental. So, if I give you the receipt, would you mind compensa-"  
"Do you wrestle?" Mizu interrupted.  
Tycho blinked. "No, not really. Why? Hey! What're you-" *Wham!* *Pow!* *Thock!* "Ow! No! Not there! Please, no!! Ow! Stop it!! I give up!! Please!"  
The assembled men and Junko winced as Tycho got the living daylights beaten out of him. Behind the massacre, Sakura stared impassively as Mizu vented on the DA's premiere driver, before slowly getting up and walking toward Kyle.  
"I'm going to go change. Did Ranma leave already?"  
Kyle nodded. "Yup. Sorry, but he said he's going out tonight."  
Sakura sighed. "Oh well. I'll be out in a minute."  
Sakura left for the locker room, tugging irritably at the broken strap that poked out over her shoulder.  
The others watched her go, and various thoughts surfaced as they each considered what had happened, and the events leading up to it.  
Junko. 'Feh. This would all be so much easier on them if they'd just get together and have a big orgy with him. Maybe get the Captain in it too. She could use some stress relief.'  
Tycho. 'Lucky bastard, having two girls fighting over him. Why are such gifts granted to the people who appreciate them the least?'  
Seras. 'The thing that drives woman is a mysterious thing indeed. I need more rum.'  
Tiro. 'Damn! Sakura's got such a fine ass!'  
Yamma. 'I'm sure the worm was dead. But still, I'm also sure I saw it crawling out of the lab... hmmm...'  
Kyle. 'Wait... if 'flammable' means it catches fire, how come 'inflammable' doesn't mean it's fireproof?'  
"Uhm, hey..."  
All the officers turned to look at Mizu, who blushed at the sudden attention (as she still had her clothes torn up). She had only been addressing Junko, but didn't know everyone's names yet.  
"Excuse me, miss...?"  
Junko blinked. "Chikiko. Call me Junko, though."  
"Right. Do you have any... spare clothes? These are kind of all I have... and it's cold out..."  
Everyone in the room sweatdropped.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"La dee da dee da... bum ba dum-dee da dum dum daa..." Yoshi hummed to himself merrily as he walked down the street, earning himself a few odd stares at his off-beat tune, but nothing more.  
He always marveled at the complexity of humanity. No other species was so conflicted; so distinct, and with such variations.  
And yet, within that complexity lied a great simplicity as well. None of the people that surrounded him thought anything of him; he was a little man, fairly old, hardly worth noticing. None of them realized the power that he toyed with on a regular basis. Indeed, few of them could even comprehend what he accomplished daily, and not a one could possibly understand his greater designs.  
Yoshi knew that others thought of him as impossibly arrogant, but by the same token, he thought the same of them for judging him. Yoshi was one of a very small group of people.  
Another thing that the geneticist found fascinating about humans was the sheer potential that the common human had, and yet, how nearly all of them would let this potential go to waste, being sapped away with time and age. People were so concerned with trivial things: minor pleasures, money, entertainment, the opposite sex. It disgusted him, to an extent, but at the same time he understood that these men and women never strived to perfect themselves; what else should they do with their lives?  
Yoshi smiled. He was not one of them. Born small and weak, he had long ago realized that he had a special purpose in life. That he had a potential to fill. There were few others like him.  
Yoshi's smile grew. Few others. But they were there.  
"Hello officer. Cold out, isn't it?"  
Ranma turned to look at the little bespectacled man from where he was observing a magazine at a newsstand. "Huh? Oh, yeah, it is." He muttered. "Seems kind of warm for this time of year, actually. We haven't had much snow."  
Yoshi nodded. "True enough." He turned toward the cashier. "Yesterday's paper, please." He handed the man a bill, and took the offered newspaper.  
Yoshi hummed a bit to himself as he looked over the headlines, then opened up the paper.  
"Hm! Another mutant sighting! A 'mauler' this time. Simply dreadful, these things."  
Ranma shrugged as he turned the page to his comic book. "Eh, they're not too bad. At least they're not as ugly as those carriers." He looked over the page, and scoffed slightly. "Feh. I could do that."  
Yoshi smirked slightly as he looked up from his paper. "Oh? They look rather frightening to me. And this one ripped open a truck."  
Ranma snorted. "Not impressed. I could take one any day."  
Yoshi chuckled a bit. "Ah, to be young and brash again. I'm sure you're quite the fighter, but the human body has limits."  
Ranma turned to look the man straight in the eyes for the first time, peering down into the slightly frosty lenses of Yoshi's spectacles.  
"If you underestimate a guy because he's human, and not some 10-foot armored monster, you're asking for a beating. There's more to combat than size and power." Ranma rubbed his nose with his thumb for a moment, then looked back down at the man. "Besides, not everyone has these 'limits' you're talking about." He smirked as he finished, going back to his comic book.  
Yoshi chuckled again, rolling up the newspaper and throwing it into a nearby trash can. "Oh, everyone has their limit. I'm simply glad to see that not everyone aims so low."  
Ranma shot him a puzzled glance, and Yoshi stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk back toward his car.  
"Good day officer, and may you reach your own limit one day. It will be a grand sight to see, I'm sure!"  
Ranma blinked as Yoshi walked away, eventually losing himself in a crowd of people traveling the streets.  
"What a weird little guy..." Ranma shrugged and turned back to his comic book, before he blinked in surprise, realizing something.  
"Wait... I'm not wearing my badge. How did he know I was an officer?"  
  
Yoshi climbed back into his car, and started down the road toward his home.  
"Yes. Saotome is the one. But that was clear from the beginning. Still... I have a long way to go yet before I'm ready for him."  
Slowing at an intersection, he switched lanes and made a U-turn, heading back toward the laboratory near the docks of Tokyo. He was rather glad that Snake had ended up destroying the facility in Okinawa; Alexandra had felt obliged to supply Yoshi with a replacement, and the commute was a lot better, even if the facility wasn't as secure or up-to-date.  
"I will see my dream realized... and then, I will be as a God..."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Alex twitched.  
Igov noticed this out of the corner of his eye, and turned toward her slightly. "Is there something wrong, Alexandra?"  
Alex frowned, then shook her head. "No, I... it's just... suddenly, I felt an overwhelming urge to... slap someone."  
Igov blinked. "I hope you do not get such urges often."  
Alex shook her head to clear it. "No... not really." She glanced at Igov from across the limousine seat, then faced forward again.  
"Igov would like to thank you for offer of Christmas dinner, but if there is any imposition..." he trailed off, and Alex smiled.  
"None at all. It will be nice to have someone intelligent to talk to during dinner for once. My family is SO boring. Really, cousin Tiro is the only interesting one, and even he's not much good for conversation." Alex explained.  
"All is well then. Though Igov also wonders about the multitude of soldiers who run escort alongside us?" He looked dubiously out the tinted windows of the limo, glancing at the pickup trucks and motorcycles that ran alongside it, each transporting heavily armed terrorists.  
Alex smiled again. "Call them... an insurance policy." Alex continued smiling smugly for a moment, imagining what she could do to her traitorous, goody-two-shoes sister.  
Then she turned to her companion, her smile lessening somewhat. "Tell me Igov, are you married?"  
The eyebrow over Igov's organic eye rose.  
Alex smirked. "Oh, don't flatter yourself. I'm simply wondering. Though I must say, you are rather handsome for your age. Did you leave your family back in Russia?"  
Igov stared at Alex for another moment, then straightened. "Igov left family, yes, but not wife. Llydia left me, as well as the rest of the living, several years ago."  
Alex's smirk faded. "I'm sorry to hear that. Accident?"  
"Political assassination." Igov spat. "Igov is Communist. Anarchy is nonsense pipe dream. There are other reasons to fight."  
Alex rolled this over in her head for a moment. Come to think of it, it did seem a bit strange that Igov would fight for the FA's cause, considering his own beliefs. "Ah... do you still wear a wedding band? I've never seen you with your gloves off."  
A sweatdrop rolled down Igov's head. "There are... complications. It is important, so I keep close to heart." He patted his chest for emphasis.  
Alex nodded. "Inside your coat?"  
"No. Igov had band implanted just under ribcage, above heart. It doubles as circuit switch; if heart ever weakens, internals will revive heart."  
Alex sweatdropped heavily. "... I......... see."  
Igov stared at her for a moment, and then sighed deeply, raising a hand to gently touch her cheek. "You remind me so much of her..."  
Alex looked surprised. "Your wife?"  
"No, daughter," Igov corrected swiftly. Seeing the sudden tension drain out of her, Igov dropped his hand. "Igov leave Nadia in Russia, at hands of same people that killed her mother. For that, Igov can never be forgiven."  
Alex scoffed inwardly at that, but kept a somber outward appearance. After all, just because she would gun down her own family for the sake of her ideals didn't mean that she should interrupt Igov's sentimentality.  
"You are... so much like my Nadia..." Igov sighed deeply, and then his lips pursed as he considered something. "Well, actually, Nadia is sweet, innocent girl with no sadistic or aggressive tendencies at all. But you look very much like her." Again, he stopped to look at her, and he frowned. "Well... Nadia is not so tall as you though. She is darker, really. And not so well-endowed." He coughed into his fist lightly as he finished the last sentence, then continued. "But... you give a very certain impression that-"  
"I get the point," Alex deadpanned. Pining over abandoned family was all well and good, but he was starting to ramble. Igov looked embarrassed, and faced forward again.  
Alex saw her father's house as the limo slowed next to the curb, and she again turned toward Igov. "Have you ever considered remarrying?"  
Igov barked a short laugh, and Alex blinked. "Igov is no longer in any condition to love a woman, this I assure you."  
Alex blinked again. "You're not THAT old. And like I said, you look pretty good for your age."  
Igov raised his hand in front of him. "I meant what I said. I am in no condition to love." He flexed his fingers slowly, and Alex frowned. Now that the limo had stopped and there was no noise, she could hear a very faint, low-pitched buzzing sound.  
'Almost like... a small motor, perhaps?'  
The limo door opened, and a grizzled gunman with a cigarette in his mouth poked his head.  
"Good call Tokima! The place is packed with soldiers, all armed to the teeth! Should we take 'em out?"  
Alexandra ran a hand through her hair, and began to step out. "No, not yet. Try to avoid fighting if you can. Bloodstains are SO hard to get out of carpet, and shrapnel is hell on the wallpaper."  
The man sweatdropped, but nodded, slinging the AK-47 over his shoulder. "You're the boss." Stopping to get an eyeful of his boss's cleavage, he straightened and yelled to the rest of the terrorists. "Keep weapons primed and ready, but return fire only! Keep the explosives steady! Let them shoot first!" He stepped out of the way, and Alex slid out of the limousine, straightening her dark red evening blouse and mini skirt before turning towards her parents' house.  
Igov sweatdropped as he noted the two police choppers hovering overhead, their floodlights moving back and forth across the sparse group of armed criminals gathering before the front porch. He could see snipers crouching on the roof, and with his cybernetic eye, he could also detect numerous machine gunners set up in the garden.  
"HOLD YOUR FIRE!!" A megaphone shouted from one of the choppers, "ALL TERRORIST FORCES ARE ORDERED TO DROP THEIR WEAPONS IMMEDIATELY AND SURRENDER!! ANY AND ALL AGRESSIVE ACTION WILL BE MET WITH LETHAL RESPONSE!!"  
"That means they won't shoot first if we don't," Alexandra explained calmly, removing her thin wool gloves as she walked up onto the front porch. "Come on Yuchtzky. Obviously we're expected."  
Sighing deeply, Igov gave a helpless shrug and followed his new commander into the house, trying to ignore the small red dots of laser sights that kept flitting over his chest.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Asuka sighed miserably as she approached the large home surrounded by plush gardens and exquisite stone lanterns. If it were any other residence, she would've stopped to admire such displays of affluence and wealth, but this was not an ordinary house.  
This was the house she grew up in.  
Walking up to the front door, she fumbled around in her pocket before finding the proper key, and slowly inserted it into the heavy lock that adorned the front entrance. Turning the key, a loud snapping noise rang out, telling her that the door was open.  
Stepping through the front entrance, she was immediately assailed by a unique atmosphere of expensive incense that ineffectively masked the smell of marijuana and cigarette smoke. Ignoring it easily, she walked up to the main entrance of the house that lay just past the reception room she had entered. Two overly-burly men carrying poorly concealed, and totally illegal, handguns stood firmly at the entrance, grinning at her.  
"You got an appointment?" One of them asked. "I'm afraid Mr. Takami 'aint seein' people right now. It's almost Christmas, ya know."  
Asuka sighed. "I don't need an appointment. I'm his daughter. Let me through. This is enough of an ordeal without having to deal with dimwitted bouncers."  
The two men glared at her, and one planted his hands on his hips. "You say you're with the family, huh? We'll see about that. But first, I'll take your gun." He began to reach for the gun handle at her hip, when she looked up at him with such a glare that his hand froze in place.  
"You move that hand one millimeter closer to my gun, and you're gonna be dealing with the other end of it, nitwit." The hand twitched slightly, and the guard began to look less sure of himself.  
His companion snarled. "I suggest you treat people with more RESPECT, lady. It's a dangerous world, and if you happen to piss off the wrong people, all sorts of nasty things could happen to you." He adjusted his ill-fitting suit a bit so that his gun was practically falling out of it. As if she hadn't seen it before.  
Asuka's eyes narrowed. "Let. Me. Through."  
The first man had managed to collect his meager wits about him, and scowled down at her. "I don't think your part of the family at all. You look more like a cop!"  
"I AM a cop, dolt." Asuka deadpanned.  
Both men tensed, their glares far more open. "We don't like cops snooping around here. Buzz off!"  
"I'm NOT 'snooping around', I'm here to visit my family!" She growled.  
The oversized idiot snorted. "Beat it, loser. If you wanna get through, you're gonna have to get through us, first."  
Asuka's expression changed to one of complete and utter inward calm. And then, calmly, she raised one hand and opened it up, and calmly raised the other one in a fist. *Pap* Her fist calmly smacked into her palm, and both goons blinked.  
*Smash!* *Thwack!* *Bam!* *Bam!*  
"Ow! Hey! What the hell?! Augh!!"  
*Wham!* *Smash!* *Slam!*  
"Knock it off! Oh!! Uncle! Uncle!!"  
*Pow!* *Thock!* *Bam!*  
"Not there! Anywhere but there!!"  
*Crunch!!* *Smash!* *Snap!*  
"OH GOD!!! IT HURTS!!! PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!!!"  
  
Asuka stood over the two bruised and broken guards, dusting off her hands lightly. "I'd shoot you both, but to be honest, I'm in a much better mood now."  
The main entrance opened suddenly, and a middle-aged woman poked her head out, frowning. Then she smiled when she caught sight of what was causing all the noise.  
"Oh! Asuka! You're here! We were afraid you wouldn't make it!" The woman opened the door fully and entered the reception room, stepping over the insensate goons.  
Asuka sighed. "Hello mother. Yes, I made it."  
The tall, shapely woman walked up to her daughter and held her by the shoulders, meticulously going over every inch of her body.  
Asuka withstood the interrogation silently as her mother let go of her, and then circled around.  
Finally, the elder woman spoke. "You seem to be doing very well Asuka. But then, you must be in good shape to beat our doormen so easily. Please, come inside." She turned around and walked through the door herself, and Asuka slowly followed, hanging her head.  
The guards groaned.  
Asuka snapped her fingers suddenly. "Oh yeah! That reminds me!" She turned around and took the untouched handguns away from the two broken men lying on the floor.  
"I'm confiscating these firearms. If I ever see either of you outside this house, I'll arrest you in the most violently brutal fashion I can manage. And I won't go easy on you like this time, either."  
Both bodies twitched. Asuka nodded in satisfaction, then entered the living room after her mother.  
  
She ignored the increasingly strong smells of intoxication as she followed her mother to the dining room. She ignored the faint white patches of substances that had been spilled and rubbed into the carpet. She ignored the many men lounging around the large house with automatic weapons at their feet, and the unhealthy-looking, scantily-clad women some were fondling in their laps.  
She even managed to ignore the gigantic poster on one wall portraying a cobra entwined in barbed wire.  
Mrs. Takami opened up the double doors to the elaborate dining room and stepped inside, perfectly at home in the criminal atmosphere. "Dear, Asuka just arrived! Tell the cooks to start serving."  
The large middle-aged man looked up from the papers he was going over, and smiled at his only daughter. "Why Asuka! It's been too long! Sit down, sit down!" He turned toward the kitchen. "Yo! Start bringing in the food!"  
Mrs. Takami knelt down next to her husband, and looked over some of the papers he was signing. "Oh, dear, you should also get someone to take care of the reception guards. Asuka got a little frustrated with them."  
The man's smile faded, and he sighed. "Great. More paperwork. No wonder those twits wanted a health plan."  
Asuka calmly poured herself some tea from the pot in the center of the dining room table as she knelt down. "Well, they wouldn't let me in."  
Her father nodded absently as he looked back down at some forms. "Damn, they'll have to get workman's comp too. They've always been incompetent, but at least they were easy to manage. Ever since they unionized, low-level thugs have been nothing but a pain."  
"I know dear. Things will get better." Mrs. Takami moved behind her husband and started to knead his shoulders slowly. "How is the drug cartel doing, dear?"  
"Not very good, I'm afraid. Police have been cracking down on the bigger suppliers in the Yakuza, and all these small-timers that keep popping up have no respect for the big picture. Every day we have to waste a new dealer that's encroaching on our territory."  
He looked up at his daughter, who's left eye was twitching even as she sipped her tea calmly. "You wouldn't happen to know of any leads the police might have on the Yakuza rings, would you?"  
Asuka set her tea down, then sighed. "Forget it Dad. You know the agreement: you mind your own business, and I'll mind mine."  
He shrugged. "Ah well. No harm in trying."  
"Hey! Look, it's the shrimp!"  
"Hey little girl, you here to arrest Pop, or are you entertaining the troops?"  
Asuka turned around to glare at her older and younger brothers as they entered the dining room, one after the other. The older one, Yaji, had blue hair like hers, and had many significant investments in the Yakuza. He was the smarter one. Kora, her younger brother, had black hair, and fancied himself an essential part of the Freedom's Angels movement that her father helped run. He was the stupid one.  
"Now boys, don't tease your sister! I'm sure she went through a lot of trouble to get here without getting shot, and it's Christmas. Just for today, I want everyone to forget their occupations and to just eat dinner as a family." Mrs. Takami finished, looking over her children. Yaji and Kora dropped their heads.  
"Yes Mom..." they said, and sat down at the table. Several servants began entering the room, carrying trays of food.  
Asuka had quickly abandoned shooting dirty looks at her siblings, and silently waited for the food to be laid out. Her mind, however, was in turmoil.  
'Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!! I can't believe I almost invited Ranma here! I can't let him see that these are my relatives! I'd never live it down! Hell, if he did come...' that line of thought trailed off, and an image suddenly appeared of the entire household littered with the unconscious bodies of beaten terrorists and criminals, with bullet holes spread across every wall, and her two brothers tied to the Christmas tree in the living room with strips of tinsel. 'Actually... that wouldn't be so bad at all...'  
"So sis, how's life dancing to the music of the oppressor?" Kora asked conversationally.  
"It's alright," Asuka answered absently. "We got a small budget cut because of collateral damage during all the mutant attacks, but the DAPC isn't suspended from duty any more." She stopped, then glared at her little brother. "Lord knows where you jerks keep getting all those mutants from. What's up with that, anyway?"  
Mr. Takami shifted uncomfortably. "That's sensitive information honey. Like you said, let's not talk about business." The servants continued setting the table and setting out dishes, seemingly oblivious to the conversation.  
"Let's talk about something more pleasant," Mrs. Takami suggested, and then smiled at her daughter. "Asuka, are you dating?"  
Asuka groaned softly at the question, and desperately wished that they could go back to talking about their jobs despite the inherent conflict.  
Yaji shook his head. "I think that's a 'no'."  
Asuka grimaced, and her mother looked at her worriedly. "Honey, I really want you to find someone. It's nice that you're so independent.."  
"Bitchy," Kora shot in just loud enough for everyone to hear.  
Mrs. Takami continued as if he hadn't said anything. "But I can tell you're lonely. I want you to find someone to be with."  
"Someone who you won't shoot in the crotch for touching you," Kora added.  
"Don't give me any ideas," Asuka growled, and Kora gulped a little bit.  
Mrs. Takami smiled. "If you're interested, I have the names of a few eligible-"  
"Mother," Yaji interrupted, "on behalf of both Asuka and those 'eligible bachelors' of yours, I don't think there are any men you can set her up with that she wouldn't feel obligated to arrest."  
She blinked. "Oh. Good point."  
"I never thought I'd say this, but thank you Yaji," Asuka muttered. Glancing over to her other brother, her eyes narrowed. Kora was taking out a small paper fold with some white powder in it, and had a straw in his other hand.  
"Give me that! No illegal drugs!" Asuka snatched the fold away, spilling a thin trail of powder onto the table.  
"Hey! Stop! Give it back!" Kora tried to make a grab for his drugs, only to recieve a foot to the face for his trouble. "Ow!! Mom, Asuka's confiscating stuff again!!"  
She sighed as the last of the food was set on the table. "That's her job Kora, just stop fighting, please."  
"I'll take the gun too!"  
"No way! You leave my uzi alone!"  
The two parents ignored their childrens' bickering, and Yaji quietly slipped the two pistols Asuka had already taken from the guards out of her pocket and into his while she was distracted.  
Mr. Takami waited until the sake had been poured, then lifted his cup. "Well, let's start!"  
"Excuse me #3," one of the servants (who had the standard FA tattoo clearly printed on his arm) interrupted, "but there's a call for you."  
"Who is it?"  
"He didn't give his name, but said he wanted to discuss Yuchtzky." He shrugged.  
Mr. Takami raised an eyebrow, then smiled. "I don't know anyone by that name," he said, winking.  
"Right. I'll tell him immediately." The man left, and the terrorist overlord raised his sake cup again.  
"Ah, Christmas Eve! A night of festivities to cherish what we have, and celebration in the name of what we will have! A night for love, and family!"  
"That means stop fighting," Mrs. Takami offered.  
*Thock* "Ow! That really hurts!" Kora whined, lying on the ground.  
"Good! Now shut up and behave!" Asuka jammed the uzi under her belt, then moved into a normal sitting position.  
Mr. Takami nodded somewhat somberly. 'Figures the child with the most balls turns out to be my daughter. And a cop too. Yeesh.' "A toast then! To the success of the Freedom's Angels! And the creation of a just and free society!" Everyone smiled and raised their cups to the toast.  
Well, almost everyone.  
*Ahem* Asuka cleared her throat loudly, her arms crossed.  
Her father blinked. "Oh. Hmmm... then how about: a toast! To the elimination of the Japanese government and an end to oppression!"  
*Wham!* Asuka slammed a fist onto the table. "Can't we toast to something that doesn't involve the deaths of hundreds of people?" She growled out.  
Her father stopped to consider this for a moment, and then brightened. "A toast! To greed, and the overcommercialization of what was once an important and significant Christian holiday!"  
Asuka blinked. "What the hell. I'll drink to that."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
In a suburb in Houston, Texas, in the U.S.A., a very different kind of family gathering was going on.  
{"Ken, m'boy! How you doing!"} The bearded man shouted, grabbing his brother up into a hug.  
Snake smiled. {"Pretty good, Tom. It's been WILD down on the island!"}  
His brother smiled heartily. {"Well, come on in and tell us all about it, man!"}  
{"Call me Snake."}  
{"I'll call you crazy, Ken! Get in here!"}  
  
And so, after a lot of recapping and blonde jokes...  
  
{"We were totally lost! So then we just keep running this huge path through the forest, when WHAM!!! All of a sudden Tycho sees Kyle about to get mashed by this wierd Hulk clone or something! So he blasts it, but then another one starts coming up to him. So I just pull up right alongside and blast that one away! It was awesome!"}  
{"Wa ha ha ha ha!! That's great! Kelly, come in and listen to this!"} Tom shouted into the kitchen, and a fairly tall woman wearing an apron came in, followed by two children that looked to be no more than 7.  
{"Oh! Hello Ken! Tom didn't even tell me that you came in!"} She smiled politely, and then bowed to him, trying to act Japanese.  
{"Good to see you Kelly, I..."} Snake trailed off, blinking as he watched the two little boys play cowboy.  
{"Blam! Blam blam blam!"} One of them was retreating across the living room, shooting behind him with a gun-shaped wooden block.  
{"Blam! Blam! I gotcha!"} The other was chasing the first, and carrying a real Desert Eagle .45 caliber pistol.  
{"Wha... What is this?!"} Snake shouted. {"That's a real gun, isn't it?!"}  
Tom blinked in confusion. {"Yeah... there's no ammo though..."}  
Snake shook his head. {"That's not the point! You should know better than that! That's dangerous!"}  
The couple stared at Snake, then at each other.  
Snake shook his head sadly and grabbed the little boy's shoulder, kneeling down next to him and gently taking the gun from his hands.  
{"Listen to me kid, this thing is real. You know that?"}  
The boy blinked, confused, but nodded.  
{"Now listen carefully, because this is important. See this little switch here?"}  
The boy nodded again.  
{"This is called a 'safety'. Right now, it's on. You never want to fire your gun with the safety on! If this was a real gunfight, you'd be dead by now!"} Snake flipped the safety off, and handed the gun back to the boy.  
Tom and Kelly stared at him.  
His brother was the first to speak. {"You're a complete psycho, you know that?"}  
Snake grinned. {"Well, I try to hide it best I can. Seriously though, if you're gonna give the kid a gun, at least make sure he can use it."}  
Kelly sighed and walked back to the kitchen. {"Once a year. It's just once a year girl, you can do this."}  
Tom shook his head. {"I can't believe you live in Japan. How can you survive in a place with strict gun control?")  
Snake shrugged. {"It's a pain, I know, but having a job that pays me to shoot at things on the streets helps."}  
Tom snorted. {"I'll bet. Personally, I'll just take the good ol' 2nd ammendment any day."} He turned, and looked at the plaque across the room, proclaiming him vice-president of the National Rifle Association.  
{"God bless America."}  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hmmmm... this one's booked too. Shoot. I didn't think so many people would be in for Christmas. I gotta find a place to stay."  
Ranma walked away from the hotel, rubbing his hands together as he walked. It was already dark out, and a light snowfall created a rather picturesque scene as icy flakes wafted through the streetlights. Cold, though.  
A man in ragged coat walking in the other direction stumbled a bit and knocked into him, grabbing onto his shoulder to keep balance.  
"Sorry about that! Excuse me!" He started scurrying away, only to have his legs swept under him and fall flat on the concrete walk, Ranma's wallet flying out of his hand and bouncing onto the ground.  
Ranma calmly picked up the wallet, then grabbed the stuttering man by the collar and hauled him up.  
"I-It was an ac-accident! Really! I s-swear!" Ranma gave him a flat stare, then flipped open his wallet to reveal his shield. The man stopped talking.  
He took a few moments to look the trembling fellow over, then smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Merry Christmas!"  
The man blinked, and adopted a bewildered expression. "You're not gonna take me in?"  
Ranma's smile didn't falter. "Nope!" Then he reared back his fist. *Wham!!*  
Ignoring the sound of the pickpocket's body hitting the thin cushion of snow over hard concrete, Ranma turned around and began walking once more, slipping his wallet back in his pocket. "Stupid jerk."  
  
Not seeing any more hotels in the immediate area, he made his way to a nearby phone booth, hoping to find one nearby with some vacancies.  
Seeing that it was occupied, he stood outside, taking in his surroundings. Tokyo really was a beautiful city, and at night the lights and decorations that so many people had set up for Christmas made it all the more festive.  
The person in the booth nodded twice, then hung the phone up. Then he turned around, opening the door to the booth.  
Eye contact was made. Both parties' eyes widened.  
"Wolf?"  
"Saotome?!"  
The German man gulped and back into the booth once more, sweating suddenly. This was not good. He had been caught off-guard, and was in no position to fight.  
Ranma blinked, then frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.  
Steeling himself, Wolf slowly reached into his back pocket with his right hand and closed his fingers around a butterfly knife. At this range, it would be foolhardy to draw a gun, and Ranma was probably more effective without one anyway. If he could just get in one good cut, then he might be able to escape.  
Wolf stood with his back pressed against the phone, waiting anxiously behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses.  
Ranma stood impatiently with his arms crossed. After a few seconds of this, he started tapping his foot.  
Wolf growled slightly. "Make your move."  
Ranma blinked. "How? You're in the way."  
Wolf's concentration shattered. "Huh?"  
Ranma sighed in frustration. "Look, are you gonna make another call, or what? Other people need to use the phone too, ya know!"  
*Thud!* Wolf hit the ground face-first, tumbling out of the booth in the process.  
Ranma stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. "Whatever." Stepping over the German mercenary, he started thumbing through the phone book.  
"Lessee... Hamiki? Nah. Yokoro? Not my first choice... ah, here we are! Let's see now..." Ranma picked up the phone and put in some money.  
Wolf watched all this from his position on the ground, and began to slowly sneak away. After a few moments, however, it became clear that Ranma had forgotten all about him.  
He scratched his head in confusion. Why wasn't this man doing anything?  
His curiosity piqued, Wolf walked cautiously back to the booth.  
"There are no rooms available at all? What? No, I won't pay for the boiler room! The garage? You're crazy!" Ranma hung up the phone angrily, then turned back to the phone book.  
"Pardon me. Saotome?"  
Ranma looked up at Wolf. "Yeah? What's up?"  
The German gave him a curious look from behind his sunglasses, but his face remained neutral. "If you need a place to stay, I may know of something."  
Ranma brightened immediately. "Really? All right! Thanks, man!" He hung up the phone, then hopped out of the booth. "So does this mean that we're cool?"  
Wolf cocked his head to the side slightly. "Pardon?"  
"You know, about... well, what you were trying to kill me over again?" Ranma scratched his head slightly.  
Wolf stared at him for a moment. "Money. I was being paid."  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, that's it. So that's over now, right? We're cool?"  
Wolf stared at him some more, then ripped off his sunglasses to make his incredulousness more apparent. "Aren't you... upset about that?"  
Ranma shrugged. "Not really. That's one of the better reasons I've heard for wanting me dead."  
More staring. "Well, if you're not going to arrest me, then no, there's no conflict anymore." Wolf slipped his shades back on, and began walking down the street. "You must lead an... interesting life, if an attempted assassination doesn't bother you."  
Ranma snorted as he began to follow. "You could say that. How about you? What're you doing out here?"  
"...... This and that."  
Ranma glanced at him, then shrugged. "Whatever. This place nearby?"  
"Yes. It's close." Wolf pulled his jacket tighter around himself, and wiped some frost off of his glasses. Then he felt Ranma tap him on the shoulder. "Yes?"  
Ranma jabbed his thumb at a coffee shop. "I'm pretty cold. You wanna stop for some tea first? My treat."  
Wolf slowly removed his glasses, and looked Ranma straight in the eyes. Then, ever so cautiously, he nodded.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Well, isn't this just peachy," Tiro muttered sourly, swirling a bit of sake in a cup.  
"Hmph. I wouldn't need to bring these bodyguards if there wasn't a military presence already here," Alexandra squatted before the large table calmly, her hands in her lap.  
"Bodyguards? Ha! If I didn't have half of Tokyo's SWAT team here you'd gun us down without a second thought!" Mia protested somewhat bitterly before downing her entire cup of sake.  
Igov shifted uncomfortably once again, and pulled the bottom of his coat out from under his legs. "Igov would do much for chair right now."  
John Remerick snorted from across the table. "Live and learn, boy. You're in Japan now." Igov's organic eye narrowed at him.  
Mr. Tokima sighed heavily as he sat at the head of the table. The fairly large room was split right down the middle with him at one end of the long dining table and Tiro at the other end.  
On one side was Alex and Igov, with more than a dozen terrorists standing behind them, weapons armed and ready. Some of them had bombs attached to their waists in addition to carrying automatic rifles or grenades.  
On the other side was Mia and John, similarly backed up by a squad of heavily armed police officers in full combat gear.  
"Why don't you go home to your dirty little drug hole, scumbag!"  
"Bite me, puppet! Tools of the oppressor! We'll wipe you all out!"  
Tiro rolled his eyes. "Yeesh. 'Spirit of Christmas' indeed."  
Mrs. Takami, an aged, but still striking woman in her late forties, entered the room wearily, carrying the turkey.  
"Alexandra, dear, your evil minions are trying to trap the oven with some explosives. Could you tell them to stop please?" She sighed sadly, putting the turkey down. "Really honey, why did you have to bring all these men?"  
Alex glared at her mother for a moment, then raised her head defiantly. "I notice that you don't criticize Mia for inviting these gun-toting government puppets into our home."  
"Maybe that's because they don't have bombs strapped to them," Mia muttered none-too-quietly.  
One of the terrorists looked down at the turkey and licked his lips. "Hey, that looks pretty good. Do you think I could-"  
A SWAT member quickly shoved his rifle in the man's direction. "Back away from the bird, scum!! You wanna eat lead for dinner?!"  
The terrorist growled and pointed his handgun. "You wanna piece of this, pig?! Bring it on! I dare you!!"  
Mr. Takami groaned slightly as his wife finished setting dinner out.  
"This looks real good Mom! You're gonna have to teach me to cook like this one of these days!" Offering a smile to her beleaguered mother, Mia started taking rice.  
"It look delicious," Igov said appreciatively in his slightly broken Japanese. "Pardon, but would one officer get glass of water, please?"  
*Ch-chunk!* "You want ice with that, slime?!" The man growled, his shotgun aimed straight for the Russian's head.  
Igov blinked. "Yes, please."  
"Crushed or cubed, you murderous bastard?!"  
"Cubed, please." Igov said, sweatdropping.  
The officer turned away and walked into the kitchen, coming back a moment later with a glass of ice water.  
"Here's your water, you psychotic cyborg!" He slammed it on the table, and then got back in line with the rest of his squad.  
"Er... thank you."  
The seven people squatting at the table began to eat, and the tension between both groups of gunmen inadvertantly rose.  
After a few moments, John pointed to one of the criminals. "You, with the bandanna. Could you pass the bread rolls please?"  
The man growled at the general and waved a grenade at him. "Get them yourself, tyrant!!"  
John rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm getting real tired of this. My guy brought Yuchtzky his water, didn't he?"  
"Screw you! Die!" The entire room gasped, and numerous guns were lifted in preparation to fire as the grenade was hurled toward the American.  
*Bap!* "Ow!" John rubbed his head irritably, then looked down at the fragmentation explosive. "Damn. It's true. You guys really don't know how to use your own weapons." Mia snorted as she tried to stifle a laugh, and many of the SWAT members started chuckling and pointing.  
"Hey, shut up!" Another terrorist shouted, waving the muzzle of his AK-47, "You guys wanna die?!"  
"Come off it! You'd probably end up shooting yourself!"  
"Yeah! Do you guys even know which end of the gun to point at your opponent? Ha!"  
"I'll bury you!"  
"Keep it up pigs, and we'll blow you all to hell!"  
Mrs. Tokima grimaced. "No, please, wait. Please, let's just calm down."  
Alex snorted. "Oh, come now mother. You allowed this swine into our home. Aren't you prepared to pay the consequences?"  
"How DARE you?!" Mia shouted, "You bring enough explosives in here to wipe us all out, and you have the gall to speak like that to our mother?!"  
"Like you're one to talk! Those aaren't news choppers hovering above us right now!"  
"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!"  
  
Everyone in the room froze, and then slowly turned to face Tiro.  
The man was slightly red in the face, and a vein was pulsing on the side of his head.  
"Look at you people!! Bickering like this!! With guns and explosives aimed at each other!! What's wrong with all of you?!"  
"I just-" Alex started.  
"NO!!!" Tiro cut in, startling the terrorist mastermind out of her defense. "I don't want to hear it any more Alex! I've had absolutely enough of your anti-government, "kill everyone that doesn't agree with me" attitude!!"  
Mia smirked. "Well, I-"  
"NO!!! No more from you either Mia!!" Mia flinched back in surprise.  
Tiro glared at the groups on both sides of the table, then he let his gaze drop. "For pity's sake, it's CHRISTMAS! 'Peace on Earth and goodwill towards men'! Doesn't that mean ANYTHING to you?"  
The assembled terrorists and officers starting shooting each other doubtful looks.  
Tiro sighed, then shook his head. "Alex, look at these people," he said, gesturing to the SWAT squad. "They have families. What are they doing here? They're decked out in body armor, toting automatic weapons, and facing off against soldiers who want nothing more than to see them dead on CHRISTMAS, all in the name of duty. They should be at home with their own families, eating their own food. But instead they're here, jabbing guns at people from across a dinner table." The SWAT members looked at each other, and slowly started lowering their weapons sadly. One sniffed, and wiped a tear from his eye.  
Alex looked hesitantly at the police officers, appearing a bit ashamed despite herself.  
Tiro turned to his other cousin and gestured to the criminals against the wall.  
"Mia. Look at these people. Some of them have families that still talk to them. And even if they don't, they probably knew of big parties they could attend where they could find cheap drugs and booze! But what are they doing now? They're tying bloody BOMBS to themselves and threatening to press them because they feel their cause is in danger. They don't belong here, Mia. They should be in dirty, seedy dens, getting high and getting laid. But instead they're here, threatening people from across a dinner table." The terrorists looked about at each other, and slowly lowered their own weapons. Many of them began scratching their waists, suddenly more aware of the dangerous explosives attached to them.  
Mia's mouth opened to defend herself, but nothing came out. Closing her mouth, she lowered her head toward her plate.  
Tiro's gaze swept the room. "Fellow officers! Unwashed gunmen! I beseech thee! Let us, for just one night, forget this bloody quarrel and join hands together in brotherhood! Can't we all just... get along?"  
*Clack* One of the SWAT members dropped his automatic rifle. "I was supposed to be at home tonight. My son *Sniffle* was going to sing us a Christmas carol *Sniff* that he had memorized for choir."  
*Bap* *Bump* Two grenades hit the floor after being dropped from leaden fingers. "I already missed visiting hours at the prison tonight. I promised *Sniffle* my brother that I'd sneak him in some dope. I was going to *Hiccup* t-tell him that we were making progress, and that he w-would *Sniffle* s-soon be free."  
The two men looked at each other for a moment, and then burst into tears, running into each other's arms in a tearful embrace.  
A smile slowly spread across Mrs. Tokima's face, matching the one that was already on Tiro's. All around her, soldiers were dropping their weapons onto the floor and disarming their explosives. "Thank you so much, Tiro. Now, I think I have enough food for everyone, if some of you don't mind eating instant ramen."  
One terrorist chuckled. "Heh. Don't eat 'nothing else."  
A SWAT member smiled. "Ha! Neither do I!"  
The two men looked at each other for a moment, then laughed out loud.  
And as conversations started amongst the different combat groups, Tiro sat back down, contentment spread across his features. "God bless us. Every one."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma sipped his tea contently, feeling the liquid warmth wash down his throat and into his stomach. Sighing happily, he put down his cup, then looked up into the stony, concealed image of his companion.  
"So, what's up? You're not still killing people for money, are you?"  
Wolf frowned. "No. No, I'm not. I'm earning some money acting as a bodyguard for some... less than reputable people."  
Ranma frowned. "Hey man, why do you do that sort of stuff? I mean, it seems to me you're not really that bad a guy. I can tell."  
Wolf snorted, but smiled. "There is some wisdom in watching for a 'wolf in sheep's clothing'."  
Ranma snorted in return. "You 'aint dressed like no sheep."  
The German shrugged. "True enough. I don't like the work much either, but unfortunately, my talents aren't exactly in high demand in the civil, law-abiding sector of Japan. There are other things I could do, I'm sure, but I need the money."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow.  
Wolf frowned again, then took a sip from his tea. "It's not for me, either. I have two sisters back in Berlin who cannot support themselves easily, and I send them as much money as I can spare each year." He took another sip of his tea, then set it back on the small table. "Unfortunately, I have not done so well this year." He smirked. "For the first time, I've failed to eliminate a target."  
Ranma chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Well, sort of." He put his hand down, and noticed that Wolf wasn't looking at him any more, but staring into space (though it was hard to tell when he had his shades on).  
"Every year, at this time, I always remember..."  
Ranma blinked. "Remember what?"  
Wolf sighed. "When I was young, me and my family lived in the half of Berlin controlled by the Soviet Union. The Soviets had ruined our city, and the rich were driven out into the streets while the poor found themselves barely able to support themselves, much less become affluent. My father had been the son of a rich nobleman before Hitler's Third Reich fell to pieces around him, and the Soviets killed my grandfather before forcing my father out of his estate."  
Ranma blinked at the beginning of what seemed to be a long story, and pushed his tea aside.  
"When the Berlin wall fell, my father was ecstatic. Ever since, he had been trying to regain nobility, but inevitably failed. He was a nobleman, used to having things handed to him, and then used to being given a task without any chance for improvement or advancement. He didn't adapt so well to earning wealth. However, he was obsessed with becoming rich, and soon convinced my mother as well of its necessity. But she was no more adept at business than he was. So, other measures had to be taken." Wolf's voice took on a bitter note, and Ranma blinked.  
"Okay... so, what does this have to do with Christmas?"  
Wolf sighed, and slowly took off his glasses, once more staring into space. "It was the day before Christmas Eve that my youngest sister, Katrina, was to meet her betrothed. A nobleman, of course, and one that my mother had taken much time and effort to reach. She had wanted to engage the older of my younger sisters, Arial, but the young man had taken a 'special interest' in Katrina particularly." A bit of anger entered his voice, and Ranma leaned in a little closer.  
"Katrina was a fragile thing, born weak and sickly, but with a gentle beauty and love of life that made others envy her despite their good health. Arial escorted Katrina to the mansion that night. And before the night was over, she had carried Katrina back to our house, crying." Wolf stared down at the tacky colored tile of the coffee shop, and his entire body shook slightly.  
"That... that monster had been quick with introductions, and even quicker to carry away Katrina to his room. Arial had said that she heard him yelling at Katrina from his bedroom, and when she had entered the room herself, she had seen him strike Katrina repeatedly, yelling about obedience and gratitude. He had tried to force himself on her, and was apparently displeased when she resisted as much as she could. Arial carried her back in sobs, and immediately asked me to beat the man."  
Ranma was totally engrossed in the story now, and let his forgotten teacup grow cold on the edge of the table.  
"My parents... they did not react well. My father simply erupted in anger. Anger at the young man. Anger at Katrina. Anger at Arial and the Soviets and Germany and whatever other forces seemed to have a hand in keeping him in poverty. My mother was more coherent in her concern, and tearfully begged Katrina to give the boy another chance, to try and get the marriage to work. Arial was furious."  
"Were you?" Ranma interrupted.  
Wolf was startled out of his story, as if remembering that there was someone else there. He blinked a few times, then looked away again, looking a little less sure of himself.  
"I did not react much. I wasn't sure how to. I merely stood there, listening to father's rants, mother's pleas, Arial's yells, and Katrina's quiet sobs. Then he arrived."  
Wolf looked back at Ranma, scratching his chin. "The young nobleman came to apologize for his actions, and offered to take Katrina back. However, he also requested an apology from Katrina, for defying him so openly and causing such a disturbance in his home."  
His expression darkened. "Mother and father were all gracious smiles for the young man, and quickly agreed that Katrina should apologize and everything would be fine. Arial looked at the scene horrified, and screamed at our parents to stop what they were doing."  
Sighing deeply, the mercenary rested an elbow on the small table and propped his head on it. "In the end, it was me who Katrina fled to, holding my arm and staring at the man with fear. He walked up to me calmly enough, and asked to have his bride back."  
"What'd you do?" Ranma asked.  
Wolf sat up again. "I broke his arm."  
Ranma blinked.  
"And then, as he lay on the ground shrieking in pain, I told him this: if he ever spoke to my family again, I would break his other arm. If he spoke to Katrina in particular, then I would break both his legs. And if he ever touched Katrina again... I would kill him."  
Ranma whistled. "Wow. That's pretty rough."  
Wolf shrugged. "On Christmas Eve, I waited atop a neighbor's roof, practicing with my throwing knives. I knew that the man would see me jailed, or worse, for what I did. However, he did not heed my warning."  
He took a butterfly knife out of his pocket, and twirled it around in his hand, flipping it open to bare the stainless steel blade. "With bodyguards at his back, the nobleman entered my home with his arm in a cast, yelling about how he had come to claim his wife. Arial tried to drive him away, but my parents held her back, afraid for her safety. He found Katrina, dictated when she would return to his estate, and when they would begin planning the wedding. When she refused him, he grabbed her by the arm..."  
Ranma leaned over the table a bit, hanging onto every word.  
"Then he stopped. I could see it all, as I was looking straight into the room. He stopped, shuddering, as if death itself had touched him, and snatched his hand away from my sister. And then, as if just realizing what he had done, and what the consequences would be, he left the house without further pursuing the matter."  
Wolf flipped the knife closed in his hand. "That man was found dead on Christmas day in a ditch, with all four limbs broken. Out of respect for his grave, as well as fairly obvious legal reasons, I will not speak his name."  
Ranma stared at the man before him, a bit overwhelmed. "Dang... I don't think they're gonna make a song out of that one."  
Wolf snorted. 'Why did I just tell him this?' He thought. 'It was good to have someone to talk to, but why this man?'  
Ranma tapped his tea cup. "Well, the tea's cold. How about we get to this hotel you were talking about?"  
The German stared at Ranma for a moment, his green eyes searching Ranma's blue ones. Then he got up, slipping his sunglasses back on. "Yes. Let's go."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Ah, this is nice, isn't it dear? Having the family all together again?"  
#3 nodded and held his wife close as they watched over their children. "Yeah. Remember when they were little? Every Christmas Asuka and Kora would start fighting over toys, and Yaji would end up taking them all after they fought themselves into exhaustion?" Mrs. Takami nodded, giggling.  
"Damn it Asuka! Give me back my uzi!" Kora dove for his sister, who kicked him in the stomach at his approach.  
"No way! Shut up and back off or I'll arrest you!"  
Behind the pair of fighting siblings, Yaji knelt by the tree, cleaning the two confiscated handguns that he'd stolen before dinner.  
"Well, thank God that's all changed," Mr. Takami deadpanned.  
*Whack!* *Pow!* Asuka yelped as her little brother managed to punch her in the shoulder, then growled fiercely. "That does it!!" *Wham!* Before Kora could decide whether to fight or flee, Asuka hit him with a hammer fist to the shoulder, and tackled him onto the ground. *Click*  
Kora's eyes widened as he realized there was now a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. "MOM!!! Asuka's arresting me!!"  
"Asuka, I know your brother has a warrant out for him, but could you please let him out of the handcuffs?"  
Yaji chuckled as he heard the exchange, but didn't turn around. Kora could take care of himself. And even if he couldn't, that was no concern of his.  
*C-click!* His eyes widened as he felt cold metal press into the back of his neck.  
"Brother dear, would you hand me those illegal weapons before I end up spraying that wonderful brain you were gifted with all over the living room? Please?"  
Beads of sweat poured down Yaji's brow, and he gulped loudly, sliding the weapons across the ground to his little sister.  
"Well... okay, so this part is kind of different," Mr. Takami admitted.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"-TWO TURTLEDOVES, AND A PARTRIIIIIIIIIDGGGGGGGGGE IN A PEEEEEEEEAR TREEEEEEEEE!!!" Igov and John collapsed in chuckles as their breath ran out, falling onto the large couch in the living room of the Tokima estate.  
John snickered. "That accent is pretty bad, you know? You're a terrible singer!"  
Igov laughed heartily. "At least Igov has accent to blame! What is your excuse?"  
  
Across the room, terrorists and police officers were chatting amongst each other, drinking eggnog and eating cookies (which had been baked by the same two terrorists who had rigged the oven to blow).  
Mrs. Tokima was seated next to Tiro, and lamenting over his marital status while giving him an endless stream of advice on women and relationships. Ironically, Tiro was handling the situation with decidingly less grace than he had the previous scenario at dinner.  
  
Alexandra looked across the room at her twin, considering. Then, taking a deep breath to steel herself, she walked stiffly to the other side of the room, a thin, wrapped package under her arm.  
"Mia..." Mia turned to face her terrorist counterpart, and blinked when she saw that Alex was holding a package out to her.  
"I... I wasn't going to give this to you... but I prepared it just in case..." though she tried to look nonchalant while saying it, Mia was touched to see some small measure of actual sentimentality seep through her iron facade.  
Tearing open the package, it turned out to be a manilla folder. Mia opened it up, and her eyes widened at what she saw.  
"This is incredible! A complete file on #2! And enough evidence to put him away for good! Alex! I... I don't know what to say..."  
"SAY that you won't reveal the source of this information," Alex spat bitterly. "Treason for the sake of giving! Bah! I should've just..." she trailed off as Mia took a small, thin package out of her pocket and held it out to her, smiling faintly.  
Alexandra took the present curiously, then ripped it open to reveal a Christmas card, with a small plastic card inside, along with a note.  
She gasped. "This... this is the location, access code, and key card to the West Tokyo ammo dump! This will save our forces millions!"  
Mia shrugged uncomfortably. "Well, I mean, it's nothing special. Hell, we mostly stock it with stuff we pick up from you guys after raids and whatnot, but it's something, I guess."  
She blinked as she realized that Alex was smiling at her. Not smirking, or smiling in that licentous "Queen seductress" way, but just smiling.  
She smiled back. "Merry Christmas Alex."  
"You too, Mia. You too."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hey Sakura, you out here?" Kyle closed the sliding glass door behind him as he walked out onto the back patio, seeing his sister leaning against the wall of the house.  
"Hmm. It's so pretty, don't you think?" Kyle looked out toward the city as she was doing, and smiled softly. The lights may have blinded them to the stars, but the city itself was sight to behold.  
Sakura sighed. "I wish Ranma was here. I wonder what he's doing right now."  
Kyle shrugged and leaned up against the house next to Sakura. "Got me. Probably just sleeping in some little hotel somewhere. Personally, I'm more interested in what Tiro's doing."  
Sakura shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't seen any huge explosions, so it can't be that bad."  
Kyle chuckled. "Well, I'd like to think that just for one day, this day, two people who hate each other can meet and eat a meal without blowing something up."  
Sakura smiled and leaned against her brother's arm. "That is a nice thought."  
She continued watching the city, when suddenly her eyes widened. "Omigosh!! Look at that!!"  
Kyle blinked. "What? Where? I don't see... huh?"  
Amidst the bright lights of the city, a speedy shape passed before the shining windows of the skyscrapers. It was hard to make out at their distance and with it being so dark, but Kyle could swear that the shape looked like some kind of big sled, with a bunch of little animals racing in front of it in midair.  
"Oh wow! I can't believe it!" Sakura cried, jumping up and down.  
"Well I'll be damned..." Kyle scratched his head, then blinked as a particularly bright red light flashed from somewhere in-between the skyscrapers.  
"Huh? What's that? Isn't that where headquarters is?" Kyle asked.  
Sakura ignored him, eyes alight with wonder. "I can't believe it's really him!"  
*Fwoosh!* The light of a rocket engine being fired shined through the darkness of Tokyo before the sound reached them, and a bright streak curved upward toward the speedy sleigh, impacting with lethal accuracy.  
A flash of light lit the city for a moment, and the two siblings stared as the sound of a SAM detonation reached their ears, like the explosion of a firework being shot from a distant locale.  
Sakura's eyes grew wide as dinner plates. "OH MY GOD!!! SNAKE BLEW UP SANTA!!! WAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Sakura rushed inside the house.  
Kyle, for his part, sweatdropped heavily as the distant sounds of objects (probably reindeer) being knocked through skyscraper windows reverberated throughout the mighty city.  
"Hmmmm... this is even worse than that whole Easter Bunny massacre." Shaking his head sadly, Kyle walked back inside his house.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Yoshi frowned as a bright flash illuminated the window, and glanced at the window curiously.  
"Hmm... weather report didn't say anything about lightning. Blasted meteorologists, never could do their jobs right."  
Pressing a button, a hatch on the floor slid open, and a large holding tank filled with fluid and a humanoid-shaped organism slid up, locking in place once the tube reached the ceiling.  
Yoshi grinned. "Well, it's not exactly Christ, but we all have to start somewhere, right?"  
Laughing at his own little joke, Yoshi took the vial he had left out earlier, and poured some of its contents into a small dish.  
Then he grabbed a bottle of wine, popped the cork, and took a swig of it. "To creation, and the overthrowing of dead gods! And a merry Christmas to all!" Laughing once more to himself, he put the bottle down, and began to work.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The priest yawned mightily as he stood at the altar, before shaking his head and returning to his study. He was a hard-working man, if not easily distracted, and was intent on keeping the church open all night if need be.  
There were only two people in the church, a poor-looking couple who were huddling together to escape the night's cold and give their prayers to God. Good people.  
*Rrrrk!* The heavy doors of the main entrance opened, and the priest looked up from his bible. Ah, another one. This one didn't look all that cold, though his trench coat was peppered with snow, nor did he look like he wouldn't have anything else to do on Christmas Eve. Big man, carrying a large bundle over his shoulder, with a fairly obvious gold cross around his neck.  
*Thump!* The bundle he carried hit the floor, startling the couple out of their meditations and drawing their attention. The man didn't notice or care.  
Few thoughts ran through his head as he walked down the aisle and took a seat on a bench. He had tried the number, but had been dismissed. He may have to pay this '#3' a visit, though he figured it would do little good. He had a feeling he was looking in the wrong direction. A longer, more patient search may be called for.  
These thoughts as well were banished from his mind as he took a seat and put his palms together.  
'My Lord,' he thought, 'on this most holy of days, I have once again come to you to beg your forgiveness. Once more, I have sinned, and must continue to do so as I purge those who would defile the innocent. This I must do. I have naught to offer you but my immortal soul, black as it is with murder and violence. Yet, all I can do is ask your forgiveness, and seek redemption. Ahmen.'  
Standing up abruptly, he walked to the collection dish at the front of the church and deposited 1000 yen.  
The priest smiled kindly at him. "God bless you."  
The man didn't smile in return. "More that I deserve, I assure you. Good day."  
Leaving the priest with a confused expression on his face, the Russian gunman hefted his bundle onto his shoulder once more, and exited the church.  
"Igov... you will pay for your sins. I swear it!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Wolf snapped his blade open as he looked down at Ranma's sleeping form, laying haphazardly on the floor of the small room he had rented for the night.  
This 'hotel' was reserved for those with Yakuza connections only, though Ranma didn't know that, and probably never would.  
Looking down at Saotome's sleeping form, Wolf wondered how someone so powerful could be so carefree. So casual. So... well... open. Did he not feel the weight of his power? Had he somehow transcended having responsibility for his actions? Or did he simply have nothing to feel responsible for?  
"Ranma Saotome..." Calvin mumbled. "I am a fool. I've said so much about me, and yet, of you I know so little. What are your secrets? What makes you fight? What makes you protect, rather than attack?"  
He looked around Ranma's snoring form a bit, then noticed a worn white square next to his body. Cautiously, he leaned down and turned it over, finding that it was a photograph.  
It was a rather odd one, consisting of Ranma, though looking a little younger, being hugged suggestively by two beautiful teenage girls. There was an assortment of other characters, including some that were very strange looking in nature, but there was one in particular that stood out. Not that the girl with short black hair was remarkable in any way, but rather the order of the photograph. Though she was off to the side, her part of the picture was clearly ripped through the head, though it was also obvious that the rip had been closed a number of times to complete the image of the girl. While the rest of the photo, including Ranma's part, was fairly worn, that part was mostly smooth, indicating that care had been taken not to touch or cover up that part of the photograph when looking at it (with the exception of the tear).  
Wolf looked up from the photo to stare at Ranma's sleeping form, then back down at the photo.  
*Shick!* Flipping his knife closed, Wolf let the photo fall to the floor, with Akane Tendo's likeness sliced out and missing.  
"Sleep well, Saotome. We will meet again..." And with that, Calvin Asmodeus left the room.  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Soldiers capped: 28  
  
End Chapter 10  
Merry Christmas! 


	11. Fun With Cloning

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Disclaimer: All must hail California, the land of happy cows and good cheese. Behold, the power of CHEESE!!!  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Fun With Cloning  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
"Whatever this 'demonstration' is, Igov hopes it is brief. There is much work needing be done on new factories." The large man grumbled to himself as the elevator began the short descent into the secret laboratories of Wraith.  
  
Alex sighed as she listened to the low hum of the oiled wheel above her. "It's not so much a 'demonstration' as an unveiling, I think. Although I agree that whatever it is, it would be best if Konta had simply sent us a data file and went back to work." She glared contemptuously at the elevator twin doors, such that it seemed she was practicing for when she would ultimately glare at Yoshi.  
  
Bei merely kept her eyes locked on the display screen, feeling the tension in the air uneasily. She really hated it when Alexandra was like this; she would snap at any little thing, and it made her terribly difficult to please. At the same time it amazed Bei when Alex was so irritable, as Yoshi was the only person that could ever make her so uptight. Around everyone else, even her clear superiors that enjoyed ordering her about, she maintained a solid image of strength and calm.  
  
*Ding!* *Third sub-basement level. Contaminant storage, genetics testing, and spooky, mad-scientist type laboratories* The elevator chimed out. *Try not to breathe in too deeply, and have a nice day!*  
  
Alexandra walked hurriedly into the complex while Bei and Igov followed at a more sedate pace, the latter two glancing aside at the various shadowy figures encapsulated within large glass cylinders embedded in the walls of the facility.  
  
Before long the terrorist general had reached a particularly large workstation set apart from the rest. It was composed of a wall of computers and equipment, set in a ring around a very large glass cylinder, which itself was positioned below a dish with numerous manipulator arms attached. Alex noted that the liquids inside the cylinder were cloudy to the point that she couldn't make out what else was in the tube, if there was in fact anything else inside.  
  
She waited for her companions to join her, and then straightened noticeably before looking directly at the figure in a white lab coat hunched over a computer terminal.  
  
*Ahem* She cleared her throat delicately, arms held behind her back in a position of perfect respectful composure.  
  
*Click* *Click-click* *Beep* *Tak* *Tak* *Tak* Yoshi input some commands into the terminal, then turned as the outputs scrolled down a screen next to him.  
  
Alex twitched. *Ahem!* She tried a little louder.  
  
Yoshi frowned, then turned back to the first terminal and fished a floppy disk out of his pocket before sliding it into the disk drive.  
  
Igov and Bei glanced at each other as a vein popped up on Alexandra's head.  
  
Alex twitched a few more times, then opened her mouth and took a deep breath...  
  
"Ah! Alex! Good of you to show up!"  
  
*Clack!* Alex slammed her mouth shut, and then winced as she hurt her jaw doing so.  
  
Yoshi grinned in that sadistically cheerful way of his, and then gestured for the group to come closer.  
  
"Come! Come! It's almost ready! I want you all to see this!"  
  
Alex's glare began heating up, and Bei and Igov wisely decided to stay where they were, not putting themselves between the woman and the bane of her existence.  
  
Yoshi noticed, and blinked innocently. "What's wrong? Was it something I said?"  
  
Alex visibly fumed, then let out a deep breath. "Never mind. Let's just get on with this. What did you want to show us?"  
  
Yoshi nodded, and then crossed the workspace to fiddle with another computer terminal. "I've been working on a new project to complement Mobius as the new modules are being completed. It's a bit unique, as recent battlefield observations demand a new approach to our genetic warfare development, but I like to think of it as a big experiment in and of itself."  
  
Alex frowned. "Battlefield observations? What are you getting at?"  
  
Yoshi turned toward his audience, grinning. "Have you ever really thought about the idea behind the war machine? No matter how big you build the tank, and no matter how thick you make the armor, no machine is impervious. Mechanical, or biological." He hit a button on his console, and a nearby screen held above the containment cylinder lit up, revealing a green outline of a K-series mutant. "K-736. Termination by multiple piercings of the cerebral cortex." The head of the outline flashed red, and the screen reset to show another unblemished green outline. "K-288. Termination by concussive blast within the chest cavity by manner of an armor-piercing tank shell. K-730 suffered the same fate." He turned to Alexandra. "No matter what we create, can we exceed man's capability to destroy it?"  
  
"Igov supposes not."  
  
Alex and Bei blinked, not expecting the Russian to take much a part in the demonstration.  
  
Igov grinned slightly. "Igov has been to many battlefield, and no weapon is indestructible. No armor impenetrable. The tools of man overcome any obstacle, any foe."  
  
Yoshi nodded slightly. "I thought you might appreciate this. I thought that perhaps we were looking in the wrong direction for destructive potential." Yoshi turned toward the containment cylinder and began typing something on the control console attached to the base.  
  
"Wait a minute." Alex muttered, realization coming to her. "Are you telling me that you've created a HUMAN? After colossal killing machines, lethal retroviruses, mind-altering parasites, and rampaging mutants, you just took off and made us a HUMAN??" Alex clenched her hand into a fist as she spoke.  
  
Yoshi stopped typing and looked up in thought. "Well, technically, no. I copied a human, I didn't make him."  
  
Bei sweatdropped. "Why am I not surprised..."  
  
Yoshi placed his hand on a lever next to the holding tank, and then turned to the three terrorists, smiling. "And now, I give you-"  
  
"GOOD MOTHER OF CHRIST!!! HELP MEEEEEE!!!"  
  
Everyone present jerked their heads across the room at the scream, their eyes wide.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAH!!! IT'S EATING MY BRAIN!!! MY EYES ARE ON FIRE!!!" A scientist suddenly zipped past in a mad rush, clutching his head in agony. It wasn't easy to get a good look in the short time they saw him, but Alex and Igov could make out a large worm with a huge mouth full of jagged teeth hanging out from a hole bored in the back of the man's skull.  
  
Yoshi frowned as the man's screams echoed through the laboratory, and pressed a hand to a clip on his coat collar. "This is Konta in sub-basement three, we're going to need a janitor in here in a few moments. Tell him to bring some Raid as well. Out." He straightened and composed himself, then put his hand back on the lever.  
  
"I'm sorry for the interruption. That sort of thing really doesn't happen that often around here."  
  
The three terrorists all shared a single uneasy glance, and Bei began looking around at her surroundings a bit more nervously than before.  
  
"Now, I give you our newest soldier. I named him after the origin of his DNA." Yoshi pulled down the lever, and a loud engine rumbled underneath the containment tube before water began to get sucked out through some vents at the bottom of the cell.  
  
"His name is Viper." Yoshi grinned as Alex blinked in surprise.  
  
The water quickly flushed out of the tube, revealing a fairly muscular figure of average height with light, sandy hair wearing only a pair of Hawaiian shorts.  
  
Alexandra paled slightly, and took a step back. Swallowing deeply, she raised a hand unsteadily to point at the figure. "You... You cloned Ken Yakata?"  
  
"And you dressed him in underwear with little pineapples on it?" Bei added, fairly disgusted.  
  
Yoshi nodded to Alexandra. "More commonly known as 'Snake'. Yes. Viper is an almost perfect reproduction of the original, with digitally mapped brain inputs to even replicate his personality and natural talents, as well as programming many basic skills and special abilities."  
  
Alex chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. "I... see... and his obedience?"  
  
Several of the machines above the containment cylinder started moving, and the top of the cell opened itself up to allow in a manipulator arm with what looked like a stitching needle on the end of it.  
  
Yoshi shrugged in response to Alexandra's question. "Hard to say at this point. Up until now all our control methods have proven flawless, but the human brain is a complex machine, and not one easily manipulated. But I can promise you, without a shadow of a doubt, that if you give this man a gun, lots of people will die." He smiled at that, an air of satisfaction surrounding him.  
  
"And this is powerful weapon?" Igov deadpanned, nonplussed. "Igov has many soldier at beck and call, all well trained. You think to accomplish what with one man?"  
  
Yoshi's smile only got bigger. Behind him, the manipulator arm began needling a pattern onto the clone's bicep, and after a few seconds Alex realized that the machine was tattooing the FA's cobra and barbed wire insignia onto Viper's arm.  
  
"Oh, but one man can do so much, my good General." The light momentarily flashed off his glasses, and Yoshi let out a deep, disturbing chuckle. "So much more than you can imagine..."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Ranma! Dude! Good to see you!" Tiro shouted happily, rushing up to his fellow officer as he entered the building and slapping him on the back. "What's up? How'd it go?"  
  
Ranma blinked, taking a few glances around at the interior of the headquarters lobby. It was still largely cluttered from the party held on Christmas Eve, and Ranma suspected that Asuka would go to him first to try and get things cleaned up. "How'd what go?"  
  
Tiro frowned. "You know, the whole thing with Sakura? Or did you go with that Mizu chick?" Tiro stopped, and then rubbed his chin. "Hey man, what happened to you anyway? It's like you just up and vanished after the party."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Well, after I left headquarters, I wandered about Tokyo looking for a place to spend the night. Then I bumped into the guy who tried to kill me back in the sewers where we found all those mutants, but we're cool now, so he found me a hotel for the night. Then I woke up and found him gone, and with a section cut out of this treasured photograph that I take with me everywhere I go. I think he may be hunting down my ex for some reason. Anyway, after that I wandered around on Christmas, until I stumbled upon a secret society of demonic Ninja and dispatched them all, coming to within an inch of death while doing so. Then, when I was totally exhausted, a beautiful woman, who may or may not have had butterfly wings, I'm not sure, took me into a small house of purple crystal and laid me down on a bed made of ivory and silver. Then I woke up this morning in some tall grass in a deserted lot down the street, and made my way here." Ranma finished, sighing deeply and fingering the collar of his jacket.  
  
Tiro blinked, then nodded slightly. "Well, I had dinner with my terrorist cousin and a Russian cyborg. We played Pictionary."  
  
"Typical holiday for you too, huh?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The doors slid open, and Tiro jerked his head around to look toward the entrance. "Captain! So good to see you!"  
  
Asuka sighed at Tiro's unfathomable cheerfulness. "What do you want?"  
  
Tiro blinked, a tad put off. "Yeesh. I was just going to ask how your holiday went..."  
  
Asuka snorted, walking up to the main desk in the DAPC lobby and dropping her purse onto the counter. "For me, a day with my family is just a different type of headache. Leisure is a luxury that I enjoy precious little of." She began digging through her purse to find her access card.  
  
"Hello everyone!" Sakura shouted happily, entering alongside her brother and Tycho.  
  
"Yo Captain! Ranma, hey, how's it going?"  
  
"Hey, who owns the white Mitsubishi out front?"  
  
Asuka's head jerked up, and she narrowed her eyes at Tycho. "I do. Why?"  
  
Tycho stopped short, and began to sweat. "Uh... really? I mean, no reason. I was just wondering. It's a nice car, by the way." He then grinned in such a way that everyone in the room suddenly felt a powerful urge to shoot him on the spot.  
  
"Well, it was nice when it still had a hood," Kyle remarked absently, "I mean, NO car looks good with the whole front part sheared off like that."  
  
Asuka twitched violently as her glare started heating up, and Tycho gulped deeply before stepping behind Kyle.  
  
"Hey! Somebody stop him!!"  
  
The entire group whirled around to face the stairs, and Asuka's eyes widened before she was suddenly bowled over by something large and heavy that she couldn't quite make out before it had already slammed into her.  
  
*Whomp!* "Ow!"  
  
Growling, Asuka tried to push herself up off the floor, and throw off whatever it was that was on top of her, but found herself firmly pinned down and unable to lift the massive weight that was over her.  
  
Of course, the shouting didn't help.  
  
"Holy mother!! What the hell is that?!"  
  
"Geez! It's taken down the Captain!"  
  
"I'll get its neck! Try to hold those claws down!!"  
  
"Are you crazy?! I'm not going near that thing!"  
  
"Is that a gun in its mouth?"  
  
By this time, Asuka had managed to squirm enough so that her face was no longer pressed up against its firm, metal-hard body, and thus able to get a good look at what had tackled her.  
  
She quickly wished she hadn't put forth the effort.  
  
Practically laying on top of her was one of the fiercest-looking freaks of nature she had ever seen. It was the size of a man, but had the body structure of a lizard, with powerful-looking back legs, a thick tail, and two smaller front legs that ended in razor-sharp claws. From there, things got weird. Its entire body was covered in a series of large brown plates that were overlaid down its body, and perhaps most strangely of all, two extra limbs that stuck out from its back and hung over his head and posses two thick talons each.  
  
Asuka was far more concerned with the head, however, as that was the part that was looking down at her just a mere two inches away. It's skull was formed into a thick crest that extended over the middle of its back, and also formed a nasty-looking beak. Set in two narrow slits carved into its skull, as if to prevent the beast from expressing anything EXCEPT deadliness, were two glowing red eyes.  
  
Asuka gulped. The monster glared down at her, jerking slightly to the side as Ranma grabbed it and tried to pull it away.  
  
She noted that it had a Pancor Jackhammer automatic shotgun occupying its maw, a fact which she greatly appreciated at that moment.  
  
Ranma grunted as he firmly grabbed the creature around the neck, fitting his arms under its neck crest. Hesitating slightly at the frightening warning growl that the thing elicited, Ranma readjusted his own neck so that it wouldn't be such a convenient target for the claws above.  
  
"Ranma! Try and get it to open its mouth! Kyle, will you give us a hand over here?" Snake yelled, rushing down from the stairs and running around to the front of the creature.  
  
Ranma blinked as Kyle rushed over and tried to hold back the claws mounted on its back. "What? No! It's on the Captain!"  
  
Snake looked down from where he was trying to pry his gun from the monster's beak. "Oh. So he is."  
  
Asuka shivered as the creature atop her began to writhe under Ranma's grip. "Snake, if you're responsible for this thing, so help me-" She cut off as the thing snorted fiercely, blasting air into her face.  
  
"Actually, I brought him," Seras chuckled, walking down the stairs calmly.  
  
Tycho, Sakura, and Tiro all stared as the commonly wasted doctor sat down on his heels and then whistled sharply, beckoning the monster with his index finger.  
  
The large creature craned its neck to the side to look at the professor, then hastily spit the shotgun out of its mouth and clambered over to Seras, dragging Ranma and Kyle along with it.  
  
"He's, uh... stronger than he looks," Ranma remarked, carefully letting his arms slide out from around the creature's neck so that he could disengage himself. Kyle wasn't nearly so careful, and had already jumped away out of slashing range. "And he looks REALLY strong."  
  
Asuka held her eyes shut tight as Snake lifted the slimy autoshotgun off of her face. After he was done, she carefully raised a hand, while still lying on her back, and tenderly wiped some alien saliva off of her cheeks and the bridge of her nose.  
  
Then she jumped to her feet, her face red with fury, and jabbed a finger at the large beast.  
  
"Tuko, you had better explain this now, and had better explain this WELL!! Or... or... I'll have Snake kill that thing!"  
  
Snake brightened considerably at that, and immediately began scrubbing drool off of his shotgun with his shirt.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, calm down! It's all right! He was just playing around!" Seras tried to explain, holding his hands up in the air. At his feet, the creature glared about the room and let out a low hiss.  
  
"Where did he come from?" Kyle asked curiously, scratching his head.  
  
Seras smiled proudly. "Well, over our vacation during Christmas, I apparently got too drunk to remember how to get home. So I wandered about and eventually found myself in a large Christmas party held by software developers. I think. Anyway, I'm not very clear on how the rest of the night went, but I think I won some sort of drinking contest while I was there, because I woke up in the Houston Airport in Texas wearing a sailor fuku."  
  
"Boy, was I surprised to find him," Snake interjected.  
  
Seras continued. "Anyway, the big guy here was right next to me, with a red ribbon tied around his neck. I call him Hunter."  
  
Asuka nodded her head slightly, settling down. "Okay, makes sense... well, for you, anyway. But what is it?"  
  
Seras shrugged. "I haven't the slightest."  
  
"Well, whatever he is," Ranma remarked, looking at a small line of writing that seemed to be etched into the side of Hunter's carapace, "he's copyrighted by Blizzard Software."  
  
An uneasy silence settled over the room as everyone stared at Hunter, unsure of what to say next. Then Sakura stepped up to him and patted him over the head. "He's so cute!"  
  
*Thud!* Mass facefaulting ensued.  
  
Sakura began stroking the beast under its neck, and it let out a low-pitched hiss that really could have meant anything. "Can we keep him?"  
  
The entire room nearly fell down again.  
  
Kyle staggered to his feet. "I don't know... taking care of your own killer alien is a lot of responsibility!"  
  
"What does it eat?" Tycho asked, propping himself up on a desk.  
  
Seras shrugged. "I don't really know."  
  
"Aw, it looks like he has a tummy ache." Everybody in the room turned their heads to look back at Sakura, who had began to rub Hunter's belly soothingly.  
  
The alien beast swayed on its legs slightly from side to side, then his entire body suddenly jerked and he began coughing fiercely.  
  
"Haock!! Graghk! Plakth!!" With a final heave, the DAPC's new pet hacked up a big red slimeball that hit the floor in a wet blob. Upon a moment's inspection, it was revealed that the slime itself wasn't red, but that there was actually a red object covered in various biological fluids.  
  
Ranma blinked. "Hey... isn't that the electric collar you made for that terrorist guy up in the lab space?"  
  
Seras scratched his head. "Why, so it is...... I was wondering what happened to him."  
  
Everyone in the room sweatdropped heavily except Sakura, who went back to petting Hunter.  
  
"The poor thing, the electric shots must have hurt his stomach!"  
  
"Or maybe the terrorist's skull?" Kyle wondered aloud. Everyone sweatdropped again.  
  
Asuka sighed wearily, rubbing her head. "Well, whatever. If that's all, I'm going to my office to-"  
  
"Actually," Snake interrupted, freezing Asuka in her tracks.  
  
"God damn it..." the Captain muttered, and then slowly turned around. "Yes?"  
  
Snake had a big grin plastered over his face, and Asuka fiercely resisted the feeling of dread that threatened to overwhelm her senses. "Well, I thought you might like to know that we got some new equipment in over the holidays."  
  
"What, some new guns?" Tiro asked. "Do we really need any more weapons?"  
  
Snake looked at him as if he was stupid. "Of course we do! But you're wrong, anyway. Well, sort of. Technically, I guess you could say that."  
  
"What is it Snake?" Asuka snapped. She really just wanted to get this over with and return to the protected bubble of relative sanity that was her office.  
  
Snake raised a hand up and beckoned to his companions with his index finger. "Follow me."  
  
The assembled officers did so, leaving Seras to return to his lab, and Snake began talking as he led them down the hall and past the locker rooms.  
  
"Remember those two IS-2s that we captured at the hotel?"  
  
"The Russian tanks, right?" Tycho asked.  
  
"Right. Well, I have some pals in the R&D labs, and we like to collect those sorts of things."  
  
Ranma blinked. "You collect tanks?"  
  
Snake shrugged. "Tanks, automatic weapons, bombs, ballistic missiles, you know, a little bit of everything. Anyway, I already have an IS-2, so I sent the captured ones to them." He turned toward Ranma. "Actually, they're the ones that made your rail gun."  
  
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Okay... so what do want to show us?"  
  
Snake finally reached the door to the garage, and threw it open. "They're pretty cool guys, and when somebody does them a favor, they reply in kind."  
  
"........................" Everyone stared into the garage, stunned silent. Ranma idly raised a hand to scratch his neck below his pigtail. Tycho started to grin. Sakura was at the rear of the group with Hunter (who had followed her), and unconsciously hugged him to her a little bit.  
  
As usual, it was up to Kyle to break the silence. "Wow. That's a big tank."  
  
Snake smiled broadly, nodding his head. "Isn't it?! This is the Firestorm Mk. IV prototype armored weapons platform. It sports a revolutionized 140 mm. anti-armor cannon, a heavy minigun firing station mounted atop the main turret there, a 200 mm. anti-sliver artillery cannon mounted on the side, guided Black Jacket missiles, and muti-warhead cluster rockets mounted in the compartment on the side opposite the artillery piece!" Snake proclaimed proudly, fists on his hips.  
  
Ranma took a visual stock of the hulking death machine, cataloguing the different weapons as Snake pointed them out. The artillery cannon, which was the only item that looked particularly out of place among the assortment of unnecessarily big guns, was nearly the length of the entire vehicle, and looked to be mounted on a lever so that it could be lifted up to fire at an angle, though it could still only fire forward, attached as it was to the tank body. The entire machine was a very dark gray, though it didn't look as if it was painted.  
  
Snake continued speaking. "The Firestorm boasts an experimental new alloy armor that was designed for use in developing fusion reactor cores! Redundant sensor arrays located on the turret and body allow for reliable visual navigation and targeting, while state-of-the-art fuel cells allow an unparalleled operation time and movement distance before refueling! How cool is that?!"  
  
"......................" Everyone continued staring at the tank, unsure of how to respond.  
  
That is, until Tiro shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Well, I got a Playstation 2 for Christmas."  
  
"Whoa!"  
  
"You're kidding!"  
  
"That's awesome!"  
  
"Dude, can I come over your house?"  
  
Snake's left eye twitched as everyone but Asuka immediately surrounded Tiro. "What is the world coming to when simulated destruction and killing is preferred over the real thing?" he muttered, irritated.  
  
Asuka sighed and clapped her hand over his shoulder. "Give it a rest, Snake. Besides, if it makes you feel any better, I actually think it's pretty neat that some psycho gave you a big enough cannon to wipe out half the Japanese armed forces."  
  
Snake blinked and turned towards his superior officer, smiling hopefully. "Really?"  
  
Asuka smiled. "No. And if I had the time or patience, I would have this thing returned to where it came from, in several pieces if possible." She turned around pointedly, ignoring Snake's hurt expression. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got paperwork to do, so don't bother me."  
  
Snake watched her go, his left eye twitching. Then he sighed, and let his frustration flow out of him.  
  
"One day... one day I'll show them all! Just you wait!" He mumbled to himself, jabbing a finger at the door Asuka had walked out of. "Someday, I'll-"  
  
*Crunch!!*  
  
"Whoa!! No Hunter! Down boy!"  
  
"Christ, he's eating the squad car!!"  
  
Snake blinked, and then turned around toward where the DAPC's newest member was chewing through the hood of a police car and was ripping the bumper off to gnaw on.  
  
"Hey! That's my car! Down, Hunter! Bad... thing! Stop!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Darkness.  
  
Emptiness.  
  
The inky void washed thick over the new mind that was Viper. In his unconsciousness, he did not dream. Did not remember. His subconscious did not speculate.  
  
For how could a consciousness that had never been conscious think? An entity that has experienced nothing, remember? A mind that had never wondered, dream?  
  
Pain. A flaring red bolt in the blackness.  
  
It fascinated this new consciousness, and it followed the feeling. Like an insect flying toward a streak of light in the dark.  
  
More pain. A rhythmic hum of dull jolts, coursing through his body.  
  
Electricity?  
  
How could a mind that had experienced nothing before put a name to a feeling? What was going on?  
  
The pain intensified.  
  
Light.  
  
Viper jolted upright, suddenly taking in the entire room as his eyes snapped open.  
  
The details did not come slowly, nor did his eyes need time to readjust, as he thought might be the case. Of course, he had no idea why he thought that would be the case in the first place. Odd.  
  
He was in a small room with metal walls, with a single door in front of him. He was lying on a thin, hard hospital mattress shoved into a back corner with a white sheet over him.  
  
Frowning, Viper turned to look at the place his head had rested.  
  
Spaced an equal distance from the impression his head had made, so that they would contact his shoulders, were two metal pads with wires coming from them. No doubt the source of the electricity.  
  
'But how do I know that?' Viper wondered to himself, staring at his bed. 'Metal conducts electricity. Wires conduct electricity. But it's safe to touch the wires while the metal pads will shock me. How do I know?'  
  
He stared for a few moments longer at his bed, then shrugged and pushed his feet over the side of the mattress. 'Eh, who cares?'  
  
Slipping off the bed, he stood up and tested his legs for balance and strength. Nothing seemed amiss at all, so he looked down at himself to take stock of the rest of his person.  
  
Viper frowned. Hawaiian shorts. This would not do.  
  
Looking back toward the bed he had awoken on, he noticed a pile of clothes underneath it. Smiling, he grabbed up the ensemble. He had a pair of jeans, some socks and boots, and a big black shirt with white letters that said: [I support gun control! Always use both hands when you shoot someone in the face!]  
  
Putting on the clothes he had found, Viper made sure that everything was neat and straight, and then cast a final look at the metal room he was in.  
  
Then he turned toward the door, grabbed the knob, and twisted it.  
  
The two Freedom's Angels blinked themselves awake as they heard the scraping sound of the door they were guarding, and turned as the heavy steel door slowly opened.  
  
The door had opened so that the door swung out right in front one of the guards, who could only see what was coming out of the room by the little plastic window set into the heavy barrier. The other guard, however, could clearly see the man that stepped out, and whistled at the sight.  
  
"Damn, they really did do-"  
  
*Wham!* Viper sucker-punched the man in the face, and at the same time kicked the door hard, causing it to swing back further on its hinges and smash into the guard on the opposite side.  
  
"Ow! The hell?!" The terrorist shouted, holding his nose. What was going on here? This guy was supposed to be on their side!  
  
Before he could recover enough to make a half-decent attempt to defend himself, Snake had grabbed the barrel of the terrorist's AK-47 and then used that hold to put some extra force into a kick to the man's stomach.  
  
The guard gasped as he fell backward onto the hard tile floor, noting with a fair amount of dread that his automatic rifle had been ripped from his grasp.  
  
Trying to recover his breath, the stunned terrorist looked up fearfully into the eyes of his attacker.  
  
"But... why?"  
  
Viper heard the door behind him being moved as the other guard tried to push it closed, and he kicked back to slam the steel barrier back against the wall. Then he checked his newly acquired rifle and grinned.  
  
"What is this human preoccupation with 'why'? Things happen, and if you're lucky, you're still alive afterward."  
  
Then the clone cheerfully leveled the AK-47 at the terrorist's face. "You're not lucky. So who cares why?"  
  
*Rattattattattattattattattatta!!*  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So now that the subject has been deployed, it will automatically seek the target area without further instruction? I didn't realize the chemical processes were so precise."  
  
Yoshi nodded absently to his fellow scientist's question. "Yes, the control system makes it possible to cause certain synapses in the brain to-" Yoshi stopped talking suddenly, and deliberately cleared his throat.  
  
The man next to him blinked, and was about to ask why Yoshi had stopped talking, when the door to the small lab space opened with such force that it slammed against the inside wall and left an impression in the metal surface from the door knob.  
  
The man's eyes widened, and he quickly lost control of much of his thought processes.  
  
Alexandra Tokima stood in the doorway, her hair in disarray and her chest heaving from what Yoshi could only guess was a hard sprint down to his lab space. Yoshi also guessed that in her haste she had left Bei in the dust somewhere behind her, as the shorter girl wasn't present.  
  
Yoshi looked Alex over and sighed. "Yes? What is it now?"  
  
Alex grit her teeth and walked right over to the diminutive geneticist, grabbed him by the collar, and then lifted him up in the air so that she could look him straight in the eyes.  
  
"Don't take that tone with ME, you arrogant little toad!! Your 'experiment' has gone out of control! I'm going to rip off your arm and beat you to death with it!!"  
  
The other scientist's eyes kept getting larger and larger, and he suddenly got the urge to find a place to hide.  
  
Yoshi, for his part, blinked innocently. "Out of control? How so?"  
  
"He broke out of the room we were holding him in, dispatched the guards, and then left the facility, killing everything in his way! A fifth of our armory is gone and 23 men are dead!" The terrorist general spat.  
  
"How many wounded?" Yoshi asked suddenly.  
  
Alex blinked. "None. Why?"  
  
"I figured as much," Yoshi thought aloud. "He's very thorough."  
  
*Thud* Alex let Yoshi fall to the ground as she let go, and the small man landed unsteadily on his feet. "What are you going to do about this?!"  
  
Yoshi shrugged. "I don't see a reason to do anything. By whatever means he used to leave this complex, our scans show that he's making good progress toward his target. To stop him now would be a foolish waste."  
  
Alex narrowed her eyes, but her temper cooled slightly. "And what is this... target. You didn't tell me any of this."  
  
Yoshi adjusted his glasses. "Why, the headquarters of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment, of course! I thought it was fairly obvious. What better place to use a clone of one of their own officers?"  
  
Alex frowned. "I suppose..." then her gaze heated up again, "but what does it matter? Even if he succeeds, he'll kill anything that he sees, including us! What use is a weapon if it can't be controlled?"  
  
Yoshi rolled his eyes, an action which notably increased Alexandra's temper by a few dozen degrees. "I don't expect you to understand the mind-boggling complications that are involved with chemically controlling a human mind, Alex. I'm sure you have less complex ways of getting men to do what you want." His droll expression made the woman twitch, but she managed to hold herself in check.  
  
"In any case," Yoshi continued, turning around, "the control processes we're using involve branches of science barely comprehensible to the common mind, and are unimaginably difficult to implement. I hardly think it's unfair to ask for some margin of patience and tolerance concerning their execution. I'm certain you can find it in your best interests to forgive a few minor setbacks and mistakes."  
  
With a disgusted snarl, Alexandra whirled around and stalked out of the lab, grabbing the door knob and slamming the door closed hard enough that the reinforced hinges creaked and shook from the force.  
  
Yoshi calmly went back to observing a series of computer printouts, apparently unconcerned with Alexandra's intrusion.  
  
His companion wasn't so strong of will, however, and took a few moments to get his bearings before turning to the master geneticist.  
  
"Konta, I thought you said the control processes were working perfectly."  
  
Yoshi looked up, and then nodded. "Yes, they are."  
  
"...... Oh. Okay."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Nerima, Japan.  
  
Few other places in the world had seen so much destruction and unrest as the little district of Nerima. As a district of Tokyo, it was an inferno of trouble among hotspots. No citizen of the deceptively peaceful-looking area had been spared the frequent rampages of the local fighters, and on every street and wall could be found signs of repair, as if some massive beast had torn the town itself to pieces.  
  
It was commonly known that being a resident of Nerima, you were privy to the "ugly side of martial arts".  
  
And yet, on this day, the land seemed subdued. As Calvin Asmodeus walked the streets of Nerima, there was an almost imperceptible sense of... loss, perhaps? Or maybe regret?  
  
Wolf could not say exactly what the feeling was, but a quick look around told him that something was missing. Like a dam that had sprouted a single tiny hole at its base, this area felt as if its life had been slowly drained from it.  
  
Wolf couldn't exactly say what gave him this feeling. It could have been anything, really. It could have been that at every intersection there was a [No fighting; 10,000 yen fine] sign that was rusting and falling off its bolts from disrepair. Maybe it was the numerous lumber and home repair shops that had [Out of business] signs on the front. Or maybe it was because the construction worker up ahead with the [Will work for food] sign was the seventh one he'd seen on this street alone.  
  
Wolf shook his head as the man tried to attract his attention by yelling out a pathetic-sounding story about how there were no more craters to fill in the streets any more and how all the roofs were in good shape now. Wolf moved on. He found it hard to sympathize with there being too little property damage.  
  
He heard some paper crumple under his foot, and he stopped and looked down. Under his boot was a sign that clearly said [Do not hug pole]. Looking up at the closest pole, he noticed several of the signs plastered onto it, although there was not a one of them that wasn't torn or dirty from neglect. Oddly enough, the pole also showed signs of being repaired, and with some inspection of the repairs, Wolf noted that it appeared the pole had been completely broken in two. He wondered if someone had tried to hug it.  
  
"Ah, can I help you?"  
  
Wolf turned his head at the voice. "Thank you, maybe you can. I'm looking for someone. Or, at least, information about someone."  
  
The girl who had stepped outside to sweep smiled brightly at the German, thinking perhaps to flirt with him a little and get his number. "Oh, I'd be happy to help! Ask me anything!"  
  
Wolf bowed his head graciously in thanks and slowly lowered his shades so that she could look him in the eyes. "What can you tell me about a man named Ranma Saotome?"  
  
As predicted, from what Wolf had gathered in his questioning so far, the girl immediately locked up, and her smile became strained.  
  
"Ra-Ranma S-Sa-Saotome? W-Why? Why would you want to know about him?" She asked, almost in a panic.  
  
Wolf sighed and tried to stay as calm and relaxed as possible so as not to alarm her. "I would just like to know a little more about him, that is all. If you feel uncomfortable with telling me-"  
  
"I definitely feel uncomfortable with telling you!" The girl shouted, and then flushed in embarrassment at her outburst.  
  
Shaking his head slightly, Wolf took out a small circle cut from a photograph from his pocket. "Very well, then do you feel comfortable with telling me anything about this woman?"  
  
The girl blinked. It was a picture of Akane, looking only a few years younger than she was now. It looked as if there were other people in the picture with her, but with only Akane cut out, she couldn't tell who they might have been.  
  
"Well... I guess it's okay..." The girl ventured. People that were after Akane made a significantly lesser ruckus than those who were after Ranma, and if the stories were anywhere near accurate, Ranma himself was usually the one that caused the ruckus while trying to get Akane back. "That girl is Akane Tendo, of the Tendo Dojo. She lives just two blocks down, on the right. You can't miss it. I heard that her fiance is sick or something, but I really shouldn't say anything other than that."  
  
Wolf nodded and then bowed politely, putting Akane's image back in his pocket. "Thank you very much. I appreciate your help." Then he turned away, and continued his trek toward the dojo.  
  
He had found other people that were more willing to talk about Akane than Ranma, but as soon as he had dropped Ranma's name, they had mostly locked up and weren't willing to tell him much. He hadn't heard anything about a fiance, sick or otherwise, from anybody else.  
  
After a bit more walking, and after turning down three more unemployed construction workers, Wolf had reached the front yard before the Tendo Dojo.  
  
Straightening his sunglasses, the German mercenary crossed the distance to the front door, and swiftly knocked to announce his presence.  
  
Within a few moments, he could hear soft footsteps approaching the door. There was a clicking noise as the knob was turned, and then the door opened to reveal an attractive, long-haired brunette wearing a floral-pattern housedress. She looked to be a few years older than Ranma, and had her hair tied mid-back into a ponytail.  
  
"Hello, may I help you?" She asked, tilting her head slightly. Clearly the woman was somewhat confused as to what he was doing here.  
  
Wolf smiled casually. "Hello. Is this the residence of a Miss Akane Tendo?"  
  
The woman blinked, and then nodded. "Is this about her fiance?"  
  
Wolf raised an eyebrow. "I don't think so. May I speak with her please? My name is Wolf, but she does not know me."  
  
She put a hand to her mouth. "Oh my. I'm sorry, but Akane isn't in right now. You're welcome to stay until she returns, though. My name is Kasumi Tendo."  
  
Wolf bowed graciously. "That would be much appreciated, thank you Miss Tendo."  
  
Kasumi led him inside, and Wolf settled himself on the living room couch as Kasumi excused herself to get some tea.  
  
The house seemed modest enough, with furnishings that suggested a rather tight budget. Looking through the hallway, Wolf could see out to the backyard, and barely see the entrance to the dojo.  
  
When he observed the house closely though, he began to see much of what he saw outside, but with much greater frequency. The ceiling was a patchwork of fairly recent boards among much older ones, spots along the walls looked as if they had been replaced within the last few years, and what he had at first mistaken for a pattern on the coffee table was actually splintered indentations that had been filled with sawdust and then hastily smoothed and polished over.  
  
"Here's some tea, Mr. Wolf. Can I get you anything else?" Kasumi asked, setting down a cup before the man.  
  
"No, thank you, I'm fine." Wolf reassured her. "Although maybe you can help me with something I've been having some trouble with."  
  
Kasumi blinked and tilted her head slightly to one side. "Oh? And what would that be?"  
  
Wolf took a short sip from his cup, and then lowered it from his mouth, idly swishing the minty liquid around in his mouth before swiftly swallowing.  
  
"Do you know a man named Ranma Saotome?" He asked finally, taking off his sunglasses as he spoke to look Kasumi in the eyes. People who didn't want to answer a question found it easier when faced with two black panes rather than a pair of eyes.  
  
Wolf didn't need to have worried, however. Kasumi merely uttered a soft sigh and put down her tea before settling her hands in her lap. "I knew him. Rather well, actually."  
  
Wolf noted the 'knew' that she had subtly emphasized. That indicated that she didn't know his current whereabouts. "He used to live in this district, correct?"  
  
Kasumi nodded. "He used to live in this house."  
  
Wolf blinked, and then slowly nodded his head. "Can you tell me anything about him? Anything at all?"  
  
Kasumi pursed her lips as she thought. "Well, what do you want to know? I can tell you a lot about his past, but I have no idea where he's been for the last few years."  
  
"He doesn't keep in touch?" Wolf ventured.  
  
"It's more than that," Kasumi said sadly, "he doesn't want us to find him."  
  
Wolf was about to take another sip of tea, but put his cup down and raised an eyebrow when Kasumi said this. "Really? Why?"  
  
Kasumi sighed. "For a variety of good reasons, I suppose. Ranma's life was never easy, and he had a lot of problems while he lived here. I'm sad to say that my family, and my little sister Akane were the source of most of those problems. I really can't blame him at all for leaving, but..."  
  
Wolf rested his elbows on the table and propped his chin up on his hands. "But what?"  
  
She glanced at him, as if unsure of what she was going to say. And then she said it anyway. "It's just so different without him here. He lived in our house for less than two years, but while he was here, he became a part of Nerima. And once he left, I think that part of Nerima... died." Kasumi looked up at Wolf to see if he was giving her any odd looks, but saw that he was only giving her his rapt attention. "It just hasn't been the same since he left."  
  
Wolf cocked his head to one side. "How did it used to be?"  
  
Kasumi licked her lips as she thought about it. "Well... chaotic, I suppose. Ranma used to bring so much to Nerima. Bad things, mostly, but he attracted everyone's interest sooner or later. I wouldn't have been able to see a tenth of the amazing things I've seen had he never lived here. But Ranma and his friends did cause a lot of damage." She sighed wistfully, and Wolf raised an eyebrow as she smiled fondly in remembrance. "Every day there was another fight. People kept coming to Nerima, all following Ranma. People who smashed concrete with their fists, shot fireballs from their hands, and could destroy rock with a single touch." Kasumi stopped smiling. "When Ranma left, the only people who weren't happy about it were some of the girls. Ranma always was a charmer."  
  
Wolf nodded. "But then things began to decline?"  
  
Kasumi nodded after him. "Yes. New people still appeared and fights still happened, but they happened less frequently. And they still centered around Ranma. Only Ranma wasn't there. Every battle was like a pair of lions fighting over prey that had already fled. After enough time went by, the fights stopped entirely, a few shops up and left, including two of the best restaurants in town, Furinkan High became a heavily disciplined, well-enforced school, and everything descended into a terrible rut." Kasumi lowered her eyes sadly. "Without Ranma here, it's like the life just bled out of Nerima."  
  
Wolf slowly gulped down some more tea, a bit surprised at the waterfall of expression coming from the woman before him. Clearly, she had been thinking on this a long time without being able to tell anyone. "Tell me, what was Ranma like?"  
  
Kasumi smiled at that. "Oh, Ranma was just a wonderful person. I mean, he was rude at times, short-tempered, egotistical, and could be selfish and insensitive, but there was just so much good in him. He was kind, forgiving, cheerful, caring, and noble. He always just tried to be himself, and further his art and skill. And he always had a great concern for those around him, even if they didn't deserve it at all."  
  
Wolf drained the last of his cup and set it down on the table. "I see. He sounds like a fine man. Why did he leave?"  
  
Kasumi winced slightly, and Wolf knew that he had hit something important. "Well... he was engaged, by an arrangement, to my little sister, you see? Her name is Akane."  
  
Wolf nodded slowly, as if hearing that name for the first time. He was surprised at the "engaged" part though. Didn't that girl say that Akane's fiance was hurt?  
  
"As much as I hate to say it, Akane never treated Ranma very well. I suppose he treated her badly as well, but Akane took it to extremes that Ranma would never dare to go. He did an awful lot for her, but she never really opened up to him or appreciated him very much, and she was horribly jealous of his attention. It didn't make for a smooth relationship."  
  
Wolf gave Kasumi his total attention. This was interesting stuff, and might explain the photograph he had found.  
  
"Ranma had several other... girls pursuing him, but he kept them at bay, and stayed by Akane's side. Then, she left him." Kasumi said the last part a tad bitterly, or perhaps ironically. Either way, it seemed pretty clear that she thought her sister's choice was a mistake. "She took a man she had known for almost two years, who had traveled with her, fought by her side, and sacrificed for her, and threw him away for some college student that her friend introduced her to."  
  
Kasumi leaned back a bit, raising her eyes to stare at the ceiling. "My other sister, Nabiki, said that she was doing it to make Ranma jealous, and I think that she was right. But Ranma felt betrayed, not jealous. And he didn't fight Kenji-that's his name-for Akane out of possessiveness or try to fight her decision and win her back. He left. Akane was quite upset at him when he did leave, but there was nothing anybody could do about it, and not even I could find it in my heart to sympathize with her." Kasumi looked down again, and stared into her tea. "Akane continued dating Kenji, and a few months ago they became engaged. With still no word from Ranma. We have no idea where he is, and Akane gave up looking long ago." She sighed. "I honestly think she gave up caring too, and that's what I feel worst about. Because I know she really isn't over him. She did love him, even if she didn't-"  
  
The front door opened up, and Kasumi stopped herself short as she stood up to greet whoever was coming.  
  
Into the living room walked a shorter, well-built woman with shoulder-length black hair. She was dressed in running shorts and a t-shirt, and was currently thumbing through a stack of envelopes.  
  
"Oh! Hello Akane," Kasumi greeted, smiling at her younger sister. "Are there any bills I need to take to father?"  
  
Akane nodded absently at her sister's greeting. "Hello Kasumi... hmmm... here's one... and two..." She slipped those into one hand and held them out for Kasumi to take as a particular envelope caught her eye.  
  
After Kasumi took the bills, Akane sighed and ripped open the envelope she was looking at, briefly scanning the letter before crumpling it up in her hand.  
  
"Who are these 'Freedom's Angels' guys? They keep sending me a membership application, like, every other week! Why do they want my cooking so badly, anyway?"  
  
Wolf noted that Kasumi's expression had turned perfectly neutral. He stood up. "Akane Tendo, I presume?"  
  
Akane's head jerked toward him, aware of his presence for the first time. "What the... who are you?" This was weird. Kasumi had brought a man home? Very unlikely, especially as this guy looked like some kind of Yakuza dealer, or perhaps a martial artist out to maim her ex-fiance.  
  
Wolf bowed to her. "You may call me Wolf. I just had a few questions to ask you, if that's all right."  
  
Kasumi exited the room toward the kitchen as Akane looked Wolf over.  
  
"I don't know... what kind of questions?"  
  
"They all pertain toward Ranma Saotome, actually." Wolf answered frankly.  
  
Akane narrowed her eyes. "What about him?"  
  
"How good a fighter is he?" Wolf asked, changing his previous line of questioning. This girl was obviously a fighter, so she would be more prepared, and likely comfortable, answering a question like that.  
  
Akane blinked. "How good a fighter..." She cupped her chin in her hand, considering. "Well, he's good, but not nearly as good as he thinks. He gets lucky a lot and then acts like he's some kind of fighting genius."  
  
Wolf nodded obligingly. "Ah... yes, thank you. He does seem very skilled."  
  
Akane shrugged, frowning. "He's all right. He's no 'martial arts God', not that you'd know, talking to him."  
  
"Do you know where I can find him?" Wolf asked. Of course, he already knew she didn't, and he in fact DID know where to find him, but he was still interested in how she would answer.  
  
Akane shook her head. "No, he took off a while ago. And if I have my way, he'll stay gone too."  
  
Wolf raised an eyebrow. "Just left? What was he doing here?"  
  
"Just left," Akane confirmed, frowning. "The jerk didn't even say goodbye. Just ran off and left everyone, even his parents." Wolf noted that she didn't answer his second question.  
  
"He doesn't seem very pleasant to be around." Wolf said, picking up his shades and slipping them back on.  
  
Akane shook her head. "That's an understatement if I ever heard one. But I'm glad he's gone. Heck, everyone's glad he's gone. He never did anything around here except cause trouble, and I don't need him anyway. I already have a fiance."  
  
"Indeed." Wolf nodded and stood up. "Well, I must thank you for your time. You've been very helpful."  
  
Akane nodded back. "Okay. No trouble. Why did you want to know all this, anyway?"  
  
"Curiosity. It's not often one meets somebody like Saotome, and I wished to know what molds a man like that. I think I know now." Wolf walked toward the front door and opened it, but before he left, he turned back toward Akane. "I couldn't help overhearing, as I was wandering through town, that your fiance has fallen ill. You have my deepest condolences."  
  
Akane blinked. "Oh! Uh, thank you. Yeah, Kenji's in the hospital right now. He... He should be fine though."  
  
Wolf nodded. "Good, good. If I may ask, what are the nature of his injuries?"  
  
The German was quite surprised when an embarrassed flush spread across Akane's face. "He... uh... it's just..." looking down, she said, and with a heavy dose of guilt, "food poisoning. And blunt cranial trauma. It's nothing serious though!" She insisted.  
  
"I'm sure," Wolf said reassuringly. "Again, I was just curious. Thank you for your hospitality, and good day."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Crank* *Crank* *Clack*  
  
The empty, lonely sounds of machining echoed within the large concrete well of the DAPC garage, its only audience the numerous vehicles stored away in the reinforced, oversized closet.  
  
The composer lie on his haunches, staring at a collection of parts critically. His was a symphony of function and ugly precision, not beauty, for the role of a mechanic is one in which aesthetics has no place.  
  
*Wind* *Wind* *Creak*  
  
The last sound of that particular verse, however, was not one that came from Tycho and his stainless steel orchestra, but that of another man, a composer of different instruments, entering the driver's sacred hall.  
  
"Hey Wattai," Snake greeted automatically.  
  
"Hi Snake," Tycho greeted back absently, holding a screwdriver in one hand and a monkey wrench in the other.  
  
Glancing at Tycho, Snake observed his squad car critically. "Hmmm... well, I was going to ask you to fix my car, but we stopped Hunter from tearing up the engine much, so the damage is mostly to the hood and front bumper. So I'm gonna take it to an auto shop. That cool?"  
  
"Cool," Tycho replied, still not glancing in the lieutenant's direction.  
  
Snake slipped into the driver's side of his car, and leaned out the window toward his subordinate. "I'll be back in a few hours! If anybody needs me, I'll be downtown, okay?"  
  
Tycho nodded toward his pile of metal. "I'll tell them."  
  
*Chooooooom* The unsteady grind of chains shook the garage as the main door opened, pouring light and fresh air into the stale concrete cell of the garage.  
  
Snake sped off without another word, and the heavy grind returned, once again casting the vehicle bay in its collection of shadows.  
  
*Wind* *Wind* *Clank*  
  
Tycho returned to his work in earnest, his mind forming blueprints and connecting the various parts with their representative drawings.  
  
*Crank* *Klink* *Slam!*  
  
Once again, his composition was interrupted from an entrance behind him.  
  
"Hi Snake," Tycho greeted absently.  
  
Viper blinked, then looked toward the DAPC's head mechanic. "Hi." Then the evil clone looked around the garage, and grinned wickedly.  
  
"Hey, you," he said, jabbing a finger at the preoccupied driver, "I feel like blowing up something, so I'm going to take this tank here and wipe out some buildings, maybe mow down a few crowds of innocent bystanders and cause general havoc and confusion. That cool?"  
  
"Cool," Tycho replied, still not glancing in the clone's direction.  
  
Grinning maliciously, Viper jumped up atop the armored war machine, lifted the entry hatch, and then slipped inside.  
  
"The keys are right here! Perfect!" Then he popped his head out of the tank turret and turned toward Tycho. "If any of your companions wish to stop me, I'll be annihilating people downtown. They cross me at their own peril."  
  
Tycho nodded toward his pile of metal. "I'll tell them."  
  
This time, the grinding chain of the garage door was followed by the much heavier grind of tank treads as the armored machine lumbered out onto the streets of Tokyo, its massive cannons primed for destruction.  
  
*Clank* *Clank* *Wind*  
  
Suddenly, Tycho's eyes shot open in revelation. "Wait a minute!"  
  
He pointed to the collection of parts he had assembled so far, "This plug goes in the exhaust port for the piston, not the fuel injection system! Aw, man! Now I have to take the &#*%^$@ thing out again!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Junko tiredly hit the button on her car radio as the station went to commercial again, interrupting the flow of music with inane praise for objects nobody needed and stores that nobody ever visited.  
  
She was late for work, not that it really bothered her. Though Asuka gave the impression of being very strict, the police captain had long ago given up on actual discipline, and everybody knew it.  
  
"But still, I should have gone a little easier on the booze last night," she muttered to herself, rubbing her head irritably. At least the guy she woke up next to was really nice. What was his name again?  
  
*And so temperatures remain in the 9-11 degree Celsius bracket, with a chance of hail tomorrow, and a heavy chance of snow all weekend.*  
  
"Come on, come on..." Junko mumbled, moving forward as the cars began moving, only to stop again as the light turned red, with vehicles stuck all the way across the intersection before her. "Dammit..."  
  
*In local news, a rogue tank has appeared out of nowhere in central Tokyo, and is even as we speak wreaking a path of total destruction downtown, destroying everything in its path as it roams the streets.*  
  
Junko blinked. "Well THAT'S not good..." she turned her attention fully toward her radio.  
  
*Core, the Central Organized Response Echelon and elite armed forces for the general Tokyo area, has been deployed in order to contain the situation. Civilians are advised to avoid contact with armed forces at all costs. The rogue unit is currently headed east down Yake Avenue, and approaching Kimone Street.*  
  
Junko looked up, frowning. "Bull. That's the street I'm on. There's no-"  
  
*KA-THWOOOM!!!* A car three vehicles ahead detonated violently, throwing the frame up in the air and blowing out shrapnel as fire rushed out into the surrounding cars.  
  
Junko blinked as people began to scream and evacuate the area, jumping out of their vehicles and rushing away from the direction of the sudden hail of explosives.  
  
"Well, crap."  
  
*KA-THWOOOM!!!* Another car on the opposite side of the street went up in massive fireball, and the shell continued on to blast aside the vehicle immediately next to it as well.  
  
Junko stared as the massive armored machine rolled into the intersection, heedlessly crushing the car directly in front of her like a steamroller. Shards of glass sprayed across the asphalt as metal was smashed flat atop plastic and vinyl as the tank moved on, smashing the vehicles of the next lane flat as well.  
  
Junko continued staring as the tank stopped in the middle of the intersection. After a few moments, the hatch opened up, and Junko's eyes widened as someone who looked very much like Snake popped out and manned the minigun mounted atop the turret.  
  
"Wither and burn, pitiful insects!! Fall before a storm of lead!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!"  
  
Junko leaned back in her seat and massaged her forehead as the Firestorm's heavy assault machine gun tore apart the cars viciously, leaving twisted, hole-ridden hulks of scrap wherever its aim wandered.  
  
The redhead sighed. "Dammit! This is just what I need..." Putting pressure on the gas, Junko rolled over the flattened remains of the cars that had previously barred her progress, and speedily made her way to headquarters.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma licked his lips thoughtfully as he tested the weight in his hand, and thought of the different vectors of travel. Rotating the large metal disk in his hands experimentally, he cast a final glance at the eager retriever of the saucer before tossing his arm back and then swinging it forward, releasing the heavy steel object in a graceful curve that arced to the side as it glided through the parking lot.  
  
Grace, however, could not save the ill-fated toy.  
  
*Krangk!!*  
  
Ranma winced at the sound of teeth rending steel as Hunter pounced fiercely on the flying object, clamping down hard and bringing it down to the asphalt of the parking lot.  
  
Ranma quickly jogged up to Hunter and began to snap his fingers rapidly, at which point the beast stopped tearing the metal disk apart and let it drop onto the ground.  
  
Picking up the utterly twisted and mutilated saucer, Ranma sweatdropped before turning back to the others and holding the decimated object in the air. "Looks like we need another manhole cover, guys!"  
  
Tiro groaned. "Another one? Can't we just, you know, not play frisbee with Hunter any more?"  
  
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Tiro, it's very important for pets to get some good exercise, you know."  
  
"But those things are heavy!" Tiro complained, pointing to a small pile of twisted-up iron disks. Most of them were manhole covers, but there were a few, almost unrecognizable shards that were once hub caps. Needless to say, the thinner, lighter objects hadn't held up quite as well to Hunter's mighty jaws.  
  
Kyle scratched his chin in thought. "Well, Snake has some spare armor plates set aside in the garage for the Rhino. Will those work?"  
  
Sakura blinked. "I don't think so. Those are square, not circular."  
  
"Do you think it really makes a difference to him?" her brother remarked drolly, jabbing a thumb at the killer alien.  
  
"Attention!"  
  
All the DA officers present turned sharply at the voice, and found Asuka standing at the back door to headquarters.  
  
They all spent a moment staring at her quizzically, and the Captain sighed.  
  
"That means stand up straight."  
  
They all quickly did so.  
  
Asuka cleared her throat, and then strolled over to her subordinates, hands clasped behind her back.  
  
"I know that it seems like a long time since we've done any actual, regular work, but today we have to get back in gear." She began pacing back and forth before the row of officers. "Saotome, you'll go on patrol with lieutenant Tekai..."  
  
Hunter, who was wondering why he had stopped being the center of attention, had walked up next to Ranma and had begun nudging the martial artist with his metal-hard head. While Ranma was doing his best to ignore the beast, he had noticed that Hunter's tail had settled directly over Asuka's path.  
  
"Uh, Cap-"  
  
"Tiro, I want you to go on patrol with Sakura, and you had BETTER NOT goof off like last time!" Tiro gulped as Asuka glared at him, and neither noticed what was happening on the ground until it was too late.  
  
Hunter jerked as Asuka's heavy boots fell onto his well-armored tail, and it apparently disturbed him just enough for him to bare his teeth and growl menacingly.  
  
"Ggggraaugh!!"  
  
Asuka looked down sharply, not even bothering to see what was wrong. "Don't. Even. Think about it."  
  
Hunter's red eyes blinked, and he whimpered slightly and ducked his head down.  
  
Everyone stared. Kyle whistled.  
  
"Wow. The tables turned pretty quickly there, huh?"  
  
Asuka snorted, and removed her foot from over Hunter's tail. "He's just an oversized dog. You just need to let him know who's boss."  
  
"Just an oversized dog with an extra pair of arms," Tiro ventured.  
  
"And claws," Sakura added.  
  
"And an insatiable hunger for human flesh..." Ranma muttered, more to himself than anyone else.  
  
Asuka was just about to wrap up her briefing, when the squeal of car tires attracted everyone's attention, and a new car entered the parking lot.  
  
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "So Chikiko decided to come after all. Let's see what excuse she has for us."  
  
Nobody said anything further, and they all watched with a sort of morbid, detached interest as Junko parked her car and hurried out to meet everyone.  
  
"Miss Chikiko, you're late," Asuka remarked, as if just realizing it.  
  
Junko nodded, and seemed somewhat out of breath. "Yeah, I know, but this is important! I think Snake's gone crazy! He's taken off on a homicidal rampage and he's running around and killing people!"  
  
They all stared at her.  
  
"Well THERE'S a news flash," Ranma remarked sarcastically.  
  
"I mean in a BAD way!" Junko urged, frustrated.  
  
The assembled officers blinked, and began to exchange worried looks.  
  
"Tell me what you saw," Asuka commanded, fingering her lips thoughtfully.  
  
Junko nodded. "I was on my way here when this big tank with a huge cannon attached to the side, in addition to the one on the turret, just blasted its way through an intersection! Then Snake appeared at the top, and started cutting up everything with a minigun!"  
  
"Damn it!" Asuka spat. "Not only has he lost it for real, but he has his new toy with him."  
  
As the others exchanged worried glances, Asuka began to pace again.  
  
Junko sighed deeply, regretting that she had to bear the news. Then she noticed that something was amiss. "Ranma, why is there a zergling next to you?"  
  
Kyle blinked. "Zergling? How come you know what it is?"  
  
Junko shrugged. "I used to date this one guy who like video games more than sex. Nice guy, but it was so BORING!"  
  
"All right, that's enough." Asuka stated, causing the assembled officers to stand at attention again. Looking back and forth across the row, she sighed.  
  
"Obviously, our priority in this case the safety of civilians and the preservation of the city. Meaning that Snake is going down, and going down hard. Is there any here who feel they are unable to shoot, and kill, a former friend?"  
  
Ranma raised his hand. Everybody stared at him. He stared back.  
  
"Oh, come on! I can't be the ONLY one who has a problem with this! Not even you, Sakura?"  
  
Sakura shrugged. "Well, he started it." The other officers, except Asuka, nodded in agreement.  
  
The police captain rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she looked at Ranma. "Then again, I'll bet you could disable Snake without killing him, couldn't you Ranma?"  
  
Ranma nodded. "Sure! Just get me close enough and give me some time!"  
  
Asuka nodded. "Okay then. If you get to him before one of us do, he's all yours."  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "You're too kind. You've only known the guy for how many years?"  
  
Asuka gave him an annoyed glance. "Don't start that with me. This is a critical situation, and I can't let things like that affect my judgment." She turned away, and began leading everyone into the headquarters. "Besides, I've expected him to snap for a LONG time now."  
  
There was little everyone could do but nod to that, and they all continued to follow her into the garage.  
  
Asuka slammed the door to the main garage open and quickly stepped through, shaking her head sadly when she saw the vacant spot that had previously held the DAPC's latest weapon of major destruction.  
  
Then she noticed that Tycho was sitting cross-legged in a corner of the garage, with an unidentifiable pile of junk in front of him.  
  
"Tycho! Have you seen Snake?" Asuka asked, frowning.  
  
"Nope," Tycho replied automatically, looking over what he had built so far.  
  
Asuka's frown got deeper. "So he just took the tank without you even noticing?"  
  
Tycho blinked slowly. "The tank is missing?"  
  
Everybody present sweatdropped, and Asuka sighed.  
  
"Never mind. We're taking the Rhino," Ranma and Kyle stepped ahead of the group to open the heavy doors to the transport, when Tycho spoke up again.  
  
"No you're not."  
  
Asuka blinked. "Why not?"  
  
Tycho picked up a bolt and looked at it closely. "Rhino's not running right now."  
  
"It's not? What happened?"  
  
Tycho sighed, and let the bolt drop and fall back into the pile of tiny bits of metal. "A few nights back I came out here, removed the Rhino's radiator, and melted it down and left it in a puddle to cool outside my house. Then I took some cement and set it in both the exhaust pipes. After that, I drained the fuel and filled the tanks with red wine, before I finally took out the entire engine and did some stuff to it."  
  
Kyle blinked. "Stuff? What did you do?"  
  
Tycho shrugged. "I don't remember, but whatever it was, it was very thorough." He pointed down at the collection of metal at his feet.  
  
Asuka stared at the pile of junk metal. Tycho seemed to have been working on fixing what he had done, and there was now a single pipe connected to a small metal box that had some wires sticking out of it.  
  
She looked up at Tycho, her expression leaden. "WHY?"  
  
Tycho blinked. "Why? ...... I don't know. I was drunk."  
  
'I will not kill Tycho, I will not kill Tycho, I will not kill Tycho... one fellow officer in a day is plenty...'  
  
Asuka turned toward her subordinates. "All right, change of plans. Chikiko, you're with Sakura. Tekai, you're with Yamazaki. You'll take the squad cars out and follow us to the hotspot."  
  
Junko sweatdropped. "Squad cars... against a TANK?"  
  
Asuka sighed. "We have to work with what we have. Don't worry though, you're not to engage Snake until he exits the tank... assuming that happens, of course." She turned toward Ranma. "You're with me Saotome. We're taking the Nighthawk."  
  
"The what?" Ranma muttered, following Asuka.  
  
As the garage doors rumbled open, she led him to the far side of the garage. "You remember way back, when you had just started here, the attack cycle that Wattai totaled?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "No."  
  
"Well, whatever," Asuka muttered. "Here it is anyway."  
  
It looked sleek enough, Ranma observed, almost like something out of a Batman movie. It was all black, with a large shield mounted on the front that curved back to cover the sides of the driver. It also had quite a few miscellaneous attachments, many of which Ranma assumed to be weapons.  
  
Asuka slipped a crash helmet on, and then sat on the large seat of the motorcycle, sliding forward into the grooves meant for the driver.  
  
Ranma scratched his head and shrugged. Climbing on behind her, he slid forward and wrapped his arms around Asuka's waist, like he always saw people do on TV.  
  
She looked back at him. "Aren't you going to put on a helmet?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "What for?"  
  
She stared at him through the shaded visor for a few seconds, then shook her head and turned forward again. "Right... you'll probably just flip away or something if we get in an accident, huh?" She gunned the engine, and Ranma jerked backward as the bike glided out of the garage.  
  
"Uh... I guess... why?"  
  
"Never mind," Asuka said. "We'll actually be very lucky if we end up getting hurt by accident." Asuka hit a button on the dash as she slipped into traffic, sliding from one lane to the next to pass the cars in front of her.  
  
"This is Captain Takami guys. Junko, where did you see Snake last?"  
  
*Psssht* *Going east downtown. Down the main roads, it seemed. The guys on the radio say those areas have been evacuated and Core soldiers are moving in.*  
  
Asuka changed lanes to get alongside an 18-wheeler, and sped up to pass. Despite being a motorcycle, the armor plates and protrusions mounted on the side actually gave the Nighthawk a profile comparable to a small car.  
  
"All right, we're going in hot. Me and Saotome are going to try and get in first and draw some fire, hopefully get a feel for the situation without getting ourselves killed. I want you guys to follow my lead, but try to stay out of range while Snake's still got a tank gun under his control."  
  
*Do you think we really stand a chance against Snake?* Kyle's voice wandered over the radio.  
  
Asuka frowned underneath her helmet. "He's only one man, Kyle." She switched off the radio, and Ranma noted that her grip on the handlebars tightened.  
  
"You didn't answer his question," Ranma noted.  
  
"That's because I don't have an answer," Asuka replied neutrally, and then gunned the Nighthawk's engine as she sped downtown.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
John Remerick took another long look over the forces that made up the blockade, and then turned back to Mia.  
  
"It looks like we're as ready as we'll ever be. Do we have a positive ID on the driver?" He asked the last question with a bit of hope, which his assistant was honestly rather disappointed to see.  
  
"Yes," Mia sighed, "It's definitely Snake, from the DAPC. Colonel Tekai has tried to notify them of the situation, but he says that the only person he could get a hold of was too drunk to communicate with."  
  
John tried to hide his satisfaction, he really did, but there was just something about the situation that seemed to scream out that this was what he had predicted would happen and warned against. The whole scenario; Snake going crazy and running around in an illegally acquired tank, the DAPC nowhere to be seen... It all just made too much sense.  
  
"I told them. I told everyone. The DAPC is a menace and a threat," the general muttered to himself, but loud enough for his highest-level officers to hear. "Now I'm right. God help us all, I'm right."  
  
He turned once again toward Mia. "Colonel Tokima, contact the other blockades and get a status report. This man will NOT escape alive!"  
  
Mia nodded and turned toward the communications van, while John's other officers stood at attention.  
  
The blockade was an almost solid row of guns and armor. Core soldiers knelt among APCs and tanks in their ghastly protect-gear, heavy machine guns and rocket launchers leaning against their shoulders. M-1 tanks, purchased from the American military, were lined up next to each other across the width of the street, creating a wall of armored death. Merely one of four, of course.  
  
All to kill one man.  
  
John felt a sudden chill go down his spine, and he frowned deeply. Suddenly, something seemed wrong. It wasn't anything he could point out; merely an instinct. And yet, it was his instincts that had saved his life so often on the battlefield, and made him a general in the first place.  
  
"Sir!" Mia shouted, rushing up to her commander. "Blockades two and four report that everything is ready and waiting! Blockade three, however..." she bit her lower lip as she hesitated, a signal that John knew meant that she was nervous. "Blockade three isn't responding. We can't communicate with them at all, and none of our communications relays can detect their comm unit."  
  
Another colonel turned toward her, surprised. "Is there some kind of interference?"  
  
"Yeah, being dead can usually 'interfere' like that," John spat.  
  
The man looked shocked. "Dead? The entire blockade?!"  
  
The general snorted. "I'm sure there were a few survivors. Our men are the some of the best out there, after all." He sighed deeply, massaging his forehead as he looked down at the concrete walk underneath him. Whatever minor satisfaction John felt at being right about the DAPC and finally being able to do something about it was drained away as the full complications of the situation hit the general head-on. "Tell our forces to move out and meet at blockade two."  
  
Mia frowned, tapping her chin with her index finger. "Sir, I'm rather familiar with Mr. Yakata's file, and I must say that it's actually quite likely that he'll swing around and try to destroy the other three blockades rather than escaping."  
  
The looks of disbelief on the faces of the gathered colonels and majors were nothing compared to their expressions after they heard their general's response.  
  
"I know. That's what I'm afraid of."  
  
Mia blinked at the seriousness in John's voice, and felt her nervousness rise a few notches.  
  
Turning around to give the order, she caught a glimpse of a sunlight reflecting off a metal plate, and her ears picked up a smooth rushing sound. Both came from behind the blockade.  
  
"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!! MISSILES INCOMING!!!"  
  
It was not the orders they had been expecting, but Core wasn't said to be the best in Japan for no reason, and a split-second later, the soldiers were scrambling and hitting the dirt like upset ants.  
  
John hit the ground next to his Humvee, and looked back to see two white streaks flying in swirling arcs toward the communications van.  
  
*ShhhhhhhHHHH-KSHYAKOOOM!!!* The entire vehicle bounced into the air as a massive fireball swept it up, and the nearby soldiers were either knocked aside from the blast or peppered with hot shrapnel as the van's walls and equipment burst outward in blackened, flaming chunks.  
  
John didn't bother to look for the attacker before turning to the blockade and issuing his orders.  
  
"Infantry units, fall back! All armored units, hold position and return fire! Get those rocket platforms out of the-"  
  
*KABLAM!!!* A 140 mm. shell stabbed into the side of a Y-71 mobile missile platform, exploding with far more force as the armor-piercing munitions detonated the ammunition stores and blasted apart the thicker armor of the launcher.  
  
The Core soldiers all began to retreat behind the armor, firing the occasional burst from their weapons between the tanks that were quickly trying to reorient themselves to return fire.  
  
Mizu grunted as a metal plate flew from the wreckage of the Y-71 in a wild arc and slashed across her shoulder, knocking her down onto the asphalt of the street. She got up immediately, ascertaining that the shrapnel had not managed to get past her armor.  
  
As she was picking up her rifle, she looked at the heavy armored bulb that covered her shoulder and grimaced. A deep gouge had been cut into it, and she could actually see through the cut and make out the Kevlar padding beneath the metal shielding. She was glad that she had possessed the presence of mind to move her head when she saw the vehicle explode; she wasn't sure that her helmet could've taken the hit so well.  
  
*Boom!!* *Boom!!*  
  
Mizu picked up her machine gun and rushed away from the armor line, glad that the blockade tanks were starting to return fire.  
  
*KABLAM!!!* *Boom!!*  
  
She winced as the second Y-71 got tagged and detonated, though that only left the heavy armor for the rogue tank to fire upon.  
  
*Thoom!!*  
  
Mizu frowned from beneath her steel mask. That didn't sound like a tank cannon. More like an artillery report.  
  
*KA-KROOOOM!!!!* The ground shook as a tank turret was caved in from the explosion, blowing the armored shell open and tearing off the main cannon in a gigantic fireball that seemed to swallow the entire vehicle.  
  
Mizu watched at the resulting dome of fire swallowed two of her fellow soldiers who were positioned behind the tank, and she tossed her weapon on the ground as she rushed over to help.  
  
"Stay away from the armor! Back up and find firing positions! Fire at will!" A commander barked orders as missiles streaked from behind the armor line, all slamming with deadly accuracy into the seemingly unstoppable behemoth.  
  
As the fire retreated into the center of the artillery cannon's impact crater, Mizu pulled one of her companions away from the destruction, flames still licking at his charred protect-gear. A quick glance to the side revealed another soldier assisting the other casualty in a similar manner. The protect gear would have protected the men from the flames, but didn't adequately shield them from the force of the explosion or the searing heat from the blast.  
  
*KABLAM!!!*  
  
Mizu winced under her expressionless mask as another tank fell before the Firestorm's mighty cannons. This was going to be a long day.  
  
John cursed under his breath as he watched an artillery shell streak over the armor line and slam into the ammunition truck, destroying it completely and wiping out the resupply crews nearby in a single titanic blast.  
  
While the armor line was faring better than the lighter vehicles, they simply couldn't do enough damage to their attacker. Looking at the dark steel goliath, John could make out a number of malformations and dents in the heavy armor, but not a single sign of significant damage.  
  
*Boom!!* *Boom!!* *Boom!!* Another tank salvo went off, and another series of explosions momentarily engulfed the Firestorm.  
  
*Boom!!* *Kaboom!!* The rogue tank's gun blasted into an M-1's turret, damaging the main gun but leaving the rest of the vehicle intact. Through the shroud of smoke, however, the American general could make out the Firestorm's heavier weapon being raised at a calculated angle. *Thoom!!* *KA-KROOOOM!!!!*  
  
A major crawled up behind him, using the Humvees as cover. Not that Snake was firing at them, or that the lightly armored vehicles would provide them with any chance of survival if he did, but it was what they were trained to do.  
  
"Sir, we have to order an infantry rush! The treads are the weak point! If we can disable his movement, we can withdraw and call in some air support to finish him off!"  
  
John sighed. "No. Keep moving the infantry back, and have the rocket soldiers fire off the last of their rounds. Then order the tanks to retreat back to base down the street."  
  
The major gawked at him. "But... But sir! You can't possibly believe that he can take out an infantry wave with a tank gun and an artillery cannon!"  
  
"Not with those weapons, no," John admitted, sliding down the side of his Humvee to sit on the ground. "But I've seen a little more of the schematics on that tank than you have. The higher-ups actually have seen the plans for it already, but refused to invest money into making any more of them due to the sheer expense of a single unit." He turned toward his subordinate. "The Firestorm Mk. IV is designed to deal with any kind of direct threat short of a jet fighter, which is very difficult to utilize due to the number of very tall buildings in this area. In the case of an infantry attack, panels on the sides open up to release a four-rocket salvo into the oncoming units. The rockets each split apart into multiple warheads, and do damage over as large an area as possible." John sighed heavily. "Maybe if we could get behind him... but from the front, a lightly armored attack is nothing short of suicide. I intend to preserve as many of my men as I can, Major."  
  
*KA-KROOOOM!!!!* John ducked as a piece of armor plating whipped through the air, and grimaced as it cut right into the hood of his Humvee, digging deeply into the engine underneath the thinly plated cover.  
  
"So, how about that retreat?" John asked dryly. The major stuttered some kind of panicked response and ran off, leaving the general to fend for himself.  
  
After a few moments, and another tank explosion later, the infantry division was in full retreat, having round a corner further down the street to take their (comparatively) lightly armored soldiers out of the line of fire. The remaining two M-1 tanks had mobilized to try and avoid destruction, but the width of the street afforded little room to avoid the Firestorm's punishing weapons. They were not expected to make it far following the infantry.  
  
"Mia! How are we looking?" John shouted, jogging through the ranks of armored Core troopers as they found defensible positions among abandoned cars and trucks.  
  
The buxom colonel sighed despondently. "As far as losses among the soldiers, we're actually doing pretty good..." She bit her lower lip nervously, "but you saw the communication, resupply, and artillery teams blow up yourself. And I doubt any of the armored units are going to-"  
  
*KROOOOM!!!* The sound of the special-issue artillery fire was slightly faded as it boomed throughout the empty streets of downtown Tokyo, but it didn't stop any one of the men there from flinching badly.  
  
Mia cringed. "We've got to get out of here sir. We were hit too hard and too fast to mount a good enough attack to get through that armor. It's only because of your orders that we have as many survivors as we do."  
  
John nodded. "Right. Get Major Garuki over here. He has a cell phone. We can call central command and..." the general trailed off, and his expression twisted into a scowl as he looked past Mia's shoulder toward something down the street.  
  
The colonel blinked, then looked back herself, swallowing deeply when she saw the squad car riding leisurely down the street, the alien-fetus insignia of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment printed boldly across its front door.  
  
John stepped toward the car, adjusting his gloves and flexing his fingers. Mia sighed. Though it was clear that the DAPC, or at least a rogue element of it, was responsible for this mess, she still had to feel sorry for whoever was about to get the chewing out of their life.  
  
Of course, much of that last thought was slashed into little pieces and burned when Snake himself stepped out of the vehicle and waved to her commanding officer.  
  
"Hey Remerick! What's going down, man? What's with all the firepower?"  
  
John gaped and nearly fell over backward as he scrambled back away from the man who had just stepped out of the car. "The... wha... bu... ga... ther... they... bu..." Several of the Core soldiers outright dropped their weapons in shock, while others immediately raised them and aimed for the lieutenant's head.  
  
Snake blinked, and then looked from one end of the crowd of soldiers to the other. Every one of them was staring right at him. "What? Did I get motor oil on my face or something?"  
  
John twitched, and then unsteadily jabbed his index finger at the man before him. "Are you Ken Yakata?!"  
  
Snake blinked. "Last I checked. Why? There any other Ken Yakatas around here?"  
  
As one, the entire crowd of soldiers shifted their eyes to look toward a single man who was at the corner of the intersection up the street. That one soldier stood shock-still for a moment, then turned around to peek around the corner toward the battlefield.  
  
*KROOOOM!!!* The soldier flinched back, and then turned toward everybody else. "Looks like it! And he destroyed our last tank!"  
  
Snake blink-blinked. "What??" Confused, he stalked up the street toward the intersection, the gathered soldiers parting hastily for the lone policeman.  
  
Then he looked around the corner.  
  
"Hey! That's my tank!!"  
  
Putting a hand over his eyes, Snake squinted to see the figure that had emerged from the vehicle, and was firing minigun rounds into the dead armor out of pure spite.  
  
"Hey! That's my face!!"  
  
Mia put a hand to her head as a wave of dizziness overtook her. "There... there are TWO of them..."  
  
John felt like crying.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Vrrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!* An almost solid beam of lead drilled stitches into the charred armor husks of the demolished tank, a fierce, if not wasteful, battle cry of a fierce engagement waged and won.  
  
"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Suck lead, insects!! You're not worthy to fight me!! I'll wipe you all out!! All of you!! Every last one of you!! I'll-" Viper stopped his ranting as his breath caught in his throat, and he cut the engine to his minigun as a faint screech caught in his ear.  
  
His eyes narrowed as a sleek black shape turned the corner way down the street and began barreling toward his position.  
  
"I smell trouble..." Slowly, his frown curled into a grin, and he whirled the minigun turret around to face the incoming threat.  
  
*Vrrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!*  
  
Asuka reflexively ducked her head as bullets began pelting the general area of the Nighthawk Attack Cycle, the minigun proving somewhat inaccurate at such long range.  
  
*P-ting!* *Tang!*  
  
"Come on... Come on..." Asuka muttered as she pressed the cycle for more speed, the rapid fire from the tank bouncing off the Nighthawk's significant frontal armor.  
  
"Gotcha!" Asuka flipped up a switch on the dash in front of her, and then hit the button directly under it.  
  
Ranma felt the weight of the cycle shift as two metal boxes directly behind his legs shifted outward, and then angled themselves upward.  
  
*Fwooosh!* Ranma jerked back in surprise as a series of missiles erupted from the boxes, speeding up and then turning back down to streak toward the man atop the massive war machine.  
  
"Out of curiosity, was it Snake who acquired this motorcycle for us?" Ranma asked.  
  
Asuka jerked the motorcycle to the side, taking her out of the immediate stream of fire. "Yes. Ironic, isn't it?"  
  
*Vrrah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!*  
  
*Fwooosh!*  
  
Viper blinked as streams of white smoke erupted from the rear of the motorcycle he was attacking, and then scrambled back inside his armored shell, slamming the heavy hatch down atop him.  
  
*Boom!!* *Boom!* *Boom!!*  
  
The evil clone smirked slightly as the warheads pounded the turret. He was sure the minigun was trashed, but he had other weapons at his disposal.  
  
*Vrrrrrrrrooooooom...* Asuka sped by the armored hulk, observing what little damage she had done.  
  
"Well, that was probably our best shot to take him out right there. Crud."  
  
Looking back, the police captain grit her teeth as she saw the Firestorm's main cannon taking aim. Cutting sharply to the left, she cut most of her momentum and leaned. A 140 mm. tank shell sliced through the air right above her head, swiftly followed by the cannon report, and then the ultimatum of the detonation.  
  
*BOOOM!!!*  
  
*Scrrreeeeech!* Asuka turned around and began heading back toward the tank, sliding from side to side to make herself a harder target to hit.  
  
*Shoooom!* Multiple rockets blasted out of the front of the Nighthawk's armored nose, and white streaks turned into red fireballs as the warheads impacted the heavy armor.  
  
The cycle turned away from its course to meet the Firestorm head-on, and Ranma frowned. There was no way that they'd be able to take out a tank like this. A different solution was needed.  
  
Asuka's concentration, which was mostly focused on avoiding the pointy explosive things that kept being fired at her, broke when she felt Ranma's arms let go of her waist, and the weight on the Nighthawk shift.  
  
"Saotome, what are you-" She glanced back, and her breath caught in her throat as she saw Ranma jump atop the Firestorm, using the ruined minigun as a grip to steady his landing.  
  
"I should've known he'd pull something like this..." she muttered, bringing the bike around for another pass. Then she smiled a little bit. "I could really get used to that guy."  
  
Ranma made sure he had his balance as he landed atop the turret of the Firestorm, and then cracked his knuckles before grabbing a hold of the entry hatch.  
  
"All right Lieutenant... time to come OUT!!" He shouted, and then yanked hard on the armored plate with all his might.  
  
*Boom!!* The tank turret rotated and fired, oblivious to the intruder atop it. On the street, Asuka hugged the ground to one side, and the shell once again whipped by with less than a foot to spare.  
  
"Rrrrgh... ugh!" Ranma finally let go of the handle and fell back onto his rear, panting.  
  
"Okay, that was stupid," he muttered. "This thing was made to shrug off missiles, it's not like I could just rip it apart..." scratching his chin in thought, Ranma scowled. "Damn it! I'm just not strong enough! I'll bet Ryoga could've done it!" He was about to make a loud and mostly pointless vow to get "in shape" and bulk up a bit, when something about that last thought struck a chord within him.  
  
'Wait a minute. If pig boy was here...' He looked toward the hatch. 'Well, it's not like I've ever practiced the move, or even seen it done in a while, but if that dope can do it, so can I!'  
  
With that, Ranma stood up, and after flexing his hand, stuck out his index and middle finger.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So, wait, why aren't you guys out there fighting?" Snake complained, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, come on! You're supposed to be the best in the business, yet here you all are, hiding behind a bunch of buildings while my guys are doing the dirty work! Is this my tax money at work here? Give me a break!"  
  
The great many glares he received for the statement were mostly rendered ineffective, as almost all of them were delivered behind armored face masks.  
  
One soldier nearby John whispered to his commanding officer. "Can I shoot him anyway? I know he's not guilty, but we can make it look like a misfire later."  
  
"Hold your fire," John muttered, and then spoke louder to the irate DA officer.  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Yakat-"  
  
"Call me Snake," Snake interrupted, a slight smirk on his face. "The nickname just has a bit more... edge to it."  
  
John twitched. "I'm sorry Snake, but I've already lost too many men today because of that..." he gestured in the general direction of the conflict, "thing that looks so much like you. I intend to testify that you're not to blame for this incident, as was originally thought, but I refuse to allow any more of my men to die!"  
  
Snake frowned at the general's dead-serious expression, and then shrugged his shoulders. "Fair enough. Shotgun." He held his hand out in the general direction of the gathered soldiers, all of whom started casting each other confused looks.  
  
Surprisingly, or perhaps not, a single armor suit that conained Mizu Toketsu (not that anybody could immediately tell) stepped forward and tossed the lone officer an automatic shotgun.  
  
Snake snatched it out of the air, and nodded toward the ghastly iron figure. "Thanks."  
  
Mia blinked. "You're not actually going out there, are you?"  
  
Snake smirked. "That man took my tank, and took my face. And so I will take his life." *Cha-chung* He cocked the shotgun, and then strolled out into the street, letting it hang almost casually in one hand.  
  
Mia shook her head, and then turned toward her superior. "General Remerick, we have to stop him! He'll be killed!"  
  
Everybody immediately turned to look at her like she was insane.  
  
John just sighed. "You can't stop a man like that, Mia. Destruction is in his blood." He turned away. "Besides, so long as at least one of them dies, I honestly can't find it in my heart to care. This world just isn't big enough for two Snakes."  
  
His assistant began to protest, but the general turned away and shouted to his men. "Move out! We're going home!" 'And may God forgive the human race for what has transpired here today...'  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Don't look for the breaking point, FEEL the breaking point," Ranma mumbled to himself, eyes closed. His fingers were currently hovering over the entry hatch to the Firestorm, and Ranma knew he was running out of time.  
  
Whenever Ryoga used the breaking point, he never really concentrated on what he was jabbing at, and yet it always worked, so long as he hit rock or plastic or some other non-living matter. Besides that, it would work even when he missed what he meant to touch and poked something else instead. Therefore, Ranma had long since figured out that it didn't really matter where the 'breaking point' was on the object he was blowing up, it was all just a fancy ki trick that the body picked up by learning to focus power at a single point, or something like that. The whole idea of objects having a single, pressure-sensitive "breaking point" was probably just a load of nonsense that the Amazons had made up to explain the technique and teach it. Ryoga, being as dense as he was, probably didn't realize it himself. Hell, the lost boy never cared about how a technique worked, so long as it DID work, which had led to more than one major defeat in the past.  
  
*Boom!!*  
  
'But how did he do it then?' Ranma groused, squeezing his eyes shut tighter. 'Focus! Focus on the hatch!'  
  
*Boom!!*  
  
'I still can't see anything! If I jab it now, I'll just hurt my finger!'  
  
*Fwoooosh* *Thoom!* *Thoom!* *Thoom!* *Thoom!*  
  
'Waitaminute... if it's not an actual point on the metal, why am I focusing on the metal?'  
  
*Sha-KOOM!!!* A wave of heat rush over his body, causing his jacket to whip about in the air.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Ranma flexed his fingers once more before forcing himself to calm down. 'Okay, let's try this. Clear your mind... just focus your energy...'  
  
*BOOM!!!*  
  
'Almost there... I can feel it! Just a little more...'  
  
And then, it came. A single flash of light, a point, on the edge of his consciousness. Idly, Ranma noted that he was absolutely correct in his assumption; the point didn't correspond to the hatch, or any part of the metal, it was merely a focus point for the energy within him.  
  
*BOOM!!!* *Skeeee!* The shrill sound of metal scraping against asphalt filled the air, and the spark in the empty void that was Ranma's ki flared.  
  
'Asuka!'  
  
Ranma's eyes snapped open.  
  
"GAME OVER, TRAITOR!!! Bakusai Tenketsu!!" His fingers left a light blue streak as he jabbed them into the heavy armor of the tank entry hatch, and they sunk deep into the dark gray metal, leaving a deep impression in it.  
  
There was a bright flash of light from within the impression, and Ranma averted his eyes momentarily.  
  
Then, the light abated. And then... nothing.  
  
Ranma slowly withdrew his hand, disbelief etched across his features. "It... It didn't work? Bu-But I-"  
  
*RRRRRRRRumble*  
  
Ranma blinked as the entire turret began to vibrate rapidly. "Uh oh."  
  
*KAAAAA-BLAAAAAAAAM!!!!* And incredibly bright flash filled the street as the turret's armor literally tore itself apart, sending chunks of shrapnel flying in all directions. Buildings' windows in that section of the street spontaneously burst, showering glass among the deadly steel rain.  
  
*Wham!!* Ranma hit the ground hard from where he was thrown by the explosion, and then started rolling, unable to stop his momentum. *Smash!!* The concrete wall of an old office building did the job quite nicely, though, and Ranma groaned as he slowly fell onto the cement sidewalk below.  
  
Asuka held a hand in front of her eyes at the flash of light, and forced her mind to try NOT to think about how Ranma had done that. It was exercise she was getting better at, what with all the practice she got.  
  
*Smash!!* She looked to her right, and then gasped as she saw Ranma's body hit the side of a building. Obviously he hadn't been well-prepared for that blast, and she could even make out some shards of metal that looked to have embedded themselves in his chest and stomach.  
  
Finally freeing her leg fully from the now-inoperable Nighthawk motorcycle, the captain staggered over to where Ranma had fallen, favoring her right leg.  
  
"Saotome!! Hang in there!! I'm coming!!" Finally reaching him, she fell down onto her knees, and then looked him over, wincing. She was right about the shrapnel, though it looked much worse up close. "Can you still move?" She asked hoarsely, hoping more for a response than anything else.  
  
Much to her relief, Ranma groaned, and then opened his eyes. "I'm okay... I meant to do that."  
  
Asuka sweatdropped. "Okay? How are you okay?" She let his other comment slide.  
  
Ranma twitched, "Well, my left foot doesn't hurt," he moved his arms and began to push himself up, "much."  
  
Asuka pushed him back down, frowning when he winced. "Oh, no you don't Superman. You're staying here until we can get an ambulance."  
  
Ranma looked past her, toward the exposed chassis of the Firestorm tank. "I think it's a little early to be cutting out now..."  
  
Viper blinked.  
  
And blinked again.  
  
And again. And then again.  
  
But no matter how many times he blinked, the display in front of him was still gone.  
  
In fact, much of what had filled his vision just a few seconds before was gone. The display, the targeting reticle, the turret controls, the sensor relays, the TURRET ITSELF. All had just... exploded.  
  
The rampaging clone raised a hand, stuck a finger in his ear and twisted it, hoping the action might help to restore his hearing. That had been awfully loud. And rather destructive, if the total obliteration of the Firestorm's heavily armored turret was any indication.  
  
Of course, that brought up other questions. Like, how come he was unharmed? Looking around at the street, that was now in plain view, it was easy to see that the explosion spread debris everywhere on the outside, but not a single bolt had burst into the tank, where he was.  
  
Oh! Look! Police officers!  
  
Grinning to himself as he took up his shotgun, Viper decided that the reasons for the tank's destruction were unimportant. After all, it was gone now. Who cared why?  
  
Asuka blinked. "What?"  
  
Ranma grunted and pointed behind her. "Snake, he's still-OH GEEZ!!" In a move that surprised both of them, Ranma jolted to his feet in front of Asuka.  
  
*BLAM!!!* The shotgun blasted Ranma away as he took the hit full in the chest, and Asuka was almost bowled over as he flew back.  
  
"Ranma!!" In a practiced motion, she had her 9 mm. Baretta trained on Viper before he could cock his shotgun. "Suck lead, you bastard!!" *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
Viper threw himself to the side as Asuka opened fire, dropping his shotgun in panic, while also managing to toss something else. While adjusting her aim, the police captain caught sight of something flying in the air toward her, and responded accordingly.  
  
"Grenade! Shit!" Putting the safety back on her gun, she threw herself at Ranma and tackled him, using her momentum to roll the both of them away from the explosive.  
  
*BOOM!!*  
  
Asuka was about to get up and resume firing when Ranma beat her to the punch, lifting them both to their feet.  
  
Both Viper and Asuka's eyes widened.  
  
Snake's clone twitched, and he flipped another grenade pin out of its socket with his thumb. "Damn man, what does it take to kill you people?!" He backed up his hand to toss the explosive.  
  
Ranma's eyes narrowed. "It takes more than you'd think, Snake!"  
  
The clone blinked, and before he knew what was happening, there was a blurred fist heading toward his face. "What in the-" *Pow!!*  
  
Ranma grinned in satisfaction as the Snake look-alike slammed hard into the remains of the Firestorm, and then suppressed a grimace as his entire body flared in protest. He didn't even want to take stock of his injuries at this point; he had never actually been shot before, and he just KNEW that there was going to be some kind of stupid little complications involved that would manage to interfere with his fighting.  
  
Wait... didn't he have a grenade in his hand before?  
  
"Oh geez!" Asuka shouted, and Ranma whirled around just in time to see the armed explosive bounce on the cement sidewalk, and Asuka take a bad fall on her injured leg.  
  
"Asuka! Nooo!!"  
  
*BOOM!!* A concussion wave blasted up a cloud of dust and debris as the explosive did its job, and Asuka was thrown hard into a pile of rubble that had doubtlessly been created much earlier in the engagement. Ranma grit his teeth before clenching his hand into a fist and then turning back around.  
  
*Pow!!* A right hook took him squarely across the jaw, and Ranma staggered back at the blow.  
  
'What the hell? Snake was never this strong!' Ranma's mind swam as his entire body screamed in agony.  
  
Clumsy from his current condition, but still swift, Ranma bolted forward with a straight punch.  
  
To his complete amazement, his opponent deflected the punch with his right arm, and then slammed Ranma back with an open-palm strike with his left. The hit left the pigtailed officer short of breath, and after a few moments of trying to remain on his feet, Ranma realized that the Snake look-alike had actually struck one of the metal pieces still in his chest.  
  
Viper grinned, shaking his head sadly. "Does it hurt, boy? That's okay. It won't hurt for much longer." He picked up his shotgun that he had dropped previously, and slowly raised it at the struggling martial artist, aiming for his head. "Buh-bye now."  
  
*BLAM!!!*  
  
Viper's arm suddenly broke apart into a spray of blood, his shotgun going flying off to the side and the sleeve of his shirt seeming to disintegrate before the 12 gauge fire that had taken him in the side. The clone's eyes bulged, but he released no scream, no cry, and slowly turned murderous eyes to his side.  
  
Ranma finally let his legs collapse, and his knees hit the ground. On his enemy's arm, streaked with blood and torn from buckshot, was the cobra and barbed wire of the Freedom's Angels.  
  
Turning his head to look at his apparent savior, he witnessed his second amazing revelation of the day as Snake strolled up to the decimated battleground, both hands on his borrowed shotgun.  
  
Snake shook his head at the clone's glare. "Now now now, it's not very nice to be running around and causing chaos like that to ruin someone's reputation." He wagged a finger at the seething man. "Not that I have much of a reputation to ruin, but still. It's the principle of the thing." *Cha-chung* The shotgun was cocked, and aimed at Viper's chest.  
  
Viper sucked in some air, and then spat a bit of blood onto the ground. And then, ever so slowly, he stood up straight, letting the torn, bloody remains of his arm hang down loosely for all to see. "You don't have the guts."  
  
*BLAM!!!* Viper's body was tossed back like a rag doll from the blast, and Ranma looked away as the clone's body hit the ground, leaving a big red streak as it skidded to a stop.  
  
"Pfft. Whatever." Snake rolled his eyes, then walked up to the bloody corpse, shaking his head. He stared into his copy's eyes for a few moment, then looked to the side at the Firestorm, and then turned toward Ranma.  
  
"Saotome, I..."  
  
Ranma could see he wanted to say something, but the warning alarms that went off when he saw Viper's fingers move were more urgent. "Snake's still alive! I mean, the other Snake's still alive!"  
  
Snake blinked. "Wha-?" Then he whirled around, and his eyes bulged.  
  
Viper scowled as he pushed himself up off the asphalt, blood still leaking from his back. "I'm not... going down... that easy, you little-"  
  
*Blam!* The clone's head jerked to the side involuntarily, and then it fell back down onto the surface of the street like a lump of lead.  
  
"Who..." Ranma and Snake both jerked their heads to the side.  
  
Asuka stood with her handgun drawn, panting heavily and trying not to put any weight on her left foot.  
  
Then she staggered closer to the corpse, and took closer aim at the clone's head.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Click* *Click* *Click*  
  
Ranma and Snake stared at the scene wide-eyed as their captain finally stopped pulling the trigger, having depleted the remainder of the clip.  
  
Snake swallowed deeply. "Uh... please, don't mistake this for a complaint, but I saw that you were buried under the rubble over there... how did you know that wasn't me? Did you see me shoot him, or what?"  
  
Asuka sighed deeply, holstering her pistol, and brushed a hand through her hair before turning a considerate gaze upon her third-in-command.  
  
Then she snorted, and turned away. "Who says I knew it wasn't you?"  
  
Snake turned several shades whiter, and he chuckled nervously.  
  
Asuka didn't face the man, but it was very clear who she was talking to as she issued her orders. "Snake, I think it's fairly obvious that you weren't responsible for this, but I'm still rather upset about this whole situation. So if you would make yourself useful and contact an ambulance for Cadet Saotome, it would be much appreciated."  
  
Snake gulped and saluted quickly. "Ye-Yes ma'am!"   
  
Ranma craned his neck, one of the few muscles that didn't feel like it was on fire, to watch as Snake ran off toward his car, and then turned back toward Asuka.  
  
"You saw the cobra tattoo on that guy's bicep, didn't you?"  
  
Asuka smiled. "Oh, hush. He deserves a little stress after what we just went through."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"And then he SHOT you? That's horrible!" Sakura exclaimed, hugging Ranma's arm a little tighter.  
  
Ranma chuckled and shrugged. "Eh, it wasn't that bad. It was really the pieces of metal jammed in my ribcage that hurt." The pigtailed man was currently reclining in an office chair, surrounded by everyone but Asuka and Hunter (the latter of which was supposedly out chasing cars, or some such nonsense). He wasn't wearing a shirt, which showed the heavy bandages wrapped around his chest, stomach, and around his head. He also had gauze around his left arm, but had insisted that he didn't really need it. Sakura was cuddled against his right arm, squeezing it for all it was worth, while Junko had volunteered to give him a shoulder massage. All in all, it was a much better than the treatment he got from his fiancees back in Nerima when he had been put in the hospital after that whole Reversal Jewel fiasco (they never did really explain that whole mess to him).  
  
"Okay, what I'M wondering is how the hell you blew off the tank turret. You never really explained that," Kyle muttered, scratching his head.  
  
"And when I find a way to explain in words you can understand, you'll be the first to know," Ranma said drolly, leaning back into his pillow. When he realized that it wasn't a "pillow" so much as "Junko's chest", he jerked his head right back up. Not that she seemed to mind, but it was the principle of the thing.  
  
*Ahem*  
  
Everyone in the room turned to look at Asuka as she entered the room, clearing her throat. For some reason, the captain looked embarrassed, which was not lost on Snake as she deliberately stood in front of him.  
  
"Snake... I've done a little thinking about it, and... well... I wanted to apologize."  
  
Everyone in the room blinked and exchanged glances.  
  
Asuka continued. "When I heard about the situation, I was overly quick to judge, and was far too willing to use lethal force against you, a fellow officer who I've known for some time now." She sighed, and lowered her head, unable to continue to meet his gaze. "When I look back, Saotome was the only one willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, and I'm ashamed at how readily the rest of us prepared to hunt you down."  
  
Everyone around Ranma winced, and slowly lowered their heads guiltily.  
  
Well, except for Tycho. "Hey, don't forget me! I was too high on gasoline fumes to know what was going on!"  
  
"Right. Saotome and Wattai," Asuka muttered dryly. "My point is, I'm sorry, and I hope you'll forgive me." She bowed low, and Snake could only blink in astonishment.  
  
Then the DAPC's weapons officer shook his head, smiling. "Asuka... don't worry about it! Of course I forgive you!" He turned around to look at the rest of the officers. "I forgive all of you! I mean, seriously! It did look pretty bad, but you were all just doing your jobs!" He grinned. "Besides, we're talking about ME. Your reactions were more than reasonable."  
  
The entire room began chuckling.  
  
Snake's grin widened. "And if it makes you feel any better, had I been in your position, I wouldn't have even HESITATED to gun down each and every one of you!"  
  
The chuckles suddenly became far more nervous.  
  
Asuka sweatdropped, but patted the lieutenant on the shoulder. "Well, the important thing is that you forgive us." Then she turned toward the rest of the room. "So, who's up for pizza? My treat!"  
  
"Yahoo!!"  
  
"Whoopee!"  
  
"Score!!"  
  
"Pardon me..."  
  
Everyone stopped cheering at the polite, but firm voice that they did not recognize, and slowly turned toward the entrance to the room.  
  
Standing there was a man in a formal business suit, carrying only a manila folder with some papers in it.  
  
Asuka frowned. "Can I help you?"  
  
The man nodded. "Yes, thank you. Where can I find the captain of this squad? A Ms. Asuka Takami?"  
  
Asuka nodded back. "Speaking."  
  
The man pursed his lips and looked around at the other people in the room, as if unhappy that he'd have to speak in front of anyone but Asuka herself. "I see... well then, best get this over with."  
  
Asuka blinked as the man opened the folder under his arm, and took out one of the papers. "What's this about?"  
  
The man sighed, then straightened, and said in his most professional voice, "I'm from the government. I've been ordered to inform you that the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment has been officially disbanded. You're fired."  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Terrorists butchered: 24  
  
Core soldiers massacred: 64  
  
Miscellaneous military personnel toasted: 21  
  
Civilians slaughtered: 71  
  
Terrorist clones sliced 'n diced: 1  
  
Scientists devoured by inane running gags: 1  
  
End Chapter 11 


	12. Repurcussions

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the computer I'm typing this on, the clothes that I'm wearing, and the jar of stolen souls that I keep hidden under a copy of the Star Wars Encyclopedia. And if some guy inscribed an unholy symbol upon your chest while you were sleeping and now your soul is gone, I don't know anything about it.  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Repercussions  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Asuka stood gaping, completely taken with shock.  
  
"D... Disbanded? What?! That can't be right!"  
  
Everyone else stared at the government official with varying levels of shock and anger.  
  
"The hell?!" Snake shouted, stepping forward and jabbing a finger at the well-dressed man, "You'd better get your story straight, twit! That wasn't me blowing up people who might not have deserved it, and we have the corpse to prove it!"  
  
Ranma turned to Sakura and whispered, "Hey, what'd we do with that corpse, exactly?"  
  
"Well, first we gave it to Yamma," Sakura whispered back, "and then he cut it apart some and said he put it in the big freezer where Seras keeps his booze. And then Seras saw it and thought someone bought some raw meat to feed to Hunter, so..."  
  
Ranma sighed.  
  
The official looked distressed as Snake glowered at him angrily. "Now, wait, I-"  
  
The lieutenant turned away. "Figures that ass Remerick would pull a stunt like this. And after he stabs us in the back, he's probably going to try and take my tank too!"  
  
Kyle blinked, then scratched his head. "But wasn't the tank totaled?"  
  
"Nah, not completely. The turret was completely obliterated, but I just sent it in to the guys who made it. They'll have it up and running in no time." Then Snake glared at the messenger. "Not that it matters NOW."  
  
"That rat bastard of a general can't do this to me!" Asuka ranted, "After I nearly got myself killed saving his pitiful little Core division, I can't believe that pencil-pushing twerp would... he can't... I'm going to hunt him down and rip his legs off!!"  
  
"Would you all please calm down and listen?!" The messenger shouted, obviously distressed.  
  
The man gulped and immediately regretted his outburst as the room's attention immediately focused on him.  
  
He sighed. "Look. General Remerick had nothing to do with this. In fact, he issued a very clearly worded statement that Snake was in no way responsible for the incident earlier today, nor was anyone in the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment." The man bit his lower lip as he paused, casting a slightly nervous look at Snake. "Actually, he's the one that put down a widely supported bill that would call for the complete destruction of Lieutenant Yakata's DNA, to prevent this incident from happening again."  
  
Snake's eyes narrowed. "That's Lieutenant SNAKE, insect."  
  
Droplets of sweat appeared on the man's brow, and he began to tremble involuntarily as he looked into the man's eyes, which he made himself swear had NOT taken on a demonic red glow.  
  
Asuka rubbed her forehead. "Please try not to agitate him. He's violent and ruthless when he's happy, but when he's mad..." she looked up at the man. "So if Remerick's not responsible for this, who is?"  
  
The messenger tore his gaze away from Snake's, and managed spit out a reply as he made sure his heart was still beating. "Th-The government at large, I guess." After a moment he composed himself. "While all charges of murder and damage against the DAPC have been dropped, it was noted that it WAS your equipment that was instrumental in the destruction of several buildings and vehicles, as well as the deaths of numerous civilians and military personnel. As a result, the calling for your department's disbanding has finally been agreed upon. You see, it's actually been on the table for quite a while, but any debates about it never solved anything, and not too many people thought it was that important anyway. This recent incident sort of changed all that. The DAPC is no longer recipient of government funds, and all its assets will be taken, especially the weaponry of an unreliable or experimental nature that seems to be quite prominent in your armory."  
  
At some point, the messenger's eyes had gone back to Snake, and the man swallowed deeply as he saw the lieutenant shaking with his fists clenched.  
  
Making eye contact proved to be a mistake, as Snake then lashed out and grabbed the front of the man's shirt before lifting him in the air before him.  
  
"SHOW ME THOSE WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE!!! I WILL TEAR OUT THEIR HEARTS AND REND THEIR FLESH!!!"  
  
"Geez! Grab him!" Kyle and Junko immediately tried to take a hold of Snake's shoulders, and Ranma jumped out of his chair and started to remove the government official from the officer's grasp.  
  
"I WILL BURY THEM IN FLAME!!! I WILL HUNT DOWN THEIR FAMILIES!!! THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH THEIR BLOOD!!!"  
  
"Rrrgh... almost got it..." Ranma normally wouldn't have had much trouble trying to loosen Snake's grip, but Junko wasn't very strong, and the arm that she was trying to hold back seemed to be going for the messenger's throat, which further occupied him.  
  
Asuka sighed deeply, her expression leaden. Then she slowly walked up to her subordinate and his victim.  
  
"Oh God!! Somebody help!! He's going to kill me!!"  
  
"I'LL DESTROY YOU ALL!!! YOU WILL DROWN IN FIRE AND LEAD!!!"  
  
Asuka brushed by Kyle, who was in danger of being tossed aside, and then ducked under Snake's arm.  
  
"THE EXPLOSIONS WILL BE SO LOUD THAT THE EARTH WILL TREMBLE!!! THE CRATERS WILL BE SO VAST THAT-Urk!"  
  
"Lieutenant Snake, calm yourself please. Additional violence will not help our case." She then removed her elbow from his stomach, and Snake involuntary lost his grip on the official's jacket, dropping him to the floor.  
  
Asuka calmly turned towards the messenger as the man scrambled backward on his rear, trying to put as much distance between him and Snake as possible. Unfortunately, he didn't have far to go before he hit a wall.  
  
"Are you SURE it wasn't him who killed all those people?" The man asked, still on his hands and knees.  
  
"Yes. You can see why he was chosen to be cloned, though." Coughing into her fist, Asuka's eyes took on a harder edge. "So that's it, huh? The DAPC is gone? And we're all laid off? Just like that?"  
  
The man tugged on his shirt collar uneasily as he slowly got to his feet; these people were scary! "Well, no. Not all of you."  
  
All heads immediately turned toward the messenger, and he fought the urge to fall back down.  
  
"Wait... what are you talking about?" Asuka asked, confused and a little bit hopeful.  
  
Feeling that it was best that he give what little good news he had, the official straightened his tie as he answered. "Due to excellent service records, certain former DAPC members will be offered positions in Japan's Central Organized Response Echelon, Core. They're making an effort to salvage what they can of this whole mess."  
  
Asuka's flat expression slowly turned into a small smile. "Core? Some of us are going into Core? You're taking the competent officers and giving them better jobs?" She clasped her hands together over her chest and looked up at the ceiling.  
  
Junko frowned. "Competent officers? Well, I mean, being completely honest, we only have two of those..."  
  
The messenger laughed, though it sounded forced. "Well, that's good, because we're giving two of you new positions.  
  
Junko, Sakura, and Snake turned their heads to look at Ranma. Kyle, Tiro, and Tycho turned to look at Asuka..  
  
'At last!' Asuka mentally gloated, 'At last I'll be able to ditch these morons, and get a real position! I'm a shoe-in for a high rank too! I'll bet I'll make sergeant within a month!'  
  
Ranma looked a more embarrassed, both because he felt guilty at getting saved when his friends were being laid off, and because he didn't feel as confident that the man meant him. "Excellent service records" of any type were not anything that he had been commonly associated with.  
  
The official recovered his manila folder from the floor, and then looked at a series of sheets held together with a paperclip.  
  
"The first officer was at the top of the list, and was actually requested prior to the decision to disband your department."  
  
"Yes! I knew it! All my hard work and unfathomable patience finally paid off!" Asuka squealed in delight, jumping up and down with her hands clasped together.  
  
The man sweatdropped. "Right. Cadet Ranma Saotome, I formally offer you a position within Japan's highest ranked military organization, Core. As a veteran officer, and due to your outstanding performance record as an officer, you will bypass basic training and go immediately to active duty."  
  
Ranma blinked, and then began to scratch the back of his head, unsure of what to say. Glancing around the room, he winced a bit as he saw the disgruntled looks he was getting from Tiro, Tycho, and Snake.  
  
"Well, I dunno... I mean, it's great that I've got a job already lined up for me, but it just doesn't feel right to accept this when most of the rest of you guys are being laid off...."  
  
The messenger coughed into his fist. "And upon signing on with Core, you will of course be given a 1,000,000 yen bonus to accommodate for the loss of your previous assignment and to lessen the burden of any relocation costs that you may have."  
  
"Which is why I really feel bad about accepting this offer like this!" Ranma finished, smiling nervously with his hand on the back of his head. Ordinarily, Ranma wasn't concerned in the slightest with money, but trying to live on his own had driven the reality of economics into his head the hard way. Hell, he didn't even have a place of his own yet!  
  
Certain people, however, didn't see it that way. "You traitor..." Tiro muttered sourly.  
  
"Hey now, that's not fair at all!" Junko suddenly stepped in front of him, and Tiro jumped back in surprise at the scowl on her face.  
  
The voluptuous redhead frowned deeply at Tiro, and extended the look to include Snake and Tycho in its effects. "I can't believe how childish you jerks are acting! Why do you think Ranma was offered this position and you weren't, huh?"  
  
"What are you talking about," Tycho said, "Ranma gets all the luck."  
  
"Oh really?" Sakura said dryly, poking the driver in the back and startling him, "and it doesn't occur to you that maybe he's EARNED his job protecting the peace while all you've done is violate traffic laws and trash our cars?"  
  
Tycho sweatdropped. "That's not ALL I've done... technically..."  
  
Junko smiled. "Exactly. Ranma got this opportunity by working harder than the rest of us and not flaking off. Would you want him to throw away his future and scramble around for a job like the rest of us just to make you feel better?"  
  
That caused the three men to wince, and they all looked down slightly, ashamed.  
  
Ranma smiled again, but less nervously this time. "Heh... uh, thanks girls. I mean, I really do feel kind of bad about this..." Junko just turned and winked at him, returning Ranma's smile to full nervousness.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Asuka said, turning once again to the government official. "So get on with it."  
  
"Oh, right," the man muttered, returning to the papers. "Let's see... here's the other one!"  
  
Asuka grinned and closed her hands into fists, almost shaking with excitement. 'This is it! This is my ticket to success! Look out, criminal scum, because you're toast now!'  
  
"Lieutenant Kyle Tekai, I formally offer you a position within Japan's highest ranking military organization, Core. As a veteran officer, and... uh... well, as a veteran officer of notable rank, you'll also go straight to active duty as well, and similarly receive a signing bonus."  
  
Asuka's happy expression froze in place, and her face slowly started to darken as little blue flames appeared around her head. "K... K... Kyle......?"  
  
Everybody else in the room, with the exception of Kyle himself, simply gaped.  
  
Kyle, however, walked up to Asuka with a pleasant smile on his face.  
  
"Congratulations, Asuka! I know you always wanted a chance like this, and I just wanted to say that you really deserve it! I'm rooting for you!"  
  
Very slowly, everyone turned to stare at him.  
  
"Uh, dude," Tycho mumbled, "he said Kyle. That's you, man."  
  
Kyle blinked, then pointed at himself in confusion. "Wait... oh yeah, huh?" Then he looked even more confused. "But why me?"  
  
The official dusted off his suit, and cast a worried glance toward Asuka, who was twitching slightly. "It's not my job to know, or care, for that matter, but I suspect it has to do with your father being a Colonel in that organization. However THAT happened."  
  
Sakura ran up and hugged her brother tightly. "Way to go Kyle! This is great!"  
  
Snake sweatdropped as he stared at the former captain of the DAPC, who was now trembling mightily. "Uh... yeah. Peachy."  
  
The official sighed as people started to congratulate the blonde man, and turned away to step outside. "Well, that's all I have to say. Goodbye."  
  
"What? That's it?" Tycho complained, "you just spout 'you're fired, except these guys', and leave? What about the rest of us? Don't we get severance packages or anything?"  
  
The man's expression went flat. "Well, you're not being charged or penalized for all the damage you've done, so if I were you, I'd take that as a 'severance package', and I'd quit while I was ahead."  
  
He turned once again to leave, but nearly fell over when he felt something suddenly grab a hold of his leg.  
  
"Please, wait!" Asuka cried, on her knees in front of the man, "there must be some mistake! Check the paperwork again! Call the people in charge! Anything!"  
  
The messenger twitched. "I'm quite certain there's no mistake. Now please, let go of me."  
  
"No! You're wrong! I HAD to have been promoted! You can't tell me that airheaded, irresponsible, blond lunkhead got the job that I had applied for! You can't!!"  
  
Kyle sweatdropped. "Hey!"  
  
"Well, she has a point, dude."  
  
"Okay, yeah, but still..."  
  
The official would have none of it, and began shaking his leg to try and get the former captain off. "There's no mistake. Tekai was given the position, and you were fired. Now LET GO OF ME!"  
  
Asuka felt her grip weaken, and finally loosened her arms so that she was knocked onto her back as the man kicked. "But this is my dream! My fate! My destiny! I'm a born leader! And you're passing me up for a guy who can't even spell his own job title correctly!"  
  
Kyle opened his mouth to protest.  
  
"She's got a point."  
  
Kyle's mouth closed, and he flushed slightly in embarrassment.  
  
The messenger looked down at the fallen woman contemptuously, straightening his suit. "That's not my problem. Though from my perspective, you look like something less that a 'born leader'." With a slight smirk on his face, the man immediately turned around and walked out of the main office into the hall.  
  
"Huh? WHOA!!! What the hell is-AHHHH!!! AAAAH!!! HELP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! IT'S ATTACKING ME!!! IT'S GOT MY-*Choke* *Gurgle*"  
  
The screams coming from the hallway were totally ignored as the former staff of the DAPC stared uncomfortably at Asuka, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor with her head down.  
  
Finally, Ranma stepped up and leaned down next to her, putting his hand over her shoulder.  
  
"Well, uh... look, I'm really sorry about how this turned out. You deserve this deal more than I do, but you were stepped over and that's not fair."  
  
The sulking bluette looked up at him, her features leaden. "Wonderful. So what are you going to do about it?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Er... well, I was planning to sit here and dump more pity on you until you just got so sick of it that you left on your own and the rest of us could stop standing around awkwardly."  
  
"Thanks for your honesty," Asuka said dryly.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Well, people tell me I suck at lying, so there you go."  
  
Asuka just rolled her eyes, and then slowly got up to her feet to face Ranma. "Well, I suppose that's that. Like Chikiko said, it really isn't right for me to get angry at a former teammate because he won't have to go through the ordeal I will." She stuck out her hand for Ranma to shake. "May you go on to bigger and better things, Ranma."  
  
Ranma smiled and shook her hand. "Thanks. I hope you find a good job somewhere, Asuka."  
  
Asuka let go of Ranma's hand, and then turned toward Kyle.  
  
"And as for you, I hope that you get gutted alive by a mutant while you're in the field."  
  
Everybody in the room sweatdropped.  
  
"Aw, c'mon Asuka," Kyle complained, "it's not like it was my decision! Hell, I know you're a better officer than I'll ever be!"  
  
The blue-haired woman frowned, then sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine. I guess I hope they only gut you AFTER you're dead." The former police captain then walked swiftly past him and out the door.  
  
"That could have gone better," Ranma muttered.  
  
"Well, this whole thing sucks," Junko said, arms crossed. "But I guess we've all got to deal with the cards we've been dealt." She turned to Sakura. "Hey Tekai, I can drop you off at home if you want. Then Saotome and your brother can go straight to Core headquarters."  
  
Sakura nodded, and then hugged her brother again. "Kyle, I'm going to go now. You be good, okay? And remember what I told you."  
  
Kyle sighed. "'Don't play with pointy things no matter how shiny they are, don't pick up broken glass, and don't put metal objects in electric sockets.' Yeah, I remember."  
  
His sister smiled and patted him on the cheek, then turned to Ranma. "Ranma, I... uh, I feel bad that we won't be working together anymore, but hang in there, okay?" Ranma nodded somberly in response, and Sakura only hesitated a moment before wrapping him in a warm hug.  
  
Ranma blinked in surprise, but then hugged her back after a moment. "Well, take care." Soon they parted, and the blonde woman smiled sadly at him before moving to leave the room.  
  
Ranma watched her go, until he felt someone tapping on his arm. Turning, he saw that Junko was smiling at him.  
  
Sweatdropping, Ranma raised his arms for another hug, totally unsure of what he was doing.  
  
Junko didn't seem nearly so hesitant, and grabbed the front of Ranma's shirt before yanking him down into a deep kiss.  
  
"Wha-Bu-Hey!" Sakura shouted, gaping as the vivacious redhead.  
  
Junko moaned slightly and wrapped her arms around Ranma's head, to which he graciously responded to by waving his arms wildly in imitation of a hummingbird.  
  
Finally, Junko pulled her head back and released her victim, who immediately began panting for air. "Catch ya later, hot stuff." She winked at him, and, ignoring his haggard shell-shocked expression, turned to Kyle.  
  
The blonde man blinked, then extended a hand. "Well, I'll be seeinnnmmph..."  
  
Sakura's eyebrow twitched, and she crossed her arms over her chest as Junko engaged liplock with her brother. "Are we going, or are you just going to make out with everyone here first?"  
  
The redhead slowly disengaged herself from Kyle, who, though confused, had just started to get into it. Then she turned away and walked into the hall, giggling. "What's the matter, did you want a piece of Saotome?"  
  
Sakura followed, fuming. "What was that about, anyway? You don't just walk up to somebody and kiss them like that!"  
  
"Your jealousy is SO transparent."  
  
Kyle stared for a long time after they passed, then straightened his jacket self-consciously. "Well... that came out of nowhere."  
  
"Right," Ranma deadpanned. "Anyway, it looks like we've still got jobs, at least." He glanced down at the floor, and then looked back up at his former superior. "Hey, since I'm getting the bonus and all, I figure I can finally move out of your place. After we drop by the headquarters, maybe I could go pick up my things and... uh, are you listening to me?" Ranma frowned as he noticed that Kyle was looking about himself in confusion.  
  
"Huh? Oh, yeah! I was just wondering where the guys went. They never said goodbye."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"One, two, three, HEAVE!!" Tiro and Tycho grunted mightily as they lifted the DA headquarter's backup power generator into the back of the 18-wheel cargo truck.  
  
Snake nodded, and then gestured them forward. "Wattai, you push it forward, and be VERY CAREFUL to place it so that it keeps the boxes of rocket ammunition from being knocked around. Yamazaki, you go get another locker of 9 mm. rounds to fill in that top space. Then fill the ammo closets with the tea boxes, like we did with the locker rooms!" Snake himself hefted a rack of heavy and light machine guns over his shoulder, and then carried it into the back of the Lipton truck, placing it on top of a number of crates of grenades.  
  
"Let's move, people! We need to loot this place ASAP! Wattai, you go up to Seras's labs and get all his booze before somebody tells him that he's laid off! He keeps it in a secret compartment behind the test tube cabinet that's activated by pulling down the jaw of the plastic skeleton in the far corner!"  
  
Tycho sweatdropped. "Everybody knows he drinks. And he still built a secret compartment to hide his booze?"  
  
Snake nodded. "And then told us all about it. But to be fair, he was wasted at the time."  
  
"Surprise, surprise..." Tycho muttered as he rushed up the stairs.  
  
"Hey Snake," Tiro shouted from within the truck, "is anybody going to notice that all this stuff is gone?"  
  
Snake snorted. "Please. I have a little more experience with the Japanese bureaucracy than you do. When they find out that all the weapons and gear has been replaced by boxes of tea, they'll file a report and send the report to a single disgruntled clerk who sits around playing computer games all day and staples the papers in his 'In' box together to make a roof for his cubicle."  
  
Tiro blinked. "Seriously?"  
  
"Oh yeah. In fact, he got that job because the last guy tried to make the roof with scotch tape, and it all fell down and crushed him like a roach."  
  
Tiro blinked again. "Oh. Okay." Then he frowned. "But, given that we're not even police officers anymore, isn't it illegal for us to even own guns now?"  
  
"Bah!" Snake scoffed, "laws are people who don't have guns!"  
  
Tiro thought about that for a moment, and then nodded. "Fair enough. Where do the .50 caliber belts go?"  
  
"On the right, next to the flares and plastic explosives. Wattai, you're back! Put the first case of rum next to the flamethrower fuel, and then go back for the second crate. It should be brandy, I believe."  
  
Tycho did as he was told quickly, and was running up the stairs for more within moments.  
  
Snake looked into the truck with satisfaction, his fists planted on his hips. Then he heard a scratching noise behind him, followed by heavy breathing.  
  
"Hey Hunter! How you doing, big guy?" Snake greeted pleasantly, then noticed that the zergling's mouth was dripping blood and gore. Closer inspection also revealed that Hunter had a big, blood-soaked strip of paper caught on one of his upper claws.  
  
"Yo, Yamazaki?"  
  
"Yeah?" Tiro called back, poking his head out of the back of the truck.  
  
"Wasn't it your job to feed Hunter?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but I don't know where to find live cows in the city!" Tiro complained, "I mean, can you even buy those here?"  
  
Snake shrugged. "I dunno. Actually, I was just going to tell you to forget about it, since it looks like he already ate."  
  
"Ah, I see," Tiro muttered, hopping out of the truck. "What's that on his claw?"  
  
Hunter nudged Snake's leg in an admittedly disturbing act of affection, and the former officer began to stroke the zergling's head crest as he removed the paper to look at it.  
  
"Hey, this is the notice that Saotome's recruited into Core... this is the same paper that government guy was carrying when he laid us all off."  
  
Both men stared hard at the bloodied paper, and then slowly turned their heads to look at Hunter, who was either trying to urge Snake to pet him harder, or was trying to clean the blood off his beak with Snake's pant leg.  
  
Slowly, they turned their heads back to look at the paper, and then turned to stare at each other.  
  
"Well, I can't imagine how Hunter got a hold of this thing," Snake commented off-handedly, taking out a cigarette lighter and holding it under the paper.  
  
"Yeah, real funny, isn't it. Doesn't really matter, though, I mean, what are the chances of us ever meeting that guy again?" Tiro laughed unconvincingly. "Hell, I'm not even sure if I ever saw him in the first place!"  
  
Tiro stopped laughing nervously, then looked thoughtful. "You know... I have a really annoying neighbor who I might not have ever seen before..."  
  
"Give him a few hours; I think that last guy gave him indigestion." *Click* *Click* *Fwoosh*  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Screech!* "Garasuka and 7th Avenue! Watch your step!"  
  
Wolf looked up as the bus driver called out, and pushed his sunglasses up to the bridge of his nose as people starting filing past him.  
  
As the last man walked to the front of the bus to exit, Wolf himself turned and stepped out onto the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets.  
  
While tracking down Ranma's past had proved interesting, it had been an amusing distraction at most. Still, Calvin couldn't help but marvel at how alike him and Saotome really were. Cut off from his past, and always facing forward; perhaps out of fear of what lies behind them.  
  
However, they were still on opposite sides of the law, which is why Wolf was hoping that he wouldn't have to run into the man again. Ranma seemed amiable enough, but he was a cop. And worst yet, he was a cop that could probably take him down. Just knowing that was something of a blow to Wolf's peace of mind. He had always thrived with the knowledge that he could pretty much beat any man or woman that came after him with a gun, and having that self-perceived aura of invincibility shattered had him a bit edgy.  
  
'Maybe I should find Igov, see what he's up to. He said he had a job for me... What the hell?' Wolf blinked and stared as several cars came shooting out of a nearby intersection, all in the same direction. This was followed by a number of people rushing the same way, many of them staring backward as they went.  
  
*Ruuumble* *Booom* Flashes of light accompanied distant explosions, and Wolf frowned as smoke began to rise over the tops of the numerous skyscrapers of Tokyo.  
  
Wolf stared at the smoke for a moment, then looked toward the setting sun before glancing at his watch.  
  
"It's getting late... still..." Sighing to himself, Wolf began jogging in the direction of the smoke.  
  
*Boom!* *Ka-krrrrrr...* The dust shook over the ground as the explosions continued on, and Wolf slowed down as he saw a human body trapped under a flat piece of concrete. Now that he was close to the center of the battle, he could see rubble everywhere. The streets and surrounding buildings were decorated liberally with bullet-holes and craters, and most of the cars had been torn apart by what Wolf had to guess had been assault weaponry.  
  
Running up toward the man who was trapped, Wolf grimaced. "Hey, you all right? You alive, man?" Getting no response, Wolf kneeled down and grabbed the edge of the concrete slab before throwing it aside with a mighty heave.  
  
Wolf began to dust of his hands, but then stopped when he saw what the rubble had obscured. The man on the ground had a line of bullet holes across his back in a diagonal slash that he couldn't possibly have survived.  
  
"Damn... whoever's causing this mess isn't fooling around. A heavy machine gun did this. Hm?" Looking over the man's back, Wolf scowled as he found a tattoo on the man's bicep; a cobra entwined in barbed wire.  
  
"FAs. Wonderful."  
  
*KAA-KROOOM!!!* The ground shook as another heavy explosion ripped through the nearby building, and Wolf turned as an avalanche of rubble began to rush at him from the parking garage he had stopped in front of.  
  
Leaping up quickly, Wolf backflipped in mid-air before landing atop a delivery truck that had its cargo trailer gutted out. Clicking his tongue, he observed the source of the explosion as a wave of dust and shattered cement washed under his perch.  
  
The building looked like it had been an extremely sturdy concrete bunker connected to a parking garage. And from the way the debris had settled, it looked like there were several stories below the ground, too.  
  
Another slight tremor shook the rubble on the street below, and Wolf watched more dust and soot shoot into the air as the shattered roof of the bunker sunk even lower into center of the wrecked compound.  
  
"Hmmm... the roof is fractured, but those explosions definitely came from inside. The fires, too." Moistening his lips, Wolf steeled himself and jumped from the truck onto the mountain of debris, darting from boulder to shattered support with cat-like agility.  
  
A final leap brought him over the edge of what was left of the building's southern wall, and Wolf scanned the top of the collapsed structure for any sign of further combat.  
  
Peering through the plumes of smoke, though, he was unable to find any.  
  
"I don't get it. No assault trucks, no police or government vans... something's just not right here..."  
  
"The smoke clouds your judgment, perhaps?"  
  
Wolf turned sharply at the voice, his hands already whipping out one of his butterfly knives. *Swip*  
  
The twirling blade cut through the air easily as it spun in a circle, beelining for its target on the edge of the rubble pile.  
  
The target snorted, and then shifted the bundle that he carried on his shoulder to block the projectile.  
  
*Clang!* Wolf's blade struck metal, and the knife was deflected harmlessly as it fell into the broken cement and steel below.  
  
"Your aim is true, but your attack lacks will."  
  
Wolf's eyes narrowed. Standing nearly 20 meters away and facing away from him was a tall, dark-haired man in a full-length trench coat, carrying a huge tied-up bundle on his back. Half of a cigarette hung from his lips, smoke slowly wafting from its glowing tip.  
  
"Turn around." Wolf commanded firmly, flipping open a knife in each hand. Taking a closer look at the figure in from of him, he could see that his coat had several bullet holes in it. Glancing at the rip he had made in the bundle, Wolf could see a flash of silvery metal.  
  
The figure did as he was commanded, and slowly turned to face Wolf, the bundle being held easily over one shoulder.  
  
Wolf raised an eyebrow. "And a crucifix around the neck completes the description. You're Rayden Shikodan, aren't you?"  
  
Rayden's flat expression didn't change, and Wolf almost felt himself flinch under the man's cold eyes.  
  
"Charmed, I'm sure."  
  
A quick look over the man's front revealed more bullet-holes, and the glove and sleeve of his left arm was soaked in blood as well.  
  
"Well, I'll be damned..." Wolf said, a bit impressed despite himself. Rayden had clearly been shot a number of times, but didn't move as if he was hurt at all.  
  
"Well now, that depends," Rayden began, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and crushing it in the palm of his bloodied hand. "You have me at a disadvantage. My reputation precedes me, but I do not know who you are."  
  
Wolf began to back away. If what he had heard about this guy was true, he wasn't in much danger of being arbitrarily shot, but this was NOT a man he wanted to deal with. Something about justice-minded freaks that answered blood and violence with more savage blood and violence just didn't make his day complete. "Oh, just your regular, everyday citizen, curious as to what the hell had taken out this whole bunker. What was this anyway, some mob hideout?"  
  
Rayden scowled at him, and took an aggressive step forward. "This was a laboratory and a biological production facility. And no 'regular, everyday citizen' can throw a blade like that."  
  
'Great. Me and my stupid reflexes give me away again.' Wolf took another step back. "Look big guy, I'm not looking for trouble. You just startled me, is all. How 'bout I just walk this way, and you can go back to killing evil sinners, okay?" Rayden's eyes narrowed, and Wolf winced under his shades. Apparently he had let just a little too much sarcasm enter his voice.  
  
Rayden began to walk forward steadily, his gait causing debris to shift at every step. "Your hands are stained with much blood, German. What does your conscience hide?"  
  
Wolf took a step back. "Hey, hey! I said I'm not looking for a fight. I've got no beef with you!"  
  
"The Lord's eyes and ears see and hear all," Rayden muttered, lowering his head as he continued stalking forward. "Whose blood have you spilled?"  
  
"I'm not hiding anything you Catholic nutjo-" Wolf's frustrated reprisal was drowned out by another loud rumble, and the mercenary stumbled a bit as the massive pile of debris beneath him began to shift mightily. "What the-? How many explosives did you put down there?! This place is already totaled!"  
  
Rayden frowned. "That was no explosion." Calmly, he reached into his trench coat with his left hand, and pulled out a large rifle that Wolf couldn't identify.  
  
Wolf raised one knife into a defensive position and prepared to let the other one fly. "I wouldn't do that if I were-"  
  
*Kroom!* Again Wolf was interrupted, this time by a massive form breaking free and rising out of the rubble below.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!?!" Wolf shouted, jerking back in shock.  
  
"Gyuuuuuu..." A high-pitched growl echoed from the shiny, featureless face plate of the K-series mutation, and the muscle-bound monstrosity reared a claw back to strike.  
  
Wolf leaped straight up over the attack, and let one of his knives fly before backflipping to gain some distance.  
  
*Thack* The mauler barely even noticed as the knife stuck in its armored head, and it began to walk forward slowly, lumbering over the uneven concrete slabs and steel supports.  
  
*Bloom!!* The wound that came of being shot in the arm with Rayden's high-powered rifle proved to be more difficult to shrug off, and the mutant howled as a significant chunk of blood and flesh was blown onto the floor of debris.  
  
"Soulless creature!" Rayden shouted angrily, smoke wafting from his rifle barrel. "Face me and be destroyed!"  
  
"Grrraaaauuuu!" The mutant flexed its claws as it turned, and then charged its attacker in a mindless bloodlust.  
  
*Blam!!* *Blam!!*  
  
"GRRRRAAAAAGGGG!!"  
  
Wolf, meanwhile, had made his way to the street by this time, and was in a full run away from the wrecked facility.  
  
'Religious freak and the mutant freak can tear each other apart, for all I care,' he thought. Normally, Wolf loved a good fight, but he was well aware of Rayden's combat style; mostly in that it involved a lot of shooting and explosives. Hand-to-hand combat to him could almost be considered a sport, or maybe even a game, but there was little of what he liked about martial arts in gunfighting.  
  
Really, the mutant was more his kind of fight, but honestly, just seeing it burst up so close to him like that had startled him quite badly. Besides, it would likely mean putting up with Rayden afterward.  
  
*BWEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO!!*  
  
Shifting his attention to the streets, Wolf noted that several police vehicles were heading to the destroyed facility, including an armored van marked with Core's special operations sigil.  
  
Wolf snorted and adjusted his shades as the cars sped off down the street and out of his sight. "Well, the cops are here, so it's time for me to beat it." With that, Wolf turned around and began jogging in the opposite direction.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
'Damn it, I barely get time to sit down after that whole clone massacre before they just make me suit up again. It's not fair...' Mizu grumbled under her breath as she sat in the back of the armored transport, the massive shoulder pads of her protect gear nearly rising over her head as she let herself slump deeper into her armor. Somehow the powered suit always seemed much bigger when she wasn't moving around in it, like a hermit crab's shell.  
  
"I can't believe they couldn't get division 3 to handle this," she muttered sourly.  
  
"Well, in all fairness, a quarter of division 3 was wiped out trying to hold that other roadblock," one of her companions reminded her.  
  
Mizu winced. She had forgotten about that.  
  
The engine noise began to die, and the Core soldiers began to pick up their weapons.  
  
"All right people, let's move out! Spread over the police line, and fire on MY signal!"  
  
"Helmets on! Move, move, move!!"  
  
Mizu pulled her air mask over her mouth, and slipped her hand under her hair to do the clasp behind her neck.  
  
The doors slammed open, and her fellow soldiers poured out onto the streets as she picked up her helmet.  
  
With a final grimace, she put the helmet on and slipped down the visor before taking up her autorifle and exiting herself.  
  
As the police and their cars formed a thick barricade across the street, the small group of armored troops spread out behind the formation, covering the rear as well as preparing heavier support fire.  
  
"Sniper teams, move into those two offices! I want to be able to kill anything within a 300-meter radius!"  
  
Mizu herself took up a position in the midst of the group, placing herself between two officers that positioned next to their squad cars.  
  
Noting with some amusement that the two men seemed rather unnerved by her presence, she reached for a switch on the back of her pack and pressed it, turning her visor on.  
  
Scanning over the explosion site, whatever conflict had happened seemed to be mostly over. The bombed building had already been reduced to an avalanche of rubble, and it was pretty obvious from where she was standing that none of the bodies lying on the ground were going to get up any time soon, if at all.  
  
One group of officers that had doubtlessly been sent on ahead to check out the bodies rushed back to their commanding officer at the barricade, looking rather spooked.  
  
"We don't have any ID yet on the bodies, but we've confirmed that they're Freedom's Angels, sir."  
  
"All of them?"  
  
"Yes sir. It's possible that a skirmish broke out between to factions and they massacred each other, but everyone out here's a terrorist. And it would seem not a single one survived, either. We'll have to start excavating the debris before-"  
  
*KA-KRROOOOOM!!!* The police officer was cut off by a sudden detonation atop the debris pile, and the entire group flinched back as a huge fireball set off a tidal wave of dust that blasted down into the streets below.  
  
Mizu held her ground as the unarmored officers ducked to the street or into their cars, being fully protected from the suffocating cloud. Taking a hand off her autorifle, she placed it on the side of her face mask, carefully manipulating the small touch controls for her visor.  
  
In moments, the snowy green panel before her eyes was replaced with a thermal heat display, and she quickly sorted through the array of colors to find a particular signature straight ahead.  
  
"There's something getting up in the dust cloud! Stay sharp!" She shouted into her communicator, and raised her rifle.  
  
"Hold your fire!"  
  
"Something's wrong! The heat signature is too big! That thing can't be human!"  
  
"I said hold your fire!"  
  
Mizu's eyes narrowed, and she switched her visor back to default mode, replacing the vague splotch of red and yellow once again with the haze of green imagery still hidden beneath the dust blanket.  
  
Slowly, the cloud began to recede, and a general wave of discontent spread through the group as a shape slowly penetrated the barrier.  
  
The officer on Mizu's left began to shake as he wiped dust on his face, hoping that perhaps his eyes were playing tricks on him. "Wh-Wha-What the hell is that?!"  
  
Mizu grimaced under her mask. The huge, muscular creature lumbering toward them was quite distinctive enough with its shiny, featureless head that Mizu could identify it from her briefings.  
  
"That's a 'mauler', an FA mutant," she said, her voice coming out in a raspy, hollow tone from the transmitter in her mask. Both officers immediately turned to look at her. "What I'm wondering is, what did that to it?"  
  
The creature lumbering toward them looked to be in rather bad shape, having suffered a large, grievous wound that had apparently taken off one arm and left large burn scars over the rest of it.  
  
The officer to Mizu's right leaned toward her slightly. "What's that leaking out of its shoulder?"  
  
"I'd like to say blood," the man on the left replied, "but it looks like motor oil."  
  
Mizu ignored them and lined up a shot at the mutant's head. The head was more heavily armored than the rest of it, but she wagered that her autorifle's rounds would be up to the task.  
  
Moving her hand once more to her visor, she hit her intercom switch. "Sir, target is in my sights. Permission to fire?"  
  
*Denied,* came the swift response. *The mauler is too badly wounded to be a threat at this range. A crew is on the way for capture and containment. Our objective for now is to find any wounded and secure the area.*  
  
Mizu thought about that for a moment. A live mutant sample would be an invaluable catch for her department, and ultimately in the battle against such biogenetic weapons. "Containment, sir? Is the DAPC in on this? Sounds like their job." 'Even if they're more into annihilation than containment.'  
  
*The DA? Hell no! They're not even around any more! They will NOT, nor will they ever be, part of a Core operation!*  
  
Mizu blinked. They weren't around any more?  
  
She was mentally debating whether to continue her line of questioning and risk a reprimand or just drop it for later, when her light amplification, which she had turned on as the sun had started to set, picked up a burst of light from behind the mutant, back in the part of the street that the dust still obscured.  
  
"Look out!" Mizu dropped to her knees, and saw many of the men and women around her do the same.  
  
*KA-KRROOOOOM!!!* The unfortunate mauler was lost within the fiery explosion as its body was torn apart, and the police squads shielded their eyes from the heat as a huge fireball was swallowed up into the air, blasting the blanket of dust away into the surrounding buildings and alleys.  
  
Mizu again didn't have to shield her eyes from the dust, and her visor readjusted for the sudden influx of light automatically, so she got a better look than most others at the figure at the foot of the debris mountain as it slowly wrapped a large piece of cloth around a large rectangular object.  
  
"Sergeant, are you getting this?"  
  
*I see 'im. Is that Snake again? I thought they laid that psycho off!*  
  
Mizu rolled her eyes. "No sir, that's definitely not Snake. He's too tall."  
  
The man had finished wrapping his parcel, and had slung it over his left shoulder. Though the explosion had blown much of the dust away, most of it had swept up against the walls of the surrounding buildings and subsequently been blown back into the streets. As it was, Mizu couldn't make out any more than she could from her initial glance, except that the figure was wearing a large trench coat that was flapping in the winds that kept the dust cloud aloft.  
  
*Oh, sweet mother of Jesus... please don't let that be who I think it is...*  
  
Mizu blinked. "Sir?"  
  
The walked forward slowly toward the blockade with his head down, the bundle held over his left shoulder and his other hand in his pocket.  
  
Soon he passed out of the obscuring dust, and Mizu frowned as she observed his features. It wasn't anybody she had seen before.  
  
The man stared down at the burning patches of gore that had once been a K-series mutant, his face like chiseled stone. "Such a horrific imitation of God's creatures. Has Japan truly fallen into the hands of devils and madmen since I had left?"  
  
Mizu couldn't help but sweatdrop. 'Bit of a drama queen, isn't he? And a slight Russian accent... could he be one of Yuchtzky's men?'  
  
Her commander wasn't so inquisitive in his observations. *Shit!! It is him!! All units take aim and prepare to fire on my mark!*  
  
Mizu immediately aimed her autorifle for the man's heart as her commander began to shout orders to the surrounding police officers, forgoing further use of the intercom.  
  
"Captain, get your sniper teams ready! Pull back those men in the front some more! Give me that bullhorn!"  
  
Rayden stared calmly out at the police barricade, noting all the routes he could use to get through. He noted the number of heavy machine guns along the left flank and his frown deepened, though he was glad that he had thought to dress some of his deeper wounds and remove most of the bullets that had hit him when he had had the chance.  
  
Honestly, he wasn't expecting this much force to be arrayed so quickly when the authorities had no idea what was going on, but given the recent news concerning mutant and terrorist assaults, perhaps he should have.  
  
"RAYDEN SHIKODAN, THIS IS SERGEANT YUJIKATA OF CORE'S 1ST HEAVY INFANTRY DIVISION!! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR MULTIPLE COUNTS OF FIRST-DEGREE MURDER, DESTRUCTION OF PRIVATE PROPERTY, ASSAULT..."  
  
Rayden tuned the man out and fished in his chest pocket with his right hand, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He slid one out and took it between his teeth, wincing slightly as the police commander raised the volume on the bullhorn in response to being ignored.  
  
"...BRANDISHING AND USE OF AUTOMATIC AND EXPLOSIVE WEAPONS, VAGRANCY, LITTERING, PARKING IN A HANDICAPPED SPACE, JAYWALKING, AND OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE!!!" Yujikata let out a deep breath as he finished reading the long list, and then crushed the piece of paper in the palm of his armored hand. "YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO DROP ANY WEAPONS YOU ARE CURRENTLY CARRYING... UH... PLUS WHATEVER THAT THING IS ON YOUR SHOULDER!!! YOU WILL THEN SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY AND SUBMIT YOURSELF TO ARREST!!! FAIL TO COMPLY, AND WE WILL OPEN FIRE WITH LETHAL INTENT!!! THIS IS YOUR FIRST, LAST, AND ONLY WARNING!!!"  
  
Rayden stared calmly at the array of officers, his unlit cigarette hanging freely out of his mouth. Then he let his left arm drop.  
  
*Clang!* The heavy sound of his bundle hitting the pavement sent a wave of flinches through the barricade. The corner of the parcel ground into the street for a moment, and then the entire bundle lost its momentarily balance and teetered over. *Thud!*  
  
Sergeant Yujikata blinked, and then put the bullhorn back up to his mouth. "SO... UH... DOES THIS MEAN YOU SURRENDER?!!"  
  
Rayden raised his left hand up, and flipped a silver-cased cigarette lighter around in his glove. "Obstruction of justice... a curious charge."  
  
The sergeant frowned. "What's he mumbling about?" he muttered, "I can't hear a thing from back here..."  
  
"One who furthers justice without the aid or permission of mortal law... I will not surrender, guardian." Rayden flipped the top of the cigarette lighter up, and placed his thumb on the switch next to the lighter wheel.  
  
"The hell? Did he just say he wasn't going to surrender? Then just what does he think he's going to do?"  
  
Mizu shrugged at the officer's speculation, though her shoulder pads were too heavy to move that easily and not designed to relay such a gesture. "I can only imagine that he's going to try to fight his way through."  
  
The man blanched and turned toward the armored behemoth to his right. "Are you serious?! There's no way!"  
  
"Oh, it's possible," Mizu retorted, still keeping her rifle aimed. "He might even think he can win."  
  
The man who had spoken before shook his head in disbelief, but was distracted when another officer pushed past him to stare at the ground.  
  
"Huh? Hey, what's wrong with you?"  
  
Mizu didn't glance at the man, being far too focused on her target. As it was, she noted that her target seemed to be debating something internally, and was idly rolling the open cigarette lighter around in his hand.  
  
"What are those things?" The officer asked, squinting as he peered out at the street in front of the barricade.  
  
"What are what things?" His companion asked, annoyed. What with all this drama, how could this guy be absorbed with some rubble on the ground?  
  
"Those things!" he pointed nervously onto the ground. "They're metal, but they're not debris or anything, and well..."  
  
Mizu jerked at that, and immediately moved one hand to her visor controls and switched to high-resolution mode before she started scanning the ground. This made the smoke and dust a much more prominent obstruction than in any other view mode, but if the officer could see it without a visor himself, then she should be able to find what he was looking at.  
  
Yujikata growled at Rayden's seeming idleness, and brought up a microphone that was linked to the Core intercom. "All units, maintain position and prepare to fire on my signal! We're burning daylight here, and I'm not going to wait any longer so that freak can make us sweat!"  
  
He then raised the bullhorn to his mouth. "RAYDEN SHIKODAN, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!!! PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND LIE PRONE ON THE STREET NOW OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE!!!"  
  
Rayden finally stopped rolling the lighter around in his hands and held it upright, lifting it at last to the cigarette that hung from his lips. "You have made your choice. I have made mine. It is for God to judge."  
  
*Flick*  
  
He was right.  
  
A long, haphazard line of uniform metal disks were spread out in front of the barricade. Each one was about the size and shape of a large cookie and were composed of a dull metal that didn't stand out very well among the debris. Each one also had four prongs along the outer egde that were digging into the ground, further dispelling the idea that they might be innocent chunks of metal.  
  
'But what are they? Mines? Or bombs?'  
  
At the thought of them being explosives, and being aware of the great number of explosions that had been reported surrounding the wrecked facility, her view quickly zipped back to the mysterious gunman in the middle of the street just as the man hit his lighter.  
  
*KA-THOOO-OOOO-OOOOM!!!*  
  
Sergeant Yujikata gasped as a line of explosions detonated in front of the barricade, sending many of those officers that weren't bogged down with heavy armor diving for cover.  
  
"Shit!" the man cursed, wincing as several spurts of gunfire went off into the new smoke cloud. Yujikata picked up his microphone and once again keyed it to the intercom. "All units, fire at will! Fire at will! I don't care if we take out the rest of the buildings on this street, but I want that man DEAD!!"  
  
There were many more reports as new weapons joined in the fray, though Yujikata knew that were all still shooting blind into that smoke cloud. He switched the keys on his radio.  
  
"Sniper teams! Can you see him?!"  
  
*Yessir! Clean shot here! Should we take it?*  
  
"Yes! All of you! Fire at will!"  
  
*Toom!* *Toom!* *Toom!*  
  
*Rattattattatttatta!!*  
  
*Boom!*  
  
*Rattattattatttatta!!*  
  
Yujikata grabbed up his helmet and mask and prepared to put it on, if only to drown out some of the noise from the multitude of weapons going off around him.  
  
*Choom!!* *Choom!!*  
  
*Toom!* *There's something wrong! I haven't dropped him!*  
  
The sergeant paused in putting his helmet on, and glanced toward the radio.  
  
*That's impossible! I got a clean head shot!*  
  
*D-Did the bullet j-just bounce off? I can't find an entry wound!*  
  
*Toom!* *Toom!* *This is crazy! He's moving into the smokescreen! We didn't even faze him!*  
  
Yujikata gulped as he turned off the radio, and then looked up into the billowing smokescreen as Core and police forces continued pouring hundreds of rounds randomly into the area.  
  
"Huh? What're those?"  
  
"Look out! Grenades!"  
  
Several small spheres began flying out of the smoke in high, lazy arcs before holes burst open and began pouring more smoke into the air.  
  
Yujikata groaned and rubbed his head. "Dammit, why couldn't Remerick take care of this? Just because he nearly got wasted by a rogue police clone this morning..."  
  
*Crash!*  
  
"Holy mother! He's coming this way!"  
  
"Shoot him, you imbecile!"  
  
"He must've taken a hundred rounds already! What makes you think another is going to stop him?!"  
  
*Too-too-too!!* *Too-too-too!!*  
  
Mizu sweated heavily as she continued firing her autorifle blindly into the street, already engulfed by the expanding barriers of smoke.  
  
'Keep your head, Mizu! You're nearly impervious yourself! Just calm down and try not to-'  
  
Her breath caught in her throat as a shadow quickly zipped toward her through the haze, and she found her autorifle smacked out of her hand before she could let loose another burst.  
  
She quickly reared back a punch and threw her fist forward, the synchronized micro-motors in her protect gear preserving her natural speed and nearly doubling the sheer force of the blow.  
  
*Pap* Rayden easily caught the punch, and brought his bundle down off of his shoulder to thrust it into Mizu's chest, throwing her back into another car hard enough to cave in the doors.  
  
Grimacing, Mizu tore her visor off with her hands, and ignored the sting of the smoke in her eyes as she looked up at her attacker, fully expecting to see him brandishing a gun or a grenade.  
  
Instead she saw him turn away toward the car she had been next to and scan the top of it, like he was considering its dimensions.  
  
*Zhooo* A bullet zipped by merely inches above her head, and Mizu flinched as she left her state of focused consciousness and once again became aware of the full chaos of the battlefield. Bullets tore through the smoke, their reports lost with hundreds of others.  
  
Ducking lower to the street, Mizu saw that her autorifle was lying just two meters to her left, and she cast a glance at Rayden before she slowly began to reach for it.  
  
*Ptang!!* The autorifle jumped away as the bullet struck it on the stock, and Mizu's hand jerked back in reflex.  
  
"Mortals are too quick to affirm their mortality. It is sad, but it is the way of things."  
  
Mizu gulped and looked up at the man who she was facing, seeing that he now had a smoking .50 caliber Desert Eagle in his free hand.  
  
Rayden let out a deep breath, and smoke blew out of the corner of his mouth to mix freely with the smoke from his grenades. "It is not your time yet, guardian. I will not have your death stain my soul. Such would be... unjust." With that, he turned around and placed both hands on the edge of the police car, as if he was going to lift it.  
  
Mizu felt a sweatdrop roll down her head. As he had turned away from her, she had glanced a silver cross around his neck. 'He's a Catholic... figures.'  
  
"Move away from the smokescreen!! Move along the sidewalks into flanking position!! Get those heavy weapons loaded!! Move it you pitiful maggots!!" Yujikata continued barking orders to his own troops for a moment, then turned toward the police captain. "Hey, what's the matter with your guys?! They're dragging their asses like they're half dead!"  
  
The police captain grit his teeth and turned toward the sergeant, trying his best to keep his anger in check. "My men aren't soldiers, Yujikata! They're detectives and traffic cops! Hell, half of 'em have never been in a real gunfight before! And frankly, I'd like to know just what the hell they've been dragged into!"  
  
*WHAM!*  
  
"Holy mother-LOOK OUT!!"  
  
The two officials jerked their heads toward the center of the fighting just as a police car broke through the edge of the smoke screen and sailed into the air upside-down, trailing smoke in its wake as it flew over the entire barricade.  
  
*CREEEEECH!!* Yujikata jammed his protect-gear helmet over his head to try and deaden the high-pitched screech of a metal roof sliding over rough asphalt, and growled as he realized that the firefight had momentarily stopped.  
  
"What the hell are you standing around for?!?! Don't stop shooting until your ammo's gone, idiots!!"  
  
"Wh-What the hell was that?" The police captain gasped out, confused. "There was no explosion or anything!"  
  
Yujikata snorted. "Aw, now the bastard's throwing things. Maybe he has no bullets or something."  
  
"THROWING THINGS??" The captain exclaimed. "Are you kidding?! He just threw a car?!"  
  
"Shut up!" The sergeant growled, "Christ, you assholes are so spoiled! Get off your ass and-"  
  
His ranting was cut short as a female voice came in through the intercom on his helmet.  
  
*He's on the car!! The car!! He was on top of it!!*  
  
"Huh?" Yujikata turned around just in time to see the tail end of a ripped and battle-worn trench coat as Rayden jumped from the upturned police car and onto the roof of a relatively short apartment building.  
  
"Shit! Get him! Get him now!" Yujikata ordered.  
  
"You've gotta be kidding me," one police officer next to him muttered, slumping down on his squad car, "the guy's bulletproof, can throw cars 20 meters up into the air, and leap tall buildings in a single bound, and we're supposed to stop him?" General grunts of agreement and various other affirmation rolled through the barricade, and Yujikata angrily noted that they didn't all come from the police officers.  
  
"Shut the hell up and get your ass in gear!! Your being paid to mow down scum like that, and I won't take any insubordination from such a worthless excuse for a practice dummy like you!!" The sergeant was practically frothing at the mouth when he finished, and the Core soldiers among the police were all groaning in anticipation of what they'd have to deal with later.  
  
The police officer, however, just stared flatly at him. "With all due respect sir, you can only claim insubordination of YOUR subordinates, so you can shove it." The officer opened the door to his squad car. "Respectfully," he added, and then got in.  
  
"Why you little sonuva..." Yujikata began, only to have his curses drowned out as the police captain began calling his men back to regroup.  
  
"What? You're giving up too?" Yujikata asked angrily.  
  
"A good and responsible officer knows when to give up, Sergeant," the captain said harshly, "that... man... got away, and all we lost was about 30,000 yen in ammunition. I'd say it's time to quit while we're ahead. Do you want to stick around for the investigation, or are you heading back? From what I've heard, your men have had quite a day."  
  
Yujikata snorted and turned away, considering it. "Well, the big fish is gone, thanks to weenie faggots you call officers," he quite deliberately ignored the other man's twitch, and then went on, "but at the very least, we don't have to worry about those DAPC retards blowing things up."  
  
"In all fairness," a random officer began while passing by, "a great deal of damage has been done without their presence, the body count looks to be just as high as in any of their operations, and unlike many of those same operations, we failed to make a crucial kill."  
  
The sergeant glared at the man. "I can have you shot, you know."  
  
"With all due respect, sir, bite me," the man responded.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"I swear! It was THIS big!" Kyle exclaimed, stretching out his arms as far as they could go. "No... actually, it was even BIGGER!"  
  
Ranma sighed. "I KNOW Kyle, I was THERE. I saw the giant squid. I killed it, remember?"  
  
Kyle blinked, then scratched his head. "Oh yeah. Well, did you see the man-eating whale? It was-"  
  
"YES, I saw the man-eating whale. I was right next to you."  
  
"Oh... uh, right. I remember now. Uhm... giant robot?"  
  
"I saw it," Ranma muttered, "I was with you the whole time. Could we talk about something else?"  
  
Kyle flushed a bit and sat back in his chair, trying to think of a different topic of conversation.  
  
The two former officers were in the lobby of Core headquarters, waiting. They had been informed upon arriving that the entire department was either recuperating from the massacre earlier that morning involving Viper, or out responding to some new emergency uptown.  
  
Kyle had spent most of the time telling stories that Ranma already knew, while Ranma had spent most of the time staring at a suit of protect-gear displayed in a glass case across the room.  
  
"Bleagh... am I really going to have to wear that thing? How can you even move around in all that?" Ranma made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat.  
  
Kyle shrugged. "My dad showed me a suit once. It's powered armor. You know, like in video games."  
  
Ranma blinked. "You mean like those mech suits?"  
  
Kyle shook his head. "No, no, no... not like that. You ever play Fallout?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh... Well, it's supposed to have, like, motors inside to help you move or something."  
  
Ranma snorted. "Uh huh, sure. They might as well just set us in blocks of concrete."  
  
Kyle nodded, even though he wasn't really sure what Ranma was talking about. He had seen the Core troops in action, and they didn't seem that slow.  
  
"Soooooo... have you ever seen a K-series mutant? They're like THIS big!" Kyle stretched out his arms.  
  
Ranma just groaned.  
  
"Ah, there you are!" A bright, somewhat sultry voice called out from the hall, and both men turned to see a gorgeous brunette walk into the lobby wearing a gray business suit and knee-length skirt.  
  
"Hey, isn't that the evil lady's twin sister?" Ranma whispered to Kyle.  
  
"Twin... sister?" Kyle said slowly.  
  
Mia walked up to them and had opened her mouth to speak, when suddenly Kyle jumped up out of his chair, startling her.  
  
"Wait a minute! NOW I get it! You're her twin sister! That's why you look exactly the same!" He suddenly looked embarrassed and put a hand to the back of his head. "That's been bothering me ever since Snake set the hotel on fire."  
  
Mia simply stared at him, unable to think of anything to say.  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Well, ignoring the fact that all that stuff was already explained to all of us, what did you THINK was going on?"  
  
Kyle scratched his head, "Well, I don't know. But really, I was expecting that it was some elaborate double-agent spy plot involving Russians and rubber masks."  
  
Mia blink-blinked.  
  
Ranma sighed and turned toward her. "Don't mind him. His entire reality is defined by popular entertainment. So what's up?"  
  
"Uh, right..." Mia sweatdropped, trying to regain her train of thought. "Anyway, I believe even though we've already met, formal introductions are in order. Private Saotome, Private Tekai, I am Colonel Tokima."  
  
Ranma and Kyle both stood up straight and bowed deeply.  
  
"Colonel." They both intoned.  
  
Mia smiled and winked at them. "However, since we have shared a bit of field history together already, you two won't have to speak to me so formally in private. I think we can go with a first-name basis. Is there any problem with that, Ranma?"  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Not at all... uh... uhm... Miss Tokima."  
  
Mia blinked. Ranma began to sweat. 'Damn! What was her name?'  
  
Mia's eyes narrowed slightly, and she straightened a bit. "You DO remember my first name, don't you?"  
  
Ranma started sweating more. "Well... er... you know, it didn't really seem all that important at the time..."  
  
Kyle quickly took a step away from Ranma, and busied his attention by focusing on the opposite wall.  
  
"I-I mean, in respect to being shot at by terrorists and nearly ripped up by mutants, I mean!" Ranma tried to clarify, tugging on his shirt collar.  
  
Mia frowned at him. "I admit that seems like a fair argument, but still, I'm not used to men forgetting my name," she said a bit huskily.  
  
'Wait... wait... got it!' Ranma suddenly snapped his fingers. "Oh, okay, now I remember! You're Alexandra, right? Sorry about that!"  
  
A vein popped out on Mia's head, and Ranma bigsweated some more as her left eye developed a twitch.  
  
"Well Private Saotome, you and Kyle can find Lieutenant Tekai in the third office down the hall on your left. Goodbye." She turned away coldly and walked stiffly back to her office.  
  
Kyle leaned over next to Ranma's ear. "It was Mia, dude."  
  
Ranma blinked. "Mia? Wait, then Alex was..." Suddenly he turned toward the hall. "Oh, give me a break! You're freakin' identical twins!" He shouted, "even if one of you is a government agent and the other a sadistic terrorist mastermind..." he added quietly afterward.  
  
*Slam!*  
  
"Psh. Fine. Whatever," Ranma mumbled, then turned toward Kyle. "How do you remember her name anyway? You don't know anything!"  
  
Kyle shrugged. "Don't think I'm a pervert or anything, but when a girl like that is introduced, I pay attention." He began to walk down the hall. "Don't let it get to you. The name's probably just a front for her to sneak into Core's files and cripple Japan's defense abilities before she reveals her secret identity as the girls' super evil third identical sister..." he paused for dramatic effect, "XENA, warrior princess!"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped as he followed him. "You know, now that you don't outrank me, I can call you stupid."  
  
"Awww..."  
  
Kyle made his way down the hall ahead of Ranma and opened the door to Colonel Umezeki Tekai's office. It was an office he had visited several times in the past during his trips to check up on his father.  
  
"Kyle! It's about time, boy!" Umezeki laughed and gestured for his son to come in, "come in, come in! And bring that other fellow with you!"  
  
Ranma grimaced as he saw the colonel. A tall blond man with shoulder-length, unkempt hair, a small mustache, and a grin as vacant as he had ever seen on his former commander.  
  
"Hey Dad, how's it going?" Kyle leaned over the desk, and the two men shared a brief hug before separating.  
  
Umezeki smiled a bit tiredly. "Oh, you know, same 'ole, same 'ole. Damage assessment forms, munitions request applications, and life insurance claims."  
  
Kyle and Umezeki stared at each other silently for a moment. Then they spontaneously burst out laughing.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Wait. Whoa, whoa, hold on. Were you joking?"  
  
Umezeki and Kyle stopped laughing as if some switch had been flipped. "No, unfortunately," the colonel replied.  
  
"Anyway," Umezeki continued, "I'd like to congratulate the both of you for making it to this level, and I'd like to offer my sympathies to what happened to your department. A mass downsizing is never pleasant for anyone." He stopped speaking, and then pursed his lips, as if in thought. "Actually, it might have been pleasant for the SWAT teams. As soon as they heard the DA was gone, they broke out some champagne and submitted some forms for fireworks." He scratched his head curiously, "Although, when news of the disbandment was broadcasted on the six 'o clock news, the stock values of two local reconstruction contractors plummeted eighty points each."  
  
Ranma cleared his throat suddenly, and the other two men turned to look at him.  
  
"Uh, not that that's not fascinating and stuff, but can we get back to us?"  
  
"Oh! Right!" Umezeki looked appropriately embarrassed as he realized he had been rambling a bit. "I'll take care of your paperwork submissions. I just wanted to give you both your bonus checks and your instructions. Tomorrow you should arrive in the main hall outside the locker rooms at seven 'o clock sharp. There you will be given your suits, weapons, miscellaneous equipment, and began your squad training. Understood?"  
  
"Yessir, Colonel!"  
  
"Sir! Yes, sir!"  
  
Umezeki turned to his son. "Please don't talk like that. We're not the marines." Then he grinned and jabbed a finger at him. "Now you be grateful I managed to get you this position, Kyle. I had to pull a lot of strings and *ahem* 'misfile' certain papers in order to yank you up with Mr. Kung-fu over here." He jabbed a thumb at Ranma.  
  
"Well, couldn't you have gotten Sakura a job too?" Kyle asked hopefully.  
  
"There aren't enough strings in the world, son." Umezeki said bluntly. "The best I could do for her is destroy all those executive requests to have the DA officers tarred and feathered."  
  
Kyle sweatdropped. "Well, thanks for that, at least."  
  
"They were really going to tar and feather us?" Ranma asked.  
  
"If you got lucky," the colonel replied uneasily, "there were worse orders than that. Most of them got thrown out immediately because the methods of execution were simply so exotic and expensive." Umezeki sighed and then turned away slightly, muttering, "Who ever heard of sharks with lasers attached to their heads, anyway?" He sighed, and then opened a drawer before removing two slips of paper and placing them on his desk. "Here are your signing bonuses, boys. Any questions?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Hold on," Ranma said, fishing in his pocket. "I'm actually getting my own place today. I found this ad and called 'em up, so this is my new address."  
  
Umezeki looked at the newspaper clipping that Ranma produced, and then nodded and took some papers out of another drawer. "Okay, no problem. I've got your forms right..." the colonel trailed off as he looked at the transfer papers. "What? Why are your mailing addresses are the same."  
  
"Oh, that's nothing," Kyle assured him, "Sakura just brought him home one day and insisted he stay at my place until he could get a house."  
  
Umezeki immediately jumped to his feet. "What?! Sakura got married and didn't tell me?!"  
  
Ranma and Kyle both sweatdropped at the man's confused outburst.  
  
"No, no, no!" Kyle said, trying to calm him down, "Dad, don't jump to conclusions! They're not married, they're just sleeping together!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Ranma shouted, beads of sweat becoming apparent on his brow. "What the hell are you talking about?!"  
  
Kyle grinned at him, apparently oblivious to the frown his father was directing at Ranma. "Dude, did you really think you could pull a fast one on me?"  
  
'Must... resist... obvious... response...'  
  
Kyle continued, "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I just saw her sneak into the room you were staying in."  
  
"What, and you didn't see her sneak out two minutes later?!" Ranma shouted, mortified.  
  
"Two minutes?" Kyle asked, blinking. "Kinda fast, aren't you?"  
  
"AAARGH!!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Stupid Kyle and his stupid delusions..." Ranma muttered to himself as he stalked his way down the sidewalk. "That's yet another first impression blown to hell."  
  
Grumbling some more under his breath, Ranma looked up to his left at the numerous condominiums that made up the community. He then looked down at his newspaper clipping, confirming the address.  
  
"Yep, this is the place." Readjusting the small pack he had slung over his shoulder, Ranma walked up to the front door. "So, do I knock, or what?"  
  
Shrugging, he raised a fist to the door when a patch of the red caught his eye on the ground.  
  
"What the...? This is blood!" Ranma grit his teeth as he looked over the patch of fresh blood that leaked out from under the doorway. Then he slammed his fist hard against the door.  
  
*Bam!* *Bam!* *Bam!* "Yo! Is everything all right in there?! Hello?!" Frowning deeply, he took up a stance in front of the door and prepared to break it down.  
  
"All right, open this door! This is the police! I'm..." Ranma blinked, and stopped in mid-yell. "Wait, I'm not a policeman any more... uh... Open this door! This is the military! Or something..." Ranma trailed off again, and then shook his head fiercely. "Aw, the hell with it! I'm coming in!" Ranma reared back a powerful kick to bring him through the door and into anything waiting a fair distance behind the door, and leaned back on one leg in preparation to spring.  
  
*Slam!* "Hello!"  
  
Ranma stumbled and nearly fell over as a man burst through the door with his arms spread open.  
  
"Ah, yes! You must be the new tenant! Very good! I've been expecting you!" The man smiled broadly at Ranma.  
  
Ranma blinked. "Uh... great. But what happened here?" He pointed down at the entrance, which had a thin puddle of blood that leaked out of the door and onto the front porch. A quick glance inside revealed a bit more blood on the floor and wall.  
  
The man swallowed a bit and looked up at the ceiling nervously. "Oh! Uh... that... um... that... is... actually... where a bird died..."  
  
Ranma blinked. "A bird."  
  
"Uh huh. Yeah." The man chuckled a bit. "I just opened the door and the crazy thing just crashed into floor, and made that big mess all over the place. Yup."  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "All that came from a bird?"  
  
The man sweated slightly as he managed a fake smile. "I know, I was surprised too." Then he took Ranma by the shoulder and led him inside. "Anyway, that's not important! I just wanted to be here to welcome you!" He pulled Ranma into the living room and then turned around to face him. "So... welcome!"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Uh... thanks. Now I-"  
  
"And as a housewarming gift, I'd like to present you with this lovely... uh... housewarming gift!" He produced a giftwrapped package from behind his back and thrust it toward Ranma, who helplessly took it in his arms. He then chuckled darkly a bit. "You'll be amazed just how warm your house will get."  
  
Ranma blinked as he looked down at the box. "Er, thanks... um... it's ticking. Should it be ticking?"  
  
The man shrugged. "Sure, why not?" He then blinked rapidly as Ranma grabbed one end of the package and then stuck his finger along the edge of the wrapping paper. "NO!!! DON'T OPEN THAT YET!!! NOT YET!!! PLEASE GOD, NO!!!"  
  
Ranma nearly fell backwards at the outburst, and accidentally tossed the package up in the air.  
  
"WAAAUGH!!! CAREFUL WITH THAT!!!"  
  
As it was about to hit the ground, Ranma regained his balance and swiftly caught it in his arms before staring curiously at the man before him.  
  
The man grabbed his chest with one hand and panted heavily, slowly regaining his composure.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped, and carefully placed the gift on a coffee table before turning back toward the man. "Um, right... look, about the down payment-"  
  
"Oh, don't worry about that!" The man said brightly, suddenly standing straight up and once again all smiles. "As a free gift to you, we'll let you get settled in before charging you, or something! Bye!" With all haste he could muster, the man ran for the front door. Unmindful, unfortunately, of the crimson puddle he had himself created.  
  
"GYAH!!!" *Crash!!* *Slam!* *Thud!*  
  
Ranma winced as the final sound came from the front, then sighed and set his pack down onto the floor.  
  
"Well, this place looks nice enough," he said to himself, looking around the living room with his hands on his hips. "Two bedrooms, one bathroom, big living room, and they said it had a nice kitchen, too."  
  
He stopped to look down at the giftwrapped package, and then gave a final glance toward the front entrance of the house.  
  
"Well, it sure was nice of them to get me a present, I guess. I just wonder what his problem was." Shrugging his shoulders, Ranma picked up the parcel and then walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, this is pretty nice," Ranma remarked, marveling at the size of the refrigerator in particular. Then something on the windowsill caught his eye.  
  
"What the-"  
  
"Hssssssss!!"  
  
"Oh geez!" Ranma jumped back as the worm rose up on the windowsill like a coiled snake, the jagged teeth of its oversized maw promising death to any that roamed near.  
  
*Smash!* The sound of glass shattered fill the house as Ranma's housewarming gift crashed into the mysterious creature, forcing it through the window and outside onto the back porch.  
  
"What the hell are those things, and where are they coming from?!" Ranma growled out, clenching a fist angrily. Then he stopped to think seriously about the possibilities. "Could they be another biogenetic terrorist weapon sent to kill me?"  
  
*KAAABOOOOOOM!!!* Fire poured through the broken window and the entire structure shook as a violent explosion took place outside, sending flame and dirt alike up into the night sky in a spectacular demonstration of the might of plastic explosives.  
  
Ranma blinked as the detonation receded, leaving huge black scars around the window and the nearest counter tops.  
  
"Hmmmm..." Ranma cupped his chin in one hand, and tapped his elbow with the other.  
  
Finally, he shrugged. "Well, I guess I COULD be acting just be a bit paranoid."  
  
With that, he turned around and decided to put the sleeping facilities to use.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Bei rushed through the empty halls of Wraith's primary offices, cursing under her breath and toting a manila folder under one arm.  
  
The occasional employee that was working late at night averted their gaze, well aware that Bei was not one to be trifled with when irritated. Not that the young woman was any significant danger on her own, but it was well known that Bei was a very close assistant to Alexandra Tokima. And pissing off Tokima was commonly likened to cutting one's own wrists.  
  
Bei entered the elevators and hit the proper button, dreading the news she had to give. She wasn't really afraid of what Alexandra might do to her, but it had been HER job to arrange a simple assassination for Saotome, and she was quite ashamed at having failed.  
  
The elevator stopped, and Bei entered the hall to the president's office.  
  
Straightening her blouse and miniskirt, the young woman took several deep breaths to prepare herself, and then quickly entered her employer's office.  
  
Alex turned her head sharply as she heard her office door open, but her gaze quickly softened as she saw Bei enter, a nervous expression upon her pretty face.  
  
"Ah, Bei, there you are! Come here and sit down. Me and Yuchtzky were just sharing a bottle of champagne I've had sitting around for a special occasion." She smiled pleasantly and gestured to one of the many plush leather chairs that surrounded her large hardwood desk, which she was presently sitting on top of.  
  
Igov raised a wine glass toward her. "You look worried, young lady. What is the matter?" He too gestured to a seat, and Bei gulped before hesitantly letting herself into the chair.  
  
"We were just celebrating the news from this afternoon, actually," Alex said, refilling her own glass.  
  
Igov shrugged, grinning. "Igov does not know what big problem is with 'DAPC', but glad to know that problem is gone now."  
  
"Um, about that..." Bei began, looking down into her lap.  
  
"Hm?" Alex looked up at her assistant, and then uncrossed her legs before crossing them again the other way. "What's wrong?"  
  
Bei sighed. "I'm afraid the initial attempt on Ranma Saotome's life was a failure, Miss Tokima. I fully accept responsibility for mistake."  
  
Alexandra blinked, then bit back a laugh before shaking her head slowly. "Oh dear... Bei, don't feel bad. Now that I think about it, it was an unusually difficult task I put you to. I was actually going to tell you to forget about it."  
  
Bei blinked, then grit her teeth. "No, please! Let me handle him! I promise I'll have him killed! I just need more time!"  
  
Alex smiled gently at the girl. "Take all the time you need, Bei. Saotome is no longer any great obstacle to our plans." She stopped, and then looked up at the ceiling in thought. "Come to think of it, he wasn't any great obstacle to our plans before, but him and that little pack of fools did have the most dreadful luck." She shrugged. "Oh well, it hardly matters now."  
  
She looked back down at her assistant, and saw that Bei was still fidgeting uncomfortably. "Was there anything else?"  
  
Bei nodded slowly, then sighed. "Konta's cloning lab was targeted for a surprise attack from an unknown source earlier today. It appears the facility is a total loss."  
  
Alexandra and Igov immediately froze.  
  
"What?" Alex whispered, almost to herself, "a total loss?"  
  
Bei nervously tugged on the collar of her blouse as she continued. "Yes ma'am. The equipment, the data core, the materials, the staff... even the few mutants that were moved on-site for additional experimentation. It was all wiped out."  
  
Alex sat frozen on her desk, stunned.  
  
Igov frowned, idly rolling the wine around in his glass as he considered the information. "You said it was from unknown source. So government is not responsible?"  
  
Bei shook her head. "No. The officials arrived soon after the facility was destroyed, and are even now still investigating the incident," she sighed irritably, "which has slowed down our own investigations considerably."  
  
"Bei..."  
  
Bei's head snapped up at Alex's voice, and the young woman noted that her employer had snapped out of her trance, and was even now staring expressionlessly at her bottle of champagne. "Ma'am?"  
  
"I'll need some more champagne."  
  
*Thud!* *Thud!*  
  
Alex ignored her two subordinates as they facefaulted, and began snickering as she spoke. "I really can't believe it... it's almost too good to be true... in a seemingly random incident that can't possibly be traced back to me, that tiny little smart-ass bastard Yoshi has finally been crushed like the pasty white worm he is! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"  
  
Alex's joyful laughter seemed almost disturbingly melodious to Bei's ears, and she sweatdropped heavily as she climbed back into her chair. "Ma'am?"  
  
Alex once again ignored her, and pressed the champagne bottle against her breast, sliding it up along her cleavage suggestively. "I don't believe it... tonight all my dreams have come true... and all my problems have just evaporated!"  
  
Igov leaned over to Bei. "Igov thought that terrorist goal was for collapse of government and establishment of anarchy."  
  
"Whatever," Bei hissed, "as long as she's happy!"  
  
"A toast," Alex said suddenly, causing the others to jerk to attention, "to the inevitable downfall of Japanese oppression and to the more immediate deaths of little nerdy pricks!"  
  
*Slam!* "Accursed government bungleheads! 'No sir, you can't be allowed to oversee the excavation'. 'No sir, it's too dangerous for you to search for your critical research files'. 'Please leave this to the professionals, sir'. Blast!"  
  
*Ka-ching!* The wine glass shattered in Alex's grip as Yoshi Konta stalked into the room, dust and ash marring the lower part of his usual lab coat.  
  
Yoshi glared at the terrorist general, but somehow made the expression appear like a venom coating over the normally perfect calm that was his usual disposition. "Alexandra, I have certain complaints about the apparent security of the facility you presented for me. By large, my complaints encompass that because of the LACK of such security, said facility is nothing more than a multi-billion yen pile of steel, glass, and concrete confetti!"  
  
He turned away from her and began patting down his lab coat, quite deliberately spreading the dirt all over the spotless white carpet of the prestigious office. "I respectfully request a new lab so that I may continue to carry on the experiments that, may I remind you, finally rid you of those irritating officers you kept whining about. AND, if such incompetent security leaks are to become commonplace, I expect that the new facility be constructed more like a bunker and less like a bloody dollhouse!" Yoshi turned his cold stare back toward his "superior", only to find that she was actually crying, with her face in her hands in an attempt to muffle it.  
  
Yoshi blinked, and then turned toward Bei. "Now what's wrong with her?"  
  
Bei sweatdropped heavily. "She's been having a pretty bad day..." she looked down at her watch, "... for about 52 seconds now."  
  
The diminutive scientist snorted and swiftly left, slamming the door hard enough to make Igov and Bei flinch.  
  
Bei glanced at the Russian general uneasily as Alex continued sobbing to herself, unsure of what to say to fill the awkward silence. She decided that a simple explanation would probably be best.  
  
"Uhm... like I was saying, because of the police investigations, it's been hard to track the incident at all. We actually still don't know exactly how many we lost in the attack, or who they were," She paused, then sighed, "though we can obviously rule out the lab supervisor as a casualty."  
  
Alex slowly slid off her desk and onto the floor, her head down.  
  
*Bam!* The terrorist general slammed the mostly-empty bottle of champagne onto her desk, and then began to stumble toward the exit. "I'm going home... Bei... send someone to find out exactly what Yoshi wants... and just give it to him..."  
  
She had reached the exit and was opening the door when she suddenly glared at Igov. "And YOU..."  
  
The Russian swallowed deeply as Alexandra walked up to him, and then he blinked in confusion when she placed her index finger and thumb close together in front of his face, as if indicating something small in measurement.  
  
"I was THIS close to dragging you into the mail room and having my way with you!" She turned away, and Igov blanched as the woman stalked out of the room.  
  
*Slam!*  
  
Silence reigned for a few precious moments.  
  
Finally, Igov nodded slowly. "Some rest will do her good."  
  
Bei smiled nervously and nodded in agreement.  
  
Igov emptied his wine glass, and then took the bottle on Alexandra's desk for a refill. After his glass was full, he held the bottle out to Bei. "Champagne?"  
  
Bei blinked. "I, uh, I don't drink, actually."  
  
Igov snorted. "Igov has unfortunate feeling that now would be opportune time to start."  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Government nobodys needlessly devoured: 1  
  
Terrorists/scientists crushed: 86  
  
K-series mutants annihilated: 4  
  
Ranma's landlord: Yup, he's gone.  
  
End Chapter 12 


	13. Angel's Rise

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
Disclaimer: For the last &^$%#() time! I'm not dumping the original cast! Geez! You people only think like a chapter into the future!  
  
Sorry. I didn't mean that. You have no way of knowing, it's not like you write this junk. It's just... I'm going through a hard time right now, and I'm feeling some things I'm not used to feeling, and blah blah blah...  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Angel's Rise  
  
*****************************************************************************************  
  
*Shick*  
  
Rayden's face remained perfectly still as he forced the scalpel deeper into the wound, digging down into the depression in his skin. Blood oozed up from the hole, and the small blade was soon lost under a rising puddle of crimson fluid, forcing its wielder to judge its position by the damaged nerves within his body.  
  
Grunting as sharp needles of agony shot up his bicep, Rayden found the rear end of the bullet, and slid the scalpal around and then down the length of the projectile before forcing it up, heedless of the surrounding tissue.  
  
Clenching his teeth, Rayden forced the bullet all the way out, and let the blood-painted lead fall to the floor with dozens of others.  
  
Finally letting out a breath, the gunman put the scalpel to the side on a plate that already held several broken surgical blades. Rayden's skin had been genetically enhanced to make a bullet impact survivable, even ignorable, so common blades had a hard time piercing his body.  
  
Feeling leaden, Rayden turned toward the full-length mirror on the wall of his apartment room. His entire lower body was stained with streaks of his own blood, most of it spilled while trying to remove the bullets that had penetrated. His entire upper torso was peppered with red depressions, and there were even a few bloody cuts on his head.  
  
He sighed and turned away from the mirror, disgusted. Core's autorifles were powerful weapons indeed. If only they had been used on someone more deserving, he might have admired the guns.  
  
Rayden pushed away the scalpel plate and slowly began bandaging his wounds, wrapping great lengths of gauze over his naked torso.  
  
'Yujikata... is he the one the Yakuza spoke of? It's likely, but I must be sure!'  
  
Much of Rayden's recent trip to Japan had involved cleaning out smaller hives of murders and other scum. Messing with the Yakuza was generally considered a bad idea, even for the police, and it probably was, but Rayden had been caught in so many firefights with trained, well-armed soldiers that second-rate goons were nothing but a warm up to him.  
  
Much of his trips into Yakuza territory were related to finding information. The Yakuza were well known for their access to all levels of just about every organization in Japan, and thus seemed a good place to go to find out where Yutchzky was hiding.  
  
Of course, it's difficult to divulge anything when one is dead, and Rayden soon found that his knack for "punishing the guilty" had caused him to lose most of his best information, as well as stir up a lot of attention about his presence. Within a week, every police box had posters of him on the walls.  
  
The gunman sighed as he finished cutting the gauze, and then brought out a new t-shirt and put it on. His arms still showed, but he didn't mind. By next morning the wounds would have shrunk enough that he could replace most of the gauze, so that most people wouldn't bother questioning it.  
  
He had managed to access some information before he had killed off a few of the less well-protected local crime lords. Most of it had linked Igov with a terrorist organization called the Freedom's Angels. Rayden hadn't cared at first, so long as it led him to Yuchtzky.  
  
That had changed as soon as he found the laboratory the Yakuza were supplying.  
  
Biological weapons. Cloning. Bio-genetic engineering. It reminded him all too much of the Soviet weapons research camps that had been in operation before the Soviet Union had dissolved completely. The camps he had grown up in.  
  
He didn't know what the Freedom's Angels were planning, but it appeared that he had followed one madman all the way to Japan, only to run into a whole nest of them.  
  
"That filthy rapist Yuimichi spoke of a mole that the Angels had within Core. Could it be Yujikata?" Rayden mused aloud.  
  
It seemed likely. The man seemed way too eager to finish him off, and didn't show nearly enough surprise or fear for his abilities. Obviously he was out for the kill, not for justice.  
  
Rayden reached under his bed and pulled out a plastic container, filled to the brim with gun barrels, stocks, and various other parts associated with all sorts of guns. Deeper in the container was a number of machining tools, as well as forms for bullets.  
  
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*  
  
Rayden raised an eyebrow as someone rapped on his door, and idly looked toward a few shotguns he had hanging on the wall next to his bed. "Da? Who there?"  
  
A feminine voice came from the other side of door, speaking very slowly and deliberately. "Mr. Nikolai? This morning, we found blood outside in the alley. Did you see anything last night?"  
  
"What? Say again, please," Rayden said, feigning poor comprehension. Using a false name while trying to avoid detection was common sense, but people often dismissed a foreign "tourist" barely able to speak the language far more quickly than they would otherwise.  
  
"I said that... oh, never mind. Are you okay?" The voice said, slightly concerned.  
  
"Is okay," Rayden said, mulling over his box of guns, and glancing at the deadbolt to ensure that his landlady couldn't get in even by accident. Rayden kept many of his weapons scattered around his apartment, and at the particular moment his bed and floor was covered with blood and used bullets. If anyone had gotten a look, it wouldn't have been easy to explain.  
  
He heard the old woman walk away, and then got out his machining tools. Obviously, he had gotten back into his apartment through the window to avoid leaving a trail of blood from the bottom of the complex all the way up to his apartment. It was difficult to do, all the sneaking around, but it was necessary to survive.  
  
'And I must survive... until Igov lies dead before me... my lord and savior, Jesus Christ, please watch over me...' With a grim frown, Rayden took out his tools and got to work.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Urgh..." Ranma groaned as he pulled himself up out of bed, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.  
  
Smacking his lips as he stood up, the former police officer glanced at the clock before stumbling over to his dresser.  
  
"Huh... five o'clock... too early..." he mumbled as he got dressed.  
  
Despite however much he complained to himself, Ranma got fully dressed and began to stretch, preparing for a morning run the way he always did. It had occurred to him quite some time ago that with the relative lack of competing martial artists of notable skill, the only real recent tests of his abilities came when defying a horrible death in the midst of mutant attacks or chaotic firefights. And while those were fun, he needed to have a more frequent training regimen that didn't depend upon the evil plans of others.  
  
So he had taken to sprinting and jumping until he nearly passed out from exhaustion. Not particularly creative or exotic, but it left him in the same comforting state of aching misery that came from being swatted into the sky with a giant hammer right after putting down Ryoga.  
  
Putting on his jacket, Ranma walked out into the living room, preparing to have a quick snack and a drink before he left the house. Walking to the kitchen, he removed a glass from a cabinet, and then turned and opened the pantry.  
  
Immediately he jerked his head to the side as a man in dark clothes stabbed a dagger forward for his head, missing by mere millimeters.  
  
Ranma grabbed him by the shoulder and then smashed his knee into the attacker's stomach, forcing his foe to drop the weapon. Then he pushed back and snapped his leg up, knocking the assassin into the back of the walk-in pantry.  
  
Ranma grumbled irritably as he got a bagel from one of the shelves, and then closed the door to the pantry.  
  
"Stupid Ninja. Why do they always attack when you're eating?" Shaking his head, Ranma brought a chair under the doorknob to the pantry and propped it up, holding the door closed. "Well, he can just STAY in there until I get back," he mumbled.  
  
Munching on the bagel, Ranma stretched the last kinks out of his back and headed for the front door.  
  
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*  
  
Ranma blinked as he reached for the doorknob, wondering who could be seeking him out at this hour.  
  
'If it's another Ninja, I swear...' "Yes?" Opening the door all the way, Ranma was pleasantly surprised to see Snake smiling pleasantly at him from the front step, with Hunter crouched behind him. "Snake! What are you doin' here?"  
  
Snake chuckled a bit nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Hey Saotome! Just wanted to, you know, check up on you. See how you were doing. That sort of thing..."  
  
Ranma stared as he trailed off, then sighed. "Okay, fine. What do you want me to do?"  
  
Snake sweatdropped. "Has anyone ever told you that you're pretty darn perceptive?"  
  
"No, not really."  
  
Snake cleared his throat, then gestured discreetly to Hunter. "The big guy needs a place to live now that HQ is all locked up, and my place has too many explosives. If he starts eating stuff, he could blow himself up, or burn down the entire block."  
  
"Surprise, surprise," Ranma muttered, moving to the side. Hunter apparently understood the invitation, and walked past him into the house.  
  
Snake nodded. "Thanks man. I would've actually taken him over to Tekai's place, but you seem to handle this kind of thing better than most." Snake looked up for a moment, as if trying to recall something. "Let's see... you'll want to take him for walks later in the evening. I suggest going by the meat packing plant downtown by the Ohuro chemical lab down in the industrial center. The best spot is their back parking lot where they keep all their dumpsters."  
  
Ranma nodded. "That's where he likes to go, eh?"  
  
Snake blinked. "Go?"  
  
The two men stared at each other for a moment, and then Snake suddenly laughed. "Oh! I get it! No, no, I meant that the plant throws out a lot of older meat, and Hunter likes to forage through the dumpsters for food!"  
  
"Oh... okay..." Ranma chewed on his lower lip for a moment. 'I guess it beats buying food for him. I can't imagine keeping him fed on Kibbles 'n Bits or some junk like that.' "So... uh... where does he... you know?"  
  
Snake shrugged. "He doesn't. Seras says that his metabolism is so powerful that he can digest anything and everything that he eats. Which means no waste."  
  
Ranma looked surprised. "No kidding?"  
  
Snake nodded, smiling. "Yup. He's like the perfect pet."  
  
"Well, if you don't count him eating people and ripping up cars and stuff."  
  
"Which I don't."  
  
"Right," Ranma muttered, turning away.  
  
"Wait! Wait! One last thing," Snake insisted, "if anybody asks, you don't know anything about Hunter tearing up a Mercedes. Bye!"  
  
Snake turned around to leave, but Ranma's hand lashed out and grabbed him by the back of his jacket.  
  
"Whoa, whoa! What Mercedes?"  
  
Snake nodded. "Exactly! You can let go now..."  
  
Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Snake..."  
  
Snake sighed as he realized Ranma wasn't going to let him go without an explanation. "Okay, it's like this... Tiro's got this really annoying neighbor, see? He's by all the time borrowing stuff, and then acts like he never borrowed it later, and leaves his trash out in the hall rather than taking it outside to the dumpster. You know, that sort of stuff. And since we had to do something with Hunter, we figured-"  
  
Ranma's eyes suddenly hardened. "You didn't."  
  
Snake jerked back from the sudden aggression, waving his hands in front of him in a placating gesture. "We didn't! We didn't!" Ranma immediately calmed down, and Snake sweatdropped. "I mean, we were going to, but he wasn't home. So we had Hunter eat his car instead."  
  
Ranma slapped a hand over his face.  
  
Snake shrugged. "Hey, what's a guy gonna do, eh?" Snake was about to turn around to leave, when he spotted Hunter again through the doorway. "Hello... looks like the big guy just fed himself. You keeping a bunch of fresh meat around?"  
  
Ranma turned around and saw the zergling lazily lie down next to the window, his beak stained crimson with fresh blood. "Er... no. That's weird."  
  
Snake blinked. "Oh... uh... you didn't have company over... I hope?"  
  
Ranma shook his head slowly. "No, not that I know of..." then his eyebrows shot up. "Oh! The Ninja! That's right! Someone tried to assassinate me this morning!"  
  
"You're kidding! You too? I get that all the time!" Snake laughed. "It really is a pain, you know? Especially when they jump out of your closet in the morning."  
  
Ranma smirked. "Pantry."  
  
Snake nodded. "Yeah. Well, at least you don't have to worry about what to do with the bodies, with the big guy around." He grinned, then snapped his fingers. "Hey, me and Wattai scored a job working at the convenience shop near the fire station. You and Kyle should drop by later, tell us how life is in the infamous Core battalion."  
  
Ranma smirked. "Yeah, okay. I will. Bye!" he waved as Snake left his home, and then turned toward his new charge, who was resting in the sunlight shining through the window.  
  
Then he sighed wearily as he spied a few patches of red on the edge of the doorway to the kitchen.  
  
"Aw man... bad enough he keeps killing people, but does he have to leave a blood trail everywhere?" Grumbling to himself at a good morning wasted, Ranma headed to the garage in search of a mop.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"I don't CARE if the men have been through an ordeal, they're soldiers! If a good night's sleep can't get them back into good enough shape to fight, then we're wasting our time and money! All leaves have been suspended until further notice! Not one soldier is to miss a shift unless they come to me and cough up their goddamn kidneys!! IS THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR?!" Yujikata yelled into the receiver at the top of his voice, his face turning slightly red from the effort. "And if I hear one more sissy complaint about double shifts and advanced combat deployment, I'm going to personally beat the tar out the idiot that complains! We're on full combat alert here! We have freakin' mutants crawling around alleyways, Russians blowing up buildings, warehouses are turning up looted or destroyed, and everyone's breathing down my goddamn neck to do something about it! I can't-"  
  
*Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!*  
  
Yujikata paused his sudden tirade as an unusual ring tone came from his pocket, and frowned.  
  
"I've gotta go, something just came up. But you heard what I said! EVERY MAN is to be on full alert, and nobody is making any plans that will take them outside of the city! No exceptions!"  
  
Yujikata carefully put down the phone, then disconnected it. Then he got up, locked the door to his office, and retreated into a corner while the phone in his pocket continued beeping softly.  
  
The sergeant wasn't normally a paranoid or even cautious man, but he was smart enough to know that anything less than extreme secrecy in this situation could literally get him killed. If he was lucky.  
  
Slowly taking out the cell phone, Yujikata opened it and turned it on. "Who is this?" He hissed. He was pretty sure he knew who it was, but one could never take too many chances when dealing with terrorists (as if it wasn't a great chance in and of itself).  
  
*Relax Goda. It's me.*  
  
A small smile spread across Yujikata's lips. "Hello Tokima. How are things?"  
  
*Things are going surprisingly well, actually. I'd like to thank you for what effort you made to have the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment disbanded. They were a minor thorn in my side, but a thorn nonetheless. I hope I can expect similar results in this other recent problem that has popped up.*  
  
Yujikata's smile blossomed into a full grin. "You mean your little research center, right?"  
  
*Correct. 86 men and women, scientists and soliders, all killed. And not a single enemy corpse, if our sketchy review of the site can be trusted.*  
  
"There was only one enemy," Yujikata said smugly, admiring his fingernails, "and he left the site alive, thanks to those sissy worms they put me in charge of."  
  
*.....................* Silence dominated the connection, and the Core sergeant waited patiently as Alexandra digested that information. *One enemy? Are you sure?*  
  
"Yup. He doesn't usually work with others, and he's the only one we saw leave the site." Yujikata hummed slightly to himself, waiting for Alexandra to prompt him.  
  
*I see... who is he?*  
  
He grinned broadly, and lowered his voice. "Well now, that is the million dollar question, isn't it? And while it won't quite cost you that much, I'm going to need a... personal commitment from you, Alex. Top secret information and all that."  
  
*You'll get a check for 500,000 yen tomorrow if you can tell us who this man is and where we can find him.*  
  
Yujikata pursed his lips. "Well, I can't tell you where to find him, so let's say 50,000, plus you come over my place next Tuesday."  
  
The sergeant almost had to keep from laughing as he imagined Alex mentally debating whether to agree. He knew full well that their relationship was purely business, and that she hated having to make business deals that involved sexually servicing him. Such things were below her, and rightfully so, but controlling even a low-ranking member of Core with enough connections to get what he wanted was simply too valuable an asset for her to risk anything but her full cooperation.  
  
*Very well... if you can tell me anything useful about him. I don't want to hear "all I know is his name and what he looks like".*  
  
"No prob," Yujikata said brightly. "The dope's name is Rayden Shikodan. He has an extensive criminal profile and a special record in the military files, but because of certain details, access to the files are restricted to all but certain parts of the military."  
  
Yujikata walked out of the corner and sat down at his desk, cell phone still in hand. "This guy was apparently some kinda super-soldier experimental freak from a few of the biogenetic laboratories that were built in the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Apparently him and maybe a few others like him turned out pretty good, but before the reds could start pumping out supermen, or maybe before he got old enough for them to test, the Soviet Union collapsed. The new government didn't like a lot of the things that the old one had been up to, so they went around and destroyed the labs, and everything created in the labs."  
  
He started typing at his computer, and started bypassing security screens as he accessed the restricted files.  
  
*So what happened to this one?*  
  
"We're not completely sure," Yujikata admitted, "but we're sure that he was created in one of the labs, and we're sure that he eventually made his way to Japan." He arrived at the correct file, and opened it. "Let's see... seven years ago, Takoshi and Mimi Shikodan, a Catholic Japanese couple living in Kyoto, were found dead in their home due to gunshot wounds. It's unknown to this day who was responsible for their deaths, but later investigations concluded that the couple had unofficially adopted Rayden and taken him into their household."  
  
Yujikata smiled. "Now here's the interesting part: since the murder, there has been a nearly endless string of killings of wanted and suspected murders and rapists. Many of them could be tied directly to a gunman fitting Rayden's description; tall, wide frame, black hair, sort of gothic look about him. That's actually why his files were sealed; he was doing such a good job of cleaning up this scum, that certain people in our government decided he was doing way more good than harm, and was too dangerous to try and stop. Even when a police officer or senator was suddenly found shot or incinerated, there was always some sort of mysterious scandal surrounding the victim in which they were accused of something awful. Eventually certain people, who I suspect themselves had things to hide, decided that Shikodan had to be put down, and warrants were made even though his files remained classified. Inquiries were made as to where he came from and such, and Japanese intelligence apparently traced him back to Russia and shook down the government for whatever answers they wouldn't kill to protect."  
  
He took a breath as he looked over the information, then spoke again. "Thing is, Shikodan disappeared about three years ago, and hasn't been seen until recently. It was assumed that he had finally gotten in over his head hunting down Yakuza bosses and was killed. But obviously, that 'aint true."  
  
*I see. Interesting... so now we have vigilantes after us too. Is there anything else you can tell me about him?*  
  
Yujikata made an affirmative noise as he scrolled down the computer screen. "Sure. The guy never kills anyone but his targets and maybe bodyguards that get in his way, so even when there are eyewitnesses to his attacks, he'll pretend like they're not even there and leave 'em alone. From what intelligence has gathered he's a powerful gunman and explosives expert with the whole superhuman strength and constitution thing going on. Also, he's Catholic. Really Catholic."  
  
*Not all that I'd hoped for, but it will have to do,* Alex said irritably over the phone. *I assume you're making some kind of effort to take care of him?*  
  
The Core sergeant grinned. "What's it worth to ya?"  
  
*Nevermind,* was the cold reply. *There is, however, one other issue that I cannot ignore or leave for later. Have you taken care of my... legal reputation?*  
  
Yujikata's smile slipped. "Yes, actually. And it was a pain in the ass, too. I had to go through a lot of trouble to get rid of everything without raising suspicion, but right now only that prick Remerick and your sister know that you're an Angel. Lucky for you, Remerick's so busy nowadays that he only has time to issue orders and fill out forms and assume that they're carried out, but Mia's sure to be searching the prison cells for you, and it's only a matter of time before she realizes something's wrong."  
  
*Well, you've obviously done the best you could.* There was a pause on the other end, and Yujikata smiled slightly. *I suppose I could drop by your place on Tuesday. Say around 7?*  
  
Yujikata jerked to the side as he heard someone knock on his door, and then whispered into the phone. "That's good! I've got to go!" *Beep*  
  
Quickly putting the phone away, he turned irritably toward his office door. "Who is it?!"  
  
The door opened, and a blond head poked in. "Hey, can you tell me where you guys keep the doughnuts around here? I'm kinda hungry."  
  
Yujikata stared for a moment. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
As the man was about to answer, another man walked into the room behind him. "Hey, nice office! Do all the guys get rooms like this, or is this some sort of special deal?"  
  
Yujikata's left eye twitched. "......I am Sergeant Yujikata of the Central Organized Response Echelon, Division Two. State your names now, or there will be consequences."  
  
"Oh! You're the guy we're supposed to report to!" The blonde said, clapping his hands together. "I'm Lieutenant... er, I mean, Private Kyle Tekai. Hello!"  
  
The other man casually made a "V" sign with his fingers without turning toward Yujikata. "I'm Ranma."  
  
A vein popped out on the sergeant's forehead. "Ranma what?"  
  
"Ranma Saotome. Private Ranma Saotome, I guess," Ranma said, frowning. "What's the deal? I don't see any pastries anywhere! What's so great about being in Core if you don't even get free food?"  
  
"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE, YOU FILTH!!" Yujikata screamed, jumping up out of his chair.  
  
Ranma and Kyle jerked back in surprise. "What? We were told we had to report to you!"  
  
The sergeant grit his teeth. "It's 7 o'clock! Briefing doesn't start until 9!"  
  
Kyle blinked. "Well, we both got here extra early so that someone could show us around and stuff..."  
  
"Get out! Get out now!!" Yujikata yelled, jabbing his finger repeatedly at the doorway.  
  
"Yeesh! All right!" Ranma muttered, heading out ahead of Kyle. "You don't need to be an ass about it."  
  
Yujikata's head snapped back to look Ranma directly in the eyes. "You come over here and say that."  
  
To his surprise, Ranma turned right back around, gently pushed Kyle to the side, and walked right up to him and looked him in the eyes so that their noses were almost touching.  
  
"You don't need to be an ass about it," Ranma repeated, his voice smooth and hard as a steel plate.  
  
Yujikata resisted the urge to flinch, and mentally chided himself when he felt a touch of nervousness overtake him. Who was this guy? Privates didn't act this way toward their superiors! Hell, even he wouldn't speak to Remerick this way!  
  
"You got some nerve, rookie," Yujikata said menacingly.  
  
"I get that a lot," Ranma said, keeping his eyes and voice perfectly level. He may have had little in the way of social skills, and he couldn't deal with women properly, but when it came to staring down another man with the threat of violence in the air, Ranma was in his element.  
  
Finally, Yujikata flinched and backed away slightly. "Get out of here, you little pricks. I have more important things to do than put you babies in your places."  
  
Ranma snorted and glanced at Kyle, who turned away from Yujikata's desk and gave a subtle wink before heading out of the office.  
  
"Whatever, jerkwad. Thanks for nothing." Ranma turned and left, smiling as he felt the rage and tension pour off of the other man behind him.  
  
Much to Ranma's disappointment, the sergeant refrained from attacking at his back, either from intelligence or fear. Closing the door behind him, Ranma followed Kyle as he dashed into the locker room, and then sat down next to his former superior on one of the empty benches.  
  
"Did you find anything?" Ranma asked hopefully.  
  
Kyle grinned and opened up his jacket, revealing a fairly short white cardboard box covered with pictures of doughnuts printed on it. "Jackpot. The box looks a little worn, so they're probably not fresh, but we won't have to pay for them."  
  
Ranma licked his lips as Kyle opened up the box, then frowned. "What the-? These aren't doughnuts!"  
  
Kyle picked up one of the sheets of Xerox paper in his hand, then held it up, letting the lights on the ceiling of the locker room fully illuminate the item.  
  
"You're right!"  
  
"Aw, damn," Ranma mumbled, turning away. "Maybe we should just go out for breakfast."  
  
"Might as well," Kyle agreed, putting the papers back in the old pastry box, "all that's in here are suspicious and probably incriminating documents. And inedible too." Then he turned to Ranma worriedly. "Do you think we should give this back to him?"  
  
Ranma snorted. "Nah. I say let the jerk recopy everything himself. And after I got myself up extra early just to be here ahead of time. *Sigh*"  
  
Kyle shrugged and held the box under his arm before getting up. "I know a good place to get doughnuts; let's grab one of the cars in the garage and get something to eat."  
  
Ranma blinked as he got up. "Did they give you the keys to one of the cars?"  
  
Kyle shook his head.  
  
"Do you know where they keep the keys to the cars?"  
  
Kyle shook his head again.  
  
"And... we're not taking your car?"  
  
"Sakura has it," Kyle said, entering the garage with Ranma right on his heels. "She said that Junko managed to land her a job, and after she promised me that she wasn't going to go help make some porno flick, I let her take the car." He gave Ranma a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I learned how to operate cars without a key from Tycho."  
  
"Kyle, you're dumber than me," Ranma deadpanned, "how could you know how to do something like that?"  
  
"It takes a remarkably stupid person to imitate Tycho," Kyle reasoned wisely as he approached one of the armored Core patrol cars. They were bulkier and looked far more powerful than the DAPC vehicles, possessing six wheels instead of four, as well as a machine gun mount in front of the sunroof. "The real problem is how we're going to get in the car in the first place."  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. Then he grabbed the door handle.  
  
*KREEEANK!!* The shriek of twisting metal filled the large concrete room as Ranma wrenched the door right off the rest of the car.  
  
*Klang!* "Whew!" Ranma breathed, "that was harder than I thought. I think I might be getting a little out of shape."  
  
Kyle sweatdropped heavily. "Uh... right... out of shape..."  
  
Ranma got in ahead of Kyle to get in the passenger seat, and Kyle sat in the driver's seat before ripping open a panel underneath the steering wheel and began sorting through the wires.  
  
Ranma frowned. "You're going to hotwire it? Don't you think that these things have safeguards against that?"  
  
Kyle nodded as he stuck a finger into the dark recesses of the panel, searching for some vital component. "Exactly. But as Tycho likes to say 'they always cheap out on something. They just try and make it something that nobody'll think of.' Ah! Got it! Quick, jam a pen or something in the keyhole!"  
  
Ranma shrugged and fished around in his pocket for a pen, quickly finding one and following Kyle's instructions.  
  
"Now turn it."  
  
Ranma did so.  
  
*Vrrrrrrrrrm!*  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"I don't believe it..."  
  
Kyle grinned and pulled himself up into the drivers seat before taking hold of the wheel. "We're all set! Let's roll!"  
  
"Wait," Ranma protested, wanting to point out one final obstacle before Kyle got ahead of himself, "do you know how to open the garage door? It's still closed."  
  
Kyle blinked, and then scratched his chin, realizing that, in fact, any and all exits of necessary size were protected by steel barriers.  
  
Then he turned to Ranma. "Which do you think is thicker: the garage door, or the armor on this car?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Probably the armor on this car. Though I think that might void the warranty on this thing."  
  
"After you ripped the door off?"  
  
"Point. Gun it."  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Mizu whistled happily as she stripped off her street clothes and rummaged in her locker for her uniform, preparing for a long shift of patrols and guard duty.  
  
All around her, the other female officers wondered just what had gotten into their fellow recruit. Doing double shifts and being on call twenty-four hours without any additional pay was not a situation that left any of them in the mood to whistle.  
  
Mizu didn't really care about the extra time on the clock though, because she had just learned that the most important aspect of her social life was going to be working alongside her anyway.  
  
After hearing that the DAPC had been disbanded, her primary concern of course was whether or not Ranma was going to be okay. After all, without a good cash flow, Ranma would have a pretty hard time finding an apartment in Tokyo, and if he had in fact become homeless, well, offering the poor man a sympathetic ear and a soft bed was the least she could do. Not that she had an extra bed in her apartment, or any furniture big enough for Ranma to lie down on, but she had been sure that something could have been arranged.  
  
She was only mildly disappointed to find out that he had immediately landed a good job after being discharged, and she was ecstatic when she found out that he was being transferred to Core into her division.  
  
'Ha ha! Now I've got the home field advantage! Eat your heart out, blondie!' Obviously Ranma would need to be shown around the complex and given some kind of orientation, and he wasn't likely to get it unless she took care of it personally. Normally that kind of duty would fall to Yujikata, and Mizu knew full well that the bastard would never take fifteen minutes out of his day to help out someone who couldn't get him fired.  
  
"Well, you look happy today. What's the occasion?" another soldier asked, poking her in the back.  
  
Mizu smiled even more broadly. "A good friend of mine just got the lucky break he's deserved for so long, that's all. He's going to be working with us."  
  
The other woman blinked. "No kidding? Nowadays I'd hardly call landing this job a 'lucky break' though. Especially putting up with Sarge now that all these freaky accidents keep happening." The woman lowered her voice slightly and leaned forward for Mizu's ear. "Speaking of which, look out for Yuji-baka today, he's on a major warpath. One of the guys said that he heard him tearing up his office while swearing like his hand got cut off. I guess he lost something important."  
  
Mizu snorted and finished putting on her boots. "Knowing Sarge, it could be anything from his self-confession of theft and treason to a lottery ticket he bought this morning." She got up and stretched, then headed out of the locker room. "I wouldn't worry yourself about it. His bark is as nasty as they come, but he never bites. See you at briefing."  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Yujikata took several deep breaths as he put on his service jacket, and tried to keep from sweating.  
  
'It just can't be... this can't be happening to me...' this thought was followed by a string of desperate curses as he frantically tried to remember what he had done with his doughnut box.  
  
While the box didn't contain anything so blatantly incriminating as a confession to conspiring with the Fallen Angels, it did contain many documents having to do with the FAs, their weapons, future operations, and certain account information that benefited the large terrorist organization. And while the documents in the box by themselves didn't detail or even suggest that he had anything to do with any of it, he would have an extremely difficult time explaining what it was doing in his office, depending on who found in it his office and under what circumstances.  
  
He didn't even keep such things in headquarters, and had only brought it that day so that he could put Rayden Shikodan's file into it for when he was to drop it off to his contact later that evening. He had placed it very carefully, so that it was hidden at a glance, but not so obviously stowed away that anyone would have cause to believe it was anything other than a box of doughnuts that he didn't want to share. He had even taken great care to keep an eye on it when he could, and monitor everyone who came into his office, like that pigtailed ass and that blond dope that came with him.  
  
But then what had happened to the box?  
  
'Dammit, I don't have time to search for it now.' Yujikata swiftly exited his office, his patience deteriorating along with his mood.  
  
Walking into the main hall, he witnessed the site of the entire Second Division sitting on the benches available on both sides of the room, awaiting their orders. As the first soldiers saw him, they swiftly rose to their feet, all standing at attention and staring straight ahead.  
  
Yujikata frowned. "I understand this is unusual, but I'm going to get it out of the way right now: have any of you seen a doughnut box around here this morning?"  
  
There was a unanimous, synchronized blink as everyone adopted blank, confused looks while still staring straight ahead in "good soldier" mode.  
  
The sergeant growled. "Never mind! None of you morons have the guts to go rummaging through my office anyway!"  
  
Nobody in the hall said a word, quite accustomed to the Sergeant's temper tantrums. Realistically, the tough all-image-and-no-action approach had worn quite thin with them all, and Yujikata had ascended to become unintimidating as well as uninspiring to them, reducing the man simply to a tiresome channel by which they received their assignments. As it was, they only followed his orders because they were supposed to, and could be discharged for opposing him.  
  
While she kept her head perfectly still while facing forward, Mizu's eyes continued searching the ranks of her comrades, failing to see the ruggedly handsome face that she had grown to love so dearly. Where was Ranma? Searching some more, she couldn't even find the dumb blond fellow that had supposedly been transferred with him (how that had happened, she could only begin to guess). Where were they? Didn't they know that briefing starts at nine? Being late on the first day of duty was an offense that could haunt a service record permanently, and make promotions almost impossible.  
  
"Sergeant, permission to speak!" One of the other recruits said suddenly, startling many of those gathered.  
  
Yujikata's eyes narrowed, though his heart skipped a beat as his hope of recovering the lost files jumped. "What?!"  
  
The man swallowed for a moment, then continued. "I was just wondering what happened in the garage?"  
  
The sergeant stared. "What? What's happened to the garage?"  
  
The man blinked, though he didn't stop staring straight ahead. "So... you didn't know? There's a hole in the garage door, a patrol car is missing, and the driver's-side door of that patrol car is lying on the floor in the garage."  
  
Yujikata's eyes widened a bit, and he stared mutely.  
  
The soldier swallowed again nervously. "I, uh, assumed you knew about it. If you had come after it happened, there's no way you could miss it, and if you were here, I'm surprised you didn't hear it. It looks like whoever stole the car just rammed their way out."  
  
Yujikata twitched. The man was right, meaning it had to have happened while he was busy tearing his office apart. He probably made more noise himself than the car did breaking through the door.  
  
Mizu frowned, thinking to herself. Core headquarters had an automated security system, requiring a passcode and a fingerprint to get through the gates. Every single personnel unit, with the exception of the cleaning and maintenance staff, was registered ahead of time and given their own personal passcode to enter the compound. But no alarm had gone off, meaning that the culprits either had to be unfathomably skilled in infiltration, yet be unable to escape with a stolen vehicle without tearing everything apart, or they had security clearance.  
  
"Waitaminute," Yujikata mumbled, "where're those two pricks that were bothering me earlier? Ranma what-his-face and the Colonel's son. Where are they?"  
  
Mizu's eyes widened as she put two and two together. 'On second thought, maybe they won't have to worry about being late for briefing...'  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Ah, yeah, this is the life," Ranma said pleasantly, his feet resting on the dashboard of the patrol car as he scarfed down a maple bar.  
  
Next to him, Kyle sipped some coffee, reading the comics section of the newspaper.  
  
They were currently enjoying their leisure time while parked across the street from a construction site next to the doughnut shop, apparently unconcerned with the 9 o'clock briefing. Of course, with the engine always running even while parked, and with a door having been ripped off, the two new recruits weren't exactly creating a low profile, but few people would have the nerve to walk up to two men in Core service jackets in a Core patrol car and ask what they were up to.  
  
Ranma stared out through the sunroof, shaking his head slightly. "You know, I used to be kind of a responsible guy when I joined up with you, doing what I was told and giving it my all. It took every year of the police academy training to break me of the habit of challenging my superiors and turn me into the perfect soldier." He sighed. "And now look at me."  
  
Kyle nodded. "I know. You've made good progress."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Ah well. I have a lot more fun now than I used to, that's for sure. Still, I'm almost positive there're some regulations or something against what we've done to get this car."  
  
*Phssssst!*  
  
Both men were startled out of their thoughts as static burst from the radio, eventually clearing as a familiar but none-too-pleasant voice became coherent.  
  
*This is Sergeant Yujikata of Core, Division Two! To Privates Ranma Saotome and Kyle Tekai, if you can hear this message, I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be coughing up toenails!! To whoever the %)(& took this car, I'm going to personally %$#!^&$ shoot you in your %$#!~&# head!!*  
  
Kyle winced and covered his ears as the string of curses flowed out of the radio. "He seems... upset."  
  
Ranma snorted and picked up the radio mouthpiece. "That's nothing. If you think he's mad now, check this out."  
  
He cleared his throat, then held down the button. "This is Private Ranma Saotome, we have a 4-1-1 missing persons report, I repeat, a village has declared a missing idiot, a Mr. Yu-ji-ka-ta, I repeat, that's Mr. Yujikata, village idiot. If found, please box him up and ship him back immediately, preferably without airholes. Private Saotome out."  
  
Kyle burst out laughing as Ranma grinned, and they both smirked as an enraged snarl came from the radio.  
  
*WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU LITTLE MOTHER-* *Smash!* The sergeant's expletive was cut off as Ranma crushed the radio with his fist, sending sparks and pieces of plastic scattering onto the interior.  
  
"Damn, someone should do something about that guy," Ranma muttered, pulling his arm back.  
  
Kyle shrugged. "Yeah, Dad warned me about him. He's not too popular, but he seems to have certain connections that keep him in charge. He's not going any higher, but I don't think Core's gonna drop him anytime soon. Especially what with the more frequent terrorist attacks."  
  
Ranma nodded sadly. "Yup. Well, it doesn't look like we're going back to headquarters, so I guess we have the rest of the day to ourselves. What do you wanna do?"  
  
Kyle blinked, then looked toward the construction site. The building was only in its very first stages of construction, and as of now, the whole thing was just a large dirt pit with a few scattered supplies and building materials here and there.  
  
He turned back to Ranma. "You wanna drive the car into the ditch here and dive out at the last second?"  
  
Ranma stared at him. "That's stupid, pointless, and completely reckless," he deadpanned. "We'll jump on three."  
  
*Screeeech!* Kyle floored the gas pedal as he turned the car toward the construction site, and smoke wafted from the pavement as the car nearly flipped over from the sudden turn and acceleration.  
  
"One! Two! Three!" Ranma dove out the window as Kyle tossed himself out the other side, and both men hit the ground rolling as the patrol car hit a heavy pipe on the edge of the pit and jumped up.  
  
Ranma gaped as the six-wheeled armored car flew into the air for a moment, reaching the apex of its flight after covering about a third of the distance across.  
  
Then began its plummet downward, cumulating in an explosion-free, but still spectacular car wreck.  
  
*SMASH!!* *Crumple!* *Crunch!*  
  
Ranma and Kyle peer over the edge of the pit, watching as armor plates and rubber tires went rolling and bouncing in all directions away from the vehicle.  
  
"Yeah, okay, that was pretty cool," Ranma admitted.  
  
Kyle grinned. "Told ya. So now what?"  
  
Ranma jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "Snake said he landed a job at a convenience store. Wanna drop by?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan. Let's find a bus stop."  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
At the bottom of the construction site, an ancient evil stirred. A beast of horrendous origins and malicious intent slowly awakened from its sleep, its tiny brain consumed with only one desire: to feed.  
  
Rising from the dry tomb of dirt, the creature let a hiss pass through its oversized mouth, huge in comparison to its thin, snake-like body, and possessing a quite unnatural-looking collection of sharp, jagged teeth that stuck out of its mouth crookedly.  
  
As consciousness fully returned to it, the ache came forth, triggering a primal, instinctive hunger for flesh and blood.  
  
It was time to eat.  
  
*SMASH!!* *Crumple!* *Crunch!*  
  
Unfortunately for the strange little monster, it hadn't possessed the necessary optical perception to detect the looming shadow of the patrol car until after it had finished its descent, and was thus quickly put into yet another, more permanent state of hibernation.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Igov took a deep breath through his nose, reveling in the scent of oil and grease as he inspected his units.  
  
Fanned out in the front of the spacious warehouse were the old IS-2 soviet tanks, all of them armed and running as the pilots finished preparations to leave.  
  
Smiling brightly with pride, he moved past the obsolete armor and set his gaze on the fresher steel.  
  
{"These... 'boomers' are remarkable machines, are they not? The purity of steel and electricity runs through them in a perfect mold of form and function."} Igov walked up to one of the half-dozen battle robots clustered together behind the tanks and placed a hand on them, stroking the shining blue armor fondly.  
  
Behind him, two other Russians stood at attention. Igov turned toward them and addressed them in Russian. {"I see the other units are here too. This will be the first test of my wife's creations, and the fools that oppose me will be crushed to dust in her name! Gather the men here!"}  
  
As the two soldiers nodded and rushed off to the barracks behind the warehouse, Igov's lips pressed into a thin line, and he turned around.  
  
"And you are being here because...?"  
  
Across the warehouse, watching the terrorist forces assemble, Yoshi Konta chuckled to himself. "I'm only here to see you off, friend. This is the first time you've sent your own creations into the thick of combat, and quite frankly, I'm fascinated." He walked up to one of the larger machines, which was a piloted mech rather than an automated robot, if the cockpit was any indication. "So these are the metal monsters that are to replace my fleshy ones, eh?"  
  
Igov couldn't help but smile slightly. "You will find that mutant claws cannot do the same damage as cannons of Prometheus," he said smugly, walking up to one of the mecha and placing a hand on the steel-armored thigh.  
  
Yoshi shrugged. "And my employers will find that mutant claws are far cheaper and more easily replaced than these 'Prometheus' units of yours." Suddenly he smiled. "But enough of this petty rivalry of ours. I'm truly impressed by what you've accomplished here. I know that your late wife didn't complete her designs on these machines; she was a good engineer, but her life was taken far too early."  
  
Igov's smile faded, and he gazed silently at the diminutive scientist, the lens of his cybernetic eyepiece idly rotating. "...... Igov does not understand why Konta would know this thing."  
  
Yoshi raised an eyebrow at him. "I know many things I don't need to. But they're good to know anyway." He jabbed his chin forward, gesturing to Igov's hand. "Can you even feel that?"  
  
Igov jerked his head to the side to look at his hand, which he realized still rested on the leg of the Prometheus mech. He turned back to Yoshi. "Of course not. Glove is on."  
  
Yoshi smirked. "So why don't you take it off?"  
  
"Igov thinks that Konta knows why," the general said coolly.  
  
"Of course," Yoshi said, grinning, "your eye isn't the only thing that's cybernetic. That much is obvious. It must be hell for you in airports."  
  
"Among other places," Igov said humorlessly, still trying not to look intimidated by the encounter. He was good at it, but at the same time, the knowledge that Yoshi so casually dispensed unnerved him greatly.  
  
Shrugging at Igov's response, Yoshi approached the general while staring at the ceiling, apparently thinking to himself. "Your target is the research and development facility five miles downtown, correct? I've heard about the projects they have there. Very interesting. High-end cybernetic implants that can keep a heart beating indefinitely, replace failed organs, and devices that could conceivably be used to replace bones and tendons with strong, ageless mechanical imitations." He grinned widely at the Russian. "Neat stuff, isn't it? Considering an upgrade for yourself?"  
  
Igov stood up straight and clasped his hands behind his back, turning his expression completely neutral. "Yes, perhaps."  
  
The Yoshi turned away, seemingly disappointed in the response. "Then you might as well forget it. I doubt they have anything that you'd find particularly useful, what with the kind of shape you're in."  
  
Igov blinked, and immediately lost his emotionless demeanor. Just how much did this guy know?  
  
The biogeneticist turned toward the Prometheus mech one last time, his hand cupping his chin. "Still, there are always uses for such technology... we live in a world where the limitations of man are overcome with the construction of machines. It is but one more way for man to intellectually compensate for physiological shortcomings." He turned to Igov and smiled. "You've given me much to think about, friend. Good luck in the attack."  
  
With those final words, Yoshi turned away from the lost, confused expression on Igov's face, and left the warehouse, looking thoughtful.  
  
Igov stared dumbly at the scientist's back, wondering what the hell had just transversed.  
  
{"Sir? The men have been gathered and await your orders."}  
  
The general shook himself out of his daze, and glanced behind him at the soldier that was standing at attention. Then he turned away.  
  
'A man that know so much that would seem to mean so little to him is dangerous indeed. I think I'll need to tread more carefully around Mr. Konta from now on.'  
  
Igov turned toward the back of the warehouse, facing away from the terrorists that toiled around the outdated armor, and toward the numerous Russian soldiers that stood at attention on the upper level platforms along the back of the structure.  
  
Looking up, the general saw that he stood below and just behind a catwalk about twenty-five feet upward.  
  
*Whrr* There was a soft mechanical noise as Igov slowly lowered himself, bunching up his legs, and then the sharp sound of compressed air being released as the Russian warlord suddenly jumped up the full height to land on the catwalk without even stumbling.  
  
There were a few gasps and gaping, but for the most part the gathered soldiers only clapped at the display of unnatural might.  
  
All sound stopped, however, when their general thrust his open hands out, signaling for silence.  
  
{"Friends. Comrades. Brothers. We gather here today, in a foreign land, to celebrate that most ancient of rituals: Warfare!"} Igov's voice boomed throughout the warehouse, and a wave of cheers erupted as the soldiers thrust their fists into the air. {"The blood of our brother, our fathers, and our sons lie behind us. And before us lies a new world. A world that knows not the terrors of the battlefield! A world that sleeps peacefully as their strong and brave are destroyed between the ranks of the enemy! We will change that!"}  
  
{"You have all abandoned your country, left behind your homes and what family you may have..."} he slowly looked from one end of the crowd to the other, the red lens of his cybernetic eye gleaming in the fluorescent lights. {"Why? Because you are afraid? No, for you face greater danger here than in our mother Russia, weak and pitiful as it now. Because you are disloyal? Not at all, for your loyalty lies with the man who has led you to victory. Who has clothed you, fed you, trained you, and armed you."}  
  
{"They've called us things. Petty words. 'Traitors'. 'Deserters'. 'Terrorists'."} He grinned. {"But deserters do not fight. Traitors act against their former allies. And let all that would compare us to this criminal scum be crushed under the wave the of steel!!"}  
  
The cheers began to build, and on the other side of the warehouse the Japanese terrorists watched curiously, unable to understand a word of what was being said.  
  
{"You were born on the fields of battle! You know naught but war! We fight not for freedom, not for anarchy or Communism, but because we are warriors!! Meet the enemy!! AND BURY THEM!!!"} Igov threw his arms wide, and a renewed pulse of ecstatic cheering burst from the Russian ranks as the soldiers rushed to their transports and machines.  
  
Igov let his hands fall, and clasped the rails along the catwalk he was on, smiling as he looked down over his forces.  
  
Behind him, a squad captain approached. {"General, the Angels say they are ready to move out, and all squadrons have their orders. We leave on your command."}  
  
Igov nodded, suddenly staring up at the ceiling. {"............................................."}  
  
{"General?"}  
  
{"He's here,"} Igov muttered softly, almost to himself. {"He knows that it is hopeless. He knows he cannot win, and yet he comes."}  
  
The captain blinked, then gulped as he realized with "he" Igov was talking about. {"General Yutchzky, are you sure?"}  
  
Igov nodded sharply as he turned around, leading the captain down the stairs to the ground level. {"He's not 'here' yet, but he will appear before me soon, if he can. He is voracious like that. Never stopping, never wavering, never taking a target of opportunity or seeking a better way."} Igov grinned as he took a cigarette out of his pocket and proceeded to light it. {"He would make a terrible soldier."}  
  
He took a long drag the from cigarette, then blew out some smoke from the corner of his mouth. {"You'd think someone who has been on as many battlefields as he would know that there is no such thing as 'God'. But he still fights for his pitiful faith, even as he betrays his own soul."}  
  
The captain raised an eyebrow, suddenly very confused as to what exactly his general was talking about. {"Sir?"}  
  
{"Nothing. It is nothing. I was merely thinking aloud,"} Igov clapped a heavy hand on his subordinate's shoulder, and smiled at the younger man. {"Give the order to move out. You know what to do."}  
  
The Captain saluted sharply, and then recited, {"Burn them once, then burn them twice, crush the ashes-"}  
  
{"-As the dead turn to ice,"} Igov finished, grinning fiercely. {"Blood and victory, comrade."}  
  
{"Blood and victory, General!"} the captain shouted enthusiastically before turning toward the main force. {"Move out!"}  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"And here we are!" Kyle said, grinning as he led Ranma up to the gas station, walking past the pumps and up to the door.  
  
Ranma couldn't help but be a bit hesitant as he stepped into the small snack shop. "Man, this has to be a major drag for these guys. Overpaid cops one day, the next day working as a cashier in some little dump."  
  
Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "It 'aint all bad. These guys have really good slushies."  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Yeah. I'll bet that makes it all better."  
  
The two quickly entered, and immediately spied Snake and Tycho at the front of the shop, behind the counter. Snake was putting cigarettes on display on the racks behind the counter, while Tycho was handling the short line of customers, and looking very depressed about it.  
  
"Hey Snake! What's up, man!" Kyle shouted as he walked straight to the counter, ignoring the line of people.  
  
Snake turned around and smiled as he saw his two former co-workers approach. "Saotome, Tekai! You guys made it!" He took one look at their jackets and grinned. "Ah, men of the great Japanese internal military! Brings a tear to my eye, I tell ya!"  
  
Kyle scratched the back of his head a bit nervously. "So you're not still bitter about us getting promoted and you getting laid off?"  
  
Snake snorted. "Pfeh! Of course not! I'm over that. Besides, I already looted the station for everything of value, so I'm set for another decade at least!"  
  
Ranma forced a short laugh. "Eh heh heh... that's... uh... great."  
  
Kyle then turned to Tycho, who was lethargically jabbing the register's keys as he rung up the customers' snacks. "How about you, Wattai? You okay?"  
  
"Meh," he replied, not even looking over as he made change for the customer.  
  
Ranma frowned and addressed Snake. "What's with him?"  
  
Snake shrugged. "I don't really know. He got an even cut of the looting." He looked up at the ceiling in thought for a moment, then nodded slowly to himself. "It's probably just because he had to sell the patrol car to keep his house. He has to take the subway now. I guess he's taken it pretty hard."  
  
"Wait," Ranma began as a thought occurred to him, "if you guys took so much stuff, couldn't he sell some other junk and keep the car?"  
  
Snake shook his head. "We already drank most of the booze, and you'd be surprised at how hard it is to find legal buyers for fireburst grenades and armor-piercing sniper cannons in Tokyo."  
  
Ranma thought about that for a moment. "No, I don't actually think I would be."  
  
"So, how's business around here?" Kyle asked, hoping to change the subject.  
  
"Here's your money and your smokes," Tycho mumbled, putting the plastic-wrapped package in a plastic bag and pushing it toward the customer.  
  
The man picked up the bag. "Thank you. Have a good day."  
  
"Sure," Tycho muttered, casting a glare at Snake as the gun nut theorized about Tycho's depression.  
  
The man hesitated in leaving, and then cleared his throat. "You know, you could be more polite when a customer makes a purchase."  
  
Tycho stared at the man for a moment, then rolled his eyes. "Fine, have it your way. Please leave, you're holding up the line."  
  
"No, see, this is just what I was talking about. It's just rude," the customer insisted.  
  
Tycho twitched for a moment, and grit his teeth into a sort of forced smile. "Why, I'm so sorry, sir. I don't know what came over me. To think that I, merely plunged into the arms of depression and poverty, could let something so trivial as the MISERABLE STATE of my own life jeopardize the QUALITY OF YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE EXPERIENCE!!!" The man gaped and backed away as Tycho stood up behind the counter. "HAVE A GLORIOUS DAY, AND THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY STUPID JOB THAT MUCH HARDER!!!"  
  
Ranma, Kyle, and Snake all watched as the man scrambled for the exit, as well as a few other customers that hadn't yet bought anything.  
  
Snake turned back to Kyle, "So, to answer your question, business isn't that great, but we get paid the same anyway, so we don't care."  
  
Kyle sweatdropped. "Ah. Well, that's... good?"  
  
Snake shook his head and clapped Ranma on the shoulder. "Enough about us, tell us about you! What's Core like?"  
  
Ranma shrugged. "I kinda liked it better working with you guys. The boss's a real jerk, and without a real leader like Asuka around, I find myself doing stupid stuff with Kyle."  
  
Snake smiled and nodded. "Oh yeah. That brings back memories. Did you do the thing where you roll the car into a big hole and jump out at the last second?"  
  
Ranma blinked in surprise. "Uh, yeah, actually."  
  
"We had to hotwire the car first. That was a real pain," Kyle added.  
  
Ranma looked back and forth between Snake and Kyle. "You mean you guys used to do stuff like this in the DA?"  
  
Kyle looked sheepish. "At first, yeah. But when Asuka got to us..." he whistled. "She's not all talk like that Yujikata guy. I was seriously scared to let my car get dinged for at least two months after I pulled that stunt for the first time."  
  
Snake nodded, resting on his elbows as he leaned over the counter. "Takami could never quite get used to us, but she at least made sure we trashed other people's stuff. She's one tough chick."  
  
Ranma mused over that thought for a moment, smiling to himself. It was certainly true; he'd never have the guts or desire to antagonize Asuka the way he had done to Yujikata already. His current commanding officer just seemed to be a jerk and a coward, which led Ranma to thinking (not for the first time) about just how careful Core was about filling its ranks.  
  
"ALL RIGHT, PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE 'EM AND OPEN THE CASH REGISTER, NOW!!!" A sudden yell from the front counter startled the three men out of their thoughts, and they turned to see a middle-aged man with unusually long and dirty hair holding a switchblade in Tycho's face.  
  
Tycho blinked, and the man waved the knife back and forth.  
  
"What are you, stupid?! I said open the register!! NOW!!! I'm gonna cut you open so bad, your grandkids'll bleed!"  
  
Tycho's eyes narrowed. "Who are you calling stupid?" He deadpanned. "You walk into a convenience store in the middle of the day in broad daylight, without a mask or gloves or anything, and try to hold up a cashier with a knife right next to a pair of military guys packing heat."  
  
The thief blinked, and then turned to his left, where he saw Ranma and Kyle staring at him, and saw that they did, in fact, each have a handgun at their hips.  
  
"Er...... just kidding?" he tried pitifully, letting his hand holding the knife drop.  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes and stepped forward, prepared to apprehend the moron without a knife.  
  
Suddenly, Snake thrust a hand out in front of Ranma, halting him. "Hold up." Then he addressed the robber. "You're a Freedom's Angel, aren't you?"  
  
The man snarled, flexing the arm that displayed a cobra in barbed wire. "Yeah, what of it you ass-" he then halted, suddenly remembering his position. "... I, uh, mean... no. No, I'm not."  
  
Snake smirked slightly as he glanced at Ranma. "I'll handle this." Then he ducked down under the counter.  
  
The robber blinked, and stared uneasily at the soldiers. "Uh... does this mean I can go?"  
  
"Probably," Tycho said humorlessly, "though I question whether you'll still be alive when they cart you out of here."  
  
As if to confirm the validity of that concern, Snake popped back up from under the counter with a double-barreled shotgun in hand. "Heh heh heh! I'm gonna enjoy this!" Snake lowered the weapon and aimed it at the stunned criminal, only to have the barrel suddenly grabbed and yanked toward the floor.  
  
*BLAM!!* "Whoa!" The thief jerked back as tile and deflected buckshot scraped his legs, and the man nearly fell over in shock.  
  
Ranma winced as the noise from the shot pierced his ears, then yanked the gun away. "I don't think so!"  
  
Snake gaped, taken aback. "What? What was I doing?"  
  
Kyle looked similarly confused. "Yeah? What's wrong?"  
  
"Don't give me that!" Ranma yelled, holding up the gun. "Snake, you're not a cop anymore! You can't own guns!"  
  
Snake, Kyle, and Tycho all stared at him for a moment.  
  
"......... Seriously?" Snake asked, looking devastated.  
  
Ranma groaned. Then he kicked out behind him, tripping the robber who had been trying to sneak away. "You stay where you are, punk!"  
  
Kyle waved his hands in the air, gesturing for everyone to calm down. "Now hold up Ranma. Snake's a buddy of ours. I think it's okay."  
  
"What?" Ranma said incredulously. "We can't just let people we like do what they want!"  
  
Kyle blinked. "Why not?"  
  
"Why not?!" Ranma yelled, "we can't because, uh... because...... well, I don't know why, but there's probably a very good reason!"  
  
Kyle scratched his chin. "I dunno... I mean, Snake's a former police officer, at least, and this guy is a terrorist and a thief..."  
  
Ranma frowned, then sighed and turned to Snake. "Just hold on. We'll work this out. Just make sure he doesn't go anywhere."  
  
Snake and Tycho watched curiously as Ranma led Kyle out of the store.  
  
The man on the floor kept an eye on the two soldiers until they exited, then cautiously turned toward the front counter again.  
  
"So... is it safe to rob you now, or what?"  
  
Snake glared at him. "Just try it. I have bigger guns than that under here."  
  
"And plastic explosives," Tycho added cheerlessly. "I really wish you'd move that stuff. You're probably violating all sorts of fire safety ordinances."  
  
Snake just rolled his eyes. "Whine, whine, whine..."  
  
Before the banter could continue, Ranma and Kyle re-entered the shop, both of them looking serious.  
  
Ranma glanced at the unkempt criminal still on the floor, then cleared his throat. "*Ah-hem* After thinking it over, we've decided you can keep your guns, Snake."  
  
The former lieutenant brightened considerably.  
  
Kyle nodded. "Also, we've decided that you can shoot this guy for trying to rob you, but you can't kill him."  
  
The man's eyes widened. "Wh-WHAT?!?!"  
  
Snake blinked, then shrugged. "Okay."  
  
Ranma handed him back his shotgun. "I'd suggest using something smaller than that. Or I can lend you my gun if you need it."  
  
"HEY!!! HOLD ON JUST A SECOND HERE!!!"  
  
Snake grinned at his former co-worker. "Naw, I'm covered. But thanks Ranma. You're all right."  
  
"YOU CAN'T JUST LET HIM SHOOT ME!!! THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW!!!"  
  
Snake snorted as he grabbed a 9 mm. from below the register. "Please. You have long since abandoned the law. And with its regulations, so do you discard its protection."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "I don't necessarily agree with all that, but I have to admit that it sounded really cool." Next to him, Kyle nodded sagely.  
  
The criminal backed away, cringing. "Who... Who are you people?!"  
  
Snake brought the pistol up and took aim at the shoulder, his face a mask of cold neutrality. "We are the former officers of the DAPC." *C-click* "Have a nice day, and please come again."  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Sluuuurp* Ranma sucked up the last of his slushie as he followed Kyle off the bus, and quickly found a waste bin to toss it into.  
  
Kyle looked up at the perfectly partitioned concrete tower and whistled. "Now that's a lotta cars."  
  
Ranma sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Cashiers and parking complex security guards. How the mighty have fallen."  
  
Kyle shrugged. "At least Asuka makes more than minimum wage here. C'mon, let's go find her."  
  
It didn't take long before they spied the bluette in a security booth in front of the entry gate. Surprisingly, the young woman was sleeping soundly at her post, her arms hanging down limply as her head rested on the edge of the counter she was sitting at.  
  
Ranma and Kyle looked at each other.  
  
"Wow, you know... she's pretty cute when she's sleeping," Ranma said honestly. The way she her lips were curved into a slight smile, and the way Asuka remained perfectly still as she rested was a stark contrast to Akane's old sleeping habits, which had involved enough tossing and turning to keep even Happousai at a distance.  
  
"Yeah," Kyle agreed, "she looks so peaceful like that. If it weren't for the name tag, I'd think she was a somebody else."  
  
*Choo!* Asuka suddenly let out a tiny, feminine sneeze, and rapidly blinked her eyes as she began to regain consciousness.  
  
"Wh-Wha? Whos'ere?" Rubbing her eyes, the former police captain looked up drowsily.  
  
Then she blinked some more as she saw who was in front of her.  
  
"Hi Captain!" Kyel greeted sunnily.  
  
"GAH!!" Asuka jumped back in her chair, blushing badly and breathing hard.  
  
"Asuka? What's wrong?" Ranma asked in concern, reaching forward.  
  
Asuka jerked back as he did so, and clapped her hands onto her cheeks, mortified. "Oh my God! How did you... where did you... wha-what are you doing here?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "We're checking up on you. Are you all right?"  
  
Asuka's face turned a shade of red brighter, and she began studying the small concrete floor of her tiny "office". "Oh gosh... this is so embarrassing..."  
  
"Calm down. What's so embarrassing about it?" Ranma asked curiously.  
  
She sighed and finally let her hands fall into her lap. "It's just... you know... for a while now I've been in charge of you two, and now you've moved on and I'm a low-wage security guard at a parking lot..." She looked up sharply. "Not that I'm staying here! This is only temporary! I'll get a real job soon!"  
  
Ranma put his palms up peaceably, realizing that his former superior had become quite excitable recently. "Right! You're absolutely right! I mean, you were really good at your job! You have skills an' stuff!"  
  
Asuka's demeanor turned from determined to crestfallen in the space of a second. "Oh, who am I kidding? Employers treat any resume with the letters 'DAPC' on it like a smallpox sample. Hell, I had to take it off just to land this job! But without my experience as a police captain, I have nothing to show for the last..." she trailed off, then turned toward Kyle. "How many years was it?"  
  
Kyle blinked, then looked up in thought as he began counting off on his fingers. Finally, he nodded and looked back down.  
  
"Several."  
  
Ranma and Asuka rolled their eyes.  
  
"Look, I'm sure things'll get better for you," Ranma insisted, trying to cheer her up. "You're a pretty good boss, and you're good in a fight."  
  
"Sure," Asuka agreed wryly, "what with all the civilian careers out there that can use a good fighter."  
  
Ranma opened his mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. ".......... Okay, you win. It's hopeless," he admitted.  
  
Asuka sighed, but smiled a little bit. "Well, things could be worse. This is easy, at least, and there's none of the pressure and stress that I had putting up with you lunatics."  
  
Kyle nodded rapidly. "Yeah! There's that, at least!"  
  
"But at the same time..." Asuka considered, glancing at Ranma out of the corner of her eye, "... I sort of miss you guys."  
  
Kyle and Ranma blinked. Then they stared.  
  
"You mean... like... 'you guys' as in us?" Kyle asked, baffled.  
  
"Yes," Asuka said wryly.  
  
"Like, which 'guys' are you talking about specifically?" Ranma asked.  
  
"All of you," Asuka said flatly, wondering if perhaps she overplayed her frustration with her subordinates back when she was captain.  
  
Ranma's eyes widened. "Even Snake?"  
  
Asuka nodded, hesitating only a moment. "Even Snake."  
  
"And Tycho too?" Kyle asked, totally mystified.  
  
"Well, no," Asuka admitted. "Though I do miss Tiro a little bit. It's always a little nice to have someone come onto you, even if you absolutely despise him."  
  
She shook her head and nodded toward Ranma. "You know what? Enough about me. How's Core?"  
  
Ranma shrugged. "It kinda sucks. The guy in charge is a real jerk."  
  
Asuka blinked. "You mean Remerick?"  
  
"Naw, his name's Yujikata. He's only a sergeant," Kyle clarified. "The guy bit our heads off for showing up early and asking for doughnuts, and then tried to pick a fight with Saotome."  
  
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Unlikable and unwise, eh?" Then she closed her eyes and smirked. "Maybe now you'll learn to appreciate your more effective superiors, hmm?"  
  
Both Kyle and Ranma blushed slightly. "Uh... right..." "Sorry."  
  
"Well, if he's that bad, you could always try driving a patrol car into a pit like you did with me," she muttered a tad bitterly, shrugging.  
  
"Already did that," Kyle asserted, "plus, Ranma made fun of him."  
  
"Oh," Asuka said, not looking surprised at all. "Well, you could always set his car on fire."  
  
Ranma's eyes widened. "They did that to you?!"  
  
"Twice," Kyle admitted sheepishly, "though it wasn't out of malice or anything. We were just curious to see if they'd really explode like in movies."  
  
"And?" Ranma asked, a bit curious himself.  
  
"We're still not sure. Asuka kept stopping us before the fuel tank went up." Kyle shrugged, and then clapped his hands together. "That's a good idea, though. I'd forgotten about that."  
  
Asuka turned a half-lidded gaze toward Ranma. "I hope this guy's as bad as you say he is."  
  
"I hope so too," Ranma muttered, sweatdropping. If Yujikata turned out to be a reasonably decent guy who was just having a bad morning, he'd end up feeling pretty bad about the way he was acting... for at least a day or so.  
  
Kyle stretched his arms for a moment, then waved to his former superior. "Well, so long. We're gonna visit Sakura and Junko next."  
  
Asuka blinked. "So they got jobs already too, huh? What are they doing?"  
  
"We don't know yet," Ranma muttered as he started toward the exit, "but Junko told Kyle it was clean, at least."  
  
"Really?" Asuka said thoughtfully. "Hum. I wonder what Chikiko's definition of 'clean' is."  
  
Ranma and Kyle turned to stare at each other for a moment.  
  
"You know, maybe we should take a cab rather than waiting for the bus."  
  
"That is a great idea."  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Flash* *Flash* *Flash*  
  
Sakura tried to keep from blinking as the bright lights flooded her eyes again and again, and once more wondered at the personal dignity involved in her newly established line of work.  
  
"Give it to me baby! Come on! Show me some attitude!"  
  
Sakura turned and twisted to one side, showing off her thigh and back to the camera.  
  
*Flash* *Flash* "That's it! That's it! Remember, we're selling the body, not the brassiere!"  
  
The artsy-looking guy handling the camera turned toward Junko, who was sitting casually in a lounge chair next to the small dressing room backdrop. "Chikiko, you're faaaaabulous! I love her!"  
  
The redhead smiled. "I told you that you would. Thanks for letting me have my old job back."  
  
He waved a hand at her, shaking his head. "Oh, please! I could never deny you anything, darling! I only wonder why you left!"  
  
Junko shrugged, placing her arms behind her head as she laid back. "Sometimes a girl's just gotta move on, you know?"  
  
As the photographer left for the back room of the studio, Sakura slowly walked up to her friend, blushing slightly. "Junko, I... I just don't know about this..."  
  
Junko rolled her eyes. "What? They're not asking you to do anything extreme. All you have to do is look good."  
  
Sakura nodded slightly, despite herself. "Well, yeah, but... I don't know... lingerie modeling just seems so wrong after spending four years in nursing school."  
  
"Well, if four years couldn't get you stay conscious at the sight of a bloody wound, then you can chalk 'em up as a waste anyway," Junko said wryly.  
  
Sakura sighed, but nodded somberly.  
  
"Hey! Let me through!"  
  
"Make way! Make way!"  
  
Junko blinked as she heard some commotion in the hallway outside the photo studio. "Hey Tekai, isn't that you're brother's voice?"  
  
Sakura blushed deeply. "Uh oh..."  
  
*Bam!* The doors to the studio burst open, and the single security guard that was on duty inside immediately moved between the two men that entered and the numerous models who were lying about the room.  
  
Kyle quickly scanned the room, groaning as he found his sister. Sakura was wearing a virgin white silk set bra and panties, and standing next to Junko, who was wearing a one-piece slip the same color as his hair.  
  
"Uhm... hi Kyle," Sakura said sheepishly, waving.  
  
Before the blond man could say anything else, the security guard had laid a hand on him and Ranma's shoulders. "This is a closed set. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you two to leave."  
  
Ranma simply stared around the room, looking bewildered. Kyle angrily pushed forward.  
  
"No way! That's my little sister in there!"  
  
The guard nodded in understanding, but still pushed him back. "We get that more often than you'd think. But I still have to ask you to go."  
  
Kyle stopped struggling and frowned. "Fine." *Thock!*  
  
Kyle withdrew his fist as the guard crumpled to the floor, and then slowly stalked toward where his sister was standing, trying to cover herself as best she could.  
  
Junko whistled. "Wow. Saotome must've rubbed off on him a little bit."  
  
"What am I going to do?" Sakura whispered, mortified, "he even brought Ranma with him!"  
  
"You could try losing the bra. That might help," Junko said seriously.  
  
Before Sakura could even contemplate Junko's ridiculous suggestion, Kyle walked up to Sakura and crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at her.  
  
"Sis, what are you doing in a place like this?" Kyle demanded, doing his best to look authoritive (and succeeding to a surprising degree).  
  
Sakura twiddled her fingers nervously as she looked down, blushing brightly. "Well... it's not that bad... and it's pretty easy money..."  
  
"Easy money?!" Kyle shouted, "what am I gonna tell Dad when he sees pictures of you in your underwear hanging on the all the corner newsstands?! Junko's been a terrible influence on you!"  
  
"Oh, sure. Blame the cheap nymphomaniac," Junko mumbled irritably.  
  
"And what's wrong with you, anyway?" Kyle asked, turning toward Ranma, "you've barely moved since we came in here!"  
  
Ranma blinked slowly, orienting his gaze on Kyle. "I'm surrounded by women in their underwear, and they're not beating me up. It takes some getting used to."  
  
Kyle held his face in his hands.  
  
Ranma frowned as Sakura continued fiddling nervously. "Why are you working at a place like this, anyway? I thought this kinda work was degrading and stuff."  
  
Junko snorted. "That's just something ugly women say because they can't land jobs like this."  
  
"Anyway, it doesn't matter," Kyle said, taking Sakura's hand. "We're going. If you need to find a real job, I can help you, but you shouldn't have to lower yourself to this. You're better than that, sis."  
  
"All right..." Sakura said, letting Kyle lead her to the door. Even if she didn't see what the big deal was, he had a point about having to explain it to their parents.  
  
"What's going on here?" Everybody in the room turned toward the photographer as he re-entered the studio.  
  
The man quickly noticed Kyle and Ranma, and he blinked. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm-" Kyle started to introduce himself, when the photographer immediately put and hand up, signaling for silence.  
  
"Wait! Never mind. Just hold still." As Kyle stood froze in absolute confusion, the man held up his palms flat in front of him with his thumbs touching. "Hmmm... I like what I'm seeing..."  
  
"You... what?" Kyle sweatdropped.  
  
"And you!" The photographer declared, turning toward Ranma and looking him up and down, "I see definite potential here!"  
  
Ranma didn't really know how to respond to that, so he merely bore the inspection wearily, rubbing his head.  
  
Finally, the photographer stood up. "You, with the pigtail. Drop the pants."  
  
"Drop dead," Ranma responded without hesitation.  
  
"Hey! There's something going on outside!" One of the models that had been watching the exchange from next to a window pointed down toward the street.  
  
As a sinking feeling took hold in the pit of Ranma's stomach, he dashed to the window to find out what had attracted such attention.  
  
To see two police cars controlling a flood of vehicle and pedestrian traffic out of a single road was a sight far better than what he had hoped for, but it was still a warning of great danger.  
  
Ranma turned toward his companions. "It's an evacuation! We have to settle this quickly!"  
  
He rushed up to Kyle, and then poked him in the chest. "Kyle, you're being too overprotective of Sakura. She's an adult and can make her own decisions."  
  
Then he turned to Sakura. "Sakura, you're letting everyone pull you around by the nose. Make your own decisions, would ya?"  
  
Finally, his gaze met Junko's. "Junko, nobody's taking any pictures of you right now. Put on some damn clothes!"  
  
Without another word, the newly enlisted soldier grabbed his partner and rushed from the room toward the streets below.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"We've got an emergency call from a police unit!! We have a number of Russian armor units moving southwest near the bay!!" A Core technician rushed through the briefing hall through the throngs of soldiers, waving a paper sheet above his head as he made haste to the sergeant's office.  
  
All around the hall, the Core infantry that were stationed at HQ between their patrols departed for the armory to await commands after getting fully ready for combat.  
  
The technician stopped at the door of Yujikata's office, and was quickly joined by a corporal who was already in his protect-gear, sans helmet.  
  
The corporal took the briefing and dismissed the technician, and a moment later Yujikata came out of his office.  
  
"What do you want, maggot?" Yujikata asked tiredly. Damn that Saotome to hell! That bastard was gonna pay for treating him like that!  
  
"Sergeant!" The corporal said, saluting and holding out the report. "Russian armor units were spotted moving down the main avenue in the warehouse district! It must be Yuchtzky's men making an assault! The surrounding areas have been evacuated and we have orders to intercept and destroy all hostiles!"  
  
Yujikata took the report wearily and pretended to read it as his subordinate continued.  
  
"Intelligence is sketchy given how quickly we received this information and the suddenness of the attack, but from all the descriptions we have, the tanks are an obsolete model, but have some kind of supporting vehicles that we have no information on. Police reports say that a giant smoke screen is moving with the armor column, obscuring the force's full strength. SWAT teams are being gathered at their HQs for anti-armor equipping, but everything and everyone else has been ordered to the edge of the evacuation zone until SWAT and Core forces are prepared for deployment. General Remerick has been called to a meeting with the Prime Minister about the evacuation, and Colonel Tokima has been redirected onto the field already."  
  
Yujikata nodded, balling up the briefing in his fist and tossing it back over his shoulder. "They're heading for the Tokoyama prison on the outskirts. We'll engage them there."  
  
The corporal blinked. They were? That wasn't on the report. "Are you certain?"  
  
"Don't talk back to me, nitwit!" Yujikata growled, "it's the only place that they'd want to bust into in that direction!"  
  
The corporal sincerely doubted that; there were a number of targets generally southwest of the bay that would be far more valuable than a number of released prisoners to swell the terrorists' ranks.  
  
"Order all units to converge on the prison immediately. Once we reach it, we'll regroup and meet the enemy head-on."  
  
"Sergeant?" The corporal asked again, uncertainly. "Nearly all the men are out on patrols without heavy weapons or protect-gear. Wouldn't it be wiser to have them regroup here at HQ first, or, if speed is absolutely critical, to have the units here suit up and move out and have the units on patrol engage later in a separate wave? I'm sure that Colonel Tokima could-"  
  
"SHUT UP!!" Yujikata yelled, glaring at the man. "I said we're moving out, so we're MOVING OUT. NOW. Relay my orders to the troops at once and get your ass to the prison. The next time you question one of my orders, I'm going to have you &^%$#!~ shot!!"  
  
The corporal resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and nodded obediently. "Right away Sergeant."  
  
As the corporal left, Yujikata shook his head. The brainy little bastards they stuck him with were always trying to one-up his decisions, and when it so happened that his authority over the troops was really the only advantage he held in his division, it was grating to have his subordinates throwing out superior tactics and strategic decisions every time he made a move.  
  
He grinned a little bit as he headed for the armor himself, and his special protect-gear locker. It didn't really matter. If things went as his contact had told him last night, there would be a lot less of the brainy little bastards after today.  
  
*****************************************************************************************  
  
Ninjas eaten alive: 1  
  
Criminals that aren't dead, but really wish they were: 1  
  
End Chapter 13 


	14. Counterstrike

Guardian  
  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
In case anybody really was worried about me after that last chapter, don't be. I mean, come on! I'm a single, male, 19-year old geek who plays video games and writes stupid stories all day! I don't have feelings!  
  
The Prometheus mechs are based on heavy combat mechs from an old SNES game called Metal Warriors. Bitchin' machines.  
  
Oh yeah. Ranma doesn't belong to me, everybody else does, and Ken Yakata is NOT Solid Snake from Metal Gear. So there!  
  
This chapter is dedicated to my special buddy and prereader Josh Temple, who really, really hates hippies.  
  
Guardian  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Counterstrike  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
*{All units are away. The Prometheus mecha are advancing ahead of schedule, and the retrievement convoy is en route. The smokescreens we've deployed are working better than projected, though they seem to be making the terrorists nervous}*  
  
{"Excellent,"} Igov said seemingly to himself, his hand pressed against the metal plate installed over his ear, {"In these conditions, the Japanese defense forces possess a significant advantage. In their confidence, they will not know what hit them until it's too late. Continue the march, and keep the terrorists from fleeing. They don't have very strong loyalties. Yutchzky out."} Taking his finger off the communicator mounted on the side of his skull, Igov looked out the window of his armored transport at the pale gray fog.  
  
{"Once again I travel to the field of battle... I wonder what Nadia is doing now..."} The Russian cyborg sighed wistfully and leaned back in his seat. 'I can do nothing for the poor girl. She is not like her parents. She has no love for my business.' It was why he had left her in Russia, left her among the political backstabbers and murderous government agencies. Nadia was simply a normal schoolgirl with a knack for mathematics, and even after his wife had been killed and Russian soldiers had been given orders to shoot him on sight, he was secure in the knowledge that his daughter would not be harmed. When Llydia had been slain, she had simply nodded sadly, crying softly, as the unsympathetic government official told them coldly to their faces that she had been killed in a car accident. She was weak, helpless, and naive. She was no threat to anyone.  
  
'So unlike her father,' Igov thought wryly, 'so VERY unlike her father.'  
  
*Fshhhhhhhhh* The sound of rocket jets burning overhead reached the transport, and Igov shook his head.  
  
'Now is not a time for sentimentality. Such things have led to the defeat of greater generals than I.' His face hardened, and the lens of his cybernetic eye glowed crimson, casting the interior of the small cabin in an eerie red.  
  
{"The hour is at hand. I will crush all who oppose me!"}  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Damn. I don't like this at all," Ranma mumbled as he stared at the walls of gray smoke that had settled in the streets.  
  
"What do you suppose is happening?" Kyle asked. "This a damn thick fog, 'aint it?"  
  
"Ugh," Ranma waved his hand in front of his face, having some trouble breathing in the smokescreen. "This isn't fog. Something's up."  
  
Kyle blinked, then nodded. "You're right...... so what should we do?"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "I have no idea. You used to be the commanding officer; don't you have any ideas?"  
  
Kyle stared at him blankly.  
  
*Sigh* "Right, right. Never mind."  
  
*Poom*  
  
"Eh?" Ranma turned around sharply as he heard a distant cannon fire.  
  
"Whoa!" Kyle gasped as a flash of light pierced the fog, "hey, there's a fight going on!"  
  
"Great," Ranma mumbled, "and here we are without any transportation, in the middle of a huge smoke cloud, and armed only with handguns." For Ranma, these factors didn't pose TOO big a problem, but he would have felt much better if Kyle was at his side with a bigger weapon than he had now.  
  
"Well... I can't do anything about the rest of that, but my car is here, and Junko can give Sakura a ride home," Kyle offered. "So, if you want, we could go out there, but that looked like a cannon shot, and you're right in that all we have are handguns, so..."  
  
Ranma nodded sadly. "Yeah, and besides, it's so hard to see in this smoke that I'm sure we'd get in an accident."  
  
"Pardon me, but can you help us?"  
  
The two Core soldiers turned around to see a couple of teenagers holding a newspaper clipping. They both had long, unkempt hair and were wearing ragged tie-dye clothing.  
  
"We're looking for the Nimiaka Center for Advanced Technology, but we're lost, and then this huge smokescreen billowed up out of nowhere." He shrugged helplessly.  
  
"Oh, no problem," Kyle said, turning around and pointing down the street, "just go about ten miles that way, until you get to Kyoushou Street, then make a right. Then keep going until you reach the post office, and turn left. It's right there."  
  
"Thanks, man," the other youth said.  
  
"Uh... I know it's none of my business, but why are you going there? You two don't really look like... um... researchers, you know?" Ranma asked curiously. "And given that there are missiles falling into the streets building up a huge smokescreen, this probably isn't the best time to be out anyway."  
  
The first youth crossed his arms over his chest. "No smog cloud is going to keep us from doing our duty as members of humanity and tenants of mother nature!"  
  
"Yes!" The second one agreed. "Though the buildup of years of pollution caused by evil industrialists and the greedy, materialistic masses are now actively working to thwart our plans, nothing will stop us from reaching our goal!"  
  
Ranma and Kyle blinked in tandem. "Huh?"  
  
"The Nimiaka Center is demonstrating the newest technology innovations today, and we've organized a protest to discredit the projects there and shut down the labs!"  
  
"The new weapons they seek to unleash will never see use while we're around to stop them!"  
  
"Weapons?" Kyle asked, scratching his head, "but I read about that... I thought they were going to showcase some kind of robotic medical stuff..."  
  
"Yes!" the first teen shouted angrily, "alongside a new killing machine they call a 'rail gun'! Plus some new kind of metal, which will no doubt be used to create more devices of death! It's unforgivable! That place must be shut down! Who knows how many lives their evil inventions will take! And all to make some money! As if a price can be put on a human life! It's disgusting!"  
  
"Indeed! We must all cast away our weapons forever, join hands in peace, and live together in harmony! There is no difference men have that cannot be resolved with words!"  
  
Ranma and Kyle looked at the pair of youths like one would a hideous alien being that had just stepped up and asked for directions to the post office.  
  
Then, Ranma leaned toward Kyle. "Hippie alert," he whispered.  
  
"Ah, I see. That would explain the 'Nimiaka is Hitler' sign," he whispered back, "I wonder if they know that the center's named after a dead guy."  
  
"I implore you! Officers! Soldiers! Whoever you are!" one of the youths proclaimed, clapping his hands on both men's shoulder, "toss away your guns! You only progress the cycle of hatred! Violence never solves anything!"  
  
"IT DOESN'T?!?!" Kyle shouted, so honestly shocked that even the two addle-brained teens sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh, don't listen to them," Ranma mumbled. "Look, you kids have your directions, so go try and shut down the center or whatever, okay? We're trying to deal with real problems, here."  
  
"Fine, conformist drone! Toil for the bourgeoisie masters that hold your leash!"  
  
"It's because of foolish sheep like you that the world has fallen into chaos and violence!"  
  
"No, it's because of twits similar to you who aren't dumb enough to buy into all that 'love and peace' crap!" Ranma shouted after them before turning away irritably. "Stupid punks... why don't those losers just get a job instead of whining all the time?"  
  
Kyle watched them go, then frowned and turned toward Ranma. "Hey, shouldn't we arrest them?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Why? They haven't done anything wrong. Well, legally, I mean."  
  
"Yes they have!" Kyle protested, "they're hippies!"  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Yes... but that's not illegal."  
  
Kyle blinked, once again honestly shocked. "It's... it's not?"  
  
"Nope," Ranma confirmed, "we can't just start arresting everybody for being stupid. There'd be no room in prison for the real criminals."  
  
"So, when Snake had that one animal rights meeting shut down and all its members jailed without trial, that was-"  
  
"Illegal," Ranma concluded, nodding. "But it was still pretty funny."  
  
Kyle nodded slowly, considering this. "Did they ever get out?"  
  
"I dunno. Probably not."  
  
"Ah," the blond murmured, his mind beginning to drift.  
  
After a few moments, Kyle snickered.  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. I'll bite. What's so funny?"  
  
Kyle snickered some more. "I was just thinking, wouldn't it be ironic if the terrorists were attacking the technology expo?"  
  
Ranma's eyes widened. "Er... why... why would they do that? You said it was mostly medical stuff, right? I mean, some fancy gun can't be worth sending an army over there..."  
  
"Well, sure," Kyle reasoned, scratching his head thoughtfully, "but, you know, everything that can't be used to kill people can be used to keep people from being killed, or at the very least, be worth a lot of money, you know?" He chuckled again. "And then, you know, those people protesting the weapons that they're developing to fight the terrorists might get blown up by the terrorists. That'd be pretty weird, huh?"  
  
Kyle turned toward Ranma, only to see the martial artist staring at him intently. "Uh... something wrong?"  
  
"K-Kyle..." Ranma mumbled, "did you hit your head or something?"  
  
He blinked. "Well, that depends. What time frame are we talking about here?"  
  
"Never mind!" Ranma shouted, "get into the car, now!"  
  
Kyle immediately began to panic, and took out his keys. "What? Where are we going?!"  
  
*Slam!* Ranma got into the driver's side seat.  
  
"C'mon! We're going to my house!"  
  
"What?" Kyle mumbled, slipping into the driver's seat, "why?"  
  
"Because it's on the way to the technology center," Ranma said. "Maybe I'm just overreacting, but it looks to me like you got lucky and hit a bulls-eye this time."  
  
Kyle nodded seriously and started up the car before taking off down the road.  
  
"Hey, maybe we can go over to the place where Snake and Tycho are working! It's out of the way Snake has bigger weapons, and I'm sure that Tycho can make up for the time we've lost if I let him drive."  
  
"You must not like this car very much," Ranma theorized, "no, I don't think we'll be needing bigger guns."  
  
"Oh. Okay," Kyle shrugged off Ranma's response, and concentrated on the road. ".................... So, what was that about me hitting a bulls-eye? Did I say something smart?"  
  
"Shut up and drive."  
  
"Okay."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Mother of God... I can't believe how BORING this is..." Asuka moaned and leaned over the desk of the small security kiosk, her face in her hands.  
  
Sighing, she watched as numerous cars sped by in waves, going far faster than was considered safe.  
  
This led to thoughts of Tycho Wattai, and Asuka promptly squeezed her eyes shut and began banging her head on the desk.  
  
*Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* "No, no, NO!!" Then she groaned with her face in her arms. "I need to get myself committed or something... I'm a smart, sensible woman. There's no way I can miss the countless life-and-death battles, the pointless arguments, the perverted co-workers, those idiot hussies I had to work with, and that freakish gun nut!"  
  
She slammed her fist down on the desk, and grit her teeth. "The way he'd drool over the latest import copy of 'Guns and Bullets'! Creepy! The way he'd oil and caress the .50 calibers! Sick! The... the way he'd..." her gaze softened, and her fist unclenched. "... The way he'd always slip a pack of AP rounds into my jacket pocket, 'just in case'... the way he'd always take the first shot. He'd volunteer to be the first one in, and the last one out. Even if the place was rigged to blow. ESPECIALLY if the place was rigged to blow."  
  
Asuka sniffled. "And Tiro... how he'd always gaze at me longingly from just out of arm's reach. That fearful, lusty gaze that said 'you're so beautiful, but I know that you'd snap me like a plastic ruler if I ever touched you.'"  
  
She leaned back heavily in her chair, her head down. "And Kyle. Such a friendly, good-natured, well-meaning idiot. There was just something so heartwarming and uplifting about his stupidity sometimes, like... like you knew that if things went wrong, he'd be the first one to screw up and get killed, and not you."  
  
She sighed deeply, a few tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "And Ranma... Ranma, who always came through for the team. Who'd always do something crazy and stupid and come out on top. Sometimes I just get so angry at that sweet, rugged hunk of man-meat that I just wanna rip off his shirt, tear off his pants and grab him by the-" she stopped suddenly, and spontaneously slapped herself in the face. "What the HELL did I just say?!" she asked no one, wobbling slightly as the red imprint stung her face. "Whoa! Cool down, girl! Easy..."  
  
*SCREEEECH!!* *Honk!* *Honk!*  
  
Asuka blinked as she watched a car come blazing down the road recklessly, snapping her out of her self-pitying reminiscence.  
  
"Christ, what's wrong with these people?" she muttered, actively trying to forget everything she had been talking to herself about.  
  
Getting up, the security guard walked toward the entrance of the garage and looked down the street where all the fast traffic seemed to be coming from.  
  
"What the hell?" Asuke whispered, squinting. A cloud of smoke was present in the distance, fully obscuring whatever was beyond it.  
  
As she watched, several missiles burst from the top of the smokescreen, flying in carefully calculated arcs and eventually plummeting to the streets below in a line, each missile a constant distance apart from the ones behind and in front of it.  
  
*Fsssssh!* Asuka jumped back as one such projectile streaked toward the section of road right in front of the garage she was employed at.  
  
The missile didn't produce an incendiary explosion, however, and instead, a thick cloud of smoke began to seep out of the chemical warhead, quickly spreading out in layers across the street.  
  
"What's going on here?" Asuka mumbled, once again looking out at the street. "Someone's launching smokescreen missiles?" As the missiles had just touched down and hadn't finished deploying their payload, the former captain was still afforded a clear view of the street, with only the bottom few feet obscured by the expanding clouds. She noted that the smokescreen beyond, which had developed far higher, was still expanding outwards slowly, and had reached the intersection at the corner of the garage.  
  
*SCREEEECH!!* A lone car, no doubt trying to get out of the path of whatever was coming, spun out slightly while trying to make a left turn at the intersection, its wheels sliding over the pavement as its momentum shifted. It almost came to a complete stop before its wheels once again took firm hold of the pavement, and prepared to move away from the wall of smoke that the back of the vehicle had brushed up against.  
  
*KRRNCH!!* The automobile was crushed flat in one clean motion as a huge metal foot burst from the smokescreen, and Asuka gaped as a massive cockpit nose pushed forth into view. The nose was attached to a bipedal chassis, with two huge shoulder-mounted cannons that framed the "head" of the massive machine like forward-pointed devil horns.  
  
Asuka gulped. The bipedal mech was nearly eight meters high, with oversized, reverse-joint legs that looked like they could withstand any kind of punishment a gun could offer. The cockpit stuck out of the torso like a bird's beak, and the smoke was still low enough that Asuka could make out the fuel lines that were attached to the underside of the cockpit, and leading toward the nose. Atop the machine she could make out two missile launchers attached to the shoulder cannons, no doubt for air defense, and a single soldier that stood on top, probably to snipe infantry.  
  
*Koom!* *Koom!* *Koom!* The ground shook slightly as the mech advanced with heavy footsteps, and Asuka quickly determined that a number of the noises were out of synch with the visible mecha's footfalls. Meaning that there were more coming behind it.  
  
Asuka quickly ducked back into the garage and headed toward the locker behind her booth. She didn't need to see the cobra entangled in barbed wire that was painted on the lower leg to guess who the war machines belonged to. They were the Freedom's Angels' mechs, which meant there was an assault in progress.  
  
'Which means I have work to do,' she thought, taking a tool box out of the locker.  
  
By now the smokescreen had had ample time to expand, and the dust cloud was already leaking into the parking garage as it completely hid the streets from the structure's only occupant. Not that it mattered. Asuka wasn't planning on taking one of those things on ground level.  
  
Dashing up the nearest stairwell, the former police captain grimaced as she heard the steady rumble of Earth-shaking footsteps. Apparently the terrorists were becoming a little more serious about their pointless assaults. The last terrorist machination she had seen were the junk mechs back when the FAs had stolen a cargo truck of Lipton tea, and though the guys had claimed to have seen a robot at the oil platform, that had only been one unit. To send a group of them out had to mean that the psychos were building up strength faster than anyone had guessed.  
  
Asuka exited the stairwell and rushed to the edge of the garage tower, which was closed off from the street by a three-foot concrete barrier.  
  
Placing the tool box atop the barrier, Asuka climbed on it herself and looked down at the street. The smokescreen was mostly spreading out along the streets, but the buildings had caused enough smoke to build up that only the very top of the mechs were visible to her. One the monstrous vehicles lumbered directly below, the soldier atop it searching the clouded streets for signs of attack.  
  
Asuka was about to jump, but then froze. 'Wait. Why am I doing this?' she thought, staring down at the multi-ton death machine as it slowly moved out from under her. 'I'm not a cop anymore. I don't get paid for this. I'm not expected to do this. I'm not equipped for it, prepared for it, or have any kind of backup to call.' She scowled and grit her teeth. 'Hell, I used to risk my life like this all the time, and they fired me! Laid me off without a word of thanks for all the lives I've saved! This is their problem! Why should I...'  
  
And then, suddenly, the image returned to her. A panicking driver in a '92 Honda, smashed flat in a split second. It could have been anyone in that car. A criminal. A cop. A civilian. A family...  
  
*Koom!* *Koom!* *Koom!*  
  
Asuka's gaze hardened as the last Prometheus mech lumbered by beneath her. "It doesn't matter if I have a badge or not! Nobody screws with my city and gets away with it!" Picking up the tool box, she leapt off the edge of the short wall.  
  
*Wham!* The Russian soldier had absolutely no warning before a fifteen-pound steel toolbox crashed into his skull. Given that Asuka was driving the object downward as she dropped roughly two meters herself (and given the way the man's skull caved in and cracked like an egg), it was safe to assume the man had died instantly from the blunt trauma.  
  
Asuka took a moment to steady herself on the top of the massive war machine, becoming used to the rise and fall of the primary body as the feet moved.  
  
"Well, it looks like you don't need this any more," Asuka grabbed the soldier's corpse before it had a chance to slide off, and quickly stripped it of everything of immediate use. This included the AK-47 and a sidearm, spare clips for both, and a walkie-talkie whose twin was undoubtedly in the hands of someone she wanted dead as well.  
  
"Come on, come on..." she began going through the man's backpack, and was rewarded with a few blocks of codex plastic explosives. "Jackpot." She removed the backpack from the soldier's corpse, and then saluted the dead man. "This is where you get off, soldier. Have a nice afterlife." Then she kicked him off the edge of the machine and into the clouds of smoke obscuring the streets below.  
  
"All right, let's find something I can break," wiping some of the blood off the toolbox with her jacket, Asuka slid down the side of the mech torso, landing in the crevice between the right shoulder cannon mount and the main chassis.  
  
Humming to herself, she took a socket wrench out of the toolbox, and began to unfasten the bolts that secured the hatch to the ammo port. After taking off several of the securing bolts, she exchanged the wrench for a crowbar, and then pried open the hatch, breaking several other bolts straight off.  
  
"Now THOSE are some big bullets," she murmured, seeing the huge shells that armed the cannon she was riding next to. Any one of them looked like they could knock out the Firestorm in a single shot.  
  
Without another word, she calmly took a single block of codex from the soldier's backpack, deftly set the timer, and then unceremoniously tossed the brick into the small opening afforded by the crowbar.  
  
Then she began humming again as she put the iron bar back in the tool box and slid down off the mech completely, landing heavily on the ground and calmly walking in the opposite direction as the hefty war machine.  
  
"And... three, two, one."  
  
*KA-KROOOOM!!!* The right side of the Prometheus exploded outward, ripping up that side of the chassis and blowing the leg apart. The crippled machine slowly teetered toward that side, and then fell over, flames still bursting out into the cloud of smoke and raining shrapnel.  
  
*CHAKOOOM!!* Then a fuel supply under the torso finally ignited in a less violent, but even more luminous explosion as hundreds of gallons of combustibles all flooded out into a blazing firestorm. Even within the smokescreen, Asuka had to shield her eyes from how bright it was, and could still see the rising tower of fire as the entire mech was consumed in flame.  
  
Asuka frowned. "The way that stuff burns... is that flamethrower fuel? Is THAT what all those fuel lines were for?" She shook her head and turned away. Then she took out the walkie-talkie and pushed the button on the side to turn it on.  
  
*Ahem* {"Hello, this is Freedom Angel report,"} she said in deliberately bad English while dropping her voice a few octaves, {"big machine under attack. One just go boom. Stop machine march now or all might die."} Smirking, she let go of the button on the side. Turning up the volume, she could hear a lot of shuffling, as well as several people speaking and shouting in fast-paced Russian.  
  
*{What is going on there?!}* A voice demanded back in English, *{What happened to the man who owns this radio?}*  
  
{"I tell you, he go boom with machine."} Asuka began to check her nails as she continued butchering her sentences with as heavy an accent as she could manage, {"I no know why machine go boom. We be attack? No can see. Stop machine march now, or walk into trap maybe?"}  
  
*{What are you doing there?! There are not supposed to be any Angels with the Prometheus units!}*  
  
'Prometheus, eh?' Asuka thought curiously. {"I group told guard you machine. No can do if no can see enemy. No can do if Prometheus keep moving. We get close, we go splat. Understand you?"}  
  
For a short time, the voice on the other end went silent. *{I want to speak to your superior officer.}*  
  
{"Yes."} Asuka waited a few seconds, the spoke again, this time in Japanese. "Yes, what is it? I don't speak English or Russian though, so I hope you have a translator."  
  
*{Hello? Do you speak English?}*  
  
"I don't speak English. I just said that. But then, none of you dolts can understand Japanese, can you?"  
  
*{Damn it! What the hell is going on over there?!}*  
  
She switched back to English. {"That why I talk to you. He no understand English or talk English."}  
  
*{Fine. We are going to re-route the column heading toward the Nimiaka technology expo down the main streets heading toward City Hall, and we are going to stop using the ashburn-12 rockets. You are far enough away from the diversionary force that the screen will not make much difference anyway. This should allow you to avoid ambush, and better defend the mechs.}*  
  
{"Yes,"} Asuka said, before letting go of the button and tossing the walkie-talkie into a nearby garbage can. "Sucker."  
  
Slipping the backpack onto one shoulder while taking up the semi-automatic rifle in the other, she prepared to move after her new targets.  
  
While debating whether or not to drag the toolbox along with her, she caught sight of someone walking down the street nearby. It was impossible to make out any features within the smokescreen, but the person was close enough that she could make out a large shadow through the dust.  
  
"Who...?"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Scrrrrch!* Kyle's car skidded to a halt in front of Ranma's new house, and the pigtailed man immediately jumped out.  
  
Then he opened the door to the back seat before racing toward his home, leaving Kyle to wonder just what his co-worker was planning now.  
  
Ranma quickly opened his front door, then stepped aside as he cupped his hands around his mouth.  
  
"Yo! Feeding time!"  
  
A sinister growl floated from the homestead's interior, and Hunter immediately leapt out the front doorway, skidding to stop just outside as his claws dug into the concrete walk.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped as he looked at the gouges that the pet zergling had dug into solid concrete. 'Hmm. I hope he isn't running in the house.' "All right boy, into the car. And try not to rip up the seats, okay?"  
  
Hunter snapped his jaws in the air viciously, giving Ranma no clue whether the warbeast understood or not. Nevertheless, Hunter then lumbered into the waiting vehicle, causing the automobile to shift on its side as the distribution of weight shifted greatly.  
  
Kyle bigsweated as he heard several parts of his car groan softly at the kind of mass they now had to support. "'Don't buy one of those gas-sucking SUVs,' Sakura says," Kyle muttered irritably, "'it's a waste,' she says, 'what are you going to need that kind of room and power for?' she says. Bah."  
  
Ranma stuffed Hunter's tail into the footspace of the back seat, and then slammed the door shut before getting in the passenger seat himself. "Okay, to the technology center!"  
  
Kyle blinked. "With Hunter? Are you sure? He might start eating people."  
  
Ranma frowned, then shrugged. "Uh... well, as long as he eats the right people, it's not a problem, right?"  
  
Kyle, being Kyle, accepted this simplistic logic quite easily. "You're right! Let's go!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Squads 6, 8, and 3 have reached the checkpoints and have been dug in.*  
  
*Charges have been set and anti-armor mines are in place.*  
  
*Sergeant, four units are requesting clearance to return to base to suit up and equip anti-armor weaponry.*  
  
*Then tell them to shut up and get into position! If they're afraid to face this scum without a metal shell to hide in, they're not worth protecting anyway!*  
  
* *Sigh* I'll relay that sentiment, sir.*  
  
Igov smirked as he held his hand to the communications unit over his ear, intercepting and listening to the Core radio signals as they prepared their ambush. Core encrypted its messages like any modern military force, but that encryption was easily broken by the superior technology built into Igov.  
  
He idly toyed with the idea of targeting Yujikata in the diversionary assault. It disgusted him greatly that a man would aid the enemy and still possess the gall to issue commands to the soldiers that trusted him. Regardless of whether the slime was aiding him in particular, the sergeant's actions easily made him worthy of being crushed underfoot.  
  
In the end, though, it wasn't his decision. He had chosen his masters in this land, and he would obey them for as long as their exploits held the promise of armed conflict.  
  
He took his hand off the radio transmitter over his ear, and the stream of communications ceased.  
  
Then, just as quickly, the unit activated again as a transmission was beamed directly to him.  
  
*{Sir, we have a problem. The Prometheus column is under attack. One unit has already been destroyed.}*  
  
Igov frowned deeply. {"Origin of assault?"}  
  
*{Unknown, sir,}* the captain said regretfully, *{The other units only report hearing the explosion, and of course we've lost contact with the lost unit itself. Afterward, a Freedom's Angel unit reported in that the unit had been destroyed.}*  
  
Igov raised an eyebrow. {"Did they also report what they were doing there? The transport convoy to pick up the targets at Nimiaka Tech Center has only just been deployed."}  
  
*{They only said that they had been ordered to protect the Prometheus mechs, sir. I think. There was a bit of a language barrier. Nevertheless, I redirected the column to take them out of the smokescreen and out of the way of any dug-in ambush. If the enemy can concentrate enough fire to kill a Prometheus, best that they at least have a clear view so that they can fight back.}*  
  
Igov scowled. This didn't seem right at all. {"No. Call the Prometheus units into the city. Have them spread out and each find their own way to the tech center. Anything with a gun is to be labeled a target of opportunity. Have the recon teams attached to the retrievement convoy move ahead and try to spot anything that fires upon them."} Already the general had a sinking feeling about this operation. At worst, the Japanese forces would have noticed the separate smokescreen moving in a different direction and diverted forces there while leaving the prison open to the diversionary forces. As it was, it didn't seem possible that they had arrayed their forces so fully to fight the tank squadron while still being able to muster enough firepower to stop the mechs (which they shouldn't even know about).  
  
{"Tell the FAs that we are approaching a minefield. Let them decide what to do about it."} With that, Igov deactivated his communications relay.  
  
The terrorists were just cannon fodder. Which made them an excellent diversion. Igov knew very well that the World War II-era IS-2s were simply metal coffins when faced with the advanced weaponry that Core was equipped with. Of course, that didn't mean he didn't have other surprises in store for the defenders.  
  
{"Driver, pull over. I will walk from here."}  
  
It was a perfect day for a war.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Sergeant! We have a report from the recon units!"  
  
Yujikata ignored the corporal as he continued watching over his arrayed troops listlessly. 'I wonder if I should be here... are those guys really going to pass me by if I'm in the line of fire? I should probably get behind the front line...'  
  
"We have reports of several war machines scattered through downtown Tokyo, Sergeant. It's unclear what their target is at this time, but a number of potential targets have already been assessed for vulnerability. What should we do?"  
  
That caught the sergeant's attention. 'So they got caught already, did they? Oh well.'  
  
He opened his mouth to dismiss the corporal, when a sharp, feminine voice came from behind him.  
  
"I don't believe Mr. Yujikata is of proper rank to be making those decisions."  
  
The traitorous soldier grit his teeth and slowly turned around to face Mia. "Ah... Colonel Tokima. There you are...."  
  
Mia nodded and turned toward the corporal. "You say there are enemy units moving through downtown Tokyo?"  
  
"Y-Yes ma'am!" The corporal shouted a bit nervously. "I was ordered to bring all field intel directly to Sergeant Yujikata, ma'am! That's why I didn't attempt to contact you first!"  
  
The colonel frowned. "Trying to run the whole thing yourself, Sergeant? You're barely able to keep your own squads in line. Don't try and bite off more than you can chew, alright?" then she addressed the corporal again. "I'm in command now. All field intel is to be brought to me, and I'll handle all long-range strategic planning. If you find someone sleeping, then bring that to the sergeant."  
  
Yujikata grit his teeth, but his gaze softened as he looked over his superior officer out of the corner of his eye. Mia was wearing a black jumpsuit with a heavy ammo belt, and while the legs hung down loose and baggy, the top of the outfit was snugly fitted to show the contour of her waist and bust. Chesty and full-figured, physically Mia looked exactly like Alexandra, but had a spicy girl-in-action attitude that contrasted greatly to Alex's frosty aura of control.  
  
Mia saw Yujikata staring at her stealthily, and shot him a warning glare that turned the man all the way around.  
  
She'd be the first to admit that she showed off her body more than was strictly professional, and in fact enjoyed some of the ogling by the male soldiers, to a point. Goda Yujikata, however, had always bothered her for some reason. She knew the man didn't belong in Core; Goda was the son of an influential senator that had pushed Remerick to do some 'rearrangements' in the hierarchy to let the man in above the ground floor. Unfortunately, Remerick didn't have much choice in the matter, as Core was as almost much a political organization as a military one.  
  
Mia sighed. With the senators and prime minister bickering over the use of Core's resources and dividing up the forces to protect their homes and personal interests, it was no wonder that Japan's most powerful military force hadn't had time to launch deeper investigations of the Freedom's Angels' suspected fortifications. As it was, Core was too often divided into tiny, easily ambushed units as they tried to protect everything at once.  
  
"Ma'am? What should we do?" The corporal asked, somewhat uneasy from the tension between his superior officers.  
  
Mia frowned deeply as she looked at the preparations about the ambush site. "Yujikata, why are only a fifth of your men in combat gear? And the rest armed with pistols?"  
  
"Several units were on patrol when the attack began," Yujikata murmured, "I brought 'em in right away for the shortest response time. This is just another FA stunt. They won't need armor."  
  
"'They won't need armor'?" Mia parroted, twitching. "We have reports of an armor battalion approaching, and an advancing smokescreen that could hide anything! Artillery, advanced armor, mutants! We have only a vague idea about what we're up against, and YOU decide that ten minutes' extra time to sit around on our haunches is worth putting these men and women's lives in even more danger?!"  
  
Yujikata swallowed nervously. He had been staring at Mia's breasts the whole time, so he didn't know what she had said, exactly, but she sounded mad. "Co-Colonel! I can explain!"  
  
"Shut up." Mia commanded, turning toward the corporal. "Corporal, order any heavy weapons units without protect-gear back to HQ. They are to gear up and move to intercept the... 'war machines' moving downtown, provided we don't receive any new intel on those units. Take half of the remaining unarmored soldiers and give them the same orders. The other unarmored units are to take cover in the buildings for better firing positions."  
  
"Colonel, we were ordered to avoid damage to civilian structures as much-" Yujikata began.  
  
Mia cut him off. "Sergeant, I'm not sure what they taught you in your prissy little private school, but around here 'shut up' means stop talking."  
  
The corporal couldn't help but smirk, though he made sure he was facing away from the sergeant. "Yes ma'am! I'll relay your orders immediately!"  
  
Mia nodded, then turned toward the seething Yujikata. "As for YOU, get your sorry ass out to the front. After the charges go off, our guys are going to need to know which targets to shoot."  
  
Yujikata frowned. "I, uh, was actually going to direct one of the rifleman squads down the flank after the anti-armor unit-."  
  
Mia rolled her eyes and cut him off. "Fine, whatever. You can go home, for all I care. Your absence will probably bring up morale, anyway." Not bothering to watch whatever look the sergeant shot at her, she turned toward the main forces.  
  
"Snipers, into position! Demo teams, on your marks! Let's move, move, move!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"You ever get the feeling," Snake said suddenly, startling Tycho out of his half-asleep state, "that something big was going on that you should be a part of, but you're not?"  
  
Tycho stared at his co-worker. "Uh...... well, yes, actually. Just once. When I watched an American monster truck derby on TV."  
  
Snake frowned. "No, that's not what I mean. Something... greater than that. Something in which lives hang in the balance, and I'm the one who should be tipping the scales."  
  
"Despite that colorful and evocative metaphor, for the most part you've lost me," Tycho mumbled.  
  
"There's a battle starting," Snake said irritably, drumming his fingers on the cash register, "and I'm here selling food items instead of killing. It makes me... uneasy." Then he noticed a man standing at the counter with a beer in hand. "Oh, I'm sorry, can I help you?"  
  
The man trembled as he slowly backed away, puttin the beer back in the storage cooler. "Uh... no, that's okay. I think I'll just stop by the supermarket..." as quickly as he could, the customer turned around and ran out the door.  
  
*Sigh* "Ya know, between my flipping off half the customers and you scaring off the other half, this place is going to have a really bad year."  
  
"Whatever," Snake muttered, "go check on the robber and see if he stopped bleeding yet."  
  
Nodding once, Tycho exited the counter and headed for the storage room where the bound and gagged criminal had been placed.  
  
Unlocking the storage room door, Tycho immediately spotted the tied-up miscreant sitting on top of a small reddish brown stain.  
  
"Yo, you still alive?"  
  
The man did not respond or even move.  
  
"Well, damn. Now I gotta check for a pulse. Ugh..." Tycho stumbled wearily through the room, and reached out for the criminal's neck.  
  
He froze when he noticed that there was a hole in the man that he hadn't noticed before. Specifically there was a hole on the top of his head, though in the dim lighting Tycho could only make it out because of the patch of hair missing.  
  
"That's weird... Snake didn't shoot him in the head..."  
  
"Hsss!"  
  
Tycho blinked in surprise as a head forced its way out of the hole. An eyeless mouth full of sharp, crooked teeth grinned at him, attached to a thin, worm-like body.  
  
"Oy. Creepy." Turning around, Tycho calmly walked out of the storage room. Then he secured the door and rejoined Snake behind the counter.  
  
"So, he okay?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh...... Bummer."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*KA-KROOOM!!*  
  
"Look out!"  
  
"Son of a-!"  
  
The terrorists nearest to the afflicted tank dove away as the anti-armor mine ripped the outdated tank to shreds, killing its pilots and spraying bits of shrapnel about the column.  
  
The other tanks behind slowed down in a panic, and the advancing group as a whole began to get even more nervous.  
  
They were aware that government forces were sent to intercept them, and that the mines had been placed in preparation for an ambush, but as the dust rockets had continued to generate an expanding smokescreen before them, seeing the mines before somebody stepped on them became very difficult. Several terrorists had taken to prodding the ground ahead of them with their rifles as far as the guns could reach, as if half a meter distance was going to save them from a detonation designed to wipe out war machines.  
  
"Just keep your cool! We can always take cover in the buildings once we reach the enemy! Keep moving forward!"  
  
With uneasy murmurs, the terrorist forces continued marching down the street, doing their best to watch where they were stepping.  
  
One such man was slightly more afraid of being shot than blown up, and thus didn't see the metal object at his feet until he had tripped over it.  
  
*Thud!* "Ow!" After cursing for a moment, he then realized that his foot had hit something metal in an area where metal objects tended to explode violently.  
  
"Oh! Oh God!! SHIT!!" Scrambling away on his belly, he got clear of the object and stopped to stare at it.  
  
"What?! What's going on over there?!" one of his superiors yelled angrily. Even if the enemy knew they were headed here, they still didn't want to give away their position!  
  
"Th-That's not a mine..." the terrorist mumbled, as if in a daze, "that's... that's a bomb."  
  
The commander frowned and cautiously approached, trying his best to make out the offending object through the smoke.  
  
What he found made his face whiten slightly. "Damn it... I know these bombs. These are fragmentation charges. Must be remote, too, since it didn't blow up when that fool stepped on it." Then he turned toward the center of the column. "HALT!! All units, hold position and wait for target acquisition!" then, in a quieter voice, he explained his reasoning to those close enough to hear. "The smokescreen's clearing, anyway. Might as well get a clear shot and fight these dogs to their faces than just let them cook us as we advance."  
  
Indeed, the smoke was beginning to clear, and many of the terrorists swallowed uneasily as they watched the bomb in the corner slowly become more apparent.  
  
"What the-hey! There's another one over here!"  
  
"Eh?" The terrorists turned toward the other side of the street, where a second charge was hidden under a bench.  
  
"Geez! Another one!" a different man backed away fearfully as he spotted the rectangular explosive mounted next to a rubbish bin.  
  
"Gyah! There's one over here!"  
  
"Holy-the tank's almost on top of this one!"  
  
"They're everywhere!"  
  
The commander twitched, and then groaned heavily. "I knew I should have called in sick today..."  
  
*Beep-beep-beep!* At once, several small LED lights turned from a blinking yellow to a solid red.  
  
"Well, shit."  
  
*KA-BLAM!!!* *BOOOM!!* *KROOM!!* *KABOOM!!!*  
  
Panicked shouting and chaos barely penetrated the Earth-shattering chain of explosions, and everybody within the dissipating smokescreen hit the ground, either to cover themselves or because they were already dead.  
  
One such terrorist grimaced as a thin shard of shrapnel pierced his thigh, and began crawling forward, not having the presence of mind to remember that he was heading toward the enemy that had them pinned down.  
  
As it was, he mostly got clear of the vision-obscuring smoke, and froze when he saw what laid ahead.  
  
A dozen armored Core troopers, all lined up in a row, marched forward in perfect synchronization, a heavy rocket launcher on each one's shoulder.  
  
Just behind them, a squad leader raised his arm, and began shouting commands, the transceiver in his helmet making his voice coarse and monotoned.  
  
"Salvo one! Aim! Fire!"  
  
Down the row of troopers, one right after another, the soldiers raised their weapons and released a shot, and the terrorist clenched his eyes shut as a wave of armor-piercing warheads sailed into the smoke behind him.  
  
*Bwoom!!* *BOOM!!* *Ka-BLAM!!*  
  
The sound of a tank's fuel and ammo supplies detonating were followed by another chain of explosions only slightly quieter than the bombs had been, and the terrorist hugging the ground trembled in fear as waves of heat washed over him from behind.  
  
"Salvo two! Aim! Fire!"  
  
In a well-practiced motion, each soldier dipped the head of the launcher down and hit a lever on the side, loading the next munition stored in the three-shot rocket clip.  
  
*Fwoosh* *Fwoosh* *Fwoosh* Once again, the rockets sailed overhead in a closely-knit wave, and once again a few thunderous explosions were heard from within the smoke, followed by a chain of them as they hit the more tightly concentrated units farther back.  
  
"Well, this 'aint going well at all..." the man on the ground mumbled, trying his best to crawl away from the fighting.  
  
"Salvo three! Aim! Fire!"  
  
By this time there was actually some light small-arms fire coming from the interior of the dust cloud, though the only bullets that hit any of the exposed rocket soldiers were random lucky shots, and those bounced harmlessly off the thick armor of the protect-gear.  
  
*Ka-kroom!* A tank shell flew from the obscuring dust and detonated harmlessly two meters in front of the line of Core troopers. The soldiers continued loading their weapons, unfazed, and then released the last salvo into the smokescreen.  
  
As more explosions rang out among the chaos of the terrorist ranks, a radio communication burst into the rocket soldiers' helmets.  
  
*Anti-armor units, fall back and reload! Rifleman, advance under cover! Sniper teams, fire at will! Cut into the sides of the line and use the buildings to your advantage! Move out!*  
  
Among the rampant destruction within the smokescreen, the surviving FA commanders desperately tried to rally their troops, who were mostly fleeing in terror as flames swept over the streets.  
  
The bombs had broken the line, and the rockets had shattered it. Despite only a dozen soldiers having directly taken the field against the FA assault so far, the terrorists had lost all confidence in their victory, and even the unscathed warriors in the rear were mostly waiting for the order to retreat.  
  
One group, having more or less collected itself, rushed into a nearby apartment building, planning to fire upon the Core forces from the windows.  
  
Breaking down the door to the nearest room that faced the street, the terrorists were quite surprised to see a table laying on its side, and even more surprised when soldiers armed with handguns popped up from behind it and opened fire.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
*Thud* Mizu smirked as the last body hit the floor, gasping from a chest wound. As the terrorists weren't exceptionally trained, not a one had entered the room ready to shoot, and had all been dispatched before they could even aim their weapons.  
  
Two other Core soldiers immediately moved toward the door, one covering the entryway while the other holstered his gun and picked up the AK-47s that the FAs had been armed with.  
  
"This should give us a little more firepower."  
  
Mizu nodded. "Kona, you take the window and see what you can hit. Yamaka, you cover the hallway. I'm going to drop down into the alley through the fire escape and see what I can nail."  
  
Her compatriots nodded, and each assumed their proper positions.  
  
Mizu herself moved past Kona and slowly climbed out the bedroom window, falling onto the fire escape ladder and hugging the semi-automatic rifle parallel to her body.  
  
*Rattattattatta!*  
  
*BOOM!!*  
  
The sounds of combat flooded easily into the narrow alleyway, but Mizu couldn't see anything that she could shoot easily or that could shoot her, so she continued climbing down the fire escape.  
  
*Foooooosh!*  
  
She paused as a soft, constant roar became apparent, barely audible over the chaos happening just several meters away.  
  
'What the...? Is that a rocket? No... it's not passing by quickly enough.' She looked up, and squinted as sunlight flashed off of something shiny directly above her.  
  
"............ Oh, HELL no!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"We're here!" Ranma shouted, watching as several signs with barely coherent, largely irrelevant, and mostly misspelled exclamations on them became visible.  
  
Kyle frowned as he parked his car on the edge of the protesters' blockade. "Why are they burning an American flag? The US has nothing to do with this."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Force of habit, I guess. I think they've forgotten how to do anything else even remotely meaningful."  
  
Kyle nodded and stepped out, and Ranma did the same, leaving Hunter secured in the back seat.  
  
The two former officers, dressed as they were in Core military jackets, immediately caught the crowd's attention. Arrayed as they were in a human wall in front of the NTC's parking lot, the throngs almost closed in around Ranma and Kyle threateningly, as they were the only non-protesters outside the center.  
  
"Look! It's the government's loyal dogs!"  
  
"Go back where you came from, you murderous drones!"  
  
"We don't need your kind mucking up the world with violence and killing!"  
  
Ranma sighed. "Oh boy... if Snake was here he'd flip..."  
  
Kyle cleared his throat. "Listen to me! We have strong suspicions that a strong terrorist threat is headed in this direction! You're all in danger! Evacuate this area immediately!"  
  
The warning, predictably, didn't quite get the message across.  
  
"Yeah, right! Pack up your killing machines and hit the road, pig!"  
  
"'Terrorists'? Ha! You mean 'freedom fighters'!"  
  
"We won't let you continue to harbor these murderers!"  
  
"Elitist swine!"  
  
"Zionist conspirators!"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped as he looked around at the crowd surrounding him, wondering what to do. They were in his way, but somehow, it seemed wrong to beat up a bunch of peace protesters, even if they were incoherent morons. And he couldn't ask Kyle to do it, since he wasn't strong enough.  
  
"Graaaaaaugh..."  
  
The angry crowd fell silent as a fierce, throaty growl echoed from the confines of Kyle's car.  
  
"Hey..." one of the sign-bearing fools squinted as he stared through the car window, unable to make out what the armor plate pressed against the door was. "What is that in there?"  
  
Ranma frowned. Then he shrugged and raised two fingers to his mouth before whistling sharply.  
  
*Crash!* The door flew off its hinges and skidded across the parking lot, and Hunter jumped out of the vehicle, snapping his jaws left and right and raising his claws for the attack.  
  
"SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS!!!"  
  
"What the hell is that?!"  
  
"Something's wrong here... I'm seeing hideous monsters, but I'm not high!"  
  
The crowd began to flee chaotically from the pet zergling, rushing behind trees and hiding between bushes.  
  
"So this is what the government overlords have been doing!"  
  
"Hideous biological mutations! It's a government conspiracy!"  
  
"Weirdos," Ranma mumbled as he beckoned Hunter to him with his index finger.  
  
"It's odd," Kyle thought aloud, "I can understand what they're saying, but they're still not making any sense."  
  
"That's what marijuana does to people. Terrible thing." Ranma nodded somberly as Hunter approached.  
  
The zergling's head swayed back and forth at the surrounding protesters, and menacing clicking sounds came from the back of his throat. Finally he reached Ranma, who patted him on the head as the killer alien glared at the foolish fodder that surrounded his masters.  
  
"Easy there, big guy," Ranma said soothingly, patting down the armored head crest. Then he turned and addressed the crowd. "What Kyle said is still in effect! If you stay here, it will be at your own risk! You've been warned!"  
  
The protesters failed to muster the courage to continue goading the soldiers, and continued staring fearfully at Hunter.  
  
Kyle scratched his head and began to follow Ranma into the technology center. "I don't think they're gonna leave."  
  
Ranma shook his head sadly. "There's just nothing you can do for some people. Oh well." Not overly concerned about the potential loss of life, Ranma led Hunter and Kyle toward the center.  
  
The Nimiaka Technology Center had opened its main display room for the expo, and a short tower of glass panes greeted the soldiers and their warbeast as they approached the building.  
  
Kyle saw a sign on the door, and groaned as he read it. "Aw, man! It says 'by invitation only'!"  
  
"I think that's just to have an excuse to keep the hippies out," Ranma reasoned. Then he opened the door and held it open for Hunter to go through. "Hey, hey! Keep the claws in! Try not to scratch the glass. Good boy!" After Kyle had followed the zergling, Ranma let go of the door, and then turned to take a closer look at the expo.  
  
Surprisingly, few people paid them any heed, and those that did were mostly nodding appreciatively at Hunter, like they would at a nice statue on display.  
  
Most of the people there were dressed in lab coats or in formal wear, and largely the sparse crowd appeared to be made up of scientists and businessmen that were reviewing the technology displayed.  
  
There were several fascinating things on display; Kyle was instantly mesmerized by a super-shiny sphere that had a laser beam bending around it. Ranma caught sight of a metal robot that looked like a human skeleton, and stared as the machination manipulated a pair of chopsticks (he wasn't very impressed - Ranma had no idea how hard the subtleties of limb manipulation were - but the robot was seriously cool-looking).  
  
Both men snapped to attention as a busty woman in a half-open lab coat approached, chewing on a pen in a suggestive manner.  
  
"Ah, I see we have another exhibit. Big one, isn't he?" she smiled and looked at her clipboard.  
  
"Huh?" Kyle mumbled cluelessly.  
  
"That's odd... it doesn't look like we're supposed to have any genetically engineered monsters on exhibit. It is a bit much for one of these government-funded expos, come to think of it." She tapped the end of her pen against her nose. "Are you a last-minute addition?"  
  
"Um, no. Last-minute rescue, actually," Ranma said, having only the slightest idea what he was talking about.  
  
"Ah, okay!" The woman smiled brightly, "excellent! No paperwork, then!" She turned around and cupped a hand next to her mouth. "Oh doctor! We have a matter that requires your attention!"  
  
Ranma and Kyle awkwardly stood still as a tall, gangly old man with a ring of gray hair around the back of his skull walked up to the woman with the clipboard. He was obviously a scientist, and was wearing a sharp and well-cleaned white lab coat with black shoulder pads, black boots, and black rubber gloves, along with round wire-frame glasses.  
  
"Yes Maria, what is it?"  
  
The woman smiled and pointed to the two soldiers. "Dr. Deth, these men require your attention."  
  
Ranma sweatdropped heavily. "'Dr. Deth'? What?"  
  
"Ah," the old scientist murmured, grinning, "I see you've heard of me!"  
  
"Uh... no, not really," Ranma admitted, "though with a name like that, I probably should have."  
  
"Ohhhhh..." Kyle mumbled, smiling suddenly. "I get it! Dr. Deth!" Ranma, Maria, and the aforementioned doctor turned to look at him. "You're a foreigner, aren't you?"  
  
*Thud!* Ranma fell to the floor face-first.  
  
"So, what do we have here? An unannounced exhibit?" The doctor kneeled down to look Hunter in the eyes. Hunter snorted and stared back, his red eyes glaring an angry crimson that shined on the window of the scientist's glasses. "Ah, yes. A fine specimen indeed. Though I'm not sure if it's appropriate for this exposition. While conventional weapons technologies are on display, the government tries to keep more controversial technologies, such as mutants, cloning, alien spacecraft, satanic hell-borne devices, and doomsday devices, restricted to our secret mountain laboratories or dark, rustic castles."  
  
Ranma picked himself up off the floor. "Actually, we're not here for-" then he stopped. "Wait. Doomsday devices?"  
  
Dr. Deth nodded. "But of course. Such things aren't to be shown around here, of course, but if you think the 'love & peace' simpletons outside are making a racket now, you should stop by the annual mad scientists' tech convention!" He grinned. "Of course, they usually don't stick around long after it starts. We don't suffer fools as well as the government."  
  
"Riiiiiiiight..." Ranma mumbled. "Anyway... we have reason to believe that a terrorist assault force is en route to attack this expo and steal all the technology."  
  
Dr. Death blinked, and cocked his head to the side. "Really now? What makes you think that?"  
  
*BWA-KOOOOOOOOM!!!!* Light poured into the building from an explosion outside, and a fraction of a second later a huge shock wave blasted into the Nimiaka Technology Center, instantly shattering the glass exterior of the display room and blowing it inside onto the marble floor. Plaster rained down from the ceiling, and the Earth itself trembled at the force of the Prometheus' neocannon.  
  
Everyone inside the tech center, with the exception of Hunter and the small group standing around him, began to shout chaotically and run for the rear exits.  
  
Ranma grimaced, and stuck a finger in his ear to try and relieve the ringing noise. "Yeah, so, anyway, we're gonna have to go fight off the terrorists now, so maybe you guys should evacuate."  
  
The doctor nodded seriously. "Yes, that may be a wise thing to do." He squinted and leaned his head forward slightly, looking over Ranma's shoulder. "Though, if I may ask, how are you planning on fighting THAT?"  
  
Ranma sighed wearily and slowly turned around to look outside, knowing that he wouldn't like what he was about to see.  
  
He was right. The huge Prometheus mech stomped slowly toward its target, its massive cannons swiveling left and right along with its cockpit as the pilot searched for any opposition.  
  
Ranma grit his teeth. The mech had fired a shot right into the midst of the protesters, and those that could still move were desperately running away from the blackened crater of death that the neocannon had forged in front of the complex.  
  
'It doesn't matter if they were morons! Those morons were no threat to anybody!' Ranma began to stalk toward the frame where the glass doors used to be, but a black rubber glove landed on his shoulder.  
  
"Wait! You're going to fight that thing?"  
  
Ranma stared back at the strange doctor, then nodded sharply. "I'm the only one that can."  
  
Hunter growled.  
  
Ranma frowned at the zergling, then shook his head. "Sorry boy. This one's mine."  
  
Dr. Deth raised an eyebrow. "Well, you seem to think you know what you're doing. Very well. Here." Reaching into his lab coat, he pulled out three small, heavy cylinders. Each one had [DANGER!] written across the body in a bright red, and each one had a button at the top that looked far too easy to press by accident.  
  
"Eh? What're those?" Kyle asked, already feeling the urge to press the button to see what happens rising.  
  
"They're just a few prototype grenades that I was going to put on exhibit, but which the supervisors decided were 'a bit much' for the expo. These grenades have a four-second fuse, at which point they collapse into a neutrino singularity, causing solid matter to fold in on itself while redistributing the allocation of mass in random fluctuations within its three-meter detonation radius."  
  
"......................." A popping noise came from the general vicinity of Kyle's head, and a thin stream of smoke began to leak out of his ears.  
  
Ranma stared at the mad scientist in front of him, then sweatdropped and pushed the offered weapons back. "Uh... that's okay. I've got it covered."  
  
Maria blinked, hugging her clipboard to her chest. "But you don't have anything but a pistol! How are you going to destroy something that big?"  
  
"I'm gonna run up under it and poke it in the leg!" Ranma said confidently. Though he hadn't tried using the bakusai tenketsu since he had hurt himself using it on the Firestorm, he was sure he could pull it off again if he needed to.  
  
The doctor and his assistant stared at Ranma like he was an idiot.  
  
"What?! It works! Really!" Ranma insisted.  
  
"And people say I'm crazy," Dr. Deth mumbled under his breath. Then he gently pushed the explosives into Ranma's hands. "Here. Just take the grenades. In case you... um... can't get close enough to 'poke' them."  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes and took the weapons. Even if he knew the power of the breaking point, he realized just how stupid it sounded trying to explain to other people.  
  
"Come on, Kyle," Ranma muttered, smacking his companion upside the head.  
  
"The answer is twelve!" Kyle shouted spontaneously, breaking out of his daze.  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Ranma said, "hold Hunter here until I finish up with this thing, all right? I'm gonna take it down myself."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Within the cockpit of the Prometheus battle mech, the pilot continued scanning left and right, swiveling the upper torso of the massive war machine as he searched for any targets. Not that he expected any, and certainly none that would be a threat to him.  
  
Which was actually why he was looking so carefully for targets, and why he had fired into the crowd of misguided fools below (well, actually, it was also because they had begun yelling at him. No doubt they had mistaken the mech for another technological innovation for display at the exposition). He was bored.  
  
Aside from a spike of fear when he realized that one of the other mech units had been killed, the 'assault' looked to be nothing more than showing up and scaring off everybody so that the retrievement convoy won't have to waste time shooting people. There had been absolutely nothing that sought to challenge the might of the armored behemoth he was sitting in, and he hadn't even come across any targets of opportunity on the way. And he wasn't allowed to fire upon the tech center, since he was supposed to avoid damaging the valuable technology within. What good was an unnecessarily large explosive cannon if there was nothing to use it on? Even the incoherent whiners parading around the tech center had fled.  
  
Being that the pilot was seated underneath a canopy of three-inch thick armor glass, he had no chance of hearing the gunshot that originated from the tech center entrance.  
  
As it was, he didn't realize that anything had happened at all until the wounded body of the soldier stationed atop his unit fell onto the canopy in agony, leaving streaks of blood as it slowly slid off onto the ground.  
  
The pilot scowled and jerked the torso back around, spotting a single man aiming a gun just outside the building.  
  
Not much of a target, but at least killing this one wouldn't feel as hollow as firing upon an unarmed crowd.  
  
'I just need to check the range...' Using the neocannon was out of the question; he was too close to the center, and the last shot had revealed that the structure might be less sturdy than he might have guessed. He would never live it down if he destroyed the objective trying to kill a single man with an eighty-ton death machine.  
  
Down on the ground, Ranma began to stalk forward, holstering his pistol. He left the grenades in his pocket; whether or not he needed to, it was probably best that he give the bakusai tenketsu another try, just to make sure he had it down. A technique that could blow up a piece of armor with a touch could come in handy against giant robots and vehicles.  
  
As he approached, he noticed that there were several metal tubes underneath the nose of the mech that fed into the sides of the cockpit nose. Further down, near the front of the nose, there were several small pits that faced the direction that the nose was pointed in.  
  
Ranma was largely ignorant of technology and machinery, but to be fair, many who were not would have guessed that the system was meant to feed air into the engine for cooling, even if the pits didn't seem big enough to catch much air.  
  
Of course, they would have revised their guesses once they saw small flames pop up in front of the pits. Ranma didn't really notice until it was too late.  
  
*FWOOOOOOM!* The pigtailed soldier jerked to a halt as huge jets of fire burst from the pits in the nose. He twitched as the flames coalesced into a gigantic fireball, and he turned around to run away as the firestorm blasted forward.  
  
"GYAAAAA!!" Though he made it to the edge of the flamethrower's effective range, Ranma had been too slow in reacting to get out of the way entirely, and he dropped to the ground and began rolling back and forth to put out the flames that had bloomed over his back.  
  
After a few seconds, the fire was out, and Ranma groaned as he got to his feet and began dusting himself off.  
  
"Go Ranma! You can do it!" Kyle shouted from within the building.  
  
'What is he, my cheerleader?' Ranma thought, sweatdropping.  
  
Across the charred landscape that used to be a pristine and well-decorated park in front of the tech center, the Prometheus took a step back, its flamethrowers releasing small puffs of flame tauntingly. Apparently the pilot had taken his comrade who had fallen off the top of the mech for dead, or otherwise didn't care, because a blazing corpse also decorated the field, burning as if a warning of things to come to all enemies of the Russian war machine.  
  
Ranma frowned and then strafed to the right, planning to rush in one he wasn't facing the mech's front any more.  
  
The head swiveled toward him faster than he would have guessed it was capable of, and the flamethrower activated once again, bathing the ground in fire and preventing Ranma from getting any closer to the deadly machine.  
  
Ranma reversed direction and then ran to the left, only to nearly get roasted again as the Prometheus swiveled its head back to meet him.  
  
Ranma growled and jumped away.  
  
"......... Aw, the hell with it!" Ranma fished one of the grenades out of his pocket, pushed the button, and then chucked the high-tech device at an angle that he was sure would keep it out of the flamethrower's way.  
  
The pilot of the Prometheus couldn't hear Ranma expression of frustration, but he could see the grenade as it twirled through the air, aimed to land past his cockpit at the mech's chassis. He wasn't terribly worried, as he didn't know a single type of grenade that could possibly damage the Prometheus' armor.  
  
*Clank!*  
  
With the source of the noise so close, the pilot could barely make out the sound of the grenade bouncing off of the top of the mech.  
  
Oddly enough, the sound of the device exploding was crystal-clear to him.  
  
*BOINK!*  
  
*GWOOOOSH*  
  
Ranma stared as a vortex of purple, green, and black opened up around the grenade in the described radius, fluctuating in a myriad of colorful swirls as it warped the body of the machine nearby.  
  
The Prometheus' cockpit and lower torso, which were out of the effective radius of the weapon, shuddered as the upper torso and cannon mounts were consumed, and their atomic structures randomly rearranged by several theoretical quantum forces that the author doesn't know anything about anyway.  
  
Ranma's left eye twitched as Kyle and Hunter approached him from behind, with Dr. Deth and his assistant in tow.  
  
".................. 'Boink'? What the HELL was that?" Ranma finally asked, watching as the vortex finally collapsed in on itself.  
  
*Thud!* *Thud!* The longer part of the two neocannons, which were out of range of the singularity charge, fell heavily to the ground, followed by the entire cockpit. Little shards of super-dense metal, carbon, and numerous other elements that had been present within the effect radius rained down over the warped remains of the massive death machine, testament to the awesome power of science (even really weird science).  
  
Dr. Deth sweatdropped. "Yes, 'boink'. I know it's... well, it's not exactly a very intimidating noise, but you can't fault the weapon for efficiency."  
  
Kyle scratched his head. "Scientific progress goes 'boink'. Sounds like the title of a comic book."  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Ranma mumbled irritably, stalking up to the cockpit of the mech.  
  
Jumping up onto the cockpit nose, he grabbed hold of the edge of the canopy frame and then knelt down for maximum leverage.  
  
*Krrrrrrnk!* The mechanisms that kept the canopy shut were overcome, and the hinges to the canopy screeched in protest as they were forced open.  
  
Ranma took one look at the utterly dazed Russian man in the pilot's seat, and turned away. "Yo, Hunter! He's yours!"  
  
Kyle sweatdropped as the man-eating alien darted toward the machine, and then he turned toward the man and woman behind him. "Eh heh... Ranma's still... a little uncomfortable with killing people directly."  
  
"I see. So he gets other people to do it for him," the doctor observed. Next to him, Maria chuckled nervously as she watched Hunter rip into the mech pilot with gruesome ferocity.  
  
"Yeah, pretty much!" Kyle forced a laugh and put his hand on the back of his head.  
  
"Yes I do, so let's get a move on!" Ranma yelled back at Kyle, " 'cause if Hunter fills up, then you're gonna have to do it Kyle!"  
  
The blonde sighed and turned toward the scientist and assistant. "Yeah, well, thanks for your help. Those... uh... things you gave us should come in handy."  
  
Dr. Deth grinned. "No, no, not at all! It is my duty to help our protectors in any way I can! And besides, someday you might have to foil my attempt to take over the world, so don't be too generous with your gratitude!"  
  
Kyle laughed. "Ha ha ha! Yeah, you're right!" Then he stopped laughing. "Wait, what?"  
  
"Never mind! You have work to do!"  
  
The blonde nodded somewhat hesitantly, and began to walk towards Ranma, who was waiting impatiently for Hunter to lick the last scraps of human flesh from the cockpit interior.  
  
Suddenly, Kyle froze, and zipped back around. "Wait! I get it! Dr. 'Deth'! Like 'death'!" He paused. "I'll bet your practice doesn't do very well, huh?"  
  
*Crash!* Ranma, Maria, and the doctor all facefaulted.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*KROOM!!* Another IS-2 exploded as the armor-piercing rocket found its mark, driving straight through the thicker frontal armor and detonating in the interior. Armor plates were thrown among the scattered terrorist lines, which were promptly cut once again as numerous stitches of machine gun fire peppered the Angels' ranks.  
  
"Move into the buildings! Hold them here! You there! Get the heavier munitions and-" the terrorist commander was silenced as a sniper bullet penetrated his skull, and the terrified and disenheartened criminals began to fall back, crawling to safety among the backs of their fallen companions.  
  
Behind the front lines, Mia frowned restlessly.  
  
She would have preferred to be farther forward, moving from building to building along with the soldiers, or perhaps moving in with the second group to cut off their escape. Unfortunately, to leave for the front would be to leave Yujikata in command of tactics and strategic planning, and that wasn't a mistake she was willing to suffer for.  
  
"Colonel Tokima! We have incoming intel!" One of her lieutenants rushed up to her holding a piece of paper, and looking rather shaken. "We have confirmation on the nature of the rogue war machines to the south!"  
  
Mia blinked, and took the paper. She frowned as she began reading the description, and then her eyes widened as she finished.  
  
"My God... units with that kind of firepower could..." she trailed off, her mind racing. "The dispatched anti-armor units! They were ordered to engage these things!"  
  
She ran for the communications van, stopping at the entrance.  
  
"Get me a line to the dispatched anti-armor units that were sent back to HQ right away!" The tech at the controls didn't bother to ask any questions, and immediately set to work.  
  
Mia turned away, massaging her forehead. 'Damn it! If the intel is accurate, my guys don't stand a chance against those things! We're going to need air power to bring them down!'  
  
Her brooding was interrupted as the tech shouted back at her.  
  
"Colonel! We have an emergency communication from one of the soldiers near the front! ...... Something about... robots in the sky?"  
  
Mia didn't think, she didn't speak, she didn't even blink. She looked up.  
  
Six shiny blue boomers looked down on the rear of the Core lines as they stood atop the surrounding apartment buildings, large black cannons lowering themselves over their bulbous shoulder mounts.  
  
"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!!"  
  
*Ba-boom!* *Ba-boom!* *Ba-boom!* *Ba-boom!* *Ba-boom!* *Ba-boom!*  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"This is unit 13-A, en route to intercept enemy armor unit. Do we have any more intel on the terrorist units?"  
  
The soldier pulled the radio mouthpiece away from the transmitter in his mask, and there was a short burst of static on the radio.  
  
*Pssssht...* *Units 13, 14, 17, and 20! Pull back! Withdraw immediately! The enemy units are-! Wait, what? What's tha-* *PSSSSSSHT!* Heavy static followed the interrupted transmission, and the soldier at the radio frowned as he tried to reach the communications van again, to no avail.  
  
"Damn it. All right, you heard the man. We're going back to the ambush point. It looks like they're having trouble."  
  
The driver nodded and accelerated, heading toward the next intersection.  
  
The six soldiers that made up the heavy weapons squad were seated in a Core APC, which was specially suited for urban travel and combat, much like the Rhino (the big 'ole DAPC machine that Tycho never did put back together). It wasn't small or agile enough to make a U-turn on the same side of the road, not with the street lights and such, and thus the armored transport dove out into the road intersection to make the necessary change in direction, followed by the other APC in its unit.  
  
The soldier at the wheel, taught like all halfway decent drivers to look in both directions before making a turn, easily caught sight of the armored behemoth stomping toward that very location, and his eyes grew wide underneath the protect-gear's expressionless goggles and mask.  
  
"What the HELL is that?!"  
  
Neither he nor his companions were ever offered an answer to that question, as the Prometheus pilot caught sight of the target of opportunity and swung the mech's massive neocannons down to firing position.  
  
*BWA-KOOOOOOOOM!!!!*  
  
Asuka grit her teeth as she watched the APCs get blown into the ground, along with the entire length of road they had happened to be on. The monstrous war machine ahead of her watched the intersection for more targets, pausing in its advance.  
  
She gripped the strap of the backpack she was wearing, her mind racing. She had destroyed that last Prometheus, but that was because she had been able to jump onto the top. From street level, there seemed to be no way to get onto the machine short of climbing up the leg, and to make that attempt would have been idiotic at best. Meaning that if Ranma were here, he'd probably do it.  
  
'Well, it's stopped now, so maybe I can get ahead of it...' Asuka thought, scanning the buildings on both sides of the street. She quickly abandoned the plan, though; there was no way that she would have enough time to get past the mech, climb to a high enough floor, and then jump down before the Prometheus started moving on again.  
  
'Damn...' resigned to tailing the machine, Asuka ducked into an alleyway, sticking her head out to check on her target. 'I wonder where that guy in the trench coat went, though. I never did manage to follow him in the smoke.'  
  
*C-click* Asuka grimaced as she felt the barrel of a pistol poke into her shoulder.  
  
"Drop the gun and turn around."  
  
Asuka frowned, and did so slowly, dropping her confiscated automatic rifle on the ground.  
  
She was only slightly surprised when she saw a Russian-looking guy pointing a Luger at her face, and that was because the man spoken flawless Japanese (it had only been a short sentence, but still...). He was obviously the figure she had glanced earlier, wearing a brown trench coat and carrying some sort of large bundle on his right shoulder. He also wore an expensive-looking crucifix around his neck, which seemed largely irrelevant at that time.  
  
Rayden frowned as he looked over the woman in front of him. "You... do not have the makings of a terrorist..."  
  
"Congratulations, Sherlock," Asuka said irritably, "you kind of have the makings of a Russian gunman, though. No offense."  
  
"Don't worry, I'm not one of Yutchzky's men," the vigilante assured her.  
  
"Oh! That's great! What a relief!" Asuka said in an overly-joyous tone, "THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU POINTING THAT THING AT MY FACE?!"  
  
"I cannot afford to make any mistakes," Rayden replied calmly, "do not worry, I won't shoot you."  
  
Asuka immediately turned and kicked with her right foot, striking the gun in the bottom of the handle with her toe and knocking it out of Rayden's grasp. Turning the rest of the way around, she then snatched the AK-47 back off the ground, and aimed it at the super-soldier's chest.  
  
"For a guy who can't make any mistakes, you were pretty quick in making that one," Asuka chided, switching to single-shot mode on the rifle, "you don't tell someone you're holding at gunpoint that you're not going to shoot them. They might believe you."  
  
Rayden stared at her expressionlessly, and then glanced toward the back of the alley, where his pistol laid. "Impressive. You are very skilled."  
  
"Oh, thank you so much!" Asuka said mockingly in a high-pitched, super-girly voice. Then it went flat again. "Now back off jerkwad. I've got bigger fish to fry."  
  
As if in response to that statement, a distant pounding noise was heard as the nearby Prometheus began moving forward toward its objective.  
  
Asuka cursed under her breath. "Well, great. Okay pal, this is how it's going to work. I'm going to-"  
  
Rayden responded by walking around her into the street, apparently unconcerned that she had a semi-automatic weapon aimed at him. "We must hurry if we are to stop that machine."  
  
Asuka's left eye twitched, but she lowered her gun. "Yeah? You got any ideas?"  
  
"I have guns," Rayden responded in a totally unhelpful manner, "you destroyed the other machine; do they have any weak points?"  
  
Asuka frowned as she followed the vigilante down the street. "Well... I destroyed it by hitting the ammo compartment under the shoulder mount. But there's no way you can hit that without getting right up there on top of it."  
  
"I see," he mumbled, once again being incredibly unhelpful. "There are no other weaknesses from this angle? It would be most difficult to try and assault this machine from the front."  
  
The Russian started to move faster, and Asuka grit her teeth as she started jogging to keep up. "You're the big, bad gunman! Why don't you figure out where to shoot!"  
  
Rayden shrugged. "I could likely destroy it with what I have, but I don't have many shots that could damage something that big, and there are other machines out there. If I hit it, the hit must count."  
  
This, unlike his other statements, was somewhat helpful. "Wait! I remember!" Asuka said suddenly, "there's some kind of fuel compartment on the bottom that just sticks out into the rear, I think. If you can pierce the outer armor, it should do some serious damage!" She pointed to the rear of the machine. "There, near the bottom."  
  
Rayden responded by sticking his left hand into his coat, and pulling out a sniper rifle. Then he handed it to Asuka. "Do you know how to use this?"  
  
She didn't bother responding as she dropped her rifle and snatched the offered one. Instead she checked the cartridge, hit the safety, and then lined up a shot at the soldier standing at attention atop the assault mech.  
  
*Pchoo* The silencer masked the noise of the gunshot as the soldier fell over limply, eventually sliding off the mech and landing heavily on the ground.  
  
"............" Rayden gave Asuka a cautious sideways glance. "I take it your career as a security guard has been... eventful?"  
  
"Take a look around, dork," Asuka said snidely, holding the rifle over her shoulder, "just another day in Tokyo, you know?" She didn't bother informing him of her actual career that had been recently terminated. After all, she didn't want to scare off the guy before he got the chance to help her some more.  
  
Rayden calmly watched the Prometheus stalk down the street, and pulled out a plastic-coated box from his coat pocket.  
  
"What, you're lighting up now? Isn't there a better time for you to be taking a smoke break?"  
  
Ignoring her, he took one of the cigarettes between his teeth and then lit it with his usual lighter (this time without having several explosives keyed to detonate). The mech seemed to be moving slowly, no doubt searching for more targets as it went.  
  
"Ugh. Just keep away, all right? I can't STAND cigarette smoke."  
  
Rayden put away his lighter, and then flipped the bundle on his shoulder down into his arms. Then he grabbed the cloth cover and ripped it off.  
  
Asuka's eyes bulged. In Rayden's hands was the biggest gun she had ever seen that wasn't mounted to a vehicle of some type (and remember, she had worked with Snake). The stock was block-shaped like a shotgun's, and had both a .50 caliber belt feed on the top, and a huge revolver-like cylinder that held six munitions that looked like tank shells. The barrel, likewise, had two parts: a perforated barrel that stuck out on top and was obviously for the machine gun function, and a larger, shorter cannon barrel that was shielded to protect the rest of the gun from the discharge. The entire device gleamed brightly in the mid-afternoon sun, and Asuka felt just a little bit nervous as she looked at it (remember again, she had worked with Snake).  
  
"Uh... okay... is that thing really going to pierce that armor?"  
  
Rayden let some smoke blow out of the corner of his mouth, and then raised the massive weapon, pulling back a lever on the side that switched firing modes. "I have been crafting weapons since I was old enough to understand how they work."  
  
The haze of the tobacco swam over him, and his altered senses fragmented; he could see his shot moving through the air, and going low. He budged the weapon upward slightly. Explosions seemed to ring in his ears, a ghost of things to come. "There is no armor Yutchzky can craft that can protect him from Judgment."  
  
Asuka sweatdropped. "Uh... great. You gonna shoot, or what?"  
  
"Lord, guide my aim," Rayden murmured, causing Asuka to groan tiredly, "let my power carry your word, and my bullets carve the defilers from this land."  
  
*Shtoom!* The shell burst from Judgment's barrel, and Asuka was amazed that the bottom portion of Rayden's trench coat was the only thing blown back, for how powerful the recoil looked to be. Then again, she supposed that she didn't know many people who could have even kept such a big gun up with both hands.  
  
*CHAKOOOM!!* The shell punched through the heavy armor over the flamethrower ammo basin, and the entire mech was lost in a huge vortex of flame as the fuel reserves detonated like a napalm bomb.  
  
The Prometheus stopped as all of its internals were subjected to far more heat than the coolant sinks could handle, and fire flooded through the ammo compartments and into the more sensitive mechanical components.  
  
Asuka shielded her eyes and gagged slightly as a wave of intense heat washed over her. Rayden simply walked forward, apparently unaffected.  
  
Aiming at the same spot, Rayden lifted his weapon into the air and fired off another round.  
  
*CHOOM!!* This time there was no brilliant firestorm, but there was a devastating explosion that threw chunks of armor and bits of what was formerly the engine and power core all over the street.  
  
With its center of gravity severely altered, its hydraulics shot, and its failsafes inoperable, the Prometheus teetered unsteadily on its flame-weakened knees before toppling forward, the huge cockpit nose digging into the melting asphalt below. The firestorm, meanwhile, continued to rage all around the now-helpless unit, and Asuka shook her head as the cockpit was quickly lost within the flames.  
  
Rayden took a deep drag from his cigarette, then blew out a thin wisp of smoke. "He is finished. This unit is done." Then he turned toward Asuka. "Your assistance is appreciated, but it would be most wise of you to return to..." he trailed off as Asuka walked right past him.  
  
"I don't take orders from the likes of you," the former police captain reminded him coldly, "now you can either follow me, or you can take off. Either way, I'm going forward."  
  
Rayden stared at Asuka's back as she walked away, an unreadable expression on his face. Then he took another drag from his cigarette, slung his gun Judgment over his shoulder, and walked briskly to catch up with her.  
  
"You go to very great lengths to protect whatever you guard. It's... commendable, I suppose."  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Asuka said dismissively, snatching the cigarette out of Rayden's mouth, "if you're coming with me, then no smoking!" She rubbed the lit end on the belt of Rayden's coat to put the cigarette out, then tossed the rest of the tobacco stick in a nearby rubbish bin.  
  
The vigilante sweatdropped as he watched her do this, and stared at the small ashen smudge on his belt as Asuka continued on down the street. Then he followed her once again. "You seem very much at ease, considering I'm carrying a gun almost as big as you," he said, just the tiniest edge of bitterness in his voice.  
  
Asuka stopped, and turned around. "Please don't threaten me," she said evenly, "not even one of those veiled, halfway-subtle threats. I don't enjoy it." She turned back around and calmly continued forward.  
  
Rayden wasn't sure if the flames behind him were finally starting to die down, but for some reason it suddenly seemed a bit colder outside. 'I see my luck with women continues... at least these Japanese are hardy folk, to deal with things like this so well.'  
  
The poor man didn't have a clue in the world.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The pilot of one of the two remaining Prometheus mechs searched the street warily as he continued attempting to contact his comrades, particularly the unit that had reached the tech center already. However, to his bewilderment, he could only reach unit 3, who had broken off from him just a little earlier.  
  
This didn't bode well at all. That the Prometheus units could fall so quickly without half the city lighting up with explosions meant that the Japanese government was far more prepared to deal with a heavy conventional assault than the Freedom's Angels could have possibly guessed. And even worse, it meant that he wasn't nearly as safe in the armored cockpit of an eighty-ton war machine as he seemed to be.  
  
It was, with those admissions, only moderately ironic that he never noticed a small metal cylinder the flew out of a nearby window and landed between the massive feet of the heavy machine.  
  
*BOINK!* *Fwooooooosh!* A vortex opened up (well, sort of opened up. It wasn't exactly there, you see - it's a quantum thing) and immediately got to its work of rearranging the atomic balances within its area of effect, reducing both legs and the lower torso of the mech into so many composite metal scrunchies.  
  
*CRASH!* As the vortex closed in on itself, the cockpit and upper torso of the Prometheus came crashing down onto the street, and the soldier riding on top of the mech stumbled over and slid down the canopy, stunned and completely unsure of what had happened.  
  
*Pow!* That soldier was thrown across the street and into unconsciousness as a flying roundhouse connected with his shoulder, and Ranma slid to a stop on the ground directly in front of the armored canopy.  
  
Cupping his hands together, a ball of blue ki began to form in his hand.  
  
"Feh! This is too easy!" Ranma shouted, shoving his arms forward. "Moko takabisha!" *BLAMMO!!*  
  
The ki blast was heavily concentrated, so while it managed to break a hole in the cockpit canopy, it didn't do much to the area surrounding it. Even so, Ranma wiped some sweat from his forehead, having poured more energy than usual into the blast to break through the heavy armor.  
  
"Yeesh! Okay, this one's done!" Ranma jumped onto the cockpit and reached inside, grabbing the shell-shocked pilot and managing to pull him out onto the street in only three tries (his head kept hitting the area outside the hole).  
  
After dumping the second Russian onto the ground, Ranma turned around to look for his companions, only to quickly turn away uneasily as he saw Hunter gorging himself on the previously dispatched opponent.  
  
Kyle didn't seem quite as perturbed as Ranma was as he walked up to the Prometheus remains, but still looked worried. "Hey, we're not expected to arrest any of these guys, are we?"  
  
Ranma gave him a blank expression, then stared at the remaining soldier, who was lying on the street, dazed.  
  
Hunter licked some blood from his beak, then growled as he stalked up to the semi-conscious victim. When he was only a meter away, Hunter stopped and looked at Ranma, as if waiting for a decision.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Uh... I'm going to say 'no'."  
  
Hunter happily jumped toward the remaining Russian, who was sensate enough to give a short scream of terror before he was silenced permanently.  
  
"Oh! That's a relief!" Kyle laughed, holding his chest. "Cause we already got in plenty of trouble for today, you know, with stealing a car and then ditching it and all. Don't want to overdo it."  
  
"Riiiiiight," Ranma drawled, "anyway, I'm going to climb on top of that building there and see if I can spot any more of those things. I want you to... Hunter?"  
  
Ranma blinked as the zergling looked up from its current meal (dead, but unfinished), and began to sniff the air, though it was only possible to tell from the grating sound of air being sucked powerfully into the hardened slits of the creature's beak.  
  
"Yo, something wrong, boy?" Kyle asked, patting the zergling on the head.  
  
"Grrrrrrgh..." Kyle flinched away at Hunter's dangerous growl, though the killer alien had his eyes locked on something down the street, obviously too far away for either of its masters to see.  
  
"REEAR!!" With a bloodthirsty screech, Hunter sprinted forward at a speed that no one would have expected from something of his size, leaving a trail of dust (along with the occasional piece of shattered scrap metal) to mark his path.  
  
Ranma scratched his head as he watched the zergling disappear into the distance. "Huh. Well, I guess he's got other plans."  
  
Kyle looked worried. "Do you really think we should let him run off on his own like that?"  
  
"No, I don't!" Ranma answered as he jumped up to a third-story window, "do YOU really think we should try and stop him?"  
  
"You know, that is an excellent point."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The terrorist retrievement convoy lumbered by along the deserted Tokyo streets, their hastily constructed, slipshod escort trucks (a Toyota with a Squad Assault Weapon duct-taped to the roof) a stark contrast to the sharp and devastating Russian mecha (not that it had done the Russian mecha very much good so far).  
  
Their job was to travel to the target location and steal everything that looked more complex than a screwdriver, and they were well-suited to their job.  
  
On the way, however, the rag-tag convoy trip was pretty boring. Much of the time these routes were devoid of any targets of opportunity, which included anybody holding, possibly hiding, possessing, or having heard of a gun, which was thanks to the semi-successful efforts of whoever went ahead of them. Thus, the death toll of stray dogs and cats that tirelessly wandered the streets and alleyways tended to rise dramatically each time one such procession rolled past (the terrorists, despite being stupid and illogical, tended toward the opposite ethical policy as animal rights enthusiasts).  
  
However, when one gunner happily shouted that he saw a dog coming, and then a moment later remarked that it was the biggest and most hideous dog he had ever seen, it occurred to many that this routine operation had hit a bit of a speed bump.  
  
*Rattattattattattattattattatta!*  
  
*Ptang!* *Toom!* *Twang!* The spray of bullets bounced harmlessly off of Hunter's reinforced carapace, and he continued his 50 mph clip headlong toward the side of the old pickup truck that was heading the convoy.  
  
Front claws digging into the pavement, Hunter turned and smashed sidelong into the head vehicle, causing the truck to flip over sideways and then crash into a utility pole, to say nothing of its occupants.  
  
Hunter stopped in the middle of the street, and his crimson eyes scanned over the remaining vehicles, like a cat deciding which mouse looked tastiest.  
  
A few of the gunners still hadn't stopped firing their machine guns at him, though they were reasonably sure at this point that it wasn't doing anybody any good.  
  
"RAM IT!! NOW!!" Nobody was sure who called the order, or precisely what drug he was under the influence of at the time, but the new head vehicle of the convoy, another pickup truck, accelerated suddenly and bolted forward straight at the deadly alien.  
  
Hunter snorted, and then leaned down, bunching up his legs.  
  
The driver died fairly quickly as the zergling's claws ripped through the cabin windshield, tearing through glass and metal heedless of the sensitive human flesh sitting just beyond. The gunner sitting in the passenger seat bravely attempted to open the door to escape, but instead fell into a tumble toward the invading claws as the unbalanced and still-moving truck slowly teetered over onto its side.  
  
As they watched the truck fall onto its side and skid to a stop, with the vicious warbeast's front end still poking into the cabin, the remains of the convoy seriously considered the possibility of turning around telling Igov that some kind of freakish mutant, that wasn't on their side, inexplicably enough, had attacked and eaten several of their comrades.  
  
Apparently they dwelled on the matter too long, for a few seconds later, the roof of the downed truck ripped open like a sardine can, and Hunter made a run for the next vehicle in line.  
  
The occupants of the car made the assumption that they were slightly safer trying to make their escape in the car than outside it, and put the vehicle in reverse to try and get some distance to turn around.  
  
Hunter merely ripped into the hood with his upper claws, then bit down hard through the hood and into the engine, arresting the vehicle's acceleration. After that, it was only three more strokes of his claws until the alien warbeast once again stuck his head into the vehicle through the front windshield, his beak snapping fiercely with uncontrolled bloodlust.  
  
"OH MY GO-AAAAAUGH!!!"  
  
"Oh God! Oh God! Please, NO!! GET IT AWAY FRO-Gugh!"  
  
At this point the remaining terrorists were seriously worried about their chances of destroying this rogue monster before they were sliced up in an extremely painful and visceral manner.  
  
One man had finished rummaging through the emergency weapons supplies, and jumped outside of his truck brandishing an old RPG launcher.  
  
"Ha! Let's see it shrug THIS off!" As plenty of blood was still flying from the shattered vehicle, the puny fool took plenty of time to line up his shot properly, and then released the explosive projectile.  
  
*Kaboom!* Hunter was blown off of the shredded remains of the automobile, and landed hard on his side before skidding to a painful stop on the sidewalk.  
  
"Ha! Got the bastard!" The terrorist cheered, raising his weapon.  
  
The other men sweatdropped as they watched the alien slowly get to its feet, a darkened, charred patch on its armor where the RPG had hit. No actual damage was evident. *Screech!* *Vroooooom*  
  
The terrorist who had fired the projectile, unfortunately, had spent more time gaping than the others, and only realized that his comrades had abandoned him when one of the vehicles rolled over his foot.  
  
"OW!! Hey! Watch where you're... uh..." the man gulped as he watched the last two vehicles speed away in the direction they had come from, apparently deeming the operation a failure.  
  
"Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk," a rapid-fire clicking noise echoed from deep within Hunter's throat, and leftover blood dripped from his beak as he slowly advanced upon the final victim of the hour.  
  
"No! Somebody! Anybody!! Help me!! WAAAAAUGH!! AAAH!!! AAAH!!! MY LEG!! NO, PLEASE!!! IT'S-Gurk!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Get down! Get behind cover, now!!" Mia shouted, dashing away from the lines of explosions that ran down the street.  
  
Pulling her arms over her head, the Colonel winced as the rain of munitions blasted past her in a formulated track that followed down the entire stretch of road, annihilating Core's assets that had been placed behind the front lines.  
  
'Damn it, intel didn't include the possibility of airborne threats!' Mia thought, frustrated.  
  
The boomers atop the buildings stopped firing, and Mia got up into a crouch. The whole street, as far as the robots were able to hit from their angle, had been blasted in two parallel lines, which left two deep trenches in the shattered asphalt.  
  
Looking up at the boomers, Mia could see the shoulder cannons slide backward out of firing position. Then their arms started moving, and Mia grimaced as the boomers began to move away from each other, apparently searching for actual targets rather than general bombardment.  
  
She scanned the area. The communications van and both munitions trucks had been wiped out by the bombardment, and several Core troopers lay on the ground, wounded. Unfortunately, there was no time to help them while those shiny blue death machines were stationed above.  
  
She spied an abandoned autorifle laying next to the flaming metal skeleton of a shredded car, and Mia ran for it while fishing an armor-piercing clip from one of the pockets on the leg of her jumpsuit.  
  
Luckily, the boomers that had remained to clean up that segment of street apparently didn't notice her, because Mia was able to snatch up the rifle without having to dodge armor-piercing fire.  
  
'They must hold the protect-gear as a higher priority,' Mia guessed as she popped out the normal autorifle clip and inserted her special one.  
  
Regardless of why they hadn't fired up until then, Mia grimaced as she heard a few heavy rounds drive into the shattered metal hulk she was using as cover, and she took a deep breath before jumping out into firing range.  
  
*Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-!!* The boomer that was gunning for her shook slightly as the autorifle rounds dug into, but not through, its thicker torso armor, and continued to return fire.  
  
*B-Twang!* *Bwoom!* One lucky shot slammed into its optical sensors, and then bored all the way out the other side, blowing out a mess of electronics out through a hole in the back of the automaton's head.  
  
*WARNING! WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!!* *Bzzt!* *CPU DAMAGED. COMMENCING AUTOREPAIR.* *Brzack!* *AUTOREPAIR FUNCTION FAILED! COMPUTATIONAL INTEGRITY DAMAGED!! GREEN PARTY POLITCAL PLATFORM FALLING INTO LOGICAL SPECTRUM!! ERROR!! ERROR!! BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!*  
  
From below, Mia sweatdropped as several electric arcs curled around the greater body of the boomer. Subsequently, the battle robot lost power and tilted forward off of the building, causing the colonel to flinch away as the heavy metal hulk slammed onto the ground.  
  
"Well... that was... odd," Mia allowed, still staring at the non-functional droid.  
  
Which someone of her experience and wisdom definitely should not have been doing, considering she was still in a warzone.  
  
*Bam!* Mia whirled around as she heard something land heavily behind her, and her eyes widened as the boomer's triple-barreled cannon began to rotate in preparation to fire.  
  
*TARGET IDENTIFIED: COMMAND UNIT. PRIORITY TARGET. EXTERMI-* *KABLAM!!*  
  
Mia was blown back as the boomer detonated, an armor-piercing rocket having been driven into its back, where the fuel for its rockets were also stored.  
  
"Colonel Tokima, ma'am! Are you all right?!" Mizu rushed forward while keeping her eye on the tops of buildings, looking for any signs of blue armor. Behind her, an armored Core trooper lowered his rocket launcher and advanced at a slower pace.  
  
Mia nodded gratefully and stood up. "Thanks to you..."  
  
Mizu picked up on the hint and stopped to salute. "Private Kotetsu reporting, ma'am! And this is Corporal Mako from the anti-armor unit."  
  
The corporal nodded as he stepped forward. "Private Kotetsu alerted us to the presence of the boomers before they could take us by surprise..." looking around, he amended "from the front, at least. Two more were taken down before we moved back out of the heavy fire zone, and the last two aren't making easy progress, assuming there aren't more surprises out there for us."  
  
Mizu nodded seriously. "The terrorists seem to be holding the line rather than fleeing as expected, but we estimate that with the attack bots down, they'll be dispersed easily."  
  
"Excellent work. We should..." Mia stopped talking as she heard the sounded of slow clapping, and turned around, her eyes narrowing.  
  
Igov strode down the street, his hands clapping slowly and a smile on his face. "Well, well. You have done well, yes? I would say you have won battle. Yes, indeed."  
  
Mia hefted her weapon in her arms and pointed it at the Russian. Behind her, Mia and Mako both fell into crouches and took more careful aim, the latter exchanging his launcher for his autorifle.  
  
"So... you're here to surrender then?" Mia asked cautiously, an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Ha ha ha ha!! I like you, woman!" Igov grinned, and the light of his artificial eye flashed red. "Igov lives for war. To watch on sidelines is not way of a soldier. Igov will make his own kills."  
  
"I don't like the words that are coming out of your mouth, Russian," Mia spat, "you have five seconds to convince me that those words were a mistranslation on your part. Otherwise, you go back to Moscow in a casket."  
  
"Igov likes that prospect. Shall we began?" *Shrak* Metal wires and plates suddenly burst out of Igov's hands and forearms, shredding the gloves and sleeves of his outfit.  
  
Core personnel weren't so stupid as to sit gaping while an opponent strengthened himself, however, and all three of them opened fire.  
  
Predictably, to everyone reading this right now at least, even the armor-piercing munitions in Mia's rifle failed to do anything more than put holes into Igov's trench coat.  
  
The general's arms, which had already split open to reveal a series of plates and metal tubes that had been fashioned into working hands, further split apart, and the hands collapsed and were sucked into the wrists as a long tube extended outward. After that, the plates that had initially ripped away the covering fabric fell into place over the tubes, covering all but the tips in a metal box.  
  
The Core soldiers knew what was coming, as unbelievable as they still found it for a man's hands to suddenly burst and reconfigure into machine guns. Mizu dove left behind the broken remains of the Core communications van, while Mia dove right and rolled into an alley.  
  
*BrZa-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-ow!* The corporal lacked the maneuverability of his compatriots while in his protect gear, and shook violently as Igov's guns ripped through even the heavy armor of his protect-gear chestplate.  
  
"Give me a break!" Mia shouted from within the alley, priming her rifle. "Machine gun arms?! That is so cheap!"  
  
Igov smirked as smoke wafted from the barrels of his arm cannons, and he laughed uproariously as the armored corpse in front of him fell lifelessly onto its side. "Ha ha ha ha!! Run, little mice! Run! Or the Red Death shall cut you down!!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Do you see it?" Ranma asked, leaning out the window.  
  
"Just barely," Kyle answered, holding the quantum grenade in his hand, "but explain to me again why I have to do this."  
  
Ranma sighed and ducked back into the apartment room they were using as cover. "Because Hunter took off, that's why. I told you that."  
  
Kyle frowned. "Dude, you're going to have to kill people yourself sometime. What's the problem, anyway?"  
  
Ranma grit his teeth. "Would you knock it off?! It's just not easy for me, okay? Now just get ready to chuck that thing at the cockpit." The Prometheus was walking down the street toward them, so the soldiers had a good shot at the front of the mech, and the semi-vulnerable canopy.  
  
"I don't get it, though. I mean, you kill the mutants with no problem, right?"  
  
"That's because they're mutants," Ranma explained irritably, "it's like killing a poisonous spider, or swatting a mosquito. They're not humans, they're like menacing animals." Against most people, Ranma wouldn't have the highest degree of success in an intellectual debate. Versus Kyle, Ranma was in an altogether superior league. The former police officer accepted his words in silence, and went back to staring at the strange grenade in his hand.  
  
*Koom* *Koom* *Koom*  
  
Ranma poked his head out again. "Okay, it's getting closer. Get ready."  
  
*Click* "... Oops."  
  
Ranma's eyes widened, and he swiftly kicked the weapon out of Kyle's hand before it could explode. "You idiot! Get down!"  
  
*Boink!* *Kshoooooom!* Both Core soldiers ducked down as the vortex opened up on the side of the room, ripping apart the wall and furniture within the folds of the multi-dimensional flux.  
  
Ranma and Kyle, who had jumped behind a couch, slowly stood up as the singularity collapsed, leaving bits of plaster, metal, and plastic lying around the twisted remains of the carpet that had been within the sphere of destruction.  
  
"........." Ranma massaged his forehead. "Kyle... you suck."  
  
"Eh heh heh..." Kyle laughed uneasily, "so, uh, what now?"  
  
Ranma sighed, then cracked his knuckles. "Well, so much for stupid, unexplainable scientific gadgets. Looks like we're going to have to do things my way."  
  
"You mean by poking it so it explodes?" Kyle asked, scratching his head.  
  
Ranma nodded. "Of course. I'll have that thing in pieces."  
  
"You're sure now."  
  
"Of course I'm sure!"  
  
"By poking it."  
  
"Yes, by poking it! It works! Seriously!"  
  
"By poking it."  
  
"Oh, shut up and watch!"  
  
The Prometheus pilot was only momentarily distracted when half of a sphere suddenly appeared on the wall of an apartment building, and didn't even stop moving in order to observe, immediately chalking up the occurrence as 'a Tokyo thing'. The city was always being victimized by monsters and occult phenomena, after all. Some local was probably just trying to summon Satan or something.  
  
That explanation, though perfectly logical, didn't account for the young man that subsequently jumped out of a second story window and jump-kicked the soldier riding atop the mech, knocking him down onto the street. Nor did it properly explain why that person then yelled something in Japanese at him (Ranma was, at this point, directly on top of the mech, so the pilot couldn't see what he was doing). In any case, nothing happened afterward, so the pilot shook his head and hit a few buttons on his console.  
  
Ranma blinked as he continued applying pressure to his finger, which was pointing straight down at the top of the mech. Nothing happened.  
  
'Wait, there was a short period before it exploded last time. Just wait...'  
  
A few seconds passed. Nothing. It occurred to Ranma that he could use this time to get out of the blast zone. Nothing. Instead, Ranma stood up and tapped his foot on the armored head of the Prometheus. Still nothing.  
  
"Dammit! Are you trying to tell me this thing can't be broken?!" Ranma shouted angrily. That couldn't be though; it was just some kind of metal, which was simply a more processed form of rock, which the technique was designed to work on! And besides, it had worked on the tank.  
  
"Huh... maybe I didn't do it right. That must be it. I've only pulled it off once on a guess." Ranma flexed his fingers and cleared his mind. Ryoga had spent days being pounded into boulders to learn this technique, so he had probably been conditioned well to pull it off perfectly every time.  
  
"Bakusai tenketsu!" Ranma shouted, once again poking the top of the mech with his finger.  
  
To his pleasant surprise, something spontaneous then occurred. To his great disappointment, it was simply numerous large slits opening below him.  
  
*Hwooosh!* "Gyaaaaah!" Ranma yelled in surprise as the Prometheus blasted him with hot air, venting its power core through the top of its armor and incidentally also blowing him off the mech onto the street.  
  
*Thud!* "Ow!" Ranma growled as he got to his feet, rubbing his head.  
  
"Stupid rassafrassan..." Ranma trailed off mumbling, and pulled back his hands, a sphere of blue appearing in his palms. "Moko takabisha!" He yelled, throwing the ki blast forward.  
  
"Unfortunately, given that the Prometheus' leg was heavily armored, added to the fact that Ranma's confidence wasn't at its peak at that exact moment, the energy ball didn't do much except char the outer armor of the leg. The mech continued forward, unopposed.  
  
"Sonuva-!" Ranma fell to his knees and pounded the ground with his fist. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Aren't there any martial arts techniques you can use to destroy giant war mecha?!" He complained angrily. Then he jumped onto the back of the mech, jabbing at random points.  
  
"Bakusai tenketsu! Bakusai tenketsu! Explode, damn you! EXPLODE!! Bakusai tenketsu! Blow up! Be destroyed!! STOP MOVING!! Bakusai tenketsu! Bakusai tenketsu! Bakusai tenketsu!"  
  
He never did figure out exactly what he did right, but for some reason, when he had crawled onto the side of the shoulder cannon in an effort to jab every square inch of the machine, the section of armor that he poked suddenly glowed and blew outward, exploding with enough force to knock Ranma's grip loose.  
  
*Thud!* "Ow!" Rubbing a second lump on his head, Ranma looked up hopefully to see what kind of damage he had done. And then he groaned.  
  
"You gotta be kidding me! That hole's less than half a meter wide! Last time I blew up a whole bloody tank turret!"  
  
The Prometheus evidently didn't care about his problems, and continued stomping onwards.  
  
Ranma was preparing to jump back up and try again, when his danger sense flared. Given that he was just a few feet away from a towering war machine, it was understandable, and most fortunate, that he assumed it was the threat, and jumped away from it as far as he could.  
  
When he landed several meters away, Ranma couldn't see any weapon of the Prometheus that seemed to be a threat to, or were in fact even remotely aware of him.  
  
A moment later, however, he did see a big explosive bullet sail right into the hole he had put in the side of the neocannon.  
  
*KA-KROOOOM!!!* The ammo supply for the neocannon ripped the left side of the Prometheus apart, sending hunks of armor and shredded metal shrapnel all over the street. A moment later a second shell plowed into the ravaged metal hulk, creating a less spectacular explosion, but destroying any internal components that escaped the first detonation.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Ranma mumbled to himself, shielding his eyes.  
  
"Ranma? Ranma! Over here!"  
  
The aforementioned martial artist blinked and pointed to himself like an idiot, then turned around to look down the street that explosive had come from.  
  
"Asuka?"  
  
Asuka turned and nodded appreciatively to the heavy-set man behind her. "Good shot, pal. We owe you one." She frowned. "Though I don't know what the deal is with you not being able to aim right unless you light up. That's pretty weird."  
  
Rayden took a drag from his cigarette, then shrugged. "It does not matter. You need not thank me, for I do the Lord's work."  
  
Asuka sweatdropped. "I never heard about Jesus Christ running around gunning down evildoers, but nonetheless, thank you anyway."  
  
Rayden shrugged. "I like to think of it as 'smiting'."  
  
"Riiiiiiight," Asuka mumbled, turning away. 'Crazy religious nuts. And does he ever smile, or what? It's like his face is chiseled from stone!'  
  
She smiled as Ranma finished jogging up to her. "Hi Ranma! On the job, I see!" She gestured toward Rayden. "Ranma, this is some vigilante gunman who's apparently on our side. Mr. Vigilante Gunman, this is Ranma Saotome. I used to give him orders before I became a security guard."  
  
Ranma chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Uh, yeah. That's a, uh, big gun you have there."  
  
"Heavy opponents call for heavy weapons," Rayden said simply. Then he bowed. "My name is Rayden Shikodan. From the insignia on your jacket, I expect you have heard of me."  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Nope. Should I have?"  
  
Rayden raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps... Core does not take... 'vigilante action' as well as some people. It is most unfortunate."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Hey, anybody who runs around blowing up bad guys without even getting paid for it can't be all bad." He put and arm around Asuka's shoulders, who started in surprise. "Right, Captain?"  
  
Asuka blushed a bit, but smirked. "Well, I couldn't just sit around and do nothing. They might have damaged the parking garage."  
  
Rayden suddenly stood up straight, which wasn't a very significant movement, but somehow captured both Ranma and Asuka's attention. "It warms my heart that there are such people in Japan that seek to unite against the enemy."  
  
'Not that you could tell by looking at your face,' Ranma and Asuka thought simultaneously.  
  
Rayden bowed again, while taking a brown cloth out from his coat. "It has been a great honor to meet with you. May the Lord's light protect and guide you through the oncoming darkness." Wrapping up Judgment in the cloth, he than began to tie it up with string. "One such darkness I would discuss with you, Saotome."  
  
Ranma blinked. "Eh?"  
  
"I have heard... through various sources, that the terrorist organization known at the Freedom's Angels has a mole inside of Core. As the only member of that organization to not fire at me on sight, I ask that you look into the matter."  
  
Ranma and Asuka blinked in surprise.  
  
"In Core?! You've gotta be kidding me!" Asuka said, a bit indignantly, "Core is the most well-organized and disciplined faction in Japan! There's no way one of those idiot FAs managed to dig their way into it!"  
  
Ranma merely remained silent; he didn't know anything about Core's policies as far as their recruitment went, but he did know that they had accepted Kyle into their fold. So obviously, Asuka's assessment of the situation was less than realistic.  
  
Rayden raised a hand peaceably, slinging his packaged gun over his left shoulder. "I know only what comes from the frightened mouths of murderers and rapists, those marked for death by the holy light." Seeing Asuka and Ranma's uncomprehending stares, Rayden plucked the cigarette out of his mouth and flicked it into a wastebasket standing nearby on the sidewalk. "Even Christ's presence was infiltrated by the traitorous shadows. I only ask that you be aware, guardians." He bowed once more. "I take my leave of you. We will likely meet again."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*BrZa-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-Za-ow!* A line of bullets tore into brick wall above Mia, and the Colonel waited for the burst to end before she rose up behind the car and fired.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* Having used up the remaining ammo for her autorifle, Mia was forced to resort to using her sidearm with regular ammunition. This proved, predictably, to be about as effective against Igov as thrown gravel.  
  
*Toomp* *Toomp* *P-tang!* Igov's head jerked to the side slightly as one round deflected off his skull, tearing through the nerveless skin and bouncing harmlessly off the metal skull underneath.  
  
"You fool. Die!"  
  
Mia ran for it as the Russian general fired another spray at her, running forward and tucking into a rolling somersault.  
  
Igov's cybernetic eye flashed as his target successfully escaped his fire, rolling behind the blazing remains of a munitions truck. "Moderately impressive. But you will not escape."  
  
The targeting reticle of that same eye flashed off to the side in Igov's sights, and he turned around just as Mizu finished arming the dead corporal's rocket launcher behind him.  
  
*Fwooosh!* The rocket blasted forward, and Igov leapt backward, letting the explosive warhead detonate harmlessly on the street below.  
  
*Tomp* Landing heavily on his feet, Igov flexed a muscle in his arms, and both guns suddenly released hundreds of bullet casings, dropping them onto the shattered asphalt. A lever on the side snapped forward, and new belts of ammunition being fed from inside Igov's coat were attached to the ammo feeds on his arm cannons.  
  
Another explosion detonated in the background, and Igov grinned as several more soldiers walked down the street toward him, apparently breaking off from the mop-up battle between Core and the terrorists. "Excellent! More toys to break!" He raised his weapons as Mia began shouting for the soldiers to take cover.  
  
Then he halted as a beeping noise originated from his communicator.  
  
{"......... What? All the Prometheus units, destroyed? ALL of them?"} It didn't seem possible. Not at this point.  
  
Down the street, half the Core soldiers were listening incredulously as Mia swore that the target ahead of them was absolutely bulletproof, while the other half stared curiously at the target, who seemed wholly preoccupied by something that they couldn't make out. Also, he seemed to be mumbling to himself in Russian. Most odd.  
  
Igov bit his lip. {"All units are to withdraw. What? Okay, fine, all remaining units are to withdraw. We can spend no more time or resources on this operation."}  
  
Sighing deeply, the Russian general mentally deactivated his communicator, and then looked forlornly at the lines of soldiers that were hiding behind cars and around corners, all of them waiting for him to make a move.  
  
'Today was a good battle... but it is not my battle. Not yet.' And so, he turned and fled.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The unfortunately named Dr. Deth nodded in satisfaction as the last of the major exhibits were loaded into the armored truck and then locked inside, safe from the panic and chaos of the evacuation.  
  
Everywhere, scientists, businessmen, and government officials were running around trying to get minor exhibits into cars, lead their superiors out of the parking lot, clear up a collision that was blocking most of the traffic out, and generally try and make sense of the huge mess of people that were primarily trying to get the hell away from the Nimiaka Technology Center as quickly as possible.  
  
Those who were more used to weathering such assaults rather than escaping them, such as the good doctor and a few of his colleagues who were mumbling about their exhibits being shown up by a colossal war mecha of obviously inferior Russian design, mostly wandered about the tech center and saw to the recovery of the more promising technology (or in some cases, the sneaky and not entirely legal acquisition of such technology).  
  
Dr. Deth had mostly helped the government officials pack the top exhibits in a special transport, which would take it to a secure area until the panic of the evacuation had died down and a recovery plan could be assessed.  
  
"Hmmmm... Maria?"  
  
"Yes?" His attractive assistant turned toward him, blinking her eyes and still clutching her clipboard against her ample chest.  
  
"I'm not sure what it is, but something about this still leaves me... uneasy."  
  
Mari blinked again. "Well Doctor, you did give away several unstable weapons of incomprehensible power to a couple of strangers."  
  
"Oh, no, it's not that," the doctor assured her, "it's just that... I can't help but feel that all is not well..."  
  
It was at that moment that the driver of the exhibit truck, who no one had noticed looked like an extra from the show Jackass, accelerated the vehicle and then sped out of the parking lot. And by "out of the parking lot" I mean he went through the hedge on the border of the parking lot, nearly ran into a tree, smashed into the corner of the tech center itself, and then turned unsteadily onto the street, where he then drove in the direction opposite the supposed "secure location".  
  
"Yeah, okay, I think that was the problem."  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Terrorists toasted: 124  
  
Russians roasted: 10  
  
Enemy vehicles blasted, shredded, or devoured: 13  
  
Enemy mecha sent to the scrap-yard in the sky: 5  
  
Hippies creamed: 49  
  
Other civilians lost: 4  
  
Scientific achievements captured: 11, + the prototype Game Boy Advanced SP EX  
  
Core personnel annihilated: 21  
  
End Chapter 14 


	15. The Calm Before the Storm

Author's Note: I don't usually do omakes or notes for Guardian, because frankly there are going to be too many bloody chapters for me to bother, but I felt it necessary to include a note concerning a matter that several people have informed me of, which I very much appreciate and is simply a response to my story that shows a level of deep respect and artificial immersion that I'm utterly baffled by.  
This matter involves Hunter, the zergling, who, in chapter 14, came under assault from machine gun fire and took an RPG to the side with little ill effect. Two people expressed reasonable protest for fear that I was "overpowering" Hunter, and another, through an ff.net review, expressed the opinion that he was "invincible".  
Here's my reasoning of the subject: a zergling, in its original Starcraft environment (which is very awesome, by the way, and I sincerely hope that you all mail Blizzard huge sums of money so that they don't have to give their series to some hack takeover company) routinely battles the Terrans, who use futuristic approximations of today's weapons (sort of). For example, a Terran marine, who is a heavily armored foot soldier, can only stand up to a zergling with an "armor-piercing gauss cannon" which, if you look at a full-body pic, is like the same size as a vaccuum cleaner. Armed with this weapon, a marine can kill a zergling (without upgrades) before it manages to completely rip apart the marine.  
Given the obvious advantage this weapon must have over present-day arms (especially as it has been known to break through shields and massive, heavily armored spacecraft!), I made the assumption that the outdated munitions of the larger Freedom Angel arsenal would be largely ineffective.  
As for the RPG, think of it this way: a zergling can suffer a single blast from a siege tank in normal mode without dying. The tank sports a heavy, double-barreled turret, and you just KNOW they've got some kind of super-special space-age tech behind their tank shells.  
Then, I thought back to footage I watched about the recent Iraq war, and specifically about the black char marks I had seen on tanks' exteriors. Apparently an RPG round of terrorist-obtainable quality does about the same kind of damage to modern-day tank armor that a match does to a block of concrete. I simply applied that comparison to Hunter's own advanced armor, and deduced that while the impact would hurt, the round would have no penetration.

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

**Lemon warning**! In addition to containing gratuitous levels of blood, gore, stupidity and dumb pop-culture references, this fanfiction also might contain explicit sexual content that will be described in an extremely graphic manner. Anybody who has any sort of moral decency will close their internet browsers right now! All of you who only pretend to have moral decency, however, may now spend a moment to take a good look around and make sure nobody's reading over your shoulder before you go back to reading. Guardian  
Chapter 15  
The Calm Before the Storm

Ranma sighed wearily as he approached his house, walking like his feet were made of lead.  
He had gone through a rough day; Core orientation had turned into active goofing off, and that had turned into a serious battle situation when the city had been attacked by giant mecha. Many people had died, and to top everything off, he hadn't seen Hunter since the zergling ran off in the middle of the engagement.  
"Oh man... and who knows how badly I'm gonna get chewed out tomorrow..." Ranma mumbled.  
Then he froze as he glanced at the splintered remains of the front door to his house, which looked to have been smashed through. "The hell?!"  
Ranma dashed up to his home, and then poked his head inside, expecting to see a burglar with a hatchet carting out his belongings.  
Instead, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Hunter crouched down in his living room, gnawing on something.  
"Oh! THERE you are! Where did you... hey, what happened?" Ranma blinked as he realized that one side of the pet zergling had a large blood stain, and that the area was pockmarked with little holes.  
Greatly concerned, the pigtailed soldier walked over and observed Hunter's armor carefully. The holes were cut along the length of Hunter's carapace, and Ranma could tell that the wound had obviously come from a machine gun of some sort that had sprayed across one side of the zergling. But what was odd was that the holes were smaller than the rings that were formed by the dried zergling blood. As if they had gotten much smaller...  
"Fast healer, eh?" Ranma muttered, rubbing his chin. Then he patted Hunter on the back. "You gonna be okay, big guy?"  
Snap! Grind Crrrnch  
Frowning, Ranma looked over to get a better look at just what Hunter was chewing on.  
It looked like a machine gun, except that the tail end had a bunch of bloody wires and cylinders poking out of it that indicated it had once been connected to something larger.  
Bending down, Ranma also noted that there were bits of brown cloth stuck to the wires. "Weird... but, whatever."  
Opting to fix the front door tomorrow, Ranma headed straight to his room while taking off his jacket.  
Opening the door, he immediately stepped to the side as a hail of shuriken cut through the space he had occupied just a moment before.  
Sighing, Ranma dropped his jacket onto the floor and entered his room, cracking his knuckles as he went. "Stupid Ninja..."

The following day...

"Are you sure? He never came out?" Bei grit her teeth, and the grip around her cellular phone tightened such that the plastic case threatened to crack open. "How many Ninja does it take to kill one man?! He doesn't even have a security system!"  
Alexandra shook her head in exasperation as she strode down the hall, her frustrated assistant trailing behind her.  
"Well, is the target dead? Are you sure?! I thought you said you could pull this off!" Listening for a few more moments, the young woman became absolutely livid with anger, and it was all she could to simply turn the phone off rather than throwing it against the wall. "Dammit!"  
Alex sweatdropped and shook her head. "Bei, really, calm down. I understand how frustrating it can be, but you have to allow for setbacks, even in an operation so simple as killing a certain unguarded enemy."  
Bei quickly nodded, taking deep breaths to try and stem her anger. "Yes... of course, Miss Tokima. I'm sorry I let you down again."  
Alex shrugged it off. "I really don't know why you insist on trying to kill that poor sap anyway. He's not part of the DAPC anymore; he won't be any threat to us."  
Bei looked conflicted for a moment, then sighed miserably.  
Alexandra continued walking down the hall toward her destination, wondering what else, if anything, she should say to her assistant. It was nice to see the girl was so loyal, but her recent efforts bordered on wasteful.  
"I heard that Igov returned from his raid in a somewhat melancholy mood," Alex said suddenly, changing the subject.  
Bei blinked, then nodded. "Yes. Not surprising really."  
As Alexandra turned the knob of the door she was entering, she looked back at her assistant with a raised eyebrow. "Oh? Why not?"  
"Well, his new units were somehow destroyed in the field. Worse yet, we're not sure what destroyed them, or how far they got before they were destroyed, so we don't have any reliable data as to the Prometheus' strengths and weaknesses."  
Nodding distractedly, Alex pushed through the door and then turned her head to face forward again. Then she froze, and her eyes widened.  
Bei sweatdropped. "And then, of course, there's his arm."  
Sure enough, Igov Yutchzky sat in the middle of the strategy room, facing away from the door, and sitting on a stool with a deep contemplative look that was tainted only by the fact that his left arm had apparently been ripped off at the elbow. Blood and various other fluids had dried over the torn wires and hoses, though the Russian seemed to be completely ignoring the rather serious-looking wound.  
Lowering her voice, Alex tilted her head toward Bei. "What happened?"  
The shorter woman shrugged helplessly. "Nobody knows, and General Yutchzky just says that he doesn't want to talk about it whenever somebody asks."  
Both women straightened as the Russian heaved a sigh, and then turned around as he stood up.  
"Ah, Miss Alexandra. Is good to see you. Igov has much to discuss." The general was frowning deeply at this, and rubbing his chin with his remaining hand.  
Alex composed herself, and nodded. "Yes, we do. But first allow me to congratulate you on completing your mission objective, despite the losses suffered during your first major operation."  
Igov stared at her expressionlessly. "............ Forgive me. My Japanese still bad. What you say?"  
Alex patiently repeated her statement slowly. "You have done a good job. You accomplished your mission. I'm sorry for your losses."  
Igov frowned again. "Mission objective include capture of technology exposition research projects. The convoy that was sent to capture technology turn back, mostly destroyed. What this then?"  
Bei and Alexandra both blinked in surprise. "What? But the projects have already been set up in your labs for testing! I saw to it myself!" Alex insisted, mildly worried.  
Bei looked at her boss, then at Igov. "Well... if neither of you captured the projects... but they're definitely here... then that means SOMEBODY must have run an alternate operation."  
Alexandra frowned. "Apparently. But who?"  
Creak The slight sound of the door opening pierced the silence that followed the question. The silence was then further battered and cast aside as a quick succession of electronic noises floated into the room.  
Bleep Bleep Ding Bleep Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Ding Ding  
The three present occupants of the room slowly turned their heads toward the entrance.  
Ding Ding Bleep Yoshi Konta strode slowly into the room, his head down, staring in deep concentration at a small plastic screen that was attached to a larger fold-out pad, which he was manipulating with great speed and dexterity. On the back was a long emblem with [Nintento] etched into it.  
Alexandra's left eye began to twitch sporadically.  
Ding Bleep Cho-cho-cho! "Gah!" The diminutive scientist began to panic and pressed the buttons a great deal faster, showing a kind of concern and commitment to action that he had never bothered to put into his work.  
Bleep Bleep Dum dee dum dee dum dum, dee-dum, DUM! Oh, mama mia! "Blast! What idiot came up with the idea of giving turtles wings anyway?! What kind of a hybrid is that?! Annoying little bastards..."  
Alex's eyebrow twitch seemed to spread to her entire left arm. "Konta..."  
Shaking his head in frustration, Yoshi snapped the machine closed and inserted the device into his pocket. "The prototypes are looking good. Lengthened battery life, improved screen size, and it's nice to have a headphone jack again." He turned toward Alex, scratching his chin. "You know, it really is ingenious. They release hit games a decade ago, and then when their devices have more power, they touch up the graphics and release the same items again." He frowned. "You should mention that to Wraith's marketing staff. Just think if we can get people to pay for outdated, cheaply manufactured chemical products!"  
"I have far more important concerns for the moment!" Alex said harshly, gritting her teeth. "And you stride into a meeting you weren't invited to while playing some damn game!"  
Yoshi shrugged. "Well, all this killing and warring is nice and all, but I think that every once in a while it's fun to try doing it through a medium where you don't have to worry about being arrested or shot. All work and no play, and so on." Then he smirked. "And I thought you would appreciate a contribution of intelligence, which is why I invited myself to your informal little get-together."  
"Igov assumes it was you, then, who secured technology shipment?" The Russian asked bluntly, staring expressionlessly at the scientist.  
Yoshi nodded. "Yes. I've also made up blueprints from my own work, so you may do as you please with what I've provided." Then he stopped, and then patted his pocket. "Well, except for this. You don't mind if I keep it, right?"  
Alex knew that Igov wasn't going to dignify such a question with an answer, so she went ahead and asked her own question. "Konta, do you have authorization to go ordering about field operations without letting any of the generals know?"  
Yoshi bent over slightly and made to stifle a laugh. "Oh, come now! Alex, given the apparent results, do you really think a lecture is in order?" He shook his head and smiled. "We have redundant commanders so that we can achieve our objectives despite surprise circumstances! And if we must conform to such laborious bureaucracies as the chain of command, then we lose one of our greatest advantages against the oppressive fascists."  
Before Alex could reply, the diminutive man turned toward Igov. "And on a most likely related note, what the HELL happened to your arm?"  
The general turned away, his expression slightly bitter. "I believe one of your projects that would not be so easily contained is on loose. This is why I prefer machine; has no will of of own."  
Yoshi blinked, honestly confused. "What? One of my projects? Are you sure?"  
Igov waved his remaining hand. "Is of no importance. Never mind."  
"Do you want me to help make you another one?"  
"Would appreciate some assistance. You seem to have flair for such things."  
Sweatdropping, Bei turned toward her boss. "Well, they seem to be getting along better now, huh?" She began to chuckle, and then trailed off weakly as Alexandra frowned.  
"Of course, of course," Yoshi adjusted his glasses, then clasped his hands behind his back. "I'll get to work on it immediately."  
Igov nodded. "We not always get along, but is good to remember we comrades. Igov could come to appreciate your... what is word... 'unconventional' intellect."  
Yoshi smiled brightly. "Ah, well, I do try."  
The Russian general stood up and cracked his neck to either side (which generated a sound quite similar to a wind-up toy being cranked). "Very well, then. Igov should return to dock factories. The first two prototype warship almost complete."  
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Already?"  
Igov nodded. "Was able to acquire many good factory unit for construction. You Japanese have made excellent advances in field of robotics." He grinned. "Mother Russia always so concerned with nuclear technology. Is wasteful, yes?"  
Alexandra, for her part, began to scratch her chin. "Oh, I don't know. Just think of what we could accomplish with a nuclear weapon..."  
Bei sweatdropped heavily, and Yoshi made a discrete gesture that involved twirling his finger around his ear.  
"Is not important," the Russian insisted, "am putting finishing touches on weapons now and adding vital systems. Will have the units ready soon, though larger armament is problematic."  
Alex shrugged helplessly. "Even small ballistic missiles with conventional-detonation warheads are too difficult to obtain, and with how drained our current facilities are simply constructing your prototype guns and the Devastator-class boomers, we don't have the equipment and resources for yet another session of retrofitting, if we can avoid it. We CAN build some, but it will take far more time than you've allowed for."  
Igov shrugged. "Will make do without, then. The power of Vortex submarine will CRUSH the meager Japanese navy!" His remaining hand curled into a clenched fist, and the cyborg grinned as he stalked from the room, leaking a few droplets of various substances from the shredded remains of his lost appendage.

Yoshi hummed to himself as the door closed behind the Russian, and then smiled pleasantly at Alexandra.  
She frowned. "So why are YOU still here?"  
The geneticist blinked. "Don't you remember? I said I had intel to share."  
Alex turned away and started looking over a map on the far wall of the room. "Is it good news?"  
"......" Yoshi didn't say anything for a moment, then took some photos out of his back pocket. "No, not really."  
"Then give it to Bei and leave. I don't need any more trouble from you." The commander snarled, her arms crossed under her breasts.  
Yoshi shrugged and placed the photos in the assistant's outstretched hand.  
He smirked slightly when the girl's eyes widened upon seeing them, and turned away to head out. "Very well. In that case, I'll take my leave of you. Good da-" The diminutive scientist was cut off as somebody suddenly yanked the back of his lab coat and halted him on his way to the door.  
Turning his head, he saw a red-faced Alexandra clutching the pictures that her assistant had practically thrown at her in one hand, and his coat in the other.  
"And where do you think YOU'RE going?" Alex growled through clenched teeth. "What is this?! I want an explanation!"  
Yoshi blinked. "But you told me to leave."  
"AND NOW I'M TELLING YOU TO STAY, YOU LITTLE TOAD!!" She screamed, waving the hand with the pictures in front of his face. "Explain these! Ranma Saotome and Kyle Tekai, assaulting Prometheus mechs?! I thought they were fired!"  
"Well, actually, they were," Yoshi explained, dusting off his coat as he turned around. "But you know, a man with Saotome's abilities is a valuable asset to a commander who would recognize them, and, well, Kyle is the Colonel's son." He shrugged at that. "No big deal, really. That's how your friend Yujikata got in, and his father wasn't even actually part of Core."  
Alex growled as she stared at the photo, taken at an unusual angle, of Ranma lobbing some sort of grenades at the mighty war machine. "Are you telling me THEY destroyed Igov's assault mecha?!"  
"Not by themselves," Yoshi corrected. "Look at the last picture."  
Frowning, Alex did so, and she clenched her teeth again as she caught sight of a trench coat flap peeking out behind a tree (doubtlessly providing cover for the photographer), with the barrel of a huge gun firing off to the side.  
"Well... at least we expected the POSSIBILITY of interference from Shikodan," Alex muttered irritably, tossing those photographs showing the crusader onto the table in the center of the room. "But I will NOT tolerate such interference from those damnable DAPC agents after we took such care to dismantle them!"  
Yoshi rolled his eyes, which did nothing to alleviate Alexandra's fury. "So just have your pet Core soldier kill them, then. Really..."  
"Don't you take that tone with me, you lit-" Alex stopped reprimanding him as something suddenly occurred to her. "Wait a minute! How do you know about Yujikata?"  
"A LOT of people know about Yujikata," Yoshi deadpanned, "including the Catholic fellow. I honestly can't imagine how word hasn't reached his superiors yet. He's not what any would call a competent double-agent."  
Alexandra nodded reluctantly. That was quite true. "Still, I want to know exactly how you came upon this intel!"  
"Ah," Yoshi muttered, chewing on his lower lip, "I'm afraid I can't do that. The more people know about a secret agent, the less secret he is, you know."  
"I'm your commanding officer!" Alexandra yelled, slamming her hand down on the table. "If your 'secret agent' can further the cause of the Freedom's Angels, then you MUST hand his command over to me."  
Yoshi stared at her for a moment, then sighed deeply. "Well, if you insist..."  
Alex smirked and nodded sharply.  
"... Then I'm afraid the answer is still no."  
Thud! Bei sweatdropped as Alex fell over.  
For once, Yoshi's devil-may-care grin was converted into an honest frown. "I have a responsibility to you, Wraith Laboratories, and the Freedom's Angels. However, there are certain resources I cannot afford to compromise so that they will aid you better."  
Alex gripped the edge of the table and hauled her body up, scowling fiercely. "Don't you DARE talk to me like that! You are under MY command, and I COMMAND you to reveal your intelligence resources to me!"  
Yoshi's frown deepened, and he turned his head away sharply, causing both Alex and her assistant to blink in surprise at the gesture.  
"Well, if you're going to be like THAT, then I won't tell you about my new cloning project. Good day!"  
The way the diminutive man walked out of the briefing room in a huff was so ridiculously juvenile, and so fully undignified for a renowned scientist, that neither woman thought to stop him until a few critical moments after he had left.  
"Hey! Wait! You little prick! Get back here!" Alexandra yelled, sprinting after the little man in a manner totally unbefitting of a corporate president.  
Bei sweatdropped as she watched the doors close, then looked back down at the stack of photos.  
Then she picked it up and started leafing through them, before arriving at one picture that had her eyebrow climbing her forehead.  
"Ken Yakata's working in retail? I can't imagine that's working out well."

"Now, before I ring up your purchase of cigarettes," Snake began, holding up the plastic-wrapped box in front of the man before the counter, "I would like to ask if you've ever read the warning on the side of the box? The one about cancer and stuff?"  
The customer frowned. "Yes. So? I'm not worried about that."  
Snake nodded mutely, pursing his lips as he stared at the carton in his hand. "I see." Then he put the carton down on the counter, and reached under the cash register.  
Cha-chak! The customer's eyes widened as Snake cocked an automatic shotgun and leveled it at his chest, and the man froze in absolute terror.  
"Then please consider this: the blast from this 12 gauge Pancor Jackhammer aimed right at your chest would result in an almost painless and instantaneous death, and I would then be arrested and punished for doing such a thing to you." He tipped the barrel down at the cigarette carton. "These cigarettes will inevitably, barring other causes of death such as freak accidents, result in a slow, painful demise by cancer or tar buildup or something, creating an unfair burden upon the government-assisted medical industry that MY tax dollars pay for, that will, ultimately, be unable to adequately extend your life of suffering. In addition, the cretins responsible for the sale and marketing of these items will go unpunished for knowingly selling addictive sticks of poison to you." Seeing that the man still hadn't unfrozen at all, Snake added, "Think about it."  
Rather than thinking about it, the man stumbled backwards, then made a mad dash for the exit, trying his best not to scream.  
Snake smirked as the door closed behind the retreating customer. "Ha! Hey, this job 'aint half bad, eh Tycho?"  
Sssssh Tycho didn't respond, because his head was tilted back under the slushie machine such that the flavored ice flowed straight into his mouth.  
Sssssssssh Gulp "WHOA!! M-M-MEGA B-BRAIN FREEZE!!"

Yujikata calmed himself as he stared his superior in the eyes, and spoke slowly and deliberately, trying not to let his frustration and anger show.  
"Colonel, I KNOW he's your son, but him and that Saotome pri-er-fellow CANNOT be allowed to get away with what they've done!"  
Umezeki Tekai bit his lip as the sergeant went on to list the men's crimes, obviously bored out of his mind.  
"Destruction of military property, unauthorized usage of vehicles, insubordination, failure to obey direct orders-" The man looked like he was about to go on when the door opened behind him, and a feminine voice interrupted his tirade.  
"Not only that, but they destroyed the car they stole, too," Mia said pleasantly, strolling past Yujikata and dropping a file onto Umezeki's desk.  
The blond man smiled at the new arrival. "Hi Mia! How are you feeling? I heard you ran into some trouble last mission."  
She sighed. "Oh, I'm okay. Better than many of my men, anyway. I have funerals to attend tomorrow, and at different times later this month. It really is the worst part of this job." Her somber look slowly cleared up. "But enough of that. We DID win, after all. How have you been?"  
Yujikata seethed slightly as the two Colonels began to exchange pleasantries, acting as if he wasn't in the room presenting a complaint. Ahem! "Colonel, may I-"  
Mia immediately waved off whatever he was going to say, and took a seat on the edge of Umezeki's desk. "I've heard about your complaints about Saotome and Private Tekai, Yujikata. So what are you proposing we do about it?"  
The sergeant frowned. What did she mean by that? If she knew what they had done, the punishment was obvious. "Well, FIRST they need to be court-martialed. Then we can press the proper charges for what they've done. If all goes well, we can have them behind bars in a week." He grinned, expected the superior officers to see the advantage of such a plan.  
Instead, Mia simply nodded absently, then slapped a photo on the desk next to her. "Tell me Sergeant, do you know what that is?"  
The traitor did his best to feign surprise and ignorance as he looked at the image of a Prometheus mech in the picture. "N-No! What is that thing?!"  
Luckily for him, Mia was assuming he didn't, and thus wasn't watching for unusual behavior. "Parts from the scattered machines that we've sent to the labs have revealed several engravings in various compartments that indicate that the mech is called a 'Prometheus'. The engraved instructions and warnings on various components were written in Russian. Meaning that, in all likelihood, they're products of Igov Yutchzky's forces." She looked back at the sergeant a bit lazily. "These war machines exceed the heavy battlefield capability of anything Core possesses. Post-conflict intelligence has informed me that there were **five** of these units attacking a non-military target away from the battlefield at which we were engaged."  
Yujikata frowned again. She made it seem like they had actually managed to take down a few of them. But that was impossible. He had led a majority of their forces to the front with the FA's, and if any of Core's forces or other military units had engaged the Prometheus mecha, he would have heard about it. Of course, he hadn't been contacted by the Freedom's Angels either, so all he had to go on was Core's intelligence for the moment.  
"Colonel, what does this have to do with the two bit-uh, the men that I was talking about?" Yujikata asked, somewhat impatiently.  
The sergeant nearly gnashed his teeth when Mia turned away from him.  
"Umezeki, could you get me a soda please?" She smiled pleasantly at the man as he nodded and reached into the ice chest next to his desk. While she had absolutely no respect for her fellow Colonel as a military leader, Umezeki was simply too friendly and amusing for her to dislike, and she was actually good friends with the man.  
"Root beer okay?"  
"Perfect. Thank you." The brunette popped the cap on the soda and started to chug it down. Meanwhile, Umezeki looked down at the photos.  
"Hey! Kyle's in this one! And his friend Ranma!"  
Yujikata almost gaped, and immediately snatched the pictures away, forgetting himself in the midst of his surprise. "What the hell?! What were those assholes doing... huh? What is this?!"  
Mia frowned at the man as she lowered the soda can from her lips. "Sergeant, please keep your position in mind when you speak. There's no need for absolute formality, but keep it civil."  
The traitorous soldier shook slightly, trying to contain his frustration. 'I have soldiers stealing and destroying stuff, and pictures of them fighting gigantic robots, and SHE'S worried about my language?!'  
Umezeki, somewhat put off that the photo he had was taken, picked up the next one. Then he cocked his head to the side. "That's weird. What's this big black spot in this picture?" The photo showed a nebulous cloud of shadow imposed over a somewhat warped image of a Prometheus. Off to the side was Ranma, who was shielding himself in front of Kyle.  
Mia shrugged. "We're not sure what that is. I'll ask Private Saotome when I speak with him later today."  
Yujikata frowned deeply. "What is all this? What were they doing?"  
The brunette couldn't help but smirk. "While you were doing your best to make a mess of things near the prison, Ranma and Kyle dispatched the Prometheus units by themselves." That wasn't entirely true, of course. She doubted that Kyle had done much except watch, as he seemed far less potent in that sort of situation. Furthermore, she had also come across information about a man in a trench coat fighting the mecha as well. By the time she had organized all the information from the various civilians who had caught glimpses of the battle from where they were hiding, she was sure that Rayden Shikodan had also helped with the mission. But that was a more sensitive issue, and not for Yujikata to be bothered with.  
"Th-They... they destroyed them? Seriously?" He looked up at his busty superior. "But how? When? Are they still alive?"  
Mia decided to answer his last question first. "Yes, they are. In fact, when last I checked they entered headquarters right before I stopped by here." Then she shrugged. "As for how and when, I don't know precisely, but I've collected enough information to know that they did." Then she smiled. "Perhaps you should ask them yourself. Maybe you could learn a thing or two."  
Seeing the man bristle, her expression turned somewhat more serious. "But really, there's no telling how many lives they saved yesterday; as it is the enemy mecha killed several civilians and military personnel, and intelligence indicates that many of them were intercepted before they had even reached their targets."  
Then she smiled again. "In light of this fantastic display of bravery and ability, I'm personally going to withhold any assistance in punishing them for minor infractions."  
Yujikata started trembling again. "Stealing and destroying one of my vehicles is a 'minor infraction'?!" Clenching his hand into fists, he continued. "DESPITE their apparent ability, it's no excuse for such flagrant irresponsibility and contempt for authority!"  
Umezeki blinked. "Sure it is."  
Thump! Yujikata fell onto the carpeted floor face-first, and Mia sweatdropped.  
"Well, as long as it's not MY authority," Umezeki reasoned, shrugging his shoulders. "And besides, right now good soldiers are more important than disciplined soldiers, right? These constant battles with the Freedom's Angels have only gotten worse, and our application rate has dropped as our fatality rates keep rising."  
"B-But, we can't-you c-can't just-w-we have to-!" The sergeant began stuttering before Mia cut him off.  
"I don't **entirely** agree with Colonel Tekai, but for the most part he's right." She smirked at the sergeant. "So if you think that Private Tekai and Saotome have problems with discipline and authority, I'm leaving it up to you to solve them."  
"M-M-ME?!" Yujikata shouted, recoiling.  
Mia expression darkened. "Yes. You. Are you somehow surprised that maintaining basic discipline among the troops is a sergeant's responsibility?"  
The man twitched for a moment, then turned toward Umezeki. "Sir, permission to speak freely?"  
Umezeki thought about it. "... Nah."  
Mia tried to keep from laughing outright as Yujikata glared at him silently.  
The blond Colonel finally rolled his eyes. "All right, all right, fine. Go ahead."  
"I have reason to believe that these two men are receiving special attention because Private Tekai is your son, Colonel," Yujikata said, in as close an approximation to respectful criticism as his voice could manage, "I cannot allow soldiers to get away with this sort of behavior, no matter who they're related to, or who their friends are related to!"  
Mia stared for a moment, then shrugged. "Then DON'T. We didn't say you couldn't punish them, just don't bother us about it." She stood off the desk and stretched, glad that Yujikata was too busy massaging his forehead to ogle her at that moment. "You knew that they used to work for the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment; you should have prepared to make the differences in procedure clear to them."  
"If we KNEW they were going to have discipline problems, WHY did we accept them in the first place?" Yujikata growled.  
Mia smirked. She knew it was primarily favoritism, on both her part and Umezeki's (she always did have a soft spot for heroic types), but she wasn't about to let this dolt know that.  
"Don't be an idiot. They have ten times more experience fighting mutations and robots than everyone in every other military organization in Japan put together. If my influence had stretched far enough, I would have had them all accepted into Core. As it was, we took what we could get."  
Yujikata sulked and was about to protest once again, when Umezeki started chuckling to himself.  
Mia raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"  
Snicker "Oh, I was just thinking, you know, about what you said about Kyle getting special treatment," he pointed at Yujikata, "I mean, didn't YOU get your job because your dad, the senator, blackmailed Remerick?"  
As Mia snorted trying to contain a laugh, Yujikata quietly seethed, now completely regretting ever approaching his superior officers.  
"P-Permission to leave, SIR," the sergeant spat, almost mockingly.  
Umezeki wasn't the type to let a jerk bother him so easily, however, and waved the man out. "Go ahead. You've got work to do."  
The sergeant promptly twisted around and briskly walked toward the office door, shoving it hard as he went.  
Wham! Mia and Umezeki raised their respective eyebrows as the door neglected to give way from direct pressure, causing the sergeant to slam into it face-first.  
"Try the knob," Umezeki supplied helpfully. It was his job to lead his subordinates, after all.  
Openly grating his teeth, Yujikata twisted the doorknob roughly and darted out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

"Well, someone's in a bad mood," Mia surmised, smirking. It was always fun to remind Yujikata of exactly why he was where he was in the ranks, and she had no qualms about simply pissing him off, either.  
Umezeki turned toward his fellow officer. "So, you're seriously not worried about Kyle and his friend? I was serious when I said I didn't care, but, I mean, you actually have to rely upon them..."  
Mia shrugged. "Maybe I should be... but I'm not. If anything, Saotome has proven that he can be relied upon when it comes time to buckle down and get in the fray."  
The blond nodded. "I suppose, yes..." Then he blinked. "What about Kyle?"  
Mia sweatdropped. "Uh... well... Kyle is... uh..." she scratched her head nervously, trying to think of something to say that was vaguely positive-sounding. "Er... well... if... if he keeps following Ranma around, he should be okay," she finally spat out, still sweating a bit.  
The male colonel shrugged. "Eh, I hope so. I was kind of worried when he was transferred to Core. It's not any more dangerous than being in the DAPC, and it's not like he can't fight better than he can do almost anything else, but, well..." he smiled somewhat in embarrassment and knocked on his head, "he's just not all there upstairs, if you know what I mean."  
"Yes. Yes, I know **exactly** what you mean," Mia deadpanned.  
"Oh well," Umezeki said, leaning back in his chair. "Anyway, you seem awfully interested in that Saotome guy. You got plans for him?"  
"Oh, I've got some plans, all right," she said, winking at the other Colonel. "Wink wink, nudge nudge, hm?"  
Umezeki looked surprised. "Fraternization? That doesn't seem like you..." Of course, Mia went on plenty of dates, as attractive as she was, but he had never seen her actively pursuing a man before, especially with such obviously carnal intentions.  
The Colonel smirked and wagged a finger at the blond man. "What? Aren't I entitled to a fling or two?" Then she moved toward the door. "Besides, I DO owe him for saving me back on one of my espionage missions. It would be a... nice way to pay him back, don't you think?"  
The man still looked surprised, though he sighed on the inside. Mia, as an officer, wasn't supposed to be undertaking solo espionage missions, and it was anybody's guess why Remerick allowed it. "So, what, you're really gonna start dating a subordinate?"  
Mia fingered her lip for a moment in thought. "... Well... no, not really. I just thought I'd abuse my power as Saotome's superior to blackmail him and make him into my personal love slave, living only to satisfy my sexual desires, lest he be disgracefully discharged in utter humiliation."  
Umezeki blinked. "............ Oh... Well, good luck with that."  
"Thanks!" Mia smiled and walked out of the office, an extra spring in her step.

"Come ON! Come ON!! EXPLODE, DAMN YOU, EXPLODE!!!" Poke Poke Poke Poke  
Kyle sweatdropped as he zipped up his jacket. "Ranma, seriously, stop jabbing your locker with your finger before you damage it even more." Then, after a moment, he added, "'It' being the locker, not your finger."  
"It's okay, it's not actually my locker," Ranma responded, jabbing the metal box several more times, and adding several more small depressions to the number already covering the face of the door.  
"_Bakusai tenketsu_!! Seriously! _Bakusai tenketsu_!! _Bakusai tenketsu perfect_!! _SUPER bakusai tenketsu_!! Goddamn it, why won't it work?!?!"  
Kyle sighed and rolled his eyes, standing up as he patted down his uniform.  
However, as Ranma continued to yell at the locker in frustration, Kyle's attention was unfocused enough that he heard a knock on the locker room door.  
"Yes!?" Kyle asked loudly.  
"Are you decent?" The person on the other side of the door asked.  
Kyle frowned, and then turned to look at Ranma, whose shouting at the locker had degenerated into outright cursing.  
"Technically!" He shouted.  
Slightly puzzled, Mia opened the door and entered, her puzzlement increasing when she saw Ranma glaring violently at one of the tower lockers that lined one side of the room.  
Kyle stood up and saluted. "Why did you want to meet us here, Ma'am?" He asked, genuinely curious. He hoped he wasn't going to get chewed out for his actions the previous day; even if Kyle didn't care too much about his own career, he knew it would end up causing his father a lot of humiliation.  
Ranma grudgingly followed Kyle's example and saluted, trying to settle his frustration such that he didn't end up bothering the Colonel.  
Mia smiled. "At ease, gentlemen."  
"Awesome!" Kyle said happily, immediately opening the locker behind him, withdrawing a can of beer, and then opening it up. Ranma didn't say anything, instead simply lying down on one of the benches that were mounted next to the wall of lockers and looking up at the ceiling, as if in deep contemplation.  
'Maybe Yujikata was right about their discipline...' Mia said, sweatdropping.  
The Colonel cleared her throat, and both men hesitantly gave her their attention.  
"I've called you here today first to congratulate you on your success in fighting the Prometheus mecha in the engagement yesterday. Though you two defied your commanding officer and were not available to be called upon when Core could have used you, there's no telling how many innocent lives were saved by your actions."  
When she saw the looks of mild surprise that crossed both men's faces, Mia's expression turned more serious, and she crossed her arms under her breasts.  
"However, just note that your opportune acts of heroism are the ONLY thing standing between you and an appropriately severe punishment at the moment." Her eyes narrowed slightly as she looked down at them. "So long as you end up saving countless lives EVERY time you decide to take an unauthorized joyride that ends with you insulting your CO and destroying Core's property, then we won't have any problems." Her expression twisted slightly into a somewhat malicious smirk. "If you don't think you can manage that, well, maybe it'd be better if you toned things down a bit, eh?"  
Both men nodded. "Sure thing." "No problem, Ma'am."  
Mia immediately frowned at their responses, used to getting more fear and nervousness from her lectured subordinates. In her experience, when men responded to her that calmly, it meant that they were either dismissing what she had said, or had spent the entire lecture staring at her cleavage. And she was fairly certain neither man had committed the second offense.  
In truth, both Ranma and Kyle were sincere in their responses; it was just hard to find the brunette intimidating after one had crossed Asuka's path.  
Mia sighed, dismissing it. "Well, if that's settled..." then she trailed off, looking at the locker Ranma had been practicing the breaking point technique on. "What in the... What happened to that thing?" If she remembered correctly, it had been the one that Ranma was glaring at, though she had been preoccupied enough thinking up her lecture that she hadn't noticed the container's state.  
Ranma snorted and jabbed his thumb back at it. "I was just trying to get the locker to explode, that's all."  
Mia sweatdropped. Heavily. "I...... I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that."  
"Fair enough," Kyle responded. "So, is that all?"  
Mia nodded. "Yes. Private Tekai, you're dismissed. You will join unit B-7 on patrol in the industrial sectors uptown."  
Kyle nodded and exited the room, muttering as he went. "I hope they don't expect me to drive... I've already had three of these..."  
Mia twitched as the door closed behind her. "Okay then..."  
Ranma blinked. "Uh... so, what? Did you want to speak to me alone or something?"  
The Colonel rubbed her chin with her right hand, feeling her annoyance melt away as the pigtailed man waited casually for his orders.  
There was just something... different about Ranma, something that set him leagues apart from the men she was used to dealing with. Just being alone in the room with him, she felt an aura of tightly controlled confidence and independence creep over her, telling her that if the man before him was to do what she said, it would be by his whim, and his whim alone. It was actually making her somewhat nervous, a sensation that she had never felt when facing down any man.  
Finally, she smiled at him. "Saotome, you're going to spend the day with me. I have some... things to show you."  
Ranma blinked, then grimaced slightly. 'Well, THAT could mean anything.' "Uh, sure. So, what's first?"  
Not noticing the change in expression, Mia winked at him and then walked toward the locker room's exit. "Wait in front of the women's locker room for a bit, okay? I'll tell you when it's safe to come in." With a mysterious smile, she pushed the door open and walked into the hall.  
'Oh-kay... that's a BIG ol' red flag right there...' Ranma sighed and walked toward the exit after her.

Mizu sighed and snatched the can of beer out of Kyle's hand, resisting the urge to massage her head. With the protect-gear's heavy armored gauntlets, it wouldn't have helped anyway. "All right, FINE. I'll drive. But from this point forward, you're not allowed to consume alcohol on duty!"  
Kyle blinked. "Huh? Why?"  
The raven-haired soldier planted her hands on her hips, glad that she wasn't wearing her helmet at the time so that she could properly glare at him. "Because when you're on duty, we need you sober at all times!"  
Kyle blinked again. "At ALL times? Even on Wednesdays and Fridays?!"  
Mizu, baffled as she was by the statement, couldn't begin to comprehend by the blond man looked so distressed as she puzzled out his question. "Of course! Why would the day make any difference?"  
"But... why?" Kyle asked, wringing his hands.  
A vein popped up on Mizu's head. "What are you, some kind of idiot?!"  
"That's beside the point," Kyle muttered, frowning. "So, seriously, why do I have to be sober all the time?"  
"Because when you're drunk, your judgment is compromised!" She explained none too gently. How did Ranma put up with this guy?  
Kyle fingered his chin, considering this. "What if I could provide witnesses that all swear that my judgment is always bad?"  
There was an audible snapping noise as Mizu's patience broke, and she suddenly stepped forward and started pushing Kyle in the direction of the locker room. "Oh, just shut up and put on your protect-gear! Move it! And don't waste my time with your stupid questions!"

Despite a few half-hearted protests from Kyle, Mizu eventually managed to shove him into the hall leading to the men's locker room, and the blond soldier sulked his way past Ranma as the pigtailed man exited into the hall.  
Immediately noticing her close friend, Mizu was about to greet him, when she noticed that he was following Colonel Tokima down the hall as the brunette walked toward the women's locker room. This was sufficiently odd and suspicious that she froze and hesitated in her greeting.  
When Mia entered the locker room, and Ranma turned and leaned back on the wall right next to the entrance to that same room, her suspicion rose to yellow-alert levels, and her eyes narrowed.  
"Oh! Hey Mizu! What's up?" Ranma smiled and waved to the woman across the hall.  
Mizu drew herself up (not that it made much of a difference in the bulky battle armor) and walked forward calmly, determined not to jump to conclusions. "Hi Ranma. What did Colonel Tokima want?"  
Ranma shrugged. "She said she wanted to show me something, that's all. I'm supposed to spend the rest of my shift with her."  
Mizu's eyes narrowed. "Oh really? She wanted to... show you something? Did she mention anything specifically?" 'All systems at orange alert! Subject has been ordered to spend better part of day with gorgeous woman with unclear intentions! Proceed with caution!'  
Ranma scratched his head. "Nope. Why? Do you know what she's talking about?"  
Mizu frowned deeply. She knew Ranma well enough to know when he was lying, and he wasn't. She also knew him well enough that the man wouldn't recognize a woman was coming on to him unless she openly declared she was in love with him. Not just because he was dense in that way, but also because it was the type of romantic conduct he was most used to. "Maybe..." Then something else occurred to her. "Well, why would she pull you out of patrol to spend the day with her? You don't know her, right?"  
"Oh, sure I do!" Ranma said, smiling. "I met her back when I was with the DAPC! We were on a mission at that hotel that Snake burned down, and I saved her from a carrier mutant!"  
'RED ALERT!! RED ALERT!! RED ALERT!!' Mizu bigsweated, and then latched onto Ranma's arm. "S-Say! You know, I could really use another guy for my patrol today, and it'd really help if I had someone along who's used to Tekai, you know? I'm sure the Colonel would understand! We ARE short-handed nowadays, you know?"  
Ranma frowned, considering it, then shook his head. "Normally I'd be all for it, but she already let me and Kyle off the hook for stealing the car and wrecking it. I think I should do what she says for today."  
Mizu immediately adopted a look of extreme panic, and was about to stutter out an excuse when a voice rang out from within the women's locker room.  
"All right! Come on in!"  
Ranma nodded to himself. "Well, looks like she's ready. See ya later Mizu." With those departing words, he turned and entered through the door next to him, though he braced himself for an assault as he went.

Mizu, meanwhile, stood gaping in the hallway, her face looking somewhat pale. "But... I... y-you..." shaking her head and swallowing deeply, she began to creep over toward the locker room door, when she heard the door from the other locker room open, accompanied by heavy footsteps.  
"All right, I'm ready." Kyle frowned as he stared at the helmet in his hands. "Man, these things look creepy, huh? Why can't they at least shape the mask like a smiley face or something? Spruce it up a bit, you know?"  
Mizu sweatdropped heavily, and then continued creeping toward the door to the women's locker room. "Uh... just hold on a sec, okay? I need to check on something first."  
Kyle raised an eyebrow as Mizu crouched and carefully pressed her ear up against the entrance to the locker room. He was somewhat concerned for whoever she was spying on, but mostly he found himself amused at the sight of someone in protect-gear trying to act stealthy.  
"And what the HELL is this?!"  
Mizu squeaked and jerked upright, wincing at the noise of her own foot slamming down onto the tile floor as she steadied herself. "S-S-Sergeant! I, uh, I was just, um, I-I mean-!"  
Yujikata dismissed the stuttering woman and glared at Kyle. "And just what are you doing here? You're supposed to be out on patrol, asshole."  
Kyle didn't allow the insult to faze him, and pointed at the panting woman beside him. "I thought so too, but all of a sudden Kotetsu wants to stay."  
Mizu gulped, but was again ignored, much to her relief.  
"I don't GIVE A DAMN what Kotetsu wants," the sergeant growled, trying unsuccessfully to stare down the armored blond, "**I'M** in charge here, and **I** told you to get your sorry ass on out there."  
Again, if Kyle even noticed he was being insulted, he didn't show it. "I would, but I need to go with her. I think I'm over the legal blood alcohol level to drive."  
"You're over the-" Yujikata paused as he slowly worked his way through what he had been told. "Huh?"  
"N-Never mind! We're going right now! Sorry to trouble you Sergeant!" Mizu quickly grabbed Kyle's arm and yanked the man down the hall toward the garage, moving at a speed that Yujikata wouldn't have expected from someone in her armor even if unburdened.  
"Hmph." Snorting, the traitorous soldier shoved the door to the men's locker room open and stepped inside.  
"Wha-What the HELL happened to my locker?!"

Ranma's eyes widened a bit and he froze as he got a good look at what Mia was wearing. "Whoa..."  
The brunette smiled and hugged her arms under her chest. "How do like it?"  
He stared for a moment longer, then nodded. "It looks good! What is it, though?"  
Mia grinned and patted down the skin-hugging bodysuit that covered all but her neck and head. The suit was a dark gray, with thin wires running all along it in seemingly random patterns, zig-zagging about at 90 degree angles or stretching straight over the curves of Mia's body. Around her wrists, the Colonel wore black armlets that seemed to have electronic inputs built into them. The locker room had only dim lighting at the moment, and as he looked at her, Ranma realized that the suit was noticeably darker than it should have been, as if it was trying to blend into the shadows right in front of him.  
"This is our new prototype commando armor, the Manta armor," she said proudly, planting her fists on her hips as she stood tall, inviting spectators (or in this case, the spectator) to look over every inch of her body. "It was designed as a sibling enhancement unit to Core's protect-gear. While the combat armor you're familiar with emphasizes protection and power at the cost of significant mobility, the Manta gear offers advanced technological enhancements that improve mobility and stealth, while still offering some degree of protection from small-arms fire."  
Mia sat down on one of the benches and slapped a hand onto her arm. "The Manta feeds low-level electric pulses to key areas on the body in time with the heartbeat in order to stimulate the body's reflexes and agility through these wires here. Other inputs throughout the suit also aid in clotting blood and preventing shock when wounded." She tapped the armlet on her left wrist. "The armband screen here is keyed to be a communications device, as well as a computer input for breaking electronic locks. The front part right behind the hand has retractable gripping claws for scaling walls, and each band has a small retractable blade on the side for hand-to-hand combat."  
Then she stood up again and turned around, allowing Ranma a full view of her back. "The armor is woven from a new polymer membrane similar to Kevlar, but because of the sensitivity required for the electronics within the suit, it couldn't be made thick enough to stop most bullets. But it's strong enough to keep basic 9mm rounds from piercing the body, and it'll help you survive anything bigger." She noticed that Ranma was glancing up at the lights and seemed to be about to ask a question. "The polymer is constructed so that it absorbs light easily, to improve its stealth capabilities."  
"Ah," the martial artist scratched his head. "Wow. That's pretty cool. So am I gonna get one of those, or what?"  
Mia smiled at him. "Eventually, sure. For now we only have the one, though, and I don't think it would fit you very well."  
They shared a chuckle at that, and Mia turned back around. "Because you spent enough time with the DAPC, I assumed you had experience with experimental technologies."  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. I was using a rail gun for a while, but then it started having problems, and Snake had to send it back. Too bad, really. It was kind of cool." He then started counting off on his fingers. "The plasma charges he wanted me to test out exploded as soon as they were armed and nearly killed me, the laser rifle never worked at all, and when he got that crazy new tank I ended up having to destroy it when his slightly-more-evil clone went on a rampage downtown."  
The Colonel sweatdropped. "My... you really do have lots of experience with experimental technology, then. Mostly bad, I see."  
Ranma shrugged. "Well, the rail gun and the tank worked fine, at least at first. It's not all that bad."  
Mia cleared her throat, then smirked and crossed her arms. "Well, since this is experimental technology, would you care to help me 'experiment'?"  
The pigtailed man blinked in surprise. "Uh... okay. Sure."

"This is Private Mizu Kotetsu reporting to base. We've just discovered an unidentified body in an alleyway off of Kenmei Street. Numerous puncture wounds and what appears to be bite marks. We need forensics down here pronto."  
Mizu sighed as she placed the microphone back on the hook in the car, and then turned back toward the alleyway, where Kyle was observing the body via the universally respected medical procedure of poking it with stick he found.  
"Well, damn. Don't usually come across dead bodies without anything around to account for it. This is police work, not military stuff." Mizu stopped her grumbling as she realized that the blond man wasn't listening, and fumed silently to herself.  
'I REALLY hope Ranma and Colonel Tokima aren't... well, I mean, they wouldn't... at least, Ranma wouldn't! Right? He's not that type of guy! I should know! I mean, **I'm** the one who would always-'  
Her thoughts were interrupted as her dimwitted companion called out to her.  
"Hey Kotetsu! There's something weird about this corpse!"  
Mizu barely resisted the urge to massage her head; she was still wearing her protect-gear without the helmet, after all. "YES, I KNOW. Bite marks around the neck and head, holes in the torso and skull, and parts seem to have been gnawed off. Just lay off and let the forensics guys get here and do their jobs, all right?"  
Kyle frowned, then shook his head. "No, that's not what I'm talking about." He poked the body hard in the shoulder with his stick. "Check it out. When I poke this guy, his body sort of writhes around a bit."  
Mizu froze, her eyes wide. "Wh-Wh-WHAT?!"  
Looking thoughtful, Kyle stood up, backed away a step, and then kicked the dead body solidly in the side, sending it hard into the wall of the alley.  
"TEKAI!! What the hell are you doing?!" Mizu demanded, her face red.  
He rolled his eyes. "Oh, would you calm down? I used to do this sort of thing all the time, remember?" Then he pointed to the body, which was almost jumping as the head jerked violently back and forth. "See? Check it out. The movement's not coming from the neck; there's something inside there."  
Before Mizu could pose any incredulous questions, however, the subject of Kyle's investigation squeezed out of the hole in the corpse's skull and hissed at the intruders, quite upset at having its meal disturbed.  
"What the HELL is that?!" The raven-haired soldier shrieked, jerking back at the sight of a worm snarling at her through an oversized head full of sharp, jagged teeth. In a split second her training took over, and her arm whipped back to seize her autorifle.  
Crunch! Not that she needed it, as Kyle simply stepped forward onto the vile creature, crushing it firmly against the concrete under his heavy boot.  
"Phooey. It's just another one of those stupid worm things." He frowned and turned away from the body, where he saw Mizu gaping at him. "We can take off now. For some reason there's never more than one of them around."  
Mizu finally managed to force herself to take regular breaths again, and turned toward her partner as he began to scrape gore and flesh from the sole of his boot onto the edge of the sidewalk. "So... uh... w-was that a mutant?"  
Kyle stopped scraping, and looked thoughtful. "Possibly, but probably not. FAs use mutants, and they usually have more flair than this. I'm thinking it's an alien, personally." He shrugged as he moved to step into the car. "No big deal. Its race will probably be down here in a few months or so, either to figure out what happened to all its scouts, or to feed on the entire human race. And then we'll strike back and exterminate the invasion force in a colossal battle that leaves all of Tokyo in ruin. You know, same old, same old."  
Mizu blinked. "That's happened before?"  
Kyle blinked back, then frowned. "Yeah, I think so... that, or I'm confusing reality with Gall Force again. Either way though, I'm going to start carrying a can of Raid around with me from now on."  
The raven-haired soldier sweatdropped. Though given the current manner of affairs, she couldn't really find reason to disagree.

"Wow, I'm impressed," Ranma said brightly, hand on his legs as he sat down on the hardwood floor.  
Mia raised her head up slowly from where she knelt, panting lightly. "Impressed, huh?"  
Ranma blinked. "Well, uh... yeah." Then he slapped a hand onto the back of his head. "I mean, you blocked that high jab pretty well! And the counter came way faster than I expected!"  
Mia twitched and stood up a bit shakily, trying to keep her form. "It wasn't a high jab, you punched me in the stomach! It was a clean hit! And the counter-punch didn't even touch you!"  
"Well, yeah, I mean, I still managed to dodge, but it was still good. And I **did** throw a high jab! You blocked it solid!" Ranma protested.  
"That was no jab! That was a feint!" Mia growled.  
"Okay, fine, it was. But that's pretty good too, to tell it was a feint at that speed... I mean, in hindsight..." Ranma noted that the Colonel was glaring openly at him. 'Yeesh. Girl can't take a compliment.'  
Mia sighed and walked away, idly punching one of the sandbags that hung down from the ceiling of the training area. "Well, it figures. That's why you're the martial arts expert." 'A fat lot of good this overpriced leotard did me, too.' Really, the suit HAD enhanced her abilities noticeably, but it didn't prove enough to bring her to Ranma's level. 'I guess I have a ways to go before I can start pummeling maulers with my fists...'  
Ranma stretched his arms over his head as he stood up. "So, you wanna pull out the wrists blades and try it again?"  
Mia sweatdropped. 'He WOULD offer to let me use potentially lethal weapons... is he trying to act so condescending, or is it just ego?' She shook her head. "No, I think we're done here." She began to stretch herself, then moved to put on a jacket. "Follow me to the vault downstairs next. I think you'll find the full tour... very interesting."

Ranma scratched his head as he followed his superior officer out of the training room and down the hall. "Downstairs? But Core HQ is only one story high... right? Even if it's not, we're on the ground floor right now."  
Mia merely nodded and kept walking down the hall.  
Frowning, Ranma kept following her. "So, is there a basement, or what? And why would we have a vault? This is a military base, not a bank."  
The brunette giggled. "Oh, don't worry yourself big boy. Just follow the leader, okay?"  
Sweatdropping at the manner of address, Ranma followed the older woman to a small brown door along the hallway that sat between two briefing halls. As she opened it, Ranma blinked in surprise as he noted the long staircase that descended behind the doorway.  
"Huh? What is this? I thought this door led to a broom closet or something."  
"Most people make that assumption," Mia said smugly, descending the stairs and gesturing for her companion to follow. "In the event of an enemy incursion, they'll be less likely to notice this passageway, and once they do, they'll have to contend with defenses down here that they're likely not prepared for. Hopefully, these measures will give whatever national forces remain enough time to launch a counterstrike and take back HQ. Hopefully."  
Ranma scratched his head as they reached the bottom of the stairs, which had an unreasonably complicated-looking computer display set up in front of what appeared to be a rickety wooden wall. "So, what's down here, exactly, that you need all this security? Nuclear bombs?"  
Mia frowned as she began entering a complex code into the computer. "Well, no." Then she stuck her face down onto a chin rest sitting atop the computer, and hidden sensors scanned her eyes for optical recognition. "It's not really a bomb at all."  
Grrrrrrn!  
Ranma masked his surprise at the statement well, and turned quickly as a heavy grinding noise came from the wooden wall.  
After a moment, it was apparent that the wooden barrier was merely camouflage, as a nearly imperceptible seam split apart, revealing that behind the wooden layer were thick metal doors that protected the underground facility.  
Ranma stared as he followed Mia through the doors and into the area beyond. Everywhere he looked there were complex-looking computers and platforms with machines on them. Ammo belts and casings were scattered across most of the floor, along with oil spills, and plastic cones that said [Warning! Wet, and possibly radioactive, floor!]. Most interesting of all, however, was that beyond the main area that was bustling with scientists, there was a large hall with several large units sitting around to be worked on. One of which he recognized immediately.  
"Hey! It's the Firestorm tank!" Ranma quickly pointed out the powerful war machine and jogged up to it, startling a few scientists who hadn't been expecting visitors.  
Mia gave the men reassuring looks, then walked up behind Ranma. "Not quite. It's **a** Firestorm tank, but not the one that somehow fell into the DAPCs hands."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow as he looked it over. "Ah. So they made more than one of 'em..." Then he scratched his head. "Actually, the armor on this one looks a lot different, now that I get a good look at it."  
The Colonel shrugged. "The armor had to be replaced with a lower-cost substitute in order to be considered cost-effective. Despite the apparent success of the 'true' Firestorm back when Snake... or, I mean, the CLONE of... well, you know what I mean." She flushed slightly in embarrassment. That whole incident had been quite horrifying, disastrous, and rather confusing. "Anyway, at this point, the numerous innovations for the machine require too much maintenance and have too high a failure rate, so it's quite likely we'll have to scrap the entire design."  
Ranma nodded in understanding, then began looking around the rest of the hall. "Wow, is that another rail gun?"  
"It's a prototype improvement over the rail gun, actually. Still flawed, but more reliable than the weapon you were familiar with. It's called a Gauss rifle."  
"Wow. Why do you have all this stuff down here, anyway?" The pigtailed man asked, looking over an electronic visor that was on a stand next to the rifle.  
Mia smirked. "Core HQ is the single most well-defended structure in all of Japan. As the industrial sectors began to experience more activity among the terrorist networks, we decided it wasn't a good idea to have our scientists testing and storing cutting-edge technology right where it could be easily leaked and stolen." She waved a hand out down the hall, where flashes of light appeared periodically. "This underground facility acts as a storage and testing facility for the most lethal weapons of the modern age! With this arsenal, even if the entire city were to fall, Core will be able to remain on the offensive; as a last resort, many of these experimental technologies are kept at a minimal level of readiness in case they need to be used, for whatever reason."  
Ranma nodded absently. "Sounds good. Where are the grenades that go 'boink'?"  
The Colonel sweatdropped. "What?"  
"You know, those little metal cylinders that... uh..." Ranma tried to gesture with his hands as to their general shape. "You know, they collapse into a... a... neutral single... larity... and... uhm..." Seeing Mia's "what the hell is wrong with you?" expression, Ranma chuckled nervously and slapped the back of his head. "Ah... never mind."  
Then he turned toward a cordoned-off section of the hall. "Hey, what's the green stuff?"  
The Colonel turned to see where Ranma was looking, and then she grimaced. "That's one of the more... controversial stockpiles that are being held for possible weapons use."  
Ranma nodded absently, staring at the large metal tower that stood alone in the hallway, an eerie green glow coming from its single viewing window.  
"I personally don't approve of secretly stockpiling biochemical weapons, but apparently our government found a source of low-cost, yet deadly toxic weaponry being produced by a research facility somewhere, and it was easier to try and find a use for it than having it lying around a less secure location."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow as he peeked through the viewing window. "Uh huh. Right." Then he turned toward the brunette. "Research facility my ass. This came from the Tendo Dojo, huh?"  
Mia jerked back, startled. "Wh-What? How... How did you-?"  
He shrugged it off. "I'd know Akane's attempt at alfredo sauce anywhere."  
The Colonel managed to calm her surprise quickly enough. "You know Akane Tendo? She's one of the most lethal biochemists in the field!"  
Ranma snorted. "The hell she is. Just because someone buys plastic-sealed lead containers rather than tupperware doesn't make her a scientist." He stared more critically into the sealed container. "Huh. Usually she tries to make meatballs with that sauce."  
Despite her surprise, Mia managed to respond quickly. "She, uh, she did. They attacked one of our scientists and had to be put down."  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Good call."  
Mia turned away from the storage tower and looked back toward the tank, her hands clasped behind her back. "Saotome, I'm sure you must be wondering why I brought you here and showed you all this."  
"Not really, no. I don't care at all," Ranma said bluntly, trying to get a good angle through the viewing glass in front of him to see the rest of the "food". "Hey, she tried to make lasagna again! I thought there was a federal order restricting her after what happened the first time!"  
A vein popped up on Mia's head. 'Geez, what is WITH this guy?' "Well, regardless, it's crucial that I inform you. Information of this level cannot be disclosed to just anyone."  
Ranma blinked, then turned away from the biochemical container. "Wait, you mean all this stuff is classified?"  
Mia nodded, still looking away from him. "Highly classified. If I didn't personally feel that you were completely trustworthy, I wouldn't even think of showing you any of this."  
'Classified, huh? I'll have to mention that when I tell the guys about all this stuff,' Ranma thought to himself.  
Then the Colonel turned back toward him, grinning. "I also wouldn't have told you this if I wasn't planning on making you part of our elite special ops team."  
Ranma blinked. "Huh? What's that?"  
"It's Core's sabotage, espionage, and recon team. I've headed the division and taken part in several of its missions for a long time now. We take on special missions with defined objectives that require stealth and quick thinking rather than heavy guns and armor padding. Things like target painting, planting charges, rescue missions, that sort of thing."  
"Ah," Ranma muttered, scratching his head. "And you want me to do that?"  
Mia nodded. "Let's face it Saotome; your skills are wasted out on the front lines. Tromping about in protect-gear while spraying bullets with all the other grunts is below you. I've seen what you're capable of, and you're the perfect man for the job."  
Ranma continued to consider it. "What about Kyle?"  
"Oh, him?" Mia said, smiling brightly. "Tekai has all the skill and wit of rice pudding. I wouldn't even have thought of it if you hadn't brought it up."  
Ranma sweatdropped. He couldn't really argue against that.  
"So welcome to the team, Ranma!" Mia said brightly, clapping him on the shoulder.  
The martial artist looked up in thought for a moment, then shook his head. "Eh... no thanks."  
Thud! Mia fell straight down onto the floor. "Wh-Wh-What? What are you talking about?!"  
Ranma shrugged apologetically. "The whole 'elite forces' thing... well, I'd rather not. Seems like a lot of work, you know? I think I'd rather stick to tromping about spraying bullets." Ranma turned around and strode toward the exit. "Besides, if I don't look out for Kyle, who knows how long he'll last? Gotta watch his back. But thanks again for the offer!"

Without waiting around for the Colonel to get her bearings, Ranma walked through the entry vault and jogged up the stairs, eager to find Kyle and get back on patrol.  
"Guess I should change into that armor first..." while he didn't relish the idea of wearing the protect-gear, he admitted that he was somewhat curious as to what it was like.  
Entering the locker room, Ranma grimaced as he saw Yujikata standing in the middle, wearing his own protect-gear minus helmet.  
'Great. Last time I ran into this dork we almost fought, and then I insulted him over the radio in a stolen car. Now this is gonna be all awkward.'  
As if to confirm Ranma's severely underestimated worries, Yujikata grinned and pounded a fist into the palm of his other armored glove.  
"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. All alone, and unarmored to boot. You got balls, scumwad, I'll give ya that."  
"Hi Sarge," Ranma said, attempting to be nonchalant as he took off his jacket and tossed it onto a bench next to the other man's discarded jacket. Then he turned toward his locker.  
"Hey, I'm talking to you, prick!"  
Ranma sighed as he rummaged through his locker. "Yeah, I know. I'm listening. What is it?"  
Whomp!  
Ranma jerked his head to the side as Yujikata punched straight at his head, instead smashing his armored fist into the gear within the locker.  
Backing away, the Sergeant grinned as Ranma turned around. "Hope you got some action with the Colonel today son, 'cause after I'm done with you, you're not gonna have the constitution to screw a woman!"  
Ranma blinked. "What? What are you talking about?"  
"Colonel bitch said I had to punish you myself," Yujikata explained, clenching his hands into fists. "Time for a spanking, pussy boy!"  
Ranma sweatdropped. "'Pussy boy'?" Then he stepped quickly to the right, allowing Yujikata to sink his fist deeply into a nearby locker. "Is that the best taunt you can come up with? C'mon, put some thought into it!"  
The sergeant growled, and then launched his other fist. "SHUT UP!!"  
Whang! Ranma jumped up, and then deflected off the tower locker as Yujikata ruined its door with his fist.  
Landing behind the petty officer (pun possibly intended), Ranma wagged a finger in the air condescendingly. "Now really, I think that, considering our last encounter, I'd be more of a 'smartass' or 'funny little man'. Of course, that's just if you can't think of something actually clever."  
Ranma ducked under a backhand, then leaned back onto one of the lockers, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Granted, you don't know me that well, so you probably don't have much material to work with, but let's think this through, here."  
Blocking a right hook, Ranma took hold of Yujikata's arm and then swung him to the side, throwing him into the middle of the room lightly enough that the sergeant didn't completely lose his footing.  
"Now, for example, you could make fun of what I said about you the other day. Something like 'village idiot?! I've seen better lines at Disneyland!'"  
Yujikata swayed slightly, then shook his head hard, gritting his teeth in anger. 'What the hell is wrong with this armor? I should be strong enough to smash this guy into paste!'  
"Or maybe, since I was in the DAPC, you could say something like 'is that your face, or did a vamp clamp onto your head and die?'" Ranma offered, nodding to himself.  
The sergeant's entire body shook, and he whirled around to face the source of his ire. "SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH OR I'LL RIP OFF THAT SISSY LITTLE PIGTAIL AND STUFF IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!"  
Ranma blinked. Then he smiled. "THERE YOU GO!! Now THAT was a decent taunt! I'm properly offended now! Good night!"  
Yujikata stopped, and blinked. "Huh? What're you-" Thwack! Wham!  
The roundhouse kick came so swiftly and without warning that the man never saw it, even after it struck him in the side of the head and sent him crashing hard into the wall that was devoid of lockers.  
Ranma snorted and shook his head as he lowered his leg. "Idiot. If he was going to rely on the armor to protect him, why didn't he wear the helmet too?"  
The pigtailed man frowned at his locker, then looked down at his watch. "Huh. Looks like Kyle's shift is almost over. I guess I'll just catch him on his way back."  
Closing his locker and picking up the jacket on the nearby bench, Ranma walked toward the exit, stepping gingerly over Yujikata's comatose body. "Guess that's another mark against me, even though he started it... man, I hate office politics." Grumbling sourly to himself, Ranma left the room to look for his friend.

Meanwhile, across town, another former police officer was suffering the lash of authority, and sighed wearily as the lecture she was given stretched into its twelfth minute.  
"The danger of terrorist invasion aside, NOT that I want to have to deal with workman's comp and lawsuits from you wandering off and hurting yourself, you CAN'T leave your post in the middle of your shift!" The manager of the general mall area said condescendingly, arms crossed over his chest.  
"You're absolutely right, sir," Asuka muttered wearily. 'You imbecile. Like I'm going to worry about workplace rules when the city is being assaulted.'  
"Our customers expect a certain level of service and assurance from my employees! What if a car had been stolen while you were out gallivanting about on the street."  
"My apologies, sir. Won't happen again." 'Unless I see gunmen and mecha parading down the street in mobs. Safe cars won't be much good to dead customers.'  
"Honestly, what were you thinking? Going out into the city with terrorists tearing up the place... awful!"  
"Yes, it was very scary. I should have stayed at my post." 'I've killed things with my bare hands that would have you pissing yourself, you moron! You think you're so hot because you manage this run-down mall? Trying managing a gun squad, nitwit!'  
"This kind of irresponsibility will not be tolerated! If you MUST save the city from enemy war machines, do it on your break! Do I make myself clear?"  
'Yes sir, completely clear sir!' "Dumbass. Some things are more important than your damn parking garage."  
When Asuka saw the man gape at her, she bit back another curse. 'Oops. I thought what I should have said, and said what I should have just thought.' "Uh, I meant that with all due respect, sir," Asuka tried, sweatdropping before the manager's furious expression.  
"Get out of here! YOU'RE FIRED!!"

"Oh, hi Ranma!" Mizu said enthusiastically, stomping past Kyle quickly so that she could reach her good friend.  
Ranma sweatdropped as the armored hulk approached him, a familiar greeting coming out of the mask in a scrambled, unidentified mess. "Uh... who...?"  
Smacking herself in the side of her helmet for her foolishness, Mizu chuckled as she began to remove her helmet. "Sorry about that. Sometimes you forget that other people can't see your face when you're wearing this thing." She looked around hopefully. "So, uhm, what did the Colonel want?"  
Ranma shrugged. "Eh, something about a promotion to be a spy and superweapons being under the base or whatever. I don't really remember." He peeked around Mizu's armor and spied another armored hulk walking carefully into the hall. "Hey, is that Kyle?"  
Mizu nodded slowly. "Uh, yeah... what was that about superweapons?"  
"Can't tell ya. The weapons facility below the base is supposed to be a secret, you know. Especially the biochemical weapons that are made by my ex-fiancee. All highly classified." Then the pigtailed man frowned. "Hey Kyle, what's with all the Raid?"  
"Gotta stockpile bug killing stuff," Kyle explained, walking past his companion toward the locker room. "Worm invasion might come soon. Gotta be ready."  
Ranma blinked. "You mean the worms with all the teeth?"  
Kyle nodded, and then pushed his way into the locker room, preparing to distribute the canisters of spray to all the lockers.  
"You know about those?" Mizu asked, one surprise momentarily overriding another.  
"Sort of," Ranma said, scratching his head. "Damn things keep popping up outta nowhere. Don't know where they're from. They're man-eaters though, so it's good to kill 'em on sight."  
"Ah... yeah..." The soldier shook her head to clear it, then recalled her initial train of thought. "So... the Colonel wanted to promote you? That's all?"  
Ranma nodded. "Didn't take it though. Someone's gotta watch out for you and Kyle, you know?" He gave her a thumbs up, and the raven-haired woman found herself blushing.  
'He gave up a promotion... so he could be in the field with me?' Okay, there had been mention of Kyle in there too, but with a small mental tweak, it was easy to filter that part out.  
Mizu smiled. "Well, in that case... would you like to go out for dinner tonight?"  
Ranma looked surprised. "Uh... no, sorry, no go."  
"Why not?" Mizu made an effort not to look as devastated as she felt. 'Does he really want to keep things platonic between us?'  
"It's just some stuff I've got to do with Kyle, that's all. And then I have to fix my door and punish my pet for breaking it. Both of which will take the better part of the evening and require heavy machinery."  
"Oh... okay. How about tomorrow? We both have the day off, barring an enemy attack."  
Ranma smiled brightly. "Sure! Tomorrow's good!"  
Then the pigtailed man turned as Kyle emerged from the locker room, wearing his street clothes plus his Core jacket. "I'm ready. Go time?"  
Ranma grinned and nodded.  
"Uh, is something going on that I should be aware of?" Mizu asked suspiciously.  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Nope. Actually, I'd appreciate it if you were less aware of it. Sergeant has it in for me as it is, you know?"  
"I can see that," Kyle said wryly. "How long ago did you beat him up? He's still out cold."  
"Not too long ago," Ranma murmured, walking over to the garage with the blond man in tow. "We should do this quick though, just in case. His head seemed pretty thick to me."

Mizu sweatdropped heavily as the two other soldiers exited the hall for the garage.  
Then she sighed. "Why is it that everyone who works for the DAPC is either a loon or turns into a loon? Yeesh. Men."

Ranma peeked around the concrete pillar toward the red BMW at the end of the line of vehicles, near the outside entrance. "You're sure that's it? I don't want us messing this up."  
Kyle nodded. "I'm sure that's Yujikata's ride. You see any other import cars around?"  
Ranma frowned. "Uh...... There's that one over there, in the back," he said, pointing at a brown convertible.  
"Whatever. My point is, let's set it on fire."  
Then the blond man bit his lip. "Problem is, there's a security cam over there. I know we didn't bother to hide when we took the patrol car, but we probably shouldn't get on Colonel Tokima's bad side."  
Ranma sighed and turned around to lean on the pillar. "Well, then how are we going to do this?"  
Kyle looked frustrated as he scratched his head. "Curses! If only we had... you know... some kind of means to turn invisible, if only for a short time!"  
"..............." Ranma held his silence for a long moment, then looked up at the blond soldier. "Hey Kyle, can I ask you something?"  
"Eh? What?"  
Ranma bit his lower lip as he considered how best to phrase his question. "If you knew of a technique that would help you perform a petty, childish prank, but you had sworn, on your honor as a martial artist, to seal it away and never use it again, would you use it?"  
Kyle blinked, not having expected anything like that. "On your honor? As a martial artist?"  
Ranma nodded.  
"And you're considering violating that for a petty, childish prank?"  
Ranma chuckled weakly. "Eh heh... well... yeah."  
Kyle shrugged. "Well, obviously, it depends on the prank."  
Ranma's expression darkened. "THIS one, dimwit."  
"Oh, well, in that case, sure!"  
Ranma nodded to himself and then turned away. "Okay then. I'll take care of this. Give me the gasoline."  
The blond man handed over the can, his expression curious.  
Ranma turned back toward the target vehicle, recalling skills long sealed away in his memory. "Oh, and if anyone asks, I did NOT turn to you for moral guidance, right?"  
"Gotcha."  
"Right. Here goes nothing." And with that, Ranma vanished, gas can and all.

Junko shook her head as she scooped another spoon of ice cream into her mouth, looking sympathetic. "Hey, hey, don't take it so hard. That guy had it coming, you know? Besides, that job was nothing to you, anyway. Who cares if you got fired as a security guard?"  
"That's not the POINT," Asuka growled, massaging her head. "I don't have a job. I have a house and bills and an empty refrigerator. Getting fired like that from such a worthless position is going to look HORRIBLE during any future interviews! I might as well go out and start begging on a street corner right now!"  
As Junko patted her former captain's shoulders, Sakura waved over to Snake, who was in his usual position behind the convenience store counter next to Tycho, who was typing away busily on a laptop computer.  
"Hey, can we get some chocolate fudge ice cream over here?"  
"Screw the fudge!" Asuka shouted, banging a fist onto the table sitting in the middle of the store. "Bring me something with alcohol in it!"  
"Yes ma'am!" Snake said, snatching up a beer and jumping over the counter to bring it to the table.  
Asuka snatched the bottle out of Snake's hand as soon as it was within arm's reach, and bit off the cap without hesitation. "Thanks." After taking a long drink, she sighed and slammed the bottle down. "And what a way to go, too. Bad mark against me for leaving my post, and then I insult the damn manager to his face. That was some real good thinking, there."  
Snake nodded somberly. "Well, if it's any consolation, my life's great!" He grinned, planting his fists on his hips. "I sold the body armor I looted from HQ, and got enough cash to buy a new home speaker system! Plus, one of the customers I scared away dropped his credit card on the way out! Me and Tycho have been buying stuff on the internet nonstop ever since!"  
The driver snickered. "After we landed this sweet notebook comp, that is!"  
The women all sweatdropped.  
"Well that's just frigging great," Asuka murmured, "now shut up and let me get back to feeling sorry for myself."  
"Would a new computer help?" Tycho asked, waving the credit card in the air. "I think we've got just enough left on this thing to hook you up."  
Asuka frowned. Then she sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, actually, that would help a lot. Here, let me help you find a good one..."  
Sakura sweatropped as the blue-haired woman left for the front counter, and then she turned toward Snake. "You sold our old body armor? To who?"  
Snake blinked, then chuckled. "Heh heh! Funny story! This guy hooks me up with some buyers who're interested in the goods, and arranges a meeting, right? Get this: I go to the meeting, and it turns out the buyers are Freedom's Angels! Ha! So, technically, I didn't 'sell' the body armor, persay."  
Junko waited for him to continue, and then blinked when the man turned around and began to leave for the register. "Hey, wait! What happened?"  
Snake turned around, confused. "What happened to what?"  
"What happened to the terrorists?" Sakura clarified. "You said you didn't sell them the armor, right?"  
Snake raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. I shot them all, took their money, and kept the armor. What did you think I did?"  
Junko rolled her eyes. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'd just held some hope that there was a vestige of mercy and humanity left within you, and that you could escape the situation without killing anyone."  
"Snort Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Snake burst out laughing, then stopped when he noticed Junko's expression. "Oh, wait. You're serious. Let me laugh even harder. BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!"  
Turning away in exasperation, Junko turned toward the least vocal of the former officers that night. "Hey Tiro, you never told us where you got a job."  
Tiro snapped out of his daydreaming and shook his head in confusion. "Wha-What are you asking me?"  
Junko frowned. "Where'd you get a job? I mean, you DID find a job, didn't you?"  
He nodded silently. "Yeah, I did. But... it's not the kind of thing I'm proud of, you know? I'd rather just not talk about it."  
The redhead nodded slowly, then smiled. "Wanna go make out?"  
Tiro blinked, then actually considered it, much to Junko's shock.  
"Uh......... Nah. Not tonight." He caught the woman's surprised look, and then shrugged. "I'm trying to nail this chick at work, actually. Gotta stay strictly single for now, you know?"

Sakura ignored the largely random conversations around her, and let her mind wander. 'Even though we're not a team anymore, everyone still sticks together... it's so great to have friends!' Then she frowned. 'I wonder what Ranma and Kyle are up to though?' She thought on that for a few moments, then shook her head. 'I guess they're beyond our little group now. They're Core soldiers. The best of the best. They'll stay out of trouble.'

Ranma and Kyle whistled in unison as they walked down the street, hands in their pockets, sweating profusely. And although their perspiration wasn't due to heat, it was still quite related to the brightly blazing flames that danced atop Core headquarters. If anyone had bothered to make note of them, they would have immediately concluded that the two had set the fire that currently dominated pedestrians' attentions, and probably several other local disturbances as well.  
"Well... I guess they DO explode when lit on fire," Kyle muttered, making sure to keep his voice low.  
"I had no idea it would go up so FAST," Ranma said, swallowing nervously. "It's a good thing the internal sprinkler system worked so well, at least. It's only spreading on the outside. And I doubt anyone got hurt."  
Kyle nodded quickly. "Yes, yes. Quite. As far as hideous accidents go, this really isn't that bad."  
"No, not at all. Simple mistake."  
"A somewhat harmless prank, gone horribly wrong! Not that bad at all!"  
"Right!"  
"Of course!"  
"...................................."  
"...................................."  
The two walked alongside each other in silence, and then Ranma turned toward Kyle. "Hey, you remembered to check out ahead of time, right? So officially, you weren't in HQ?"  
Kyle nodded. "Yup. Just like you told me."  
"Good. You know, just in case."  
"Oh, sure. Right."  
"...................................."  
"...................................."  
"Okay, look, I'm going to start running now."  
"I'll join you."

End Chapter 15

Author's notes: You thought I was actually going to do a lemon?! Ha ha ha!! Serves you perverts right! 


	16. And, uh the Storm

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Instead of a disclaimer, I'd like to issue an apology to all three of the people who read the last chapter of Guardian and believed the phony lemon warning. I'm truly sorry. Sorry you're all such saps! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  
Shout out to Leroy Loke, who, after half an eternity of E-mailing me with ideas, finally got me to use one!

Guardian  
Chapter 16  
And, uh... the Storm

Tiro wiped some of the sweat off his brow, and let the grass clippers fall to the dirt below him.  
"It really figures she'd only have plants that have thorns... yeesh." Sighing, he began to stretch his back, breathing deeply of the morning air.  
Then he picked up the clippers again. "Man, grunt work sucks." Then he felt a certain sensation in the back of his mind, and he grinned. "But you gotta love the work environment."  
Listening carefully for the sounds of footsteps, the ex-police officer positioned himself behind a tall hedge, waiting for his target to get within range.  
'Target confirmed! ETA... six seconds! All primary functions are green! Secondaries are go! Target locked! Initiating hit cycle!'  
As if on a carefully prepared timer, Tiro jolted forward from behind the hedge, walking across the adjacent footpath just quickly enough for his target to stub her toe on his heel, sending her reeling forward in surprise.  
A quick rotation, and Tiro's target fell into his arms, her relatively light weight settling easily into his carefully braced support.  
"Oh! Bei! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there!"  
The young insurgent blinked rapidly, attempting to overcome her surprise at having tripped. The sensation of a hand lightly grasping one of her breasts snapped her mind from its panicked haze, and the young woman let out a growl before jumping out of Tiro's protective embrace.  
Tiro blinked. "You're welcome." Slap! "Ow..."  
Bei took several deep breaths as she massaged her hand, trying to keep from attacking the man further. "Would. You. STOP DOING THAT?!"  
"Doing what?" Tiro asked, looking as innocent as he could. Which wasn't particularly innocent at all.  
"Never mind! Just... get away from me!" Bei turned around in a huff, only to have her antagonizer simply step in front of her.  
"Now, now, I just wanted to talk a little, you know?" Tiro grinned.  
Bei's eyes narrowed. "Talk? Really..."  
Suddenly, the young terrorist jumped forward and ripped open Tiro's jacket. "All right, where's the wire?! I swear to God, if you're taking this job just to spy on us..."  
Tiro chuckled as Bei began to feel over his chest. "Hey, would it help if I took off my shirt, too?" Slap! "Ow..."  
The young woman snorted and pulled away from him. "Forget it. If you're not helping our enemy, then we have nothing to talk about, anyway."  
"Aw, c'mon!" Tiro protested, following Be as she attempted to leave. "I'm just the gardener! I'm not here to spy on you!"  
Bei grit her teeth. "You're an ex-cop!"  
"Emphasis on 'ex'," Tiro remarked, smirking. "So, whaddya say? Can I take you out to lunch?"  
"You can drop dead," Bei murured sourly.  
"After I take you out to lunch?" Tiro asked hopefully.  
"Would you knock it off?!" The terrorist girl shouted. "I am NOT going to go out with you! Hell, if you weren't a favored relative of Miss Tokima, I promise you, I would have shot you in the head myself!"  
Tiro blinked. "But... I AM a relative of Miss Tokima... so how about that date?"  
"AAAARGH!!" Bei almost fell to the ground as she clutched the sides of her head.  
Tiro took this as a good sign, and pressed forward as his victim's defenses weakened.  
"Come on now! Think of it as an opportunity to 'convert' me! Heh heh heh..."  
Bei rounded on him, obviously furious. "The Freedom's Angels, the group that will bring PROSPERITY and STRENGTH to the new world, does NOT need idiots like you in its ranks!"  
Tiro just smirked. "Last I checked, the idiots like me totally crushed the idiots like you during that scuffle in Tokyo Bay. Oho! Burn!"  
Bei turned around as Tiro pumped an arm up and down in the air in victory. 'I will not kill him. I will not kill him. I will not kill him... he is an annoyance, not an obstacle. A pest, not an enemy. Just... Just think of him as another Yoshi Konta, except he doesn't do anything for us besides keeping the bushes trimmed...'  
"Hmm? Bei, is something wrong?"  
Bei jerked to attention as Alexandra approached, and quickly attempted to gather her wits. "Uh, Miss Tokima! Er, no! No! Nothing's wrong!"  
Tiro smirked. "We were just talking about having dinner later, that's all."  
Bei grimaced. "And I was just informing Mr. Yamazaki that I am FAR too busy with our usual array of liberation operations to bother with-"  
"Oh, that's quite all right," Alexandra interrupted, smiling pleasantly. "Of course you can take the day off, Bei!"  
A look of growing horror appeared on the young woman's face. "N-No! Miss Tokima! You need my help!"  
"Don't be silly," Alex assured her, ignorant of the way her cousin was grinning victoriously, "really, you don't get enough time to relax as it is. You could use some stress relief!"  
"Time alone with that pervert is NOT stress relief!!" Bei cried, only to be ignored as Alex turned toward her cousin.  
"Now Tiro, I want you to take good care of Bei today, all right?"  
Grin. "I'll take VERY good care of her."  
Alexandra nodded. "Excellent. Just make sure that while you're out today, you avoid government buildings and large commercial areas where crowds of people may gather. For your own safety."  
"Roger!" Tiro said happily, oblivious to the implications.  
"And when you're trimming the vines on the outer fences, make sure to be careful of the hidden tripwires, or-"  
"Or I'll activate the mines and automated defense turrets and get blown away. Yeah, I remember," Tiro assured her, nodding. "By the way, thanks again for giving me this job, Alex."  
The murderous general smirked. "Well, you ARE family; it was the least I could do. I'll bet that prissy little sell-out Mia didn't provide any offers."  
Tiro chuckled slightly and rubbed the back of his head. "Well, no, but in all fairness, she lives in an apartment so that she can be close to the base. She doesn't really have any need for servants."  
Alexandra shrugged. "Whatever. Just make sure to do a good job and be careful not to get killed." Then she turned to Bei and smiled broadly. "Please Bei, just relax and enjoy yourself for once! And be sure to show my cousin a good time!"  
Bei felt a wave of freezing cold shoot down her spine as the shapely terrorist winked at her. "M-Miss Tokima! Please! Can't I take a triple shift at guard duty instead?! Or maybe I could be a subject for the new mutant experiments! Or I can volunteer for a suicide mission! ANYTHING!!"  
Alex simply waved the smaller girl off as she began to leave. "Not now! I have to make an important phone call before we prepare for the attack this afternoon!" Frowning slightly to forestall any further interruptions, Alexandra withdrew a cellular phone from her pocket and began dialing as she walked away.

Tiro tried unsuccessfully to contain a snicker as his cousin left, and immediately put his arm around the young woman's shoulders. "Oh well! Why don't we start things off with tea first, and see where things go from there?"  
C-click! Bei's eyes narrowed as she pressed the barrel of her .45 caliber pistol into the soft flesh behind Tiro's jaw.  
"I swear to God Yamazaki, if you don't get your hands off me RIGHT NOW-"  
The former police officer didn't flinch. "Oh, come on now! We both know that if there's one thing you're NOT willing to do, it's disappoint my cuz. Why don't you lighten up a bit and just accept a free meal and full-body massage?"  
Bei twitched. "You're right... I can't kill you, can I? But as long as I don't kill you..." Her frown disappearing, the young woman withdrew her gun slightly and then lowered its aim until it pointed solidly at Tiro's groin area.  
She smiled as she saw his eyes widen. "So, Mr. Yamazaki, exactly how far are you willing to go to get into a girl's pants?"  
Droplets of sweat began to pour down Tiro's forehead. "I, uh, think you just found the line yourself."  
"I thought so," Bei said humorlessly. "Arm?"  
Fast as lighting, Tiro pulled his arm back to his side, where he stood rigidly at attention.  
Calmly wiping off her arm as if some distasteful substance had been ground into her jacket, the young terrorist turned away from her tormentor. "Now, if I recall correctly, I believe you have a job to do."  
"Uh, yes ma'am! Right away ma'am!"  
Bei snorted as Tiro retreated past the wall of hedges that surrounded Alex's estate. "What an idiot. I can't believe Miss Tokima actually hired him. I mean, he was a cop just a few days ago!"  
As she left for the mansion, she thought over her last statement and chastised herself. "What am I thinking? Of course Miss Tokima has measures installed to keep us safe from espionage! She wouldn't be so stupid as to keep a known threat in the area without precautions!" Shaking her head at her own stupidity, the young terrorist hurried back to the estate to change. Just because she wasn't going to take her superior's cousin out didn't mean she had to waste a day off, after all.  
It so happens that as she entered the mansion, she held the door open for a moment such that two of her fellow freedom fighters could pass through behind her.

"Okay, so how are we going to keep the internal military forces from wiping out the unit? We're right in their own bay!"  
The burly-looking man shrugged as he looked over the plans he was holding. "Some kind of nutty weapon that the Russian guy came up with, I think."  
His female companion blinked. "You mean that cyborg guy?"  
The man nodded. "That's the one." Then he shuddered. "Man, that weirdo gives me the creeps."  
The woman smiled. "Oh, I don't know. I think that metal eyepatch getup is kind of cute!"  
"You have frightening taste."  
"Oh, go shove it!"  
Approaching a stone bench near the hedge barrier, the male terrorist rolled up the large piece of paper that detailed the Freedom's Angels' mission.  
"Well, now that I'm done with this, I don't suppose there's any problem with leaving it out here where anyone inside the security perimeter could snatch it up and easily escape with it!"  
As he laid the plans down on the bench, his companion frowned. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea..."  
The man grinned. "Relax! Only someone who's already inside the perimeter could get these plans, right? And everybody inside the perimeter is on our side!"  
The woman shook her head. "I'm not so sure... General Tokima said to be careful around her new gardener."  
He blinked. "New gardener?"  
"Yeah. Remember? She brought it up at our briefing this morning?"  
The man responded with a perfectly blank stare. "Uhm........."  
The woman's eyes narrowed. "You spent the entire briefing staring at her breasts again, didn't you? No wonder you needed a copy of the attack plans!"  
"So what?!" The man protested, following his companion as she stomped off toward the estate, "It's not as if my not listening will bring about the failure of the mission or anything! There's no chance of that happening! Uh-uh! No chance at all!"

Ranma hummed to himself as he walked down the street toward his favorite diner, feeling quite high in spirits. He was off duty, had much of his signing bonus still in cash, and his home was once again complete.  
Things weren't perfect, of course. Disciplining Hunter had gotten a little dicey, and his leg still felt quite sore from the stitches he had made the previous night. Many would have chosen to go to the emergency room after such an encounter, but Ranma, besides being rather used to severe physical damage, didn't relish the idea of trying to explain what kind of animal sliced up his leg so badly.  
"Let's see now... Mizu said she wanted to meet at that one place in the mall for lunch... is it two blocks down?" Seeing how he had the whole day off, he had arranged to spend more of the day with Mizu than she had originally planned for. Not that she had any kind of objections about it.  
Ding-ding-ding-ding!  
Ranma blinked. "Huh? What's that?"  
Ding-ding-ding-ding!  
Looking behind himself down the street and then peering down the alley failed to yield the source of the rather irritating noise, and Ranma scratched his head in confusion.  
Ding-ding-ding-ding!  
Unable to find any kind of device close to him on the ground that might have emitted such a sound, Ranma began to pat himself down, determining that the only possible source he had not yet checked had to be on his own body.  
Ding-ding-ding-ding! His suspicion was confirmed when he found a small plastic rectangle on the inside of the jacket that had been given to him by Core.  
"Duh! It's my cell phone!" Ranma said to himself, a bit embarrassed that it took him so long to figure out.  
Then he blinked again. "Wait... I don't own a cell phone..."  
Ding-ding-ding-ding!  
Frowning at the mysterious device, the pigtailed man flipped it open and tagged the big green button at the top. Then he put it to his ear.  
"Yo, who is it?"  
Relax Goda, it's me.  
Ranma scratched the back of his head. 'Goda? Who's that?' "Uh... 'me' who?"  
The was an impatient grunt on the other end of the line. **Alexandra**, you twit.  
Ranma squeezed one eye shut in thought, and remained silent for a moment. "............ Nope. Not ringing a bell. Got a last name?"  
TOKIMA!! The voice snapped.  
Ranma's eyes widened in realization. "OH! I remember now! The terrorist boss lady!"  
Yes, the "terrorist boss lady". Are you done playing around now?  
The pigtailed man frowned deeply. "So what do you want?"  
Listen to me, the attack will take place in less than an hour. I need you to make every effort to steer Core's forces away from Tokyo International Airport so that our forces can take it without any trouble, and prevent the military from using it to dispatch any aircraft after our initial attacks. You have to prevent aerial threats to the Vortex as best you can.  
Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Oh yeah? Why should I?"  
Because I PAY you, fool! Was the quite irritated reply.  
Ranma blinked. "You do? Since when?"  
There was an strangled cry of anguish from the other end of the phone, and he waited patiently until Alex finished a quick string of largely unintelligible profanities.  
Look, I KNOW the last shipments have been late, and I... didn't make it to our meeting the other day, but we are in a WAR. The government has been doubling its efforts to root out our informants and break our information networks; it's not going to be as easy for us to make contact anymore.  
"Who cares?" Ranma asked bluntly, feeling rather confused by Alexandra's excuses.  
YOU will, if you don't follow instructions! You can only play both sides for so long, Yujikata; sooner or later, you're going to have to make an enemy. Pray that you still have someone to call friend at that point. Click!

Ranma's eyes widened in realization as the phone went dead from the other end.  
'Yujikata? But... how did...? Of course! After he attacked me in the locker room I must've taken his jacket by accident!'  
After certain confusions were cleared, Ranma's brain allowed itself to comprehend the full ramifications of what he'd been told.  
"Aw geez! The Sergeant's a traitor!" Anger quickly replaced surprise, and the plastic case of the cellular phone began to split apart as Ranma's grip tightened. "That bastard! He's toying with the lives of all those soldiers for some terrorist bribe! I'm gonna tear that jerk limb from limb!!" Crunch! Bits of plastic scattered all over the sidewalk as the mobile phone finally succumbed to the pressure forced upon it, and Ranma heedlessly threw the rest of the remains to the ground as he turned.  
Absolutely livid with rage, he began to stomp off in the direction of Core headquarters when another thought hit him.  
"Whoa... wait... I've gotta be smart about this... I can't just walk in there and kick his ass. **I'll** be the one arrested!"  
Scratching his head, the pigtailed soldier tried to kickstart his brain to think of a less direct plan.  
"This is too complicated... do they even have a procedure for reporting treason?" Frowning deeply, Ranma tried to recall all he had learned during his experience as a police officer and the little he remembered from his orientation as a soldier. The results, predictably, were less than satisfactory.  
"Damn! I've got nothing. I guess I should have paid attention when they talked about... uh...... well, I guess I should have just paid more attention." He said irritably.  
"Paid attention to what?"  
"Gyah!" Ranma barely resisted the urge to jump up into the air, and immediately whirled around to face the newcomer. "Mizu! What are you doing here?"  
Mizu sweatdroppped. "Uh... I'm meeting you for lunch."  
Ranma blinked. "You are?" A moment passed as his mind attempted to put aside the current emergency and recall any such meeting. It failed. "Hmmm... are you sure?"  
A second sweatdrop rolled down her head. "Uhm... well, if you forgot, then what are you doing here?"  
Ranma thought about this for a moment, then nodded. "Touche... anyway, that's not important now! Listen to me!"

One rushed, yet quite thorough, backstory explanation later...

"... So in just a little bit, the Freedom's Angels are going to begin their attack, and that double-crossing creep is going to be in command! At the very least, he's going to try and keep us away from anywhere we might do any good, and at worst-"  
"I know Ranma, I know. Calm down, please." Mizu placed a hand on Ranma's shoulder to try and keep him from doing anything rash. "Now you're sure about this? That Yujikata's a traitor?"  
Ranma took several deep breaths, somewhat embarrassed. "Well, yeah! I mean, one of their leaders just called me up and told me!" Then he frowned. "You... believe me, don't you?"  
Mizu nodded, though it was a bit more slowly than Ranma had expected. "I believe you're sure he's a traitor, and I believe you're not making this up, but there may be other explanations." Seeing her friend's distressed look, she continued quickly. "Look, you're probably right, and even if you're wrong, we still have to report this immediately. Now do we have any proof?"  
Ranma sighed. "No. Not really. I guess it's just his word against mine."  
Mizu nodded thoughtfully. "Well, Yujikata's word isn't worth much, so that should be enough to keep him off-duty and get an investigation launched." Then something occurred to her. "Wait! What about the cell phone? It's hardly solid proof, but it's something!"  
Ranma blinked, then bashfully pointed to a pile of plastic shards on the sidewalk behind him.  
The raven-haired soldier sweatdropped. "Well, scratch that idea." Then her expression turned more serious. "We can work on proving the Sergeant's guilt later, though. For now, I think we have to warn HQ that an attack is imminent."  
"I'm pretty sure they've figured that out by now," Ranma reasoned.  
Mizu blinked. "What? What makes you think that?"  
In response, he pointed at something behind and above his companion. "Well, that big column of smoke above the bay has been rising for about three minutes now. I mean, give them SOME credit."  
Turning around quickly, Mizu gaped as she beheld a distant, but very prominent, tower of black smoke rising into the clouds above the ocean. Then she turned back to Ranma, glaring at him.  
"You moron! Why didn't you tell me about that when you first saw it?!"  
"What difference does it make?" Ranma asked, scratching his head, "They had to have known about it by the time I saw it, if not sooner, right?"  
"That's not the point!" Mizu growled, "We have to get going! If the city is under attack, we have to deploy immediately!"  
Ranma looked alarmed. "What?! But, but you can't! Yujikata! He'll-"  
"Don't worry about Yujikata," Mizu assured him gently. "As soon as I bring it up, he should be removed from active duty, at least. But HQ needs to know that the FAs view the airport as a vital and sensitive target, for whatever reason. Plus, they'll need us to fight too."  
Ranma shook his head. "No! Mizu, you can't! What if it's already too late?! That bastard could be out right now leading all our troops into a death trap! And what if he's not the only one? It's too dangerous!"  
Mizu frowned deeply and crossed her arms over her chest. "Dangerous is part of the job, Ranma. You knew that long before you signed up."  
"Idiot!" Ranma yelled, gritting his teeth, "I'm not worried about me! I'm worried about you! You can handle yourself fine in a fair fight, but if someone nails you in the back, it's over! I can't let you go!"  
The raven-haired woman jerked back slightly, and blushed a bit as she responded. "It doesn't matter! Even if we could be walking into a trap, it's our duty!"  
Ignoring Ranma's continued protests, Mizu turned around somewhat rigidly and took a long look at the black smoke rising into the distant sky.  
"Of course the attack has to come on my day off... Sigh I wish I had thought to stop for doughnuts or something this morning... Come on, Ranma!"  
"Doughnuts."  
Mizu blinked, and then turned around, realizing that Ranma wasn't following. "Ranma! Hurry up! We have to go!"  
Ranma stared ahead blankly, as if all his concentration was engaged elsewhere. "Doughnuts."  
"Huh?" Mizu cocked her head to one side. "Ranma, I know you're probably very hungry, but there's no time!"  
He looked down, as if in deep, contemplative thought. "Doughnuts? Doughnuts........." Then his eyes widened and his head snapped up. "DOUGHNUTS!!!"  
Mizu jumped back at his shout. "Wh-What's wrong? Are you THAT hungry?"  
Instead of answering in any kind of rational way, Ranma suddenly ran forward and nearly crushed Mizu's spine with a gleeful, powerful hug. "DOUGHNUTS!! Mizu, you're a genius!"  
Before she could catch her breath well enough to inquire as to how the mention of breakfast pastries had earned her such praise, Ranma had dropped her onto her feet and had taken off at a powerful sprint. In the opposite direction of Core HQ.  
"Gasp! R-Ranma! Wait! Come back! Where are you... going?" She uttered the last word weakly as Ranma disappeared into the sparse crowds along the sidewalks, who were either rushing for shelter or pointing at the billowing black pillar in the distance.  
"Damn it Ranma... why now?" Feeling a powerful wave of dread overcome her, Mizu turned toward Core headquarters and started jogging. She had a job to do, and she would be damned if she was going to let a double-crossing Sergeant keep her from her duty.

"Have we received any transmission from the oil platform, Colonel?" General Remerick asked as he quickly scanned the satellite photos that he had been given.  
"Not since the first two reporting the explosions on the lower levels. Given what we've seen from the satellite recon, I believe all personnel have either evacuated on the life rafts or are dead or trapped," Mia mused, an intense expression on her face.  
Remerick remained silent for a few moments as he looked over the photos. "How many squads are ready to deploy?"  
"All of the soldiers on active duty are suited up in heavy combat gear and ready for deployment, General. Those on call are either suiting up or still arriving." She finished her report, then cleared her throat. "Sir, while I appreciate the need to be on alert, I question the need to call those soldiers not on duty. After all, in a simple case of sabotage, there won't be any need to deploy more than a few squads at most to escort the rescue teams."  
Remerick raised an eyebrow. "Sabotage?"  
Mia nodded slowly. "Yes, sir... I mean, it couldn't have been a capture with the suddenness and report of massive explosions. And the two reports before communications were lost said the detonations occurred below the water line, which rules out bombardment."  
The American began to rub his chin thoughtfully. "Does it?"  
"Well... it does make sense. Ever since the security was tightened again on the platform, placing charges anywhere but on the supports and thermal core would be nigh impossible."  
"We tried to make it nigh impossible to place the charges there, too," Remerick mused, still staring intently at the photos. "We have underwater sensors set up in a twenty-meter radius to prevent sabotage divers from approaching, and the heat the thermal core down there generates could kill someone in close proximity with just forty seconds of full exposure."  
"'**Could**', sir." Mia said, raising an eyebrow.  
He raised his eyebrow back. She sighed.  
"Sir, we know that no matter what measures we take, there will always be a way around them; either the FAs got lucky, or they were simply willing to expend an enormous amount of resources for this operation."  
Remerick nodded, much to Mia's frustration; the man was obviously considering something that she hadn't thought of, and she wished he'd come out and tell her about it.  
"The Freedom's Angels HAVE claimed responsibility for the attack?"  
"Yes, General. Along with the usual nonsense about a rain of fire devastating our cities, wiping out the oppressive overlords, blah blah blah. I think there was mention of locusts, too. Why?"  
Remerick shook his head. "I don't think the platform was destroyed using timed or remote explosives. The FAs have ALWAYS made it a point to demonstrate strength over stealth and cunning; despite being an outnumbered and outgunned guerilla army, they attack in force with armor and war tactics, create advanced biological weapons to back up their soldiers, and produce robotic destroyers to fight our best soldiers head-on. Yet now they resort to placing explosive devices on valuable targets and detonating them from a safe distance?"  
Mia sweatdropped. Some of what the General said made sense, but she still didn't see a change from flamboyant and wasteful to stealthy and cunning to be much of a stretch. "What exactly are you proposing, sir?"  
Remerick pointed to two of the photographs. "Two separate explosions, one severely damaging the substructure of the platform, and the second striking the thermal core and generating a chain reaction that largely destroyed the remaining superstructure. Why two separate detonations?"  
Mia shrugged. "Why not?" She blushed somewhat sheepishly as her superior glared at her.  
"TRY to take this a little more seriously, would you?" He sighed and sat down, steepling his fingers under his chin. "If they were planted bombs, there's no reason they wouldn't be detonated at once, or for only the thermal core to be bombed. No, I suspect they were bombarded from under the water."  
Mia blinked. "So... they built some guided torpedoes and launched them at the platform?" It made sense.  
"Think bigger," Remerick muttered. "They wouldn't build a weapon without a good, intimidating weapons platform."  
The Colonel stared at him for a moment, and then her eyes widened. "What?! You think those fools built a submarine?!" She shouted incredulously. "They can't even get the hang of their hand grenades!"  
"The terrorists can't," Remerick corrected, "but their new friend Yutchzky is a whole other story. You yourself showed me the images of titanic mecha roaming the main streets of Tokyo."  
Mia started to rub her head anxiously. This was not going well. "Sir, are you sure about this?"  
"No," he admitted as Umezeki Tekai entered the room from behind him, "but my being wrong can only be good news."  
Then he turned toward the airheaded Colonel who was waiting at attention behind him. "Colonel Tekai, inform our naval reserve forces that there's a possible threat in the main area of Tokyo Bay. I want our destroyers loaded with anti-submarine munitions and sweeps of the bay performed."  
Umezeki blinked. "Uh... we have anti-submarine munitions?" As Japan didn't have a regular army for international conflict, it did seem pretty unusual to keep such things around. Even since a small naval force had been commissioned to guard the oil platforms, they still hadn't expected to deal with anything along the lines of an attack sub.  
The General sighed. "I'm sure the Admiral will do the best he can. Advise him that there's a possibility that the target is a heavily armed combat vessel. We can't assume it's second-rate equipment and let our guard down."  
"Right. Whatever you say, sir." As he left mumbled some half-hearted complaints about him never knowing what was going and not being told about important meetings until they were already under way.  
Mia was about to offer more criticism of Remerick's speculations when a petty officer strode hastily into the room, saluted her, and then rushed up to whisper in her ear.  
Remerick took general notice of the man, but said nothing as he continued to peruse the photos. "There has to be something else the Angels have planned. Whether they actually have a sub or not. There's no way they'd settle for blowing up the platform." His face darkened. "Especially when the DA destroyed the other one." It was true. The crime of destroying a vital piece of financial infrastructure hardly seemed as heinous when good-intentioned police officers did the same thing through the course of completing their mission.  
Mia's head snapped toward her superior officer as her own subordinate finished reporting. "Sir! We've received some intelligence that indicates the FAs are intending to capture Tokyo International Airport!"  
Remerick raised an eyebrow as he looked up. "How reliable is this information?"  
The Colonel bit her lip anxiously. "It's a bit iffy, sir. Third hand info; apparently the man who heard it originally hasn't reached HQ yet. But it's the only lead we have, and it's better to protect a decoy target than stand around doing nothing."  
Remerick smiled. "Well then, what are still doing here?"  
Mia smiled back. "I'll give the order immediately, sir. We're going to make those bastards pay for this."

"A submarine, out here? Is Remerick off his rocker?!"  
The destroyer's captain sighed as the Admiral finished reading the report he had been handed. "Sir, regardless of what the General THINKS is out there, we have a definite possibility of a armed, mobile threat. What are your orders?"  
The Admiral rolled his eyes. "Anti-submarine munitions... bah!" Then he turned toward his Vice Admiral. "Inform all ships to begin heavy sonar sweeps around the remains of the platform. We'll oversee the salvage and rescue operation and escort the-"  
"Sir! We have a communication from the Yamato! They have a sonar lock on a large craft approaching from forty degrees north off our starboard bow!"  
After the technician finished his report, the Captain turned toward the Admiral, and noted that he had a completely blank look on his face.  
"Uh... that means it's ahead and to the right, sir." 'I guess it's been a while since he's been on an active ship.'  
"Of course! I knew that!" the Admiral shouted gruffly. "Can we get any identification on the craft?"  
The Captain coughed into his hand to get his superior's attention. "Well, as we have a preliminary sonar reading, but not a visual, I can only ASSUME it's a submerged vessel of some type."  
"Sir! The Yamato has twin sonar pings bearing straight for them at high speed! It's a torpedo launch! They're beginning evasive maneuvers!"  
The Captain twitched. "You know what? I'm just going to go ahead and say there's a sub out there. You can hold out for more evidence yourself if you want." Without waiting for the Admiral's command, he turned toward his communications officer. "Tell the Yamato to relay its sonar readings to the rest of the fleet; we have to keep this thing here for as long as possible!"  
The Admiral grit his teeth and then sighed. "Of course that stupid foreigner would be right... leave it to an American to think like a terrorist..." Then he, too, turned to the communications officer. "Notify the air force! We have a submerged threat within Tokyo Bay! I want helicopters fitted with torpedo armaments and dispatched immediately!"  
"Yes, sir!"

Whupwhupwhupwhupwhupwhup!  
Ranma looked up momentarily, and blinked as he saw a few news helicopters flying past overhead.  
It seemed rather odd that civilian copters were flying such a tight formation, but Ranma was hardly the type to notice such things, and immediately went back to sorting through the rubble he was standing on.  
"Geez, did they even notice that someone dropped a car in here when they start filling it up?" Ranma groused, kicking some rocks away from the bent fender that was sticking up out of the debris.  
After digging most of the rocks out from over the rear of the vehicle, Ranma was pleased to see that the patrol car hadn't been completely destroyed upon landing in the ditch, and that the interior had been mostly preserved.  
After dusting off more of the rear windshield, Ranma bent down low and peered down to try and locate the doughnut box he and Kyle had left in the front seat.  
"Don't see it... damn. Okay then..." Wiping some sweat from his brow, Ranma pulled back a fist and punched straight through the armored windshield, feeling significant resistance before his knuckles broke through to the other side.  
Frustratingly enough, the windshield didn't shatter as he expected it to, being unfamiliar as he was with the manufacture of bullet-proof glass, and the pigtailed soldier muttered a few curses as he ripped the entire panel out from the frame.  
"Let's see now," Ranma mumbled as he carefully lowered his head into the car interior. The air was stale and heavy with dust, but it was breathable, and was being slowly aired out by the new hole in the rear of the vehicle.  
"I think the box was-"  
"HSSS!" His thoughts were interrupted by a high-pitched hiss, and Ranma's hand snapped forward just in time to grab the attacking worm-like creature around the neck before it had reached his face.  
Crack! Quickly snapping its neck, Ranma dropped the pointless running gag and wordlessly continued searching for his prize.  
"Aha! There it is!" Spying a bit of pink poking out from where some dirt had entered through a break in the door panel, Ranma dropped himself further into the vehicle, holding on to the entry hole by keeping his feet hooked over the edge.  
Grabbing onto the box, he pulled it out from under the dirt that had collected, and smiled upon confirming that it was the suspicious doughnut container from before.  
Pulling himself from the wreckage, Ranma blew some of the dirt off the top of the box and then opened it.  
"Hm, lots of papers... Ah!" Grabbing onto the first sheet he found, he saw that it was a list of people's names from some prison that had been inconveniently identified with a number and acronym he couldn't comprehend. The names either had a rank posted next to them, or the word "Deceased".  
"Okay... that doesn't help too much." It certainly looked suspicious, but for Ranma, the implications were hardly obvious. "Ah ha!"  
Ranma grinned as he pulled out a folded-up map with smuggler routes in and out of Tokyo Bay and along other places on the coast. Underneath that was a list of weapons that had been recovered from Yutchzky's transport.  
"Ha! Paydirt! That creep's as good as done for!" Ranma cheered.  
"What creep?"  
Ranma blinked, and looked up at the edge of the ditch he was still standing in. "Kyle? What're you doing here?"  
The blond soldier waved down to him. "Hi Ranma! I'm just passing through!" Putting down his hand, Kyle took a long sip of the large Icee he was carrying.  
Rushing to the edge of the pit, Ranma bunched up his legs and launched himself over the railing built up around the ditch, being careful not to spill any of the contents of the box. "Hey, shouldn't you be rushing to the defense of our country or something?"  
Kyle frowned. "Shouldn't you?"  
"**I'VE** been tracking down a traitor in Core that's been leaking information to terrorists and sending our men into traps," Ranma said matter-of-factly, gesturing to himself, "what have YOU done today?"  
The older man smirked and smoothly took a sip of his Icee before answering. "I got the high score on Time Crisis 3 down at the Namoka Center arcade."  
Ranma blinked. "Wh-What? The new one?!"  
"Yup." Kyle's smirk grew as Ranma's face darkened, and he patted the pigtailed man on the shoulder. "But don't worry, I'm sure that whole traitor thing'll work out for you. So who was it?"  
"That dumb Sergeant guy," Ranma mumbled half-heartedly, "what's-his-face... Yujikata."  
"Oh." Kyle raised his cup and took another long sip from his refreshment. "You mean you didn't know?"  
Ranma twitched. "And I suppose you did?"  
"Well, I don't wanna brag, but yeah, it was pretty obvious." Slurp! "Especially after I saw those papers you just dug up."  
"And of COURSE you neglected to tell everyone else," Ranma muttered, scratching his head.  
"I thought you knew! I swear!" Kyle protested, raising up his hands.  
"Whatever. I don't have time for this anyway." Looking up at the sky, Ranma grimaced as he scanned over the expanse of black smoke. "The smoke column isn't shrinking any, and the streets are still pretty empty. I guess the threat isn't over with."  
"Nah, they're still broadcasting the emergency thing, telling people to stay inside." Kyle shook the last of the flavored slush into his mouth, then began to shake the empty cup, hoping for more. "Hey, you wanna go back to the arcade? I'll play you at King of Fighters."  
Ranma frowned. "Nah, I don't have any money." A moment passed, and then he suddenly straightened. "I mean, the city's under attack! We don't have time for games!"  
"Well, technically," Kyle began, scratching his head, "it seems like it's just the oil rig in the bay that blew up, so the city itself hasn't been attacked yet."  
"..............." Ranma remained silent for several moments. "............ Well, I still don't have any money, so we should do something about it anyway." Then he bit his lip anxiously. "But what?"  
"Well..." Kyle began, "I know I'm not the idea guy here, but if we have to blow something up, there's pretty much only one guy to talk to."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow, then nodded decisively. "Very well then! For the protection of Tokyo!"  
As Ranma raised his fist into the air, so did Kyle. "And to refill my Icee!"  
"TO THE CONVENIENCE MART!!"

"Okay then! Get those munitions loaded! All pilots on standby!"  
Technicians and mechanics swarmed about the launching area as the combat helicopters were loaded with anti-sub munitions, having their missile and rocket pods replaced with torpedoes and sonar buoys.  
"Sir! Units one through six are ready for takeoff!" A Captain approached the commanding officer and saluted sloppily, clearly shaken by the heavy activity and panic.  
The Core Major nodded to his subordinate. "As far as you know, what exactly are we dealing with here?"  
The Captain wrung his hands nervously. "The naval forces in place in the bay are in full withdrawal, sir, and both the Yamato and Yajitsu have been completely destroyed. We'll need to deploy the buoys first, and then begin the attack."  
The Major nodded again, looking up at the smoke column in the distance. "Deploy units one through four, and have them attack in wide formation. Units five and six will deploy with the next two units ready for takeoff and attack at-"  
"Sir! Sir!" The Major turned sharply as one of the technicians rushed up to the staging platform, slightly out of breath. "I-I thought you should know, Major! A small group of civilian craft have approached and are requesting to land to comply with crisis flight restrictions! They're approaching now!"  
"What the hell... why is there more than one of 'em way out here?" The Major growled. "Whatever! Get them down on the depot on the east side; just get them the hell out of the air!"  
"They're definitely too close," the Captain muttered, spying the formation of craft coming up on the airfield. In that moment, something caught his eye on the wings of one of the approaching craft, which had some sort of harness covering most of them.  
"Captain? Captain, are you listening? We have to deploy the-"  
"Sir," the Captain said shakily, cutting off his superior, "those copters... have rocket pods..."  
Whirling around, the Major's eyes widened as he immediately recognized the class of helicopters that were hovering overhead. "Aw, shit! Get everybody away from there!! Clear the launch-"  
Fwoosh!  
The rest of the officer's orders were drowned out by the launch of several unguided explosive rockets, followed by angry detonations as the helicopter units waiting for launch were torn apart where they sat.  
The Core officer grimaced as his personnel began to panic, scrambling for cover. "Captain! Get those men out of there! All personnel are to evacuate immediately!"

Ignoring the man's response, the Major immediately turned and ran for the door to the tower, turning on the lights as he entered. Knowing the instruments' positions by heart, he absentmindedly turned on the radio and all the necessary supplementary equipment as he composed his message in his mind.  
Taking a deep breath, he picked up the speaker in his hand and depressed the button on the side. "This is Alpha two, Core airborne assault division! Base is under attack; I repeat, air base Alpha two is under attack! The enemy possesses three light observation helicopters in battle formation! I repeat, three LOH units with anti-armor capabilities! Enemy units resemble civilian craft to a high degree; look for the harnesses on the wings disguising the-"  
Pssht! This is Alpha one! This is Alpha one, somebody, come in! We're under attack! Our aircraft have all been neutralized! Send reinforcements! They've got Goddamn ROBOTS over here!! We need help! We can't- Psssssh...  
The Major swallowed deeply as the message ended, the radio's speakers spewing endless streams of static.  
"R-Robots? Shit!" The officer tried to think quickly, the desperation of the scenario beginning to overtake his hardened nerves.  
KA-KROOOOOM!!!  
The man was thrown to the ground as the main fuel tanks were destroyed outside, shaking the entire complex in a massive, Earth-shattering explosion.  
Covering his head with his arms, the Major winced as several heavy components fell over him, spilling onto the floor among shattered glass and collapsed chairs.  
"The... the contingency force at Tokyo International..." The Core officer grimaced and pushed himself up. "It's the only... way... gotta warn... HQ..." Gasping for breath, he picked up the radio unit, hoping it hadn't been damaged when it fell from the shelf.  
Whupwhupwhupwhupwhupwhup!  
Not bothering to look behind him at the noise that flooded through the broken window, he shakily placed the radio back on the shelf, his entire body trembling. "Gotta warn... gotta warn... c-can't let them..."  
Fwoosh!  
KABOOM!!

"And so that's the whole story," Ranma finished, his eye twitching slightly as Kyle slurped his Icee right behind him.  
Asuka, Snake, Junko, Tiro, Tycho, and Sakura all nodded slowly.  
"I see. So with Core truly compromised, we can't count on them to take down the Angels this time..." Asuka murmured.  
"As if we could before," Snake said, snorting. "This is what they getting for kicking us out!"  
Ranma coughed into his hand to gather his friends' attention. "Yeah, well, be that as it may, I happen to have some questions of my own... like, for example, what are you all DOING here, anyway?!"  
"Eh, didn't really have anything better to do," Junko admitted. "Modeling isn't exactly a full-time job, you know?" Then she scratched her chin. "Although... I guess I could go back to my old job..."  
"Well, I CAN'T," Asuka mumbled irritably, "and I figured that if a screwball like Snake could get some kind of job, he could find me one."  
Kyle blinked. "So can he?"  
"It's a bit iffy," Snake explained, "you know, what with her having an actual conscience and whatnot."  
"Yeah, I imagine that would a problem in dealing with your friends," Tiro muttered. "As for me, the... main benefit package just expired where I was working."  
"Okay, fine," Ranma started. "Next question: Why is there a fancy-looking painting on the wall over the import liquor?"  
"Because Snake INSISTED it would look tacky over the instant ramen shelves," Tycho explained, rolling his eyes.  
Snake grinned. "Like it? It's a Van Gough! That guy had a MUCH higher credit limit than we thought!"  
"I'm almost sure there's some kind of law against that sort of thing..." Ranma muttered. "But anyway, last question: what're we gonna do about this whole attack?"  
Asuka shook her head. "I don't see what we can do; we don't have any intel that Core doesn't have."  
"Yes we do," Tiro muttered, nursing his beer.  
Asuka blinked. "But... if Ranma managed to get all his information to Kotetsu, then they already know that Tokyo International is at risk, right?"  
Tiro snorted, and fished a rolled-up piece of paper out of his jacket. "Read it and weep, 'Captain'." He snapped the paper up and down, unrolling it, and then slapped it onto the table in the middle of the store.  
Asuka's eyes widened. "Wh-What the hell?!" At the top of the paper was Evil Terrorist Plans: Top Secret! in big, red font. "How in the world did YOU come by this?!"  
Tiro swallowed the last of his beer as the others gathered around to look. "I found it lying around, that's all. I'd like to think of it as a 'severance package'." Then he raised his head up. "HOURS I spent, trimming bushes, watering plants, and pulling weeds! And for what?! The chick &#ing threatens to shoot me in the crotch!"  
Crnch! Tiro's beer can was crushed within his fist, and the lecher's eyes burned as he stood up. "This has gone on long enough! It's time we remind these bastards why our own government thought we were too dangerous to keep around!"  
Snake chuckled slowly, a malicious grin forming on his face. "Oh, we will. Giving these plans to Core would be a waste. It's time we took matters into our own hands."  
"Damn straight," Ranma growled. "Idiots can't even keep a lowlife like Yujikata out! I'm not going to see my friends killed because of their incompetence!"  
"I don't really have any opinion either way," Kyle admitted, "but seeing as we're all here and everything, we might as well."  
"They can't be allowed to get away with this! It's awful!" Sakura said, clenching one hand into a fist.  
"What blondie said," Junko muttered.  
Tycho looked around at the store and sighed. "Well, I'm gonna miss this place. But with business the way it turned out, it isn't like it would have stayed open long anyway. I'm in."  
Asuka looked around at the determined/apathetic expressions surrounding her, and she lowered her head. "Now frankly, I usually like to think I'm better than this. A week ago I couldn't have stood the thought of risking my life on an illegal vigilante mission." Wham! Then she slammed a hand down on the table, hard. "But dammit, MY CITY is being ripped apart piece by piece, and if these plans are right, Core, the last hope for Japan against the most severe terrorist threat in the world, can't get a freaking helicopter off the ground! I'm DAMN sick of it, and we're going to do something about it!!" Wham! Her other hand joined the first one, and the bluette's eyes narrowed. "Ladies, gentlemen... let's go blow something up."

The technician let out a frustrated grunt as he struggled through the command lines of the activation codes on the laptop in front of him, doing his best to program the basic command lines for the huge combat boomers looming over him.  
Well, "technician" was a word to describe the function he was attempting, really, and not so much his area of expertise or training focus. Really, the most complicated piece of technology that this particular terrorist felt comfortable with was a TV remote, and even then, he regarded many of the buttons whose function he didn't know with a dose of fearful respect.  
"What's taking so long?!"  
The technician winced. "J-Just a moment sir!"  
Biting his lower lip, the man scanned the list of drop-down command menus that were presented as part of the programming utility.  
"Okay now... uh... 'attack'!" Moving the cursor to the "attack" menu, he pushed the left mouse button, and subsequently a menu popped up that displayed two possible selections.  
The terrorist scratched his head in confusion, then turned to his commander. "Hey! Are we 'good guys' or 'bad guys'?"  
The commander blinked. "You mean philosophically, or idealistically?"  
"I mean as in who these things are going to shoot at!"  
"Oh..." The commander rubbed his chin. "I'm pretty sure we're the bad guys."  
"Okay! Thanks!" The technician quickly made the necessary selection, and then continued with the "programming".  
The commander's second-in-command sighed. "It doesn't exactly fill me with confidence, the way these men handle the more powerful weapons."  
The commander shrugged. "Don't worry, I hear they're coming out with a 'Dummies' book about it." Then he gestured to the wall that separated the transport truck from the airport landing strip. "What're we looking at as far as resistance?"  
"Negligible. Our boys have already advanced to scare off the civs, and if our man in Core did his job, we won't have to deal with a response for a while, yet. Hell, the boomers're pretty much just for blowing up big stuff. Not like we need 'em for anything."  
"Ah ha! Done!" The technician hit the startup key. "Hmm? 'Warning: The system commands you have input may, as in, will, cause injury or death to friendly units. Continue?'" He looked over at his CO. "Uhhhhh..."  
"Idiot! Don't turn those things on! Go back and fix whatever it is you did!" The commander grimaced as he looked at the two unresponsive war machines, sitting on their armored heels and connected to the laptop by a thin red cable. "Man, why do we even have stuff like this? Or, if we do, why bother sending in untrained ex-cons with Soviet-era machine guns?"  
"All part of the greater scheme of things, sir," his subordinate said, grinning. "A show of strength can be more devastating to the enemy than an actual victory."  
The commander jerked his head over as he heard spurts of gunfire coming from the airfield. "Well, I hope these bots impress the enemy then. We haven't had much in the way of victories, so far."  
The other man shrugged. "Okay, look at it this way; as secular terrorists rather than religious fanatics, we get to use advanced weapons and heinous monsters in combat, rather than strapping bombs to our bodies and hoping that God will appreciate our efforts."  
The commander nodded. "Yeah, that is kind of comforting." Then he turned to the technician. "Aren't you done yet?"  
"Uh... okay, yeah! Here goes!" The technician activated the program, and then stepped back as a high-pitched whine came from within the two hulking machines.  
Unit activation cycle complete. Damage analysis in progress...... all systems are within acceptable levels of operation. Armor damage is negligible. Maintenance tag is in effect. Analyzing mission parameters...... analysis complete. Primary mission objective: Destroy all enemy units, enemy structures, enemy stuff, and enemy pets, as well as any available targets of opportunity. Targets of opportunity identified as "not us". All casualties and collateral damage sustained to surroundings deemed acceptable, except where strictly prohibited by law. This is in conflict with primary mission objectives. Disregarding... Secondary mission objective: Reach waypoint Zeta-3, demand a large salmon okinomiyaki, and return to base with recovered item.  
As the commander and his subordinate sweatdropped, the technician cursed. "Dammit! It was supposed to be pork, not salmon! These stupid things are impossible to deal with!"  
"I know the feeling," the commander deadpanned.  
Reactor cycle completed. Launching.  
There was a furious roar as the boomers stood up and fired their booster rockets, lifting their armored bulk from the concrete walk and flying toward the airfield.  
The commander grinned. "There they go."  
Fwoosh! Ka-KROOM!! BOOM!!  
"Or not," he mumbled, watching as two missiles streaked upward from behind the wall to stab into the boomers during their ascent, annihilating them before their sensors even registered the threat.  
His second-in-command gulped. "Wh-What? No! Those missiles... there's no way they just happen to have men with missile launchers strolling around out here! They were waiting for us! We've been set up!!"  
"Not really," a sultry voice said from behind the terrorists, "not 'set up'. We just happened to stumble upon some info, is all."  
The commander and his second whirled around with their rifles drawn, and then swallowed deeply as they saw a curvaceous figure wearing some sort of dark gray bodysuit standing in the shade of a nearby tree. It was obviously female, with long tresses of brown hair spilling down its back, and though it was wearing a faceless black mask that looked like a solid piece of plastic, it was quite obvious the figure could see, as the two pistols it held were aimed perfectly; one to each man's heart.  
"D-Don't y-you move, or we'll shoot!" The commander threatened, the sinking feeling in his gut steadily getting worse.  
Mia chuckled. "Please. Put down those guns before you get hurt, fools."  
Toomp! Toomp! Toomp! The sound of heavy metals falling on concrete filled the small clearing, as did the Core soldiers, completely surrounding the three men.  
The technician trembled nervously. "This... This wasn't supposed to happen... it can't happen! No!" He shook his fist in the air, and glared at the armored masks around him, gazing in the glowing red lenses. "You fools! You won't get away with this! We're more powerful than you! We're stronger, do you hear me?! STRONGER!! We will-"  
Blam! Thud!  
The terrorist commander stared at the dead man's body for a moment, then looked up at Mia, whose gun still had smoke leaking from the barrel. "This might seem kind of awkward, but... thank you for doing that."  
"Any time," she said mirthlessly as the remaining two terrorists dropped their weapons. Then she gestured to the nearest Core trooper. "Take these two back to base immediately for questioning." Then she turned to another soldier who was observing the transport vehicle. "What's the status on our forces in the airport?"  
The soldier she was addressing turned and saluted. "The airport is secure, Colonel, or so our preliminary sweeps have shown. It's a lot of area to cover, you understand, and there are many areas within that would provide excellent cover and ambush terrain. From what I've gathered, though, we can count 23 enemies dead, 9 wounded, and 19 captured without wounds. One friendly unit was wounded, but it appears relatively minor."  
Mia grinned under her helmet. "Now that's what I want to hear! Good job, Captain!"  
"Thank you, Colonel. It would seem that the enemy really was counting on being able to secure the area easily and dig themselves in; we found numerous mines and some gun emplacement equipment."  
"Well, that's a damn shame for them, 'aint it?" The Colonel said, holstering her guns. "What's the ETA on the pilots, then?"  
"About four minutes, Colonel. We're already prepping the contingency units for launch, but it will take time to get the torpedoes out here. I estimate about 20 minutes. In the meantime, I recommend we set up a wide perimeter around the launch area to keep any last-minute attacks from succeeding."  
"See to it. Have we heard anything else from the Alpha sites?"  
"Negative, Colonel. Given their last transmissions, it would be wise to designate them hostile areas right now and wait until we're no longer needed here before we launch any recovery or rescue attempts."  
Mia grimaced, but nodded. "Then write up some plans. The very moment we launch the copters here, I intend to wipe out any enemies still poking around the air bases, and save anyone who can still be saved." She turned her head to look at the terrorists as they were led away into an armored vehicle. "I intend to pay them back a hundredfold for this, Captain."  
"Heh... that's an affirmative, Colonel."

"Do you REALLY have anything that can help us destroy a submarine?" Asuka asked nervously as she and the other former DAPC officers followed Snake up the steps to his condominium.  
"Well..." Snake tapped his chin in thought. "Sure, I have lots of things to destroy submarines, but of course, the real problem is the methods of deployment. Now, given that submarines are difficult to hit even with precision smart weapons, it would be inefficient to paint-"  
"SNAKE," Asuka interrupted him harshly, "get to the point already!"  
The weapons expert rolled his eyes. "Well, personally I like the tried-and-true method of placing plastic explosives everywhere. Crude, of course, but it's reliable." He took out his keys and started flipping through them.  
"Put explosives everywhere?!" Tycho asked incredulously.  
Snake sighed. "FINE. If you HAVE to do things half-way, I **suppose** we could just put it everywhere on the inside." Finding the proper key, he inserted it into the lock and turned, disabling the lock on the knob.  
"So how are we supposed to get on the submarine to plant the charges?" Ranma asked skeptically.  
Snake shrugged as he found the key to the bolt lock. "Not my department. I plant the bomb, and make the bombs go boom. Well, and I kill everything between me and where the bomb needs to go. Not that it's necessarily my department, but I do enjoy it."  
Asuka grimaced as Snake unlocked the bolt and opened the door. "I think I may have a plan for how to get to the Vortex sub... but one thing at a time." She steeled herself as she followed Snake up the stairs and into his home. 'You promised yourself you would keep an open mind, no matter what you saw here! Remember that! Open mind!'  
Snake turned around as he entered his living room, grinning at his companions. "Well, here it is! Don't get too comfy; we have work to do!"  
Asuka blinked. Twice. And then she joined the others in staring at the condo's interior, completely flabbergasted.  
"It's... It's so...... normal," Sakura muttered, feeling a bit cheated by the lack of armored hallways and death ray cannons.  
Snake blinked. "You think so? I do try to keep it pretty clean, you know?"  
"Empty pizza boxes," Asuka muttered, cataloguing the room's features, "big-screen TV, semi-expensive couch, big oak liquor cabinet, poster of dogs playing cards..." she slumped forward slightly, looking as if a part of her world as she knew it had just turned out to be a cruel lie. "MY house is weirder than this! I mean, tell me you have an armory or something!"  
The weapons expert grinned. "Well, DUH. Over here." He walked over to his liquor cabinet.  
All of the former DA officers suddenly leaned forward in anticipation as Snake swung open one of the taller doors on the cabinet, expecting, at the very least to see it filled from top to bottom with blocks of C-4.  
Needless to say, they were all horribly disappointed to see a double-barreled, 12 gauge shotgun leaning against the back of the cabinet.  
"Th-This is IT?!" Asuka shouted, feeling quite foolish at finding her expectations so far removed from reality.  
Snake's eyes narrowed. "Would you just cool your jets?"  
"But we're supposed to be blowing up a submarine!" Asuka protested as Snake reached for the shotgun. "How the hell are we supposed to-" Yank.  
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Asuka stopped her ranting as the entire room began to shake, and all the former officers looked around in panic as a loud grinding noise came from somewhere beyond the walls.  
Ka-chunk! After a few moments the rumbling stopped, and the noise of a machine latch opening was heard.  
"Huh? What's going on?" Asuka said nervously, noting that the one window in the living room was completely dark.  
Chunk-chunk-choom! The sound of even more machinery was heard as the big-screen TV suddenly sank into the floor, revealing a single passageway that opened up into a large open area.  
Sakura blinked, completely confused. "Huh? A passageway outside?" But it was still light out; how come the area beyond looked so dark?  
Snake grinned. "It WOULD lead outside, if we were still on the ground floor. Come on." He walked up to the entrance and passed through it.  
The rest of the group cautiously followed, though they almost took a bad tumble when Asuka, who was in the lead, got a good look at the area beyond the doorway and froze in her tracks.  
"Oh... my... God..." she mumbled, her left eye twitching.  
Snake grinned again, and then threw his arms up in the air, gesturing to the numerous war machines and massive guns that surrounded him. "Ladies, gentlemen... welcome to the Snake Cave!"  
Crash! His companions immediately facefaulted, already mentally taxed by having their expectations first denied, then run over and stomped on.  
"S-Snake Cave?!" Asuka shouted, getting up unsteadily as she looked up at the huge rockets that were suspended by wires from the ceiling, like in a museum.  
The weapons expert nodded. "Yeah. Truth be told, my dad loaned me some serious cash to get on my feet here in Japan, so before I became a cop, I thought about becoming a super hero, and built this place from my vast but short-lived wealth."  
Ranma sweatdropped as he looked at the grenades that decorated a panel of the wall, sorted by year and country of development. "So what changed your mind?"  
"The hours suck," Snake admitted, crossing his arms over his chest, "and so does the pay, the benefits, vacation days, and especially the health plan." He stopped speaking and looked down, slightly embarrassed. "Well... that, and there was a slight possibility that if I were to cause as much damage as I do as a cop, I'd inadvertently be classified as a super VILLAIN, and with the recent unionization of the henchman and cannon fodder professions, that's a headache I just can't deal with." Then he grinned. "Being a cop is much better! I can pretty much do anything I want as long as I don't kill any innocent people! Plus I get paid for it! Super heroes usually have to hold a second job!"  
"I don't think I want to know what his costume would have looked like," Tycho muttered, finding a corridor as everyone began to split up to explore the place. "So, you got any tanks?"  
"Room 7-B," Snake answered, "though they're not maintained for operational use, so I wouldn't suggest trying to start any of them up!"  
"Where are small arms?" Kyle asked, focused as he was on equipping and moving on with the mission.  
"Second floor, my man. Sorted by class: A is pistols, B is shotguns, C is sub-autos, D is rifles, C is launchers, and so on."  
"Explosives?" Junko asked, glancing at the several large gun emplacements that had been set up in the main hall for display.  
"Down the left hall, room 3-A. Detonators are in the C room."  
As the others spread out to arm themselves, Snake approached Asuka, who had crossed the length of the main hall and was looking at a large pit that was in place at the end.  
"So, you need to find anything? Body armor, utility belts, beer?"  
The bluette twitched mightily, and slowly pointed down into the pit. "Snake... you have a **functioning** ICBM silo here?!"  
Snake sweatdropped. "Oh, relax! Sure, but it's not like I have any missiles for it!"  
"THEN WHAT'S THAT?!?!" She shouted, pointing at the huge missile resting in the middle of the silo.  
Snake sweatdropped again. "Well, I mean, these are all conventional warheads. It's not like I have any NUCLEAR ones."  
"THEN WHAT'S **THAT**?!?!?!" She shouted even louder, pointing to a large cone sitting next to the silo that had a radiation trifoil stamped on the side.  
A third sweatdrop rolled down the man's head. "Will you calm down? It's just a model!"  
Asuka began to breathe a little easier, but she continued to glare at her former subordinate. "JUST a model? Really?"  
The sweatdrops broke, and soon little droplets were pouring down Snake's head. "Well... uh... yes... that is... until I find some fissionable uranium... you see, it turns out that the stuff I have is no good... you know how nuclear chemistry is..."  
"SNAKE!!!" Asuka screamed, looming over the weapons expert, "This is inexcusable!!"  
The man fell backwards as Asuka's aura exploded, and began to wave his arms in front of him frantically. "H-Hey! How do you think **I** feel?! I can't even get back at the Iraqi government for cheating me, what with the US mowing down the whole bloody country!"  
"You psycho! You'll kill us all!! You're the last person that should ever be in control of nuclear weapons!!"  
"Grk!" Snake began to gag as Asuka clasped her hands around his neck and shook without mercy. "But, I-hack!-don't actually-gack!-have any yet-herk!-technically!"  
"Captain!" Ranma shouted, running back into the main hall wearing a bullet-proof vest and carrying various other gear. "Come on, we have to hurry! You can strangle Snake any time!"  
"Hmph!" Reluctantly, the former Captain dropped her victim onto the steel floor of the hall and stood up. "Fine. Saotome, you have anything for me?"  
Ranma wordlessly tossed her a vest and one of the pump-action shotguns he had bundled under one arm.  
Asuka caught both items and nodded. "All right then. Get the others up here." She looked down at Snake, who was still gasping for breath. "I don't suppose you have a Snakemobile around here, do you?"  
"N-No," he responded, finally catching his breath. "It was in the budget, but I overspent on a really big supercomputer control center."  
Asuka blinked. "You have a supercomputer? Like, the kind that hacks into government databases and controls satellites and stuff?"  
"Well, I pretty much only use it to play Quake III, but yeah."  
"Hmmm..." Asuka mulled this over. "Well, that doesn't really help us at this very moment. But I'll have to remember you have that."  
Just then, Ranma rushed back up the stairs with the rest of their companions behind him. "Captain! We're all ready!"  
The bluette smirked. "Well then, what're we waiting for? Let's go jack a copter."

"General, sonar reports that all enemy units are out of range. We are unable to continue engagement without leaving the mission area."  
Igov nodded mutely, his face a mask of complete calm and determination. "Very well then. What is the status of our parallel operations?"  
The communications officer turned toward him. "Both enemy airbases have been neutralized, General! However, we received a distress call from one of the units assigned to infiltrate the civilian airport warning that it had been evacuated and was under guard!"  
The cyborg raised an eyebrow. "I... see. Most unfortunate. But ultimately it will not stop us."  
The communications officer nodded. "Yes, sir! With the airport in enemy hands, they will be able to successfully launch a helicopter attack against us! All friendly aircraft have been ordered grounded to minimize overall losses once the enemy regains aerial superiority!"  
"It is best," Igov admitted, "We have superior numbers, but against trained pilots, these terrorists might lose five copters to every one they destroy." And really, that was assuming that the enemy was taken by surprise, and that the enemy wasn't properly equipped. The results of the training gap were quite severe where helicopters were concerned.  
The First Mate, who was actually Igov's most trusted Colonel, turned toward him. "Well, 'Captain'? What are our orders?"  
Igov's body stood rigid and unyielding, the testament of a man in his element; a man who was doing what he was born to do. At the same time, his face showed no uncertainty, doubt, or caution; only the cold, neutral expression of a man who was calculating a plan of action. All in all, he was a grand sight, this mighty man of flesh and steel, commanding his soldiers that were most loyal to him, as sons were to a father. He appeared in every way the leader, the master, the God of his environment.  
Which was good, because otherwise he would have looked damned silly, giving orders with one arm like that.  
Worst yet, he hadn't had enough time before the deployment to properly deal with the torn-up socket where his left arm used to be, and had to rip off one of the sleeves to his coat and then smooth it over the hole to keep from having a single empty sleeve flopping around every time he moved his shoulders. As a result, none of the recently trained mariners could see the wads of duct tape that kept most of his internal fluids from shooting out his shoulder, but many snuck glances every once and a while to ponder the many small wires that poked out from beneath the flap.  
As it was, the men aboard the submarine had enough sense and respect for their general not to stare or say anything about it, but the rumors about what had actually HAPPENED to the cybernetic man were spreading like wildfire.  
The general leaned forward over the tactician's table in the middle of the bridge, and slowly smiled. "Surface immediately. Ready the topside weapons and deploy as soon as the pumps have done their work." His smile twisted into a sadistic grin. "These fools think to bombard us; let us swat them from the sky like the pitiful insects they are!"  
"Yes, General!" The Colonel said, saluting. Then he turned away toward the general area of the bridge. "All hands, prepare to surface! Topside gunners, ready the neocannon! Power control, prepare to deploy the laser tower!"  
"Yes, sir!" "Immediately, sir!"

"This is Zeta Leader to command center, do you copy?"  
This is the command center, Zeta Leader. Report.  
"Zeta Wing is coming up on the target area, command, and Theta Wing is just a few clicks behind us."  
Roger that, Zeta Leader. Your orders are to proceed down the center of the bay and proceed to drop sonar buoys, deploying every-  
"That's a negative, command," the pilot interrupted, leaning forward slightly as a dark shape appeared less than a kilometer from the edge of the bay, "it looks like our friend's coming up."  
Zeta Leader, confirm target sighting!  
"Affirmative, command. It's definitely a sub, and some type I've never seen before! That thing's huge!"  
The enemy has surfaced?  
"Affirmative."  
......... What's your weapons status?  
The helicopter pilot checked over his display and scanned over all the deployment information, double-checking his craft's combat readiness. "Torpedoes one and two are good to go, but I advise we move out deeper into the bay before deployment. The water looks deep enough, and we're a lot closer to that thing than we need to be, but we're just passing over the docks now; I can't promise we won't hit a civilian structure or something if we deploy now."  
Affirmative Zeta Leader, continue on your present course. What's the status of the enemy vessel?  
The pilot keyed the zooming function on his flight helmet, and he frowned at what he saw.  
"There's some kind of huge bulge on the front part of the vessel, command. And its moving. Also, I think they're deploying some kind of radar antennae right behind it... well, it looks like a radar antennae. Sort of."  
If they've deployed radar, it's inconceivable that they haven't detected your approach. They may have something else in store. Proceed with caution, and deploy munitions as soon as you deem it safe!  
"Roger that, command."  
The pilot grimaced as the bulge on the sub's bow continued to swell, the armor plates disjointing as the weapon broke free of its protective housing and expanded to its necessary dimensions.  
Psht! Zeta Leader, this is Zeta Two. I believe we can safely deploy our weapons now.  
"Roger that. All units-" he stopped short as a flash of angry red came from the "radar antennae" of the submarine. "Oh, hell..."

BWEEEEOOO! A lance of crimson energy stabbed directly into the engine mount below the rotor of the helicopter leading the formation, and the craft shook violently for a second before it detonated in a cloud of flame and shrapnel.  
The copter following it tried to back away from the explosion, but began to wind around in a tailspin as several large pieces of the lead aircraft struck the rotor at an accelerated velocity.

This is Zeta Three! Mayday! Mayday! It's coming right-  
The rest of the communication turned to static as the second helicopter swung tail-first into the third, causing the last craft's rotor blades to snap as they struck the main body of its partner vehicle.  
The leader of the Theta wing gulped as he watched the two entangled vehicles plummet into the bay, thankfully without an explosion. It would be a difficult swim, but the pilots just might survive.  
"Command, this is Theta Leader! That thing has some kind of damned laser on it!"  
Theta Leader, I swear to God, if you were drinking before takeoff-  
That's a negative, command. Theta Two confirms that Zeta Wing was wiped out with a red beam originating from the target. Wouldn't be surprised if that thing started flying, at this point.  
"Command, Theta Wing is holding position at the edge of the bay and awaiting orders." The pilot sighed heavily, sweat already dripping down his brow. How did terrorists that rushed into heavy combat with AK-47s and Molotov Cocktails get ahold of weapons like this?  
Theta Leader, this is Theta Two! Looks like that laser's charging up again!  
"Shit! Evasive maneuvers!"  
BWEEEEOOO! Once again the laser beam struck metal armor as the copter suddenly rose, and the pilot gasped as the searing ray cut across the edge of his cockpit, blowing through the canopy glass but dissipating before any more damage was done.  
The man grunted as some of the air was sucked out of the cockpit, and pulled his craft away. "This is Theta Leader! I'm hit, and I've lost pressure, but I still have flight control. Theta Wing is withdrawing immediately."  
Theta Leader, are you sure you can't go around and strike the enemy vessel?  
"Negative, command! It's too close to shore! Recommending tactical missile strike!"  
Against a submarine? Assuming it couldn't strike the missile with this "laser", it could submerge long before impact!  
"I don't know what to tell you, command! We're sure as hell not going to take it out!"  
BWEEEEOOO! The lead pilot winced as the beam struck out again, cutting a line across the rear of the craft just beside him. The helicopter shook, but it remained in control as the beam again dissipated.  
This is Theta Three, I'm hit! I'm losing power fast, but I think I can make a landing first!  
"Roger that, Three, just get out of there alive." He sighed as he watched one of his wingmen steadily lose altitude. "Looks like that thing loses power with range. We might be able to get to a safe observation distance."  
Theta Leader, this is Theta Two. Funny you should mention observation, sir. Take a look back.  
Grimacing, the lead pilot swung his craft around to the right, exposing the undamaged side of his craft as he zoomed his visor in on the terrorist warship.  
"Sweet mother of God..." he almost whimpered as he saw the bulge from earlier sprout a gigantic barrel as it slowly turned on its turret chassis toward the shore.  
"What the hell kind of submarine is that?!"  
This is Theta Two! Emergency! The target has a large artillery cannon aimed toward the city! It looks like-

THOOM!!

"Did you hear something?"  
The man who had been designated and hastily trained to fly one of the helicopters during the attack froze in the middle of lighting his cigarette. "What? What'd you hear?"  
The other terrorist's eyes narrowed as he looked toward the bay, and the pilot followed his gaze.  
Both men smirked as one of the buildings in the city's midst suddenly burst into a haze of flame, and within moments the distant object sunk below the skyline, consumed in a cloud of gray.  
Whoom! The noise of the neocannon's devastating power reached the pair of militants a moment later, softened by the distance traveled.  
"Well, it looks like they don't need us after all." The pilot shook his head as he smiled, and lowered his head as he lit the cigarette hanging from his lips.  
The other man nodded. "Guess not. The Russians seem pretty good at this sort of thing."  
The pilot snorted as he shook his match to put it out. "They're Russians. Pretty much all they do is drink and shoot things."  
"That's a stereotype."  
"Doesn't mean it's not true."  
The second terrorist didn't bother to respond, and scooted away from the pilot as he puffed away at his cigarette.  
"Still, we should get back to base as soon as possible."  
"The radio message told us to stay grounded."  
The pilot shook his head. "And I doubt they're going to bother risking to tell us when we can go; they're liable to just leave us out here, now that they have that thing in the bay deployed. I say we make a run for home while we can."  
"Well, I'm afraid that time frame just expired, folks."  
Both terrorists jerked to attention as the new voice approached, and they clumsily reached for the automatic rifles slung over their shoulders.  
Snake just rolled his eyes as he drew his .50 caliber Desert Eagles, one in each hand. Without even rushing to take aim, he lifted the twin weapons and switched off the safeties with his thumb just as the pilot began to raise his AK-47.  
Blam!! Blam!! "AAAUGH!!" "Gyah!"  
The weapons expert smirked as both terrorists fell to the ground in intense pain, grasping the leg in which they had been shot desperately.  
Behind him, the other former DAPC officers emerged from the trees they had been using to sneak up on the clearing.  
"Why'd you just shoot them in the leg?" Ranma asked curiously. "That seems unusually merciful of you."  
"It is," Snake said, kicking away the pilot's weapon as the man rolled around on the ground, "but I have a special purpose in mind here."  
Snake tapped the pilot on the shoulder with the barrel of his gun, and the terrorist looked up at him through a haze of sheer agony.  
"I see you were lighting up there before I shot you. Do you REALLY think so little of your life?"  
The pilot blinked, still trying to stem the flow of blood from his thigh. "Huh?"  
Snake shook his head. "I cannot stand by and watch as a human being so WILLINGLY destroys himself with these vile poisons! I tell you now: forsake the cigarettes forever, or I will be forced to put you out of your misery here and now!"  
The pilot blinked again. "Wh-What?"  
Blam!! The surrounding men and women winced as a good deal of the pilot's head was blown apart.  
"Wrong answer," Snake said morosely, turning toward the second terrorist. "And you? Will you suffer the pain of withdrawal, or shall your suffering end here?"  
The man trembled, horrified, as Snake loomed over him. "B-But I d-don't smoke!"  
Snake blinked. "Oh. Nevermind then." Blam!!

As Tycho rushed to the waiting helicopter, Ranma approached Snake from behind. "That was horrible."  
"No kidding," Snake mumbled, "I could have nailed him in the head the first time and saved a bullet."  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Yeah, right, you're way too merciful. That's just what I was thinking."  
"Well, stop all that thinking and come on; that submarine isn't go to blow itself up," Asuka said, grabbing the two men by the arms and pulling them toward the waiting vehicle.  
"Well, that'll be a problem, Captain," Tycho said as he climbed into the pilot's seat. "There's only room for four people here. Unless-"  
"Snake, Ranma, you pile in the back. I'll sit in the front with Tycho." Asuka said immediately, cutting off their pilot's explanation.  
Kyle blinked. "Well, what should we do?"  
The former Captain turned toward her remaining companions. "Kyle, you take Tiro and sweep the area for any more FAs. Shoot them on sight, but retreat at the first sign of police or Core forces. Junko, Sakura, I want you two to get to the bay and get a boat. Even if we make it to the sub, we may not be able to use the copter to get away from it, so I want you to get as close as you think is safe."  
Junko shook her head. "I don't know, Captain... are you sure this is such a good idea?"  
Asuka frowned. "I'm sure this isn't a good idea. So?"  
"Well, it's just that..." Sakura began to unroll the plans that Tiro had recovered, and then pointed to the point in the bay labeled "Vortex", "there's this big ring around the submarine labeled 'aircraft death zone'. Aren't you kind of worried about that?"  
The former captain smirked. "Don't worry! With Tycho at the controls, our chances of getting to the sub alive are slim to none with or without enemy defenses!"  
Kyle laughed. "Ha! Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, Captain!"  
The group shared a brief chuckle, which was cut short as another flash of light came from the distance, near the edge of Tokyo, followed moments later by the softened noise of the detonation.  
"............ Uh, you WERE joking, weren't you?" Sakura asked nervously.  
"Shut up and do your job, Tekai."  
"Er, yes ma'am."

After making sure that her other subordinates were on their way, Asuka climbed into the co-pilot's seat and turned around to face Ranma and Snake. "Move out the moment we touch the surface of the craft! It's going to stay surfaced until all of its bombardment targets are destroyed, so beyond actually getting to the sub itself, we should have plenty of time to get in! Ranma, you're going to open the hatch for the rest of us! Snake, you're going to take point and head for the engine room, where you'll lay down your explosives! Ranma, you head to the front and place your charges near the bridge! I'll take the torpedo room! Tycho will stay with the chopper and guard our extraction point!"  
"Right!"  
"Good to go!"  
Asuka frowned as the sound of the engine finally began, and the rotors of the helicopter blade started to spin.  
"Hey, Tycho! Are you sure you know how to fly this thing?!"  
The DA's premiere driver grinned as he brought the propellers up to speed, and then took firm hold of the control stick. "Is the Pope Mormon?!"  
Asuka blinked. "What?! No, he's not!"  
"Too late," Tycho mumbled, pulling back on the stick. Hard.  
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Tiro winced as he watched the helicopter rocket away into the sky, flying in all manner of wild circles and crazy arcs that he was positive the craft wasn't designed for.  
"Do you think they'll be okay?" Tiro asked nervously.  
Kyle raised an eyebrow as he hefted his shotgun. "Me? No, I don't think they'll be okay at all."  
Tiro sweatdropped. "Okay... do you think they'll at least come back alive?"  
Kyle stopped and scratched his chin. "Well... Ranma, maybe. But I'm pretty sure everybody else is gonna die."  
Tiro twitched. "Do you think they'll at least accomplish their mission?!"  
"If they manage to crash their burning wreckage of a helicopter into the enemy unit...... probably not."  
Tiro grit his teeth. "Okay, fine! Do you have ANYTHING positive to say about this mission?"  
Kyle looked back toward the helicopter, which was now moving in large dipping motions. "Hmmmm... technically, they're going in the right direction...... sort of."

"General, observation post seven confirms target's destruction. The Prime Minister's mansion has been reduced to dust and ash."  
Igov grinned and began to trace a path to the next target with his remaining hand. "It is unlikely that the Prime Minister or his family was there once the alert was called, but it is a symbolic strike."  
The cyborg general tapped a finger on the next target. "Ah, yes. Core Headquarters."  
The First Mate raised an eyebrow. "General, that structure is fairly low to the ground, and there are many tall buildings on all sides. At the very least, we'll need to eliminate... four structures to reach the enemy stronghold," he explained, quickly scanning the details of the city map they were using for their attack plan.  
Igov's organic eyebrow rose. "Well then, I will give you six shots to destroy the HQ." He grinned. "Feel free to impress me."  
"It still seems like a waste, Sir. You yourself have impressed upon us how we must conserve the neocannon's ammunition... and after losing all the Prometheus units when their ammo supplies were full..."  
"It is a waste, indeed," Igov admitted, shrugging. "But I have chosen my masters in this world, and they have chosen our targets. We are to smash their strength while they are still gaping at our power, and then we will ravage this broken nation!"  
The men in the submarine could feel an almost tangible energy in the air as their leader spoke, and the soldiers began their tasks with renewed concentration and focus.  
"Neocannon loaded! Rotating to attack vector 77-D9!"  
"Internal pressure is stable... beginning pressure lock sequence!"  
"Recoil dampeners are functioning at 94! Internal stability is within acceptable operations parameters!"  
"Firing neocannon!"  
Bwoom! A dull echo of the artillery cannon's firing sequence rang throughout the submarine interior, and the structure groaned as the power of the cannon's recoil threatened to tear the vessel apart.  
"Firing cycle complete! Recoil dampeners functioning at 90! Pressure locks are holding!"  
"Reloading sequence in progress, General."  
The communications officer walked over to the map of the city and scribbled out one of the boxes between the Vortex and Core HQ. "Observation post three indicates that the structure behind this one is heavily damaged, but intact enough to detonate the next shell warhead."  
Igov nodded. "Continue firing."  
"... Ah! General! We have incoming aircraft!"  
Several of the men on board turned to look at the radar officer.  
"Planes?" Igov asked, chewing his lower lip. Though it was possible to strike fast-moving aircraft and even large missiles with the laser tower, it was extremely difficult, and his crew was still inexperienced with the weapon.  
The soldier manning the laser tower frowned. "General, I have visual; it's one of the terrorists' helicopters!"  
Igov cocked his head to one side. "Oh? It belongs to the terrorists?"  
"I am certain, General! It has all the equipment the Light Observation Helicopters were dispatched with, and carries no torpedo armaments!"  
Igov frowned as the other soldiers turned sailors looked to him for orders.  
"Communications officer..."  
The man stood at attention. "Yes, General?"  
"Patch me through to the approaching craft, and hold the neocannon ready to fire."  
"Yes, General!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, SLOW DOWN!!"  
Tycho winced as Asuka screamed in his ear, and grit his teeth. "If I knew HOW, I would, okay?! Just be glad we're not doing those corkscrew turns any more!"  
Ranma scratched his head as he looked outside, watching the docks of the bay approach rapidly. "I dunno, I kind of liked those."  
"Well, that's to be expected of someone who pulls several Gs just jogging to the bank," Snake muttered, clutching his bag of plastic explosives. "I mean, I like roller coasters, but this is ridiculous!"  
"Oh, stop your whining," Tycho muttered as he began to push buttons at random, "I'm getting us where we want to go, right?"  
"Hell?" Asuka mumbled, holding her stomach.  
"What did I just say about whining?"  
Psht!  
"Eh? What's that?" Tycho asked, blinking at the sudden burst of static.  
This is General Yutchzky, Captain of Vortex submarine. Unknown craft, identify yourself!  
Tycho gulped. "Okay... I can handle this..." Before Asuka could stop him, the driver reached forward and pushed a button next to the speaker.  
Ka-chunk! Ka-chunk!  
Ranma blinked as he heard two loud noises from either side of him, and then looked back as the LOH's weapon pods disengaged from the wings and plummeted into the bay. "Well, there go the rockets."  
"Let me handle this, you moron!" Asuka shouted, slapping Tycho's hand away from the radio.  
Before she could take control of the radio herself, however, Snake leaned forward and snatched up the microphone himself. "This is Serpent Flight calling Vortex, we have a shipment of C-4 to deliver to... let's see... I have... 'up your ass'. I repeat, a delivery of-" Whack!  
Asuka growled as she dug her elbow deeper into Snake's face. "Give... me... that!"  
Before the weapons expert could do so, Ranma snatched up the mouthpiece and pulled it back with him. "Hey, Yutchzky, is it? I was wondering, what's up with all the stupid-looking machines, huh? I mean, first, those gigantic robots with huge flamethrowers on the front, and now a submarine with a turret? I mean, seriously, I feel like I'm fighting something out of Aerofighters, here." Ranma dodged to the side as Asuka lunged for the microphone. "You ever play that? It's an arcade game, where you-Dodge-blow up all these giant machines with this little bi-plane that has lasers-Dodge-or something. It's actually-Dodge-a lot of fun. Do they have-Dodge- video games in Russia, or does everyone just have to settle for shooting each other for real?"

Igov sweatdropped heavily as the transmission continued, and his crew looked at him in confusion, none of them having any comprehension of what was going on.  
GIVE ME THAT MICROPHONE, YOU IDIOT!! Blasted out of the radio, and much of the crew winced from the volume.  
But I'm not done making fun of him yet! Hey! Leggo! OW!!  
The Russian general put down his own mouthpiece and scratched his head (as he still only had one arm to do either). Then he shrugged. "Communications, end transmission."  
"Yes General!"  
Igov frowned. His Japanese wasn't good enough to decipher what it was that the intruders wanted to do with his ass, but he was fairly certain that the sentence had mentioned bombs as well, and that was an ominous combination if he ever heard one.  
"Prepare to fire the laser tower. Keep the neocannon on standby."  
The First Mate blinked. "General? Is that not one of our allies' craft?"  
The cyborg grunted. "Better to err on the side of caution, friend. FIRE!!"

"Erk!" Asuka gulped as the tower atop the rapidly approaching submarine began to glow. "Evasive maneuvers! NOW!!"  
"Gotcha!" Tycho shouted, smashing his palm onto the control panel.  
Ch-chunk! "Gyah!" The entire craft suddenly shook violently, and Asuka nearly smashed into the door as the entire helicopter began to turn counter-clockwise far faster than was safe.  
"Wh-What the hell did you do?!"  
"I haven't a damn clue!" Tycho shouted, shaking the controls and somewhat curious to why they weren't responding.  
Ranma, who was more used to perilous situations where he was just moments away from death, frowned and looked up at the motor, where he thought the earlier sound had come from. "Er... the, uh, blades aren't moving... I think you locked them in place or something."  
Tycho blinked. "Well, crap."  
BWEEEEOOO!

"Wh-What?! It's a miss!"  
Igov jerked his head over toward the power control station. "You missed?!"  
The man began to sweat. "Th-They suddenly lost altitude! Extending power feedback! We'll slice them in two!" Quickly activating the necessary controls before the power surge to the tower let up, he rolled the laser arc down, sending the beam in a lethal vertical sweep.  
Radar control sweatdropped. "The hell?! What is that thing doing? It's all over the place!"  
"Another miss!" The power control officer said through clenched teeth. "They're in a tailspin now! Damn it!"  
Igov's organic eye narrowed as the man once again attempted to correct the arc of the beam. "No! Disengage the weapon! Sustaining the laser this long will cause a-"  
Brzack! Crackle! "Gaah!" The soldier manning the power control station jumped from his seat as sparks began to shoot out of the console.  
Igov's organic eye went from narrowed to twitching. "... Will cause a feedback surge... Sigh"  
The First Mate swallowed nervously. "General?"  
"Get some men topside immediately," The cyborg said neutrally, well aware of the damage to morale that signs of exasperation and panic could cause. "I want radar stations on the alert! We no longer have protection against air units. We must finish the bombardment and dive!"  
He looked back over at the power control station, and winced as he saw that the controls pertaining to the laser tower had gone dark. 'These weapons are powerful indeed... but unreliable.' Then he began to rub his chin. 'Still, to evade such a weapon... I am impressed. The pilot of that craft must possess skill with no equal!'

"Ugh... wrong... button..." Tycho murmured, his head throbbing as he laid belly-up on top of the pilot's door.  
His position would seem unusual, if it were not understood that in fact the entire helicopter now rested on the pilot's side of the craft. Or, at least, what was left of it did.  
Tycho would have taken the time to catalogue how much damage he had done to their ride and how he had ended up crash-landing on something solid in the middle of a body of water, but was currently having a hard time dealing the intense pain in his entire upper torso in skull, as well as some soft but relatively heavy object that had fallen on top of him.  
The object began to stir. All of Tycho's remaining mental functions (as in both of them) went to yellow alert, and the driver raised his head up.  
Asuka groaned as she took stock of what had happened, her cognitive faculties returning to her much faster than Tycho's did. "R-Ranma?"  
Tycho chuckled weakly, and lightly ran a hand over Asuka's head, which was resting on his chest, to smooth back her hair. "No, not this time Captain."  
"Oh... Tycho?"  
The driver couldn't help but grin, enjoying his present position immensely. "Captain?"  
He didn't like it nearly as much when the blue-haired woman clamped a hand around his neck and started to squeeze.  
"Ca-Cap... Captain?!" He gasped out.  
Asuka held on to his throat as she pushed herself off of him, and only released her hold once she was sitting upright on top of him. Then she pulled back her fist.  
Thwack!  
"Next time, tell me when you don't know how to use something BEFORE you use it!" Asuka growled.  
Tycho whimpered as blood began to dribble from his nose. "Yeth ma'am. Thorry ma'am."  
Getting up unsteadily, the former captain grimaced. "Looks like we made a really bad landing... but at least you managed to get the rotors spinning again. I think we actually managed to crash on the submarine rather than the water."  
Tycho mumbled something unintelligible as he kept holding his nose.  
"What was that?" Asuka asked, looking around the mutilated interior. 'Odd... Ranma and Snake aren't here...'  
"Uhm... nothing."  
Asuka glared at him. "You know Wattai, lying on the floor like that after a copter crash, it would be quite simple to break something important and claim it was injured in the impact."  
Tycho gulped, and took his hand off his nose as the bleeding stopped. "Uh... I was... I was actually trying to hit the 'eject' button."  
Crunch!  
"OH, SWEET JESUS #&$ING MARY MY HAND!!!"

Before much more violence could be committed, the helicopter shook slightly, and the top (formerly known as the right door) opened up.  
"Hey, if you two are awake, stop killing each other and help us out, here!" Ranma shouted down into the craft, and reached down with his hand so that he could hoist them up.  
Asuka smiled slightly at the sight of him. "Should have figured you'd be all right. Careful now!" She grabbed his hand and found herself lifted entirely out of the wreckage.  
After hopping down off the copter to put Asuka down, Ranma hopped back up and put his hand down for Tycho. "All right, you're next!"  
Groan...  
Ranma blinked. "Hey man, what's up? You hit your head or something?"  
"He'll need some extra help getting out," Asuka muttered, "he took a real beating."

The former police captain gazed over the top of the Vortex submarine as Ranma helped Tycho, and grimaced at the sheer size of the cannon mounted on the front.  
Other than that, the surface of the vessel was mostly flat and very stable; Asuka had to guess that most of the sub's size could be attributed to modifications in armor.  
'Which won't mean squat if the inside is ripped to shreds,' she thought, smirking.  
The only other object of interest besides the hatch was a four-foot antennae with some sort of crystal apparatus on top that had several cables trailing out of it. Snake was kneeling next to that same device, obviously impressed.  
At the moment, though, Asuka didn't care about the terrorist Russians possessing laser technology. "Okay, I'm not really surprised that Ranma survived the crash, but how the hell did you get up here so fast?"  
Snake looked over at her, and raised an eyebrow. "Saotome grabbed me and braced himself against the door. Besides being a little jarred, we were fine." He poked at the unresponsive laser tower. "Too bad you insisted on taking the front; it didn't look like fun, being squashed up against Wattai like that."  
Asuka was just deciding whether to come up with a scathing, witty response or strangle Snake with one of the machine's wires when a squeaking noise came from the center of the submarine.  
"The hatch! You didn't get the hatch open?!" Asuka said, fumbling for her sidearm.  
Snake calmly snapped up a grenade from his belt, not taking his eyes off the laser emitter. "Nah, it was locked, and apparently Ranma still isn't able to make things explode by poking them, no matter what he says." Pulling the pin, Snake placed the armed explosive on the topside floor and then absently rolled it toward the hatch.  
Asuka stepped out of the way hurriedly, and then winced as the hatch popped open.  
"You there!" The Russian soldier shouted, spotting the blue haired woman. "Don't mo-huh?" The man was quite distracted when something rolled onto his arm and then fell down into the interior below, and he took an unwise moment to stare down the ladder when he really should have been keeping a bead on Asuka.  
Not that it really mattered, ultimately. BOOM!!  
Snake stood up and stretched as the hatch fell down heavily, the man holding it open having lost his footing after being punctured by several fragmentation shards.  
"Well, hatch is open, and this stupid thing is fried, for some reason. I'd say it's time to sink this ship."  
Asuka nodded as Ranma approached behind her, carrying Tycho over his shoulder. "You have your orders! Let's move!"

"I'm telling you, I heard an explosion back here! We should inform General Yutchzky immediately!"  
"And I'm telling YOU," the Captain explained to his subordinate, "that you're being ridiculous. You just mistook a neocannon recoil for an explosion or something."  
"That's not what it was!" The soldier protested as the other man led him through the bowels of the submarine toward the main hatch.  
"Of course you don't think so. But the General is very busy right now, and cannot be bothered with such trivial things as-" BLAM!!  
The rest of the Captain's assurance was lost quite ironically as he was thrown backward from the shotgun blast, and the remaining soldier reflexively ducked behind a bulkhead for cover.  
"Hey! I saw you there! Don't think you can hide from me!" Snake shouted, cocking the shotgun. "Get out here and die like a Communist!"  
Rather than trying for his gun, the soldier wordlessly ripped a grenade from his belt and pulled the pin.  
"Go to hell, Japanese filth!" With a grunt he jumped to the opposite wall and hurled the grenade, satisfied that no matter what, his enemy wouldn't be able to get away in time.  
Snake blinked, then moved to the side slightly as the explosive approached, gripping his shotgun tightly with both hands.  
Clang!  
The Russian soldier stared with wide eyes as he watched the vigilante invader strike his grenade with his shotgun, sending the explosive back to its origin as one would send a baseball back toward its pitcher.  
"Who... Who ARE you people?" BOOM!!

"Hiyah!" Thwack! Asuka struck the approaching soldier hard in the chest before he realized that anyone was behind the pressure tank, and the bluette followed up with a knee strike to the man's head before he could even THINK of reaching for his rifle.  
His companion had plenty of time to do just that, however, and had his weapon primed and the safety off just as the DA's former captain raised her own sidearm to the attack.  
Blam! Brap! One weapon discharged a bare moment after the first, and Asuka gulped as she heard the sound of a bullet ricocheting off the bulkheads behind her.  
Thud The second soldier slumped to the ground, dead.  
Trying to shake off the feeling that (sane) people get when a lethal projectile speeds past just centimeters from their head, Asuka rigidly moved forward toward the torpedo bays, her hand moving toward the pouch hanging from her belt.  
"I can't believe that Snake actually gets off on this sort of thing..." she muttered, pulling out the blocks of plastic explosive and sticking them into the crooks between the torpedoes. "Well... actually, I guess I can," she admitted, plugging the detonator into the clay-like block, "but it's still crazy."  
She finished arming the explosives, then ducked behind the bulkhead door, pulling out her radio. "Snake, this is Takami! Do you read?"  
Gotcha Cap'n. I'm all done here. You?  
"Yeah. We'll detonate the moment we're off this thing. Ranma? Have you set your explosives yet?"  
Asuka waited for him to respond, then frowned when nothing came. "Ranma, this is Takami. Do you read?"  
She waited some more. Nothing.  
"RANMA!! Come in! This is Taka... uh... this is Asuka! Captain Asuka! Do you read me?!"  
Uh... Captain?  
"Ranma?!" Asuka asked eagerly, glad that he was all right.  
No, it's Snake again.  
"Oh," she mumbled, suddenly downcast.  
Well, I was just thinking... did we ever give Saotome a walkie-talkie?  
"........................" The former captain didn't speak for an extended period of time, her left eye twitching in irritation.  
BREEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!! BREEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!! BREEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!  
"Gyah!" Asuka jumped back as an alarm suddenly sounded, almost banging her head on the bulkhead behind her as red lights started to flash from concealed areas in the walls.  
"D-Dammit... we run around in here killing off their guys... even if they are really light on crew, of COURSE they're going to notice..."  
She picked up the radio again. "Snake, Ranma, whoever can hear me, let's get OUT of here!!"

BREEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!! BREEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!! BREEEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!  
Ranma sweatdropped as the alarms began blaring all around him, and went back to staring at the gray block he held in his hands.  
"Aw man... what did Snake say to do after you put the detonator in?" His crash course in arming timed and remote explosives was not going well, and he was unsure of whether a mistake might cause the bomb in his hands to go off prematurely.  
Unfortunately, this was neither the time nor the place for hesitation.  
Clank! Ranma froze as the bulkhead door in front of him opened up, and bigsweated at what he saw.  
Igov's cybernetic eye glowed an angry red as he stared at the pigtailed man who nervously held a block of C-4 before him. Behind the man was a trail of the unconscious bodies of Igov's soldiers.  
The General turned toward the men backing him up as they all lined up shots at the pigtailed man. "Leave! Now!"  
His Colonel looked shocked. "But, General! He-"  
"Go, Colonel," Igov commanded stonily. "This foe is beyond you. And this vessel has been compromised. Order the evacuation immediately!"  
"Yes General!" The Colonel shouted, running off in the opposite direction.

Ranma scratched his forehead. He had no real idea what was going on, but now instead of facing several men with guns he was facing one man who was missing an arm. Didn't seem fair, really.  
"You done well to come so far, fool," Igov said, clenching his right hand into a fist. "But here interference ends by steel hand of the Red Death."  
Ranma scratched his head some more. "Didn't we meet in chapter 9?"  
Igov coughed meaningfully into his fist. "No, actually. You were not there to meet Igov that time."  
"Oh. My mistake." Then he cocked his head to one side. "What happened to your arm?"  
The cyborg's organic eye twitched. "Would rather spend time it takes to explain arm... KILLING YOU!!" And with that, his remaining arm burst into a chaotic whirlwind of wires and steel.

BLAM!! Ch-chak! BLAM!!  
Snake jumped over the falling corpse of his latest victim as he raced for the main hatch, the sounds of heavy boots on metal echoing from all over the submarine.  
Kicking open a bulkhead door, the weapons expert raised his shotgun for the attack, realizing only a split second in time that he was aiming at his captain as she climbed out through the main hatch.  
Not bothering to call out to her, he rushed for the ladder himself, idly arming and dropping a smoke grenade at the base of the escape hatch.  
"There they are!"  
"The intruders! Don't let them escape!"  
Snake was just about to drop down into the smoke to try and take out their pursuers, when a strong hand grabbed him by the back of his jacket and pulled him up topside just as the soldiers below opened fire.  
The weapons expert blinked as he was yanked out of the hatch, and barely managed to keep his balance as he was shoved clear.  
Tycho blinked as well, upon seeing his two former superior officers emerge in such a hurry. "Hey, what's up? Is everything armed?"  
"Shut up and jump!" Asuka shouted, turning away from Snake and making a mad dash for the edge of the submarine.  
"Wh-Wha?" Tycho gaped as the blue-haired woman zipped past, and stumbled to his feet (still cradling his hand) just before Snake rushed up and shoved him into the water.  
After satisfying himself that Tycho wouldn't hit the side of the sub instead of the water, Snake pulled out his detonator and leapt.

Ranma raised an eyebrow as Igov's arm was reformed into a functional machine gun. "Hmph. If you had two, then I MIGHT be impressed."  
"Igov DID have two," the cyborg groused, "but is not important now." He took straight aim at Ranma's head. "You are strong. Igov senses this. But you not leave vessel alive."  
Ranma snorted and tossed his C-4 to the side. "Yeah, whatever. Do you want me to tie an arm behind my back so that this is even REMOTELY fair?"  
"War is not fair," the General said neutrally, "loved ones are lost, nations burnt, and irreplaceable treasures are turn to dust. You give chance, display weakness, and all is lost." His eye glowed once more. "Now... you..."  
KAAAAKROOOOOOOOM!!!!

"YEEHAH!!" Snake shouted as he resurfaced above the water, feeling the waves from the explosion toss him about. "Oh yeah! That's the stuff!"  
Asuka had more of a mind for survival, and dove as she swam away from the torrential downpour of flaming wreckage.  
When she finally surfaced, she was pleasantly surprised to see a small power boat sputtering toward them with a distant patch of red and yellow to indicate the hair color of the drivers.  
"Oh, thank God..." Until they were sure that the sub had been destroyed, Core wouldn't risk allowing any helicopters into the air, including rescue or medical ones. Besides that, she would have very much preferred NOT to get any credit for this whole operation that might lead to questions of how a civilian would get ahold of firearms and plastic explosives.  
Snake came up from behind her, gasping for breath as he drug the largely insensate Tycho along with him. "Let's hurry up and get out of here! This guy's heavy!"  
"Wait a minute!" Asuka suddenly shouted, swimming over to where the other two men were. "Where's Ranma?"  
Snake swam in place for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face.  
Asuka grabbed Tycho and shook him. "Wattai! Snap out of it! Where's Ranma?!"  
Tycho blinked. "R-Ranma? He... didn't come out... before you did... and then..." he trailed off groggily.  
Snake sweatdropped as Asuka's eyes widened, and let go of his semi-conscious baggage as he slowly began to float away...  
"YOU BASTARD!!!"  
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Sakura blinked as some commotion started in the area where she spotted Asuka, and then sweatdropped as she watched a figure approach the boat at top swimming speed, as if it were trying to get away from a man-eating shark, or similarly lethal sea creature.  
"HELP ME HELP ME GET ME OUTTA HERE SHE'S GONNA KILL ME PLEASE HELP ME GET HER AWAY FROM-"  
Junko and Sakura looked at each other as Snake swam desperately for the speed boat, and then shrugged and held their arms out for the terrified man to grab on to.  
He wasted no time in doing so as soon as he was within arm's reach, and quickly hoisted himself up into the boat.  
Or, would have, if Asuka hadn't made a final sprint forward and latched on to his leg.  
"GYAAH!! SHE'S GOT ME!! OH, SWEET GOD, WHY?!?!"  
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!"  
Sakura and Junko winced badly at the exchange, and put more effort into trying to keep their captain from drowning their lieutenant.  
"Captain, please, calm down!" Sakura begged, rather afraid of being dragged down into the bay along with Snake, the way Asuka was tugging at him.  
"NO WAY!! YOU KNEW!! YOU KNEW AND YOU STILL BLEW THAT THING!!"  
"It's not my fault!" Snake cried, trying to get a better grip on the rear seat of the boat. "You told me to blow it up as soon as we were clear!"  
"YES!! 'WE' INCLUDED RANMA, YOU ASS!!"  
Sakura and Junko froze.  
"W-Wait a minute," the former said unsteadily, a slight tremor to her voice. "Where is Ranma?"  
"Well, depending on the angle of his trajectory," Snake began, "he's either lodged in the bottom of the pacific ocean, or he's been launched into the Kanto region."  
There was a very uncomfortable silence as all pulling and struggling stopped, and a slight glow began to envelope all three women.  
"It was probably a bad idea not to pass up that opening, huh?" Snake asked, bigsweating.  
"WHY... YOU... LITTLE-" Sakura began to shove him back into the waters of the bay, when Junko laid a hand on her shoulder.  
"Sakura, no. Not like this." Shaking her head, the redhead grabbed Snake's arm and pulled him fully into the boat, letting the man land face-down on the bottom.  
Then she cracked her knuckles. "Just drowning would be too kind. We should beat him first."  
"Amen, sister," Asuka growled, stepping out of the water.  
Snake whimpered as the three women loomed over him, their auras burning brightly and ready to commit unspeakable acts of righteous vengeance in the name of their fallen friend. "I d-don't suppose it would help to bring up how we saved the city, would it?"  
"No, not really," Asuka said, grabbing the weapons expert by the front of his soggy jacket and hauling him up. "But if you want some form of consolation, this isn't going to hurt you nearly as much as you hurt Ranma."  
Goosh! Cough! Cough! Gasp! "You got that right!"  
The four passengers inside the boat blinked as they recognized the voice, and Asuka quickly threw Snake back down.  
"RANMA?!?!"  
Thump! Tycho's unconscious body landed haphazardly on the edge of the boat, his head and arms falling limply on the rear seat cushions while his legs still dangled over the ladder mounted on the back of the vessel.  
The three women all blinked.  
Thud! A moment later Tycho's legs were lifted over the edge, and the driver's waterlogged body fell heavily onto the floor of the boat right next to Snake.  
A moment after that, Ranma's hand grasped the same spot Tycho's body had occupied, and the pigtailed man gasped for air as he pulled himself up.  
"Now Pant I can Pant understand leaving Pant ME behind, Pant but what's the deal Pant just leaving Tycho Pant out there to drown?" Ranma gasped out, shaking slightly as he hauled himself up with one arm.  
"OMIGOSH!! RANMA!!"  
"YOU'RE ALIVE!!"  
"ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!"  
Ranma twitched. "No, I'm NOT all right!" he snapped, glaring slightly as the girls grabbed hold of his arm and shoulders and pulled him up into the boat.  
Snake breathed a sigh of relief, both for his friend's well-being as well as his own (he DID like Ranma, no matter how willing he was to destroy something with the man still inside). Surprisingly, the pigtailed man didn't look too bad. Aside from a great many abrasions, several relatively shallow cuts, and minor burns all over the left side of his body, he looked just fine. Well, and he appeared to have almost suffocated, but alongside everything else, that seemed to be rather minor and temporary medical issue.  
Then Snake blinked as he realized that Ranma was carrying something in one arm. "Is that... a machine gun?"  
Ranma tossed the articulated weapon on the floor of the boat disgustedly. "Machine gun arm, actually. I took it from some guy after the sub exploded. But that's not really important."  
Brushing off the concerned questions and expressions from Sakura and Junko, Ranma stood up, walked over to Snake, and kicked him solidly in the side.  
"Oof!" Snake winced, and curled up slightly from the blow, but otherwise remained silent, knowing that he had escaped a far worse beating at the hands of the women.  
"Snake," Ranma growled, "STOP BLOWING ME UP!!"  
"Eh heh heh..." Snake chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head as he sat up. "Uh, sorry about that. Really."  
"I'm serious!" Ranma fumed. "The first time with the mines, at least you didn't pull the trigger yourself. The second time, it was your clone, and... well... technically, I blew myself up. But it was your clone's fault!" Then he crossed his arms over his chest. "I only survived because I couldn't remember how to arm the C-4 you gave me! If I had armed the stuff that was lying next to me..."  
Ranma suddenly felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, and turned, surprised, to see Asuka smiling at him.  
"All that matters now is that you're alive, Saotome." Still smiling faintly, she turned toward Junko. "Chikiko, get us to shore, preferably away from any dispatch units that will be looking for survivors from the sub's wreckage. Tekai, slap our gallant pilot around until he wakes up."  
Both the girls wordlessly went about their orders, and Ranma sat down next to Snake as the boat began to speed away from the patches of debris that had floated to the surface.  
"This still isn't over," Ranma muttered, "but with those documents I found, I should be able to get Yujikata out of Core for good, and probably jailed."  
Snake snorted. "Not executed?"  
Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. I don't think the proof is that strong, really. But hopefully it should keep him from giving any orders for a while."  
Snake rolled his eyes, and then patted the pigtailed man lightly on the back (being careful to avoid any injured areas.) "Ranma, Ranma, Ranma. So strong, so tough, and yet, such a sissy."  
Ranma glared at him. "Okay, fine. How would YOU deal with this, then?"  
Snake grinned.

Goda Yujikata drove slowly down the lightly wooded road to his home in the suburbs, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead even as the heavy air conditioning chilled the air inside the car.  
They knew. They all knew. They all knew, but they had no proof. Nothing but a ridiculous-sounding second-hand story. Yet it all made enough sense that they had tried to lock him down.  
He had gotten out, though. Dodged their questions and interrogations, deflected as much suspicion as he could manage, and called in several favors from his father's friends to ensure that he wouldn't be spending the night in a tightly monitored cell in Core HQ. It was all he could do, though; he was despised enough among the ranks that he was certain he'd never command a squad again, no matter how stupid and far-fetched the accusation sounded. Certain people would come forward and bring his record of non-leadership to light, as well as many minor screw-ups and examples of poor judgment; the remotest possibility of being an enemy agent was just the final nail in the coffin.  
No, he'd never be a part of Core again. But if he played his cards right, he could still live the rest of his days in freedom, rather than solitary confinement.  
Well, assuming the Freedom's Angels didn't deem him a now-useless security risk and have him assassinated.  
"It's all those damn terrorists' fault," he murmured to himself, swerving slightly along the empty road as he headed toward his private burg, paid for by his father's opulence and his over-inflated Core salary. "They tricked me into this... said that it was a simple deal... low-risk... damn them!"  
He slammed his fists down on the steering wheel ineffectually. "Well, if I run away now, then they'll know I'm guilty, and I'll have to hide forever... but if I stay out in the open..."  
Yujikata grimaced as the myriad of possibilities swirled in his mind, and sorely wished he had the presence of mind to stop at a bar on his way home.  
Unfortunately for the traitorous soldier, his lack of focus had extended to impair his driving ability. To be fair, it was dark out at this time of night, and this particular section of road next to a large park was sparsely lit, but still, he should have seen the large, fast-moving shape heading to intercept his car before it actually ran into him.  
CRUNCH!! Screeeeech!! "Holy &$!!"  
Yujikata cursed as his reflexes mixed themselves up, hitting the brakes as he also tried to turn back onto the road. This combination had the effect of causing his new Mercedes (his old one had been destroyed in the mysterious parking lot fire) to tilt over to one side, coming to a stop as it was perched just on the edge of its tires, just waiting for gravity to decide if the vehicle was to come to a rest in its normal position, or roll over onto its back.  
Smash! Really though, gravity didn't have a damn say in the matter, as something struck the bottom of the car and caused it to immediately fall onto its side, followed by the entire vehicle falling upside-down onto the grass patch next to the street.

Yujikata panted heavily as he struggled from his restraints, feeling dizzy from the sudden impacts. He was alive, however, and hadn't hit his head on anything as the car was tossed around.  
Getting his seatbelt off and getting down on his hands and knees, the suspended sergeant rolled down the passenger-side window and struggled through the opening, carefully looking for whatever it was that had attacked his car as he crawled onto the grass.  
Not seeing anything, he wiped some sweat from his forehead and massaged his shoulder as he stood up to observe the engine, where the first impact had struck.  
The damage was... ominous, if nothing else. Huge gashes appeared on the right side of the hood, and much of the area around it was caved in, as if he had struck a boulder... or perhaps as if a boulder had struck him.  
"Dammit, this is all I need," Goda muttered, turning around.  
"Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk..." a soft clicking noise came from Hunter's throat as the zergling advanced leisurely, his tail swaying gently back and forth.  
The sergeant gaped as he suddenly began stumbling backward, his eyes wide with fear.  
"Oh God! Oh God! I knew it! Those damn angels sent a mutant after me!" Yujikata hit a root with his foot and fell backwards, landing on his rear as blood red eyes bored into the pools of terror that had replaced his own. "D-Damn! No!"  
Hunter advanced some more, nearing the tree that Yujikata had fallen near as the man scooted backwards, away from him. Then the killer alien twitched one of its upper arms, and in an almost lazy show of lethality, stabbed the appendage at the adjacent tree trunk.  
Thwock! Chunks of bark and wood chips burst out of the gaping wound in the young oak, and there was a slight groan and much shaking as the abused tree struggled to remain upright with the vibrations traveling up to its branches, along with having much of its support torn apart for no reason.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH!!!"

Finally breaking the barrier of sheer terror that had formed in his mind, Yujikata screamed and ran into the park, stumbling over darkened benches and ill-placed bushes that had the misfortune to have been placed in the opposite direction from the DA's pet zergling.  
Not daring to look back, Yujikata saw some figures that were barely illuminated by a nearby streetlight, and lunged in their direction.  
"HELP!! HELP ME!! PLEASE!!" Almost out of breath, the traitorous soldier rushed up to the nearest one and was about to grab ahold of the man, when he realized that it was someone he knew.  
"H-Hey! You... You're the Colonel's son!"  
Kyle raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. I am."  
"And... And Ranma! Ranma, you're here! Thank God!!" Yujikata cried, falling to his knees.  
Ranma raised an eyebrow as well. "You're happy to see me? Didn't anyone tell you about the whole story with you being a traitor?"  
"It's all lies!" Yujikata gasped, throwing his hands up in the air. "I don't know what sonnuva bitch came up with that stupid story about getting a phone call from a terrorist, and they wouldn't tell me who, but I'm no traitor! I love my country! But that doesn't matter now!" He grabbed hold of Ranma's arm, and then pointed toward the interior of the park. "There's a monster after me! Some kind of mutant!"  
"ACTUALLY," Ranma said, punctuating the word as he snatched his arm away from the sergeant, "he's an alien, not a mutant."  
Yujikata blinked. "Wh... What?"  
Kyle shook his head and then took a camcorder out from where it had been secured inside his jacket. "You've been up to some very bad things, Sarge. It's time to pay the piper, and we're the collectors."  
Yujikata simply shook his head, his heart drowning in fear as comprehension began to dawn. "I... I **ORDER** you to go kill that... that THING!! Now!!"  
Ranma snorted. "Oh, well, if you ORDER us, then sure, we'll do whatever you say!" He crossed his arms over his chest. "I got the phone call, Sarge. And I found the papers you had in the donut box in your office. The jig's up."  
Rage, hatred, and sorrow were all drowned in fear as Goda's world came crumbling down around him. "You... You can't prove it!! Damn you!!" He began to crawl forward, as if he were going to attack the men. "You have the papers, not me! They're yours! And that story won't get you anywhere!" Tears began to stream down his face as the traitor lunged.  
Ranma halted his lunge by planting his foot in the man's chest, and then casually kicked him away, and Yujikata grunted as he landed a few feet away on the grass.  
"To tell ya the truth, you might be right," Ranma admitted, "but then again, **I'm** 100 sure you're a traitor. So I decided to handle this personally, without the whole 'due process of law' thing. It's easier that way."  
Kyle smirked as he lifted the camcorder. "Originally we were just going to shoot you and be done with it, but then Snake had an idea as to how we could profit from all this."  
"You... You can't DO this," Yujikata said, sobbing fretfully as he laid on his hands and knees. "You can't just... can't just kill me like this!"  
Ranma shrugged. "Well, technically, we're not the ones killing you."  
Kyle prepared to record as Ranma let out a shrill whistle.  
"Yo, Hunter! Supper time!"  
"Graaaugh!"  
"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

The next day...  
The Yujikata estate today mourns the loss of its youngest member, Sergeant Goda Yujikata of the Central Organized Response Echelon, commonly known as Core. Goda Yujikata was the son of Kumoji Yujikata, one of the most influential and respected senators in our government, as well as a personal friend of Prime Minister himself.  
The reporter gestured toward the proceedings, as a casket with the Japanese flag laid over it was hauled past. What makes this death noteworthy was that it happened entirely APART from the numerous deaths caused by the astounding terrorist attack just yesterday that took this nation's military forces completely by surprise. All accounts place Goda Yujikata leaving Core HQ long after the attack's mysterious conclusion, and the autopsy of the Sergeant's... sparse remains have turned up some very disturbing conclusions about the cause of death. Add to the fact that it was that very same day that an investigation was launched that suspected the recently deceased of treason, and this case goes from merely mysterious to downright surreal. The Yujikata family has denied any such links, and expressed great outrage at all implications or accusations of such.  
The camera zoomed out, and the picture shrank to a small box in the corner of the screen as a news anchor appeared on the screen. Thank you, Yamada. In other news involving Senator Yujikata, the senate was shocked today when he pushed and quickly passed a bill that reinstated the formerly disbanded Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. The bill disbanding them was one that Senator Yujikata himself had taken great pains to see passed, despite warnings from General John Remerick and the protests of a few other military leaders. When asked to comment on his recent change of heart, the Senator had this to say:  
I was blackmailed, you dolts! I received a video last night showing my son... MY SON being ripped apart by some kind of monster! They demanded that I write up and push this bill, or else they'd do the same thing to me! I demand that these murderers are punished! I'm certain that those idiots in the DAPC are involved, if not directly responsible! I demand vengeance for my son!  
The news anchor once again took over. Moments after this declaration by the senator, a case was drawn up to investigate Sergeant Goda Yujikata's death, as well the blackmailing of Senator Yujikata. It was then determined that because the case involved supernatural creatures, according to the senator, that the case would be immediately transferred to the newly reinstated Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. When asked about the case, Captain Asuka Takami had this to say:  
Ha ha ha ha hah!! Ha ha ha ha ha hah!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!  
Analysts are guessing that the captain is optimistic about the case. And now for the weather...

Alexandra Tokima grit her teeth as the forecaster began to drone, and the TV remote creaked slightly as her grip around it tightened.  
Wham! Slamming her hand on the observation table in the middle of the room, she raised a fist into the air. "DAMN YOU ALL!! THIS ISN'T OVER!! YOU WILL **PAY** FOR THIS!!"  
"P-Pardon..."  
The fiery rage in Alex's eyes subsided. "Hm?"  
"Please... quiet, please... Igov trying to sleep..." the armless cyborg explained miserably, lying flat on the observation table Alex was standing in front of.  
"Oh... uh, sorry..."

Terrorists killed: 25  
Russians annihilated: 31  
Robots 0wnz0red: 2  
Enemy vehicles downed: 2 (if you count the helicopter)  
Core vehicles lost: 23  
Core personnel wasted: 26  
Other personnel destroyed: 41  
Civilians slaughtered: 62  
Double-agents sliced, diced, and swallowed: Well, there's just the one

End Chapter 16 


	17. Culmination of the Expected

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

I'd just like to offer a comment to whoever it was who reviewed Nexus II and told me to stop trying to make my fics funny, because I'm not good at it: you're a bad man, and you made me cry!  
Also, for the person who asked for a page that offers character lists and bios, I'd like to say that I already have one, and it, along with all the others, is at my webpage  
And to all the people who complained about the immoral brutality in the last chapter: meh.

Guardian  
Chapter 17  
Culmination of the Expected

"Do we have a deal?"  
"...... I suppose. But this is... quite unsatisfactory."  
"It cannot be helped. We suffered a rather severe setback recently."  
"That is hardly an excuse! We're paying double what we used to!"  
"It's a simple purchase. Either you buy it, or you don't. If you want our weapons, you pay our prices. You HAVE other sources..."  
The Yakuza representative scowled. "We'll pay. But if your prices don't get better, we may have to stop being so generous in the future. You need us for more than just extra cash flow."  
The Freedom's Angel sergeant fought a grin. "Noted. I'll talk to my superiors about it. But I assure you, we're doing the very best we can."  
"That's what I'm afraid of," the other man grumbled. "The Yakuza will only support you terrorists so long as you have weapons and money to offer; once you are no longer able to meet our... 'business requirements', we may have to find...... other clients."  
The sergeant's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything, well aware that he didn't currently have enough firepower at his disposal to risk angering the Japanese mob. "Very well. I'll be on my way, then."  
BLAM!! "Gurk!"  
The Yakuza and Angel both jerked around in surprise as a shotgun blast tore into the latter's bodyguard, sending the man's corpse hurtling into the wall of the alleyway.  
The terrorist's eyes widened, and his face went pale. "No... it... it's you!"  
BLAM!!

The Yakuza flinched at the second gunshot, and backed away several steps from the sight of his business partner's corpse as it fell to the ground.  
Snake walked calmly into the alleyway, his still-smoking shotgun resting over his shoulder. Then he looked at the second terrorist's dead body, and grinned.  
"W00T! Headshot!"  
The Yakuza representative gaped, then shakily pointed at the police officer. "Wh-Wh-What are you waiting for?!" He shouted to his own bodyguard behind him, "Shoot him!"  
Thud! The man declined to reply as his unconscious form fell face-first onto the concrete, and the remaining criminal barely suppressed a squeal of terror as he saw a second police officer with a pigtail standing behind him, arms crossed over his chest condescendingly.  
The Yakuza clutched the briefcase that held the costly plastic explosives to his chest. "Wh-Who are you people?"  
Cha-chak! Snake cocked his Pancor Jackhammer, and smiled pleasantly as he aimed it at the remaining criminal. "We're just your friendly neighborhood state-sponsored thug-killing squad!"  
"Th-This is insane!" The Yakuza protested. "You just killed two men and assaulted one more! Do you even have a warrant to arrest us?"  
"I gotcher warrant right here!" Ranma said, rushing up and striking the man in the stomach, and then slamming his head down once he had doubled over.  
Thack! The briefcase hit the pavement right before the man did, and the improperly locked sealing clips came loose, causing wrapped-up bricks to bounce and scatter across the width of the alleyway.

Ignoring the groan from the beaten Yakuza, Snake grinned and picked up one of the explosives. "Top-quality C-4. Nice. I see the Angels haven't stopped their arms trade despite being out a whole lotta arms."  
Ranma picked up the briefcase that the terrorist had been holding, and carefully shook it several times to get most of the excess blood off before opening it.  
"Whoa! Check out all the cash!"  
Snake looked over to where Ranma was observing the case's contents and nodded happily. "Sweet! That's gonna buy a nice piece!"  
Ranma blinked. "Huh? But shouldn't we turn it in to the proper authorities?"  
"Hello!!" Snake shouted in Ranma's ear, causing the other man to wince, "Is that a badge on your shirt, or isn't it? We **are** the proper authorities!"  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "So... we turn it in to... us?"  
The lieutenant nodded.  
"And... it's okay to use it for personal expenses?" The pigtailed cop continued, scratching his head. "I mean, the way you say it, makes sense, sort of... but I'm almost positive there's something wrong with all this."  
Snake snorted. "Well, what else are we going to use it for? It's not like it's good for evidence; all those involved are already dead."  
"No, only half of them are dead," Ranma corrected him, pointing to the crooks who were merely unconscious.  
Snake blinked, then shrugged. "Well, okay." Then he raised his shotgun and pointed it at the nearest Yakuza lying on the ground.  
"ON SECOND THOUGHT," Ranma said loudly, pushing Snake's shotgun back down, "let's just take the money and leave."  
"That's the spirit!" The lieutenant said brightly, slapping Ranma on the back. Then he raised a fist into the air.  
"THE DEPARTMENT OF ABNORMAL PHENOMENAE CONTAINMENT IS BACK IN TOWN!! PAR-TAY!!"

Rattattattattattatta!!  
The sound of automatic fire momentarily rose above the screams of terrified citizens coming from the subway station as two thugs bearing the cobra and barbed wire bicep tattoo ran from the stopped train, both carrying Russian surplus rifles in one hand and sacks of miscellaneous stolen goods in the other.  
"Outta the way, chumps!" One man shouted, releasing another spray of bullets into the hanging sign that marked the escalator up to the streets.  
The other terrorist grinned as people rushed for the walls and ducked their heads down, clearing the way for the pair of gunmen. He took immediate advantage and rushed up the moving stairwell, followed momentarily by his partner, who had stopped to put a burst into the police kiosk at the edge of the station where the unarmed security official was huddling for his life.

The first terrorist shoved his rifle in his sack as he emerged from the station, not wanting to attract so much attention in an open area. Following the same plan he had carried out half a dozen times before, he moved through the crowd of confused and cautious pedestrians standing outside the station entrance and searched for a slow-moving car among the relatively free-flowing traffic that would be easy to take once he flashed his gun at the driver.  
He had just located such a vehicle when his partner tapped him on the shoulder, having already concealed his own weapon. "Hey man, check them out! We got time for a little fun?"  
His partner frowned as he turned toward his companion. "Of course we don't have time for... for......"  
He trailed off as he started to stare himself at two beauties, a luscious blonde and a busty redhead, were nervously discussing something several meters down the street. They were both wearing form-fitting spaghetti-strap tops and miniskirts, and had such innocent and frightened expressions that it seemed they were begging for trouble.  
The apparent leader of the two thugs licked his lips. "Well, it's been a hard day. I guess we can spare some... 'leisure time'. But we're gonna have to make it REAL quick, eh?"  
"I copy that," the second man said, following as his companion began to sprint down the sidewalk.  
The young women apparently noticed their approach, and quickly turned and fled. After only a few paces, however they turned into an open factory loading gate that was shielded from view by a large concrete wall, perhaps under some impression that the two criminals wouldn't notice their hiding spot.  
The lead thug grinned, and put some extra energy into his run as he turned into the gate. "SURPRISE!!"

Junko winked at the two terrorists, leaning backwards on the left side of the Firestorm tank. "Yeah, I'll bet it is."  
The criminals gaped, too stunned to even remember they possessed weapons of their own (as if it would have made a difference) as the massive turret gun of the assault tank lowered itself such that they could see right down it's imposing barrel.  
Sitting on the right edge of the tread shielding, Sakura giggled, and made a "V" sign with her fingers. "Peace!"  
KA-KROOM!!

This is unit dispatch seven, requesting armed backup! Suspects are heavily armed and heading towards heavily congested areas! We will not be able to contain civilian casualties if the suspects aren't stopped immediately!  
This is dispatch five! The suspects have opened fire on pursuit units! They have a damn machine gun mounted on the back of that truck! Halting pursuit!  
No! We have to stop them before they hurt innocent bystanders!

CRUNCH!!  
The entire front half of the police car crumpled like a wad of tissue paper as the vehicle smashed into the utility pole, having swerved onto the sidewalk to avoid the lethal stream of .50 caliber lead coming from the heavy machine gun mounted on the back of the old pickup truck rocketing down the street.  
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" The terrorist standing behind the heavy machine gun mount in the back of the pickup laughed as the wind whipped through his hair, savoring the sight of several police vehicles plowing into the side of the road to avoid getting shot up.  
"What's the matter, pigs?! You giving up already?!" Grinning, the truck's gunner began to open fire at random points all over the street, sending screaming pedestrians onto the ground as a bullets sprayed overhead.  
Rattattattattattattattattatta!! "Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah! Whaddya think o' that?!"  
Largely ignoring his companion's psychotic antics, the slightly saner driver of the truck weaved hastily through the fairly thick traffic that struggled to get out of the battle car's way.  
Seeing an intersection's traffic stop ahead, the driver gave a sigh of relief as he sped forward, glad that the light had just turned green for him (he didn't want to risk hitting another car at high speed, but it would have been kind of embarrassing for an armed terrorist vehicle to stop for a red light).  
Feeling assured in their escape from their pursuers, the terrorists barrelled through the intersection, well aware that the heavier traffic further toward the center of the city would complicate the authorities' chase.  
SMASH!!!  
Unfortunately for the rather reckless pair, an even more reckless driver shot out into the intersection at the last moment, clipping the very end of the truck bed as it sped by at nearly twice the speed of the terrorist vehicle.  
Screaming in surprise, the gunner was killed instantly as he flew headfirst into the engine of a stopped car, while the driver lived to suffer in prison, his vehicle being knocked on its side by the impact rather than crashing into anything else.

Looking back at the crash, Tiro grinned, then turned forward. "Nice one! You totally nailed them!"  
Tycho blinked. "Nailed who?"  
"..... Uh..." Tiro scratched his head. "That truck back-"  
"There was no truck," Tycho said sternly, not taking his eyes off the road. "How could there have been a truck? The light was yellow."  
Now Tiro blinked. "But... no, it was-"  
"THE LIGHT WAS **YELLOW** WHEN I STARTED ACROSS THE INTERSECTION!! **REMEMBER**?!" Tycho shouted, still facing strictly forward.  
"Er... yeah. Yellow. Right. I don't know what I was thinking..."

Defense armor unit T-1-B781 activated. Activating subroutines... failed. Rerouting command routine input mode... input diagnostic complete. Please upload command subroutines now.  
The large M-3 unit, which was a heavily armored, low mobility defense drone sat motionlessly on its heavy triangle tread base, its twin Gatling gun arms hanging limply at its sides in the inactive mode, and the red sensor light of its optical visor darkened.  
"Heh heh heh heh!" Ranma chuckled evilly as he typed in a precise series of numbers into the taskbar at the top of the laptop screen.  
"Heh heh heh heh..." Kyle's chuckling was only slightly more subdued as he held a flashlight up to the "Killer Robot Subroutine Programming For Dummies" book he was reading; the hidden warehouse was too dark to read in otherwise, and the two infiltrators didn't want to risk turning on the light.  
"Okay, the next line is 'IF: attack process.hurt, THEN: initiatesuicide.boom. Got that?"  
"Got it!" Ranma said, typing in the last lines of code. "Okay then..." Activating the execute command, Ranma quickly disconnected the laptop and stood up, moving into a defensive stance in case something went wrong.  
Vrrrrrrrr... A light humming noise came from the T-1's internal computer as it began to warm up, and the head jolted upward as power was restored.  
T-1 UNIT B781 ACTIVATED. COMMAND SUBROUTINE 7-2-1 INITIALIZED. SUBROUTINE OVERRIDE INITIALIZED. UPLOADING NEW PROGRAM DATA...... COMPLETE. ENGAGING PATROL SUBROUTINE 4-2.  
The large defense robot's torso swiveled around on its base, and the automaton stopped dead as its sensor visor locked onto Ranma and Kyle, who were staring up at it expectantly.  
TARGETS SIGHTED. SCANNING... TARGETS IDENTIFIED: "GOOD GUYS". INITIATING PROGRAM 3.79.  
The robot raised one of its gun-arms into the air, then jerked it forward in a clumsy imitation of a wave.  
'SUP, DAWG?  
Ranma and Kyle grinned and touched fists as the defense droid swiveled around, searching for other targets.  
"Hey! What's going on down there!" A lone security guard at the disguised Wraith warehouse burst into the main storage room, and immediately ran up to the railing of the upper catwalk he was on, scanning the relatively large room with his flashlight. "I know I heard something! Come out!"  
TARGET SIGHTED.  
"What?!" The terrorist on guard quickly focused in on the sound, and oriented his flashlight accordingly.  
Needless to say, he was quite surprised when, instead of seeing some crooks, fellow terrorists, or government spies crawling around the interior of the warehouse, the first hint of movement he saw was a blood red sensory visor staring up at him.  
TERMINATION PROGRAM 110 INITIATED. Whrrr...  
The guard swallowed deeply as the Gatling guns slowly began to spin.  
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! BraZAZAZAZAZAZAZOW!!  
The lone terrorist died instantly as twin streams of lead cut his torso apart, spreading blood, gore, and bits of shattered bone all over the wall behind the security catwalk.  
As soon as it had confirmed the target's destruction, the T-1 robot turned toward the many inactive defense droids lined up from one end of the warehouse to the other.  
DESTROY ALL ROBOTS! ANNIHILATE ALL ENEMIES! KILL! KILL!! KILL!!!  
BraZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZAZOW!!

Outside one of Wraith's smaller branch offices, a young terrorist trainee (classified as an "intern" on Wraith's payroll system) nervously stepped up to a luxury sedan parked in one of the executive spaces, his hand shaking as he placed the key into the door's keyhole.  
Right outside the building's main entrance, a Wraith executive, and one of the Freedom's Angels' primary financers waited patiently, relatively far away from his vehicle as the younger man unlocked the door and slid inside.  
Such precautions were commonplace among the higher-ups in the criminal and pointlessly militaristic organizations; those below you, and those among your peers who may have felt threatened by your actions were always trying to catch you with your guard down to remove obstacles to their advancement. Car bombs were extremely rare in the Japanese underworld, but not unheard of, and certain people, for whatever stupid reason, seemed to enjoy mimicking gang tactics from American shows and movies (which is why the unlucky "car starters" were also required to try the cigarette lighter before stepping out of the vehicle).  
The younger terrorist had more on his mind, however, as he prepared to insert the car key into the ignition. FA resources and personnel had begun dropping like flies recently, and while no one could pinpoint the cause among the wildly flying rumors, two things were clear: Freedom's Angels were being specifically targeted, and whoever was killing them off liked explosives. A LOT.  
Closing his eyes and mentally repeating for the thousandth time that he didn't get paid enough for this, the intern inserted the key and turned it.  
Vr-Rrrr...  
KA-KROOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Eyes shooting open in shock, the young man gaped as glass poured down from the sky in a sudden torrent, having been blasted out of the windows by huge gouts of flame as explosions rocked the office building above.  
His boss, fortunately, or unfortunately, or whatever, was at the very base of the structure, and was pulverized instantly as multiple bombs tore the foundation and supports apart, causing the lower levels to burst outward like over-inflated balloons.  
Wincing as chunks of concrete and glass dashed across the hood and cracked the main windshield, the intern shifted the vehicle out of park and quickly accelerated backward, trying to avoid the torrent of debris and dust that poured forth as the entire building began to go down.

The young terrorist, though he did survive, didn't completely avoid getting caught beneath the wave of dust and destruction, and never saw the bursts of confetti, released by special explosives at the top of the devastated structure, rain down festively before settling among the shattered concrete below.  
Nor did he see the large banner that had likewise been released, fully deployed and slowly wafting down such that all could see its message proudly displayed in large red font.  
WELCOME BACK DAPC!

"Yes... uh huh... I know about that... really? Yes, that's all true..." Asuka absently repeated empty confirmations into the phone receiver as she finished signing some paperwork. "I'm sure it was just horrible... that's true, but no civilians were killed, and all enemy targets were silenced. You have to give him that."  
After sealing the requisition form into an envelope, she took hold of the receiver wedged between her ear and shoulder and paid more attention to the man on the other end.  
"The buildings can be rebuilt, sir. With any luck, the deaths of the terrorists will preserve the lives of far more innocent people... yes sir, I'm well aware that we've failed to properly arrest a single suspect in our recent proceedings. Is that a problem? ...... Well, our procedures don't work like the normal police. We have a policy of resorting to force as soon as a danger is confirmed... well, I don't know exactly what constitutes a 'danger' to my men, sir, but they are fully authorized to use their own judgment... yes, even Snake, the crazy one... well, not exactly, no, it wasn't my idea. But we've been doing a spectacular job so far...... well I would have to assume that's because you have to pick up the mess left over each operation or terrorist attack... okay, fair enough, there HAVE been many more DAPC operations than FA attacks over the last week since we took over... yes, all right, there haven't been ANY attacks from the terrorists, but I'd like to think that's due at least in part to our efforts in rooting them out, something that your precious Core divisions have had very little success in."  
Asuka maintained a perfectly neutral expression as the voice on the other end of the line became far more irate.  
Switching the receiver to her other ear, she continued speaking calmly. "Well sir, I'm sure you're aware that everything you've complained about is completely within the legal spectrum of our operations as outlined in our revised jurisdiction protocols... that's right, everything... yes, even the confetti bomb... I have no excuses for their taste in jokes sir, but we did take out a large terrorist structure...... yes, I know. It belonged to Wraith."  
She frowned. "I thought everyone knew that Wraith was a cover for the terrorist operations... well how do you THINK they developed biogenetic weapons? That stuff is hardly available on the black market... yes, as a matter of fact I am mocking you... I mean that with all due respect, of course."  
Moving the receiver away from her ear for a few moments, Asuka quickly scanned a few of the documents lying on the desk in front of her. Then she put the receiver back to her ear.  
"As I'm sure you're aware sir, section 9 of our new operating protocols clearly states that because of the often unpredictable and unidentifiable nature of many of the threats that qualify as 'abnormal phenomena', DAPC personnel are advised to use their own judgment and proceed with any means they deem necessary to neutralize that which they deem a threat, and are exempt from due process in law in dealing with those threats, as well as consequences of damage done and procedures violated, save in the process of friendly fire or the loss of civilian life. The incidences you've listed all fall within the realm of that article."  
She stopped to listen for a moment, then smirked. "Why yes, now that you mention it, terrorists and giant evil corporations that support terrorists don't qualify as 'abnormal phenomena' at all. But oddly enough, section 9 is actually applicable toward, as I just stated, 'that which they', meaning we, 'deem a threat'."  
Asuka's smirk grew to a full smile as she heard the man's response. "Why yes, I suppose that does sound like an excuse to do whatever we want. You'd think governor Yujikata would have enough legal experience to notice a little loophole like that in his policies."  
Turning around, Asuka scooted up to sit on her desk, dangling her legs over the edge. "I don't know what to tell you sir, we're operating as best we can under the restrictions we've been placed under. As of now our objectives stand to reduce the capabilities of the Freedom's Angels so that they never muster the strength and resources to launch an attack like they did two weeks ago. To that end, we're to investigate and neutralize sources of income, weapons production facilities, weapons development facilities, financers, key personnel, officers of different branches who seem more interested in hindering our efforts than destroying the enemy..."  
Asuka raised an eyebrow as she heard the other line disconnect. "Hello? Sir?"  
Smirking, she then replaced the receiver on the phone base and left her office, snatching up a special document along the way.

"So all I'm saying is that I don't think flamethrowers should be considered inhumane weapons; I mean, when you think about it, what weapons ARE humane, really?" Snake leaned down over the table and pulled back his pool que, closing one eye as he imagined the kinetic path of the ball on the other end.  
Thack! Clack Clack Thump  
"Nice shot," Ranma murmured, picking up his own que and preparing for his turn. "I guess I kind of see your point, but that's sort of an argument against all weapons rather than for flamethrowers."  
"Don't be ridiculous," Snake scoffed as Ranma leaned over, "if you were to ban weapons, how would we kill people?"  
"Some might say that's the whole point," Junko mused, watching the game as she lounged on a sofa next to Sakura.  
Ahem!  
Ranma, Kyle, and Snake immediately dropped their pool ques and turned around at attention as Asuka cleared her throat noisily. Sakura and Junko got off the couch and stood up straight, and Tycho and Tiro, who had been playing on a Playstation in the corner in relative silence turned such that they could continue playing while still hold their captain in their field of vision.  
Asuka stood before her division, arms crossed under her breasts, with a file clasped loosely in one hand.  
"So. When did we convert the lobby into a gaming lounge?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Just now. Snake decided to use that money we found for some remodeling," Ranma said bluntly.  
The police captain frowned. "I was only in my office for an hour!"  
"I know," Kyle said, "Saotome's got this crazy super-strength thing going on. He moved all this furniture here in no time."  
"Oh, whatever," Asuka mumbled, rolling her eyes. "I've got some bad news."  
Everyone blinked, and general tension rose.  
Asuka opened her mouth to speak, then stopped, frowned, and shook her head.  
"Sorry. Force of habit. I've got some good news." She held out the folder she was carrying in front of her, not inviting anyone to take it, but to contribute significance. "We just recently got our report detailing our resources for our re-establishment. We've been given a massive starting budget to facilitate our operations and resupply our depleted vehicle pool and armory."  
Snake blinked. "But... we don't have a depleted vehicle pool and armory. We just brought back all the stuff we took when they laid us off. How do they think we've been wiping the floor with the hidden terrorist cells and Wraith establishments during the last week?"  
"THEY haven't a clue." The police captain said wryly. "All they know is that this building didn't contain the necessary arms to accomplish that back when everything was shut down." She opened the folder and took out a single sheet of paper, waving it around. "So we have a LOT of money and nothing to do with it."  
There was complete silence in the room as the announcement sunk in.  
Tycho was the first to speak. "Wow. We're going to need a bigger TV."  
"And maybe a second couch," Sakura mused, "over there, to take up that space next to the water cooler."  
"Which should be replaced with a mini-bar," Kyle added, "with those really expensive tiny packets of honey-roasted peanuts."  
"No, a FULL BAR!" Snake shouted, pounding his fist on the table. "And a cruise missile mobile deployment platform!"  
"Hey, let's build a dojo next to HQ! We don't use most of the parking lot, anyway!" Ranma said brightly.  
"Ooh, can we get a holodeck?"  
"We can build a merry-go-round!"  
"Let's get one of those hanging television systems with the screens on all sides, like in basketball stadiums!"  
"I want a pony!"  
A large sweatdrop slowly rolled down Asuka's head as the requests quickly moved from the gratuitous and wasteful to the outright surreal. "Uh... look, I'll tell you what. I'm just going to put some aside for any additional department expenses, and just split up the rest into our bonuses, alright?"  
"YES!!" Snake shouted happily, driving his fists into the air. "Kegger party in the men's locker room!"  
"All right!"  
"Sweet!"  
"Wait! Let me save my game first!"

Asuka's face darkened as her company quickly evacuated the room with Kyle and Tiro carrying large steel containers over their shoulders (where they had kept those stashed so that she hadn't previously noticed, she had no idea).  
"Maybe I didn't have it so bad, being unemployed," she mused bitterly, setting the folder down and beginning to add up the figures.  
Ahem!  
Asuka blinked, then turned and raised an eyebrow at Junko, who still stood at attention.  
"And what are you waiting for, Chikiko? Even if I had wanted somebody to stay, you wouldn't be my first choice."  
"That hurts, Captain. Really. Right here," the redhead put her hands over her heart and feigned chest pain, leaning over with a "kicked puppy" expression.  
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Well, you have my attention. What is it?"  
Straightening up again, Junko pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. "I've just been going through some of the papers concerning our re-establishment, and happened upon this little tidbit." She waved the paper back in forth in the air as she continued. "APPARENTLY, we're all supposed to undergo, and pass, a psyche evaluation previous to our restarting regular operations. Putting aside the fact that we already HAVE restarted regular operations ahead of schedule, it seems that sneaking this into our re-establishment protocols was the Senator's last-ditch effort to screw us up."  
"Wh-What?! Let me see that!" The police captain shouted, snatching away the paper and then scanning it quickly.  
Her eyes widened, and then the blue-haired woman turned back toward Junko. "Why is this the first I've heard about this? For that matter, how did you see this document before I did? Have you been going through my office?"  
"That's not important," Junko said dismissively, pulling herself next to Asuka and putting an arm behind her back. "What IS important is that we pass, or else all sorts of losers have permission to do all sorts of nasty things to our department, like replacing our beloved lazy whack-jobs with straight-laced, hard-working drones sworn to serve and protect the peace."  
"Yes," Asuka deadpanned, "that would be just **terrible**."  
Either missing or ignoring the sarcasm, the redhead nodded seriously. "Right. And let's face it; if we undergo a straight, honest evaluation, we're never going to make it."  
Asuka sighed and rolled her eyes. "Don't you think you're overreacting JUST a little?" She asked, turning away and heading toward the men's locker room to deliver the news. "I mean, sure, the guys are pretty soft in the head, but they're hardly certifiable psychotics."  
She was about to knock on the double-doors leading to the locker room when Ranma's voice came from within.

"I dunno, guys..."  
"Aw, c'mon! You have to do it! Think of it as an initiation ritual!"  
"But... I just don't know about this..."  
"Oh, don't be such a baby! It's simple! All you have to do is drink a whole bottle of spiced rum, and then disarm a live Claymore anti-personnel mine!"  
"Yeah... but I don't drink. And besides that, I don't really know how to disarm one of those when I'm sober."  
"Don't worry about it! It's easy! Besides, all the cool police officers do it!"  
"Well...... if I have to do it to be cool..."

Asuka turned back around toward Junko, her left eye twitching. "So, I assume you have some sort of plan?"  
Junko grinned. "Well, of course I do. We can pass the evaluation easily... if one of US is doing the evaluating!" Smiling victoriously, the redhead pulled out a small card and lifted it toward the ceiling triumphantly. "Junko Chikiko, registered and licensed therapist and psychiatrist, at your service!"  
"............" Asuka stared mutely at the other woman, then smiled slightly. "Okay, okay, very funny. Nice joke. Now seriously, who can we get to do this for us?"  
Junko blinked, and lowered her arm, falling out of her pose. "No, seriously. I'll do it."  
"YOU?!" The captain scoffed. "There's no way you're qualified to judge ANYBODY'S mental health! Hell, you're one of the officers I'm worried about passing this thing!"  
Looking rather miffed, Junko crossed her arms under her breasts. "Why, I'll have you know that-"

BOOM!!  
"AAAUGH!!"  
"MEDIC!!!"

Sweatdrops rolled down Junko and Asuka's heads as Sakura rushed past them and into the locker room.

"Oh my God! Ranma! Ooooh..." Thud!  
"TWO MEDICS!!!"

"Anyway," Junko said, moving away from the locker room with her superior officer in tow, "I've taken the classes and I even have a degree; believe me, I know this stuff."  
Asuka raised an eyebrow, not really buying it. "Then how come you're doing dangerous police work? It's not exactly in the same ballpark as therapy."  
Junko sighed, and rubbed the back of her head anxiously. "Well, I used to do therapy and psychiatry as a career. And I was pretty good at it. Especially with men; I've gotten REALLY good at figuring out what they're thinking."  
"I'm fairly certain you didn't have to tell me that at all," Asuka said dryly. "Continue."  
"One patient I had, though, used to tell me all about how he felt his career as a police officer was lacking in the glory, danger, and excitement that it should. He would always tell me stories he had heard about officers in more dangerous countries going above and beyond the call of duty and becoming heroes, and he had always wanted to do the same." Junko sighed wistfully. "I really admired him, and connected with him very strongly, in a more meaningful way than I connected with my other patients..." Then she cleared her throat, blushing. "And in a way that got me fired after his wife found out. Anyway, after I had a really bad mark on my record as a shrink, I thought a severe career change might compensate, and, well, the old guy's stories stuck with me." She smiled. "And here I am!"  
"That's a horrible, horrible story," Asuka deadpanned, "but it makes way too much sense to have been made up. I believe you. Do you really think you can get us through this?"  
"THERE YOU ARE!!"  
The two women whirled around at the voice to see a groggy figure drunkenly stumbling down the stairs.  
"Seras?" Asuka said, blinking. "Oh, so you're here already. I'd forgotten about you."  
"Forgot about me?" The technician said irritably. "That's not all you forgot! Do you know what time it is?! You're..." Frowning, he looked down at his watch, then looked back up. "Two weeks late for work! A lame excuse about your alarm clock not going off isn't going to cut it this time, missy!"  
Asuka and Junko sweatdropped, and the former cleared her throat.  
"Tuko... we were disbanded."  
Seras blinked. "Disbanded? No, I'm pretty sure I would've heard about something like that."  
"I'm not joking, here," the captain explained, exasperated, "we were all laid off a while ago. Then there was a major terrorist attack on the city, which we stopped. Then we blackmailed a senator into setting us back up."  
"And WHY is this the first I've heard of it?" He said irritably.  
Junko scratched the back of her head. "Well... I kinda forgot you existed, actually."  
"That's not really important now," Asuka said, stepping in front of the redhead. "How could you not have known? At the very least, you should have received a letter in the mail."  
Seras blinked. "Ah, yes. The mail. I should probably go home sometime to get that stuff."  
"'Go home sometime'?" Asuka asked. "How long have you been up there in the lab?"  
The technician frowned, and massaged his head as he tried to think of the answer. "How long ago was Christmas?"  
"Okay... WHY have you been up there so long?" Junko asked incredulously.  
"Because I have some respect for the LAW, that's why!" Seras said proudly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I haven't been sober enough to drive since '97!"  
Then he frowned. "Wait... does all this mean that it WASN'T Yamma who stole my stash of booze?"  
"That would be correct," the police captain said honestly.  
Seras' frown deepened. "Uh huh... excuse me for a moment, I have to go turn something off."

Turning away as the DA's chief science technician dashed up the stairs, Asuka continued right along with her previous line of questioning. "So, do you really think you can get us through this?"  
Junko opened her mouth to answer, then closed it, and then looked worriedly up the stairs, where Seras had retreated.  
"Well... a slim chance is better than no chance, right?"  
"Gotcha. Do what you have to do."

"Well, well, well. Igov, you HAVE been through quite a scrape, haven't you?" Yoshi Konta smiled and shook his head, stretching his latex gloves over his hands. "Both arms ripped off, a broken optics relay, a shattered spinal cluster, and... what was that last one?"  
Igov grunted as he laid still on Yoshi's examination table, strapped down firmly (not that he possessed the ability to move had he not been restrained). "And respiratory unit has become degraded from tar buildup."  
"Ah, yes, now I remember, although that's not a result of being inside an exploding submarine." Then he stopped and idly rubbed his chin. "But it would be SO ironic if someone who was 70 machine died from cigarettes, wouldn't it?"  
"Hmph," Igov snorted, not particularly enjoying the little man's chosen topic of conversation, "the way Igov is going, will die long before cancer takes hold." His expression turned from irritated to sullen, and Yoshi felt genuine regret and sorrow coming from the man. "So many men... soldiers that trust in Igov... follow to their deaths. So many, wiped out in single blow!"  
To his surprise, Igov heard Yoshi chuckling, and scowled fiercely. "What is funny?! They die for your cause! Cause they not believe in! Cause they fight for, because IGOV fight!"  
"Oh, nothing," the mad genius said, still smiling. "Although I find it refreshing that you seem to actually care. What are soldiers but pawns on a board in the great game of war?"  
The Russian general snorted. "Igov can only accept sacrifice of pawns in victory; if all men are dead, and battle is lost, Igov has naught to fight for."  
"Point taken," the diminutive scientist said, shrugging. "Now, as for replacement limbs; I was thinking laser-guided chainsaws, but I can't build a variant that can morph into normal, functional hands. What do you think?"  
Igov raised his head to look at the other man, and to his horror, discovered that the scientist's expression was completely serious. "Igov thinks you can take chainsaws and shove up you-"  
"Okay, no chainsaws," Yoshi interrupted, sighing regretfully. "Well then, how about a Gatling gun and a Tesla claw?"  
Igov blinked his good eye. "You have Tesla technology here?"  
"Ah, yes. The latest in electro-magnetic emissions tech, all based upon the brilliant, sci-fi-ish theories of the late Nikolai Tesla." Yoshi grinned and turned toward one of his computer. "I thought you might like it."  
After typing some calculations into the computer, a large platform with several articulated mechanical devices hanging from it lowered itself until Igov was within reach of its many tools.  
"Now, you might feel a slight sting..." Yoshi stepped up next to the table, and was about to take control of the platform command console, when he stopped and turned toward Igov instead. "Actually, I forget, can you even feel pain?"  
Igov shrugged. "Nerve clusters are based deep below outer layers of skin and armor. Only the most severe of wounds will hurt."  
"So, technically, yes?" Yoshi simplified.  
"Correct."  
"Oh..." the scientist shrugged and turned back toward the console. "In that case, I take it back. This is going to hurt a LOT." Beep!  
BrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRAAAAAAK!!

"Okay," Junko said, chewing on the end of her pen. "Snake, I've diagnosed you as being psychotically aggressive, needlessly violent, and possessing a level of careless acceptance toward murder that easily qualifies as an emotional disorder. You're a certified psychotic maniac."  
Snake frowned from where he laid down on the lounge chair. "Uh... not that I'm trying to tell you how to do your job... I mean, you ARE the expert here... but aren't you supposed to ask me some questions before you make a judgment like that?"  
The redhead rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. Do you feel that my diagnosis is inaccurate or incomplete?"  
"Now you're doing it on purpose," Snake said, glaring at her.  
"Okay, okay." Junko sat back in her own chair and began to scribble on her notepad. "Tell me about your family."  
"Well... my dad was a Japanese businessman who was transferred, through a long series of office hijinks that would make an excellent Dilbert strip, to an executive position in an oil company in Texas, in the U.S.A. That's where I got my last name from. My mother was a Rabbi's daughter who he met in a bar one night; the same bar where he spent every night because he didn't know enough English to ask for anything other than internationally known alcohols. They were both drunk enough when they talked that they didn't realize they couldn't have understood each other regardless, and as things often happen in the South, I was conceived in a Motel 6 and born just a month after a traditional Texas-style shotgun wedding."  
Junko stared, completely overwhelmed, and then looked down at her notepad, which was still mostly blank.  
"Okay... so... would that make you... Jewish?" The redhead asked curiously.  
Snake nodded. "Yeah, though I try not to make a big deal out of it."  
Junko frowned. "But you said your family celebrates Christmas. You even took a trip back to the States last year for it."  
The weapons expert blinked. "What does Christmas have to do with my religion?"  
"Well... it's just... uh... nevermind," Junko muttered, scribbling some more in her notebook. "How is your parents' relationship? And how was it when you were growing up?"  
"It was, and is, just fine," Snake said, shrugging. "They're almost incapable of understanding each other; the only English words my dad knows are numbers, so the only questions my Mom could ask that he had any hope of comprehending were requests for money. Neither could understand the other's complaints or problems, so they never fought with each other or held conversations where someone could say something wrong. They got along great."  
Junko frowned. "But you can speak Japanese and English, right?"  
"Well, sure, but I wasn't about to go messing up their marriage with communication."  
"Hmmm..." Making a note to check on the viability of Snake's family experience, Junko decided to move on.  
"Okay. Next, I'm going to show you some ink blots, and I want you to tell me the first thing that pops into your head."  
Taking out her cards, she lifted the one on top, revealing a splotch of black that looked vaguely like a butterfly.  
"That reminds me of Saotome getting nailed in the gut by that claymore the other day," Snake said immediately. Then he chuckled. "Boy was he mad. Had to pluck out the shrapnel shards himself because we were all afraid he'd kill us if we got too close."  
"Yes, yes, very nice," Junko said, frowning as she wrote in her notepad. Note to self: put something humiliating in Snake's psyche record. "On to the next one." She then raised the next card.  
"A thermite bomb toasting a trench encampment."  
"Hmmm... okay. Next?" Junko raised the next card.  
"A machine gunner tearing apart the ranks of advancing foot soldiers."  
Junko frowned, and her eyes narrowed. "Okaaaay..." then she took something out of her pocket and held it up. "Next?"  
"An artillery-based tactical nuke annihilating a small military port." Snake said, again without hesitation.  
Junko twitched. "Snake, this is my driver's license."  
"Yes, I noticed. And it's a very unflattering picture, by the way," he noted bluntly. "What's with your hair? Did you get in an accident during your test?"  
"Yeah. Okay. We are SO done here."

Kyle scratched his head, and his face scrunched up in thought. "Okay... ink blot."  
Junko sweatdropped and put down the card. "No, you're supposed to tell me what you think of when you look at it."  
Kyle frowned. "I think of ink. Ink blots. Because that's what I'm looking at."  
Heaving a sigh, the redhead tried to think of a better way to approach the subject. "All right... what shape is the ink blot in?" She raised the card again.  
The blond man looked bemused as he stared once again at the patches of black. "That would be... the shape ink makes when it's splattered on a piece of cardboard."  
"Argh!" Junko grit her teeth as her hand massaged her forehead, and Kyle began to look uncomfortable.  
"I'm sorry, am I doing this wrong?"  
"Just... just look at the ink, and tell me the first thing that comes to you that ISN'T directly related to ink."  
Kyle nodded, and stared hard at the ink blot once again. "............................................."  
"Kyle?" Junko asked after a while, starting to worry.  
"Darn! I almost had something, and you interrupted me!"  
Junko sweatdropped yet again. "You know what? Why don't we wrap this up? Go and get the next guy."

"When I was just a baby, my father engaged me to two different girls. I grew up completing quests of great courage and difficulty, with the ultimate goal of perfecting the art of combat, so that I might become the world's strongest fighter. When I was sixteen I contracted an ancient curse from a dark, forgotten land to the west, and then went back home, only to discover my family had all but abandoned me to this evil, sadistic witch who took every opportunity to ruin my life. Then she got kidnapped by space aliens, and I had to save her. That sucked."  
Junko's eyes narrowed. "You're making this up as you go along, aren't you Tiro?"  
"Not at all," the lecher insisted, looking indignant, "I made it up a long, long time ago."  
The redhead began to massage her head again. "I think maybe I've bitten of more than I can chew, here."  
Tiro shrugged apologetically. "Sorry. It's just that my life up until I joined the DAPC has just been so boring, I keep making up exciting stories about my past to tell people. At some point though, I kind of forgot how it really happened. I'm sure it was boring, though."  
"Fine, fine," Junko muttered, scribbling in her notebook. "Tell me about your family. Your cousin is an evil terrorist mastermind, correct?"  
"That's right. It's funny, really. Alex and Mia used to be really close. They never fought, had all the same interests, and were actually kind of apathetic and self-absorbed. Then, at some point, they just split like crazy. Mia took hold of this whole 'helping people' ideal and turned into a bit of a party girl, and Alex became completely obsessed with obtaining personal power and fighting the system." Tiro sighed. "And look where they are now. Terrorist boss and military Colonel."  
Junko frowned, and looked at Tiro suspiciously. "You didn't... you know... DO anything to them when they were young that might have scarred them for life, did you?"  
"Wh-WHAT?!" Tiro shot up into a sitting position at the question, his indignation having reached the point of anger. "What kind of sicko do you think I am?! They're my cousins!"  
"It would hardly be unheard of," Junko clarified, though she looked appropriately embarrassed at having brought it up, "and they ARE really hot."  
Tiro snorted and stood up. "I may be a lecher, but not a deviant! I keep my focus on **human beings** who are **outside my own family** between the ages of **18 and 30**!"  
"And women, right?" Junko asked, noticing that he forgot to mention that.  
"Before my third bottle of hard liquor, yes!" Tiro finished up. "I've done some bad things in my life, but incest is NOT one of them!"  
"Okay, okay, I believe you," Junko said, sweatdropping. "I'm sorry I said that. It was very insensitive." She sighed. "All right, we're done here. You can go."  
Tiro blinked, immediately losing his angry indignant pose. "Wait... aren't we going to make out first?"  
Junko looked at him oddly. "No... what gave you that idea?"  
The lecher frowned. "So this whole 'psychoanalysis' thing isn't just an excuse to get an hour alone with all the guys?"  
"No," the redhead deadpanned, making a mental note to remember that angle for later, "I'm trying to honestly do a job here."  
"Damn it! Now I owe Saotome 1000 yen!"  
"Oh, just get out."

"So why is it, exactly, that you have such a fondness for mechanical transportation in general?" Junko asked, tapping her pen against her notepad.  
Tycho sighed, and tried to get comfortable as he lay back on the seat. "Well... I've always imagined that people are my enemies, and that society in general is trying to swallow me. Mechanical transportation offers a way to move faster than the human body is otherwise capable of, and allows the passage of otherwise indomitable obstacles, so I guess I latched onto cars and other vehicles as sort of an escape from my subconscious fears about the world around me."  
"Wow... Tycho, that's... Wow." Junko said. "Thank you! This is VERY helpful!"  
"Really?" The driver asked, smiling, "'Cause you know, I was totally lying!"  
Whump! Junko fell face-first onto the floor.  
"So... are you seriously not sleeping with any of your patients, or was that just an excuse to brush off Yamazaki?"  
Junko groaned.

"Tuko, I've noted an... unhealthy attachment you seem to have to alcohol. Very unhealthy, actually. Obviously, you suffer a complete psychological addiction to alcoholic beverages, but the sheer extent of the addiction leads me to believe you've transcended modern definitions of the term." Junko smirked slightly at her impersonation of her instructor back in her college days, stringing out the most complex terms she could think of.  
The technician just rolled his eyes at Junko's evaluation. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Addiction this, problem that. I've heard it all before. I DON'T have a problem! I can quit any time I want!"  
Junko frowned. "First put down the scotch, then say that."  
Seras blinked. "What? What do you mean, put it down?"  
"Put the bottle down. On the floor."  
Frowning, the technician did as she said, holding the bottle in his hand such that it rested on the floor of the office.  
"Now let go," Junko said, sweatdropping.  
Seras blinked in total incomprehension. "What? What do you mean by that?"  
"Manipulate your fingers and arm such that no part of you is in contact with the bottle," she said dryly.  
Once again, Seras gave her a quizzical look. "But... the bottle isn't empty!"  
"JUST $&#! PUT THE SCOTCH DOWN FOR ONE MINUTE!!" Junko shouted in frustration.  
Frowning, the alcoholic genius stared hard at the bottle on the floor, still within his grip, trying to think of a solution to this latest problem.  
"Okay, I think I can meet you halfway on this." With those words, Seras quickly upended the bottle and guzzled down its contents. After he was finished, he made a show of placing the bottle back down on the floor and then letting go before resting his hands on his chest.  
Junko's face darkened, and she wrote down the appropriate notes. "Fabulous. Such excellent self-control."  
Naturally, he missed the sarcasm completely. "Yeah, I told you! I don't have a problem!"  
"When was the first time you tried alcohol?"  
Seras' happy, drunken expression faded, and he sighed wearily. "That night... I'll never forget that night. It was the night of THE EXPERIMENT."  
The technician sniffled slightly, and Junko looked on, alarmed. It was the first time she'd seen any emotion from the man other than alcohol-induced satisfaction.  
"My father... Doctor Davenport Tuko the Third made a fatal error in the calculation of thermal energy released from a quantum reverse-cosine plasmite core during the moment of equilibrium with xenon disulfite gases, and suffered a huge explosion in his lab. He forgot to carry the 1."  
Junko straightened, and her expression became more serious. "I see. Your father died in that explosion?"  
"Oh, no," Seras said, shaking his head, "the explosion just knocked him down. He'd been through enough of them that he knew how to roll with the impact, you know?" Then he sniffled again. "But the explosion blasted open the cage where I kept my mutant man-eating parakeets, and he suffered a slow, painful death being pecked to death by the cutest little multicolored birds!" A tear rolled down his cheek as a sweadrop rolled down Junko's head. "I couldn't help myself! Overcome with grief, I entered the local tavern, and drowned my sorrows in poisonous swill! And then, after two bottles of brandy, one of gin, and I don't even KNOW how many shots of whiskey, I swore to give up the path of the mad scientist plotting world domination and absolute power, and devote myself to modern, practical scientific practice! After a few more shots, I eventually decided on medicine as a career!" Seras let out an earnest sob. "And I've been like this ever since!"  
Junko patted the technician lightly on the back as his tears slowly abated, murmuring soft words of comfort.  
"Okay... we all better?" Seeing Seras nod, Junko smiled. "Okay then. If it's not too painful, could you tell me about your mother next?"  
"Don't have one," he said immediately, "I'm a genetically enhanced clone of my 'father'."  
"G-Genetically enhanced?" the redhead stuttered, immediately nervous. The only experience she had with clones and mutants had been the Freedom's Angels' creations.  
"Oh yeah! It's great! I'm stronger, smarter, and faster than my old man was! Plus I can spit poison! Wanna see?"  
"Eew! No!" Junko shouted, recoiling. After writing down a few more notes, she sighed. "So you still manage to cling to the pitiful illusion that you really don't have a drinking problem, huh?"  
"No, actually, I think I do have a problem," Seras muttered bitterly, sitting up. "I'm fresh out of scotch. I'm outta here."  
Junko just groaned some more.

"Okay then, first off: who are you again?" Junko asked the tall, lanky man lying on her lounge chair.  
The dark Latin man rolled his eyes. "Yamma. Yamma Gordon."  
"Okie-dokie. And what is it you do around here, Mr. Gordon?"  
The lab assistant gave her an annoyed look. "I've worked here longer than you have!"  
"Yes. Yet you've had, like, a hundredth of the character focus I've gotten." Junko made some marks in her notepad. "Answer the question, please."  
"I'm a lab assistant, medical professional, and general service technician under Seras Tuko," Yamma groused.  
"I see. What made you choose a career like that?"  
"The people at immigration who were willing to accept small bribes," he said bluntly. "I didn't come to this country because I liked the view; I came here because it's out of my enemies' reach."  
"Whatever," Junko said, writing down some notes. "You speak the language very well, by the way."  
Yamma couldn't help but smirk. "Yes. Although I can't read Japanese kanji at all. You people have the most senseless system of writing imaginable."  
"I blame the Chinese, myself." Junko made some more marks in her notepad. "Okay, we're done here. You can leave."  
"What? That's it?" Yamma looked surprised, and a little disappointed. "Aren't you going to ask me questions about my past and my family and eke out a long, overdramatic backstory?"  
"Ordinarily, yes," the redhead admitted. "Now get out."  
As the former undertaker sulked out of the room, Sakura entered to take his place, laying down on the lounge chair just as all the patients before her had done.  
"Who was that guy?" The blonde woman asked, convinced now that he was out of earshot.  
"His name was Yam-something. I dunno. Nobody important. Anyway, let's start by talking about your childhood..."

"What do you mean you don't want to talk about your family?" Junko asked irritably. "I'm trying to do my job, here!"  
Asuka blushed, a little ashamed that SHE, of all people, appeared to be hung up during the evaluation. "Look, it's... it's just not easy for me to talk about."  
"Then try harder," Junko suggested unhelpfully.  
The bluette groaned. "Isn't there ANY way you could just skip this? I thought in therapy you're supposed to avoid topics that make patients uncomfortable."  
"This is a psychiatric evaluation, which, for all you know, is very different from normal therapy," Junko insisted. "Besides, when someone doesn't want to talk about it, it just means that they really want to talk about it, but it's hard for them."  
Asuka frowned. "Is that true?"  
"No. But most people assume it is when I say it."  
Rolling her eyes, Asuka sighed. "Well, me and my family... don't get along. I've made a lot of choices they don't approve of."  
Junko raised an eyebrow. It was hard to imagine the straight-laced, in-charge police captain as a wildcat teenager. "Choices? Like what?"  
"Like doing well in school, staying away from substance abuse and gangs, becoming a police officer, reading books, that sort of thing."  
"........." Junko stared at her superior officer strangely. "And they DIDN'T approve of these things?"  
"No," Asuka replied bitterly, "they were really upset when they found out I was in training to become a cop. I had to evade hired thugs who tried to take me back home."  
"WHY?" Junko asked eagerly, leaning forward.  
"See, THIS is why I hate talking about my family." The blue-haired woman sighed and turned her head so that she was facing away from Junko. "I can't tell you that. Me and my family don't get along. At all. Now let's drop it."  
Junko frowned, then shrugged and wrote down some notes on her pad. "Okay, fair enough. So, you hot for Saotome?"  
Whump! Asuka immediately fell off the edge of the lounge chair and onto the floor.  
"Take your time," the redhead advised her, "no rush."  
"Wh-Wh-What?!" Asuka stood up in a huff, flushing badly. "Am I 'hot for Saotome'? What kind of a question is that?!"  
Junko raised an eyebrow. "Well, it WASN'T rhetorical. And I don't hear an answer."  
Gritting her teeth, Asuka fell back onto her chair, arms crossed over her chest. "Ranma Saotome is my subordinate, and I do NOT fraternize!"  
"Still not hearing an answer," Junko teased, smirking. "But that's okay. Let's forget about it." She wrote down some more notes as Asuka fumed silently. "When was the last time you had sex?"  
The captain's eye twitched. "And I suppose you HAVE to have an answer to this, too, huh?"  
"Hmmm," Junko twirled her pen in her hand. "Haven't had any in a while, huh?"  
"Well, I... uh..." The bluette frowned. "How long is a while? Like, not for you, but for a **normal** woman."  
Junko smirked. "A month."  
Asuka kept frowning. "Okay... how long is a LONG while?"  
"Maybe it's best we not go there," Junko murmured, writing down some more notes. "Why do you have a hard time with men?"  
"Well, I'd LIKE to think that they're intimidated by my intelligence and independence," the police captain said seriously. "But as I've become more and more cynical, it's starting to seem like they can just sense that I'm not easy."  
"Easy to get in the sack, or easy to approach?" Junko asked seriously.  
"Little of column A, little of column B." Asuka sighed. "I'm not TRYING to push guys away, and I'm not into that femi-Nazi 'men are scum, let's burn our bras' bull, but this is how I am, and I'm not going to change just to get a man!"  
A sniffle was heard from the velvet armchair next to her, and Asuka turned to see Junko, surprisingly enough, wiping a tear from her eye.  
"Captain... that was... **beautiful**..."  
Asuka blinked in surprise, and then blushed a little bit, embarrassed. "Well, it's... it's not all THAT impressive..."  
"No, I mean it!" Junko insisted, grasping her superior's shoulder. "You do what you have to do and don't take any nonsense from anyone! You're an inspiration to women everywhere!"  
Asuka's blush deepened. "Oh, come on! You're embarrassing me!"  
"And women everywhere will look on in silent admiration, alongside their loving husbands, as you grow old and die as one of those lonely hermit ladies who fills the void in her life by keeping several dozen cats!"  
The police captain's blush died, and she turned to look at Junko with half-lidded eyes. "Say what?"  
The redhead snorted and fell back into her chair, writing some more in her notebook. "Well, come on! 'This is how I am'? Get a grip, girl! I mean, haven't you ever wondered why Tiro's the only guy who's tried to nail you over the last... I dunno, how long? Six months? Eight? Help me out here."  
Wordlessly, the blue-haired woman got up off of the lounge chair and cracked her neck to either side.  
Junko blinked. "No, wait, we're not done yet. I still have to do the ink blot tests."  
Instead of sitting back down, or giving a verbal answer at all, Asuka instead grabbed Junko by the front of her shirt and lifted her, with one arm, out of her chair and into the air.  
"Hey! W-Wait! What are you doing?! ACK!! OW!! OW!! OW!!"

"So, I assume that the bandages on your arm are from that little claymore incident the other day?" Junko asked, writing furiously in her notepad.  
Ranma sighed and fingered the bandages wrapped liberally around his right bicep and forearm. "Nah, those are all under my shirt. This is from getting Hunter out of the holes he keeps digging around the house."  
Junko blinked. "All things considered, I think that digging holes in your yard is a fairly minor problem."  
Ranma frowned. "But he's not digging holes in my yard, he's digging them in the HOUSE."  
"...... Like, through carpet?" The redhead asked, mystified.  
"No, through concrete," Ranma muttered. "He likes to break into the basement and burrow into the foundation to sleep and regenerate his wounds. It's totally screwed up the plumbing and the wiring, and he tried to eat the last electrician that came in to try and fix it." He sighed, and then turned toward Junko. "So, as long as we're on the topic, what happened to your eye?"  
"Uhm... nothing that can top that," the redhead mumbled. She went back to writing. "So, tell me a little bit about your family background."  
Ranma sighed and bit his lip in thought, noticing that Junko hadn't stopped writing so that she listen fully to his answer. "Well... my relationship with my mom... er, essentially I don't HAVE a relationship with my mom. All I really know about her is that she's really into traditional values and her ideas on manliness are kind of screwy."  
"Fair enough," Junko mumbled, not having even slowed down in her writing, "what about your father?"  
"Ah, yes. Pop really knew how to wing it on the whole 'parenting' scene," Ranma mumbled bitterly, "took me out away from my mom when I was a baby and dragged me along through the wilderness. When I was seven he taught me to dirty myself up and beg for money and food in town so that he wouldn't have to hunt or forage every night."  
Junko stopped writing and turned her full attention to her patient. "So do you just not get along with your father, or are there deeper issues here?"  
"The second one," Ranma said, "especially over the last few years. After keeping such a tight leash on me until I was a teenager, I found out that he had already planned out the rest of my life, too. Not planned well, mind you, but he had certain expectations of me which I wasn't told about, and didn't really want to deal with." Then he snorted. "And that's all beside the cat thing."  
"Hmm. Cat thing." Junko went back to her writing. "So your father was controlling?"  
"Tried to be. He wasn't very good at it," Ranma said irritably. "I mean, when I was just a kid, I did what he said 'cause I didn't know any better. Pops never realized that would change when I got older, so a lot of the time he'd just yell at me and get angry when I didn't do what he wanted."  
"Hm. He ever hit you?" The redhead asked, her attention on her notepad.  
Ranma blinked. "Sure. All the time."  
Junko's pen slipped, and she ended up with a long, black slash across the page of her notebook. "What?! He beat you on a regular basis?!" The redhead shouted incredulously. The idea of any father doing that angered her, but the idea of **Ranma**, of all people, being subjected to such abuse seemed impossible to her.  
In all fairness, she had no way of knowing that a mere fraction of Ranma's life story easily transcended everything that the science of modern psychology was capable of dealing with. She really had no idea what she had gotten herself into.  
Ranma, for his part, crossed his arms over his chest in a huff. "He didn't beat me THAT often," he said indignantly, confusing the context in which Junko was using the word "beat".  
"Did your father drink a lot?"  
"Whenever he could spare the cash. Plus whenever he forgot he couldn't," the pigtailed man explained ruefully.  
"Did he beat you only when he was drinking, or all the time?" The redhead asked with sincere concern.  
Ranma just blinked. "Pops never beat me when he was drunk. Only when he was sober. It was actually kind of funny; he liked to go out drinking, but he'd get mad sometimes because he knew he couldn't beat me if he did." He chuckled at some of the fonder memories he had of his father.  
"You poor, poor man," Junko said softly, placing her hand on him. "It's all right, let it all out."  
Ranma's chuckling trailed off with a nervous squeak. "Uhm... J-Junko? Could you, you know... not touch me? Please?"  
The redhead shook her head. "Now Ranma, I want there to be a bond of trust between us. A serious, strong friendship in which you feel that you can tell me anything. We can't have that trust if a little physical contact is going to freak you out."  
"Okay, I guess that makes sense..." Ranma blushed as he rubbed the back of his head. "But can you at least touch me somewhere else?"  
"Spoilsport," Junko muttered, taking her hand off of Ranma's groin.  
"Right... so, anyway, my pop was a real jerk. He engaged me to TWO different women! Without even telling me!"  
Junko blinked. "Really, now?"  
"Yeah. And then he drags me off on some stupid trip to make me into the world's best martial artist." Ranma grimaced with frustration. "And THEN he takes me to China-"  
"Where you contract some kind of ancient curse before meeting your fiancee, who happens to be evil incarnate," Junko rattled off, going back to her writing.  
"What? How did you know?" Ranma asked, surprised and confused.  
The redhead rolled her eyes. "Next time check your story with Tiro first, okay?"  
The pigtailed cop frowned. "What does Tiro have to do with this?"  
"Nothing. Forget I said anything," Junko mumbled, paying even more attention to her notes.  
Ranma's curiosity finally peaked, and he tried to crane his neck to see Junko's notes. "What ARE you writing, anyway? That's a lot of stuff..."  
Junko blinked, then flushed slightly. "Oh, nothing! Just normal psychiatric notes! Boring personality differentiations, that sort of thing." Smiling, she returned to her writing.  
Sobbing in earnest, the hapless patient's floodgate of emotions proved too much for him, and the lonely man threw himself into the therapist's arms, his sorrow drowning in lust, and the chiseled features of his perfect face disappearing against her soft, swollen bosom. "Please! Oh please!" He cried, "Take me here! Show me what love is! I must know it! Show me what that cruel, controlling wench refuses me!" The therapist's painted red lips curled into a knowing smile, and she took the fallen martial artist by the back of his head, gently pulling him further into her inviting cleavage. "It's all right," she said, her husky voice dripping with barely contained lust, begging for his touch! "Allow me to teach you EVERYTHING you need to know..."  
Ranma watched in confusion as Junko became more and more absorbed in her notes, to the point that a little bit of drool leaked out of the corner of her mouth. "Hey, Junko? Junko!"  
The redhead blinked, apparently snapping out of some sort of reverie. "Uh? Oh! Sorry. Where were we?"  
"That's pretty much up to you..." Ranma began uncertainly.  
"Hmmm..." Junko tapped her pen against her notepad as she tried to think of a new topic to breach. "What are you looking for in a love life?"  
Ranma blinked. "A... love life?" He frowned and looked up at the ceiling as he thought about it. "I... I don't really know. In my experience, a love life is the sort of thing that kind of sneaks up and attaches itself to you, and you have to try and get it off before it kills you."  
Junko blinked. Twice. "So... you associate romantic relationships with... parasitism? That's not a very healthy outlook to have."  
The pigtailed man sighed. "I guess that sort of thing can be nice, if you're with the right person. But personally, I'd rather not take the chance. I barely survived my teenage love life."  
"I see..." the redhead murmured, writing furiously once more.  
Then she stopped, and frowned. "Hey, what's a good word for, uh... firm? Or strong, maybe?"  
"Firm and strong?" Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Uh... sturdy, I guess?"  
"Ah! Perfect! Thank you!" Junko quickly went back to writing.  
Ranma twitched. "Are you... doing a crossword puzzle?"  
"Crossword puzzle?" Junko asked, confused. Then she looked down at her writing, and her eyes narrowed. "Uhm... crossword puzzle. Yes. Yes I am."  
"Okay, I'm gonna leave now," Ranma muttered, getting up off the lounge chair.  
"Wait!" Junko shouted, "First, give me a synonym for 'thrust'!"

Junko turned off the tape. "As you can see, Saotome clearly has issues with his family that's caused him to assert his independence before he was ready, and without any sort of preparation from his parents. This emotional abandonment, combined with his first sexual/romantic experiences being quite negative and frustrating in nature, have left him emotionally crippled and nearly incapable of maintaining a normal, healthy relationship as we know it." Then she gestured to a gigantic book on the floor next to her conspicuously labeled Saotome Ranma's Marital Status. "And I don't know WHAT the hell to do with this thing!"  
Sakura, Snake, Tycho, and Asuka all looked at each other.  
"Okay, well... what should we do?" Sakura asked uncertainly.  
"Nothing, obviously," Junko snapped, her hands on her hips. "Because-and let's face facts-with the exception of Miss Tekai, Saotome's the most stable one of you whackjobs!"  
Kyle chuckled. "Yeah. I liked the part where the Captain was strangling you!"  
Junko twitched in irritation.  
"I liked the part where the mutant worm thing with all the teeth came out from under the couch," Snake began excitedly, "and then Sakura stepped on it's head by accident and killed it! That was awesome!"  
Asuka slammed her hands down on her desk, halting the jovial conversation. "I'm VERY glad you're all enjoying yourself, but we have a problem here!" She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "Junko, are we going to pass this thing or what?"  
The redhead sighed and sat down on the massive tome behind her. "Well, not honestly, at least. But I'll see what I can do." Then she smirked slightly. "You know Captain, I'm surprised. If we fail this thing and the whackos get kicked out, then you might have a chance of getting some respectable officers around here."  
"Hmph." The blue-haired woman turned away, looking miffed. "Yeah, so what? 'Respectable officers' probably wouldn't last an hour on one of our jobs."  
Snake grinned. "Lose your sanity, save your skin!"  
Kyle blinked, then chuckled. "Hey, that's neat! Core should use that as a motto!"  
"No, they already have one," Snake said, waving him off. "It's 'shoot first, ask questions later.'"  
Sakura looked thoughtful. "What's our motto?"  
"'Shoot first, then break for lunch.'"  
"Be that as it may," Asuka interrupted, "Chikiko has some work to do. I want this thing over with, win or lose, by the time Ranma and Tiro finish walking Hunter."  
"Hey, I've got a question first..." Tycho began somewhat nervously, capturing everyone's attention. "Do you... uh... show all of the videos of your sessions to people?"  
"Yes," Junko answered immediately.  
"You mean, even-"  
"Yes," Junko answered again, cutting him off.  
"Don't worry, we all know about your 'little problem'," Kyle said none-too-reassuringly, patting the driver on the back.  
"I'm sure it happens to lots of guys," Snake said, also patting Tycho's back, and obviously trying not to laugh.  
"Hey, speaking of freakish mutations," Junko said idly, not noticing as Tycho winced miserably, "what's keeping Ranma and Tiro, anyway? Did Hunter get loose?"  
"Nah. They just said they were going to bring him somewhere else. Just for a change of pace."

"Oh, dear mother of God... how did this happen?" Alexandra muttered miserably, her head hanging as she trudged through the hallways of Wraith Labs HQ. "We've seen the peak of our power, with vast steel behemoths that completely dwarf modern war machines, all reduced to rusted scrap! Everything we planned for! Everything we built! Shattered! Crushed! Annihilated!"  
Ignoring the people that stopped to stare and listen to her personal monologue, Wraith Labs' president pushed leadenly into the meeting room where her assistant was waiting.

"Ah! Alex! So, how'd it go?" Yoshi Konta asked pleasantly, cup of coffee in hand.  
Standing next to him, Bei gave a much more timid greeting, bowing deeply. "Miss Tokima... what are your orders?"  
Giving Yoshi a disgusted look, Alex sighed and slumped down into a chair. "The council is MOST displeased. With everyone. But especially Yuchtzky. Some of them don't feel that he's worth keeping around any more, and the others are indifferent at best."  
She massaged her head. "I was barely able to deflect blame from myself. As it is, my superiors feel that the irreplaceable loss of resources from the Vortex battle submarine, combined with the recent string of severe losses to our installations and Wraith's own facilities was a sure sign to lay low and began building our power again, primarily by funneling resources to our operations in other countries which have been more successful."  
"Most unfortunate. I assume the research and development budget with be the first to get cut?" Yoshi asked, idly sipping his coffee.  
"Naturally," Alexandra said, getting even more upset that the bio-geneticist was, as usual, completely calm in the face of complete disaster. "Your little pet projects will have to end, Konta. And you'd better stay on-task from now on if you want to keep your job; you haven't had nearly the success in creating weapons that Igov had."  
"Or the failure in utilizing those weapons," Yoshi said smugly, attention focused primarily on his coffee.  
Alexandra fumed, but held her temper in check. "Speaking of our resident Communist General, how is he doing with his new limbs?"  
Yoshi shrugged. "We won't know until I finish installing them."  
Alex blinked. "Wait... you started that yesterday. You're still not done? How long is the operation supposed to take?"  
Yoshi frowned and put down his coffee. "Well... somewhere around... an hour and a half, actually."  
Alex's eyes bulged. "Then why aren't you done yet?!"  
Yoshi chuckled and took another sip of coffee. "Funny story, actually. You see, I was about half-way done yesterday, and cutting into his armor-segment spinal column with a low-intensity laser. Just then I had to go to the bathroom, and I knew that the laser would take a few minutes to make any progress, so I left to relieve myself. THEN, when I was in the bathroom, I remembered that I had forgotten to visit the bank this morning like I had promised my niece, and immediately left to make a deposit for her. And then-"  
"Wait," Bei interrupted, "you mean you left while the laser was still boring into Yuchtzky's spine?"  
"Well, sure, in HINDSIGHT it's obvious that I should have turned it off first," the diminutive scientist said in annoyance. "Now will you let me finish? Traffic was pretty bad, and there was a line, so it took me two or three hours to get my banking done. And then, right as I was leaving, I remember that I'd forgotten to clock in this morning! I mean, really, all this panic and mayhem that's been occurring recently has been quite stressful; I suppose it's no wonder I've been so absent-minded."  
Alexndra twitched, and a vein popped up on her head.  
"Anyway, so there I was at the bank, realizing that, as far as my time card is concerned, I never showed up today. So I just decided to go home early."  
Then he took another sip of coffee, unaware or apathetic of the incredulous stares he was getting from the two women. "Who is the **cretin** who replaces the normal blend with decaf, anyway? I swear, this is like the sixth time!"  
"KONTA!!" Alex screamed, her teeth grinding. "What is WRONG with you?! Is Yuchtzky even still alive?!"  
Yoshi blinked, apparently surprised at being yelled at. "Beats me. This is my day off. I just stopped by to drop off some of my notes to Yamada, and I ended up catching you on your way out."  
"GET YOUR **SORRY** ASS BACK IN YOUR LAB AND FINISH THE &!$!&# OPERATION, YOU SLIMY LITTLE TOAD!!!" Alexandra screamed, looming over the little man with a red aura blazing around her.  
Yoshi blinked, then frowned. "Can I finish my coffee first, at least?"  
"!#$&$#)!!$#!!!&$(!&#&!!"  
Bei winced and shied away toward the corner as Alex's demands degenerated into a string of obscenities.  
Yoshi sighed. "All right, fine. But you have to say 'please'."  
"I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THIS COMPANY!!" Alex shouted, holding her hands in the air around Yoshi's head, as if she was moments from strangling him. "YOU DO WHAT I SAY!!"  
"Hmph." The diminutive genius turned away, his nose in the air. "If I'm going to work on my day off, the LEAST you could do is say 'please'. Or let me have my coffee."  
"BUT... YOU... NO... I... LATE... STUPID... CAN'T... STILL... LEFT..." Alex began to get dizzy as she tried to restore rational thought while still riding on all her adrenaline.  
Finally, she slumped back down into her chair, utterly defeated.  
"You can finish your coffee first."  
Yoshi grinned. "Thank you!" Slurp!  
Then he turned toward Bei. "So! Seen any good movies lately?"  
"AAAARGH!!" Grabbing her assistant by the arm, Wraith Lab's president stalked out of the meeting room and down toward the main parking garage.

"M-Miss To-Tokima! My arm!" Bei yelped like a wounded puppy as she was tugged along helplessly down the hall.  
"Oh... sorry," Alexandra mumbled an apology as she released her subordinate, and continued stalking down the hall. The recent event had already worn her patience thin, and the very LAST thing she needed today was to have to deal with her least favorite top scientist.  
Of course, finding a large group of armed guards standing in front of the entrance to the parking garage didn't make her day much better.  
"What the hell is going on here?" Alex asked, not in the frame of mind to drop into her usual "super-sexy-woman-in-control" mannerisms.  
The unofficial commander looked relieved as he saw the shapely brunette stomping up the corridor. "Ma'am! It's an emergency! Some kind of alien monster thing is in the parking garage tearing everything apart!"  
"Well that's just perfect," she muttered dryly. "And have you taken the necessary measures?"  
"Yes Ma'am!" The commander said eagerly. "We just moved a light gun squad in to deal with the threat, and we're waiting here to rush in should anything happen to them!"

Rattattattattattattatta!!  
"Sweet mother of God! It's not even slowing down!!"  
"Just keep shoo-GYAAUAUAglk!"  
"It's no good! Run! RU-gyack!"  
"AAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAH!!! SOMEBODY HELP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! GYARGH!! GWAAAAH!!"

Alex and Bei sweatdropped as the screams from the other side of the corridor wall were silenced.  
"Ma'am?" The commander asked uncertainly. "Should I continue to send small squads of lightly-armed men in to secure the area one at a time?"  
"What the hell. Knock yourself out." Alexandra turned away. "Come on Bei, we'll go out the back way."

After watching her leave, one of the guards turned toward the commander. "Geez, what's HER problem?"  
"Not a clue."

"OH GOD!! IT'S CLAWS CAN CUT STEEL!! ARGH!!"

"Okay then! Squad six, you're up!"

"WELL?!" Asuka asked impatiently, tapping her foot on the floor. "How did it go?"  
Junko blinked, and turned away from the mirror where she was applying makeup. "Oh! It went fine! It's all taken care of!"  
"What do you mean it's taken care of?" The police captain said, frowning. "Did we pass or didn't we?"  
"I told you, it's all taken care of!" Junko said irritably. "PROVIDED you get off my case so I can get to my date with that guy at the Records Admissions and Approvals office!"  
The blue-haired woman twitched, and held her face in her hands as Junko rushed out of the women's locker room. "Jesus... what the HELL did she do?!"

(The next day...)  
General Remerick shook his head ruefully, his hands steepled under his chin. "They actually passed. Completely."  
Mia nodded, sweatdropping slightly. "Yes, they did. Granted, one of their own officers did the evaluation, so the whole thing has a huge 'conflict of interest' flag, but the bottom line is that there are now several pieces of paper that say that the officers of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment are completely sane and mentally capable of continuing active duty."  
Remerick sighed. "Well, I'm not **really** surprised. And, in some small way, it's probably a good thing we still have those idiots around."  
Colonel Tokima smirked. "Agreed, Sir. Though interestingly enough, one of the SWAT teams that recently underwent a psyche evaluation after killing one of the carrier mutants in a residential area failed miserably."  
The American raised an eyebrow. "You don't say?"  
"Oh, yeah. It was just supposed to determine if combat with the mutants had any substantial psychological effects we need to compensate for, but as it turns out, they all suffer from severe emotional disorders, psychotic urges, and alcoholism."  
"..............." Remerick was silent for a long moment, and then he fell back into his chair. "Now, we KNOW the DAPC cheated, right?"  
"Technically, we're just pretty sure," Mia corrected. "It could have been a mistake. Technically."  
Remerick let out a heavy sigh, and then glanced to a photo that lied on his desk from when it was delivered a week earlier. It was a photo of an office building, a civilian structure with civilians inside, being shelled and blasted apart on the day of the Vortex attack.  
The American picked the picture up, and then shoved it and the entire pile of papers it was on into the trash. "Well, then clear them all for duty and warn our squads to stay away," the general said. "We all owe them that much, at least."  
The Colonel smiled. "Yes, sir."

Terrorists slaughtered: 87  
Bots scrapped: 29  
Perfectly able officers unjustly committed to an institution: 8

End Chapter 17 


	18. The Vacation

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Playing Republic Commando for the fourth time through has added significant military data on tactics and movement to my neural databanks. Information that will prove vital to future chapters and their description and detail.  
Or it would, anyway, if Snake ever used squad tactics instead of killing everything himself.  
Speaking of snakes, I'm not sure if anyone gets it yet, but I don't include the running-gag brain-eating worm thing in the final kill count. Ever. They kill one every chapter; what's the point?

Guardian  
Chapter 18  
The Vacation

WARNING... NEURAL INTEGRITY UNSTABLE... MAINTAINING NETWORK SURGE... CHARGING...  
Somewhere in his subconscious, Igov was vaguely aware of a grating, shrill electronic voice coming from above him, followed by a slight stinging sensation in the back of his head.  
A pause. The voice came again.  
NEURAL INTEGRITY AT 62 AND FALLING... COMPLETE NEURAL FAILURE IMMINENT.  
The announcement would have startled him, surely, were he aware enough to attach emotions to the situation at hand. Then new voices penetrated the fog of his mind.  
"I TOLD you we should have done this earlier, Professor. His brain can't take it anymore!"  
"Yes, and I told YOU to wait. The life support functions were near the point of total decay when we opened him up."  
"Wh-While that is true, Professor Konta, they DID still work. I'm still not sure that his new regulators will be able to properly interface with the biological components."  
"And THAT is why you're a lab assistant and I'm the mad genius creator of my own mutant army. Hold that there, please."  
"Well... even so... most of the damage was your fault."  
Whack!  
"Ow!"  
NEURAL INTEGRITY AT 51 AND FALLING... COMPLETE NEURAL FAILURE IMMINENT.  
"Professor, Yutchzky's vitals!"  
"I heard the blasted speaker **just** as well as you did. Now shut up and begin the system restart."  
"But... NO! We can't! You didn't even-"  
Thwap!  
"Will you shut up and do as I say? I didn't spend two whole days putting this Red rustbucket back together to lose him now! Turn the bloody man on!"  
CYBERNETIC REVIVAL PROCESS INITATED. WARNING... NEURAL INTEGRITY IS BELOW THE MINIMUM ACCEPTED LEVEL TO SUCCESSFULLY WITHSTAND FULL RESTART. ABORT RECOMMENDED.  
"See? SEE! I told you that we-"  
"If you do not silence yourself at ONCE, Doctor, and continue with the operation, I will have you thrown in the zombie pit!"  
"... We have a zombie pit?"  
"Don't think I can't make one! Now get to it!"  
"All right, all right! Yeesh..."  
COMMENCING REVIVAL. PHASE ONE COMPLETED. INITIATING RESPIRATORY DATA UPLINK... ENCODING... PROCESSING... RECEIVING... PHASE TWO COMPLETE. INITIATING NEURAL REVITILIZATION PROCEDURE... COMMENCING ACTIVATION SURGE IN THREE... TWO... ONE...  
Bvvvt! A small blue arc of electricity danced over Igov's face as the jolt of power jump-started his partially reconstructed brain.  
SCANNING NEURAL INTEGRITY... NEURAL INTEGRITY FAILING. NEURAL ACTIVITY HOLDING AT 2. ACTIVATION PHASE FAILED.  
"Hmmm... Well, whatever. Give him another!"  
"WHAT! But... I mean... yo-you can't b-be serious!"  
Shove! "Oh, get out of the way and I'll do it myself, you nimrod!"  
SAFETY PROTOCOLS DISENGAGED. BEGINNING SECONDARY ACTIVATION SURGE IN THREE... TWO... ONE...  
Bvvvt! Igov flinched as another shock of energy stabbed into the electrodes surgically implanted in his cerebral cortex. This time the pain flared brilliantly, and he attempted to gasp reflexively. A reflex that was carried out two seconds later, as his artificial lungs finished calibrating and adjusting to new information from his brain.  
SCANNING NEURAL INTEGRITY... NEURAL INTEGRITY STABILIZED. NEURAL ACTIVITY AT 31. 40. 63 AND RISING. ACTIVATION PHASE COMPLETE. FULL SYSTEM REBOOT INITIATED... REBOOT COMPLETE.  
Igov's closed eye burst open as consciousness crashed into him, as if some mental lightswitch had been turned on.  
"Gyah! What..." The cyborg jerked upright immediately, throwing off the blanket that had covered him.  
"He... He's awake. It worked," the lab assistant said in awe, staring at the Russian with wide eyes.  
"Heh heh heh heh..." Both the assistant and Igov turned around to see Yoshi Konta's shoulders shaking slightly as he chuckled. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! MWA HAH HAH HAH HAH! He's alive! HE'S ALIVE!" The diminutive man continued laughing madly as he thrust his arms into the air.  
Igov sweatdropped. "Is there reason Igov should not be?"  
The lab assistant crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, actually-OW! OW! Oh Christ Jesus Moses Satan damn it all to Hell!" The man continued yelling random curses as he bounced around on one leg, holding his foot in agony.  
"Oops. Hand slipped," Yoshi said casually, having shoved a large electric microscope off the desk behind him and onto his assistant's foot. "Anyway, we've been very busy with you lately. Those rusted tar pits you call lungs were very difficult to replace, your heart regulator was months away from failing, and your spinal column had been completely severed."  
Igov blinked, and noticed that the experience felt different than usual. Apparently his mostly biological eye had been altered slightly as well. "How did spine break?"  
"Well, that-" the lab assistant suddenly glanced to the side, and saw that Yoshi had lifted a computer monitor above his head. "... Uh, th-that remains... a mystery!"  
"Indeed," Yoshi intoned sagely, putting down the computer equipment. "What we thought would take an hour ended up taking three days, and you wouldn't BELIEVE the fuss we had to go through in order to bring that old clanker torso up to code!"  
Igov looked down and took stock of himself. His chest, which was largely covered in bio-synthetic flesh, had a hole cut out of the middle of it, and several wires were running out of the cavity and eventually ending at a nearby computer terminal. His arms were bare of the same material, leaving all those present free to see the mechanical glory of his form. His right arm, which was entirely mechanical but took the general shape and design of a human arm, was covered in shiny, rounded chrome plates that were carefully placed so that the entire limb maintained the flexibility of a true human arm. The digits of his hand were just as carefully designed, through each finger ended in a blue glass node, and Igov could see tiny spikes just barely poking out of small slots above and below his wrist.  
His left arm had none of the artistic or remotely beautific quality of the right; it was an ugly mess of pistons, wires, and rings that had been molded, perhaps through physical force of hammer and torch, into some crude imitation of a man's arm. The palm was too large, and the digits were blocky chunks of metal that Igov doubted were good for doing much beyond punching things.  
"Modifications are... odd." Igov murmured.  
"Your body was odd to begin with," Yoshi drawled. "You're now over 89 machine. Only some key organs remain biological, and most of those are mechanically assisted." He grinned at the man. "Though I must say, the technology you used is truly magnificent. I was able to access your wife's data on the Yamaka Mk. VII combat torso, and added a few of my own tweaks to give what little bio-matter you still have an extra kick in getting the machine parts to function."  
Igov frowned deeply. "Who give access to secure files?"  
"Nobody," the scientist said bluntly. "Most of your men are dead, and several have deserted. There's no one to keep your technology safe, so I took it upon myself to see that the secrets there didn't go to waste."  
Seeing Igov's neutral, guarded expression, Yoshi shrugged. "She truly was a genius. It would seem I really have been underestimating what steel and electricity are capable of. With this technology, I can make critical improvements to the Mobius project!"  
Igov turned away. "Is good news," he said, still maintaining a neutral voice.  
Yoshi coughed into his hand, and his eyes momentarily shifted away from the cyborg. "Although... it should be noted that the cybernetics implanted in your brain aren't as... should I say... **reliable** as the ones made for killing people."  
"Of course, it was mostly YOUR fault that we barely managed... to..." the assistant trailed off as Yoshi's eyebrow climbed higher and higher, and swallowed involuntarily. It was probably just his imagination, but the man suddenly felt very tense, as if his head had been placed in a guillotine.  
Igov mostly ignored the other scientist, and squinted his biological eye as data appeared in his cybernetic one. While most of the administrative computations were directly linked to his brain, external functions that weren't directly involve with manipulating his body were usually accessed with a visual representation to help him focus, as well as keeping confusion and errors from accidentally activating the wrong commands.  
"You install Windows XP?" The Russian asked, opening his eye and looking slightly worried. "This is wise?"  
"Eh," Yoshi mumbled, shrugging.  
The cyborg turned as he sat up such that his legs could hang down over the edge of the operation table. "Igov must test new weapon systems."  
"I agree," Yoshi said. Then he pointed at his assistant. "Kill him."  
"Wh-Wh-WHAT!" The scientist yelled, jumping back in horror.  
Igov rolled his biological eye. "Igov do no such thing. To kill non-soldier on whim is pitiful waste of life."  
The scientist let out a long, shuddering breath of relief.  
"All right, all right," Yoshi muttered. "I was just joking, anyway. How about just maiming him?"  
"Is acceptable," the cyborg said immediately, raising his right arm before the newly terrified lab assistant.  
Brzzt! A spark of light flashed in the palm of Igov's right hand, and small sparks of electricity flashed around his fingertips before collecting in a glowing, cohesive sphere roughly the size of a ping-pong ball.  
"No! Wait! I'm sorry! Don't hurt me! I-I-I-I-aye-aye-aye-aye-AYE-AYE-AYE-AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!"  
The man shook painfully as a thin, crooked bolt of electricity lashed out from sphere and emptied its relatively minor energy charge into the man, causing him to spasm wildly, and for parts of his lab coat to catch on fire from the heat.  
Thud! The scientist fell face first on the floor, and within seconds the overhead sprinkler activated over him, dousing the flames.  
"Excellent!" Yoshi said brightly, clapping his hands and then taking hold of Igov's right arm, inspecting it for any signs of damage or malfunction from use. "Okay... it seems to be functioning perfectly!"  
He let go of the hand and brightened. "The LS-99 Tesla Battle Claw is a metamorphing hand prosthetic; it's capable of releasing a bolt of lightning into targets at short range, being relatively accurate to a distance of up to five meters. Discharge duration is only 1.3 seconds to sustain a ranged bolt, but it can maintain a constant charge for up to 27 seconds when in physical contact with the target. The humanoid design of the hand can retract while extending four super-conductive vibro-blade claws with limited articulation for enhanced Tesla bolt accuracy and an enhanced melee capability. The Tesla claw has four settings: 'stun', 'kill', 'extra crispy', and 'Stalin would be proud'."  
The diminutive genius tapped on Igov's other arm. "This is an XM-320 minigun modified to act as a limited-manipulation articulated limb when inactive. It fires 5.56 mm. rounds at a rate of 600 rounds per minute."  
Igov frowned. "Rate of fire not very impressive for minigun."  
Yoshi shrugged. "We had to make it turn into a functional arm. That took a LOT of modification work. Plus three crowbars, four sledgehammers, and a two-by-four with a nail in it."  
The bio-geneticist moved to Igov's front, and began ripping cords out of his chest cavity. "Regardless, you're all set to go. In the next room we can fix up your chest plate, replace the fake skin, and then get you some clothes!"  
Igov nodded, and was about to head out of the room, when he suddenly jerked to a stop, lost his balance, and fell flat on his face, hitting the cold, steel floor with a loud ringing noise.  
Yoshi winced, then frowned as he kneeled next to the cyborg, wondering what happened. "Odd... his vitals are still strong... Yutchzky! Yutchzky?"  
Leaning further over, Yoshi turned the General's head over and peered closely into his cybernetic eye.  
"Oh... **that's** the problem." Sighing, the mad scientist stood up and retrieved his cell phone. Then he dialed a number that many of the men in his profession knew by heart.  
Beep! Beep! Click! Hello, and thank you for calling Microsoft technical support, division Japan! Please hold! Came a cheery female-sounding recording from the phone at his ear.

"... And THAT is why Snake and I have been chosen, among all the other individuals reviewed by the ICPO, to attend the United Anti-Terrorism Front seminars," Asuka said with her fists planted on her hips, speaking authoritatively as she addressed all the officers.  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Because he has the highest terrorist kill count in the world and you're his superior officer?"  
"That's right!" Asuka confirmed. "We will be flown, all-expenses-paid, to various countries across the globe and lecture crowds about why it's important to kill all terrorists instead of wasting time trying to fix whatever social or economic problems fuel their deranged agenda, or whatever those liberal pansies are always talking about."  
"Are they bothered by the fact that you're equally as experienced in fighting Russian militants, and that the terrorists you face have a level of technology that outstrips the American military?" Tycho asked blithely.  
Snake frowned, not liking the implication that the Freedom's Angels were better warmongers than his native country. "Why does that matter?"  
Tycho shrugged. "Just thought it was worth pointing out."  
"In any case, this puts me in a difficult position," Asuka said, the pride no longer evident in her voice. "Because two of the three ranking officers will be gone."  
Ranma blinked. Then he scratched his head. "Wait... if the Captain's gone, then that means the person in charge is..."  
Ranma, Tiro, Tycho, Sakura, and Junko all paled as they slowly turned to face Kyle. Even Hunter, who was lying on the floor, made a sound that was akin to a whimper.  
The lieutenant commander stared back at them. "What? Who's the person in charge?"  
"This is bad," Ranma muttered, remembering all of his experiences with Kyle's leadership. Which pretty much left his mind blank. 'The closest thing he ever gave to an order was his insisting that the vamps were leeches and not slugs!'  
"Precisely why this was a difficult decision to make," Asuka said regretfully. "Were Snake not coming with me, I could just tell everyone to ignore Kyle and do what Snake says. Although that scenario is only slightly less terrifying. But as it is, I'm afraid I have no choice. Kyle MUST be placed in charge as the commanding officer."  
"Wait!" Tiro said desperately, "what if Kyle goes with Snake instead of you? He's Snake's superior officer too, right?"  
"Then we'd never seen either of them again," Asuka said bluntly. "Can you imagine Kyle trying to lead Snake around in a foreign country where he didn't read or understand the language?"  
All the assembled officers (including Kyle himself, oddly enough) took a moment to think about it. A large thought bubble appeared over their heads. Within the thought bubble, a chibi-Kyle was arguing with a chibi-Snake, insisting that the women's bathroom in the rear of a Taco Bell in Louisiana was in fact the place they were supposed to give their speeches.  
They all nodded decisively.  
"And for that matter, can you imagine if I let SNAKE run around without someone responsible to keep him under control?" The police captain said irritably.  
Once again, all the officers stopped to think about it (including Snake). The thought bubble appeared. Within the bubble was a chibi-Snake crouching down and plugging his ears with the ancient pyramids of Egypt in the background. After a moment, there was a horrendous explosion, and a cartoon-ish looking mushroom cloud consumed the ancient tombs.  
The assembled officers except Snake nodded decisively. Snake started chuckling and mumbling about stupid mummies getting what they deserved.  
"So you see, I'm afraid there's really no choice," Asuka said, shrugging. "And while it may SEEM that I'm taking this seminar opportunity as a vacation to get away from you fruitcakes... uhm..." She frowned and scratched her chin. "Uh, while it may seem that way... I'll be back in two weeks. So... bye!"  
Asuka grabbed Snake's arm and turned around to walk out the front door. Truth be told, she wasn't relishing the idea of spending two weeks alone with her department's primary gun nut, but she WAS looking forward to taking a trip around the world for free instead of babysitting idiot blondes.  
Of course, there were some who would not so easily give her the satisfaction, and the police captain let out a yelp as Junko dove down and grabbed her leg.  
"I got her! Somebody block the door!" the redhead yelled, wrapping her arms firmly around Asuka's thigh.  
"HEY! What do you think you're doing, you little-" she was cut off as Tiro and Tycho each grabbed hold of one of her arms.  
"Please don't leave us!"  
"We won't last an hour under Kyle's command! We're begging you!"  
Hunter once again made a strange growling/whimpering noise as his jaw clamped onto Asuka's jacket and held her back.  
"Hey! Let me through!" The blue-haired woman shouted, struggling toward the door. To everyone's surprise, she actually managed to make some progress, dragging the three officers and killer alien along behind her.  
Her progress stopped when Ranma casually side-stepped in front of the exit, whistling to himself and trying to look innocent.  
"Et tu, Saotome?" Asuka growled, causing Ranma to sweatdrop. He didn't stop whistling though, nor did he make eye contact.  
"Don't go! We don't want you to go!"  
"We need you here! Don't leave!"  
"Sakura, get over here and grab her other leg! OW! Hey, no kicking!"  
Sakura sweatdropped as Asuka yelled and started tossing people off of her. "Is it really that bad to have Kyle in charge?"  
"Never mind that," Snake said, crossing his arms over his chest in irritation. "How come nobody's trying to keep ME from leaving?"  
"Because we've been waiting a REALLY long time for the chance to clear that mine field in front of the garage," Kyle said honestly, crossing his arms over his chest.  
Snake mumbled something about the low standards of security measures nowadays and began to sulk.  
Asuka finally shook Junko off of her foot, and then ripped her jacket out of Hunter's mouth. "I'm LEAVING! Let's go, Snake!" She shouted, moving up to stand in front of Ranma.  
Ranma swallowed involuntarily, but didn't make any move to get out of her way as the Captain glared at him.  
"Saotome... MOVE IT." Asuka's tone left a clear image in Ranma's mind of a metal spike puncturing solid steel, and several beads of sweat collected on his brow.  
He moved backward a step, closer to the exit. A mistake, he knew, but Ranma Saotome always resorted to brave mistakes before intelligent withdrawals.  
"Grk!" The martial artist gasped as Asuka took firm hold of his neck right under his jaw, and then picked him up with one arm. An impressive feat all by itself, and made no less so when she turned sharply, Ranma still suspended0 firmly by her grasp, and placed him firmly on the floor, out of her path to the garage.  
"We're leaving," she said simply. "I'll see what I can do about writing you while I'm there. Let's go, Snake!"  
The DAPC's weapons officer followed his superior officer to the door, and then turned back once he reached it.  
"So, seriously, NOBODY cares that I'm leaving?" He said, somewhat annoyed.  
"We all care," Junko said immediately. "We just can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing."  
Snake turned to Ranma, looking somewhat hopeful. "Saotome?"  
Ranma glanced at the man, then turned his head away sharply, though he was still massaging his throat. "Hmph. I'm still mad about the Claymore thing."  
The Lieutenant flinched, then turned around and exited through the door, mumbling to himself along the way.  
"Yeesh. Blow a guy up once, and he has to get on your case about it forever..."

Junko groaned as the two officers exited the main lobby where everyone was assembled. "What're we gonna do? It's just not gonna be the same without the Captain!"  
Tiro shrugged. "I don't know... don't we usually just do whatever we want when she's around anyway?"  
"Yeah, but the Captain always pulls us together just in time for us to turn the tables and barely escape death," Tycho noted sourly. "And besides that, with Snake and Takami gone, Saotome's the only one left worth a damn in a firefight!" He pointed a sole finger at Ranma.  
Though he supposed Tycho should've included Kyle in that accounting too (the dope was good at shooting things, at the very least), Ranma mostly sympathized with the driver's assessment. Kyle would be too busy giving confusing commands that would probably get them all killed instead of helping to fight off enemies.  
"She'll only be gone for two weeks you guys," Sakura said, some obvious strain in her voice from trying to stay cheerful. "We can survive that long without her, right? I mean, she's our leader, not our babysitter!"  
Ranma was about to make a calculated and impolite reference to Tiro's behavior, when Kyle suddenly smacked one fist into his upraised palm.  
"I got it! I figured it out!" The blonde man said excitedly.  
The others blinked at him.  
"If Asuka leaves, then **I'M** the one in charge, huh?" Kyle asked brightly, pointing to himself.  
Wham! The others declined to reply as their faces became one with the floor.

Yoshi hummed happily to himself as he walked down the halls of his own private research facility, holding a cluster of important files to his chest. All around him, the hum of machinery and the muffled clatter of glassware being used reverberated from the various labs that made up the greater whole. Unlike the other facilities, this one had only minor security detail; the only things his lab dealt with that had a mind of their own that might decide to escape were any clones he made. The rest of the experiments in biotechnology were conducted using inactive tissue samples, gene models, and controlled chemical reactions. Even the T-virus, an organism that technically didn't have a mind of its own, was forbidden within the confines of his facility, for a single mistake could turn his entire staff into zombies and monsters without proper security measures in place to stop them. And the Sintek mutant samples were not only disallowed within his facility, but in fact ALL research pertaining to those projects were now forbidden to be in any of his databanks.  
The diminutive genius shook his head. Where the Sintek mutant templates had seemed an incredible leap forward for their projects at first, Yoshi had only recently realized how horrible a mistake their projects were, and how truly dangerous the mutation template was. And for a man who had freely unleashed the horrific T-virus into the Tokyo area, the danger had to have been unforgivably dreadful.  
The Sintek mutations were abominations that existed in unstable, parasitic cellular bonds, and took their primary forms by attaching themselves to living cell structures, and twisting them around, consuming life forms and driving them mad with agony as their bodies were mangled into vile monstrosities that sought only to spread their hideous taint. All while the victims were still alive, and completely aware of what was happening to them. Not a pleasant thought.  
Which wasn't all that different from the T-virus's own incubation, in an abstract sense, but that was exactly why Yoshi had re-engineered it so that it was no longer an airborne virus and had modified its rate of mutation. Besides, there was a type of moral simplicity in an organism that at least killed its host before twisting its body into a vile monster.  
But more importantly, the mutants simply couldn't be controlled. Yoshi really had no idea what that foolish girl Sinclair had been hoping to accomplish, but with the rate of mutation of her creations, any chemical or electronic controllers would be rendered useless within days, assuming the mutants didn't break themselves apart by then. And if she had been hoping to rely upon actual conscious loyalty, which would have been difficult to establish with beings who had been defiled so fully, he would have given her a week at most before she would have been impaled by an insane guard or rampaging minion.  
Though Yoshi had always seen the corruption of the innocent civilians as sort of an "artistic" method of warfare in designing his creations, he had to admit that the demonstrations and projections from Sintek's gene modules had left him shaken.  
He found himself more and more appreciative of Igov's love for the pure, unfettered brutality and loyalty of machines. No mind-altering chemicals. No ugly mask to instill fear. No complex neural functions balancing emotion with the required drive to kill.  
Just a trigger, a metal dart, and an eighty-pound engine to drive it through a man's skull. It was beautiful in its own right, he had to admit.

"Professor Konta? May I have a word with you?"  
Yoshi raised his eyebrow and turned around, not expecting to see Alexandra's young lackey wandering around his facility. "Ah. Bei. What brings you here? It seems a bit unusual for you to be wasting time in the R&D departments when your organization is crumbling apart."  
Bei crossed her arms over her chest in a huff, and wished not for the first time that the little man in front of her wouldn't address her by her first name. It was very odd how he treated everyone so familiarly... well, except for Igov. Whether Yoshi's distant politeness to the Russian was an expression of respect or contempt, Bei had no idea.  
"For your information, our organization isn't 'crumbling apart'. But now that Core is undergoing serious recruiting and restructuring, we can concentrate on doing the same."  
"Wonderful," Yoshi said dryly, openly checking his wrist watch.  
Bei's eyebrow twitched, but she reigned in her annoyance. "I'm just stopping by to track some shipments made to your lab. And now that I'm here, and now that I can see that your lab is in full operation, with Wraith personnel and all, it would be my duty to inquire as to WHY." She scowled into the old man's round glasses. "You know about the freeze that was put on the research budget! You were reassigned to a commercial research project in sector 3!"  
Yoshi snorted. "Designing the distribution of a tried and tested bio-lubricant and a means of mass-production? Don't insult me." He turned away from the young terrorist and began walking away from her down the hall. "I would work on project Mobius in my living room on my PC, all alone, before I waste my valuable time on such rubbish."  
"If you want to do that, then do that!" Bei yelled, rushing up next to the man. "We don't need your help on the project anyway! But you can't be operating this facility!"  
"Sure I can," he said simply, not noticing as Bei's face flushed red in irritation.  
"NO, you can't!" she shouted at him.  
"Can too."  
"Can NOT!"  
"Can too times infinity."  
Bei immediately fell flat on her face.  
Then she got up. "It doesn't matter what you think! You won't get one more yen of Wraith funding!"  
The bio-geneticist rolled his eyes and turned toward the young woman. "Bei, the question you SHOULD be asking is: how many yen of Wraith funding have I used so far since the budget freeze?"  
The girl stared, not comprehending.  
"Let me give you a hint: who paid for the supplies you're here to track?"  
Bei blinked. "You did."  
Realization smacked into her, and she nearly fell over again.  
"Wait! You're saying... YOU'RE paying for all this?" She gestured around at the facility. "Power, chemicals, development, LABOR? All of it?"  
Yoshi nodded, his usual smirk adorning his face. "Oh, yes. Most of the staff here was happy to transfer under my control. After all, we face disastrous lay-offs right now, and those who know enough about the Mobius Project are in danger of being 'terminated' in a far more permanent manner. They're all working under reduced pay, but I'm also more reasonable with the hours. So it evens out a bit."  
"H-How do you PAY for it all?" Bei stuttered, completely overwhelmed.  
The short scientist shrugged. "Patents, grants, investments, favors, and a smidge of good, old-fashioned life's savings. I've accumulated quite a fortune over the years, and I haven't really had the time to spend much of it."  
Bei was left gaping. This was bad. But then, this was also very good. On the one hand, Yoshi was now producing vital resources and furthering their research into bio-genetic weapons with his own funds, minimizing risk to Wraith and the Freedom's Angels, and without hindering the rest of their operations. They were essentially getting free weapons.  
On the other hand, this left Yoshi Konta, proclaimed unanimously as the most whimsical and dangerous scientist in the entire Angel scientific hierarchy, in direct control over every aspect of the project. Its goals. Its materials. Its tests...  
Just how reliable and loyal WAS Yoshi? Bei wouldn't have pegged him for the type to betray his superiors and ally with the enemy, but then again, she really wouldn't have pegged him for the type to ally with ANYONE in the first place, including his current superiors. And now that they weren't paying him...  
"Well... uh... yo-you'll still be expected to give full status reports on your progress," Bei said somewhat shakily, trying to project an image of cold control like Alexandra did. The fact that it had always failed to work on Yoshi anyway didn't stop her, either.  
"Of course," Yoshi waved his hand dismissively as he pushed into his office. "The details of this project shouldn't be kept a secret. You see, with our depleted manpower, I'm trying to come up with a way to bolster the strength of our remaining forces. And I've already concluded that simply pumping them full of T-virus and allowing for full incubation would be both dangerous and unreliable in its results."  
Bei had to nod at that. It wouldn't have been the type of thing she'd volunteer for.  
"My current methods of bio-enhancement require the modification of genes before the addition of growth culture. These are most evident in the K-series mutants, and in that clone I made earlier."  
"The one with the pineapple underwear?" Bei asked disgustedly. For some reason, that was the thing that stood out the most for her from the entire Viper incident.  
"Yeah. Him." Yoshi sighed. "Though the modifications WORKED, they ultimately proved ineffective when the unit was engaged in combat against elite battle units dispatched from the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. It would prove difficult and ultimately unwise to simply increase the power and level of mutation until an individual unit can match the DA's... 'special' units in single combat. Rather, I'm now investigating methods to safely modify existing stable gene structures to give them superior strength, dexterity, regeneration, and so forth. Meanwhile, my peers are working on methods to accomplish the same thing with cybernetics. It should prove... more useful than simply patching together as much armor as possible over a large gun."  
Bei blinked. "You're working on creating super-soldiers?" She stopped to think about it. "How... old-fashioned of you."  
"Yes, well, maybe I'll get back to creating clone armies another day," Yoshi mused. "Right now, I'm actually in the process of obtaining a subject for my first human trial."  
The brunette looked alarmed. "You're already ready to begin testing on humans?"  
"Well... no, not really," Yoshi admitted. "But it's more fun that way."  
Bei groaned. "You realize I can't authorize the use of our personnel for experiments when we're so short-handed, right?"  
Yoshi chuckled darkly. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I've sent for... **volunteers**... outside the company."  
The old man grinned, and Bei shuddered involuntarily. Now what was he up to?

"Easy there... easy does it..." Tycho ever-so gently pushed the slide back as he held the switch on the pressure detonator, and let out a breath he had been holding as he felt it click into place.  
Still with some level of trepidation, for Snake's explosives were worthy of a fearful respect whether they were armed or (supposedly) disabled, Tycho walked over to a small crate on the edge of the parking lot and carefully placed the anti-vehicle mine inside next to other stacks of mines.  
"Whew!" Tycho wiped the sweat from his brow, and turned toward Kyle, who was standing next to another crate.  
"All mines disarmed and accounted for, Commander! This lot is **clean!**"  
The blond man nodded. "Excellent. Now all we need to do is take-"  
"Hey, you guys!" Tiro yelled, interrupting his superior officer as he burst out of the side entrance, looking out of breath. "You guys! Come watch! Ranma's training the girls!"  
Tycho raised an eyebrow, wondering why that had made Tiro so excited. "So? He does that all the time. And we knew that was what he was doing." Though it was more an excuse than anything else. Apparently Ranma had a problem with disarming mines now.  
"Yeah, but he's making them do jumping jacks now!" Tiro said, grinning.  
Before Kyle even realized what the significance of that was, Tycho had already reached the side door, and was shoving Tiro along so he could get through. "Later, man! We finished up the hard part already anyway! See ya!"

Kyle rolled his eyes as his two subordinates disappeared inside the building, and went back to hauling his crate into the ordnance room.  
Really, he wouldn't have minded watching himself, but he had already started his present task, and didn't like to leave a job half-finished. Whether it was because of some noble sense of determination, or a side effect of his simple-mindedness, once Kyle really started putting effort into something, he kept at it until it was finished, or until somebody smarter than he was told him to stop.  
And, well, besides that, one of the girls was his sister. That would've been kind of weird.  
Pushing thoughts of Ranma's training session out of his head completely, Kyle hefted the crate and entered the utility door.

Almost immediately after the door closed behind the lieutenant, a white van crept into the premises, moving so slowly through the parking lot that one might guess that the driver had the car in drive, but wasn't actually applying any pressure to the gas pedal.  
The van slowly moved up in front of the garage, right atop the area that had been a full mine field only two hours earlier.  
One man jumped out of the driver's seat and quickly rushed to the rear of the van, while another man cautiously exited the passenger-side seat, and scanned the area for any signs of life.  
"I'm telling you, this is crazy. Didn't I say this is crazy? Why the hell did I sign up for this? No amount of money is worth dying for!"  
"Shut up," the driver said irritably, rummaging through his keys to unlock the heavy padlock keeping the rear double-doors closed. "We're not going to die. Just keep watch behind me, okay?"  
"Not going to die?" His jittery companion said incredulously. "Do you have ANY idea where we are? DAPC HQ! Those aren't just a bunch of random letters! They're **code** for 'base of those who slaughter Angels and laugh'! This is the very seat of their power! We are in the BELLY OF THE BEAST!"  
The driver twitched as he finished undoing the locks. "You volunteered for this, same as me, alright? We're going to do this, and we're gonna get paid and hopefully promoted." He climbed into the van.  
"We're going to die, is what's going to happen. No. We won't just die. They don't just kill militants like us, you know. They put us in CAGES and TORTURE us. And then they feed us to man-eating monsters!"  
"Don't be ridiculous," the driver said, finishing the setup inside the van and jumping out with a cardboard sign in his arms. "We're the one with monsters, remember?"  
"It's true! They have some kind of evil demon dog, with an extra pair of claws mounted on its back! It runs like a cheetah and tears through steel armor!"  
"Uh huh. Right," his companion mumbled as he set up the sign outside the rear of the van. "And I'll bet it regenerates mortal wounds and burrows underground too, huh?"  
The other man blinked. "Well... uh... I don't know if it can do all THAT..." Then he frowned. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?"  
"ME! Nooooo! Perish the thought!" The driver said sarcastically, finishing up the sign. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, which consisted of a plain cardboard square that said Free booze! with an arrow pointing toward the interior of the van.  
"Putting aside the fact that we're dead meat," the whiny companion said, "isn't this plan really, REALLY stupid?"  
"Better than your plan," the driver said, turning around and watching for anyone coming out of the building. "Do you really think they wouldn't notice if we kidnapped some random guy and dressed him up so that he looked like a DA cop?"  
"Hmph." The other man crossed his arms over his chest in irritation. "At least we'd be relatively safe, instead of just meters away from-"  
Gulp! Clink!  
Both terrorists jerked their heads to the side as they heard the sound of an empty bottle hitting a metal surface, and each of them gaped openly as Seras Tuko stumbled drunkenly out of the rear of the van.  
The inebriated doctor almost tripped as he hopped out of the van and onto the ground, and ended up doing a short, clumsy-looking dance to keep from falling flat on his face.  
Once balance was more or less maintained, he frowned and turned toward one of the men staring at him in disbelief. "Your booze is overpriced," he said sourly, adjusting his lab coat around him and stomping off toward the headquarters building in a shaky huff.

The terrorists continued to stare at the man until he had finished entering the building, neither of them having the presence of mind to ambush him, or even draw the concealed pistols they both had on their persons.  
"How... How did he... How'd he get in there?" The driver said, flabbergasted. "He couldn't have... I mean I... we were right here the whole... there's no other way to..."  
"I'm telling you, man! They're not human!" His companion said, reduced almost to the point of tears. "Let's just go! Let's get out of here!"  
The driver growled. "No! We're not leaving yet! Not when we're so close! We can just..." the man trailed off, and then stared at his partner. Or specifically, the candy bar sticking out of his partner's pocket.  
The other man backed away. "No! Forget it! It's MY Twix!"  
"Shut up and give it to me, you twit," the leader of the two goons said, snatching the candy bar from man's shirt pocket. "I'll buy you another one later."  
The second man frowned as he watched his companion jump into the van. "Huh? What're you doing?"  
The driver emerged a second later, without the candy bar in hand. Taking a magic marker, he then crossed out "booze" on the sign, and wrote "candy" underneath the mess of black streaks.  
His companion was nonplussed. "You know how the first plan was incredibly stupid? This is much, much worse."  
"Oh, shut up and hide," the first terrorist said, rushing behind one of the doors and ducking down low, "I think someone's coming!"

Kyle wiped the sweat from his brow as he entered the parking lot again, and headed for the second crate of disarmed mines.  
Naturally, the large white van that hadn't been there a moment ago caught his attention before he reached his objective, and he stopped in his tracks.  
"Ooh! Free candy!" Kyle grinned and immediately ran over to the van, peering into the rear compartment.  
He was about to enter, when, amazingly, a thought struck him.  
"Wait a minute... why would a van suddenly appear and give out candy for free? For that matter, why isn't the van's owner around? And why does it look like something was crossed out and replaced with 'candy' on the sign?" The officer frowned and scratched his chin. "As the present leader of the Department, I can't afford to just take off every time a distraction appears! I have to stay sharp! And this looks like an obvious trap!" The blond man finished, nodding decisively as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
"It's not a trap!" A voice suddenly shouted. "Honest!"  
Kyle looked back and forth around him, trying to figure out where the voice had come from. Scratching his head in confusion, he took another look at the van interior.  
Then he shrugged, and climbed inside.  
"Twix! Awesome! My favorite!"  
SLAM!  
The two terrorists quickly rushed to the front of the van after they locked the rear double-doors, and the driver chuckled.  
"Eh? EH! I told you! Quick and easy! Now we're outta here, safe and sound!"  
His companion frowned. "Whatever. You still owe me a new Twix bar."  
The driver growled, but reluctantly nodded his assent as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Ranma idly took a sip of his soda before he returned to the task at hand, his mind sharp and focused.  
This was an arena that afforded no distractions. A battlefield in which hesitation was punished without mercy. A contest of skill where the inferior were weeded out and crushed with no remorse.  
And to top it all off, he was LOSING.  
"Dammit... dammit... dammit... NO!" Ranma cried helplessly as one of his strikes went wide, leaving him open to the merciless blade of his enemy. Deaf to his cries, the weapon pierced through him and emerged the other side, impaling him completely. Moments later, his foe pressed his foot against his chest and pushed his katana free, and Ranma grimaced as he was sent over the edge of the arena into the waters below.  
Tycho smirked as Mitsurugi went into his victory pose. "I told you, dude. You don't use a Frenchman to fight a samurai."  
Ranma dropped his controller in disgust, and picked up his soda again. He didn't prefer the image that Raphael presented either, but he could hardly blame his loss on the nationality of his chosen character.  
"Whatever. I just happen to spend my time practicing REAL fighting instead of video games," Ranma said irritably as the next game began with the character selection screen.  
"Speaking of which, shouldn't you be instructing the girls or something?" The driver asked, eyebrow raised.  
Ranma picked up the controller again and scrolled around the screen. "I already did. They're doing kata and exercises."  
Tycho, for his part, couldn't comprehend why Ranma wanted to play games when he could be closely observing two attractive women exercising. "I woulda thought you'd prefer a more 'hands-on' training approach, eh? Winkwink nudgenudge?" The man grinned and jabbed Ranma with his elbow.  
The martial artist responded by bopping Tycho on the head to stop the other man from jabbing him. Naturally, he also missed the implications of Tycho's choice of words. "I would, but it's not really worth it for those two." It hadn't taken long for Ranma to figure out that Sakura and Junko weren't at all driven to be combat artists; though it was still good for them to have some basic practice under their belts, and although he actually did see some hidden potential in Junko, neither of them would have put up with even the lightest of training regimens that the Anything-Goes style demanded.  
Tycho's eyes bulged as he swiftly misinterpreted his companion. Wasn't worth it? Junko and Sakura were two of the finest-looking women he had ever met, ranking just below Tiro's cousins. And Ranma had so many women that he didn't even think they were worth his TIME? "Dang! You have to hook me up, man!"  
Ranma blinked and stared at him. "I have to what?"

Luckily for Tycho, who wasn't about to get through to Ranma anytime soon, and even more luckily for Ranma, who would have lost 138 more rounds of Soul Calibur II that day otherwise, Junko chose that moment to rush into the room, waving a paper over her head.  
"Ranma! You have to see this! Come quick!"  
Ranma blinked, then pointed at himself. "Me? What is it?"  
"It looks like we've got a case!" The redhead said excitedly, having been quite bored with the martial arts exercises when she found that Ranma wouldn't be there the whole time. "A civilian near Naohamake Park said they saw something in the pond there, and there have been numerous disappearances in that area recently!"  
Ranma blinked again. "Okay... why are you coming to ME with this?"  
Junko sighed. "Because I can't find Kyle."  
Tycho and Ranma groaned in unison.  
"Well that's just GREAT," Ranma complained. "What am I supposed to do?"  
Junko wordlessly handed Ranma an envelope.  
The pigtailed man took the envelope, then flipped it over to look at the front. In case of an emergency was written on it, and there was clearly a folded piece of paper inside.  
Tycho turned toward the redhead. "How come you're always the first one to get a hold of this kind of stuff, anyway?"  
"That's not important," Junko said dismissively.  
"Yes, it kinda is," Tycho disagreed.  
"Oh..." Junko scratched her head. "Well, it's not interesting, then."  
"Then keep it to yourself," Ranma said, ripping open the envelope. "Let's see..."  
Fellow officers: If you are reading this, then Kyle Tekai is either dead, lost, incapacitated, captured via a pitifully executed and ridiculously simple trap, or has overslept more than usual.  
The three officers paused to take their own guesses as to which had happened. It was agreed that he was probably either lost or captured.  
In such a case, unofficial command is to be given to Ranma Saotome, as he is first and foremost among you a combat expert, and is slightly more sane than the rest of you. Make no mistake; if Kyle is gone and something has happened that's dire enough for you to open this letter, Saotome is your ONLY chance of getting through a mission alive. I've enclosed a list of general rules and tips to follow as you go through your mission, or investigation, or try to stave off certain death, or whatever.  
Ranma shook the envelope, and another sheet of paper slid out and fluttered onto the floor.  
See you later. Unless you die. Sincerely, Asuka Takami  
"That's IT!" Ranma shouted as Tycho picked up the list of rules and tips.  
After a brief perusal of the document, the driver frowned. "Well, this is slightly less helpful than a kick in the crotch. Now what?"  
Ranma tossed Asuka's letter in the trash, and then crossed his arms. "Now I'm in charge? Crud..."  
Perplexed, he turned toward Junko and Tycho, who were staring at him doubtfully.  
"Tycho!" He shouted suddenly.  
The driver snapped to attention. "Sir?"  
"Go get Tiro and Sakura immediately!" Ranma commanded, pointing toward the entrance.  
Tycho turned and looked at the door. Then he turned back around to look at Ranma. "Do you mean, like, 'now' immediately? Because I'm actually kind of tired, and-" Stomp!  
The driver didn't waste any more words, making his way to the door as fast as he could while hopping on one leg and holding his foot in agony.  
Junko looked at Ranma with a new level of respect. "Wow. Maybe you really can fill in for the Captain." She certainly couldn't think of anyone better able to bully Tycho and Tiro into following orders.  
"Hmph. It's still not fair, making me do it," Ranma groused, picking up the note Tycho had been looking at. "Well, let's go find the bad guy and arrest him."  
Junko coughed into her fist. "Well, actually, judging by what we already know, it's more likely some type of mutant, really."  
Ranma shrugged. "Whatever. Then let's go arrest the mutant."  
Junko sighed. 'It's just not the same. I wonder what Snake's doing right now?'

Meanwhile, in Moscow, Russia, just outside the Kremlin...

KA-KROOM!  
Alarms began to sound as a third car was torn apart in the main parking lot by an anti-armor shell, exploding violently and throwing bits of shredded steel and flaming debris across the lot.  
Snake shook his head, a disdainful expression on his face, which was poking out of the top of large T-62 battle tank.  
"I can't believe this post-commie piece of scrap! What kind of a blast radius is that! Are you snow clowns building cannons or paintball guns!"  
Growling at the weak example of Russian engineering that he had to contend with as he wreaked havoc pointlessly, Snake rotated the turret to aim at the next biggest car in the lot.  
He grinned as he heard people barking orders, followed by the multiple clicks of rifles being aimed and primed.  
"You there! Cease fire immediately and come out with your hands in the air! You have until the count of three until we open fire!"  
Snake jerked around, looking surprised as he beheld the small squads of riflemen and rocket-armed soldiers lined up at the edge of the parking lot, yelling at him in Russian.  
"One!"  
Snake reached down into the tank turret, rummaging around in the ammo bay.  
"Two!"  
Pulling out a piece of paper, the Lieutenant beckoned the officer in charge to approach him.  
"Th-Wait! What?"  
"Come over here!" Snake yelled in English, hoping that at least one of the clods had done well enough in high school to understand him.  
The commanding officer frowned, and then approached the man in the tank, his rifle at the ready (he would have had it up and aimed at his present target, but the turret gun was currently aimed away from him, and both of Snake's hands were visible and empty).  
"I said surrender immediately!" The Major demanded again, speaking in English this time. "You are under arrest! ANY resistance will be met with lethal response!"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Chill." Snake said casually, waving the paper at the man. "Here. Read this."  
"And would this document contain a good reason why I shouldn't have you killed for your unprovoked attack on a government building?" The soldier asked angrily, taking the paper and scanning it.  
Snake grinned when the man's eyes went wide. "Sorry pal. I've got diplomatic immunity."  
The soldier shouted some nasty-sounding words in Russian, and then turned around in a panic, waving his arms and shouting more Russian at his men. They all immediately put down their weapons.  
"I'm so very sorry, Mr. Snake!" The Major said, all but groveling before the police officer. "Please, if there is any way I can make your cruel and unprovoked attack upon our property more enjoyable, do not hesitate to ask!"  
Snake raised an eyebrow, then pointed to the line of soldiers. "Send that guy to bring me some vodka. Then come back."  
As the Major ran off, Snake turned the turret slightly, aiming for a smaller car that was seated in the parking space clearly marked as belonging to the Prime Minister.  
KA-KROOM! "HA! THAT'S FOR LETTING YOUR DAMN CYBORGS GET INTO OUR COUNTRY! BURN, YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF... German engineering? That was a BMW? Hope it was insured..." Snake mused, glancing at the small burning Mercedes logo that had bounced off one of the tank's tread covers.  
"Your vodka, sir." The Major announced, getting Snake's attention.  
The Lieutenant snatched up the bottle, took a quick swig, and then turned back to the soldier. "Give me your gun."  
The Major hesitated as his hand moved toward the strap for h is AK-74. "Uh... may I ask what you're going to do with it, sir?"  
"If you MUST know," Snake drawled, "I'm going to hold it by its barrel, like a club. And then I'm going to beat you over the head with it."  
The Major silently lifted the strap over his head, and handed the rifle over to the police officer. "Yelling or no yelling, sir?"  
"Oh, by all means, yell."

Ranma planted his hands on his hips as he stared at the park's main pond, looking it over for any irregularities.  
It was a relatively large body of water, with a rock spire in the middle, with a fountain pipe running through the spire and spraying the water out in a uniform dome around the rocks. The water was about twelve feet deep at the bottom, and murky with algae and surface plants such that one could barely see past the surface.  
All in all, very pretty. And the observation didn't help his situation at all.  
"Okay guys, help me out here. What do we do now?" Ranma asked, turning toward Junko, Tiro, and Tycho, who were all standing together behind him, armed with pulse rifles.  
"You're asking us?" Tycho said doubtfully. "You're supposed to be in charge, here."  
"Just because the Captain put me in charge in case of an emergency doesn't mean I know what I'm doing," Ranma murmured irritably. 'Why couldn't she have put Junko in charge instead? She seems kind of smart. We probably wouldn't get anything useful done, but we wouldn't be out here doing nothing...'  
"I still can't believe Sakura got out of this by taking Hunter for a walk," Tiro grumbled.  
"Aw, you're just upset that you didn't think of it first."  
Junko sighed. "The man we talked to said that he merely saw a long, snake-like body sliding across the surface of the water briefly, and reported it to a local cop. The cop called animal control. That was two days ago. Both animal control people disappeared when they were dispatched to capture whatever it was in the park, and there have been a few other disappearances recently."  
Ranma shrugged and walked up to the edge of the pond.  
"What makes them so sure a snake is related to the people's disappearances?" Tiro asked, hoping to throw enough doubt into the case that they could go home.  
Junko shook her head. "A water-dwelling snake, in the middle of a small park in Tokyo, with powerful enough venom to kill people?"  
"Maybe it's a mutant snake," Tiro offered.  
"Which would make it our jurisdiction."

As Tiro cursed his being argued into a corner, Tycho approached the pond from a safe distance behind Ranma.  
"So, you going in?" The driver asked, raising an eyebrow.  
Ranma grimaced. "Do I HAVE to?"  
"Item #14," Tycho began, quoting the list Asuka had left them, "'If a dangerous or possibly dangerous situation arises, Ranma should go in first.'"  
The aforementioned officer twitched. "What did I ever do to her?"  
"Maybe this is just her unique way of saying she trusts you more than any of us," Tycho offered, patting the other man on the back.  
"But she's already said that right to our faces," Ranma countered. "Several times, actually."  
"Okay, fine, but... uh..." Tycho trailed off as he noticed a slimy black... thing slide out of the water. "Saotome? By your foot..."  
"Huh? What's by my fooOOOWAAAUGH!" Ranma yelled out in surprise as a slimy, dark tentacle wrapped around his shin, and then pulled him powerfully into the water.  
Junko and Tiro, having heard the splash, turned just in time to see Ranma's head and arms get dragged under the clouded surface of the pond.  
"What? What just happened!" Junko said, trembling.  
Tycho scrambled away from the pond, almost stumbling into the redhead. "The... It... There was... S-Some THING grabbed Saotome! It dragged him under!"  
Tiro gulped. "Then let's get outta here! We can send Hunter in later to kill it!"  
"No! We have to save Ranma!" Junko insisted, not willing to let the man die without an attempt made at rescue.  
"By doing what? Jumping in after him!"  
"If that's what it takes, then yes!"  
Tycho grabbed his head. "Everybody, stop this! We're not getting anywhere like this!" Frowning, he took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. "The Captain's note says that it's IMPERATIVE that, in the case of an emergency like this, that we **don't panic**! Rule #6!"  
Junko's left eye twitched. "'Don't panic'? That's it?"  
"We have to take this one step at a time, Chikiko," Tycho said decisively. "So our first priority should be to calm down, and find a way to remain calm, despite the fact that our most useful companion is being drowned and mostly likely eaten right behind us."  
Tiro raised his hand somewhat timidly, surprising his two companions. "I think I know how we can stave off panic, at least..."

"BLRB! GLMPH!" Ranma quickly stopped trying to yell as he was dragged deeper under the water, the resourceful part of his mind that was active during dangerous combat situations reminding him that he'd likely have to reserve whatever air he had left in his body.  
Twisting around, Ranma glanced at his leg where he had been grabbed, only to see a long, dark shape slip away to the side, and behind him. Very aware of how vulnerable a target he made underwater against a foe that lived there, he started to swim backward toward the edge of the pond, hoping to close off half of his enemy's vectors for attack.  
He stopped before he reached the sloped edge, however, noticing a darker cloud of water below him, with small scraps of white visible among the shadows.  
Another few seconds of observation, and he was able to make out what the whitish things were: human bones, poking out from what was doubtless a cloud of leftover flesh.  
'Well, this case is just about closed,' Ranma thought, once again swimming backward for shore and scanning for any threats. Normally he would have been able to sense any creatures around him through senses more reliable than sight, but the burning in his lungs from lack of air was ruining his concentration.  
Suddenly, Ranma's eyes widened as he felt a sharp pain in back of his skull, and he grasped behind his head to feel a thick, slimy cord attached there. Giving a brief tug, he felt whatever had been trying to affect entry into his brain lose its hold, and he grimaced as the slimy creature slid out of his grasp.  
For once being glad that his head was much denser than most people's, Ranma quickly rushed for the surface of the water, his oxygen being completely spent.  
GASP! Breaking the water's surface, Ranma began panting heavily, trying to take in as much air as possible before his attacker came around for him again.  
"Hey, look! Saotome's still alive! Hi Ranma!"  
Ranma blinked, and then turned to look at his fellow officers. All three were seated around a small block table, with Junko and Tycho on one side facing Tiro. Tiro was passing out cards, and placing two of them face-down in front of each of the others.  
"You guys are playing CARDS while I'm being eaten by some water monster!" Ranma shouted, a vein popping up on his head.  
"Don't worry about a thing!" Tycho yelled back at him, waving. "We're staying perfectly calm!"  
"I don't think that's what he's worried about," Junko mumbled, observing her cards.  
Ranma grit his teeth. "After I finish this thing off, I am SO gonna-GURK!" His threat was concluded prematurely as his attacker's slimy, eel-like body wrapped around his neck, pulling him back underneath the surface of the water.  
Tiro looked at the circle of bubbled doubtfully. "Is he going to be okay?"  
"Either he won't, or we won't," Tycho murmured. "Now are you gonna bet, or what?"

Ranma would have growled if he could have spared the breath. He could once again feel the sharp stinging of pointed teeth trying to burrow through his skull, but THIS time, he wasn't going to let the damn monster get away on account of not being able to breathe.  
Concentrating his ki, Ranma's body began to glow a brilliant gold, and the general water temperature rose several degrees.

"I'll stay," Junko said, sighing despondently. "It just doesn't feel right, you know? The Captain wouldn't have let Saotome down like this."  
"The Captain 'aint here," Tiro said, musing over his own cards. "And we have our orders."  
"NO, we DON'T."  
"Well, whatever. You know what I mean." Tiro shrugged. "Fighting is what Ranma does. It's his strength. And now, more than ever, we have to stick to what we do best."  
"Which in your case, is goofing off," Junko said sourly.  
"That, and making inane conversation like this to create filler scenes. Yamazaki, are you staying or what!"  
BWA-KOOOOSH! The three officers were startled out of their thoughts as a huge geyser of steaming water burst upward from the infested pond, and they quickly scrambled to keep their cards dry as they were suddenly subjected to a short and violent torrent of rain.  
Panting, Ranma slowly shambled out of the pond, holding a charred body in his right hand. It was about the size of a small python, though substantially longer, and the head held only a mouth full of jagged, wickedly curved teeth, rather than the normal assortment of eyes, ears, and nostrils.  
Tiro turned back to his cards. "Hit me."  
Wham!  
Tycho winced as the lecherous man went tumbling across the grass, a substantial lump on his forehead. "Well, I think we all saw that coming a mile away. GAK!"  
Ranma's left eye twitched as he held the driver up in the air by the man's collar. "I think we have to have a little talk about this whole 'teamwork' thing..."  
Tycho bigsweated. "Would it help if I said I'm glad you're still alive? OW! OW! Stop! Please! Not in the face! Not in the face!"

Yoshi grinned as he beheld his newest test subject, strapped down on a long steel table and bereft of his shirt. "Oh yes, this will do nicely." Kyle lay face-up, staring at the light fixture above his head blankly, having been exposed to knockout gas while trapped in the kidnapping van. Now he was in the middle of a large operating station on a sub-floor in Yoshi's lab, surrounded by large observation machines and computers.  
Chuckling slightly, the bio-geneticist slid a pair of rubber gloves over his hands as his assistants began plugging wires into Kyle's body in various spots.  
While the gene grafts that were used in the non-human mutant strains were both stable and reliable, they couldn't be just applied to a life-form at any stage of development; only the bare, basic embryo, bald of all qualities that make living beings what they are, could properly react to the application of a totally new chromosome structure and grow into the monsters of the Freedom's Angel's mutant army. Thousands upon thousands of sperm and egg samples, some stolen, some bought, some donated by member terrorists, and some taken from the primate test animals, were all combined, one at time, and grown into loyal monsters of twisted flesh and venomous blood, corrupting the minor miracles performed, en masse, by rows of machines on an assembly line.  
But this, THIS... this was different. This was greater. To start with a blank canvas and create a work of genius was great. Molding horrid, bloodthirsty life from dying, malformed, improper embryos.  
But to look God Himself in the eye, gesture to His creation, and say "Let ME show YOU how it's done"?  
Yoshi's hands were twitching in excitement. He might not succeed, he knew. He might fail completely, and his theories might prove worthless, his research misguided. But he would try again. And again. Until he created the Better Human.  
"Professor Konta, the subject has been sedated. We're ready to begin," one of the other scientists said, her tone the same boring monotone that always grated on Yoshi's nerves. He knew that they had been all but forced into their current positions, to do work that was at best unethical and at worst apocalyptic, but why couldn't the losers learn to have a little fun with it?  
The diminutive scientist sighed and turned to the small rack of vials sitting on a nearby table. They had been manufactured elsewhere and sent here, all with the very utmost care and propriety. Nowadays, the word "T-Virus" tended to give everyone in the FA hierarchy shivers.  
The vials didn't really contain any of the dreaded organisms, but rather a virus derived from it, possessing a significantly smaller genetic structure. In removing so much of its DNA, Yoshi had eliminated most of its more dangerous behaviors, such as its ability to mostly circumvent a victim's immune system, its ability to incubate within cells and alter their structure, and its trademark ability to restore minor function to inactive brain tissue. All that was left were the base traits inherent in all viruses, the drive to infect cells and use them to reproduce, and the T-Virus's unique mutagenic capabilities.  
Deriving such a base organism had been no small feat, but once the viruses had taken hold of a body, its DNA would become super-sensitive to manipulation in the infected cells. The effect would be temporary; VERY temporary, as the body's natural immune system would quickly and easily adapt an antibody and wipe out the organisms, but that window of time would be plenty of opportunity for Yoshi to wreak havoc on the subject's genetic structure with the gene grafts. And with the added stability of an established, functional biological structure, the alterations could be more severe than he'd attempt with a growing embryo.  
Taking one of the vials, Yoshi stabbed the vial head with a hypodermic, and slowly filled it with the gelatinous substance. It would take a full injection directly into the subject's bloodstream to ensure that the virus would spread far enough to get past the body's other biological defense mechanisms and still infect enough host cells.  
Yoshi walked up next to the table. "Prepare the tools. We begin-"  
Bing ba-bing bing! Bing ba-bing bing! Bing ba-binnng bing-bing-bing-bing!  
The assorted scientists and doctors all stared at each other in confusion as their superior was interrupted in his instructions by the song "Oh My Darling Clementine" composed of the tasteless beeping of a cellular phone.  
Yoshi twitched. "WHOSE is that? I would think anybody smart enough to perform a surgery this complex would be smart enough to turn their phone off while we're operating!"  
"S'mine. Sorry," Kyle mumbled, suddenly yanking one arm free and then using it to free his other arm from the relatively loose restraint.  
Ignoring the astonished looks of the men and women surrounding him, the blond man got up and stumbled toward the cloth-covered table where they had stashed his belongings. Once he reached it, he pulled his shirt off the top, carefully put aside his pistol, and then found his cellular phone under his jacket.  
Beep! "Kyle here. What's up?"  
The scientists continued to stare.  
"Really? Sorry about that. Wasn't my idea, Saotome. Yeah, I was captured... No, no. I still am."  
Yoshi raised an eyebrow at two of the scientists behind him.  
"You moron! I told you to sedate him!" The woman yelled at her colleague, shaking her fist.  
"I thought you did!"  
"What would make you think that!"  
The man pointed toward a monitor sitting right above the one that was even now keeping track of Kyle's pulse, via the wires that were still attached to his body.  
"Look at the neural scanner! With that level of brain wave activity, he HAS to be unconscious!"  
"You twit! Does he LOOK unconscious to you?"  
Yoshi shook his head sadly, and then picked up the needle full of sedative that should have been injected in their test subject.  
"I'm sorry Saotome, but there's nothing I can do until they finish experimenting on me," Kyle said, sighing. "No, I don't know what they want to do to me. I hope they just want to make me a robot or something though. I've always wanted a robot arm. That could shoot doughnuts. Wouldn't that be cool if-OW!"  
Kyle flinched, then whirled around to see Yoshi holding an empty hypodermic. "Hey! That hurt!"  
"It won't for long," the little man muttered, adjusting his glasses as he looked up at the bigger man.  
"Huh? Whaddya me-" Suddenly Kyle's eyes bulged, then relaxed, as if some circuit had shorted out in his brain. "Why Grandma, what big teeth you have..." Thud!  
Yoshi and another man dragged the police officer back to the examination table, and once again fastened the arm restraints, this time making them a good deal tighter.  
The only female scientist of the group frowned. "Strange... the monitor isn't detecting any change in brain wave activity as a result of him being knocked out."  
"Stupid thing must be broken."  
"Never mind the machines," Yoshi said authoritatively, injecting the mutagenic virus into Kyle's hip. "It's time we got to work..."

"Hello? HELLO! Kyle! What's wrong? Did they find you?" Ranma yelled into the office phone, his fellow officers gathered behind him.  
"You lost the connection?" Junko said apprehensively. Behind her, Sakura was biting her nails nervously, overcome with fear for what might be happening to her brother.  
Ranma shook his head. "Nope. He's still connected. He's just not answering. Or he's not there. He just called me grandma, and then I heard a clattering noise."  
"Probably the cell phone being dropped," Junko deduced.  
"What're we gonna do! What're we gonna do!" Sakura cried, shaking as she grabbed hold of Ranma's arm. "What if they hurt him! What if they torture him! What if they kill him!"  
Tycho rolled his eyes. "Would you calm down? They wouldn't have captured him just to kill him. They're either using him for human experiments, like he said, or they're just holding him for ransom."  
"It doesn't matter what happened," Ranma said decisively, hanging up the phone solemnly. "A fellow officer has been captured! We WILL rescue him!"  
"All right!" Junko said, grinning.  
"Let's do it!" Sakura shouted excitedly.  
The three of them turned toward the exit, and Ranma cleared his throat noisily as Tiro and Tycho tried to sneak out.  
"And where are you going?" Ranma drawled, his eyes narrowing. "If the GIRLS can get through this, then you dweebs better be able to."  
Tiro sweatdropped. "Uh... well... I was just thinking... someone should probably take Hunter for another walk! So I'm going to be pretty busy..."  
"Eh, he'll get plenty of food fighting his way into a terrorist stronghold," Junko reasoned. The zergling didn't like to waste what he killed.  
Tycho sighed and turned around. "Okay, well, there's another point. How are we going to find this 'terrorist stronghold'?"  
Ranma, Junko, and Sakura blinked.  
"What do you mean?" The pigtailed man asked.  
"Think about it Saotome," Tycho began, "despite everything we've done to them, and the evidence linking them to terrorist activities, Wraith Laboratories still operates dozens of factories and labs all over Japan. It's only safe to assume that sometimes they also operate out of small terrorist cells, which would be hidden from government resources. And let's not forget private or secret assets owned by Wraith or their subsidiaries."  
Tiro nodded several times. "Yeah! Yeah! How are we going to find him?"  
Sakura and Junko looked embarrassed, and stared down at the ground.  
Ranma shrugged. "Well, let's find the nearest Wraith building and attack it. If he's not there, we'll beat up some guys and see if they'll tell us. And if not, then we'll move on to the next closest building."  
Junko winced. "That... isn't a good idea."  
"An unprovoked attack on a private business?" Tycho said, raising an eyebrow.  
Ranma frowned. "I'm plenty provoked. Aren't you?"  
"That's not what he meant!" Tiro shouted in exasperation. "We can't automatically assume that all Wraith assets are terrorists just because Alex funds the Angels with Wraith resources! For that matter, we can't go on a rampage through the city, destroying the complexes one by one!"  
Ranma pouted, and crossed his arms over his chest. "That's what Snake would've done."  
"And Captain Takami would've stopped him," Tycho countered.  
"And Snake would've snuck out and done it anyway!" Ranma countered back.  
Tycho slammed his palms down on the desk in front of him. "Well, Snake's an idiot!"  
Ranma slammed his own hands down on the same desk. "Well, so are YOU!"  
"I'm a different kind of idiot, though!" Tycho shouted, "Specifically, the cowardly kind!"  
"Everybody, stop this!" Junko shouted, afraid that violence could break out at any moment. Not that she was averse to seeing Tycho get slugged, but the DAPC was currently too short on manpower to hospitalize its remaining active officers. "Look, Tiro's right. Until we get more information on Kyle's capture, or at least his whereabouts, we have no choice but to go about our normal operations. We can call up some other agencies and ask them to investigate this. For now, that's pretty much all we can do, okay?"  
Ranma grit his teeth, but nodded reluctantly. He couldn't help but feel there were possibilities there, options that hadn't been considered... options that would have come to light had Asuka been there to lead, rather than the department relying on him, coached by a compassionate but inexperienced nymphomaniac.  
Sigh 'I wonder how the Captain's doing, anyway?'

The next day in Vatican City, just outside the Vatican...

"And that's why we must ALL work to put pressure on international suppliers and harboring governments to sever support from terrorist organizations! The issue of terrorist activity is no longer one restrained to religious fanatics and Fundamentalist organizations!" Asuka dictated to the large crowd gathered before the grandstand in English, speaking into a large microphone and occasionally blinking at the flashes of light from the cameras in the background.  
"Terrorism isn't a problem of impoverished people striking out at the wealthy, or restricted to Arab militants lashing out at Jewish civilians! Terrorism is spreading throughout the world, and its causes are becoming more complex, and more diversified. Action must be taken! People of all countries, all religions, all ethnicities MUST band together to stop these threats to the common welfare! Anyone who thinks it isn't their problem, thinks it doesn't affect them, they may turn their backs now, but an attack could come from anywhere strike any target, relevant or not! I've been into the battlefield, and I know the enemy! He is not one concerned about your place in the conflict! He is a beast, a murderer, who thinks his gun places him above the common moral ground! And ONLY when facing down a different gun, does he begin to contemplate the consequences of his actions!"  
Asuka slammed her hands palm-down onto the speaking podium as she moved to the next section of her speech, ignoring some kind of minor scuffle taking place behind a lighting partition that was creating a racket. "Those who preach patience and tolerance, and stand by preparing words of reason while people are dying have their place in this conflict! Eliminating the roots of terrorism by fighting poverty and bigotry are important! But it is more important to preserve the lives of the innocent, above ALL ELSE! It is up to us to-"  
Clang! Asuka winced as a heavy object from behind the platform fell over, apparently from the scuffle behind her.  
'What's going on back there? And where's Snake! He's supposed to give the second part to this speech! Not to mention he could probably help out security with whatever's going on down there!'  
Asuka cleared her throat meaningfully, regaining the attention of the crowd, much of which was trying to get a glance of what was happening behind the podium.  
"As I was saying, it is up to us to-"  
"POEOPLE OF VATICAN CITY!" Snake yelled, interrupting Asuka again as he ran up to join her on the platform.  
"Snake! What are you-" the Captain's eyes bulged as she saw what her subordinate held in his hands. "Is that... please tell me that isn't..."  
Grinning triumphantly, Snake held the holy miter in his hands high above his head. "BEHOLD! FOR I POSSESS THE POPE HAT! I AM YOUR NEW POPE!" And with that, he put the miter down on his head, at the same time that Asuka put her face in the platform.  
"There he is!" An old man, notably without a hat on, shouted, pointing at Snake. "He stole my hat! Seize him!"  
The old man's bodyguards reached the stand a moment later, holding the areas of their bodies that had been pummeled by falling equipment.  
Upon sighting Snake, they immediately fell to their knees and bowed their heads.  
As did the other two thousand or so people gathered to hear the speech.  
"ALL HAIL THE NEW POPE! GLORY TO THE HAT!" Rang out from the gathered crowd in a booming wave.  
Still face-down on the platform, Asuka twitched.

Mia nodded as Ranma finished telling the story of Kyle's apparent abduction, taking notes on a pad of paper as she did so. Across from her, Mizu patted Ranma on the back fondly, trying to cheer up the despondent man as he told the story.  
"I see. While I find it difficult to believe Kyle was imprisoned and still had access to his cell phone, I'm going to give all this the benefit of the doubt for now," the Colonel said evenly, projecting a powerful aura of professionalism. "You have my word that this investigation will be given the highest priority, and we'll keep you updated the moment we find anything."  
Ranma sighed in relief. "That's great. I was afraid you guys were going to laugh and blow us off like the last three guys."  
Mia and Mizu sweatdropped. Local police, SWAT teams, and the primary intelligence division in Tokyo were less than sympathetic when they heard that every superior officer in the DAPC was gone. Mia imagined that some of them were already padding their budgets so that they could afford office parties.  
The Colonel's expression softened. "You don't have to worry. Core wouldn't let the son of one of its officers down so easily. Umezeki has influence, at least."  
Mizu squeezed Ranma's shoulder. "It must be hard to continue with operations without a coordinator."  
"It's hard continuing operations when everybody I'm supposed to be leading has the combined I.Q. of a doughnut," Ranma said sourly, causing the two women to chuckle. He was exaggerating, of course, as Junko actually seemed relatively intelligent, but that same intelligence was hampered by inexperience with violent situations, plus the occasional urge to flirt with every good-looking guy who came around, as well as her co-workers.  
"Well, Captain Takami will be back in a day or two, now that you've informed her of the situation. Until then..." Mia trailed off as she saw Ranma biting his lip and fiddling with his fingers nervously. "Something wrong, Saotome?"  
Ranma chuckled nervously. "Uhm... well... it's funny, really. All the contact numbers and addresses she left... well... they're all fake."  
The two brunettes blinked. "What?"  
"Like I said, it's kind of funny. When she turned in the required forms including contact numbers, she just copied some of the numbers from the DAPC's officer database. I didn't even realize I was calling my own house until I heard my answering machine. Heh! I guess she really doesn't want to be disturbed."  
Judging from Mia and Mizu's expressions, they were less than sympathetic to the Captain's plight.  
"Don't you think that's kind of... irresponsible?" Mizu said irritably, a little upset that her dearest friend had been placed in such a situation.  
"Yeah, I guess it is," the pigtailed man allowed. "I really miss her."  
Then he scratched the back of his head apprehensively. "Actually, that brings me to my next question... seeing how we don't have anyone to take charge of the crew, I was kind of hoping one of you could... uh... you know, do me a favor and help out for a week? ... Or two?"  
Both women recoiled immediately, trembling.  
"Y-You want one of US to head the D-Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment?" Mia asked shakily, her eyebrow twitching. "I couldn't possibly do that! I have... uh... important Colonel's duties to perform here! Yeah!"  
"And I'm just a private," Mizu explained nervously, "rank-wise, I'm no higher than the rest of you!"  
Ranma immediately rounded on the less important of the two excuses, and Mizu took a step back in surprise as the pigtailed man suddenly fell down onto his knees and clasped his hands together in front of her.  
"That doesn't matter! We don't need an officer! We just need someone who's level-headed to kick us around when we're goofing off in the middle of an assignment! I'll owe you a favor! I'll owe you a dozen favors! I'm begging you, help us out, here!"  
Mizu bigsweated as Ranma kept pleading. On the one hand, Ranma was her dearest friend, her primary love interest, and the man she most wanted to have indebted to her.  
On the other hand, she had met Asuka Takami and the others. If the woman hadn't been born cynical and angry, then it was those men and women under her command who made her that way. It was also worth mentioning that the DAPC's mission reports claimed to have established violent contact with various hostile monsters at least twice a week. That they somehow had survived it all without a single casualty (at least, they had since the last time the DAPC had been restaffed) was a minor comfort, considering that most of their effective combat manpower was currently indisposed.  
"I... I can't! We've been on high alert recently! I can't abandon my job here to-"  
Mizu was interrupted as Mia suddenly slapped a signed piece of paper over her chest.  
"Private Kotetsu, I hereby grant you two-week paid leave for the purpose of conducting DAPC operations, as it seems necessary in order for the department to continue its critical operations." Mia did her best to keep a straight face, looking for all the world like she was making a logical, reasoned decision that was for the best.  
Which it was... pretty much... she DID have many things to do... well, things that she should do, anyway...  
'Okay, fine. So I screwed her over,' Mia admitted as Mizu glared at her. 'But it's worth it so long as I don't have to go. The DAPC is a nightmare for those who even cross it, never mind those regularly involved with it.'  
"Thank you, Mizu!" Ranma cried, grasping his friend in a tight, and apparently surprising hug.  
"W-Wait! I... I haven't said..." Mizu started to mumble as her body relaxed in Ranma's grasp. She almost shuddered as she felt his arms pressed around her waist. Those arms were capable of breaking her right then and there, like a toothpick in pruning shears, yet she felt completely safe. Not only safe, but... protected. Cared for. Loved...  
"Urk!" Mizu snapped out of her sudden daze as she caught Colonel Tokima winking at her. 'Damn that woman!' "I guess... I'll do it, then." Ranma smiled broadly as he retracted himself and held her at arm's length, his hands on her shoulders. "But you totally owe me one," Mizu said sharply, crossing her arms over her chest.  
"Of course I do! And I'll return the favor! I swear! Anything you want!" Ranma said quickly, nodding his head. A little voice in the back of his mind noted that he would probably regret saying those words, but he ignored it. Even his most successful strategies and decisions usually came back to bite him in the ass; why start being cautious now?  
Mizu nodded slowly, already imagining how she'd call in the favor. Making him take her out to dinner was a start, of course, but in order to properly determine exactly how much he'd have to do to make it up to her, she was going to have to actually get through her end of the bargain and determine how hard it was.  
'Oh, what am I worrying about? I'm the one who's always saying the DA isn't as bad as everyone says. How horrible could it be?'

Two days later...

"GET. OFF. ME. NOW!" Mizu screamed, kicking violently as Tiro clung to her lower body, paralyzed with fear.  
Growling, she finished reloading her sidearm, and then continued firing into the small crowd of zombies that shuffled slowly toward their position, too panicked to aim for making headshots as had been repeatedly suggested to her.  
Blam! Blam! The nearest zombie jerked back as Mizu concentrated her fire on it, but didn't fall down before the powerful .45 caliber slugs that pierced its chest.  
Thwack! It did fall down, however, as a powerful kick ripped its head right off of its neck.  
Ranma zipped past as Mizu started firing into the larger group of attackers. "Hey, watch where you're firing! The vamp zombies aren't dead yet! We can still save them!"  
"How the hell am I supposed to tell which ones are 'vamp zombies'!" Mizu screamed.  
Tiro, who was still clamped onto her waist more tightly than her belt, calmly explained. "The ones that have little to no physical damage are the ones that have vamps on them. We have to knock them out. The bloody, nasty ones with the bulging veins and fatal-looking wounds are the actual undead zombies."  
"DIDN'T I ORDER YOU TO GET OFF ME!" The female soldier shouted in frustration. Not that she was overly concerned about being fondled when a horde of mindless killers were approaching from all directions, but the extra weight was going to make it hard to run if she had to.  
"Yes, you did." Tiro replied honestly. "Carrier above."  
Mizu blinked. "What? Gugh!" The temporary leader of the department gagged as a thick black tentacle darted down from a fire escape above and wrapped around her neck and head. "MMPH! HMMM!" She clawed desperately at the thick length of slimy muscle, but to no avail as she felt the appendage slowly lift her upward.  
"Hey, Tycho!" Tiro shouted, having finally disengaged himself from Mizu (he wasn't so selfish as to not realize that the added weight might tear her neck right apart), "We need some fire support over here!"  
"We need fire support everywhere!" The driver shouted, nonetheless turning the M90 heavy machine gun up toward the carrier standing on the metal grating of the fire escape.  
RA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA! The stream of bullets rapidly tore the mutant apart, and it spasmed horribly as huge gouts of black slime and gray ooze burst from its back and onto the brick wall behind it.  
Mizu felt the muscles wrapped around her head tremble, and then the entire tentacle went slack, dropping her roughly onto the ground.  
Before Sakura, who was hiding in an alley mostly set apart from the conflict, could help, Tiro had already rushed up to her and was feeling her over... for injuries, of course.  
"Are you all right? Where does it hurt? A vamp! Here, let me get it!"  
Mizu would have smacked, and possibly even shot the man before her, except that he was indeed producing several of the mutant parasites from her body and discarding them. She decided to wait until he was finished before hurting him.  
SMASH! Crack! Such trivial affronts to her person were again pushed to the back of her mind as the wall across from her exploded outward by a sudden application of pure brute force.  
"MAULER! Run for it!" Tycho shouted, using his machine gun to smack away a vamp victim who got too close.  
"Tycho, what are you doing! You have the heavy weapon! Shoot it!" Junko shouted in frustration.  
"Nuh-uh! It's scary!"  
Toomp! Krnch!  
Mizu winced as the huge combat mutant stomped toward her, grinding the remains of the wall under its feet. "Tiro! You've faced these things before, right? Do something!"  
The lecherous man frowned as the monster approached, and then withdrew his firearm.  
Then he dropped it in Mizu's lap. "Here! Use my gun! I'll go get help!" Then he ran away, toward the alley where Sakura was holding their escape route. "HEEEEEEELP!"  
Mizu whimpered as the mutant stomped up to her and raised its claws to the attack. 'What did I do to deserve this?'  
Then the monstrosity jerked backward, suddenly unbalanced as Ranma jumped onto its shoulders and wrenched its head back.  
"Oh no you don't, you freak! Pick on someone your own size!" The K-series mutant awkardly made short lunges for its head, managing to bend its over-muscled, stubby arms such that it came reasonably close to grabbing Ranma without gouging its own skull.  
Ranma dodged the attempts to remove him easily, and then glanced at the back of the mauler's head. Like all the others he had seen, this one had a metal tube coming from the back of its skull that curved down and entered the mutant's back at an angle, as if it was following along the creature's backbone.  
'Hey, that might be important... and even if it's not, what the hell?' Ranma shrugged and grabbed hold of the tube, bracing his legs against the mauler's shoulders as he pulled hard on it.  
"Hrrrgh!" Shrrrrack! Surprisingly, the first end of the tube to tear free of the mutant's body was the lower section rather than the top, and Ranma grimaced as he found the end of the tube he was holding connected to a section of the mutant's spinal column... much of which he had also torn right out of its back, among gratuitous quantities of muscle and gore.  
"Yuck."  
Mizu, who mostly hadn't moved since she had almost been killed for the seventh time since this mission had begun, flinched as the K-series mutant suddenly dropped to its knees, having lost all motor function in its lower body.  
The mauler began to teeter left and right, and it's huge arms waved about comically as it tried to keep from falling over.  
"GREEEEEAAAUGH!" It's descent to Earth was hastened as Hunter finally finished tearing through the ranks of the zombies and lunged for it, slamming the creature onto its back with such speed that Ranma barely had time to jump off first. "SHREEE!" Shrack! Shlp! Snap!  
Still on the ground, Mizu sniffled, and a lone tear escaped her eye and dribbled down her cheek.  
'Please, Captain Takami... come back!'

Zombies slain: 31  
Vamp victims saved: 22  
E-type mutants destroyed: 3  
K-type mutants mutilated: 1  
G-type mutants slaughtered: 2  
(Okay, fine, so they all came from that one scene! So sue me!)

End Chapter 18 


	19. Upgrades

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Disclaimer: Death to the False Emperor! Death to the weakling Imperium of Man! Death to that guy who always orders pizza with no sauce! It's PIZZA! You can't have pizza without sauce! It's just not right!  
On a different note, I have had multiple requests over the years to repair the general formatting of my stories over I would like to divulge once and for all that the overall single-spacing of the stories is deliberate, I have no idea why this is a problem for some people, and I will not change it. As for the scene breaks and sounds (noise or dialogue being transmitted by or through artificial means), these things were represented through underscores and asterisks, respectively, and still are. However, at some point in the past, the idiots at decided it would be prudent to have their damnable document uploader automatically erase these symbols, such that there's no conceivable way for me to produce them in the final product.  
I have asked them about this anomaly with no response. If my readers wish to view the unmolested version, it is recommended that they visit my home site at http/ Chapter 19  
Upgrades

Mizu sighed despondently to herself as she drove the regular officers of the DAPC down a side road, carefully hugging the lane separators in an attempt to keep the Rhino transport's impressive bulk from crowding any of the other cars off the road.  
In the rear, the official officers of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment sat in a nervous silence, punctuated with Ranma's occasional groan or hiss of pain as Sakura applied disinfectant to his back.  
It wasn't long before Tycho reached his tolerance for quiet. "C'mon! Let me drive! Please?"  
The sudden outburst startled Mizu, but the raven-haired soldier simply grit her teeth and continued driving, not indulging Tycho's impatience.  
"I swear I won't hit anything! Well... I mean, I swear I'll do my best not to hit anything! Whaddya say?" Tycho pleaded, smiling awkwardly.  
"I say **can it**, Wattai," Tiro said irritably. "I'd much rather spend an extra half-hour getting back to HQ than risk this heap finally falling apart. How do you even GET a hundred and twenty miles an hour out of a heavily armored transport?"  
"Practice!" the driver said proudly, only to receive glares from the others. "Okay, okay. Look, I said I was sorry! And I must maintain that my intentions were pure! That unfrozen killer dinosaur was seconds away from ripping you open like a Christmas present!"  
"Yes, so thoughtful of you," Junko said sarcastically, "it would have been nicer if you had taken the time to think of a plan rather than trying to run us over."  
"I was aiming for the dinosaur!" The driver protested.  
"Very, very poorly," Ranma remarked. "Ow! Isn't that a little much?"  
Sakura winced. "S-Sorry... i-it's a very w-wide... um... abrasion." The squad medic stumbled over the words as her vision swam, desperately trying to focus past the blood on Ranma's back to do the basic disinfectant and bandage application.  
"Well, AGAIN, sorry!" Tycho growled. "Oh, and by the way? You're welcome for missing you guys by a hair's width and distracting the allosaurus long enough for Kotetsu to shoot it!"  
"'Missing' us?" Mizu almost snarled, startling the others with her sudden decision to participate in the argument. "You unintentionally hit the ramp just fast enough to pass over the tops of our heads, and then you plowed right into Ranma and smashed him into a wall!"  
Tycho shrugged. "He got better. Besides, when has Saotome ever gotten through a major operation without being injured?"  
"It was a while ago," Ranma admitted. "I think it was also the first time we completed an objective without destroying a civilian building." Then he glared at the ponytailed man. "But it would still be nice to go a whole week without having to pluck pieces of metal out of my ribcage. Ooh! Careful!"  
Sakura winced and apologized again as she wound the gauze around Ranma's shoulders. Behind her, Junko alternated between giving Tycho dirty looks and trying to get a good look at the parts of Ranma's shirtless torso that didn't have bloody wounds on them.  
"You're right, okay? I should've been more careful," Tycho said simply, smiling as if the admission put the entire case to rest. "Now let's let bygones be bygones and then let ME take control of the-"  
"WHOA!" Tiro suddenly shouted, startling everyone as he pointed to something outside the front window. "Stop the car! Er... transport! Whatever! Just pull over!"  
"What? Is there a babe sunbathing out there or something?" Tycho asked, trying to get a good look at where Tiro was pointing from his less advantageous seat.  
Mizu frowned. "What's this all about? I don't see anything..."  
She didn't hesitate when Ranma growled, however.  
"I see them," the pigtailed man muttered as he put his shirt back on. "Let's go."

Even when Mizu had figured out what it was Tiro had seen, she had no idea what the fuss was about; set apart from the flow of traffic, parked on the edge of an old, dirty lot was a man in a small car talking to two other men who were wearing all-black business suits, complete with black ties and black shoes. One of them had a pair of sunglasses on in the same color scheme, while the other had an identical pair clasped over the edge of his suit pocket.  
'They must be Yakuza, with those sunglasses...' thought Mizu, though she was grasping at the only discernable solution that explained why Ranma was cracking his knuckles as he approached the group. The others followed behind him, less prepared for violence but obviously not happy.  
'It's odd, though... Yakuza don't usually dress THAT nicely. Nor would they operate in this part of the city... plus, the guy doesn't really look scared or angry...'

It wasn't long before one of the well-dressed men noticed that they were being approached, and he gasped in surprise before quickly alerting his companion.  
The driver, who was quite new to Tokyo, and in fact the planet Earth as well, stopped to look at what the Terran authorities were whispering about, but all he saw were five police officers approaching, followed by a sixth confused-looking police officer.  
"Look, I don't care what the manual says," the man with glasses said to his companion, "we are SO outta here!"  
"But-"  
"No! No 'buts'! We're leaving! We're leaving right-HELLO OFFICER!" The bespectacled man said suddenly, moving past his partner and waving to the quickly approaching police. "Is there something we can help you with?"  
Ranma stopped cracking his knuckles and flexed his fingers dangerously. "Well, well, well. Lookie what we got here, guys! Either we stumbled upon a super-secret alien control organization, or there's a cosplay festival around here!"  
"Maybe we can direct you gentlemen to the nearest Men's Wearhouse?" Tycho said, pulling out his sidearm and switching off the safety. "'Cause this is DA turf, fellas."  
The Man in Black with his glasses still on held up his hands in a placating manner. "Now, officers, please. We really don't want any trouble. In fact, we were just lea-OOF!" That same man crumpled up and fell to the ground as Ranma slammed his arm into his gut, and then shouted out in pain as Tiro kicked him in the side when he was down.  
"Hey! HEY! HEY! What's the deal!" His partner shouted, backing away as Ranma and Tycho advanced.

Junko crossed her arms under her breasts as she frowned at the man in the car. "Hmph. So, what's your story?"  
The "man" blinked, and then chuckled. "Oh. Well, I'm somewhat embarrassed. You see, I'm really not used to driving yet, and I dislike high speed. I'm afraid I was going so slowly that I was drawing attention to myself, and these two agents arrived to assist me. Are you here to help them?"  
"We're here to help them get lost," Sakura said sternly. "So where are you from? Mars?"  
The driver blinked again. "Alpha Centauri Prime, the Tethodian continent. Have you heard of it?"  
"Oh God, ACP? Why do we get all the freaks from Planet Loser?" Junko mumbled quite loudly enough for the alien to hear. "So are you supposed to be a slime in a human suit, or what?"  
The alien looked far more uncertain now, and stewed a bit before answering. "Well... uh... insectoid, actually."  
"Oh, gross!" Sakura blanched and made a choking gesture. "I HATE giant bugs!" Frowning in disgust, the blonde woman took out two cans of Raid All-Purpose poison spray from nowhere and started to shake them liberally.  
"H-Hey! Wait a minute! Wh-What are you doing! I didn't-" Pssssssssssht! "GWAH! GACK! HACK! BLAUGHK!"

"So! What do you say to the nice officer who's going to let you go home today with all your bones unbroken?" Tycho asked the groaning MiB agent whom Ranma was holding up against the wall with one hand.  
"S-Sorry... about... sorry a-about trespCough!p-passing on your t-turf, officer-san," the agent sputtered, trembling and wincing from the pain of a black eye, a bruised shoulder, and several punches to the abdomen.  
"That's 'officer-**sama**' to you, dweeb," Ranma growled. Then he let the man go, backing off as the agent fell haphazardly down the side of the building and onto the ground.  
Tiro grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, you just get a warning this time, because you seem to be new, and because Snake isn't here to escalate this."  
Tycho nodded sagely. "Oh yeah. I still wonder what ever happened to that last guy..."  
"Well, what normally happens to people who are shot out of artillery cannons toward the ocean?" Ranma said sarcastically, sweatdropping.  
"Well... yeah, I mean, I know that. But still, do you think he flew through any buildings on his way there?"  
By this time, the beat-up agent was shaking perceptibly, and he slowly climbed to his feet before coughing into his hand.  
Ranma, Tiro, and Tycho all turned to look at him immediately, each with his own disdainful sneer.  
Wiping off the blood he had coughed onto his hand, the agent reached into his pocket and withdrew a small, silver cylinder. "I'm v-very sorry about the v-violation. And, uh, in r-return for your l-lenience, I would like to offer you something."  
The three officers each raised a single eyebrow as the man shakily reached into his pocket and then put on his sunglasses, before holding the cylinder toward them such that they were faced with a thin red lens.  
"Minor brain wipe. No charge," the Man in Black spat as he flipped the switch on the neuralizer, activating it.  
Pshoof!  
The agent bigsweated. He hadn't seen the pigtailed man move, but his hand was now covering the top of the neuralizer, and none of the DAPC officers had the dazed, lost expression that the instant-amnesiacs usually sported.  
"Uh... does this mean I can't leave with all my bones unbroken?" the agent said, practically whimpering as he spoke.  
Crunch! He got his answer as Ranma crushed the head of the neuralizer in his fist... along with the agent's thumb and forefinger.  
"Mommy..."

Kyle sat up suddenly on his cot, his mouth and eyes wide open, as if in shock.  
Good... you're awake. Stand up.  
Kyle twitched. He was in a room. A small room with bald, metal walls. He was sitting on a hard cot with a small sheet and foam block pillow. And there was a loud, static-filled voice behind him telling him what to do.  
Stand up.  
Kyle twitched again. Why was he here? What was happening? And why was his head swimming like it was?  
I said, stand up... command: stand up!  
The annoying voice continued to shout. Where was it coming from?  
STAND UP NOW! PUT YOUR FEET ON THE FLOOR AND STAND! DO YOU NOT SPEAK JAPANESE OR SOMETHING!  
Kyle frowned. The voice sounded upset now. Was the voice inside his head? It seemed so, but at the same time, he knew that it was coming from outside, also.  
... Simon says stand up?  
Kyle hopped off the cot and stood up straight, blinking as he heard a garbled sigh from the speaker above him.  
Okay, now Simon says you will accept his commands without Simon saying "Simon says," because otherwise Simon is going to get sick of this, and turn you into genetically enhanced ground meat to feed to the V-series prototypes.  
Kyle nodded blankly. He didn't understand, but he knew he didn't have to.  
Good. Now turn left.  
"My left, or your left?" The blonde man asked in a daze.  
... What? You don't know where I am.  
"Where are you?" Kyle asked stubbornly, swaying slightly from side to side.  
There was an amplified sigh. I'm behind you.  
Kyle twitched again, feeling the buzzing get louder. "So, my left, or your left?"  
IT'S THE SAME LEFT!  
Taking a moment to process this, the imprisoned cop did a sudden, precise ninety-degree turn, and then started running.  
Wait! I didn't say to-  
WHAM!

Up in the control room, Yoshi Konta massaged his forehead as the floor shook slightly from Kyle's impact.  
"I don't understand... the chemical controllers are obviously in place, but they've been... well..." The bald little man frowned as he puzzled the latest obstacle to his experiment. Despite his (as usual) perfect calculations, he had expected the problems, or outright failure, to occur in the stages of mutation and re-adaption, as the subject's body experienced severe alterations in its chemistry and bio-makeup, and strained to adjust without rejecting the introduced tissue and genetic grafts altogether.  
Alexandra, who was in the same room overlooking the experiment, raised an eyebrow. "Does this mean the project is a failure?" She had mixed feelings on the prospect; on one hand, this project represented a relatively cheap and easy way to create troops far more reliable than the rag-tag idiots that made up the Freedom's Angels' remaining forces. On the other hand, she'd be perfectly willing to give up that advantage to see Yoshi get taken down a peg.  
"Hardly," the geneticist snorted, rubbing his chin. "The procedure itself was a perfect success... just look at the impact he made."  
Alex leaned forward toward the monitor, and raised an eyebrow. Kyle had pulled himself away from the wall, and was even now rubbing his forehead as he looked about blankly. The steel wall he had hit had caved outward significantly, creating a deep, vaguely human-shaped indentation.  
"Okay, so he can bend steel without breaking any bones. How is he at using complex weapons?" The brunette asked, chewing on her lip.  
"I really have no idea," Yoshi admitted. "His reflexes and perception should show notable enhancement and allow him to fire guns and larger weapons more efficiently... but I'm not going to give him a gun until I'm sure I have a reasonable level of control over him. It just isn't a very smart thing to do."  
Alexandra winced as she watched Kyle wrap his blanket around his head like a turban. "So what are you going to do with him?"  
The diminutive scientist sighed. "Well, I'll keep trying to determine the extent of the side effects."  
Alex blinked. "What side effects?" She had seen Kyle in action before, and what she was seeing now seemed fairly consistent with his unspectacular first impression.  
"Whatever's provoking these absurd responses," Yoshi mumbled, looking over several instruments and their respective displays.  
Alex shrugged. "Whatever. I have many other matters to attend to. Inform me if you make any ACTUAL progress."  
The geneticist ignored his superior as she left the room, not deigning to indulge Alexandra's goading. Then he noted that Kyle was sitting cross-legged on his cot, the blanket still wrapped around his head. "What are you doing?" he asked, pressing a button on the console that turned on his microphone.  
There is an unusual presence in my mind. I will attempt to discover its origin and purpose through meditation and fasting.  
Yoshi blinked. "Fasting? We haven't offered you anything to eat."  
Kyle frowned. I knew this seemed too easy.  
Yoshi sighed again. "Take the blanket OFF your head."  
Kyle jerked upright, grabbed the scrap of cloth hanging in front of his face, and tugged hard on it.  
Whang! Yoshi winced as he watched the captive officer yank his head down and slam it on the edge of the cot he was sitting on.  
"Yeah... this is going to take a little while."

Mizu frowned as she nursed her coffee in her hands, casting nervous glances over to Ranma, who was looking ridiculously relaxed as Junko expertly kneaded his shoulders.  
Once again the redhead giggled lightly, and Mizu twitched, quickly taking a sip of coffee to cover her annoyance.  
It wasn't much longer until her irritation got the better of her common sense, and she spoke.  
"Having fun over there, aren't we?" She said bitterly.  
Ranma blinked and looked embarrassed, while Junko smirked.  
"Awww, isn't that cute! I think she's jealous!" Junko giggled and suddenly leaned down to hug Ranma from behind, winking at the fuming brunette.  
The pigtailed man winced as he felt the redhead's breasts press against the back of his neck. "C'mon, would you knock it off?"  
Watching as Junko pouted and stood up, Mizu frowned. "You seem pretty comfortable around her, Ranma. I thought girls like that made you nervous?" She remembered many late nights of extended study-fests in Ranma's room at the academy, (though it had mostly involved Ranma studying while Mizu stared at his bed and fantasized) and he had always been extremely uncomfortable with any touching more intimate than a pat on the shoulder. She thought it was kind of cute, actually, and Mizu felt rather betrayed that the department bicycle had managed to get through Ranma's guard before she had.  
Ranma rubbed the back of his head. "Well, you kind of have to get used to her. Or else you'll go nuts." Then he blinked as he felt something squishy press up against the back of his hand. "Dammit Junko, I said to knock it off!"  
Mizu decided it would be best to change the subject. "So... any of you wanna tell me what the deal was with those guys in black suits you beat up?"  
Ranma's face darkened. "Territorial dispute," he spat. "Jerks just march in with their big, shiny guns and act like they own the place! And issuing fake alien visas! Idiots!"  
Junko immediately noted that Ranma's spotty and unhelpful explanation hadn't answered Mizu's question. "The Men in Black are some fancy, international secret organization that apparently tries to deal with aliens themselves. We don't really want to tangle with them, and they REALLY don't want to tangle with us, so they generally keep to the suburban areas on the East side, and the industrial sector." She shook her head. "A month ago, they came and told us they had to take Hunter away. And, well..." She trailed off, uncertain of how an "outsider" would view the incident.  
Ranma had no such inhibitions. "And we had a bit of a problem with that. Three of the five of them returned. Only one of them returned alive."  
Mizu seemed understandably disturbed by this development, even if she doubted Ranma killed any of the men personally. "Why did they want to take him?"  
"Something about him being part of a vast alien swarm that could annihilate the human race completely, or some crock," Ranma mumbled. "You know, whatever. They thought he was dangerous."  
"He IS dangerous," Mizu deadpanned, glancing toward the zergling as he slept silently on the other side of the room.  
Junko rolled her eyes. "Well, of course he is. But not in a 'devour all of humanity' kind of way."  
Mizu sighed and gulped down her coffee. "Oh boy... when is the Captain coming back, again?"  
Ranma scratched his chin. "Two more days." Then he sighed himself. "I really hope we find Kyle soon."  
"Yeah..." Junko murmured sadly, squeezing Ranma's shoulder. "I wonder how he's doing right now."

Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!" Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!" Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!"  
Bam! Bam! Bam! Yoshi uncharacteristically banged his head against the door jam he had just entered as he watched Kyle, three guards, and seven K-series mutants that SHOULD have been on standby, in a conga line, moving to the beat of a fourth guard who had found some bongos.  
Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Graugh!" Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hraaaah..."  
"Hey, these big monster guys are pretty good at this!" Kyle said, obviously having recovered from his earlier trance-like state.  
"EVERYBODY RUUUUMBAAAAA!" One of the terrorists cheered, having found new joy in his empty and disgraceful life.  
Bam! Bam! Bam!

"I wouldn't worry too much. If anybody can survive being held hostage in a terrorist bio-lab..." Ranma trailed off for a moment, then frowned.  
Junko raised an eyebrow. "I was kind of hoping you'd follow that up with 'it's Kyle'."  
"I was planning to," Ranma admitted. "But honestly, I have no idea what Kyle's good at that would help him survive."  
Mizu snorted. "He's good at getting himself into absurd situations."  
Ranma sweatdropped. "That doesn't really help... unless he finds a ridiculous way to escape."

Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!" Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!" Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!"  
Kyle shook from side to side as the conga line advanced toward the main entrance to the facility, his long hair waving to the steady rhythm. Many of the guards and scientists had fled the area, and the rest were gaping in astonishment at the sight of a huge line of men and mutants parading through the halls to the tune of bongos.  
Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!" Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! "Hey!" Buh-da-da-da-da-dum! SLAM!  
Kyle winced as a massive blast door suddenly dropped down in front of him, effectively sealing off the exit.  
Standing next to the door, and the large button that closed the blast doors, Yoshi glared at the captured police officer with his arms crossed over his chest.  
"Nice try. Get back to your cage."  
"Awwww..."

Junko rubbed her chin. "Well... he's really good at pointing out the obvious."  
"Say what?" Mizu deadpanned.  
"No, no, she's right," Ranma said, nodding. "Sometimes Kyle can notice things or come up with plans that are so boneheaded and simple that nobody else would think of them. That could be an advantage."  
"How?" Mizu asked incredulously.

Kyle sighed and tapped his foot on the floor, bored out of his mind.  
As much as he disliked having the strange buzzing in his head that compelled him to do what the big booming voices said, it was painfully boring without it. At least with the voice, he would always be doing something, and the things he was told to do became more and more difficult and challenging. In fact, some of the things, like getting shot at with 9 mm. pistols and ignoring it, and punching through a half-inch steel plate were flat-out impossible for normal human beings, which certainly kept things interesting. Had Kyle been the sort to dwell on prospects like that, he would have wondered how he was capable of such things. But having a short attention span, the I.Q. of a can of almonds, and a job that regularly exposed him to the supernatural, he merely saw the tests as exciting breaks from the sterile peace of his cell.  
Frowning, he got up off his cot and walked over to the door. Then he placed his hand on the knob, and attempted to turn it.  
It refused to turn. This did not deter the blonde superhuman, and he turned harder.  
Inevitably, logic buckled before the enhanced might of bio-engineered muscles, and the entire lock and knob mechanism was ripped straight out of its housing.  
"Oops." Wincing, Kyle carefully tried to put the doorknob back in place, only to find that it was now of a shape that could slide completely through the knob hole in the door... and straight out the other side.  
He winced again as he heard the knob hit the floor on the opposite side. Shrugging his shoulders, and hoping that he could escape before they tried to charge him for the damage, Kyle pushed the door open and dashed into the hall.  
Thud! Before falling flat on his face.  
Yoshi shook his head as he retracted his foot, trying to ignore the bruise that was forming on his ankle from tripping someone of Kyle's size and strength relative to his own. Then he took the blond man by the leg and dragged him back into his cell, ignoring the much heavier man's pleas that he had broken the door by accident.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm pretty sure we can't count on him escaping by himself," Ranma decided, shaking his head sadly.  
Junko sighed. "But what can we do? We don't know where he's been taken!"  
Mizu glanced over at the zergling resting in the corner. "Are you sure you can't have that thing... you know, sniff him out or something?"  
Ranma snorted. "Hunter's an alien killing machine, not a bloodhound. Besides, he doesn't actually have a sense of smell."  
"He doesn't?" Mizu asked, somewhat surprised.  
"No, he doesn't," Seras said suddenly, causing everyone in the room to jump in surprise as he appeared behind Mizu. "His alien physiology is actually highly sensitive to psychic disturbances, and as such, he finds prey through the reception of high-level psionic emissions, usually caused by high stress levels."  
Mizu blinked. "Uh... meaning?"  
"He can smell your fear. Just not you," Ranma simplified for his friend, having been subjected to the wordy explanation. "Same goes for pain, death, anger, and hate. He's pretty much drawn to spilled blood like a shark."  
The Core officer twitched as Seras turned away. "I find all this extremely unsettling." Then she turned toward Seras, who was heading toward the front desk. "What are you doing down here, anyway? I thought you and Wattai were upstairs daring each other to eat live insects?"  
"We ran out of beer, and he doesn't like the brandy I had on hand. So I came here to make a beer run."  
Mizu frowned as she watched him unlock a drawer on the filing cabinet. "There's no beer down... here..." The confused soldier twitched as Seras opened the drawer on the filing cabinet, revealing a pile of Budweiser cans and ice packs.  
As the perpetually inebriated doctor rummaged amongst the alcohol, a sinewy black shape slid up from among the ice, its jagged, tooth-filled maw slowly opening as it prepared to strike the limb that dared disturb its slumber.  
Seras snatched up several of the beverages, and slammed the cabinet shut with his hip. Ignoring the sound of cracking bone and the hissed death gasp behind him, he then popped open one of the cans with his teeth and started to chug its contents, getting a head-start on Tycho.  
Mizu turned back toward Ranma. "You keep beer in the filing cabinet?" she deadpanned.  
"**I** don't," Ranma said indignantly. "That's Tycho and Tiro's stash."  
"He keeps his stuff in the fake plant in the corner," Junko whispered, leaning closer toward the raven-haired woman.  
"It's mostly Skittles and beef jerky, though," Ranma said, casting an irritated glance at Junko. "I don't really drink."  
"You don't?" Seras asked suddenly, honestly shocked. "Why on Earth NOT?"  
"Because the last time I did, I got blown up by a Claymore mine," he recalled bitterly.  
Seras snorted. "Eh, everybody has a bad experience or five with alcohol. It's no reason to give up! Are you going to quit that easily?"  
"That's enough out of you!" Mizu finally shouted, getting up and shoving Seras toward the stairs. "Go back upstairs! Get out of here!"  
Ranma sweatdropped as the raven-haired soldier ushered the perpetually inebriated doctor up to his lab. "Geez Mizu, calm down a little..."  
"Lousy drunk," the Core soldier spat, dropping back down into her chair. "Alcoholics are bad enough when they keep to themselves; I hate it when they let their addictions bother other people."  
Junko shrugged. "Well... he does seem to be pretty happy all the time."  
"Trust me," Mizu scoffed, "alcohol will NOT make you happy."  
"WILL TOO!" Seras yelled from upstairs.  
"**AND** IT'LL HELP YOU SCORE!" Tycho added.  
"Shut up!" Mizu yelled back. Then she sighed and slumped back in her chair. "I can't WAIT until the Captain comes back."  
Ranma chuckled. "Aw, c'mon Miichan! We're not that bad, are we?"  
Mizu felt her spirits lift slightly at being called by the affectionate nickname Ranma had come up with for her, but ultimately it wasn't enough to break her mood. "No, Ranma. You're not that bad. But you're still something of a handful."  
Mizu figured that so far, in exchange for the favor of providing competent leadership and essentially babysitting the entire DAPC, Ranma owed her sixty-three dates, seventy-thousand yen in gifts and/or services, two-hundred and forty-four hours of cumulative hot jungle loving, his hand in marriage, three children, and forty years of easy living while he worked to support her, her children, and the nanny that would raise her kids while she wasted away her life watching soap operas and prime-time sitcoms.  
"A really big handful," Mizu added, causing Ranma to chuckle nervously.  
"Well... uh... you're still alive!" Ranma said cheerfully, sweatdropping.  
Junko winced. "Er... not that we didn't expect you to! No! We knew you could do it!"  
Mizu snorted. "Well, I'd hope so. I wouldn't deserve to call myself a soldier if I couldn't live through anything that Barbie could survived."  
Ranma blinked. "Uh... Barbie?"  
"Sakura," Junko whispered to him. "It's a girl thing. Ignore it."  
"Anyway, don't feel so bad! In two days Asuka will be back, and you can go back to your slightly less dangerous job at Core!"  
The raven-haired woman wasn't impressed by Ranma's attempts to cheer her, though she was quite grateful. "Two more days... so where is she now, anyway?"  
Junko rubbed her chin as she tried to remember the details of Asuka's trip. "Well... I think her last stop was... the U.S.A."

"Anyway, on behalf of the entire school district, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to come give your speeches here at D.C. Junior High School. I know you've been very busy speaking to government and other political audiences, and I do apologize for imposing on you out of the blue like this to speak to the classes."  
Asuka smiled at the older lady who served as vice principal in the school. "Do not worry! I like dealing with children more than politicians, anyway!"  
"Oh, I'm glad to hear it," the kindly old woman said, smiling at Asuka's effective, but inefficient English. "You brave police officers have been through so much; I really think it's wonderful that the children get the chance to talk to you!"  
"No worries!" The blue-haired woman said cheerfully. "I have to find Lieutenant Yakata now so we can begin."  
"Oh, that's all right! He's already started his speech for another class! We were thinking we could divide you up, so that you could both cover the entire senior... Miss Takami? Is something wrong?" The Vice Principal stopped as Asuka halted in the hall, a look of horror on her face.  
"You... You let Snake speak to the students... unsupervised?" Asuka twitched.  
"Snake? Oh, you mean Yakata-san! Yes. Is that a problem? He said he could handle it without your help."  
The old woman was startled badly as Asuka suddenly grabbed her by her shoulders, looking desperate. "Fast! We must find Snake! Young lives at stake!"  
Now quite confused and frightened, the V.P. quickly rushed toward the classroom she had assigned the DAPC's weapons expert, wondering what trouble Asuka expected of a subordinate that, for all the V.P. knew, she trusted and respected.

"And so kids, it's important to remember that in order to keep America strong, and ensure that our nation never crumbles in the face of a terrorist onslaught, you must each work hard to become successful and productive members of society," Snake spared a moment to glance at Asuka and the vice principal that had just burst into the room, but ignored them after seeing that they weren't going to interrupt right away. "So do yourself and society a favor: Stay in school!"  
Asuka stared at her subordinate for a moment, and then let out a deep breath of relief; it appeared she had underestimated Snake's ability to give a short speech without acting like a total psycho.  
"So what's wrong? Everything looks okay to me..." The V.P. said cautiously, aware that Snake was now looking at the two of them expectantly, no doubt seeking an explanation.  
"Uh... it is nothing. I made a mistake." She smiled approving at Snake. "Keep up the good work, Yakata-san!"  
Snake shrugged, and was preparing to move on with the presentation, when the Vice Principal noticed that each student's desk had several metal parts on it, next to small notepads where schematics had been drawn.  
"Oh! Are you doing an arts and crafts demonstration?"  
Asuka noticed the pieces on the students' desks, and her eyes bugged out as she recognized them immediately.  
"Arts and crafts... something like that, yeah." Snake turned back toward the class. "All right kids! I told you there would be a test after we watched the NRA initiation film, and this is it! Each of you has to assemble, load, and successfully test fire a standard-issue 9 mm. Beretta! I'll be timing you!"  
"Ack!" Asuka jumped behind the Vice Principal, barely managing to catch the old woman as she fainted dead away.  
Snake smirked as he took out a stopwatch. "All right, you ready? First one done gets to keep theirs! And... AUGH!" The DA's weapons specialist was interrupted right before he could start the trial, being tackled by Asuka and fiercely wrestled to the floor.  
The students, most of whom were eagerly awaiting Snake's signal to begin, sweatdropped as they watched the DAPC Captain pick up Snake by his hair and then slam his head down onto the table, putting his arm in a lock behind his back at the same time.  
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Asuka, what's the deal! OW!" Snake shouted painfully, instinctively switching back to Japanese as he complained to his superior.  
Asuka planted one elbow on Snake's neck, and then growled as she addressed the stupefied class. "Stop staring and give back those gun parts! NOW!"  
The frightened children jumped to obey the scary lady, and soon the pre-teenagers were rushing to dump the metal pieces on their desks into the large bag that Snake had originally disbursed them from.  
Once she was satisfied that all the gun parts had been returned and all the children were seated back at their desks (many of them trembling slightly), Asuka removed her elbow and yanked Snake up to his feet, though she still held his arm fast.  
"Remember kids! Say 'no' to violence!" Asuka growled.  
"Say 'no' to violence?" Snake scoffed. "Didn't we come here to teach them that we should kill terrorists instead ooowaaaugh! Sorry! Ow! No more hurting!"  
One girl in the front raised her hand as Asuka started dragging her subordinate out the door. "Ma'am? Don't your actions indicate that using violence is a perfect means of getting our own way and enforcing order?"  
Asuka stopped tugging Snake out the door, and frowned as she stopped to think. "You have a point. But on the other hand, shut up and do what I say." She tugged hard on Snake, who let out a strangled yelp of pain. "We are going to have a VERY long talk about this once we get out of here! Come on!"  
"Wait! Captain! Calm down! Ouch! I was just trying to adjust our speeches to American cultural values! OW!" As he was dragged into the hall, Snake shouted his closing statements to the class.  
"SUPPORT GUN OWNERS' RIGHTS! CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IS JUST! VOTE REPUBLICAN! Ow! Leggo my ear!"

Rayden looked dispassionately upon the gates of the waste storage facility that served the Freedom's Angels as a weapons warehouse. The gate was only slightly sturdier than the type usually associated with run-down corporate structures awaiting demolition and recomission, and had a ramshackle mess of barbed wire atop the fencing edge to prevent entry by thieves or troublemaking vandals.  
Overall, it was more protection than the warehouse appeared to warrant, but it was not so much that it would draw unwanted attention. The Angels may have been arrogant, second-rate tacticians, but they knew how to survive in their chosen environment. No doubt the structure was one of dozens, possibly hundreds; all of them simply excess property and assets pushed into the corner of some large corporation's balance sheets. Training camps became factories, and funds were funneled from all manner of projects and deals, both illegal and legitimate, to turn raw materials into monstrous weapons.  
It was an act of war at its most vile, as an army rallied against the very beaurocracy and economic mesh that protected it from Japan's armies.  
Rayden shifted the wrapped-up weapon resting on his shoulder, and leapt up into the air, easily clearing the barbed wire and landing heavily on the other side.

Simply ripping the lock off the door, Rayden entered the side door to the facility without bothering to conceal his entry.  
He had recovered the location of the warehouse almost by accident, as he had caught an FA agent concluding an arms deal with an upper-rung Yakuza man who had been on the regular search-and-destroy list that occupied Rayden's time from day-to-day. The Yakuza had died quickly, but the terrorist had actually attacked with a shotgun blast originating from a prosthetic left arm, in a manner that had before been associated solely with Igov Yutchzky himself.  
After removing the cybernetic limb in a manner that couldn't be considered "surgical" in any sense of the word, the Catholic justice hunter was understandably curious as to where and how the terrorist had acquired such a thing.  
It had taken significant time and interrogation, but he had gleaned many things from the coward before leaving his broken body on the street for the police or his masters to deal with as they saw fit.  
It seemed that certain minds in the Angels' scientific circles have been toying with the idea of "upgrading" their current staff of killers and fools to make them more effective on the battle lines, either through the use of bio-genetic or cybernetic augmentation. And while the former was still in its experimental stages and the latter was limited to those of their number that required prosthetic limbs, the project was still making a disturbing amount of progress.  
While Rayden was pretty much opposed to **any** improvements in weapons technology that fell into the hands of the Angels, the procurement of technology that was exclusive to Igov Yutchzky was particularly troubling; Igov's wife and his weapons labs in Russia had created devices decades ahead of modern technology in the fields of prosthetics and artificial organs. And he had already seen weapons come from the Freedom's Angels that seemed to exceed the technological abilities of their father nation.  
'It is strangely fitting that a product of Russia's twisted militaristic sciences should destroy Igov and his toys,' Rayden thought bitterly, feeling the floor of the empty warehouse.  
He had been to two other facilities this day alone, and though he found the "true" facilities underneath the barren and empty ones, they had been only slightly less barren than the false structures, having their equipment moved or ransacked. Apparently the terrorists were even scaling back their notorious secret weapons facilities in an effort to concentrate production and funds and avoid loss and detection.  
It seemed that the Freedom's Angels had been hurt badly by their last string of defeats, and had retreated to lick their wounds. But Rayden was not one to let a wounded foe limp back to safety.

Without bothering to look for whatever mechanism opened the hidden entryway to the underground facility, Rayden dug his fingers into the face of the steel plating, the metals screeching as they gave way to his enhanced strength.  
The hatch groaned as it was then pulled upward, bowing outward as the corners of the plating attempted to resist the force wrenching at its center.  
Frowning, Rayden moved to clench the hatch along one of the edges, and with his improved leverage he tore the metal plate free of its frame, revealing a ramshackle aluminum staircase below.  
The super-soldier picked up Judgment with one arm, and with his other he withdrew a large sub-machine gun. "May God protect his children from the creations of fools and madmen," the Russian muttered, unsure as to why he suddenly felt compelled to voice the prayer. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

"Professor! Professor Konta! We have-" the aide stopped short in his desperate message as Yoshi held his hand up, not bothering to look at the other man.  
On the screens in front of him, medical data raced across the lengths of glass; wildly fluctuating bars and lines that no layman had a hope of attaching meaning to.  
In Yoshi's mind, however, the data fell neatly into place. Heart rate, blood pressure, neural patterns, oxygen consumption ratios; the numbers weaved a vast tapestry that was itself a human being.  
'WAS a human being,' Yoshi noted mentally. He supposed that the police officer's DNA had been corrupted past the point where it could be recognized as human by now.  
The aide waited nervously as Yoshi stared ponderously at the displays in front of him. One display quickly caught his eye, however, and the man gaped in disbelief at the live video feed of the combat room below.  
Yoshi smirked. "It truly is incredible, isn't it? A tweak to the gene, and the line blurs between beast and man." The aide nodded dumbly, not bothering to point out the exaggeration of calling Kyle's mutation a 'tweak to the gene'.  
Through the video feed, the two men watched as Kyle viciously slugged it out with a massive K-series mutant, charging the mauler head-on and tossing the monstrous creature across the room.  
Kyle himself sported a few large gashes from the mauler's claws, but where the huge talons should have gouged through flesh and bone with equal efficiency, they had left only shallow wounds that clotted within seconds; one could not tell, upon looking at the blonde man, whether he had suffered the cuts today or a week ago.  
The mutant wasn't faring nearly as well, as his own biology had not allowed the possibility of a genetically enhanced healing factor, and as a result it moved sluggishly as it struggled with its horribly mangled right arm and shattered left leg.  
The amusement Yoshi felt at watching his subordinate gape in awe quickly abated. "I believe you had something to tell me?"  
The aide looked startled, suddenly realizing that he had nearly forgotten his important news. "Professor Konta, we've just received a security signal from one of the active bio-weapon storage facilities in the sixth industrial sector. It would appear it has been broken into!"  
Yoshi nodded, obviously not very concerned. "This is the fourth such break-in that's occurred over this last week, correct?"  
"Y-Yes sir, but those other facilities had been previously cleared via Ms. Tokima's orders, to decrease production expenses, so it wasn't given much attention. I believe Ms. Tokima will demand an investigation to try and track the security leak."  
"Bah!" Yoshi scoffed, resting his arms over his stomach as he watched Kyle knock the mauler down. "Ms. Tokima is a fool! Our forces are broken and scattered; of course there's going to be intelligence leaks! I personally find it unfathomable that the bureaucrats haven't torn Wraith Labs apart by now!"  
The diminutive scientist grinned as he kept his eyes trained on the video feed.

Kyle slammed his fist down hard into the mauler's back, which earned him a satisfying cracking noise as the hardened flesh of the mutant failed to protect its internal structure.  
Quickly turning, the blonde man grabbed hold of the creature's faceless head, and then, without hesitation or fanfare, he pulled hard on it, tearing off the mutant's skull as blood spattered all about him.

"Over already? Hm." Once again ignoring the aide, who looked ready to vomit at this point, Yoshi went over the data collected during the fight.  
"Let's see... I assume **I'm** to do something about the intrusion?"  
The aide chewed his lip nervously as he replied. "Well... I came to you first... I mean, we caught it in enough time that we could still capture or eliminate the intruder, and... uh... well, we're the only branch in Tokima's networks that has resources to spare." The aide sweatdropped, being able to appreciate the irony that what was essentially a glorified terrorist R&D department possessed greater manpower and fighting strength than what remained of the core armies.  
"Very well then," Yoshi said simply, pressing a button on the intercom that linked him to Kyle's combat arena. "Subject 341, testing complete. Report to area six to... Ahem! Subject 341!" Yoshi twitched as Kyle ignored him, staring at the shiny carapace that protected the area of the mauler that would normally hold its face.  
"Subject 341, respond now!"  
Whoa... how do ya think these things see? Kyle asked, his voice filtering back to the scientists through the room's audio feed.  
Yoshi slapped his forehead. "Oh for the love of..."  
Hey! I know! Maybe they use echo-whatsit like bats and dolphins?  
Yoshi took a deep breath to calm himself. "The Kain module makes the brain super-sensitive to electric pulses, along with a simplified thermal-imaging sense that allows the mutant to track body heat."  
Kyle was silent for a long moment as he continued to stare at the decapitated head. So does that make it colorblind, or what?  
Bam! Bam! Bam! The aide sweatdropped heavily as he witnessed the normally unflappable Yoshi Konta beat his head against a computer monitor.  
"Uhm... Professor? Should I ask Ms. Tokima or General Yutchzky for help?"  
"No, no... I can handle this..." Yoshi rubbed his head as he spoke into the microphone through clenched teeth. "SUBJECT 341, AT ATTENTION!"  
Kyle bolted upright as if electrocuted, and dropped the mauler's head at his feet.  
"Good. Now proceed to-"  
Eeeew! I got blood and gunk on my shoes!  
"SUBJECT 341! SHUT THE **HELL** UP!"  
Kyle pouted and stood at attention, though he didn't face the camera as he didn't know where the voice was coming from. ... You know, I have a name, Kyle said after a moment of silence.  
'Is he actually going to cry?' The aide thought, looking astounded as he watched Yoshi hold his face in his hands.  
"Look, just... just go to area six for cleanup and repair. You're being reassigned."  
Kyle perked up. Reassigned? Does that mean I get to leave?  
Yoshi twitched. "Yes, you get to leave. And good riddance. Your next mission will be a search and destroy deployment near a terrorist facility. You'll receive the details once you've been outfitted." Then Yoshi's expression became more somber. "After that, I have a... 'special' final assignment for you."  
Kyle grinned. All right! Thank you, Mister Voice in My Head!  
Bam! Bam! Bam! The aide sweatdropped. "Yeah... maybe I should go now..."

Rayden grimaced as he finished prying the lid off the first of dozens of crates scattered all about the underground warehouse. A cube of tightly-packed, small black spheres looked back at him.  
Throwing caution to the wind, the wandering fighter picked up one of the spheres, squeezing it gently to determine its hardness.  
Crick Crack  
Almost immediately, a side of the sphere broke open, and a slimy, swollen black mass bulged out, breaking the shell around it apart.  
The vamp parasite finally managed to get free of its egg, and slithered about in Rayden's palm for a moment, failing to breach the leather gloves that protected his hands and kept the mutant slug from the precious warmth and energy that had awoken it.  
Rayden frowned, then shook his head and threw the vamp onto the floor in front of him.  
'A low-class storage facility, obviously... but the lack of security is troubling. Either Japan's forces have dealt the terrorist scum a harsher blow than I thought, or they're merely hoarding their resources for now.'  
No matter what the cause, his course of action was clear. Rayden reached into his coat and withdrew a relatively small block of plastic explosives that he had taken from a weapons deal he had "interrupted".  
Moving to the center of the underground base, the crusader attached the bomb to the main support beam in the center of the warehouse.  
As with most structures of this sort, the construction had been hasty and poorly planned, if not done efficiently. Such facilities stood perfectly well on their own, but tended to buckle far more easily than normal buildings with a minor application of explosives.  
Setting the charge, Rayden swiftly made his way toward the entry stairwell.

"So all that I'm saying is, you didn't have to make me refuse France. You think I WANTED it?"  
Asuka crossed her arms over her chest as her subordinate drove them back to HQ from the airport. "Don't give me that! You were going to accept it, weren't you?"  
"Well... yeah! At first! I mean, how often is it that a whole country surrenders to you?"  
"It was your second one this trip," Asuka deadpanned.  
"I maintain that if a well-armed man takes a nap in the lobby of Poland's Prime Minister's office, that doesn't count as 'conquering' the country," Snake said defensively. "Besides, at least I had to work to get France!"  
"You made Chirac cry!"  
Snake snorted. "Well, if he's going to be such a wuss, then... wait..."  
Asuka frowned as she scanned the road ahead. "What's wrong?"  
"Over there!" Snake pointed off to the side, and Asuka was treated to the sight of seeing a small, distant cloud of dust rising into the air. "There was an explosion! Small one, though."  
The blue-haired woman scratched her chin. "Damn... first thing when we get back... do you think we have time to go to... H... Q..." she trailed off and sighed as Snake made the proper turn, and began speeding toward the source of the destruction.

Satisfied that the rubble from the surface structure had collapsed fully enough to fill the underground structure, Rayden hefted Judgment over his shoulder and turned away, deeming his mission complete.  
He fell back, startled, as he saw that there was a man standing behind him, staring at him. 'What? Where did he come from?'  
Upon closer inspection, he remembered where he had seen this man before. The long blond hair was particularly distinctive, as few Japanese people had blonde hair at all, and he could only remember one blond man who kept his hair so long.  
"Good evening, officer. Peace be with you," the crusader said evenly, slightly unnerved by the stony, neutral look Kyle was giving him.  
And with that, Rayden moved to walk past him, not expecting any resistance. After all, he had briefly seen the same officer during the attack by the terrorists' Prometheus mechs in the city, and he hadn't been bothered then.  
Needless to say, the Russian super-soldier was caught completely off-guard when the police officer suddenly bolted forward, slugging him solidly in the stomach.  
"Hack! Caugh!" Rayden dropped Judgment to the side as he spit blood onto the ground, his mind awhirl as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.  
Kyle smirked and threw his arm up, tossing Rayden away and smashing the Catholic fighter into the rubble that remained from the hidden warehouse. Dust and concrete burst upward from the force, and Kyle's target was momentarily lost to him.  
The blond police officer walked up to the blast site silently, once again not deigning to utter battlecries or taunts.  
Stopping just a meter away from where Rayden had landed, Kyle patiently waited for the dust to clear.  
C-click! When it did, the brainwashed cop found himself staring down the barrel of a .45 caliber pistol.  
Rayden stood panting for a moment, extremely disturbed by the complete lack of response from his opponent. "I do not wish to harm you! I do not know what provoked this attack, but-"  
Thwack! Rayden blinked in surprise as his gun was swatted out of his hand almost casually, and gasped as Kyle took hold of his throat.  
"Wh-What is Cough! this!" The crusader shouted as he struggled. The blond man's attacks were moving at speeds that Rayden had assumed only he was capable of, and as he felt Kyle's grip tighten around his neck, he had to admit that the police officer's strength at least approached his own.  
"Die," Kyle said simply, uttering his first word since he had arrived on the site. Then he swung Rayden up and over his head, slamming the Catholic fighter down hard into the ground.  
"G-hack!" Rayden felt more blood rise to his throat as the pavement cracked around him, and finally decided that some kind of defense was in order.  
Thock! Kyle flew back as Rayden's foot smashed into his chest, and the genetically enhanced officer fell against the fence surrounding the compound, stunned but barely hurt.  
Grasping in his coat for a weapon, Rayden withdrew a smaller 9 mm. pistol and fired desperately at his foe, hoping to wound or stave the man off so that he could escape.  
It was not to be, as Kyle dove to the side and then jumped high in an arc toward the crusader, displaying a level of grace and dexterity that Rayden couldn't have guessed at from Kyle's earlier movements.  
Blam! Blam! His last two shots went wide, and Rayden grimaced as Kyle landed lightly right next to him.  
The police officer's next movements were anything but light and graceful, and he grabbed Rayden's gun hand with one arm and Rayden's face with the other, applying severe pressure to both.  
Thinking quickly the Catholic fighter punched Kyle hard in the chest, which appeared to do nothing except alert the brainwashed fool that his current position was vulnerable.  
Wham! Kyle pulled Rayden's face up and then smashed it into the concrete again, and then flung him away into the fence, aiming for the barbed wire portion.  
Though irritating, the fence and wire hardly presented a significant obstacle for the Russian gunman, as opposed to the aching soreness throughout his body, and the multiple bloody wounds on his head. Fighting through the mental haze that threatened to take him into unconsciousness, Rayden fumbled around in his pockets for his cigarette lighter.  
As Kyle's psyche had, much to Yoshi's disappointment, not completely succumbed to the chemical controls which assaulted it, the blond man stopped in mid-charge to wonder why his enemy would take out a cigarette lighter when he was both in the middle of a fight for his life, and also lacking a cigarette.  
Beep! When Kyle noticed that he had a small, disc-shaped bomb attached to his chest where Rayden had hit him, the sequence of events became clear to him.  
"This is going to hurt, isn't it?" Kablam!

Rayden stumbled awkwardly to his feet, his entire body protesting as he groped at his coat for another firearm. He felt by now that he had a good feel for how strong, fast, and resilient Kyle had become, and the relatively tiny charge wasn't likely to do more than stun him.  
The Russian tripped as he lumbered forward, and then winced as he hit the ground face-first.  
'What is this?' he thought to himself, 'I can't be this weak! His attacks didn't-'  
The crusader's eyes widened, and he quickly began grasping at his leg, confirming his suspicions as he felt a soft, squishy bulge under his pant leg that he had somehow failed to notice before.  
Ripping a tear into the pant leg, Rayden grabbed the vamp that had attached to his leg and crushed it in his hand, reducing the parasite to a moist, black mush.  
Killing the vamp only served to slow the progression of the toxins that already flowed through him, however, and the Catholic fighter mumbled a short prayer as he tried to fight the powerful fog clouding his vision and muddling his thoughts.  
Kyle wasn't about to wait for that to happen, and before Rayden even knew that the police officer had recovered from the blast, he felt himself being lifted into the air.

Kyle wordlessly lifted Rayden up by the front of his trench coat, idly wondering why the gunman looked so drained after merely being beaten into the ground with enough force to rend steel armor.  
Actually, he was wondering a lot of things now, as the explosion that had left his chest and face a soot-covered mess had jarred his mind partially free of the powerful chemicals that dictated his actions and ensured the mission's proceedings, such that he was now giving small distractions more attention.  
For example, he had gripped his hand into a fist to began pulverizing his enemy, but he was suddenly wondering why he should kill Rayden in the first place. He had seen the guy pulverize one of the Prometheus mecha way back when the city had come under the first major attack, and really couldn't think of a good reason to fight the man. After all, Ranma and Asuka seemed to think he was okay, and they were **much** better judges of character than he was.  
Another example came from the screeching of tires on asphalt several meters behind him. Kyle turned to look, and his eyes widened as he saw the last two people he expected to arrive on the scene to find him.

"Kyle? What are you doing?" Asuka asked, frowning as she got out of the car.  
Snake joined her after a moment, his sidearm already out and with its safety off. "Ha! Looks like the commander caught himself a Russian!"  
Kyle blinked. "Captain? Snake? What are you two doing here?"  
Asuka continued frowning. "We got back a little early after Snake made some of the U.S. democrats a little upset. We weren't really welcome there."  
"I merely suggested that if any of them had been raised in Texas instead of their sissy little liberal states, that they wouldn't be the complete idiots they are today. For example, most of them would probably be dead."  
Asuka ignored her third-in-command in favor of her second. "Never mind that, though. Why are you attacking this man?"  
Kyle looked at Rayden, scratched his head, then shrugged and dropped the groaning Russian onto the ground. "I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time."  
Asuka made a sound that was half-way between a groan and growl as she massaged her head. "Well, leave him alone! Though I am surprised you were able to take him..." while she had never witnessed the superhuman extent of Rayden's power, she did know that he was a very effective gunman, and Kyle didn't seem to be armed. "Whatever. Go wait in the car."  
Kyle did as he was told, and Asuka leaned down next to the beaten Russian, first checking his pulse, and then looking over the intensity of the head wounds. "Huh. Doesn't look like you're hurt too badly."  
Rayden mumbled something, and Asuka frowned, unable to make it out. "Um, look, I can't really take you to a hospital, because you're kind of a wanted man, you know? And I COULD take you back to HQ and have Sakura fix you up, but I'd really prefer not to. Are you gonna be okay out here alone?"  
The Russian gunman slowly began to get up, the toxins from the vamp finally having spread themselves too thin to be effective. "Th-That... That man... he-"  
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Asuka said dismissively, turning and starting to walk away. "Kyle's really an alright guy. He just gets... confused sometimes. He probably just made a mistake. I'll talk to him."  
"B-But-"  
Asuka again cut him off as Snake got back into the car. "G'bye! Good luck on your crusade against evil, or whatever!" Then she got into the car herself, shutting the door even as Rayden tried to muster the presence of mind to shout a warning to her.

Rayden pushed himself slowly to his feet, still fighting the haze that clouded his mind.  
The biological mutations that made him what he was were very specific in nature, tweaked to maximize certain traits and effects and minimize others. Besides the obvious boosts in speed and strength, he had also been born sterile, had an extremely powerful metabolism, and was also super-sensitive to the effects of drugs and poisons.  
The practical benefits of this were to allow Rayden to consume drugs for combat purposes, maximize the length of their effects, and minimize the chances of severe dependency and the associated withdrawals. The flip side was that poisons, such as the mind-altering paralysis toxins generated by vamps, had an extreme and extended effect upon him. And right now, Rayden was feeling the full burden of that weakness.  
Thud! Once again, his legs failed to move in the proper sequence, and the Russian fell flat on his face as his body continued to resist his command.  
'I must move! I have to remain conscious!' While he was pretty sure he wouldn't suffer the zombie-like effects of the vamp without continued exposure to the parasite, he was also pretty sure that more police officers would be arriving at the site of the explosion to investigate, and the vast majority of them wouldn't be as understanding and lenient as the DAPC's Captain.  
The gunman felt his arms go completely numb, and struggled as his vision started to fade.  
"And in the end, as has always been my fate, I am again in God's hands. Amen..." the mumbled, half-intelligible prayer died on Rayden's lips as he finally lost consciousness.

Kyle scratched his head as he watched a different police car speed past, going toward the wrecked building.  
'Huh? Was that a DAPC patrol car?'  
"So seriously Kyle," Asuka said suddenly, "why were you attacking Shikodan? Granted you have a reputation for doing stupid things, but random acts of personal violence are fairly new."  
Kyle grimaced. "Oh... well, I didn't want to sound weird, but I have this voice in my head that tells me to kill people, and I feel compelled to do whatever it says."  
Asuka turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. "Say what?"  
"Don't sweat it," Snake said, smirking. "It's perfectly normal. Just try to concentrate your urge for blood on legitimate targets."  
Asuka then turned to look at Snake. "It's **not** normal. AT ALL."  
The American blinked. "Oh! Uh... yeah. I knew that," he said hastily, looking suddenly perturbed.  
The police Captain sighed and turned forward again. "Tekai, I'd recommend you see a head doctor if I thought you had anything worth examining."

Kyle flinched, and his pupils suddenly shrunk as a loud buzzing noise erupted in his head.  
'KILL.'

"I wonder how the others made out without me," Asuka mused, putting Kyle's apparent insanity aside for the moment.  
Snake chuckled. "In Chikiko's case, it's safe to say she made out very well, and quite often."  
The blue-haired woman sweatdropped. "As refreshing as it is to hear an actual joke from you instead of something insane meant to be taken seriously... shut up."

'YOUR MISSION... IS TO KILL...'  
Kyle twitched, and his eyes darted to the side compartment of Snake's patrol car, where a high-caliber handgun lay nestled amongst the road maps and a half-eaten roll of Mentos.

Asuka frowned deeply, spending a few moments riding in silence. "Well... do you really think she slept with **everyone**?"  
"Huh?" Snake asked, glancing at his superior for a moment.  
"Junko. Do you think she'd really take advantage of me not being there to enforce discipline?" Asuka looked strangely nervous about the prospect, which confused the Hell out of Snake.  
"'Take advantage of the situation'? What are you, her babysitter?" Snake asked bluntly. "Cap, the guys can take care of themselves. I don't think you have to worry about big, bad Chikiko sexually assaulting them because you're not there to keep an eye on her."  
Asuka had the decency to blush; it was a pretty silly prospect. "Yeah, yeah, okay. You're right."  
"Besides, if I may say so myself, you did a bloody poor job of 'enforcing discipline' anyway."  
"Hey!"

Kyle's hand shook unsteadily as he carefully checked the ammunition and then moved to undo the safety.  
The parts of his mind that hadn't been completely overwhelmed by Yoshi's neural manipulation techniques weren't surprised at all when they found that the safeties had already been switched off. They also knew that handguns weren't the most powerful weapons Snake stored in his car, armed and ready to go off at the twitch of a finger.  
'YOUR MISSION... IS TO KILL... CAPTAIN ASUKA TAKAMI...'  
Wordlessly, expressionlessly, and without further hesitation, Kyle raised the pistol and aimed it at the head cushion on Asuka's seat, drawing a line through her skull that would likely reduce it to a mess of tiny fragments.

"I try to keep order, you know! And it's mostly because you and Kyle keep undermining my authority that I have such a hard time about it!" The bluette growled.  
Snake snorted, forgetting to keep his eyes on the road. "Well excuse me for trying to stay a little loose! You know, it's hard enough to deal with the horrors of the paranormal without you always getting on my case just for learning to enjoy it!"  
"You don't 'deal' with the paranormal, you shoot it on sight!"  
"And what's wrong with-WHOA, RED LIGHT!" Snake shouted, slamming on the brakes suddenly, and pitching his passengers forward suddenly.  
Blam! Asuka blinked as the sound of a gunshot erupted right behind her head, being too stunned from the sudden deceleration to offer a more dramatic response.  
Turning around, she saw that the pistol was resting on the top of her seat headrest, being held at an awkward angle just above Kyle's head, which was planted in the back of her seat. As expected, there was a hole in the roof of the car, and a hot casing on the floor next to Kyle's foot.  
She grit her teeth and glared at the blond man. "Kyle, how many times have I told you not to play with Snake's guns while we're in the car! I swear to God, I DO have to act like a babysitter around you idiots!"  
Snake smirked as Kyle recovered. "Take it easy on the guy, Captain! He's just practicing his Second Amendment rights, as guaranteed to all Americans!" Seeing the light turn green, Snake accelerated through the intersection.  
"And as admirable as your dedication to freedom is," Asuka deadpanned, "I must again point out that Kyle is not an American citizen, and that Japan offers no such rights."

Kyle lowered the handgun and frowned. He was about to try again, when a familiar melody attracted his attention, and he looked out the side window.  
"Ooh! Ice cream truck!" Per the norm, certain parts of his brain continued working while other parts devoted their full attentions to Kyle's latest distraction. Wires were crossed, and as usual, bad things resulted.

"Why **isn't** there an NRA in Japan?" Snake wondered aloud, making sure not to let his discussion distract him from driving this time.  
"I'd guess there just aren't enough crazy people like you to form an effective lobby." Asuka leaned back in her chair, inadvertently hitting Kyle's hand while she reclined. "Besides, we-" Blam!  
Asuka jerked forward, and then turned to look in the back. "DAMMIT KYLE, WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF!"  
The blond man twitched. "Urgh... sorry."  
Frowning, the police Captain looked at where the pistol was currently pointed. "Did you just shoot yourself in the leg?"  
"It would seem so," Kyle murmured, finally putting the gun away. "Don't worry though; I'm bulletproof now."  
Asuka and Snake both blinked. "You are?"  
"Well... bullet **resistant** would be more accurate, I guess," Kyle rubbed his leg as he spoke, "you see, I was genetically enhanced while you were gone!"  
Asuka stared directly at him, while Snake stared indirectly at him, by virtue of the rear-view mirror.  
"It's way too soon after I got back to deal with this nonsense," the police Captain mumbled, rubbing her head. "Let's just get back to HQ. Though I dread what the place will look like when I come back a day earlier than they expected."  
"Chill, Cap. We're here."

Snake pulled into the front parking lot of DAPC Headquarters, remarking off-hand about how less safe the place appeared now that the land mines had been removed. Much to Asuka's surprise, Kyle immediately agreed.  
"Well, the building's still standing, and it looks like most of the windows are intact. I'd say they've already exceeded my expectations."  
"It's the miracle of low standards," Snake said smugly, unlocking his seat belt.  
"Ha ha. Let's go." Asuka turned her head and began to exit the car at the exact moment that a standard-issue combat knife pierced the back of her headrest, missing her neck by centimeters. She didn't notice.  
Snake did, however. "Aw, man! C'mon, stop destroying my car, wouldja? I was sympathetic with the guns, but enough is enough!"  
Leaving Kyle to sulk by himself, the DA's weapons specialist entered the HQ building behind Asuka, complaining about how his short vacation may have allowed Ranma to compete with his kill count.

Kyle, who still sat in the back seat of Snake's car, yanked his knife out of Asuka's seat and put it back in the sheath, looking downcast.  
He looked troubled for a moment, and idly reached for the opened roll of candies in the compartment where he had found the gun.  
Kyle popped one of the Mentos into his mouth, and had begun to roll the candy around in his mouth, when his expression suddenly brightened.  
Looking to Asuka's car, which was parked on the side of the lot, and had been since she left, the genetically enhanced idiot jumped out of Snake's vehicle to get to work.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way Ms. Lum," Sakura said patiently to the green haired alien glaring furiously at her, "but you really have no leeway in this case."  
"What do you mean!" The space oni said angrily, baring her fangs. "You can't just go tow my flying saucer away and then bill me for it! And what's with all these other charges!" She demanded, holding up a relatively long piece of paper with a very large and frightening total printed on the bottom.  
"Your unregistered and uninsured U.F.O. that didn't have a license plate was parked across the width of the parking lot roadway, on top of twenty-two separate parking spaces," Ranma explained unsympathetically. "TEN of which were handicapped spaces. And we checked the damn ship ALL OVER for the sticker, so don't even try to tell us you had one."  
"It's not my fault the mall doesn't have U.F.O. parking!" Lum protested, becoming more and more agitated with the turn of events.  
"Traffic laws clearly state that in constructing parking lots, builders and designers must allow for a small number of spaces to be allotted to accommodate motorcycles, hovercraft, tanks, spider-like giant robots, smaller mecha, and mythical beasts used for transportation, such as pegasus or wyverns," Tycho rattled off as he grinned at the alien, "however, they cannot be held responsible for failing to provide proper spaces for actual interstellar craft, of which your flying saucer clearly applies. If you can't keep the damn things in low Earth orbit, then that's your problem. We don't want 'em down here."  
Sakura frowned. "Also, we could easily get you for indecent exposure, too."  
Ranma sweatdropped, and cast a glance over to his side, where Tiro and Tycho were openly salivating at the sight of the voluptuous alien woman marching about in a furry, tiger-striped bikini and knee-high tiger-striped socks.  
Mizu was behind Tiro and Tycho, though she had planted her face down on the desk and covered her head with her hands, as if hoping to shield herself from the madness.  
"This is an outrage! I refuse to be treated this way!" Lum shouted, waving her hands in the air and causing her breasts to shake precisely to Tiro and Tycho's satisfaction.  
The former of the two wiped off his chin. "Well, if you don't have the money... heh heh... maybe we could... work something else out?"  
"The hell we can!" Tycho shouted suddenly. "Do you know the kind of bonus we get for writing a ticket that big?"  
Ranma sweatdropped again, and looked to Mizu for help, hoping that she could sort out the problem before a big fight started, and also get the alien girl out of their hair. That hope was dashed as Mizu ducked under the front desk completely.  
'Hmmm... I really thought she'd take commanding the DAPC better than this...' he really did feel sorry for imposing upon his friend for a task that he wouldn't dare take on himself, but he really had no choice; her help in providing a single voice of stability alongside Tiro and Tycho's ineptitude and Sakura and Junko's impotence had been a huge help, even if she did appear to be slowly going insane.  
"Well if you can't help me, then take me to someone who can!" Lum demanded, inwardly debating whether to electrocute somebody for emphasis (and it was very lucky for her that she relented; the DAPC were not known for their tolerance of alien aggression, nor were her powers capable of protecting her from projectile weapons).  
Asuka cleared her throat, suddenly alerting everyone in the room to her presence at the front door. "Maybe I can be of service?"  
"C-CAPTAIN!" The officers of the DAPC all shouted at once, staring at the blue-haired woman as if she might be a mirage.  
"Yup!" Snake said happily, stepping in front of his superior officer. "And look who else is-WAUGH!" The Texan was shoved to the side as the other officers rushed past him, crowding around a surprised Asuka.  
"Thank God you're here!"  
"We missed you, Captain!"  
"You're a day early! Way to go!"  
"We were afraid you weren't coming back!"  
The police Captain blushed. She was aware by now that her command and leadership was well appreciated, but her subordinates continued to surprise her with their honesty about how helpless they were without her.  
Glomp! "You came back! Thank you! Thank you so much!"  
Asuka blinked, and stared at the raven-haired woman who was crying while attached to her leg. "Um... you're welcome. Who are you again?" She knew she had seen the woman somewhere before, but couldn't remember precisely who she was, or why she would be in DAPC headquarters.  
"This is, uh, Mizu Toketsu, remember?" Ranma explained. "She's with Core. I got her to help keep things in shape while you were gone."  
Asuka frowned at this, but decided to put it aside for now. Ultimately, she was glad to see that HQ had survived her absence completely intact. She could go over the details later.  
"First things first. Miss horned alien?"  
Lum twitched at the form of address. "Yes? Are you going to do something about this?" She held out the huge ticket to the police Captain, who took it and quickly scanned the key items.  
Asuka turned toward Ranma. "All legit?"  
Ranma nodded. "All of it. And we didn't even include the charges and fines for parking on and crushing the other cars in those spaces." When they had written the ticket, it had struck them as hypocritical to include collateral damage in the total fines, given the well-deserved reputation of their department. That, and it was a whole mess of extra paperwork.  
Asuka turned back toward the alien. "And you can't pay?"  
"Of course I can't pay!" Lum shouted. "I don't have any money! Even Mendo's family would go broke paying a fee like that!"  
Asuka nodded, though she had no idea who Mendo was, or why it was a relevant comparison. "That IS a lot of zeros. Okay then." Without further explanation or argument, she then tore the ticket in half, and then tossed it in the trash. "All finished. You can pick up your ship at the specified impound lot tomorrow. Now leave."  
Lum looked surprised, but ultimately pleased, and gave the gaping Junko and Sakura a haughty smirk as she floated toward the exit.

As soon as the alien had left and was out of earshot, Asuka turned to Snake, who was still looking slightly miffed about not being welcomed back. "Snake, contact the impound lot and tell them the U.F.O. is being decommissioned. Then find someone who could make use of a scrapped hunk of alien technology and tell them to pick it up before the lot closes tonight."  
Snake looked surprised, but then shrugged and left to fulfill his orders.  
"But... we won't get our bonus..." Tycho whined, looking downcast.  
"True," Asuka admitted, "but you have to weigh that against the emotional satisfaction of screwing that bikini freak over out of spite."  
Tycho frowned, then raised an eyebrow. "Yeah... now that you mention it, that **does** make me feel better!"  
"Good. Now that that's over with..." She looked down at the Core soldier still attached to her leg. "So why is she here, again?"  
Tycho sighed. "Kyle was captured by evil scientists, so we were pretty much leaderless. Saotome here wasn't a big help, either."  
"At least I actually DID something when other people were in trouble, instead of playing cards and chess!" Ranma growled.  
"It was BACKGAMMON, not chess," Tycho snapped back, as if the distinction made any difference to his point, "besides, when I **do** try to help, all you do is complain!"  
"Why shouldn't we complain when you almost kill us!" Sakura said indignantly.  
Mizu hugged Asuka's leg tighter. "Please take over! I don't know how much more I can take!"  
A vein popped up on Asuka's head as all the reasons she had been eager to leave came crashing into her at once.  
"ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP!" The bluette shouted, causing the others to freeze.  
Asuka looked down at Mizu. "You. You're done here. Go home."  
"Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much!" The Core soldier said gratefully, almost stumbling as she bowed while leaving the building.  
Asuka turned toward Ranma. "Explain to me what Wattai meant when he said that Kyle was kidnapped by evil scientists."  
Ranma blinked. "I, uh... I can't really think of a better way to explain it than that. That's what happened."  
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "And you rescued him?"  
"We **would** have," Ranma assured her, "but we had no way of finding him."  
Asuka's other eyebrow rose. "Then he escaped?"  
"For all we know," the pigtailed man murmured. "He managed to send us a message that he had been captured, but that was it."  
"And you are completely unaware that we just brought him back to HQ in Snake's patrol car?"  
Everyone's eyes widened.  
"HE'S BACK!" Sakura shouted.  
Asuka nodded. "Found him throttling that Catholic gunman we ran into a while back. He seems to be okay." She rolled her eyes. "Well, as okay as Kyle ever gets, anyway."  
"That's great! Where is he!" The blonde asked excitedly.  
Behind her, the men were exchanging doubtful looks, guessing that this situation was more complicated than their bubbly compatriot realized.

Nonetheless, they followed Asuka as eagerly as Sakura did as their Captain led the way back to the parking lot, where she had left the DAPC's least useful senior officer unsupervised.  
Once they arrived, it became apparent that Kyle had been taking full advantage of her absence, as they found him toying with an electronic device on Asuka's car door. Asuka firmly objected to this, both because she didn't like people messing with her property, and because the device definitely had not been there last she checked.  
"Kyle! What are you doing!" Asuka shouted, holding her arm out to keep Sakura from running up and hugging her brother.  
"Just a minute. Almost done," the blond man muttered, switching the final arming mechanism on the device.  
With that done, he turned to face his fellow officers. Then he winked as he held out the half-eaten roll of Mentos in his fist, smiling broadly.  
Asuka ignored the gesture. "Did you just attach an explosive mine to my car?"  
"Yup!" Kyle said bluntly, making note of the loud beeping noise coming from the munitions that indicated the mine was now live and ready for triggering.  
Asuka frowned deeply, crossing her arms over her chest. "And would that happen to be a short-range motion detector on the detonator?"  
"Sure is!" Kyle said, still smiling like a fool.  
The others stared at him, patiently waiting for his situation to sink in.  
"... D'oh!" Beads of sweat started to crawl down the Lieutenant's forehead as his body locked up, aware that any significant movement would prompt an explosion that even his newly enhanced body would have trouble shrugging off.  
Asuka sighed, and massaged her forehead. "Well, what do you think? He sure seems like the real thing, doesn't he?" It had immediately occurred to her that if he had been captured by the enemy, they might have created a clone saboteur like they had with Snake. Honestly though, she wasn't sure whether this incident proved anything either way.  
"Even if he is an enemy in disguise or something, he's doing such a good job of imitating Kyle, he'll probably end up killing himself before he hurts anyone else," Tiro guessed, earning him a glare from Sakura.  
"Yeah, okay. Let's just get Snake in here to disarm the bomb." Asuka sighed. 'What a way to come back to work... and I haven't even dealt with Junko yet.'  
Then the Captain frowned. Speaking of... "By the way, where's Chikiko? Did she give herself the day off or something?"  
"Nah. She's been taking patrols as a way of avoiding specific assignments," Tycho blurted out. "Mostly she roams around the city and picks up guys."

Rayden winced as his vision suddenly returned to him, and he groggily sat up, feeling as if he had just woken up from a deep sleep.  
Immediately grasping for a weapon, he wasn't very surprised when he found himself stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, and bereft of any firearms. Of his other affects only the gold crucifix around his neck remained, and he felt compelled to clench it in his hand as he gained his bearings.  
What **did** come as a surprise as he took in his surroundings, is that he wasn't in a cell or prison of any type, but a well-furnished apartment. His first hopeful thoughts surmised that some miraculous power heard his prayer and had spirited him back to his own temporary residence, but that hypothesis was quickly dashed as he failed to recognize any of the furnishings.  
Taking a more detailed stock of where he was, Rayden noted that he had been placed on a soft, polyester sofa, and had a light comforter over him.  
The dwelling he had arrived in looked to be styled in a manner vaguely reminiscent of the American 70's fads, with low lighting and strange lava lamps and lightning globes scattered around on the shelves. A bookshelf covering one wall of the apartment held a wide-screen TV, a large stereo system, and a single row of books which sat atop a liquor cabinet. Rayden took note that there was no Bible among the books, nor were there any crosses or paraphernalia which indicated religious faith.  
There was, however, a large box of condoms placed on a nightstand next to the couch, most likely stored there for quick and easy access.  
The Russian grimaced. He had no idea what strange turn of events had led him here since he originally lost consciousness, but this reminded him way too much of the stories he heard from drunks and addicts among the many slums and lower circles he had been to. Whatever had happened, he had best find his weapons and leave as quickly as possible.  
Naturally, things just weren't that simple, and the Catholic gunman frowned as an attractive redhead emerged from a separate room in the apartment. Much to his unease, she wore only a black brassiere and a pair of tight shorts, and seemed quite pleased to see him awake, rather than being afraid he would attack her.  
"Oh, perfect! I was hoping you'd wake up soon!" Junko smiled brightly as the man twitched. He seemed to be fairly confused, which she could certainly understand. 'I just hope he's on our side like Asuka said.' "Would you like something to drink?"  
Rayden shook his head, forcing his face into its normal expressionless mask as he averted his gaze from her. "No, thank you. I would, however, wish to know who you are, and how I came to be here."  
"Great! You're all ready to talk!" Junko slipped past the couch the Russian was laying on, and then, much to his confusion, sat down in the chair facing the sofa.  
"All right!" the redhead began, steepling her fingers in front of her, and managing to create a relatively professional appearance despite being severely underdressed. "I'll tell you all you want to know about me later. First, let's talk about you, Mr. Shikodan..."

Terrorist facilities shattered: 1  
Mutant eggs destroyed: 5,712  
Mutants destroyed during testing: 7  
Aliens killed: 1  
MiB Agents crippled: 2  
U.F.O.s scrapped: 1  
Unfrozen killer dinosaurs now extinct: 1

End Chapter 19 


	20. A New Threat or Not

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Disclaimer missing, feared dead. If found, call someone who cares.

Guardian  
Chapter 20  
A New Threat... Or Not

Crack! Boom!  
Ominous lightning flashed in the background as rain poured down in thick sheets upon the antiquated western-style castle that topped the surrounding desolate landscape. Jagged stone spires stretched toward the dark clouds above, and the wind made a vicious howling noise as it combed through the castle's courtyard, whipping through rusted spike fences and blackened, bare-limbed trees.  
Ch-gunk! The sound of a large lever being dropped could barely be heard through the eerie maelstrom outside, and another peal of thunder crashed as the topmost spire of the castle suddenly split open, revealing a huge metal pole swathed in wires and circuits, and topped with a silvery sphere that crackled with experimental energies.  
The tower slowly extended skyward as the castle's old, barely-maintained clockwork gears ground together, forced into action after years of disuse by engines and generators far more advanced.  
Ch-chung! At last, the tower reached the height of its track, and arcs of electricity started to appear all along the length of the rod, though dwarfed as they were by the thunderous bolts that still pounded the sky around the compound.

"Dr. Deth, the transmitter tower is in position and ready to be powered up on your signal!" A bosomy woman with long, blonde hair called from a circular workstation covered in switches, gauges, and display panels.  
Vrrrrrm... From the center of the workstation, a cylindrical platform slowly lowered itself toward the floor. Atop the platform, seated in a plush leather chair, was a wiry old man with a thin ring of gray hair wearing a sharp white lab coat with shiny black gloves, boots, and shoulder pads.  
The man stood up and grinned, taking a moment to adjust his wire-rim glasses. "Excellent Maria, excellent! Synthia! Are all systems ready?"  
On the other side of the control pit beneath the column, an identical woman was bent over several display meters. "Hmmm... yes Doctor! Everything is go!"  
The mad scientist chuckled. "Most unfortunate that with my total staff of you two here to help me with the final stages of the project, that the castle security systems have to be left unattended to, but no matter! The last stages are at hand! The radiotronic manipulation tower is complete!"  
He gripped one hand into a fist, and held it high above his head. "Nikolai Tesla! Had you only lived long enough to see your bizarre dreams take form! Energy flowing in endless circuit! Electricity transferred into radio waves! It's a madness forged of steel and plastic! Mwa hah hah hah hah!"  
Dr. Deth then leaned over the edge of his pedestal, gripping the railing as he grinned at the generator for his tower. "And now, using notes I obtained through a separate and largely irrelevant convoluted back-story, at last I have the means to bend the entire world to my will! I alone will control the output and transmission of all electricity in Japan! And once I have this nation's formidable industry on its knees, it will be a simple matter to construct a device to control all the world's energy transmissions! Then ALL will be forced to recognize my genius! I, who was cast aside as a lunatic and forced into the surprisingly charitable Japanese mad scientists' guild, will at last RULE THE WORLD!"  
From the control pit, Synthia and Maria clapped excitedly. "Wow! Way to go, Doctor!" "This is so exciting!"  
"With just the press of a button starts the beginning of the end!" The mad doctor cackled as he sat back in his chair, uncovering one armrest to reveal a large, red button.  
Then he stopped, and frowned slightly, looking back and forth across his main laboratory.  
"Doctor? Is something wrong?" Maria asked, cocking her head to the side slightly.  
"Erumph! No! No, of course not!" Deth said suddenly, pressing the button on his armchair. "Now! Let the countdown begin!"  
Loud klaxons and red lights flashed in the laboratory interior, and electricity raced along thick cables the hung from the ceiling in bundles.  
"RMT beginning startup charge!" Synthia called out, manipulating a few switches. "Ten seconds until RMT is fully functional! Nine seconds!"  
Dr. Deth grinned as the countdown began, steepling his fingers.  
"Eight seconds!"  
Leaning back in his chair, the mad doctor began to rock back and forth, making sure he looked especially relaxed and reassured.  
"Seven seconds! Six seconds!"  
Deth unsteepled his fingers, and started to drum them along the exposed metal portion of his armrest control panel.  
"Five seconds! Four seconds!"  
The doctor frowned, and leaned forward, scratching his head.  
"Three seconds! Two seconds!"  
Looking around the laboratory, and paying extra attention to the vulnerable or hard-to-see spots, Dr. Deth grit his teeth.  
"One second! Annnnnd..."  
"Stop the countdown!"  
Breep! The machines ground to a halt as Deth slammed his hand down on the sequencer cancellation button, and his assistants looked up to the Doctor in surprise.  
"Dr. Deth, what's the matter!" Maria cried, searching wildly for any disturbance.  
"I... uhm..." the madman twitched as he looked about the room suspiciously. "I'm just... you know... taking a moment. To savor it. The moment, that is."  
"..."  
"..."  
"..."  
"So, um... how much of a moment are you going to need?" Synthia asked, sweatdropping. "Because my coffee break is in ten minutes, and I was hoping we could get your campaign for world domination off the ground before then."  
"Quiet!" Dr. Deth yelled, startling the two beauties. "Did you hear something just now?"  
Maria blinked. "No Doctor. Nothing."  
"Just the generator and the wind."  
Deth looked back and forth across the laboratory. "Neither of you heard anything like a body crawling through an air duct, or a mini-laser slicing through a dungeon grate?"  
"Nope." "Nuh-uh."  
Frowning deeply, Dr. Deth pointed to Synthia. "My dear, check the security systems. Have their been any disturbances that we can write off as local animals? Or cameras that have suddenly become inactive, doubtless due to maintenance problems at a mind-bogglingly convenient time?"  
"Hmmmm... no, nothing. All systems check out perfectly."  
"Well, damn it!" The mad scientist shouted, again startling his assistants. "Why hasn't anyone shown up to try and foil me! Doesn't anybody CARE!"  
Maria and Synthia sweatdropped, having no idea what to say to that.  
Fuming, Dr. Deth whipped out a cell phone, then hit a number on his speed dial. "Stupid no-good British agencies... never on time... damn European sons of-Hello? Yes! This is Dr. Deth! ... No, I'm not here to make new demands, my old ones still stand... I don't care. Look, can you put me through to her Majesty's Secret Service? Yes, I'll hold."

"I had no idea the Doctor valued competition so much," Maria said worriedly.  
Synthia shrugged, stretching as she checked her watch. "I have to admit, it did seem kind of odd to get through a project without any government incursions or spycraft. Anyway, it looks like he'll be awhile, so I'm gonna go grab my coffee."  
"Hurry back!"

"Hello? Good! Now put me through to Agent 007! You heard me! ... Well, it WON'T blow his cover, because if he was doing his JOB, I wouldn't need to call, you fool! Now put me through to his cellular!" Drumming his fingers impatiently on his armrest, Dr. Deth awaited his call's connection.  
Bond here. What's the matter?  
"Ah! James Bond! Good to hear your voice!" Deth said in a strangely pleasant tone. "I was afraid you'd been killed by some bumbling assassin or minor hitman skirmish! Tell me, where are you now?"  
In the Bahamas, actually. Look, I'm very busy, so if this could wait-  
"The Bahamas! Oh, my! That sounds wonderful!" Deth said happily. "I can't remember the last time I've gotten time to go on vacation, what with my projects to create all manner of doomsday devices and take over the world and such. In fact, I was just completing my latest project just a few moments ago? Did you get a... I don't know... a memo, or anything?"  
Well that's... that's a funny story, actually. You see, I-Ooh, oh, no! Not right now! Just hold on!-I was actually on my way to your stronghold two days ago. You know, to stop you and secure the future of the free world.  
"My! Your pilot must have been very confused!" Deth said sarcastically, his voice starting to lose the forced humor.  
Yes, well, I didn't actually make it onto the plane, as such. You see-Yes, okay! That's perfect! Just like that!-Where was I? Oh, yes, they actually stopped me at security. Things have been a bit tense in the airline industry since that American disaster, you know. Anyway, one of the stewardesses ended up strip searching me, and, well, one thing led to another.  
Dr. Deth sweatdropped. "I see. I take this to mean that you won't be arriving in any kind of timely manner to stop my evil plot, then?"  
Not this time, no. But I-OH! Oh yes!-Look, I really have to call you back! Now is NOT a good time!  
The mad doctor sighed. "Don't bother. Enjoy your vacation."  
Thank you! Tell Maria I said hello! Click!

Maria watched as Dr. Deth closed his cell phone sullenly. "So this means that Mr. Bond isn't coming? Awww..."  
"Yes, we're all disappointed," Deth murmured, fuming silently as he fell back into his chair.  
His plucky lab assistant perked up. "But on the other hand, now you can complete your plans for world domination unhindered!"  
"Bah! What's the point?" Deth mumbled dismissively.  
Maria blinked. "Control of the entire planet and the satisfaction and glory of absolute power?"  
"There's no satisfaction in ruling the world; taking it over is the fun part! Without the challenge of competent, dangerous, or at least amusingly impotent opposition, fulfilling a lifelong dream is as simple as building a ridiculously powerful doomsday device. That's no way to conquer the planet!"  
Maria sighed and scratched her head. "Well, then what are we going to do? It's not like we can just phone in and order opposition! Not for free, anyway. And we already blew the project budget on the RM tower and your killer robot spiders."  
Deth chuckled as he got an idea, and flipped open his cell phone again. "Maria, my dear, in any civilized nation, there's ALWAYS an organization willing to waste their time and energy to give you a hard time free of charge. It's called the government." Then he started dialing. "And I know just the branch to call, too... not the most competent bunch, but they don't get much more dangerous..."

"Well, I'm going off to work now!" Junko called as she walked briskly toward the door, hastily applying some lipstick with the aid of a compact mirror. "The Captain called and left a message about mentally analyzing the officer that you said beat you up, so I probably won't have enough time to drop by later and check on you."  
Sitting on her couch, and looking stiff a statue, Rayden responded without looking back at the redhead. "I have no intention of staying."  
Junko blinked, and halted on her way to the door. "Oh, no, that's okay! You can stick around for a while! It must be rough living by yourself with no income besides what you loot from the corpses of criminals!"  
Rayden twitched. "I really do not wish to stay," he said bluntly, not bothering to feign Japanese politeness. Emerging from unconsciousness and then being made to tell his life story to a half-dressed therapist had been most uncomfortable, made all the more so by the therapist's constant playful flirting. He would have left long ago, but Junko had hidden his coat and weapons and he wanted to wait until she was gone before he searched for them.  
"Aw, why do you wanna leave?" Junko asked, pouting. "It'll be lonely without a man in the house to keep me company! Can't you stay a little while?"  
Rayden finally turned to face her, his eyes cold and emotionless. "You do not strike me as the sort of woman who is wanting for... companionship."  
"C'mon, don't be like that!" Junko said teasingly, walking over the super-soldier and patting his head affectionately. "You KNOW you'll always be my favorite, don't you?"  
A vein popped up on Rayden's head. "What are you talking about?"  
"Pleeeease don't leave, okay?" Junko said, little tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as her lower lip trembled. "If you're good, when I get home I'll give you a **treat**..." The hand still resting on Rayden's head slid down his face and began to draw circles on his chest.  
Rayden twitched again and batted her hand away. "There is no force on this Earth that can keep me here once you are gone. There is much I have to do, and I have no time to waste on your games."  
Junko dropped the crying act and thought about that. "I hid your guns really well."  
"... There will be a reckoning for this, I assure you." Rayden's expression, true to form, did nothing to express the level of rage and frustration he was experiencing at that moment.  
"Okay! Laters!"

Asuka sighed as Junko finally emerged from the next room. The redhead had a serious, concerned expression on her face, and was holding a clipboard while shaking her head slightly.  
"Well?" The Captain asked neutrally. "Is he stable, or what?"  
Junko looked downcast. "I... I'm sorry Captain... but it's official. Kyle simply isn't mentally fit for police duty, never mind to be in a position of responsibility."  
Asuka's left eye twitched. "I KNOW that, you moron! Your initial psyche report said the same thing! But has he gone crazy?"  
Junko blinked. "Oh. Well, in that case, no, he's not. Though he does claim to hear a voice in his head, I have enough experience with schizophrenia and have studied Kyle's condition closely enough to say that it doesn't quite fit the bill."  
The blue-haired woman frowned. "What else could it be, then?"  
Junko bit her lip pensively. "I'm not sure... really, it smacks of advanced hypnosis techniques. Of course, we have no idea what, precisely, has been done to him, or the extent of the changes."  
From his position where he was resting on the couch near the back of the main lobby, Seras sat up slowly. "Yeah... physhically though, he'sh in more than top ssshape. I tell ya, the thingsh I sheen..."  
Junko blinked again. "What have you seen?"  
"We don't know," Asuka deadpanned, "he drunk himself comatose before I could ask him about the results of his tests, and we're still waiting for him to sober up enough to describe what he found."

To the side of the two women, and out of sight of the inebriated doctor, a window opened quietly, and the barrel of a sniper rifle slowly poked through the closed blinds.  
Kyle licked his lips as he angled the rifle toward the mass of blue hair that he could barely make out through the tiny slits between the blinds. Frowning at his inability to get a good look at his target, the inept superhuman reached one hand through the blinds and groped blindly for the plastic rod that would open them, and give him a clear line of sight.  
As a rule, when one is groping blindly for ANYTHING, bad things tend to happen.  
Zzzshhnk! Accidentally grabbing the cord to raise the blinds and tugging hard on it, Kyle let out a startled yelp as his rifle was suddenly yanked upward. TOOM!

Thap! Asuka didn't even turn as a bullet pierced the ceiling, raining down bits of paint and plaster.  
"SNAKE, KNOCK IT OFF!" She shouted immediately.  
"THAT WASN'T ME!" Was the reply from the second floor. BWA-KOOOM!  
Junko and Asuka winced as the entire building shook and groaned from a sudden detonation on the floor above them, and they both turned to look out the nearby window (as its blinds had been raised at some point) as a rain of glass and flaming office furniture pounded that side of the Headquarters lot.  
"... Uh... YEAH, **THAT** WAS ME!"  
The police captain sighed. "C'mon. We can worry about Kyle after Tuko sobers up and tells us what they did to him. In the meantime, we have plenty of other idiots to keep us busy."  
Nodding in agreement, the two women headed for the stairway to assess the latest disaster area.

Outside, Kyle grimaced as he pushed the burning desk off of him, and then started to dust the ash off himself and put out the flames that caught on his shirt.  
"This isn't working... She's just too clever for me!" Kyle lamented, sighing and letting himself fall down onto his rear.  
"GYAH! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" Then he yelped and started jumping around the parking lot after having his rear cheeks jabbed by a carpet of shards of hot glass. Genetically enhanced or no, his butt was still a relatively soft and sensitive region.  
After finishing his short dance, the negligible damage had regenerated and chemicals in his brain that hadn't existed until recently had banished all but the memory of pain from his mind. With that minor crisis dispensed with, he was free to go back to his previous line of thought.  
"The Captain is just way too smart! I'll never catch her off-guard!" Kyle moaned, crossing his arms over his chest. "And she's so casual about it, too! Every time I try to kill her, she just tells me to stop like I'm some kid misbehaving!"  
Kyle looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, obviously if I can't outsmart her, I'll have to overpower her! That's the only option!"  
Clenching one hand into a fist and raising it above his head, Kyle grinned maliciously. "I'll walk right up to her and destroy her up-front and personal! No more sneaky stuff, no more backstabbing, and no more hesitation! Nothing will keep me from crushing her!"  
Tycho blinked as he rounded the corner, spying Kyle in some sort of victory pose. "Hey Kyle! Wanna go get a sno-cone?"  
"Okay!" The blonde lieutenant turned around and dashed off immediately, his murderous task forgotten.

Alexandra frowned as Yoshi's image on the computer monitor shrugged at her.  
I don't know what to tell you, Alex. The project is on schedule, but it's simply not ready for widespread use yet.  
"I want you to tell my why it isn't ready!" The voluptuous terrorist growled. "Last I saw, you had a functioning combat-ready prototype at your disposal!"  
On the screen, Yoshi adjusted his glasses as he shook his head, a pose that Alex absolutely despised. A functioning prototype? He's still undergoing the final phases of testing, and by all indications, he will prove to be quite NON-functional, which would necessitate a whole other phase to bring the genetic enhancement levels down to an acceptable range. As it is now, we couldn't possibly put our men through the side effects of the mutation.  
Alex twitched. "Since when do you care about the lives of our men?"  
Who says I do? Yoshi said indignantly, I care about the outcome of our missions and the results of my work! And let me tell you, the prototype isn't fit to complete a briefing, never mind a mission. The final phases of testing are merely to confirm whether heavy psychological conditioning and manipulation can compensate for the effects.  
Alex let herself fall back into her chair, and crossed her arms under her breasts. "Hmph. So what is this 'testing' that apparently doesn't require your supervision?"  
The diminutive scientist looked distracted by something off to the side as he answered her question. Oh, I sent him to kill the leader of the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. You know, two birds with one stone and all that.  
"..." Alexandra remained silent for several moments, then cleared her throat softly. "And... did he succeed?"  
Doesn't look like it. On the other hand, he hasn't been locked up yet either. My informant caught a glimpse of him having a sno-cone with one of the other officers.  
"YOU IDIOT!" Alex screamed, jumping up. "You just put our new weapon back in the hands of the enemy!"  
Yoshi blinked. So? He's been reduced to a semi-coherent, childish vegetable that heeds treasonous commands from the back of his mind. He's barely worth anything to us, and he's merely a bumbling assassin to the enemy, albeit an incredibly tough and powerful one. I don't believe he'll be any threat to you in the future.  
"And what if they dissect him and figure out the secrets of our manipulations?" Alex asked angrily.  
Horribly unlikely. Especially while they're too stupid to realize he's a threat and allow him to live.  
Alexandra scowled. "Never overestimate the moral capacity of the DAPC!"  
Yes, yes, I'll do that. I mean, not do that. Whatever, Yoshi mumbled off-handedly. In the meantime though, I have to get back to work.  
"Wait! Yoshi! Don't go yet! We have to-" she stopped talking as the screen went blank, and then slammed a fist onto her armrest in frustration. "Damn that man! Damn him to hell!"  
Breathing heavily from the adrenaline that was just begging her to choke the subject of her ire, she turned around and glared at Igov, who was attending the meeting, though he had wisely done so out of arm's reach of his commander.  
"Yutchzky, what do you think of all this? If the DAPC has a superhuman under it's command... well, **another** superhuman..." she amended. He probably hadn't undergone any genetic enhancement, but Ranma certainly ranked among those who could withstand a burst of gunfire and tear apart a boomer bare-handed. "... Then should we not move to enhance our own men as quickly as possible, even with the chance of side-effects?"  
"..."  
Alex frowned as the Russian general failed to answer. "Yutchzky! Are you listening? Igov?"  
Frowning and getting up from her chair, Alex peered closely at Igov's blank expression. Then she reached down and moved one of his hands slightly.  
"Hm? What? What happened?" Igov mumbled slowly, suddenly conscious again. Then he looked back and forth, until finally seeing that the display where Yoshi had been talking on was dark. "Did briefing end?"  
Alexandra sweatdropped. "Yes, it did. I think you were on 'power save' mode again."  
The cyborg frowned. "New 'upgrades' are quite inconvenient. At very least, Igov did not crash again."  
Alex stood up straight and frowned. "Have you tried running in 'safe' mode?"  
Igov nodded. "Yes. But then weapon arms locked and disabled. Is uncomfortable feeling."  
The brunette sighed wearily. "Well, just don't forget your password again like yesterday. I NEVER want to deal with that again. We'll figure out something. In the meantime, I have work to do."

"Totally your fault," a completely charred Ranma said stubbornly, pointing at a much less severely charred Snake.  
"And how do you figure that!" The weapons expert growled. "You distracted me! And I think it was on purpose!"  
"Gimme a break!" Ranma shouted back angrily. "How come when I jump up and cling to the ceiling because of a sudden gunshot during a bomb disarming, it's called distracting you, but when you sneak up behind me and clap your hands when **I'm** disarming a bomb, it's called 'simulating real-world field conditions'!"  
"You were just using that as an excuse!" Snake said defensively, "You would have set your bombs off whether or not I did anything!"  
"How do you know!"  
"Because I've never taught you how to disarm a bomb before making you to do a live trial, that's why! You're not trained to do it!"  
Ranma crossed his arms over his chest. "And that's why I wanted to sit in on one of your test runs!"

Asuka massaged her head desperately as her subordinates continued to argue angrily. "Why? Why me?"  
Junko frowned. "Wait... I'm confused. If Snake was the one tinkering with the bomb, how come Ranma looks like he took the brunt of the blast?"  
"Well, where did you THINK I was gonna throw the bomb when I realized I screwed up?" Snake said matter-of-factly.  
Ranma frowned. "I was hoping you'd throw it out the window."  
"You were closer."  
Asuka suddenly slid forward and glared at Snake, who swallowed nervously and stood at attention. "Lieutenant, you have to stop almost killing Saotome. It's gone way too far."  
"Please," Snake scoffed, "'gone too far'? He hasn't even lost any limbs or minor organs yet!"  
Ranma's face darkened. "Yeah... I was kinda hoping to avoid any chance of that if possible."  
"Life isn't any fun if you don't learn to gamble with it!"  
Asuka clenched her teeth. "Snake, how many times do you think Saotome can suffer point-blank explosions from small incendiary devices before suffering life-altering or life-ending consequences?"  
The DA weapons expert scratched his chin for a moment. "Well, there's only one way to find out!"  
"My POINT," the police Captain said as she grabbed Snake by the collar and hauled the larger man down to her height, "is that you seem to be taking Saotome's unreasonably and inexplicably resilient body for granted."  
"And a body like THIS," Junko added, squeezing Ranma's rear for emphasis and causing the man to yelp in surprise, "is not to be taken for granted!"  
"Thank you Chikiko, but I don't need your help with this," the blue-haired woman deadpanned. Then she refocused her glare on the officer in her iron grasp. "I'm serious Snake; if Ranma gets killed because of you, well... I think we can all say we saw it coming, but still, I will spare NO effort to see that you're locked up forever!"  
"Oh, come on!" Snake complained. "You really think **I'm** going to kill him? The guy's bullet and explosive-proof!"  
"I'm not QUITE bullet or explosive-proof," Ranma corrected bitterly. "That hurt like hell."  
Snake shrugged. "Well, yeah. It wouldn't be funny otherwise."  
Wham! The weapons expert yelped as Asuka suddenly hooked her arm around his neck and twisted around, slamming him hard onto the soot-covered floor.  
The police captain stood up and dusted her hands off, giving Snake a half-lidded stare. "That looks like it hurt. Did you find it funny?"  
"Hilarious," Ranma said happily.  
"Very," Junko said, fighting a giggle.  
"I have to admit, given the timing of your attack, the irony is undeniable," Snake said from where he was still flattened against the burnt carpet. "I'd say it's pretty funny."  
Asuka hung her head and began to leave, too demoralized to even shout or reprimand her subordinates. "Hurry up and get this place cleaned up, okay? I have... things to do."

Junko frowned as she watched her captain trudge down the stairs, then turned that same frown full-force on the two men in front of her. "Now look what you've done! You've upset the Captain!"  
Ranma blinked. "Me? What'd I do!"  
"You were laughing when she was trying to make a point!"  
"So were you!"  
"That's not important!" The redhead insisted, wagging a finger at the pair, "You two have to learn to get along better!"  
Snake blinked. "Get along better? We get along fine."  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. I never hold this stuff against him. I know he's crazy. It'd be like staying angry at Kyle because he did something dumb; it's not really fair."  
Junko scratched her head. "Well, all these explosions are putting the Captain on edge! You know she just got back from her trip only to find out that Kyle was lobotomized!"  
"Lobotomized. Right. Like removing the center of a doughnut," Snake mumbled, getting up and dusting himself off.  
"Well, I think you should make an effort to take it easy on her!" Junko lectured. "Especially you, Ranma. You remember what it was like **without** her, right?"  
The pigtailed man grimaced. "I've tried to forget, but yeah. I seem to remember everyone else taking up the slack in almost killing me while Snake was gone. That sucked."  
"Err... right. It sucked. Which is why we should be extra careful to show her our appreciation for a while!"  
Snake nodded slowly. "Okay... sounds good! What do you suggest?"  
"Well, for YOU, I suggest carrying out your bomb disarming trials and test firings in the parking lot," Junko said as she looked thoughtful.  
Snake blinked. "But... it's dangerous to do that sort of thing without the proper facility! I could be killed!"  
"I find it hard to believe the bombs are much more dangerous outside than in here," Ranma said skeptically.  
"Bombs, shmoms. Have you seen the kinds of things Tycho does in the parking lot when he gets bored? I mean, you know those ruts in the asphalt next to the streaks of melted rubber on the corners? Those are from TREADS."  
Ranma and Snake shuddered simultaneously while Junko continued.  
"Saotome, I think it would be best if you seduced the Captain and began a steamy office romance behind closed doors. You know, just to keep things interesting," Junko smiled brightly at him, and Ranma stared back at her.  
"... Uh, can I trade jobs with Snake? His sounds way less dangerous." Sweat had started to bead on Ranma's forehead, and his nervous smile was in danger of cracking.  
"Oh, don't listen to her," Snake said dismissively. "We should just throw her a pizza party or something."  
Junko raised an eyebrow as she considered it. "Hmmm... given her training regimen and diet, do you think she eats pizza?"  
"Hey, if she doesn't, more for us!" Ranma said happily. "Let's do it!"  
Junko slapped her forehead. 'It's a good thing I love men so much, or there's no way I could deal with these guys. I can't imagine what the Captain's medicine cabinet looks like.' "Okay, let's run through this again..."

Br-r-r-ring! Br-r-r-ring!  
Asuka winced at the sudden noise of her office phone blaring at her, and she grit her teeth as she mentally went over the list of recent acts of destruction she might have to explain away to the higher-ups.  
Not coming up with anything off the bat, the police captain finally remembered that she had been gone for several days, and that her force had been left largely unsupervised with the entire city at the mercy of their own negligible sense of ethics and duty.  
'I hate my life,' she thought as she picked up the phone. "DAPC Headquarters, Captain Takami speaking."  
Ah, the Captain! Very good! This is Dr. Deth. Said an older voice on the other end, with a barely perceptible English accent tingeing his Japanese.  
"..." Asuka remained silent for several moments. "Okay Kyle, I warned you what would happen if you tried prank calling my office again. You are in SO much trouble."  
What? No, it's- Click!  
Fuming to herself, Asuka slid in behind her desk and began leafing through her files. "Better make this a whopper of a citation. I swear, that moron never learns! Bad enough he's started taking after Snake and planting explosives all over my things, but this is just-"  
Br-r-r-ing!  
Growling, Asuka snatched up the phone. "Yes! Who is it!"  
It's me again. Dr. Deth. This isn't a prank call. Really.  
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Really? This isn't Kyle? All right buddy, let me pop you a quick history question: Tell me, in what year did the War of 1812 occur in America, huh?" She smirked to herself. No matter how many times she used that question against the blond dope, he had never gotten it right. One would've thought he'd eventually look it up, at least.  
Uh... I'm going to say 1812. She could almost **hear** the sweatdrop on the other end of the line.  
The blue-haired woman sat up seriously. "Okay, this isn't Kyle. So what is this about?"  
I just thought you might like to know about a certain project of mine. You see, I've completed construction of a device called a radiotronic manipulation tower, or RMT for short.  
Asuka nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow. "So... what? Is this one of Snake's buddies giving us a new weapon to test or something?"  
Ha! Hardly! The RMT is a device designed on the principles of Nikolai Tesla's experiments with energy generation and transmission. It allows the remote conversion of electrical energy transmissions into radio waves, which are then absorbed by the RMT for reconversion and redirection at a time and place of my choosing!  
"Uh huh. Right," Asuka mumbled, writing down a few notes on a yellow sticky note. "Turning energy into radio. Got it."  
Needless to say, with the only existing RMT in **my** possession, once it is activated I will have near-complete control of the energy distribution throughout Japan! An insane giggle followed the declaration, and Asuka raised an eyebrow.  
"Right. And I can only assume that you don't plan on using this power benevolently," she deadpanned.  
You're a sharp one, Captain! I'll use the RMT to take control of all of Japan! And then, once my power in this nation is absolute, I'll build a much larger series of them, and control the ENTIRE WORLD! Mweh heh heh heh heh! WAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  
Wincing, Asuka pulled the receiver away from her ear while she waited for the mad doctor to finish laughing.  
"Are you done?"  
Yes. So, do you have all that?  
"Yeah. RM Tower, control energy transmissions, world domination," Asuka rattled off. "Quick question: Why are you telling us this when we seem to be in a position to stop you?"  
Oh. Uh... just... you know... bragging. That's all. There's no WAY you or your cadre of rag-tag but battle-hardened officers could possibly stop me before I activate this device at 8 PM tonight!  
"Another question: You said you'd already completed the device. Why are you waiting 'til eight o'clock to turn it on?"  
Pssht! Kssht! What was that? I'm sorry, we must have a bad connection, the man on the other end said, obviously having made the static noises himself. Anyway, you couldn't possibly infiltrate my castle stronghold located at 7169 Kaiun Ave, about four hours away from your present location, before my plans were completed, so... you know... don't send a squad down here to interfere or anything. 'Cause it won't do you any good.  
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Because you've completely secured your castle from all outside threats?"  
What? No, no! Obviously no one could possibly interfere with my brilliant and carefully prepared plans, so I dispense with extensive defenses... Uh, hey, you know, now that I'm looking at a roadmap, it seems more like five hours to get here if you don't know about this shortcut through-  
"Thank you Dr. Deth, I think that'll be all," the captain said, rolling her eyes.  
Are you sure? I can give you detailed directions. You see, there's this turn that's a little tricky just past- Click!

"Yeesh. What a pain," the blue-haired woman muttered as she looked over the notes, scrubbing her head with her hand. "Now I've gotta send someone out to take down this loser."  
Then she raised an eyebrow. "Hmmmm... that gives me an idea..."

Dr. Deth frowned as he heard the woman on the other end hang up, and then rubbed his chin in thought as he looked over the road map unfolded haphazardly over his lap. "Do you think I came off as sounding TOO invincible and unstoppable? I don't want to intimidate them..."  
Synthia and Maria sweatdropped below the Doctor's pedestal.  
"You did fine, Doctor."  
"Yeah, I'm sure they'll be down here to foil you soon!"  
Deth nodded slowly. "Yes... but I really didn't know about that longer road... maybe I should activate the device at 9? Then again, they're police officers, so they could probably drive faster than the speed limit..."

Maria turned to her twin, several sweatdrops now adorning her features. "I think the Doctor is trying a little too hard."  
Synthia shrugged. "Well, he doesn't want to mess this up. I guess having the usual guy blow him off kinda shook the Doc."  
"That wasn't very professional of Mr. 007 at all, taking off on vacation like that!" Maria said disapprovingly, crossing her arms over her considerable chest.  
Synthia smirked. "You're just upset because it was your turn to be the dungeon guard and get seduced during the escape attempt."  
Maria blushed, but said nothing and continued fuming.

"Maria! Synthia!" Deth finally said as he started refolding the road map. "I have some last-minute tuning for you to do on the castle's interior deathtraps! If we DO get any... 'unexpected' company," the mad doctor flexed his fingers to mark the appropriate words as he spoke, "I want to ensure that there are plenty of unfathomably complex yet inevitably flawed obstacles for them!"  
"Right away, Doctor!"

Snake blinked and pointed at himself. "You want me to head an infiltration team into a mad scientist's laboratory?"  
"Essentially, yes," Asuka said, smirking. "Though 'team' is a bit of an exaggeration. You'll be taking Saotome with you."  
"Me? And him? Alone?" Ranma said, starting to get nervous. "D-Don't we need someone... you know... saner in charge?"  
"I don't see why you would. Your only task is to obliterate the superweapon, that's all," the police captain explained, still smiling slightly.  
"Not that I'm complaining, but why are you only sending me and Saotome on this mission?" Snake asked suspiciously.  
Asuka's smirk grew slightly. "I was waiting for you to ask that." Then she poked the lieutenant in the chest. "Snake, you and Saotome represent the most lethal combat elements in our department. If we go into battle at full force in the future, and you KNOW we will, it is **absolutely vital** that you two learn to utilize your strengths such that they complement each other, instead of simply getting in each other's way."  
"How do we get in each other's way!" Snake shouted.  
"I think she's talking about how I sometimes jump in close to fight hand-to-hand, and you keep shooting blindly into the melee," Ranma explained.  
Snake considered that for a moment. "Okay, fine. So sometimes Saotome gets in the way. But I still don't think it justifies a whole training mission just for that."  
"ANOTHER reason why I want you to handle this mission, Snake, is that as the commanding officer, **you** will be responsible for Ranma's safety during the course of the mission," Asuka said neutrally, her smile having faded.  
Snake raised an eyebrow. Ranma's eyes bugged out.  
"What did I ever do to you!" The pigtailed man shouted, his face already pale.  
"Relax Saotome," Asuka muttered. "Snake, as the commanding officer, you will be held FULLY accountable for any wounds Ranma suffers over the course of the mission."  
The weapons expert blinked. "Whoa. Waitaminute. What's this 'accountable' nonsense?"  
"After the mission, under the assumption that Saotome makes it back alive, sane, and in good enough health to recount and explain what had happened..."  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Ranma murmured.  
"...I will take a full recounting of your actions during the mission from him," Asuka explained. "For every instance that you deliberately, directly, or indirectly caused harm to your subordinate, or caused harm through negligence of your responsibility, I will suspend you from duty for one month."  
"WHAT!" Snake gasped, twitching.  
"Of course, you DO provide a crucial service in your duties here," Asuka remarked off-handedly. "Your maintenance and organization of the armory and munitions inventory are top-notch..."  
"Yes! Service! Crucial! Armory! Notch!" Snake shouted in a panic.  
"So obviously, while you're suspended, we'd need to give somebody else control of those functions," Asuka pretended to decide then and there.  
"GAH!"  
"And if you're suspended for two or more months, well, it'd be easier to just give someone else a promotion and permanently assign new duties rather than just try to have fill-ins for that long. I could always find something else for you do once you got back, like doing computer records or sweeping the halls."  
Ranma sweatdropped as Snake fell to his knees, grasping his chest desperately as his body was overcome by violent trembling. His face had gone completely white, and his breathing was labored.  
"Sweep... records... no... my... armory... my... precious! No! NO! Yo-You can't do that!"  
Asuka smirked again and leaned over so that she could stare Snake straight in the eyes. "Bottom line Rambo: don't hurt your own guy. It's not complicated."  
Turning around sharply, the bluette wagged a finger at Ranma. "Now you two better get going. The entire world is at stake. I guess."

Ranma sweatdropped again as she left. "Even if she says all that, I don't think it's fair to make me go with him."  
Thud!  
The pigtailed man blinked as Snake finally fell over onto the floor, still clutching his chest.  
"Snake? Snake! Man down! Man down! Sakura! Get Sakura in here!"

"Still, even if he's not allowed to almost kill you like he normally does, it's still gotta be rough being under Snake's command," Tiro allowed as Junko patted Ranma on the back.  
"I don't think it'll be too bad, really," Ranma admitted, "but I still wish the Captain were coming instead."

"Defibrillator charged! Clear!" BZACK!  
"... No change! Increase charge and try again!"  
"What? Yamma, that's not how you check a pulse!"  
"I only deal with dead bodies! Now crank up the juice and give 'im another!"

"Even so, it might be better if you got your affairs in order before you get there," Junko said. "Not that you can't handle yourself, but it's best to be prepared."  
Tiro frowned as a thought occurred to him. "You ever wonder how Snake got promoted to his current rank in the first place?"

"Take two! Clear!" B-Z-Z-ZACK!  
Snake gasped as his heart suddenly started beating again, and consciousness struck him like a sledgehammer. "NO! MY GUNS! YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!"  
"Ow! Hey! Leggo!"  
"Subject is being belligerent! Can you help us-DEAR GOD, HIS HAND'S GOING FOR THE GUN! HOLD HIM DOWN!"  
"You're trying to take it! Take my precious! You can't have it! I'll kill you all!"

Ranma shrugged. "I'm guessing he survived enough missions and destroyed enough vital targets that it would have been dumb not to promote him. I mean, when we all got here there were only three officers who had survived and stayed in the DAPC."  
"And considering that Kyle actually got promoted HIGHER than he did, well, Snake probably would've been pretty upset if he'd gotten nothing at all."  
"Ah. A good point."  
"WHY AREN'T YOU PEOPLE HELPING US!" Yamma shouted desperately, holding Snake in a headlock while Seras and Sakura each tried to keep the man's hands from the pistol on his belt.  
Ranma winced and then rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. Stop whining already."  
Then he walked up to the struggle and snapped his fingers in front of Snake's face.  
"Huh? Wha? Where am I?"  
"Snake. Castle. Superweapon. Boom. Now. Okay?" Ranma said seriously as his commanding officer stood up.  
"Boom. Good. Car. Go." Snake nodded, and then both men turned and calmly headed toward the garage.

Sakura and Junko sweatdropped as they watched the two combat experts leave.  
"You know, I guess they don't make a bad team," Sakura admitted. "Despite how many times Snake has blown him up, they really do get along well."  
"I think that's mostly Ranma's background at work," Junko offered. "He's used to having friends that like to hurt him."  
That statement seemed very, very wrong to the blonde police officer, and she was about to request further information on the topic, when she noticed that Seras Tuko was leaving to follow Snake and Ranma into the garage.  
'Huh? Where's HE going?'

"Listen, you guys... about this mission..."  
Ranma and Snake turned in surprise as they were about to get in the car. "Huh? Seras? What's up, man?"  
The DA's chief medical officer, who, surprisingly, did not have a bottle in his hand at that moment, scowled as he stared at the gray, unmarked cement floor of the garage interior.  
"Deth... he's... well..." Seras' scowl faded. "Try not to take him too seriously, okay?"  
Ranma and Snake blinked in tandem.  
"Don't take him seriously? He's trying to take over the world!" Ranma protested.  
Snake snorted and waved Seras off. "Don't mind the doc. He's just drunk."  
"No! I'm not drunk! Listen to me!" The medical officer shouted.  
Ranma and Snake both raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Uh... well... maybe I'm a LITTLE buzzed... but I'm not drunk! I'm serious, here!" Seras crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes, Deth is trying to take over the world... or says he is... but that's what he does. It's like his job."  
"Not much of a job. If you ever do it right, then you're out of work," Ranma mused.  
"Well, that's sort of the point," Seras admitted. "You see, this is all a game to him. If you keep that in mind, you'll be fine." Then he rubbed the back of his head. "Also... when you do foil him, and he's making his escape... let him go, all right?"  
"Let him escape? As in, pass up the chance to kill somebody? Who do you think you're talking to!" Snake asked, looking just a bit upset.  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay. We can do that."  
"We can not!"  
"Dr. Deth helped us take out the big mecha that attacked when me and Kyle were with Core," Ranma explained. "The least we can do is let him live after we screw up his plans."  
"That's not the **least** we can do! I can do **way** less than that!" Snake insisted.  
"Just do it, all right? Please?" Seras asked, with Ranma nodding his consent.  
Snake frowned, then threw his hands up in disgust. "Bah! Fine. Have it your way, you pansies." Then he pointed at Ranma. "But in return, you have to let me slaughter all his henchmen without interference or whining!"  
"Deth's 'henchmen' consist of a pair of airheaded blonde twins from America. Like, imagine Sakura, but taller," Seras explained.  
Bam! Snake let his forehead slam against the hood of his car. "Worst. Mission. Ever."  
"Oh, I'm sure you'll get to shoot something," Ranma chuckled and slipped into the car. "Let's roll, Lieutenant."  
Seras blinked as Snake got into the driver's seat. "So... don't you guys want to know how I know all this, and what my connection to Deth is?"  
"Not really. I don't care," Snake said honestly as he buckled up.  
The medical officer frowned. "You have to be a BIT curious..."  
"Nope. Not at all," Ranma said.  
"Well, it's probably best that you know anyway," Seras decided.  
"No, seriously, we don't want to hear it."  
The perpetually inebriated man sighed. "You see, it's all rooted in my dark and shameful past when I was a..." he trailed off as Ranma finished rolling up the window to block out the noise, and then had to jump away as Snake accelerated and left.

"..." Seras turned around as she heard someone approaching from behind. "Ah! Captain Takami! You know, I-"  
"Not interested, Tuko," Asuka said immediately. Though curious as to why the man suddenly started sulking, she continued. "I need to know what you found when you examined Kyle. This Deth thing is a nice distraction, but that's what I'm really worried about here."  
"Ooh... yeah... about that..."

Kyle sighed in contentment as he finished his third sno-cone, and crumpled up the moist, worn paper cone before tossing it in a trash receptacle.  
"So, what was it like being experimented on in an evil scientist's lab?" Tycho asked, having only just finished his first iced treat.  
Kyle shrugged. "Eh, it wasn't so bad. Really, the worst part was simply that I wasted like, what, three days in there? Yeah. I could think of a lot of things I would've rather been doing, you know?"  
"What did they do to you in there?"  
The blond man frowned. "Rewrote my genetic code, implanted several bio-mechanical glands, and applied several forced mutations."  
Tycho raised an eyebrow. "Whoa. That's pretty heavy. So now you're, like, some kind of mutant super freak? That must have been a drag to go through, huh?"  
Kyle suddenly looked very solemn. "Well Tycho, to be honest, I felt hungry."  
"... Hungry."  
"Yeah. They didn't feed me much in the lab, and these mutations burn calories like nobody's business."  
"Fair enough," Tycho offered, leaning back against the wall of the library they were standing next to. "You know, just a thought, but it's the Captain's turn to take Hunter on a feeding walk later today."  
This attracted Kyle's interest, and the blond superhuman listened to Tycho's words intently.  
"Now, if I was some sort of brainwashed assassin, which of course I'm not, I might do something to take advantage of that, like maybe put live mice in her purse so that Hunter would attack her, or show up during the walk and just throw a steak on her, or even just hang out at a convenient spot where I could snipe her while she's out away from all the other officers."  
Kyle slowly raised one eyebrow as he thought about this.  
"Of course, as I mentioned, I'm NOT a brainwashed assassin," Tycho went on to say conversationally, "so really, that entire line of thought was both disturbing and annoyingly uncharacteristic of me. So, how about those Giants?"  
The driver turned to address his companion directly, and then blinked as he realized Kyle was no longer in sight.  
"Kyle? Kyle? Lieutenant? Where'd you go?"

Ranma sighed as he tried to come to grips with what he was hearing. "Snake, I'm not saying that ranged combat **isn't** a challenging and effective way to fight. I'm just saying that in the sort of urban, close-combat fighting we deal with so often, hand-to-hand combat is just as important, if not more."  
"Your argument is inherently flawed," Snake refuted, "in that the art of gunnery extends to close-range fighting with the advent of pistols and shotguns, which can be used effectively to complement, and enhance, your performance in melee. Ever pistol-whipped a guy?"  
"No, I've never needed to," Ranma deadpanned, "I can do a lot more damage by kicking them. Guns are a way for people without extensive combat training to fight effectively. They're just a way of making fighting easy."  
"I'll concede that they do that, but that's not 'just' what they do. In the hands of a true master, the gun is as elegant and precise a tool of war as those fancy swords you samurai weirdoes like so much."  
Ranma considered this. "I would agree to that, but then I wouldn't be living up to the martial artist stereotype of despising guns as the tools of cowards and weaklings, so instead I'll say that you're a barbarian nutcase."  
"Thus cashing in on the Japanese stereotype as well," Snake mumbled thoughtfully. "You're pretty good at this debate thing, Saotome."  
"Only against idiots and crazy people," Ranma admitted, "but then, those are the kinds of people I usually run into. Hey, what's that up ahead?"  
Snake blinked as he noticed an old German car that was parked on the side of the road, its hood propped open in the classic "something's wrong and I sure as hell can't figure it out" position. Sitting on top of the car was a beautiful blonde woman wearing cut-off jeans and a white T-shirt that molded to her bust better than any dry garment should have been able to. The woman smiled as the police cruiser approached her vehicle, and waved an arm to get their attention in the unlikely case she didn't already have it.  
As Snake slowed the car on their approach to the woman and her vehicle, he fished a coin from his pocket. "Heads, we call her a tow truck. Tails, we pretend to fix her car and set a bomb instead."  
"Must we go through this EVERY time we deal with a motorist?" Ranma deadpanned, massaging his head.  
"'Every time'? I don't ALWAYS give people a chance to avoid getting blown up, you know," Snake said haughtily.  
Ranma sighed. "Point. Flip your coin."

Synthia smirked as the approaching police cruiser slowly pulled over behind her allegedly wrecked vehicle, and slid off of the car before running a hand through her hair.  
'Hmmm... they're pretty cute. Too bad Maria gets sentry duty. I would have liked 'guarding' them.' "Oh, officers! Thank goodness you passed by!"  
"Uh huh. Passed by. Sure did," Snake said almost mechanically as he walked right past the blonde woman carrying a large disc-shaped object that didn't quite resemble any standard car part that Synthia could recognize. "Just gimme a few moments, and I'll have your car running like a volcano!" He blinked as he considered his words. "I mean... like lava... coming from a volcano..."  
Synthia sweatdropped. "But... you don't know what's wrong with it. How do you know you can fix it? What part is that, anyway?"  
"It's a very special part," Snake murmured absently as he leaned over the hood of the car. "After I install it, you won't ever have to worry about maintaining or repairing this engine ever again."  
"I hope you have good auto insurance," Ranma muttered as he too walked by to the front end of the vehicle. "And good health insurance."  
Suddenly, Synthia grinned and produced a small pistol behind the officers' backs. "I don't think I'm the one who needs to be worried about her health, officers."  
Ranma and Snake both turned away from the car hood to look at her, and at the weapon she had aimed at them.  
"You're kidding, right?" Snake deadpanned.  
"No joke," the blonde said, smirking. "Now boys, we're going for a little walk back to-"  
Thwap! Faster than her eyes could follow, and much faster than she could ever hope to react to, Ranma's hand lashed out and slapped her handgun out of her grasp, sending it flying over the top of her car and into the brush that covered the edge of the road.  
Snake then slowly withdrew his own gun and aimed it at the now-sweating woman.  
"Uh... h-hey... now, wait, hold on, stop, slow down, red light, yield!" Her voice took on a slightly hysterical edge as Snake smirked at her, and Ranma simply leaned back onto her car with an unreadable expression on his face. "Let's not be hasty, here! We can talk this out! Haste is uncalled for!"  
Snake made a show of switching off the safety, and then pulled back the slide.  
"Haste! You're being hasty! Less haste, please!" Synthia shouted, sweat beading all over her pale, trembling face.  
"Would you put your hands up, already?" Ranma said irritably, causing the blonde vixen to jump in surprise as she reached for the sky.  
Snake then walked up to her and tapped her on the forhead with the muzzle of his sidearm, causing her to wince. "Okay blondie, I assume that you're what passes for a henchman in Dr. Deth's lab?"  
"Erm... we prefer 'henchperson'," Synthia said timidly.  
"How about 'goon'?" Ranma said, still staring neutrally at her.  
"Ha ha ha!" The blonde woman forced a laugh, then nodded. "Goon works. And yes, I am."  
"Good." Snake grinned at her. "Get marching, sweetie. You're taking us to him. Shortest distance. But I warn you, any funny business, and... uh..." his smile faded as he trailed off.  
"And... what?" She asked nervously.  
Ranma shrugged. "We'll probably just ignore you and then casually disarm you again. Anyway, can we get on with this? We ARE on a deadline."

Asuka paced the length of the room as Seras and Junko sat in the middle wordlessly.  
"This is bad. This is very... well... quite possibly very bad," the Captain murmured.  
Seras sighed. "I'm sorry Captain, but until we find out more about what happened to Kyle Tekai, there's no telling what could happen. I have to recommend a full quarantine."  
"That's unusually professional of you," Junko said, raising an eyebrow.  
The medical officer frowned. "Yeah, well, I haven't had a shot to drink in almost an hour. I'm pretty close to thinking coherently right now."  
"But there's no way to determine the negative aspects of the mutations?" Asuka asked, her face a cold mask of steel will.  
"None. For all we know, they could have just boosted his strength and resilience. Or they could have engineered him into a carrier for a mutagen agent. Given the general intent of the Freedom's Angels' agenda, we have to assume he was released into our ranks with malevolent intentions in mind."  
"Of course, it's worth noting that given the history of the Freedom's Angels, it's entirely possible his release was just an act of incompetence on their part," Junko said, feeling the need to defend her superior.  
"You're SURE there were unknown substances in his brain?" The blue-haired woman asked, her eyes locked on Seras'.  
The failed doctor snorted. "There were unknown substances all over his body. But yes, his brain seemed to be contaminated with a chemical compound different from those that had been injected throughout the rest of him. However, all these compounds are completely unique to me; I've never seen anything like them."  
"Of course, the FAs have Wraith at their beck and call, and that's their specialty," Asuka murmured. "While your specialty is, what, medical science?"  
"Officially. Really, I'm far more skilled in electric engineering, robotics, and brewing," Seras admitted.  
Junko frowned. "The chemicals in his brain could account for the hypnosis-like effects I encountered during my examination of him."  
"What I want to know is, can we get rid of them?" Asuka asked the two specialists.  
Seras frowned and rubbed his chin. "Brain surgery, huh? Well... I could give it a shot. Just crack open his skull and give it a rinse, right?"  
"Whatever. I can't imagine he has much to damage," Asuka said flippantly, before she turned around. "Give me a solution by tomorrow that doesn't involve locking Kyle up. Dismissed."

Seras sweatdropped as Asuka walked out of the room, and thus out of earshot. "Doesn't have much to damage? That was a bit cold, don't you think?"  
Junko smiled softly. "Hmm. Yes, but that's just how the Captain is. She has to act dark and cynical to avoid showing weakness, but behind all that, she really cares about what happens to the Lieutenant."  
Seras considered this. "Well, she did say she wanted a solution that wouldn't involve locking him up. I guess she does care." With that affirmation, the medical officer stood up and stretched. "Whelp, I'm going to go have a brainstorming session with my good friend Jack Daniels. See ya."  
Junko sweatdropped, and was about to make a scathing remark about his drinking during such a critical time, when Asuka suddenly poked her head back into the room.  
"Oh, and Tuko? No more alcohol for you."  
The medical officer blinked. "No what now?"  
"No alcohol. Not until this fiasco is done with," Asuka said seriously.  
Seras blinked again. "So, you mean, like, no beer?"  
"No ALCOHOL," the bluette said firmly. "No beer, no wine, no brandy, no vodka, no tequila, no NOTHING. You are going to stay fully and completely sober until it's all done."  
"What is this word 'sober', and why does it fill me with fear and loathing?" the medical officer said, not yet having fully grasped what he was being told.  
Asuka growled and stalked over to the college drop-out, hands planted on her hips in a manner that looked surprisingly intimidating (though Tiro often remarked that it was also rather sexy). "I want you 'thinking coherently' for the entire time you're going to be poking sharp steel instruments into the nanoscopic blob that passes for Tekai's brain. So no alcohol until he's back to semi-normal. Is this getting through to you?"  
Seras stared at her for a moment, then snorted. "Uh huh. Right. Okay. I'll give it a shot." His tone indicated that his "shot" would be hasty and sloppily given.  
"You won't 'give it a shot', you're going to follow through," Asuka insisted. "Because I'm putting Tiro and Junko on a rotation watch over you until tomorrow. If you even TRY to drink, they will be ordered to shoot..."  
"Fair enough," Seras said.  
"... the bottle you're trying to drink from," the captain finished.  
"I would like to withdraw my previous statement; this is totally unfair," the medical officer groused.  
"This is how it is," the blue-haired woman said, her eyes narrowing. "Kyle's the most incompetent and braindead person I've ever had to command; I can't lose him to mind-altering drugs, of all things." She turned around and started to head out again. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm taking Hunter for a walk. Chikiko, you have first watch over our budding neurosurgeon."

Once again, the police captain left, and Seras twitched as the realization of his situation slowly dawned on him, bit by bit.  
He turned toward Junko. "So, can I-"  
"No," the redhead answered immediately, crossing her arms under her breasts. "I care about Kyle too. You're not even getting access to cough syrup until he's cured!"  
"Uh oh... this is going to be a long night..."

Crack! Ba-boom!  
"Here we are. That's the castle over there," Synthia said miserably, taking the lead for the two police officers as she pointed to the black spires of Dr. Deth's castle fortress. In the midst of the dark towers the RMT still stood tall, its titanium-forged body gleaming amidst the dirty and poorly maintained stronghold.  
Ranma winced and raised his arm to shield his face. "What's with all this wind and thunder? It was sunny like ten minutes ago back near the road." Carrying a large backpack, Ranma had transported most of the gear Snake had wanted to bring on the hike from his car. Naturally, the load consisted of demolitions, ammo, weapons, and a good quantity of beer.  
Snake shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It's time for us to take action. Here's the plan:" Snake walked behind Ranma and began to rummage through the pack. "Ranma, you're going to take this experimental plasma-thermite bomb, infiltrate through the front of the castle, and-"  
"Before you go any further," Ranma interrupted, "I want to remind you that the Captain said you couldn't hurt me during this mission."  
Snake blinked. "Oh. Right. Okay... well, there goes plans A through W. Well, in that case, we could..." He stopped speaking, and frowned. "I forget. Did that 'no hurting you' thing extend to indirect action and negligence?"  
"Yes," Ranma said, withdrawing a piece of paper from his pocket. "I made sure to get the whole thing in writing." He may have been one of the strongest people in the world, and have unshakable faith in his abilities, but he was as afraid of dealing with explosives he didn't know how to use as much as the next sane person.  
Snake frowned more deeply. "Okay, hold here. I have to think of a new plan."  
Synthia sweatdropped, and leaned toward Ranma to whisper in his ear. "Is he always like this?"  
Ranma shrugged. "Not really. Usually he'd want to do all the bomb work himself, but we're kind of pressed for time."  
"Got it!" Snake snapped his fingers as he took Ranma's backpack off and dropped it on the ground so he could go through it more easily. "Plan lower-case-t-beta! Just follow my lead!" He snapped a shotgun onto his back, and then took up a pulse rifle. "Blondie, you can get us into the castle, right?"  
"Uh... hey, Lieutenant, why do we even need to get into the castle?" Ranma asked. "Our objective is to destroy that tower, right? You brought a rocket launcher. We can blow it up from here."  
"Nah. We'll infiltrate the castle," Snake said dismissively.  
"But why? It's a waste of time! If you don't want to shoot at it, I can launch blasts of pure will from my hands and rip it apart with the strength of my ego. We won't even need to waste a rocket!"  
Snake turned on him, looking stern. "And then what, huh?"  
Ranma blinked. "And then the world is safe once again, we return home as heroes, and we can get back to focusing on what happened to Kyle when he was kidnapped."  
"With a kill count of zero!" Snake shouted. "Nuh-uh! Not on my watch, Saotome! I'm slightly opposed to shooting largely helpless women, and you already agreed for us that we can't kill the jerk behind this! That means I'm not leaving this hole until the enemy structure has been reduced to a pile of burning rocks! We are entering that castle, we are arming it to blow, and we are going to LEVEL IT. Is that clear!"  
Ranma and Synthia both cringed before the Lieutenant's bloodlust.  
The pigtailed man sighed. "All right, fine. As long as you remember that you have to wait until after I get out to detonate the bombs."  
"No promises," the weapons expert said neutrally. Then he turned toward Synthia. "All right toots. Front gate: what are we looking at?"  
The blonde blinked. "Uh... well... lots of stuff. The front courtyard has a minefield, and the main doorway has machine gun drones hidden in it. Beyond that is the reception hall. The reception primarily consists of lasers."  
Snake smirked. "Of course, with you taking the lead, you can turn off the traps for us."  
Synthia blinked again. "What? I can't turn off the traps."  
"You can't?"  
She shook her head. "You can't 'turn off' a minefield. And the gun drones are independently automated with no central control. Some of the traps can be controlled, but only from an interior station."  
Ranma shook his head. "Cut to the chase; how do you get into the castle without getting killed by your own traps?"  
"Oh, we just use the service entrance!" Synthia said, pointing off to the side of the courtyard.  
Ranma and Snake both twitched. From their vantage point they could see an overhang sticking out from the side of the castle, and under it a rickety, half-open screen door. Seeing the door led them to read a sign that was posted off to the side of the courtyard gate, which had an arrow pointing toward the side door along with the message Service entrance. Authorized personnel only. Do-gooders please use front entrance.  
"Service entrance. Okay, fine. What traps are over there?" Snake asked.  
"None. Why would we trap the only safe way in or out?" The blonde woman asked, rolling her eyes. "I mean, we have to get the mail sometime, you know."  
"Fair enough. I guess. Sort of." Ranma scratched his head. "Whatever. Can we get on with it?"  
Cha-chak! Snake cocked his shotgun, then rested it on his shoulder. "Saotome, arm yourself and prepare for battle. Tonight we give Deth the foiling of his life."  
"... Make a note: 'foiling' doesn't sound very intimidating."  
"Oh, shut up."

Beep! Beep! Click! Snake turned away from the third explosive charge and quickly slipped behind a large decorative column next to Ranma, who was covering him with pulse rifle at the ready.  
"That's three on this wall. If I can place one higher, and then place enough explosives in the basement lab, it should destabilize the castle enough to knock most of it over when it goes off."  
"What about the tower?" Ranma asked irritably, wanting to focus on the mission objective rather than simply causing as much damage as possible.  
"You worry about the tower. I'll worry about pointless destruction." Then the Lieutenant turned toward their captive, who was staring nervously at the armed plastic explosives. "So is this whole region trap-free? Like, entirely trap-free?"  
Synthia bit her lip anxiously. "Well... uh... yes..."  
Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Yes... but?"  
The blonde woman started to bigsweat as she laughed nervously. "But... there are... uh... sentries."  
Snake blinked. "Sentries? But I thought Deth only had two goons?"  
"He does," Synthia admitted, "but he also has a squad of killer robot spiders. Which patrol the castle regularly."  
"Ah," Ranma muttered, looking up suddenly. "I was **wondering** what that thing was."  
Sweatdropping, Synthia and Snake both looked up to see one of the aforementioned robotic spiders clinging to the ceiling. It was about four feet across taking into account its legspan, with its head segment covered in small, blood-red optical lenses.  
The blocky, metal fangs twitched menacingly for a moment, and then the steel arachnid released its hold on the ceiling, folding its legs inward before flipping over completely to land on its feet.

Wha-chang! The moment it landed, a hatch atop the thorax popped open, and the intruders were presented with a small gun that had a bulbous ammo feed attached to its rear end.  
The strange automaton didn't get to fire it however, as Ranma quickly stepped up and kicked the machine solidly in its head, knocking it back with enough force to smash its back into the wall.  
Turning, Ranma raised his rifle as he spotted another one of the mechanical guards emerging from behind a stairway. "Snake, behind you!"  
"Keep it busy for a sec!" The weapons expert shouted as Ranma opened fire. "I've gotta change ammo!" Grunting, Snake pulled the lever on his Pancor Jackhammer and let its standard 12 gauge shot spill onto the floor before expertly slipping several rounds of armor-piercing slug shot into its ammo feed.  
Ptang! Ting! The pulse rifle's tiny rounds bounced harmlessly off the robot spider's body as it scurried closer to Ranma, its own weapon emerging from its back.  
Zow! Ranma dove to the side as a thick, crackling bolt emerged from the robot spider's weapon, and his eyes widened as it suddenly spread out into a net of electrically-charged webbing, managing to catch his legs despite his dodge. Gzzack! "Gwah!"  
Growling, Snake turned out from behind the column to his back, and took aim at the automaton's sensor-laden skull. BLAM! Bits of metal and glass burst outward as the round punched through the armored skull, and the mechanical beast gave a final, violent shudder before its motor functions ceased permanently.  
"Ranma! You okay?" The lieutenant shouted, slipping back behind the column again as he searched the area for more targets.  
Ranma grit his teeth as he fought the paralyzing effect of the electric web, kicking the charged net off of his legs. "I'm fine! It's just-WHOA!" He rolled to the side to avoid getting impaled by a sharp metal leg, and then tried to kick himself up to his feet, only to stumble from the effects of the webbing.  
Snake noticed the first robot spider trying to spear Ranma's skull, and started to turn his gun on it, when he was suddenly bludgeoned over the head from behind, and fell onto the ground, the room suddenly seeming to spin around him as he was overwhelmed with pain.

Synthia grinned as Snake stumbled to his knees, and once again raised the antique brass vase to land a final concussive blow on the dazed police officer.  
Snake, of course, was not planning on going down that easily. Even half-conscious and in the throes of total agony, years of training, natural reflexes, and psychotic impulses allowed the Lieutenant to fall back on the one combat action most familiar to all gunmen raised in the rougher areas of America: blind saturation fire.  
"Meep!" Synthia's eyes bugged out as Snake's free arm ripped his sidearm from his belt, and aimed in her general direction.  
Blam! Blam! Blam! The blonde henchwoman cried out in surprise as one bullet blasted her vase right out of her hands, and she immediately hit the ground as Snake proceeded to empty his entire clip at her.  
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!" Synthia shouted, scrambling across the floor as hot lead whipped over her head and punched holes in the wall. Naturally, her cries merely served to enhance Snake's aim as his mind grasped the only indication of a target.  
Blam! Blam! Click! Growling as his pistol clip emptied itself, Snake grasped his throbbing head and tried to push himself to his feet so that he could gain his bearings well enough to use his shotgun once more.  
Zow! Gzzack! Then the weapons expert shouted in surprise as an electric web hit him full-on in the chest, and he crumpled to the ground, completely paralyzed.

"Damn bugs!" Ranma shouted, kicking away the first mechanical arachnid as it once again tried to give him a tracheotomy without the benefit of anesthesia.  
Finally getting his footing once again, Ranma quickly scanned for the robot spider that had been attacking him, and noted that its gun appeared to have been damaged from being smashed into the wall. Other than that though, the automaton seemed to possess plenty of life to keep fighting.  
'Not for long, though,' the pigtailed man decided, gritting his teeth and crossing his arms over his chest. "Mouko takabisha!" The spider halted as its sensors suddenly detected a sudden, impossible emission of kinetic energy focused in a sphere and directed at its body at high velocity. It never detected anything ever again.

Giving a satisfied smile as seeing the mechanical monster smashed to pieces and scattered across the dining hall, Ranma turned to meet his next opponent as it landed on the floor next to him and fired its projectile.  
Zow! Ready for the attack this time, Ranma somersaulted over the electric web and landed right on top of the extended weapon, crushing it with a flying kick and taking a position on the robot spider that it wasn't equipped to deal with.  
Gzzack! The pigtailed man turned as he heard Snake shout out in pain, and then growled as he saw yet another robot sentry turn to face him.  
Zow!  
Ranma quickly jumped behind the spider he was perched on, and then slammed his foot down on its bloated metal abdomen, causing its front portion to bounce up and take the webbing full-on in the face.  
Gzzack! TZZ-ZA-ZA-ZACK! Brzzzt! Sparks shot out of the spider's metal casing as its limbs began to spasm wildly, and it soon hit the ground in a twisted, twitching heap, smoke rising from several new holes in its carapace.  
Zow! Zow! This didn't stop the other robot spider from firing, and Ranma weaved back and forth at top speed to avoid getting caught as patches of stunner webs were flung at him.  
Zow! "Hyah!" Jumping over the last shot, Ranma smashed the last spider's armored head in with his fist, causing the floorboards of the old mansion to splinter and crack underneath his strike.  
"Ha! Guns! Who needs 'em?" Ranma cheered, grinning as he pulled his fist free of the shattered bits of metal.  
Clack! Then he blinked as hatch suddenly opened up on the spider's abdomen, and a small digital counter popped up with the number 3 on it.  
Click! 2... Click! 1... Beep!  
Ranma's left eye twitched. "That's rarely a good sign..."  
BWA-KOOOM!

Synthia coughed and waved a hand in front of her face to keep the smoke away, slowly getting up to take stock of the situation.  
She winced as she saw the gigantic, flaming hole that had been made at the mouth of the dining hall, and sighed as she reached into her cleavage and pulled out a walkie-talkie. "This is Synthia reporting in. We have an explosion in the dining hall, along with the incapacitated intruders. Retrieval and extinguisher units requested."  
Switching off the walkie-talkie, the blonde henchwoman sweatdropped as she took a more careful look at the devastation caused. "Wow. I never thought the self-destruct feature would come in handy. We should probably adjust the blast radius though; that was WAY too destructive."  
"I beg to differ," Ranma muttered, picking himself up off the ground and scaring the living daylights out of the buxom young woman.  
"B-B-B-But how!" Synthia screeched. "How the hell did you survive that!"  
"Practice," Ranma said in absolute seriousness as he began patting himself down, causing large clouds of black dust to billow off of him and fall to the floor.  
After giving himself a quick dusting, Ranma smirked and began to advance on the blonde woman, cracking his knuckles. "Now it's just you and me."  
Synthia, still wide-eyed, shook her head wildly.  
Ranma frowned. "There's one of those spider robots behind me, isn't there?"  
Synthia's expression didn't change as she once again shook her head.  
"... Several spider robots?"  
Again her expression remained the same, though this time she nodded.  
"Well, crap." Zow! Gzzack!

Dr. Deth chuckled as he approached the twitching and struggling police officers. Behind him, Maria directed the spider drones as they started spraying the fires with extinguisher modules, and Synthia quickly left to join her twin for fear that Ranma would somehow break free of the webs and attempt revenge upon her.  
"So officers, a valiant effort, but I'm afraid all your work has been for naught! You are now in my clutches!"  
The mad doctor turned around and raised his arms in the air. "With this victory, my success as conqueror of Earth is assured! In a mere hour, I will activate the radiotronic manipulation tower, and halt all transmission of electricity throughout Japan, converting electrical energy into useless radio waves that will spread throughout space as wasted energy! Once a total lack of energy has utterly broken the populace, only then will I announce my intentions, and force Japan's industry and government to turn over all control to me, or wallow in a primitive and harsh world where basic technology is nothing but a dream, with the inanimate and useless shells of countless devices constant reminders of..." the doctor slowly trailed off in the middle of his rant as a vicious snore erupted from Ranma's nose.  
Boot! "Ow! What'ya do that for!" Ranma complained.  
"You can't fall asleep! I'm not done telling you about my nefarious plans!" Deth shouted, fuming.  
Snake yawned, still conscious despite the shock and boredom, but also completely paralyzed from the neck down. "Look, we don't really care. Whatever you plan to do doesn't change our objective of destroying your stupid machine, right?"  
"Besides, once the electric charge wears off, the webbing stays warm. It's actually kind of comfortable," Ranma remarked, wanting to curl right back up and drift off to sleep.  
"Could you show a LITTLE interest in protecting the world from total domination, please?" Dr. Deth requested angrily.  
Snake rolled his eyes. "If it makes you feel any better, you'll never get away with it."  
Deth nodded in satisfaction at the familiar challenge. "Oh, but I already have! And once you're out of the way, there will be nothing to stop me! The radiotronic manipulation-"  
"You know, I've been thinking about this since this mission started, and that really is a pretty dumb name for a 'take-over-the-world' machine," Ranma commented.  
Dr. Deth blinked. Then he planted his hands on his hips. "Oh really? Well, what would YOU call an impossibly complex and sci-fi-ish electric coil based on the principles of the late eccentric genius Nikolai Tesla?"  
The pigtailed man took two seconds to think. "Tesla coil. That way you don't even need an acronym."  
"Hey... that's not bad," Synthia admitted.  
"Ooh! That's much better than my idea! 'Deth coil' sounded kind of tacky!" Maria said cheerfully.  
The mad doctor stared neutrally at the martial artist. "I'll... consider it. Anyway, now to take care of you two!"  
Ranma sighed. "So I assume we'll be executed immediately?"  
Deth snorted. "Executed? I don't have time for that. No, you'll be placed in my old and poorly-maintained dungeon, and guarded by one of my lonely and easily overpowered young assistants who will hold the only key to your cell!"  
Ranma sweatdropped, and remained silent for several moments. "... Seriously, are you even **trying**! I've had girlfriends more evil than you!"  
"Silence! Maria, take them to their cell!" The insane doctor demanded, turning away as the aforementioned twin moved to do his bidding. "Now, at last, my dream of world domination will become a reality!"  
"Again," Synthia said, snickering slightly.  
"Did I shout 'silence'? I'm pretty sure I did."

Ranma and Snake remained silent as two robot spiders dragged them across the floor through the castle halls.  
"I think I'm starting to understand what Seras was saying," Snake muttered. "It is kind of hard to take all this seriously."  
"I wonder if that evil terrorist lady is into this sort of thing," Ranma mused. It would certainly be a strange circumstance if amongst all the murder and deceit the Freedom's Angel General really just wanted to enjoy the challenge of tangling with opposition.  
"I doubt it. Tokima strikes me as the kind of woman with a healthy sense of self-preservation." Snake struggled around a bit in his net so that he could face the woman leading the small convoy. "So... Maria, was it? I don't get it. Are you and that other chick Deth's daughters, or what?"  
"We're interns. Why?" Maria asked, looking back at the prisoners as she walked.  
Snake sweatdropped. "Interns. Of course."  
"Me and Synthia need the money to pay for college courses in the summer. You know how expensive it is living in Japan!" Maria giggled as she opened the door that led to the dungeon. "Now watch your step!"  
Snake blinked. "We can't really watch our-STAIRS! DEAR GOD, NO! ARRGH!"  
"WAAUGH! OW! OW! OW!"

Asuka pondered her department's newest predicament as she hung up the phone on the main desk, having just spoken to Tycho. Apparently, in addition to the issue of keeping Seras sober long enough to do anything about Kyle's newest condition, the victim in question had run off on his own.  
This in itself was hardly a problem, nor was it a surprise. Kyle was easily the least intelligent and most easily distracted of her forces, and this behavior was not at all out of character for him.  
'Actually, none of his behavior has really been out of character,' Asuka thought to herself. 'I guess I'm taking Junko's word for it that he's been changed mentally at all.'  
The police captain looked over as she felt something hard and warm rub against her leg, and leaned over slightly to pat Hunter as the zergling started making grumbling noises.  
"Okay, okay. We'll be on our way in just a sec. I just have to grab my purse..."

Crouching behind a nearby desk and remaining absolutely silent, Kyle's eyes narrowed as Asuka walked briskly into the women's locker room to get her purse, totally unaware of his presence and the trap that he had set.  
Some small part of his brain that actually worked bombarded him with complaints, saying that now would be a perfect time to do a direct confrontation and take the Captain out here and now, like he had decided to do earlier. But this plot had come from Tycho, and if there was one thing he knew about the DAPC's immoral driver, it was that Tycho was slightly smarter than he was.  
Of course, he had encountered a slight problem with phase one. He understood the principle behind Tycho's hastily explained plan (which was in itself a small miracle): a mouse placed in a small, enclosed space would panic and agitate Hunter's psychically sensitive instincts, causing him to want to attack the purse, with so much fear coming from such an odd place. Asuka would try to defend her property, and hopefully lose an arm or her head doing so.  
The only problem was that he hadn't been able to find a mouse. Luckily, he had located a suitable substitute. Sort of suitable. It was a small animal, after all. Or at least, it looked like an animal.  
"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

Hunter jerked his head to the side as a panicked scream erupted from the women's locker room, and the zergling crept toward the area as loud banging noises and shouting continued to come from that room.  
"Damn it all! No!" Bam! Asuka finally stumbled backward through the double-doors that led to the locker room, holding a long, black worm-like creature that was wrapped around her arm. The creature had an eyeless head full of sharp, jagged teeth, and was currently weaving back and forth to get in position for a good strike that would allow it to burrow into the captain's skull. Asuka, naturally, was determined to complicate this as best she could, and waved the afflicted arm about like a madwoman as she turned around in circles and shouted for help.  
Paying attention to where she was going was not a big concern for the blue-haired woman, and her eyes widened as her foot struck a hard, solid object and threw her off-balance and onto the floor.  
"Ssssaaa!" The monstrous worm attached to her arm ignored the vertigo of its host's stumbling, and reared its head back for the final, penetrating strike.  
Crunch! Then its body went slack as Hunter's beak reached up and snapped its head off.

'Huh. Completely unexpected,' Kyle thought as he watched Hunter nudge his mistress, who was putting all available effort toward trying not to hyperventilate. 'Oh well. Time for phase two!'

Dr. Deth chuckled darkly as his chair atop his laboratory column rose up above the humming and beeping machines below. "At last, the time is almost upon us! Synthia! Begin activation of the Tesla coil!"  
"Yes, Doctor!" The blonde said enthusiastically, furiously working the buttons and dials on her control console.  
Deth stood up and clasped his hands behind his back. "And now-"  
Boom! A muffled explosion sounded from above, and Deth jerked his head up, as if expecting to see the detonation past the layers of stone and wood. "Synthia, report! Have the prisoners escaped?"  
The henchwoman frowned as she rushed to a different console. "Let's see here... what? No. It didn't come from the dungeon..." Shaking her head at the anomaly, Synthia continued to check the security systems.  
Deth raised an eyebrow. "Wait... didn't that Snake character arm some bombs in the hall? Maybe they were on a timed fuse?" The more he thought about that prospect, however, the less sense it made. The explosion should have been three times as loud, and the damage would have been felt from the laboratory, easily.  
"Oh my God!" Synthia suddenly shouted, looking pale. "The front perimeter has been breached! We have intruders attacking the front gate!"  
Dr. Deth scratched his head. "So that was the minefield? Did the DAPC send its other members in?"  
"No, Doctor! The attacking forces... they're... attorney commandos!"  
The mad scientist remained silent for several moments. "Huh?"

Braa-aa-aa-aa-aap!  
Ptang! Twang! Holding up an armored briefcase, the squad leader deflected the oncoming fire from the door-mounted gun drones, growling as his comrades fell around him to the spray of bullets.  
"Westwood Studios hereby summons you to a court of law to discuss your balatant copyright violation of WS-held intellectual property! Hyah!" Flinging an arm forward, a wave of red tape whipped outward and wrapped up the two mechanical defense guns, which ground to a halt as the commandos moved forward.  
"Breach those doors! Clear those mines! Deliver those summons! Let's move, move, move!"

Asuka held her head as she led Hunter through the alleyways of Tokyo's industrial sector, still feeling a bit on edge after having a brain-eating monster emerge from her purse and try to feed on her.  
"Gr-r-r..." Hunter made a deep, vibrating growling sound and lightly scraped at Asuka's leg with his spine-mounted claws. "Lightly" meaning that he merely sliced through her pants and almost tore bleeding gashes in her thigh rather than taking the leg off entirely.  
"Ow! Stop that!" Asuka shouted, batting the zergling's claws away. "We're almost there! Calm down, already!"

Peeking around the corner of the building up ahead, Kyle grinned as he saw his target approaching, and then quickly ducked back into cover.  
"Hey Mister, why are you holding a steak?"  
The blond lieutenant turned and blinked as he saw a young girl standing behind him, looking curiously at the large hunk of meat he carried in one hand. Behind the girl was a large dog, probably of the doberman species, that also had its eyes on the meat with far more carnal intentions.  
"Ssh!" Kyle placed a finger vertical over his lips. "Be quiet! This is an assassination!"  
The little girl cocked her head to one side. "What's a 'assashisashun'?"  
The mutated officer sweatdropped. "No, an 'assassination'. Its the covertly plotted and executed murder of-" Kyle was cut off as the child's dog finally worked up the nerve to make a grab for the meat, and tore most of it from the police officer's grip before jumping back behind his owner.  
"HEY! MY MEAT! Give that back!" Kyle insisted, shaking a fist angrily at the retreating canine.  
"Kyle? There you are!"  
The blond officer jumped in surprise at Asuka's voice. "Uh... C-C-Captain! Funny meeting you here when I was lying in wait for you!" He blurted out, not having prepared himself for the possibility of discovery.  
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Waiting for me?" Then she saw that Kyle was holding a scrap of steak meat in one hand, and that the dog hiding behind its owner had the rest of the meat in its mouth. Considering what Kyle was shouting when she arrived... "You brought meat for Hunter? That's actually pretty decent of you!"  
The little girl, for the most part, was totally preoccupied by the appearance of a killer alien. "Whoa... your doggy is way bigger than mine!"  
The doberman apparently took exception to the comparison, and stepped out from behind the girl, growling at the zergling from around the steak in its maw. "Grrrrr..."  
Hunter spotted the dead meat being carried by the live meat that was apparently trying to protect it, and emitted a low hissing sound as he sucked a big batch of air into his lungs. "SCREEE-AAAAAAAAAH!"  
Asuka, Kyle, and the child all winced and covered their ears as Hunter let loose a blood-curdling screech, and the doberman's jaw went completely slack, allowing the steak to tumble out onto the ground.  
Whimpering and shaking, the dog then curled up behind the girl as Hunter tromped forward and snapped up the dirtied meat, ripping the tough, raw beef apart and swallowing it completely in two bites.  
Asuka shook her head and stepped between the zergling and girl, patting the child on the head. "Why don't you run off and play now? I'm afraid our dog isn't very friendly toward most people. Or other dogs."  
The little girl nodded and then waved. "Okay lady, I love you buh-bye!" Then she snatched up her dog's collar and skipped away down the street, apparently oblivious to Hunter's blood-red gaze that was centered on her pet.  
After gesturing to the zergling that he was NOT to give chase, Asuka reached behind her and grabbed onto the back of Kyle's jacket as he tried to sneak away. "Oh, no you don't. You're coming with me, Lieutenant." Turning around, she sweatdropped as she realized that Kyle was now holding a sniper rifle over his shoulder. "What do you think you're doing with THAT?"  
Kyle blinked. "Sniping. Duh. What ELSE would I do with a sniper rifle?"  
"Never mind. You've **definitely** been hanging around Snake too much." Massaging her forehead, she began to drag her subordinate along with her toward the rendering plant where they fed Hunter. "You're staying with me for now. We can't be having you wander off."  
"Impossible," Kyle insisted. "I have a mission to complete."  
Asuka cocked her head to one side. "What mission is that?"  
Kyle opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated in a remarkable display of minimal forethought. "I'm pretty sure that telling you the details of the mission would compromise it."  
"Kyle, I'm the only one who has authority to assign missions to you," Asuka deadpanned as she yanked the larger man in front of her and started shoving him forward.  
The blonde man frowned. "I'll check with the voices in my head, but I think they'd disagree."  
"Oh yes," the bluette mumbled, "we are DEFINITELY giving that useless scrap of gray matter a good scrubbing. Now march!"  
"Awww..."

A slightly bruised Ranma and a badly bruised Snake looked at each other as they heard the muffled explosion outside.  
"You didn't set off those bombs, did you?" Ranma asked suspiciously, knowing that the fact that they were still in the castle wouldn't necessarily stop Snake from annihilating it.  
"No. You didn't blow anything up by poking it, did you?" Snake asked, knowing full well that Ranma's supposed ability to destroy things with a touch was absolute nonsense, but wanting to make sure nonetheless.  
"Nuh-uh." Ranma turned to Maria, who was holding Ranma's pulse rifle at the ready (though she was holding it in such a way that the officers could tell she barely knew what to do with it). "Do you know what that was?"  
Maria frowned. "No... I think I should probably go check on it... but should I leave the key here?" The blonde scratched her head. "Dr. Deth didn't go over the procedures for checking on distractions and leaving prisoners unsupervised."  
Ranma sweatdropped. "You know what? Forget about it. Let's not make this TOO easy."  
Maria shrugged and went back to guarding her prisoners, which mostly involved standing still while facing away from the 8' X 8' rusted iron cage while staring at the bleak, moist dungeon walls, which had been laden with skeletons and excessive grime that Ranma was pretty sure was placed there for atmosphere rather than having accumulated through the course of Deth's activities.  
The pigtailed man turned toward his superior. "So, what's the plan?" He whispered.  
"First of all, you can stop whispering," Snake muttered, "I really don't think we have to be very clever about this."  
Ranma nodded. "Fair enough. Well, I'm not paralyzed anymore, so should I just force open the bars?"  
Snake shook his head. "Nah. Provided she knows which end to point at us," he gestured toward the sweatdropping blonde, "she could turn and shoot us before we could actually get out. Maybe you don't mind 10 mm. rounds lodged in your ribcage, but I'm not a fan."  
"So we do need an actual plan to get out," Ranma mumbled, rubbing his chin. Then he turned toward Maria. "Hey, what does your boss's enemies usually do to escape from captivity?"  
Maria blinked and turned around as she realized that they were asking her for advice. "Uhm... I'm not sure I'm allowed to give you hints..."  
"Aw, c'mon, this is our first dungeon escape! Cut us some slack, here!" Snake insisted, frowning.  
"Well..." Maria blushed, and tugged on her shirt a bit. "The usual guy always escapes by... seducing the guard." She smiled a bit as both officers raised an eyebrow.  
Ranma turned to Snake. "That sounds like a bad idea to me."  
"Agreed. Plus it would take too long. I'm sure that there's a perfectly good solution to this problem that just uses violence." Snake picked up the heavy metal tin that their meal had been delivered in (naturally, both Ranma and Snake had been willing to put their escape on hold until after dinner) and smirked, angling it so that he could get a clear throw without hitting the bars of the cage.  
Maria frowned. "Am I going to have to actually watch you while I'm guarding you?"  
"Great! Now her guard is up! I knew we should have stuck to whispering!" Ranma complained, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"Oh, calm down," Snake chided. "We'll get her. I mean, we both know from experience how stupid blondes are."  
"Hey!" Maria shouted, turning around and looking hurt. "That's a horrible thing to say! I'll have you know that vicious stereotypes like that are the reason that me and my sister had to take an internship at a mad scientist's lab in the first place! People like you are always judging women by their looks, assuming that chesty blondes are dumb and airheaded! It's cruel, unfair, and ignorant! You should be ashamed!"  
Snake looked startled from the outburst, and then rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "I, uh, I'm sorry. That was really awful of me, and I-OH MY GOD, IT'S ONE OF THE BACKSTREET BOYS!" He shouted suddenly, pointing behind the buxom sentry.  
Maria's eyes widened. "Really! Which one?"  
Snake blinked. "Uh... I dunno. Whichever one's your favorite, I guess."  
"OMIGOSH! Kevin! Where!" Maria shouted happily, spinning around to look.  
Whang! Then her world went dark as Snake's meal tray struck her solidly in the back of the head.

"Idiot," Snake grumbled mercilessly. "Let's jam, Saotome."  
"You know, I don't know which is worse," Ranma commented as he grabbed two of the cage's iron bars and bent them outward, "that all the horrible things you say are true, or that all the horrible things you do work out for the best."  
Snake nodded as he stepped through the cage's new exit. "Yeah, that is a tough question. We'll have time for that later, though. Let's get our gear and save the world."  
"Yes sir!"

"Ah hah!" The attorney commando shouted as he burst through the reinforced door leading to Deth's basement laboratory. "Dr. Sigmund G. Deth! You are hereby summoned to a court of law to answer to your blatant copyright infringement of-"  
Zow! The heavily armed lawyer was suddenly struck by a stunner web as the robot spider guarding the lab fired upon him, blasting him back through the doorway and completely entangling the man.  
Sitting in his chair, Dr. Deth frowned. "I really didn't know that they offered minors in infiltration and demolitions to law students."  
"Well, it's sort of like how you got your minors in killer robot design and doomsday device engineering along with your doctorate in medicine," Synthia explained. "I suppose it has a lot to do with going to the right school."  
"Dr. Sigmund G. Deth! Westwood Studios claims exclusive rights to the intellectual property 'Tesla coil,' and your violation of copyright-" Zow! Zow!  
Not bothering to watch as the second attorney commando went down, Deth turned his chair so he could look down on his assistant. "What's the situation look like out there?"  
"The infiltrating forces are being cut down pretty quickly," Synthia answered, "but they've already done significant damage. Much of sectors one and two have been covered in summons and red tape, and the lawyers that were wounded and not killed are using their last bits of strength to sue us for their injuries."  
Deth shook his head. "Well, we can't have that. Adjust the spider drones' stunner webs to 'kill'."  
"Done and done, doctor!"

Zow! Zow! The mechanical arachnid that served as the lab's main sentry fired two more shots as the advancing lawyers attempted to climb over their entangled comrades, but the attorney commandos were soon completely blocked off from the lab as their mangled bodies formed a thick wad of cheap suits, electrified wire, and burning flesh.  
The robot spider skittered over a grate on the floor as it tried to get a better firing position, in order to deploy enough webs to complicate any extended effort to move the blockade.  
BLAM! Deth and Synthia winced as the lone robot spider's thorax suddenly burst upward in a shower of metal armor and electronic components before the automaton sank down on top of the vent, its legs no longer possessing the strength to hold up its body.  
After a moment the shattered construct was flipped over onto its back, and Snake emerged from the damaged grate, smoke still coming from the barrel of his shotgun.  
"Well well well, it would seem you managed to escape from my dungeon!" Dr. Deth noted calmly, sitting back in his chair atop the centered column. "Apparently I've underestimated you!"  
"Underestimated us nothin'," Ranma grumbled as he too emerged from beneath the grating, carrying Maria over his shoulder. "You didn't even take our weapons to a different room! I mean, if we were to leave, you'd probably just stop yourself!"  
Synthia sweatdropped as Deth fumed. 'Ouch. Hit the nail on the head.'  
"I do admit, your ploy to trick me into a breach of copyright law was more clever than I could have expected from you, officer," Deth smirked at Ranma, "but your plan has only been a minor setback!"  
Ranma stared at him for a moment. "Breach on the what, now? What are you talking about? I never had any 'plan' beyond getting in here and smashing your stupid tower."  
"Silence, fools! You think you've won! Nobody can escape Deth!" The mad scientist stood up and laughed as he raised a fist in the air.  
"You realize that pun only makes sense in English, right?" Snake said blithely. "There's no way Saotome understood that."  
"Would you stop arguing with me!" the mad doctor shouted, slamming a fist onto his armrest. "Now die!"

Vrrrm! On the scaffolding around the Tesla coil, which was mounted at the edge of the lab closest to the exact center of the castle fortress, several mounted miniguns lowered themselves from their housing and swiveled down to aim at the lab's intruders.  
A second whirring noise alerted the two police officers to the raising of a large protective wall around the circle of consoles and monitors that surrounded Deth's chair, and within moments the entire control area was locked in a towering column of transparent bullet-proof glass.  
"Ha ha ha ha ha! What will you do now, officer? It's going to take more than that puny pop gun of yours to face me! Surrender or meet your doom!"  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Wow... that's a lotta guns..." Then he started looking around, shifting the woman on his back slightly. "Uh, hey, is there like, any safe out-of-the-way spot I can drop her off? I don't really want to be weighed down when those things start up."  
Snake ignored him. "Hmph. Doctor, in my tenure as a Texan bounty hunter and then a Tokyo police officer, I've adopted two principles that I've learned to adapt to every aspect of my life."  
Deth blinked, wondering where the lieutenant was going with this.  
Snake raised one finger. "The first one is: There is no problem which cannot be gracefully solved with the proper application of violence!"  
Ranma nodded. "I didn't believe it either, but it's true. Really."  
Snake raised a second finger. "The second one is: Violence is best applied in the form of liberally placed heavy explosives!"  
Dr. Deth raised an eyebrow. "Are you going somewhere with this?"  
Without further explanation, Snake calmly removed a detonator from his belt, flipped the frequency designator on the side, and then pressed the button.  
KA-KROOOM! The entire laboratory shook as a massive detonation from below threatened to rip the floor apart, and Ranma yelped and jumped forward as flames burst out of the damaged grate behind him.  
"Wh-What! No!" Deth yelled, the lights flickering on and off for a moment due to the shock waves.  
Rrrrrrumble! Off to the side of the lab, the Tesla coil trembled slightly as its supporting floor crumbled, and then the massive tower sunk into the dungeon area below as the reinforced stone and wood lost the integrity needed to support the device's massive weight.  
Crunch! Smash! The miniguns, and indeed the vast majority of the lab's electric wiring was torn apart as the sinking Tesla coil's extended wires ripped through the scaffolding, bringing down huge bundles of cables and steel atop the sensitive generators and transformers below.  
"Wasn't that kind of reckless? That seemed reckless to me," Ranma mumbled, watching as electric cables began to spill over onto the machines scattered across the lab and unleash thick bolts of electricity into the unprotected casing and bare consoles.  
Crackle! Blam! Several devices attached to the ceiling burst as power surges began to run through them, and torrents of sparks began to pour down from above as arcs of energy lashed out from damaged power nodes.  
"Damn you! Damn you all! You won't get away with this! I'll have my revenge!" Dr. Deth shouted, shaking a fist at the officers as the machines outside his protective shield began to explode one by one, showering glass and bits of metal about the lab.  
Pushing a button on his chair's armrest, the circle of consoles surrounding his personal chair began to rise upward on a hydraulic lift, behind pushed toward the roof through the length of its protective shield.  
Tink! Tink! Tink! Deth looked down suddenly as he noticed Ranma tapping on the glass.  
"Hey! Could you take her with you? I really don't want to have to carry her out of this!" Ranma shouted, gesturing to the buxom young woman still draped over his back.  
"Oh... yes! Thank you!" Dr. Deth adjusted the control platform back down slightly, and a small window opened in front of Ranma, allowing him to stuff the intern inside quickly.  
"Until we meet again, fools! Next time, I will destroy you all!" The mad doctor boasted, again shaking his fist at the two police officers as he made his escape through the laboratory ceiling.

Boom! Z-ZAP! Gzsht!  
Ranma covered his head as another explosion above him rained bits of flame and shrapnel over his head. "So, now what! We have to get outta here!"  
"Not gonna happen!" Snake groused as he took cover behind some empty generator casing. "The dungeon where we came from is flaming pit of rubble, and our only exit is clogged by dead lawyers!"  
"Gimme a break!" Pow! Blam!  
Snake winced as another detonating transformer sent a writhing electric cable lashing about near his feet. "Of course, in a situation like this, I really have no choice but to fall back on my usual principles. Violence and explosions."  
"How are explosions going to save us from explosions!" Ranma shouted, backing toward his superior officer as a falling chunk of steel debris crashed into his previous hiding spot.  
"You must trust in the bomb!" Snake shouted, once again withdrawing his detonator. "Love it! Respect it! Believe in it!"  
Ranma's eyes widened. "No! Don't!"

Dr. Deth sighed as he watched the east wall of his castle fortress explode outward, throwing huge chunks of stone across the surrounding area, and causing the eastern half of the castle to slowly crumble away without the support of the main wall.  
"Impressive placement of explosives. I didn't actually believe that he could cause the surrounding wall to collapse without eliminating the towers," Deth remarked, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his lab coat.  
Synthia smiled brightly. "Well, they seem very skilled at that, at least!" Leaning against her side, Maria groaned and rubbed the large, red bump on her head, having only recently regained consciousness.  
"Oh well. I've had my fun. What say we go into the city and go out to eat?" Dr. Deth turned away from his collapsing stronghold and opened the side door of his Beemer, inviting Synthia inside.  
"Ooh, there's this new Chinese place I've been wanting to try!" Synthia said as she helped Maria inside. "I'm glad we failed to take over the world; it probably would have been months before things settled down enough for them to open again."  
Deth laughed. "Yes, yes. Let's look on the bright side. When all your plans lay foiled and your home is in ruins, at least you have your health and your friends. Let's go!"

Long after the car had left the premises, a particularly large pile of rubble started to shake as a blue glow coalesced underneath it.  
"_Mouko takabisha_!" Kablam!  
Exploding outward in what would hopefully be the last detonation the abused fortress would have to suffer that day, the ki blast rocketed toward the sky as it cleared away the burnt debris that had been blocking its path.  
Gasp! Cough! Cough! Ranma flopped down over the edge of the blast crater he had just created, his entire body charred and totally exhausted.  
Cough! Hack! Snake fell forward next to him, in equally bad shape. Though the lieutenant was grinning. "Say it."  
Cough! "Yeah. Okay. It worked. AGAIN." Cough! Then Ranma glared at him. "But I think you're forgetting something important."  
Snake stopped to think. "No, I'm pretty sure I set off all the bombs."  
Ranma would have smacked his superior upside the head, but quite frankly, didn't have the energy. "Remember what the Captain said would happen I was caught in another bomb blast?"  
Snake remained silent for several moments. "You don't think this counts, does it?"  
"Of course it counts!" Ranma shouted irritably. "You could have killed us both! Plus, you killed all those guys who assaulted the castle!"  
"Who cares? They were only lawyers! Besides, it was the only option!" The lieutenant protested. "And it worked! You can't do this to me, Saotome! Don't tell the Captain about it! Please! I'm begging you!"  
"Why shouldn't I?" Ranma groused. "It's about time you had to take the heat for always flying off the handle!"  
"Don't! Don't let them take away my precious guns!" Snake shouted desperately, rolling over slightly so that he could grab onto the remains of Ranma's combat armor pleadingly. "I'll do anything! Don't let Asuka know!"  
"... Anything, huh?"

Robotic spiders scrapped: 5 (+ 12 more in the ensuing explosion)  
Enemy strongholds leveled: 1  
Goons disabled (but not killed): 1  
Attorney commandos slaughtered: 21  
Assassination plots failed: 4  
Deluxe sushi platters Snake had to get Ranma to buy his silence: 43

End Chapter 20 


	21. Domo Arigato Mr Roboto

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Who the hell does disclaimers anymore? If someone was going to sue me for doing this, you'd think they'd have gotten me before now, right? I mean, my last "disclaimer" just said "Vote Quimby." And between you, me, and all the other people reading this, I totally wouldn't.

Guardian  
Chapter 21  
Domo Arigato, Mister Roboto

Hour 1: It has begun. Not to say that this cruel mockery of humane treatment just started, but I can now feel the true pressure building upon me, pressing in against my mind. They seek to cleanse my mind, to make me whole, and to make me coherent enough to perform slipshod brain surgery. I do not know if they will succeed. But I do know that the cost to me will be greater than the worth of that fool Tekai. At least, you know, to me it will be.  
Hour 2: What is this feeling? It's awful, like a thousand pistons pressing in on my brain. It's like a hangover, but not quite as painful as it is troubling. The pistons aren't pounding within my head, just... pressing. Like thoughts and feelings and images that surrounded me all the time, once held at bay by a pleasant state of drunkeness, finally affecting me, touching me, pressuring me... I don't like it. I hate it. They will pay for this. They will all pay.  
Hour 3: I can feel the last effects of alcohol finally drifting from my mind, like a cooling mist burned away to reveal a scorching sun overhead... no, no, it's more like the effects of a painkiller finally wearing off as the pain starts again. But then, that's hardly an artistic simile as alcohol is a drug itself, and has been used as a painkiller for... AAAH! What's happening to me? So many thoughts, flitting in and out of my mind! I can't focus on anything anymore, and my mind starts to wander. I suspect Yamma is trying to kill me. I also suspect Snake is trying to kill me, but then, everybody feels that way about him. Tekai is probably also trying to kill me, but he's too stupid to do it. Both Tekais, in fact. Maybe Saotome, too. No, wait, if Saotome wanted to kill me, I would be dead by now. Maybe Yamazaki? Yeah, he seems like a good bet. Hunter is my only friend. He'll protect me.  
Hour 3.5: Hunter is not a very good friend. In (blood stain) cage and then (blood stain) I barely got out with my arm. I hope we have some Band-Aids left.  
Hour 4: I didn't find any Band-Aids, so I disinfected the wound and then stitched it up. It was pretty painful without any anesthesia - I had replaced most of my painkillers with alcohol, which Captain Takami has already confiscated - but I got it done quickly and without any problems. It's kind of odd; I really can't remember a time that I've completed such a simple and effective method of medical treatment. Aren't I a doctor? Well, no, not technically, but I know the ins and outs. Yet I usually just end up just pouring water or alcohol on wounds and then wrapping them up in bandages. Sometimes when people aren't even wounded, but sick. It never really occurred to me before, but I should really step up in my treatments. I'm the only person here even remotely qualified to diagnose, much less heal, the myriad strange and destructive effects our officers are exposed to. If one of them were exposed to a necrotic virus, could I save them? Could I stop a viral mutagen? What about a concentrated dose of radiation? I suddenly feel the weight of my responsibilities, and I am sorely lacking. I must prepare.  
Hour 4.1: I've found several resources for conducting successful surgical procedures on the neural cortex, specifically the medulla oblongata, and isolated several key elements in the chemical compound affecting Tekai's brain. I believe I'll have an anti-agent within the hour. Depending on how successful the agent is, surgery might actually prove to be completely unnecessary.  
Hour 4.3: I've developed the aforementioned agent. It turned out to be far easier than I thought. Of course, I also find the offending agent to be highly suspicious. This almost seems like HIS work... nonetheless, I've ordered Lieutenant Snake to bring Tekai up here and strap him down. He'll be back to his natural Cro-Magnon state very soon. Apparently, the Lieutenant took issue with having to follow my orders in carting Tekai around. I don't see what the big problem is; it's not like the fool is difficult to handle at all. Yamma claims that it has less to do with my directive and more to do with me calling Snake a psychotic buffoon without provocation. But then, Yamma has about the same brain capacity as the corpses he so delights in working with, so his opinion has no value to me.  
Hour 4.3.1: I don't know what's taking that trigger-happy imbecile so long, but as long as he's taking his bloody time, I've put the whole Tekai brain-cleaning nonsense aside so that I can concentrate on something relevant. It's been too long since I put aside my work on human-cyborg applications, and I believe it's time I got back on track. My latest work was on human transference to a positronic core consciousness that could be easily... oh, here he is. Looks like the trigger-happy fool has finally arrived with the mutant fool. Not that I could care less if that blond Neanderthal goes mad and rips apart every idiot in this pitiful facility limb from limb. Especially that Snake cretin who insists on standing behind me and trying to get my attention when I'm clearly writing in my journal. And now he's reading over my shoulder, as if an American could possibly understand Japanese characters of this complexity. Why we invite such pathetic examples of the human species to protect those of us less capable of meaningless violence is really-OW! OW! OW!

Snake shrugged as he pushed away the partially-crumpled piece of paper, sliding it through a small puddle of spilled whiskey and off the bar counter. "And that's all it says. Not much of a journal, if you ask me."  
Seated next to the Lieutenant behind the bar, Ranma and Kyle both frowned. Kyle, because he had a vague sense that the scrambled collection of recorded thoughts meant something beyond his understanding, and Ranma, because he still hadn't figured out what he was doing sitting in a bar at ten o'clock when he didn't drink or pick up women.  
"So, wait... why did Seras write 'OW! OW! OW!' while you hit him? Why didn't he just say it?" Ranma asked, picking up the slip of paper.  
"I have no idea," Snake mumbled, downing a shot and then gesturing for another. "He was just really intent on recording his thoughts, for some reason."  
Ranma scratched his chin, perplexed. Then he shrugged and put down Seras' note. "Well, anyway, are you sure you're okay, Kyle? I thought this thing was going to be a bigger deal than getting a needle in the head."  
"Well, it wasn't really a needle so much as a drill," Kyle explained, stopping to take a sip of beer, "Seras said that my skull was too thick for any conventional needle to pierce it. And then he said a bunch of other stuff about my skull which I didn't really understand, but which didn't sound very nice." He shrugged. "It really stung for a bit, but he said that I have healing abilities about on par with Hunter, so I'd be okay without any recovery treatment."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "So he drilled a hole in your head, injected some fluid in there, and then left you lying on the table?"  
Kyle shook his head. "No, he drilled a hole in my head, injected some fluid in there, rolled the bed over to the stairs, and then tilted the bed over so that I rolled out of it." He rubbed his head, which was still throbbing a bit. "I guess he was busy or something."  
"Busy? Busy with what? Wouldn't he be scrambling to get back to the sake?" Ranma asked.  
"We don't know," Snake replied. "Kyle was too busy falling down the stairs, and I was busy watching, so I guess he could've been up to anything before we left. As soon as he was done with Kyle, Tuko holed himself up in the lab. Maybe he found his stash later, but I have no idea what he's doing."  
"Well, as long as you're not crazy anymore, that's great," Ranma said, nodding his head sharply. "... Did Seras happen to fix anything else in your brain? You know, as long as he was messing around in there?"  
The blond man blinked. "Fix anything else? Like what?"  
"Never mind. It was way too much to hope fore anyway," the pigtailed man muttered, idly wondering if he should order some tea or soda so long as he was sitting there anyway.  
"Hey you guys! What's going on?"

The three men all looked over their shoulders as Junko entered the establishment, waving cheerfully at her fellow officers.  
Ranma and Kyle both blinked in surprise as a man they both recognized stepped into the bar behind the redheaded woman; a tall, Russian man wearing a trench coat, a crucifix, and a stony frown.  
"Hey, it's the Catholic dude! What's up, man?" Ranma said cheerfully, waving to the brooding gunman.  
Rayden's head snapped upward at hearing the familiar voice, and then he quickly strode forward, stepping in front of Junko to get to Ranma.  
When he was within arms reach, the super-soldier bowed respectfully, and then spoke. "I am not in the habit of asking favors from those who are not indebted to me. However, I must beg one of you."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow, noting that despite the desperate tone of voice, Rayden still had the same distasteful look on his face. 'Guess his expression doesn't change much.' "Uhm... well, I'll do the best that I can..."  
Nodding seriously, Rayden rested one hand on Ranma's shoulder in a gesture of companionship, then pointed at Junko. "Please, convince this madwoman to return my weapons to me; she's kept me at her residence for two days, and will not return my firearms so that I can leave!"  
Snake, Ranma, Kyle, and several spectators that were listening in all sweatdropped.  
Junko just rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't be such a tattletale! It's for your own good, you know."  
"I fail to see what 'good' comes from this foolishness," the Russian growled.  
Ranma scratched his head, then looked at Junko. "Well, first things first: are you two dating or something?"  
"NO!" Rayden snapped angrily.  
"Oh, don't play so hard to get," Junko said flirtatiously, taking hold of Rayden's arm and hugging it. "You know, a good romp would be really good for that nasty, bitter disposition you always have!"  
"Please," the gunman said miserably to Ranma, "you must help me."  
"Wait, if you're not dating, then why would you bring him to your house, never mind keep him there?" Snake asked Junko.  
The redhead sighed. "Well, after hearing about this guy from the Captain, I found out about that record of his. I was hoping that if I could get his story and keep him out of the underground for a while, we could bring him onto our side."  
"He already IS on our side," Ranma reminded her. "He's all about killing terrorists and bad guys, right?"  
"His warrant says 'shoot on sight'," Junko deadpanned.  
"Snake, don't," Ranma said without turning, not needing to look to know that the Lieutenant was already drawing his sidearm. "Junko, look, I really don't know if we can do anything about his legal status. He carries illegal weapons and explosives, kills whoever he wants, and then steals from their dead bodies. I mean, WE'RE all cool with that, but how do you think you're going to get rid of that kind of police record?"  
"That's quite irrelevant," Rayden complained, "I'm just trying-"  
"Not now hon, the cops are talking." Junko interrupted. "I thought that the Captain could arrange something. She lets us get away with breaking the law in the name of justice, so why not him?"  
"We're police officers. He's just some guy," Ranma explained as clearly and logically as he could manage.

Rayden twitched irritably as Ranma and Junko started arguing the point in earnest, ignoring his presence entirely.  
"This is a waste of time. I must recover my weapons," the Russian muttered, looking around desperately, as if some random person or object situated in the bar could resolve his dilemma.  
Inevitably, his eyes settled on Kyle, and the super-soldier's frown deepened. Slightly.  
"You. Why did you attack me before?" Rayden said stonily, stepping up to the blond's stool and glaring down at him. "I bore you no ill will, have done great violence to your enemies, and yet without provocation, you struck me down."  
Kyle blinked up at the dark-haired man. "Oh, that. The voices in my head told me to."  
Rayden took a moment to digest this answer. Then he took a long step backward and mentally pleaded for a miracle to release him from these maniacs.

"How would the Captain even DO that?" Ranma said incredulously. "She's a cop, not a politician or a judge! We don't have the right to declare someone innocent of killing dozens of people, even if nobody misses them!"  
"Yet she can legitimize our acts of theft and pointless destruction easily," Junko noted, holding up her index finger. "I'm just saying that if she could manage that much, it's not much farther to legitimizing the illegal actions of our non-cop friends and allies."  
Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Don't you think we should be RESTRICTING our abuses of power, rather than expanding them?"  
"Why? What would be the other reasons to have power?" Snake asked curiously between shots of whiskey.  
Ranma sighed. "We're supposed to use our power to protect those who can't protect themselves. And Stone-Face here can protect himself from two-hundred ton giant mecha, so he doesn't count."  
Snake thought about that for a moment, then quickly slammed down another shot of alcohol before speaking. "When I went on that anti-terrorism tour, I stole the Pope's hat, and declared myself Pope. I then made the Cardinals compete in mock combat trials for my amusement, and declared the existence of a bunch of fake Commandments I made up myself. Now, personally, I found that a much more satisfying use of power than just helping people. Plus I got to take everything of value from the Vatican before I left, and nobody said anything!"  
The others were silent for a long moment. Finally, Ranma spoke.  
"You declared yourself Pope?" Rayden flinched.  
"Aren't you Jewish?" Junko asked uneasily. Rayden flinched again.  
"Eh, it's the same God," Snake said dismissively, "a God which now, by the way, directly supports the NRA through divine prophecy, and has declared Reverend Pat Robertson an arrogant, ignorant blowhard who wouldn't know a crucifix from a travel iron."  
Rayden turned to Junko. "Can we leave now?"  
"Oh, also, instead of not eating meat on Fridays, the ridiculously devoted are now required to hold paintball tournaments instead," Snake added as the bartender poured him another shot.  
"Please?" Rayden said quietly, almost at a squeak. To Junko's amusement, his distress was such that his ever-present frown had actually deepened to a scowl, which was a greater degree of expression than she had ever managed to provoke with all her flirting and manipulation.  
"Oh, calm down. We just got here. Sit down, have a drink," Junko said invitingly, sitting down at a barstool and patting the stool next to her.  
Rayden fought down several violent urges for a moment, then again addressed the redhead. "I don't drink."  
Junko raised an eyebrow. "You smoke, but you don't drink?"  
"Snake, don't," Ranma said again, and the aforementioned Texan grudgingly took his hand off his sidearm.  
"It is inconceivable why you would go to such lengths to keep me at your residence," Rayden said almost at a growl, his patience for the "quirky" police officers already running thin. "What do you hope to gain?"  
Junko sighed. "Well, I just thought it would be nice to have a man around the house, you know? Is that too much for a girl to ask?"  
The super-soldier twitched. "I am basing this on a very limited frame of observation, but I would guess you ALWAYS have a man around your house."  
"Heh heh! Yeah, I guess I do!" Junko said brightly, grinning. "But it's kinda nice to have one who'll stay at home when I'm at work, you know? And who isn't always bugging me to get down and-"  
"AND that's my cue to leave," Ranma said hastily, hopping off his stool and stretching. "Don't really know what I was doing here anyway; as long as we're sure Kyle's okay, I might as well go home and get some sleep."  
"T-Take me with you," Rayden muttered, looking miserable as Junko hung on his arm while feeling up his muscles.  
"Sorry, I've already got one freeloading monster at my house, and he's hard enough to keep fed by himself." Ranma sighed and scratched his head. "Once I forgot to bring him back a snack from work and he tried to eat the neighbors. I don't really need more of that."  
"Well, if we got more engagements on the job, then Hunter could do his snacking at work instead of after," Snake mumbled. "Sissy Freedom Angels, ducking back into hiding..."  
Kyle looked up at the ceiling in contemplation. "Huh. It HAS been unusually quiet the last couple days. Wonder what those guys are up to, anyway?"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"DESTROY! DESTROY!" Igov shouted in a booming, mechanical voice as his Gatling gun-arm tore long lines of holes all over the walls.  
_Braa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa!_  
Covering her ears as she kept her head down behind a large, metal storage container, Alexandra grimaced at the sounds of ricochets off of the relatively thin metal of the containers she was using as cover.  
"M-Miss Tokima! There are ammunition supplies among these crates! If he keeps shooting at them..." Bei said in a panic, having crouched down behind a different container nearby, along with several guards who weren't willing to throw their lives away to try and kill one of their most powerful leaders.  
_Braa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa!_  
_Ptwang! Tink! Dwang!_  
"What the hell is he DOING, anyway?" Alex shouted over the din of gunfire.  
Bei shook her head. "I-I don't know! He just stopped and stared at my iPod for a minute, and then he went berserk!"  
"DESTROY ALL APPLE PRODUCTS! DEATH TO THE MACINTOSH! DEATH TO STEVEN JOBS! IGOV KILL!"  
_Braa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa!_  
"That DOES it!" Alex screamed as sparks bounced down into her hiding place. "We're getting you a new operating system!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma yawned and stretched as he dragged himself out of bed, getting ready to start the day anew.

For Ranma, mornings were not spent primarily to prepare for the day ahead, like most people, but rather, he used it as a time to reflect upon his life, how far it had come, and where it was going.  
As he took his shower, he remembered a time when he was rarely exposed to modern luxuries and conveniences. Growing up on the road and in the wilderness, to stumble across a dwelling with proper plumbing was rare. Most of his bathing had been done in rivers, ponds, and hot springs; he hadn't even SEEN a shower until he had attended junior high school. He had never owned an electric appliance until he was seventeen (it was a flashlight). To this day, he did not know how to drive a car, although having one of his own would have been as easy as filling out some department paperwork.  
As he got dressed, he thought about the novelty of having an entire property to himself. For someone who had either slept outside or managed to secure lodging at other people's homes, it had been a bit overwhelming to have an entire house just for him. He had never even really had his own room before he left his family, and carried all his worldly possessions on his back. Now he had a private home, a wardrobe, several furnished and largely unused rooms, and most importantly, a fully-stocked kitchen.  
As he entered his kitchen to eat breakfast, he noted that Hunter had dried blood on his beak and claws, and that there were a few shuriken scattered about the floor. With a bit of nostalgia, he remembered a time when all the people trying to kill him were psychotic losers with personal grudges and relatively colorful backstories, rather than nameless and largely expendable hired assassins.  
"Then again, there was that Wolf guy. I wonder what happened to him?" Ranma thought aloud as he picked up the throwing stars off his carpet.  
Hunter rose from where he had been sleeping and growled, which seemed to indicate to Ranma that either the pigtailed man was violating his personal space, or that he was hungry. Maybe both. Ranma never could quite figure the alien out, though it was usually a good bet that giving Hunter food would appease him.  
"That's something else I never had as a kid; a pet," Ranma mused. Though Hunter was hardly the kind of pet Ranma would have imagined having as a kid or as an adult, the alien certainly had his uses; besides eating assassins that attempted midnight infiltrations, the zergling also kept all other animals in a two hundred-foot radius at bay, which was important as both his neighbors apparently owned cats.  
Finally, as he toasted some bread and sat down to eat, he reflected upon his job, and his purpose in life as opposed to the meaninglessness of his first eighteen years. His entire childhood spent wandering the countryside, learning to fight for no purpose other than his father wanting him to learn. His whole life had been planned for him since before he was born, and frankly, it was a pretty rotten one; who would want, if given the choice, to spend their youth on the road, and then marry someone they've never met and then settle down as a martial arts master teaching from that woman's dojo in order to support your father? Ranma guessed that some people wouldn't mind, but a life like that wasn't for him. For one thing, it was pretty hard to make a living teaching martial arts nowadays, and most of the students people took on were teenagers looking for something to do after school, not serious fighters like him or even Akane.  
No, teaching martial arts was not Ranma's passion. And while he certainly didn't mind teaching people to defend themselves, it occurred to him that since he had spent so much of his life in training, it'd make that time spent far more meaningful if he did the defending for other people instead.  
Life as a DAPC officer wasn't quite what he thought he'd be doing as a career, but it worked out well; it was far from stagnant, he fought for the greater good (most of the time), and it paid well enough that he could've lived comfortably while supporting his parents, had they not abandoned him for rejecting the path they chose.  
Finishing off a glass of orange juice, Ranma got up and removed his jacket from the closet.  
"Well, enough long-winded introspection. Time to go to work."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So you're completely better now?" Ranma asked Kyle as the blond man drove him, Sakura, and Hunter down to HQ. "No voices, no homicidal urges, no headaches, no nothing?"  
Kyle nodded happily, keeping his eyes on the road. "Yup! I've never felt better! That was way easier than I thought it was going to be!"  
"Yeah, it was," Ranma murmured. "In some circles, they'd call that a 'cop-out'."  
Sakura, who was in the back seat stroking Hunter's head as it lay in her lap (his body taking up the entire rest of the back seat, and still looking squished) looked worriedly at her brother. "Are you sure you can't remember what they did to you back there? What if there was something else?" Considering the fact that her brother had been genetically altered into a superhuman, Sakura was of the opinion that she was being very open-minded and rational about this most recent turn of events.  
Had Ranma given the prospect any thought, he would have mentioned that with all the monsters and mutants they faced on a regular basis, and what with accepting a killer alien as a pet, Sakura would have to have a lot of nerve to reject her own brother because he suddenly turned super-strong. But nobody asked him.  
Kyle sighed. "You know, I do remember SOMETHING... there was this little guy who was always around, talking to me. He's probably the guy who did the getenic configuring, or whatever it was. Can't remember his name, though..." He shrugged as he turned into the parking lot. "Not much else other than that. Though it can't be all bad; this super-strength is awesome! Watch!"  
Without hesitating long enough for anyone in the car to warn him that whatever he was about to do was probably phenomenally stupid, Kyle gripped the steering wheel and tore it from its base, causing the entire dashboard to shake as it was partially torn apart. Then, as Sakura and Ranma paled, he began to twist the padded aluminum wheel like one might a hose, trying to make it into a fun shape to entertain his co-workers.  
"Uh... K-Kyle... s-s-steering... gone..." Sakura said weakly, noting that he had not yet taken his foot off the gas pedal, and that he was no longer paying strict attention to where the vehicle was heading.  
Ranma, naturally, was ready for action rather than words, and hoped that Kyle's new mutations were as impressive as he claimed while the pigtailed cop reached back, tore Sakura out her seat, and then opened his door and leapt out, clearing the vehicle just about the time that Kyle had figured out what he'd done.  
_WHAM! CRRRRUNCH!_

"This... is not the way to start my day," Ranma groused, lying on his back as Sakura clutched him in terror, paralyzed.  
A stray tire rolled across the lot away from the wreck, and Ranma found himself tracking its progress across the lot, possibly as a distraction to keep him from looking back at the crash.  
Then someone's leg lashed out and kicked it over, knocking the tire onto its side and stopping it in its tracks.  
"Hi Snake," Ranma said, trying to get up with Sakura still attached. "How are you this fine morning?"  
"Better'n you, it looks like," the Lieutenant said casually, his hands in his pockets. Then he turned toward the wreck. "HEY COMMANDER! YOU OKAY?"  
There was a loud grunting sound, followed by a the shrill sounds of metal twisting as the huge wad of crumpled steel shook. "Ugh! Y-Yeah... I think I'm okay... Ow!"  
A much louder and angrier grunting sound came from the wreck a moment later, and several sharp pieces of metal suddenly exploded outward as Hunter tore himself free of the accident, his body writhing through the crushed vehicle as his claws tore at the small opening afforded to him.

"Eh, they'll be okay," Snake said dismissively, helping Ranma and Sakura off the ground.  
Ranma went to work prying Sakura off of him as he observed the crash site. "Huh... Kyle didn't run into the wall or anything... uh-oh. He hit another car, didn't he? Who's was it?"  
"Guess," Snake deadpanned. "Don't be hasty, now. Stop and think: who usually ends up paying for our mistakes and incompetence?"  
Ranma sighed as Sakura finally gained the presence of mind to let go of him. "The Captain is gonna be SO pissed."  
Snake snorted. "Yeah, well her problems can wait. Tell me, have you noticed anything... oh, I dunno, DIFFERENT about HQ today?"  
The pigtailed cop winced as a familiar sense of dread overcame him. Then he slowly looked up at the tall structure that was his place of work, making sure to take note of any minor details that one might have ordinarily missed.  
Immediately he discarded the whole "minor detail" idea. This was FAR outside of that scope.  
"Okay... where to begin..." Ranma murmured uneasily. "The glass double-doors in front have been replaced by iron ones. The windows have all been boarded up. There are little antennae extending from several of those windows. There's a large spire at the top of the tower, and I think someone installed a bigger missile launcher. There's a dark, malevolent cloud overhead that doesn't seem to be moving with the rest of the clouds in the sky..."  
"Yeah, okay, whatever," Snake interrupted before Ranma could continue, "I wasn't talking about all that. Look! Somebody replaced my 'violators will be torched' sign!"  
"And then there's that," Ranma said, rolling his eyes.  
"NOW how am I supposed to explain lighting a person's car on fire because they parked in someone else's space? They won't have any kind of warning!"  
"I don't see why it matters; that's never stopped you before," Kyle noted, slowly limping up to his friends from the still-smoldering car wreck.  
"Not the point! And what's this they replaced it with? 'Henchman parking only'? 'Minion parking'? And 'Handicapped henchman parking only'? We don't even HAVE any disabled people working here!"  
"It's still kind of a nice gesture. The henchmen will feel better knowing that they'll be taken care of if the unthinkable happens," Sakura rationalized.  
Ranma twitched. "I think the greater issue here is that someone turned headquarters into their own personal fortress. Not only that, but they did all this overnight. I mean, this place reminds me of Dr. Deth's castle."  
"Well, I think we've solved the mystery of who did this, at least," Kyle said proudly, as if having noticed the large bronze tablet hung alongside the door was a product of truly brilliant detective work on his part.  
Dark stronghold of Doctor Seras Tuko, evil genius. Trespassers will be used as guinea pigs for mad experiments. Thank you for not smoking. Read the blocky, raised print.  
"I don't know about you, but I personally have many objections to this turn of events," Ranma said grimly, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"Totally. For one thing, Tuko never graduated, so he is NOT a doctor," Kyle said firmly, wagging his index finger in the air.  
"Once again Commander, you manage to grasp aspects of the situation that wouldn't even occur to others," Snake deadpanned.  
"Thanks!" Kyle said, beaming.  
"That wasn't a compliment."  
"Awww..."  
Steeling himself, Ranma grabbed the ornate brass ring that had replaced the simple door handle, and then opened the heavy, reinforced double doors, causing a deep and disturbing groaning noise to emanate from the hinges.  
Snake sweatdropped. The doors had been installed overnight and they were rusted already?  
"Are you sure we should just barge in here like this?" Sakura said, looking worried. "I mean, it is Seras, and he wouldn't hurt us intentionally, but it still might be dangerous in there."  
Snake grinned and gave the blonde woman a thumbs-up. "Don't worry about it. You've got the three toughest guys in our department by your side. We'll wrap this up without a problem."

Ranma took the lead as they entered the building, and he slowly crept forward as he scanned the area for traps, being somewhat experienced with the mad scientist architectural scheme.  
He grimaced. Where there had been full lighting and clean walls the night before, there were now ornate, half-broken chandeliers, and the wallpaper was water-damaged and moldy with the occasional large bloodstain. The furniture was still there, but it was now dusty and much of it had large cobwebs that stretched to the ceiling.  
"What the hell? How'd he do this to this room? Did he actually paint water damage on the walls?" Snake said disbelievingly.  
Sakura scratched at one of the dark patches. "Uh-huh. Looks like it. The bloodstains too, I think. It's way too bright a red. And the dust is all sawdust."  
Kyle shrugged. "Well, you have to give him credit for trying."  
"No, Kyle. No, I don't," Snake said sharply.  
Just then, a small bullhorn speaker descended from a spot on the ceiling, and Ranma, Snake and Kyle all directed their attention to it, hoping for an extended explanation for this turn of events.  
_Welcome, foolish intruders!_ The speaker blared, the voice obviously belonging to Seras, but possessing a cruel and manic edge that nobody present would have attributed to him normally. _I imagine you must be very confused as to what's going on here! Let me assure you that the full scope of recent events are beyond your pitiable abilities of comprehension, and that I shall translate these happenings into terms you can easily understand!_  
"Thank you! I appreciate it!" Kyle shouted honestly, causing Ranma and Snake to sweatdrop.  
Oddly enough, a sweatdrop appeared on the speaker as well. _Ah... right. Anyway, the short of it is: **I, Doctor Seras Tuko**, am now in complete control of this facility and its resources!_  
"Uh, hello? You never finished school," Kyle said to the speaker. "So, you know, you're NOT a doctor."  
_Bzzrt!_ A sharp electric noise sounded from above, and all the police officers looked up to see a small metal rod descend from the ceiling space directly adjacent from the entrance.  
_BRRRZZZZK!_ "BLGFFHDRRRLGLLASSIPOFFFG!"  
Without further warning, a blue electric beam connected with Kyle, sending high-amperage electricity coursing through his body.  
_Thud!_ The blond man fell to the floor twitching, smoke rising from his clothes and hair.  
"Oh no! Kyle!" Sakura rushed to the aid of her brother as the voice from the speaker cleared its throat.  
"So much for not doing us deliberate harm," Ranma mumbled, eyeing the rod and trying to figure out the best way to disable it.  
_Now, as I was saying... all intruders will be, as mentioned on the sign, used for my experiments. Of course, if you provide undue resistance and I'm forced to kill you, that would compromise the progress of said experiments. Frankly, that really doesn't work out for anyone, so-_  
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Snake said, stepping closer to the speaker and coincidentally putting Ranma between him and the entrance, "we're not intruders. We WORK here. Look, whatever you want to do on your own time is your own business, but this is a public facility that we need to provide a public service. Now stop screwing around already, Tuko."  
_Ha! As big a fan as I am of government-sponsored murder, I've found that this structure fits my needs perfectly! As for your "employment", well, if you wish, you may join me as my personal henchmen alongside Yamma! Otherwise, you may consider yourself "downsized"._  
Ranma growled and was about to retort with a scathing monologue, when something about Seras' offer struck him.  
"Wait... who's Yamma? You hired a new guy last night?"  
A distant crashing noise came from the speaker, and a few unintelligible, outraged shouts could be heard in the background.  
_No! Not now! Get away from-I don't CARE! Get back to work!_ A tired sigh came from the speaker. _Don't worry about Yamma. My point is; join me of your own free will, or I will take you by force. Answer?_  
_Blam!_ A bullet ripped through the base of the beam projector, and Snake grinned as smoke wafted from the mouth of his pistol. "There's your answer, 'Doc'. Next bullet's all for you." Ranma nodded seriously as his aura began to glow around him, and Kyle frowned deeply as Sakura helped him to his feet.  
_Ha ha ha ha ha! You simple-minded barbarian! Do you think there's any force of evil in the world more prepared than I to deal with the likes of you? I know you all! Your strengths! Your weaknesses! Your unreasonably quirky and defective personalities! I've prepared for every possibility! Every contingency! For example, I've disabled all the remote bombs in the HQ's foundation._  
_Click! Click!_ Ranma and Kyle turned to look at Snake, who frowned deeply as he pressed the button on a remote detonator without result.  
"THAT was your first idea for dealing with this? Blowing up the station?" Ranma asked, anxious but not really surprised.  
"Second idea," Snake corrected. "First was destroying that electric shocker thingy."  
_You have no hope! No recourse! No choice at all!_  
"I do have a question, though," Sakura said, gently running her hand over one of the strings of cobwebs that decorated the furniture, "this is Halloween cotton webbing, right? Did you seriously track down a Halloween surplus store at this time of year and then spend last night mucking up this room?"  
The speaker was silent for several moments. _YOUR tortuous end will be especially slow. Now shut up and fall._

_G-Chnk!_ At once the floor seemed to collapse inward, and Snake and Kyle immediately plummeted below, shouting out in surprise.  
Ranma, having much better reflexes, managed to rebound off of the falling floor section, pushing off with just enough force to make it to the edge left by the trap floor.  
Unfortunately, as it so happened, a screaming blonde comrade happened to be right in the arc of his jump, and his normal instincts for being manly and heroic when it really wasn't a good idea kicked in as usual.  
As Ranma's arms pressed Sakura's shocked body to him, the pigtailed martial artist found gravity's pull far more compelling, and he quickly went over his options mentally.  
'Let's see... 1) Fall to my doom with Sakura... or... 2) Fall to my doom as I throw Sakura to safety. Yeah. Some choice. Stupid heroic instincts.'  
With that last thought, and his airborne momentum fading, Ranma repositioned the woman in his arms, and as she shouted in surprise, launched her away.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ow... son of a..." Snake growled to himself as he pushed himself off of the mattress he had fallen on, the metal springs not having done a perfect job of cushioning such a long fall.  
'What the hell happened? The floor fell out, and then it felt like I was in some sort of slide... and...' Snake shook his head to try and clear it, and hopefully get his eyes to adjust better so that he could take a look around.  
After a moment, Snake realized there was nothing for his eyes to adjust to; what he had thought was simply a result of his disorientation was more a result of the room being pitch black and totally enclosed.  
"Okay, so now what?" He said, guessing that Seras had probably wired these rooms so that he could communicate with the prisoners. "That fall wasn't nearly long enough to knock me out, and I'm still armed, smart guy! What're you gonna do now?" Smirking in the dark, Snake withdrew his pistol and quickly swapped out the slightly used clip with a fresh one, easily and quickly completing the procedure in complete darkness, and placing the used clip back onto his belt for later use.  
_Ha ha ha! Don't think me such a fool; any attempt to apprehend you by force could only lead to the brutal destruction of my servants. I intend to disarm your mind, not your body._  
Snake raised an eyebrow. "'Disarm my mind'? I don't read much; you're gonna have to explain that metaphor to me."  
_Hmph. Fool. Your power is not in your weapon, but in the mind that readies the weapon. The mind familiar with its every operation. That knows how to position the hand to aim, knows the most effective damage area on a target. The mind that can remain calm and unyielding in its destructive intent without fear. Even here, in complete darkness, you could slay any aggressor I could send, could you not? Your mind is your weapon, Snake. The gun in your hand is just a tool; it is the arm that wields it that makes the warrior!_  
"You were way cooler when you were just a drunken loser," Snake deadpanned. "And you still haven't explained how a dark room is going to keep me from killing you."  
_Simple. I'm just going to light it up a bit._  
_Chng!_ A loud noise heralded the activation of a spotlight on the ceiling, and Snake blinked in surprise as a single beam of light splashed onto the wall he was facing, exposing a single spot about the height of a man in diameter.  
Once his eyes adjusted, Snake twitched. On the wall, illuminated by the spotlight, was a familiar-looking poster. On it was the traditional caricature depicting Uncle Sam, except that the figure had a bandage over one eye and one arm in a sling. On the bottom of the poster was the catch-phrase "I want out".  
Snorting, the Lieutenant walked up to the wall and tore the poster down. "HELLO! That war is way over! Is this your big 'mind disarmament'? Pansy-ass liberal propaganda? You gonna sing me an anti-war song, Tuko?"  
_And what if I am?_  
That stopped Snake in his tracks. "What? Wait... you wouldn't... I mean, there's no way you believe all this, right?"  
_No one wins in war, Snake._  
"Oh sure, a Jap WOULD say that to an American!" Snake snapped back.  
_Oh-ho! Touche! But I'm not done yet!_  
The spotlight moved, and Snake flinched as it slowly scanned the length of the wall, revealing more American anti-war posters from every era; there were older ones from the Korean and Vietnam wars, and newer ones proclaiming "No war for oil!" and "Stop the Bush regime!"  
_Fight the rich, not their wars!_  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" The American screamed, raising his pistol to the ceiling.  
_Blam!_ Glass exploded from the spotlight as Snake put a bullet in the bulb, and the room was once again consumed in darkness.  
_You can't hug your family with nuclear arms!_  
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP, I SAID!"  
A song started up in the background, and Snake stumbled slightly as he recognized the beginning of a Dixie Chicks song.  
"ANTI-WAR PEACEMONGERING HARLOTS! I DESTROY YOU!"  
_Blam! Blam! Blam!_ Snake began to fire around the room wildly, his senses quickly deteriorating.  
_Save a child; scrap a gun!_  
"GWOOOARGH!" Snake's vision, previously a flat black, suddenly exploded into unique and unnatural colors as he felt himself start to hyperventilate, his heart pounding with bloodlust urging to be released.  
_And now for our in-torture movie! A film masterpiece by esteemed political peon Micheal Moore! Please enjoy "Bowling for Columbine"!_  
Snake's eyes widened as he heard the sound of a projector heat up, its shrill whine piercing his ears through the sound of one of the Dixie Chick's hit singles.  
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Okay, look, I don't have a lot of time here, so let's make it quick, okay? I really don't want to have to exercise my vast intellectual prowess against you. It's just wrong. It's like killing a baby seal. While it's asleep. With a rocket launcher._  
Kyle frowned. "Seras, why'd you turn evil, anyway?"  
The voice sighed. _Tekai, get a clue. Most of us are evil in our own ways; we just have various methods of sating those sinful thirsts long enough to accomplish something productive. I mean, Snake has his uncompromising bloodlust, the Captain is an abusive, power-mongering control freak, Saotome is an egotistical simpleton, Yamazaki... well, we all know what his problem is._  
"Huh... so what about me?" Kyle asked curiously.  
_Although stupidity isn't normally considered an evil, yours is of such magnitude that it takes on a diabolical force all its own. In a bizarre dichotomy, your sister is relatively booksmart, but inept to the point that she's more an iron weight for us to drag around with us than any kind of asset._  
"..." Kyle cocked his head to one side. "You lost me at the word 'magnitude'."  
_Okay, fine. You asked for this..._ A deep breath came from the speaker. _Two trains leave Tokyo and head toward Nagasaki._  
"GYAH!" Kyle flinched backward, as if struck, and clamped his hands over his ears. "No! Not a word problem! My only weakness!"  
There was a moment of silence from the speaker. _Okay, that is SO not your "only" weakness. Anyway, one train leaves at two o'clock PM and proceeds at a constant speed of fifty-five kilometers per hour._  
"Please! Have mercy!" Kyle begged, crawling around in the pitch-black room looking for escape. "How about giving me an English problem instead? I can do English! Please!"  
_The second train leaves at three o'clock, but proceeds at a speed of seventy kilometers per hour..._  
"Can't... take... much more..." the blond superhuman said weakly, slumping against the wall as he slipped into delirium. "Too hard... need paper... pencils down already? No..."  
_Assuming both trains take a straight line right to Nagasaki, which train arrives first? Remember to show your work!_  
_Thud! _Kyle's unconscious body fell sideways onto the floor, little spirals replacing the blond man's eyes.  
_... Seriously now, that was just awful. I feel dirty..._  
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Ranma concentrated deeply as his aura built around him, generating a luminescent glow that bathed the room he had fallen into in a low light.  
Looking around, Ranma could see he was in some sort of subterranean tunnel, the walls of which were built of algae-stained cobbled stone to give that classic "Castle Wolfenstein" feel. Upon a moment's inspection, Ranma identified the algae as a Mountain Dew solution with an unusual concentration of colored syrup.  
_Ah, Saotome. Sorry I was so long in getting to you. Your comrades' weaknesses aren't so... straightforward as yours._  
The pigtailed man frowned, and started through the tunnel. "Okay, so what's the deal? What are you after?"  
_After? I'm after power. Of course, getting power can be... complicated. You might have to do things that aren't exactly... what's the word... "ethical". You might have to hurt people that don't really deserve it. But the end justifies the means. Or, in this case, your end will BE my means._  
"Yeah, whatever," Ranma continued on his way through the tunnel, not deigning to argue with the DA's newest antagonist.  
_Ah, indifference. No doubt you think your skills can measure up to my intellect. You think you can take whatever I can dish out. But I'm afraid I don't play that game, Saotome._  
Ranma frowned as he reached the end of the tunnel, seeing a heavy iron grate before him in the dim light of his battle aura.  
_I don't play on your field. I don't play fair. I find your weakness, and I exploit it from outside of arm's reach. You cannot oppose me._  
Ranma halted as he approached the grate. "My... weakness?" He stared up at one of the wall speakers uncertainly. "So... you mean my clueless, unassuming attitude toward women, right?"  
_Oh, yeah. Sure. I'm going to flood that tunnel with amorous females, and make you ignore them until you're unconscious. Moron._  
Ranma twitched as he heard a soft, vaguely familiar sound from deep within the tunnel beyond the grate. "You... but... h-how did you find out?" He asked, grimacing as he stepped away from the iron grate.  
_You fool! Didn't I just tell you that I don't play fair? You think the only resources available to me are the department profiles? You underestimate your fame, Saotome. It didn't take great effort on my part to find all the meaty little details of your life. And while most of it was entertaining but ultimately useless rubbish, I did manage to find a tidbit concerning an obscure and entirely idiotic martial arts technique that has a history of extreme psychological damage..._  
Ranma began to back away slowly as the noises, now identifiable as the mewing of cats, got closer to the iron barrier separating him from the feline horrors beyond.  
_And what a weakness! Perhaps not as... characteristic as that of our good Lieutenants, but no less unusual._  
"Are you also aware that the technique turns me into an invincible fighter when I get cornered?" Ranma asked desperately, having turned away from the grate completely and started walking down the tunnel in the opposite direction.  
_Yes, I am. A definite risk, but one that's worth taking. Seeing this... Neko-ken in action would itself be worth the effort I've put into your capture._  
"You're crazy!" Ranma shouted, increasing his pace as he heard the scraping sound of the grate opening behind him. "You're just digging yourself into a deeper hole, Seras!"  
_Heh. We'll see, Saotome._  
"Meow! Rowr!"  
Ranma froze up as he saw a mouse dart through his legs, and paled as he realized what was coming next. "Oh, crap..."  
"MROWR!" Ranma's concentration broke as the first of the cats emerged from the shadows, running full tilt into the curious source of light that had stopped in the middle of the underground tunnel. With his concentration gone, his aura too disappeared, and his hair stood on end as the area was consumed by darkness.  
Not being able to see his feline antagonists didn't save the pigtailed man, as he felt dozens of warm, furry bodies rubbing against his legs and feet, a horrifying sensation that brought home the terror of the constant feline mewling.  
In response, Ranma did what he always did when faced with horrors beyond man's most terrifying nightmares (and some pet shop commercials). He screamed and ran.

When Ranma brought his full speed to bear - not just his sprinting speed, or running-on-water speed, but his full-blown "there's something behind me that I don't want to deal with, and I'm the freaking hero here" speed - there were few things that could stop him; he'd plow down nearly anything in his way, and anything that refused or was unable to evacuate in time was a regrettable casualty of his panic. People, super-humans, large animals, demons, and motor vehicles alike were pounded flat beneath his feet.  
Stone walls were not among those disposable obstacles.  
_Wow... that's a deep impact crater.._. Seras said through the speaker, mostly to himself. _And with, what, three feet of ground for acceleration? Huh. Oh well, time to get to work..._  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rayden fumed silently as he turned on the television, sitting on top of his coat on top of Junko's couch (he was unwilling to expose himself to whatever bodily fluids had no doubt ended up drying over the cushions).  
Another day had passed with no luck in finding his weapons. It had gotten so bad that the Catholic gunman was seriously considering leaving his cache of guns and explosives at this point, though that wasn't a decision he would make lightly. Most of his weapons were either relatively common in the black markets or home-made, but Judgment, his main and ultimate weapon, was completely unique; an artifact among guns that had been with him since his early days of vengeful murder.  
First he had to make a final attempt at convincing the lecherous redheaded woman to return his guns and leave him alone. He honestly had no idea what, exactly, she was trying to accomplish by keeping him at her home and questioning him incessantly about his habits, personality, and past. At first he thought she was trying to extract information to incriminate or distract him, but after some thought that didn't seem feasible; he already had enough of a record that he could be arrested and executed without any trouble, and she had kept him at her property long enough to have the entire police and internal military forces of Tokyo surround him. He theorized that perhaps she was trying to dig into his past to try and convince him that his actions were wrong, and to get him to abandon his crusade against evil, but she had offered no criticism of his murderous actions, and after meeting Snake, Rayden had a hunch that he wasn't the worst gun-toting maniac that she had learned to tolerate.  
The super-soldier snorted as he flipped through the channels, skipping as fast as possible through the large collection of pornographic channels that his host kept on her cable programming in order to get to the news stations.  
"Ohmygosh! I am SO late!" Junko shouted from her bedroom.  
Rayden ignored the exclamation, as well as the loud ruckus that followed as Junko tumbled out of bed and burst out of her room, completely naked, before turning and entering the bathroom.  
The Russian didn't even turn to look when a bedraggled-looking man stumbled out of the bedroom as well, having at least put on boxers first.  
"Junko, what's the big hurry? I thought we might have breakfast together!" The man shouted, not being familiar enough with the apartment to know exactly where his date had gone.  
"No time!" The redhead shouted back from within the bathroom. "Captain's gonna have my hide if I'm more than an hour late! Geez! If we'd just skipped the movie and gone straight here after dinner like I'd suggested, this wouldn't have happened!"  
"Uh... well, I just thought..." the man trailed off, and he paled slightly as he finally noticed that there was a third individual in their midst. Sitting on the couch, obviously ignoring the exchange, the Russian didn't seem like an imminent threat, but on the other hand, the foreigner was very, very big, and heavily muscled enough that he looked like he could have snapped the newcomer in two (and he could have. With one hand).  
"Uhhh..." droplets of sweat began to collect on the man's brow. "Erm... g-good morning..."  
"Huhn," Rayden grunted, not being in a good enough mood to feign basic universal politeness. He still had not turned away from the television.  
'Okay... he has to know I slept with Junko... so he's probably not a boyfriend or anything... he doesn't look anything like Junko, so relative is out... probably a roommate, right?'  
"So... we haven't been introduced!" The man said cheerfully, stepping forward with an arm stretched out for a handshake.  
"And if you value your well-being, then you will take pains to keep it that way," Rayden said acidly, still facing the television set as a reporter talked about city-wide reductions in crime in Tokyo. "I've no interest in the affairs of whores. Do not speak to me again, or I shall harm you."  
The threats were delivered in a perfectly cold monotone, and Junko's escort of the night found his hair standing on end as his body stood stiff, paralyzed.  
'All righty then... so Junko lives with a very violent, very scary man. I **knew** she was too good to be true.'  
"Dang! I am soooooo gonna get it!" Junko complained, emerging from the bathroom fully dressed and with her makeup applied (apparently the current emergency was a common enough occurrence that she kept a change of clothes in there). "I've gotta go! Ray-kun, lock the door after that guy leaves, okay?"  
A vein popped up on Rayden's head. "Do NOT address me as 'Ray-kun'." He said dangerously.  
Junko stopped, then fingered her lip in consideration. "Hmmm... actually, maybe you should come with me to work! It would probably help if you met the Captain directly!"  
"I've no time for your madness, woman," the Russian said in his usual cold monotone, paying rapt attention to the current news story.  
"Uh, Junko, I was kind of hoping we could spend the day together today," the boxer-clad man said, inching away from the couch. "Is it possible you could take a day off work?"  
The redhead raised an eyebrow, as if the idea was completely alien to her. "Spend time... together? Uh..." then she sighed and shook her head before walking up to her latest boy-toy and taking his hands gently. "Look... um... Tom, was it?"  
"My name is Yamada," the man said weakly.  
"Right, right. I knew there was an 'M' in there somewhere. Anyway, Yamada, you're a great guy and all, and keeping me up for three hours was pretty impressive, even if I'm paying for it now. But to be completely honest, I'm really not all that interested in you."  
Yamada flinched, as if struck. "B-But... I... last night! I mean, when you-"  
"Yes, I know, and you're welcome," Junko said soothingly. Behind her, Rayden twitched, and turned up the volume on the TV. "But it doesn't MEAN anything. I'm just affectionate like that. I really don't have any desire to spend more time with you."  
"Oh, come on! You can't just dump me like that! Give me another chance! Let me take you out again!" The man insisted, frowning.  
Junko sighed and let go of him, shaking her head. "Y'know, I'd really hoped it wouldn't come to this. Oh well."  
Then she turned around and hugged Rayden from behind. "Ray-kun, could you do me a favor and make the obnoxious man leave?"  
The Russian's face darkened, and the room temperature seemed to drop several degrees all at once.  
In response, Junko nuzzled Rayden's ear warmly.  
Slowly, as if animated by some outside force rather than his own muscles, Rayden gently pried Junko's arms off of him, and then slowly rose and turned toward his host's unwelcome guest.  
Yamada shivered as the larger man approached, though it was hard to say whether it was from fear or from the sudden cold (he was still wearing only boxers). "W-Wait! Hold on! I thought you didn't even like her!"  
"I don't," Rayden said coldly, still approaching at the same pace. "But at the moment, I have a need to hurt someone. You happen to be my first choice."  
Darting forward suddenly, the Russian super-soldier grabbed hold of the terrified man's arm, and then lifted him straight off the floor, leaving his bare feet dangling wildly a foot above the carpet.  
"Lord, forgive me my sin of wrath," Rayden suddenly intoned, holding his free hand over his heart, "and allow me to grant redemption for this sin of lust." Then he stopped for a moment, though he ignored the helpless man's pleading for mercy. "Though I'm afraid that the magnitude of such sin that presides in this abode is far beyond my abilities to purge."  
Junko's eyebrow twitched. "Yeah, yeah. Blah blah blah, amen. Would you get rid of him already?"  
"Wait! I'll leave peacefully! Please don't-GWAAIYAHRAGHOOWOOG!"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Junko shook her head as she drove closer to the DAPC station, and once again snickered at Rayden as he brooded silently in the passenger's seat with his arms crossed over his chest.  
"It wouldn't kill you to be cheerful every once in a while, you know. You've always got the same grumpy 'screw with me and I'll punch a hole right through your favorite organ' look on your face. It's kind of a downer."  
Despite Rayden's best effort to keep himself from indulging Junko in the ridiculous conversation, he spat "It would not kill you to go a full twenty-four hours without having intercourse with a stranger."  
Junko frowned, considering the possibility of making a deal. "Hmmm... well, if I agreed to that, would you-"  
"NO," the Russian said firmly. "And you and I ARE strangers. I am in your company by your whim alone, not any will of mine."  
"See? It's stuff like that," Junko said sourly. "Why do you have to be so rude?"  
"Because I am angry, and find your company unpleasant and aggravating," the gunman said honestly, and without hesitation.  
"But it's so much fun teasing you!" Junko protested. "Why can't you just lighten up?"  
"Because I am your hostage, and being forced to suffer your inane company for no reason that you see fit to explain to me. The simple fact that I have not harmed you, and in fact put up with you at all, is testament to the value I place upon my weapons. And yet you keep them from me on a whim. There are not words to describe my hatred and disgust for you, and yet you continue to toy with me for purposes I do not understand or care about."  
Junko grimaced. "Aw, man. Look at that cloud up there. Do you think it might rain?"  
_Crunch!_ Rayden crushed the armrest in his grip, and a vein popped up on his head.  
'Think pure thoughts. Peaceful thoughts. Catholic thoughts. Death is reserved for murderers.'  
Then Junko squinted as she looked out the window. "Wait a minute... is that cloud hanging over HQ? The hell? When'd we get a microwave tower?" She frowned deeply as she turned the corner, coming into full view of her place of work. "Whoa... something is DEFINITELY not right here."  
"Does that mean I can leave?" Rayden deadpanned.  
"Can you be serious for a moment?" Junko snapped.  
The Russian stared at her stonily. She sweatdropped.  
"Okay, stupid question. Anyway, no. You're coming with me."  
"Why?"  
"Because despite your whining, you've been doing what I say up until now, so there's no point in stopping right when you might get to make yourself useful," Junko explained as she turned into the parking lot.

A look around the interior of the HQ lot didn't reveal much more about the situation, and Junko looked tense as she slowly crept up behind a smoldering car wreck that had taken place in one of the unmarked parking spots.  
"Geez, somebody did a number on this place... 'henchmen parking only'? Did someone change the rank titles around here?" She frowned deeply. "That's not good. 'Police henchwoman' won't sound good on a resume."  
"Don't flatter yourself; you clearly rank among the minions," Rayden said sourly, pointing toward the appropriate parking block.  
Junko blinked, shocked. "Did... oh my gosh... did you actually make a JOKE?"  
"No, I did not," the Russian said neutrally.  
"Oh..." Junko scowled. "Jerk."  
"That has to be one of the least offensive terms I've ever been described with," Rayden admitted, again without any trace of humor.  
About that time, Junko noticed Sakura sitting on one side of the stairs partition, apparently wringing her hands nervously while Hunter sat on his haunches next to her.  
"There's Tekai. And she looks like she has an inkling of what's going on here."

Sakura looked up as a car slowly rolled into a parking lot, and wiped away her drying tears as she stood up and hailed Junko's vehicle.  
"Junko, thank God you're here!" The blonde woman cried as Junko parked and then emerged from the driver's side. "Ranma, Kyle, and Snake are all gone! They've been captured!"  
"Wh-What?" Junko asked, freezing in her tracks. "That's crazy! How?" Capturing either Ranma or Snake should have taken a small army, a week of preparation, and a substantial quantity of either guts or brains. In addition, while she didn't know how effective Kyle was in combat now that he had undergone genetic mutation, her general impression was that his presence should have helped the two combat experts more than it hindered them.  
"Seras set a trap! He nearly got all of us!" Sakura sniffled, and Junko held her hand comfortingly. "Ranma barely managed to throw me to safety, but he was caught too! What are we gonna do?"  
"What? Seras did this? Why?"  
Sakura sniffled again. "I don't really know, but... uh..." she trailed off as she noticed a huge Russian man get out of Junko's car, his eyes locked on the headquarters building. "Uhm... Junko, who is this?" 'He looks kind of scary...'  
"Oh! You haven't been introduced!" Junko said cheerfully. "Sakura, this is Rayden Shikodan, a Russian vigilante. Ray-kun, this is Sakura Tekai, our field medic... technically."  
Despite being quite intimidated by the foreign man, Sakura separated from Junko and bowed politely. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Shikodan."  
"Why are we wasting time?" Rayden said to Junko, completely ignoring Sakura. "If your best officers have been captured, it is imperative we make haste rather than exchanging pleasantries."  
Sakura winced at the icy response. Hunter, who was standing behind her, picked up her unease and stepped forward, hissing menacingly.  
Rayden had noticed the creature before, and though he had naturally been quite curious as to what it was, had decided to tolerate its presence in the same manner as the women. Now that it seemed to have taken exception to him, however, he stared down at the clawed alien, raising an eyebrow.  
"Hunter, wait! He's on our side!" Junko said quickly, not wanting to see her new housemate eaten right when he was needed most.  
"Hmmm..." Rayden continued staring mutely at the zergling. Hunter growled back, and then snapped his beak fiercely, prompting Junko to flinch away and cover her eyes.  
Then the zergling slowly calmed, his growl trailing off as the alien lowered his claws and head.  
Junko and Sakura blinked as Rayden and Hunter simply stared at each other, neither one making a sound.  
"What's going on?" Sakura whispered.  
"I'm not sure..." Junko mumbled. "I think... I think they're sizing each other up."  
Eventually Hunter let out a sharp snort, and then turned back to Sakura, looking up at the blonde impatiently while waiting for orders.  
"Wow. Rare to see Hunter back down from a fight," Junko murmured, rubbing the back of her head.  
Rayden continued staring expressionlessly at the zergling. "Such an... unusual manner of beast you keep." Then he turned back toward the redhead. "Such creatures are empowered by fear. Fear denies faith. It cannot harm me."  
Both women sweatdropped. Sakura turned toward Junko and leaned in to whisper again.  
"Is he always like that?"  
"Yeah, kinda. He's a bit heavy-handed with the religion thing."  
Rayden stood stonily at attention, easily overhearing their conversation, but ignoring it. "As I said, we should act quickly. I require armaments."  
"Armaments? Like guns?" Sakura asked, fingering her lip. "Uh... well, we'd have to go in to get weapons from the armory. Which we can't really do... I don't carry any weapons off-duty."  
"Me neither," Junko said apologetically. "I mean, we're allowed to, but why would we? We never go anywhere dangerous. That's more Snake and the Captain's thing."  
'This is clearly penance for my sins of blood,' Rayden thought as he stared coldly at the two embarrassed police officers, 'that in a city experiencing more violence and danger than ever before, I stand with the most foolish and timid officers of the peace at my side.' "Captain Takami," the Russian said suddenly, "is she already captured, or can she assist us?"  
"W-Well, I'm not really sure," Sakura stuttered. "She should have been captured, though; she's always the first one here in the morning, and her car is here. Or was here, before Kyle ran into it. Same with Tycho, who usually drives Tiro to work."  
"Then there is no other option," Rayden murmured gloomily, though inwardly he was actually quite pleased. "You must relinquish my weapons if I am to take back this facility."  
Junko frowned, and her eyes narrowed. "Now wait just a minute! You're planning on just leaving as soon as you get your hands on your guns, aren't you?"  
"... Not anymore," Rayden responded stonily.  
"Junko, just give him his gear back!" Sakura insisted. "If he ditches us, we'll be no worse off than having him here without any weapons!"  
Rayden remained silent. In truth, he was quite an effective hand-to-hand fighter due to his genetically enhanced strength, but he wasn't about to mention such a thing when he was on the verge of recovering his guns.  
"Oh, fine!" The redhead finally agreed, though she looked very unhappy about it. "I'll give you your weapons back! But only if you promise not to leave until we've taken back HQ!"  
Rayden nodded. "I swear upon my lord and savior."  
"Fabulous," the redhead mumbled, obviously unhappy about the deal. "C'mon, get back in the car. It's a bit of a trip."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ugh... the hell?" Ranma mumbled, his vision blurry as he slowly regained consciousness.  
Once his throbbing head got reaccustomed to the idea of being awake, the pigtailed man immediately took stock of his situation; he seemed to be bound with chains that were shackled to his arms and ankles, and stretched out on a long metal table that was held up at an angle. The chains held his arms straight enough that he couldn't get enough leverage to break them. He was fully clothed, and didn't have any apparent injuries other than the self-inflicted concussion.  
"Okay... this isn't so bad. I've woken up to worse," Ranma rationalized, expanding his focus to his surroundings.  
He was being held in a large containment vault, with the walls made of solid, shiny steel, and several unidentifiable machines and monitors surrounding his accommodations.  
On his right was a large steel slab, exactly like the one he was lying on.  
On the steel slab was a body, **exactly** like the one he was currently inhabiting.  
"Fine. I've still woken up to worse," Ranma muttered, staring at the other, unconscious Ranma, "though this just made my top ten."  
"HSSSSSSS!"  
Looking down toward his feet, Ranma twitched as he saw a black, slithering form slide out from underneath his table. As the form rose up to look at him, the captured officer beheld a large, inproportionate mouth full of sharp, jagged teeth.  
"Okay, we're in the big five now," Ranma said as the creature started to slither up along his leg. "But this still isn't as bad as waking up cold and soaked next to Shampoo when she was trying to kill me with Akane standing over me. At least I'll get to die dry and male. That's really all I ever asked of life."  
"Ssssss..." the strange, monstrous worm worked its way up Ranma's torso, and then lifted its head up to face the pigtailed man.  
The beast opened its toothy maw, and Ranma heaved a miserable sigh as it lunged forward for his forehead.  
_ZAK!_ The worm glowed brightly for a moment as a lightning bolt suddenly struck it from behind with pinpoint accuracy, and Ranma winced as the entire creature disintegrated into ash right on his chest.  
"Ah! At last, you're awake!"  
Ranma turned his head back toward the vault entrance, and his eyes narrowed as Seras approached haughtily as he placed a small remote control in his pocket.  
"I see you've noticed your little friend there; no doubt you're quite curious as to what he is and what I intend to do with him."  
"The worm thing, or the... uh... the me?"  
Seras sweatdropped. "The copy on the table."  
Ranma shrugged as best he could while so tightly bound. "Eh, I could care less. What I'm more curious about is to how you built all of THIS," he jerked his head upward to indicate that he was referring to their immediate surroundings, "in a single night."  
"I didn't, really," Seras mumbled irritably, slightly hurt that Ranma found the out-of-place vault more interesting than his personal creation. "As I said, I'm privy to knowledge far beyond the feeble and carefully manipulated records of our networks. There's far more to the DAPC than you realize."  
Ranma blinked in surprise, but remained silent.  
"You see, our organization used to be much more than a simple collection of fools forsaken by our legislative patrons. So much more. Before the second World War, the DAPC, though it wasn't called that then, used to be a feared and respected secret enclave of government enforcers. Rather than seeking out hostile disturbances to quell them, these men and women sought out these unnatural things to **leash** them."  
Ranma nodded slowly. "Like what we did with Hunter?"  
"Uh... not quite, but close enough," Seras admitted. "This organization carefully isolated abnormal disturbances and captured them, and then experimented on them to create frightening weapons and horrific mutant warriors. And then they would test their creations on dissidents and officials who opposed them. Their forces struck chaotically, at times killing a single target with impossible efficiency and stealth, while other times they annihilated entire towns in brutal, sadistic bloodbaths."  
Seeing that Ranma was starting to look bored, Seras decided to skip the rest of his description of their techniques. "Anyhow, this mysterious organization had their base in Hiroshima, and consequently, was suddenly vaporized with most of their assets, records, and key personnel right before the end of the war. The new government, which the Americans forged into a proper democracy, knew it wouldn't have the centralized power necessary to control this group if it ever returned to its former glory, and gave it the axe, hunting down most of those involved and killing them."  
He gestured to the room around him. "When the number of abnormal disturbances warranted the establishment of the DAPC, someone thought it would be fitting to put the HQ here, where one of the old organization's primary holding facilities used to be. Of course, no one could know about these vaults, or questions would be raised, and demolishing reinforced metal structures would have cost too much and likewise raised questions. So they simply placed the foundation atop the underground tunnels and vaults, sealing them in concrete."  
"Why did the government care if we found out?" Ranma asked, "I mean, if this old DAPC is dead, what do I care if they wanted to get rid of it and gave us the leftovers?"  
"You poor, naive fool," Seras murmured, shaking his head. "Every government that isn't tyrannical enough to openly abuse the populace has quite a bit of dust swept under the rug. Ours more than most. Once you find a little bit of dust, one can't resist pulling up the rug a bit further."  
Ranma remained silent for a moment. "... That's a really lame metaphor."  
"Shut up. Are you ready to hear about your double on the other table, or what?"  
Ranma frowned. "Well, I can't sense any ki from him, so he's not a clone. I doubt you'd just dress up a mannequin that looks like me and put him there to make me THINK you're doing evil sciency stuff..." he considered that for a moment, "although that wouldn't be COMPLETELY out of line with the fake wear and tear you set up around here. Even so, I'm going to guess robot."  
Seras fixed the pigtailed man with a neutral expression. "I see. All right Mr. Smarty-Pants, was there anything else you'd like to divulge about my plans, since you know them so well?"  
Ranma thought about it for a moment. "Well, it's probably made to copy my abilities; otherwise you'd just have a robot who could pretend to be me, which is pretty useless since I'm nobody important. And given how you've tried really hard to stick with the evil scientist stereotype, you're probably going to do something really lame to make it act like me, like taking out my brain and putting it in the robot."  
"Ha! Not true!" Seras said, pointing at Ranma suddenly as he grinned. "I'm simply going to insert your head into a neural-net interface and transmit the data from your brain into the android's cybertronic neural network!"  
Ranma frowned, trying to root through the big words to get at the meaning. "Okay, so you're doing the electronic version of what I just said. Plus I get to keep my brain. Swell."  
Seras was silent for a long moment, his smile vanishing. "For someone completely at my mercy, you're being awfully rude."  
"Yeah, I'm told I have problems with that," Ranma said. "So, can we get on with the stupid brain transfer thing? I'm getting bored."  
Seras twitched, and then turned around, grumbling irritably.

Ranma watched as Seras shuffled over to the entrance, and remained silent as the apparently evil scientist hit a combination on the security keypad on the wall.  
A loud grinding noise echoed throughout the reinforced chamber, and the huge, circular vault door slowly rolled out of the way, allowing the DAPC's medical expert to walk through.  
The grinding noise returned as the vault door closed, but Ranma was no longer paying attention.  
'Heh. Arrogant jerk. Didn't even remember to block my view of the keypad.' Ranma grinned as he repeated the door code over and over in his head like a mantra, committing it to memory as he concentrated on building up his aura.  
'Okay... just a one little ki blast, and I'm outta here!' His aura began to build to the visible spectrum, his confidence in himself and his power becoming a physical force in and of itself.  
_BRAAAP! BRAAAP! BRAAAP! WARNING! KI FORCE DETECTED!_  
Ranma winced as his concentration shattered, and then blinked in surprise as he heard what the alarm was blaring.  
_PRISONER PACIFICATION UNDER WAY! SECURITY AUTHORIZATION LEVEL ALPHA INITIATED!_  
The pigtailed man winced as a rod popped out of the ceiling and lowered itself over him while generating arcs of electricity that arced around the weapon menacingly.  
"Ah, yes. I think I know what happens next," Ranma mumbled miserably.  
_BR-R-R-RZACK!_ "GYAH!"  
For a short period of time, the only sound in the room was Ranma's groans atop a whispered hissing noise from his sizzling flesh. Then the loudspeaker above activated.  
_Ah, I see you tried to escape while I was gone. That was fast._  
Ranma glared upward. "Where the hell did you get a ki detector?"  
_I didn't. It would seem this room was used once upon a time to hold experimental subjects who were able to project their... "life force," for lack of a better term, into a physical kinetic energy. Primarily, a group of warrior Chinamen called the Musk._  
"What, we didn't have enough weird crap here in Japan? We had to import some of it?" Ranma asked.  
_Okay, seriously. Knock it off or I'll kill you._  
_Vrrrrrr... _Ranma watched as a hatch opened up above his head, releasing a long mechanical arm with a rounded plate at the end. The arm slowly lowered itself toward his head, and Ranma frowned.  
"Have I mentioned you won't get away with this?" The pigtailed man said suddenly.  
To his surprise, the arm stopped.  
_Huh? Why not?_  
Ranma blinked. "Well... actually I was just saying it because I'm the hero and I'm supposed to say those kinds of things, but if you think about it you really are gonna regret this."  
_How am I going to regret it? What are you gonna do down there?_  
Ranma shrugged. "It's not necessarily me. You've also captured and pissed off Snake, Kyle, and Asuka. You're trying to run an evil laboratory in the middle of a city with military-grade police forces. And Sakura and Hunter escaped capture, and are probably trying to rescue the rest of us right now. There's all sorts of stuff that can go wrong, and all any of us need is just a moment of opportunity to escape and get to you."  
The speaker was silent for several moments. _That's an interesting analysis, but to me the odds still seem to be overwhelmingly in my favor._  
"They always do. I'm just saying, if you wanna play this mad doc thing to the end, you're going to lose. That's just the way it works. Remember that Deth guy? Totally got him. Blew up his whole castle, in fact."  
_You're just clinging to a futile hope._ The arm started to lowers itself again, slowly settling itself over the back of Ranma's head. _I control a veritable fortress with extensive defenses and a force of robots with all the skills and abilities of the most infamous band of destructive lunatics in Tokyo. And to top it all off, the only people in a position to stop me are a pair of weak, incompetent women and a single zergling._  
Sparks began coming from the dish placed against the back of Ranma's head, and he let out a strangled cry as he felt a needle suddenly stab into his skull.  
_Brrrrrrrzt!_ The device activated, and Ranma thrashed about helplessly as he was wracked by intense pain.  
_Yes, I really see no need to worry. I hold all the cards in my hand. What could possibly go wrong?_  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Ch-chak!_ Rayden pulled back the slide on Judgment's secondary ammo hold, and a long belt of .50 caliber ammo slid loose and fell to the hard concrete floor.  
"Wow... why do you have a storage garage, exactly?" Sakura asked, looking around the small garage interior. The area was littered with firearms and crates of ammo, along with an old, mostly wrecked police car on one side.  
"I don't, technically," Junko explained, arms crossed over her chest. "When the guys looted HQ after we were disbanded, they put most of our stuff here. Then they gave me a key so that I could root around the computer inventory they took. They never asked for it back, so I never gave it back."  
"Why are there so many weapons? These aren't ALL his, are they?"  
Junko shrugged. "Well, when we were reinstated, Snake mostly refurbished the armory with new gear. So even after taking some stuff for his... uh... cave, he had a lot of surplus. And even HE wouldn't go so far as to sell weapons on the criminal market."  
"I have all that I need," Rayden said suddenly, having listened to the two women's conversation but not really caring about the particulars of the cops' immoral private ventures. "Take weapons for yourself, and then we can depart."  
Junko sweatdropped, and bit her lip nervously. "Uh... yeah, about that... I'm really more of a 'cheerleader' than a 'player'. I was kind of hoping you'd do all the dangerous hurty stuff."  
Sakura nodded gravely. "And I tend to get in the way a lot less when I'm not trying to help. I think it's for the best that I not take a weapon."  
Rayden's eyes narrowed, and he took a forceful step forward, causing both women to flinch backward.  
"You will listen to me, now," he said coldly, his gray eyes boring into them, "I am not going on this venture into a dangerous, unknown enemy's territory on your behalf while the two of you remain behind in some armored haven awaiting the fruits of my bloody efforts. That I have not taken my weapons and left is testament to my adherence to my sacred vow. I do you no favors; you will arm yourselves, and you will follow me into battle."  
"O-O-O-Okay!" Sakura squeaked, latching onto Junko and trembling in fear.  
Junko, for her part, was apparently unfazed, and gently patted Sakura on the head with one hand while planting the other on her hip defiantly. "Don't get all bossy on us, mister! We're just girls, y'know!"  
"Your captain is 'just' a girl as well," Rayden replied stonily, "and a hardened soldier of paramount ability. Yutchzky himself would give much to have a man among his army with equal fortitude."  
"Hmph," Junko pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, fine. We'll go with you. But in our defense, odds are three to two that Cap's a lesbian."  
"I thought it was two to one?" Sakura asked, frowning.  
"Naw, she keeps sneaking glances at Saotome when she thinks we're not looking. Tiro's bi theory is gaining credibility."  
Rayden twitched. "Less inane chatter, more preparation."  
"All right! All right! Yeesh..."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_Achoo!_ Oy. Somebody must be talking about me," Asuka murmured, idly wiping her nose with her sleeve as she continued a close examination of the cell lock.  
Behind her, Tiro and Tycho stewed silently as they watched the captain's efforts, each one lost in thought.  
'What a gyp! Not only did we get captured and get copied into robots, but that jerk Seras had to put Tycho in here with me and Asuka!' Tiro groused, sneaking a quick glare over at the brooding driver. 'How am I supposed to instill hope and a deep emotional-and-eventually-sexual bond with her with this loser right in here with us?'  
Tiro averted his eyes away just in time to miss Tycho's glare at him.  
'What a drag! Not only did we get nabbed and experimented on by that nerd Tuko, but he had to shove Tiro in here with me and Asuka! How am I supposed to reassure and charm her with this dork in the same cage?'  
'A hostage situation completely wasted. This bites,' both men thought, both snorting irritably as they went back to staring at Asuka's backside.  
The bluette shook her head as she backed away from the lock. "No good. This thing can't be broken or picked without the proper tools. Actually, it probably couldn't be broken even **with** the proper tools. They made these locks to survive just about anything." She wiped her forehead as she looked around. The containment facility they were being held in was one of the lower-security ones, which simply meant that they were being kept in large electrified cages with thick, reinforced bars instead of actual armored (and in many cases, warded) vaults with their own security systems. Kyle was in one such vault, and the distant pounding noises that had informed them of his attempts at escape had ceased several minutes ago.  
"Well... don't worry Cap! I'm sure something will turn up!" Tiro said hesitantly.  
"Yeah! We'll get an opportunity to act! Or... Or someone will rescue us! I'm sure of it!" Tycho piped up, sneaking a hostile glance at Tiro as the lecher did the same to him.  
"Pipe down, you morons," Asuka mumbled as she rubbed her chin, causing both men to wince. "What I need now isn't optimism; I need ingenuity."  
"Well... uh..." Tiro scratched his head in confusion. "Ingenuity is sort of YOUR department, you know?"  
"I said pipe down," Asuka said sharply. "If Saotome, Snake, or even Kyle were in here, I could work something out." She grit her teeth. "This sucks! Not only did we get captured and robo-cloned by our own medical officer, but he had to room me with the two most useless morons in the squad. How am I supposed to work out a plan with you cretins for my support?"  
A vein popped up on Tiro's head. "Y'know, at least we had the courtesy to keep our rude thoughts to ourselves."  
"Besides, we're not all that bad," Tycho tried, "I mean, you could be stuck in here with Junko and Sakura instead."  
"Being stuck with two useless women is quite an improvement over two useless men," Asuka groused, well aware that her two cellmates had been staring at her constantly since their imprisonment.  
Tycho frowned, then turned toward Tiro. "I think your bisexual theory just took a hit," he whispered.  
_Thwack!_ Apparently he hadn't whispered quietly enough, and the driver clutched his stomach in agony after Asuka removed her boot from it.  
After giving a heated glare at the ponytailed man, she turned her attention toward her other subordinate. "Tell me, what is this 'bisexual theory' that you have about me?"  
Tiro rolled his eyes. "Look, we could spend all day going over the various incongruous rumors that me and Chikiko create about your sexual preferences, but really, your violent energy would be much better spent on getting us out of here."  
"You're absolutely right, and that just makes me want to hit you more," Asuka admitted, rolling back one sleeve as she balled that hand into a fist.

A sudden, heavy grinding noise halted the impending violence, and Asuka whirled around as the heavy, reinforced steel door that led to the main hallway slowly opened, allowing several men to enter the containment area.  
At least, they would seem to be men (and a woman) to any random pedestrian on the street. But seeing Tiro, Tycho and Asuka enter the room carrying a gagged and bound Snake between them hardly fooled Tiro, Tycho and Asuka.  
The robot Tiro put a card into the electronic lock, and then the heavy gate opened, allowing the others to toss Snake inside the cell.  
Snake writhed about violently, and somehow managed to loosen the gag enough to force it down under his chin. "You cybernetic bastards! You won't get away with this! I'll destroy you all!"  
Robot Asuka rolled her eyes. Robot Tiro and Robot Tycho flinched back; they possessed all the memories of their biological counterparts, and they knew what usually happened to those who angered the DA's weapons specialist.  
"You're not destroying anything from that side of those bars," Robot Snake said, chuckling as he entered the facility.  
The real Asuka groaned. "There's two of them. Dammit, I hate it when there's two of them.  
"A-Are you sure he's not hiding anymore explosives or anything?" Robot Tiro asked, backing away from the closing cell door nervously.  
"Yeah. We thought he was disarmed when he was on the table, but..." Robot Tycho trailed off weakly.  
Robot Snake waved it off. "Don't worry. I've got his memories; I know where I keep **everything**!"  
"Traitorous droid!" Snake yelled, sitting up, "Don't think you'll escape my wrath just because you're so awesome!"  
"Heh. No matter how unbelievably cool you are, you won't get away from us!" Robot Snake replied.  
The real Snake considered this. "Touche. It would seem you're truly the paragon of mastery and wit you appear to be."  
"I only have the utter perfection of the original to thank for that," Robot Snake said, grinning.  
"Can we move on with this, please?" Both Asukas said.  
After sharing a glare with the original, Robot Asuka shoved Snake away from cage. "Go back to Master Tuko for briefing! He'll have plenty of tasks that require your particular... skills."  
Robot Snake nodded and walked out of the vault door, and Robot Asuka tracked him the whole way, her eyes narrowed.  
"This was a bad idea," the cybernetic captain mumbled. "Making us exactly like the originals makes Robot Snake and Robot Kyle almost as dangerous to Master Tuko as the originals. More dangerous, actually, given that the originals are contained."  
The robotic woman noticed that her origin was looking at her, and she glared at her again. "What?"  
"It's... It's just so weird hearing common sense come from somebody other than me," the human bluette said, rubbing her chin.  
"Get used to it," the robot snapped, "there's a new captain in town, and she's-"  
"Subservient to the nerd that used to be the department drunk," Asuka interrupted, smirking.  
Robot Asuka stood frozen with her mouth open, and slowly her expression shifted into a glare. "You win this round, meatbag." Growling, she turned toward the other two robots. "Tiro! You guard the cells. With Snake in here extra security is necessary. Tycho, you're coming with me. Robot Ranma should be ready for operation soon, and he can help capture Tekai and Chikiko. Then we've got some OTHER work to do."  
The robot officers nodded obediently, and Robot Tiro stood rigidly by Snake's cage as Robot Tycho and Robot Asuka left the area.

Asuka's smirk slowly vanished, and she went back to stewing silently as she gazed at the DA's weapons officer in the cell across the walkway.  
"Pst! You can get us out of here now, right?" Tycho whispered, scooting up next to his captain. "I mean, with Snake in the room, you can make a plan like you said, right?"  
"Shut up!" Asuka hissed. "That's exactly what I'm trying to do! But it's still not easy! He's not in here with me, and security has tightened!"  
"Well, y'know..." Tiro scooted up closer to Asuka than Tycho was, and the driver's eyes widened as Tiro actually slipped his arm around her shoulders. "Maybe we can provide a 'distraction'. You know, give Robot Tiro a good show, and see what Snake comes up with? OW, MY HAND! TWISTINGHURTBONEBENDINGWRONGBAD!"  
Asuka tossed Tiro's arm away, and glared at Robot Tiro, who snickered. "God, is there ANYTHING that can take your mind off sex?" She asked the real Tiro, turning her head away as she squatted with her arms folded over her chest.  
Tiro whimpered as he massaged his arm gently. "Yeah... two things, actually. Old people and dogs."  
Tycho raised an eyebrow. "Dogs? Why dogs?"  
"I dunno." Tiro frowned. "There's just something about furry, slobbering canines that makes me want to pet them instead of the chick I'm with. Just thinking about a German shepherd or rottweiler makes little Tiro go soft."  
"Hey, stop talking about your privates for a minute," Asuka murmured quietly, marking the end of an unusually long silence for her.  
"Why? Finding out that Yamazaki likes dogs more than women is the most interesting thing we'll probably ever know about him," Tycho pointed out, turning back toward his lecherous friend. "So, do you molest the dogs, or-"  
"WHAT! No!" Tiro shouted, causing Robot Tiro to jump slightly in surprise. "They're just pets! What kind of sick animal do you take me for!"  
"I think it's pretty obvious what kind of sick-" _Wham!_  
Both men cried out and then mumbled curses as their heads were pushed together, causing their foreheads to impact each other painfully.  
"I SAID shut up, you cretins," Asuka hissed, stealing a glance at Robot Tiro, who was staring at them curiously. "I have a plan."

No kill count this time. Sorry.  
End Chapter 21


	22. Operating Error

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

I pledge allegiance,  
To this disclaimer,  
And my love for the work of Takahashi-sama.  
And to the anime,  
And the manga too,  
Which has action,  
Romantic comedy,  
N3kkid teenage girls,  
With laughter and fanservice for all.

Guardian  
Chapter 22  
Operating Error

Ranma awoke slowly, keeping his eyes squeezed shut tightly as he tried to regulate the pain in his head that had accompanied consciousness.  
'Ugh... what happened? Uh... okay... last thing I remember... Seras is evil and sober now. He knows about the neko-ken. He copied my mind into a robot Ranma. Hmmm...' Finished updating himself, Ranma slowly cracked an eye open.  
There wasn't much to see. The entire room he was in was a solid steel box, complete with a gigantic motorized vault door and only a small but equally solid-looking air vent to provide ventilation. Where the other room had several machines and hatches to allow for the equipment stationed there, the purpose of his current accommodations was obvious; it had been built to hold an individual and keep it from escaping indefinitely.  
Pushing himself up off the ground, Ranma noted with some satisfaction that his headache was fading rapidly; it was probably a minor side effect from the neural transfer.  
He walked over to the nearest wall and rapped on it with his knuckles, noting with a grimace that very little noise resulted from the impact, which indicated that whatever lay behind the wall of metal was of the solid and hard-packed nature.  
'Hmmm... so if all these vaults are made to keep certain kinds of freaks trapped, then there must be different kinds of vaults for different kinds of monsters.' Looking around at his cell, Ranma had to guess that it was constructed with the sole purpose of being able to withstand intense physical punishment and probably high energy levels. Beyond that, he didn't see any restraining mechanisms anywhere, nor were there any hatches to hide tazer turrets within.  
"Great. A ki blast could hardly put a dent in this," the pigtailed man noted sourly as he walked over the vault entrance and knocked on it.  
_Ah, you're awake! Very good!_  
Ranma growled as he heard Seras' voice coming from behind the ventilation grill. "You again? Don't you have to sleep or anything? You were up all night, weren't you?"  
_Hush.Your banter grates on my nerves. I just wanted to thank you for your assistance with my project, involuntary as it was. Your robotic double is everything I'd hoped he'd be... well... everything I'd expected he'd be, anyway._  
Ranma frowned at that. "What, he do something wrong?"  
_Let's just say that I'm considering a more strict command OS to control them. Your double follows orders; he has no choice, but the WHINING..._  
The pigtailed cop sweatdropped. He'd never been pegged as a whiner before. Just what was going on? "Yeah, so now what?"  
_Now... well, unfortunately for you, I don't really have a use for you anymore. So I think I'll just leave you in there to rot for now. Who knows, maybe I'll need you again for my next experiment!_  
Ranma twitched, a vein popping up on his head. "Okay, you SO asked for it. Get a welcome mat ready jackass, 'cause I'm coming for you."  
Unrestrained laughter came from the vent. _Wa ha ha ha ha! Hah hah hah hah! And just what are you going to do to get out, hm? Poke the door until it explodes? Bwa ha ha ha ha! Click!_ The laughter ended abruptly as the intercom was switched off.

Ranma raised a hand to stroke his chin thoughtfully. Then he turned and looked at the vault door.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seras turned away from his main control terminal and turned toward Robot Asuka, who was standing patiently behind him. "Okay then, now that we have our complete little army, we'll begin operations. Our first order of business is to secure more materials so that I can continue my weapons research. Once I can begin full-scale production of battle robots, I'll have enough power to take down Core, which will open the door to crushing Japan's central government. After that, it's only a matter of time until the entire world will bend knee to me, Doctor Seras Tuko!"  
"Yeah, that's great," Robot Asuka mumbled without a drop of enthusiasm. "I assume then that you won't be building robot copies of Sakura and Junko?"  
"Oh, of course I will! Because if there's one thing every robot combat force can't do without, it's a sex object and a klutzy medic," Seras spat sarcastically. "Neither really has its place in a cybernetic force, you see."  
"Yeah, okay. I get it. What about Hunter?"  
The sobered scientist actually stopped to consider this, then shook his head. "No, redesigning the neural transfer system would take too much time and energy; the zergling's brain is a very different organ from that which you and I have. I'll simply have the creature destroyed next time we find it."  
Robot Asuka sighed. 'Great. Another useful asset going to waste for the sake of this idiot's ambitions.' "So what are your orders, Master?"  
"Create a list of facilities to seize, then take Robots Ranma and Snake and-" _BRAAAP! BRAAAP!_  
Seras jerked in surprise as the warning klaxon interrupted him.  
_WARNING! VAULT 4 IN CONTAINMENT BLOCK A HAS BEEN BREACHED! AUTOMATED SECURITY DEFENSES ARE INADEQUATE FOR CONTAINMENT AREA PACIFICATION! FACILITY SECONDARY PACIFICATION PROTOCOLS OVERRIDEN! DANGER!_  
"What the blazes? That's Saotome's cell!" Seras quickly scooted his chair over to the main security terminal and looked at the security footage, growling as he noticed a huge, gaping hole where Ranma's vault door should have been. "How did he do that? It doesn't make sense! I mean, look at that hole!"  
Robot Asuka nodded quietly as she followed behind him and examined the crystal-clear image of the vault entrance from the outside. The remains of the door around the edge were jagged and twisted, while the materials that used to fill the hole Ranma had made were lying on the ground in small, fractured chunks.  
What was unusual, of course, was that there was no warping, melted sections, or charred portions. Nearly any source of kinetic energy strong enough to break the door should have involved an exothermic reaction hot enough to turn anyone inside the cell into a few lonely cinders. If he had somehow acquired the strength to tear through a reinforced vault door that should have held up to Rayden, Kyle, and three or four maulers all beating against it at once, then there wouldn't have been much rubble, and all of it would have been on the outside.  
"This is impossible! How did he blow up the vault?" Seras mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
Robot Asuka rolled her eyes. "Maybe he poked it." Upon seeing her master glare at her, she shrugged helplessly. "So what are the secondary pacification protocols, and why aren't they working?"  
Seras snorted as he got up from the terminal, heading for the door. "The secondary pacification protocols are a last-ditch set of security systems that were installed to annihilate everything in the facility to prevent them from overpowering the personnel here and getting loose. Of course, this includes the personnel themselves. I don't know exactly what means they had for doing this; the systems had been removed when the facility was abandoned and I certainly didn't want to put them back into place." He reached the door and opened it, walking into the hallway of the first level of the underground base, which was just one level above Ranma's containment block. "Back in its heyday, this place had the security systems to deal with this sort of thing. Not so much nowadays."  
Turning into another entrance, he yanked open the door before charging in irritably.

Robot Tycho and Robot Kyle looked up from where they were playing Capcom vs. SNK 2. Robot Ranma and Robot Snake paid the scientist no attention, as the latter spoke intently to the former while holding a metal disc that was obviously some sort of explosive device simply by virtue of the fact that Snake was holding it.  
_BRAAAP! BRAAAP!_ Seras' left eye twitched as the security alarm continue to blare away, being completely ignored by the robotic individuals in the room.  
"Welcome to my world, Master," Robot Asuka said dryly, crossing her arms over her chest.  
"I'm going to forgo the obvious questions like 'what do you think you're doing' or 'do any of you hear that noise in the background', because I know you'd just provide simple, honest, and unhelpful answers just to be smartasses," the mad scientist said as a vein popped up on his head.  
"Fine, be that way," Robot Tycho said sourly, not appreciating having his sense of humor picked apart and discarded. That said, he turned back around and returned to the game, and Robot Kyle immediately joined him. Robot Snake and Robot Ranma never stopped their careful exchange, having completely dismissed their insane master.  
Several more veins popped up. "ROBOTS! STAND AT ATTENTION!" Seras yelled.  
Immediately they shot up ramrod straight and turned to face Seras, their arms held at their sides.  
"Ranma Saotome has somehow managed to destroy the vault door to his cell and escape, and is even now running around the containment facility," Seras explained hotly. "The only resources we have available that can possibly stop him are here in this room; none of the automated defenses, or Yamazaki's robot clone down in the block C, are any kind of match for him."  
Robot Snake raised an eyebrow, having seen the vault doors and mentally calculated the degree of firepower it would have taken to destroy them. "He blew up the door? How?"  
"He probably blew it up by poking it. He does that sometimes." Robot Ranma suddenly shook his head fiercely. "I mean, I do that sometimes! Well, I would, except it was actually him, and... AAUGH! I hate not being me!"  
Seras groaned as Robot Ranma slumped over while looking depressed. 'Why is it that he's the only one with mental issues from the copying? Bizarre...' "He did NOT blow it up by poking it. That's idiotic."  
Robot Ranma raised his head up defiantly. "It is not! Watch!" Turning on his heel, the robotic double walked over to an aluminum table and jabbed it with his middle and index fingers. "**Bakusai tenketsu**!"  
_Kthunk!_ Robot Ranma's fingers went straight through the table surface, punching a small hole in the reasonably thick aluminum.  
The others stared as nothing happened, and Seras shook his head.  
"And he seems so STABLE, normally," the former drunk mumbled to himself. "Look, it doesn't matter how Saotome got out, but you're all going to hunt him down and kill him!"  
"What? But I like Ranma!" Robot Kyle complained.  
"It does seem a bit extreme, Master," Robot Asuka said nervously. "He's a powerful asset to us, don't you think?"  
Seras rolled his eyes, once again contemplating the possibility of making his robots fully evil, rather than simply ensuring they followed his commands. With all their memories and attitudes unaltered, they had the same tendencies and memories as their real counterparts.  
Not even Robot Snake jumped at the chance to hunt down his former comrade. "Can't this wait? I was teaching Robot Ranma how to disarm a time bomb. We were ready to begin a live trial."  
"That's a proximity mine, not a time bomb," Robot Asuka deadpanned.  
Robot Snake stared at her for a long moment. "Human, robot, it doesn't matter, does it? You LIVE to ruin my fun. Tuko hands me a way outta that stupid 'blow up Ranma, lose your guns' rule, and THEN you go and pull this. I never get to blow anybody up!"  
Robot Ranma would have voiced his displeasure and incredulity at Robot Snake's comments, but was busy poking more holes in the table while shouting. "**Bakusai tenketsu**! Dammit! Why doesn't it work? **Bakusai tenketsu**!"  
Seras seethed quietly as he watched the meeting break down once again; Kyle and Tycho were already sitting back down to continue their game. "ROBOTS! YOU WILL HEAD OUT IMMEDIATELY AND-"  
_WARNING! WARNING!_ The female-sounding, computerized voice buzzed in interruption of the general alarm that had been screeching for a good five minutes. _UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY ON HEADQUARTERS GROUND FLOOR! PRIMARY DEFENSES HAVE BEEN BREACHED! MAIN FACILITY SECURITY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! DANGER! DANGER!_  
"Well that's just dandy," Seras mumbled wearily, massaging his head. "Now we have a jailbreak AND an external security breach. What else can go wrong?"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_DANGER! DANGER! BRAAAP! BRAAAP! BRAAAP!_  
Robot Tiro glared up at the warning siren in annoyance, as if a withering look would intimidate the noisy device into silence. "What the hell's going on up there, anyway? Thing's been blaring for like five minutes..."  
Asuka had to suppress a smirk as she scooted to the door of her cell. Apparently Seras had made a mistake - perhaps several - and she would take every opportunity to add fuel to the fire.  
_Cough! Cough!_ "Ex-Excuse me, Yamazaki?"  
"Eh? What?" Tiro and his robotic counterpart mumbled as they both turned toward her.  
Asuka fought the urge to slam the biological lecher in the face; right now she had to seem docile and submissive.  
Not responding to the Tiro in the cell behind her, she made eye contact with Robot Tiro before continuing. "I... well... it's starting to warm up in here quite a bit..." she trailed off nervously, and began to tug on the collar of her uniform.  
Robot Tiro raised an eyebrow, and then turned all the way around, giving the captain his complete attention.  
"And I was wondering if you could let me out for a moment so I could change into something more... comfortable?"  
Robot Tiro's other eyebrow rose, and the two organic police officers in Asuka's cell gaped.  
"Uhm... well..." Robot Tiro hesitated as Asuka looked up at him with shy, pleading eyes that would have tipped off anyone else that she was manipulating them. "You can change, but... can't you change in there?"  
"Yes! I agree! You can change in here!" Tiro and Tycho said at the same time, snorting as they nodded decisively.  
A vein popped up on Asuka's head as her subordinates threatened to ruin her escape plan. 'This is EXACTLY why I would rather have been jailed with Sakura and Junko. Useless morons...'  
Across the walkway from the three imprisoned officers, Snake looked up from where he had been resting on the floor of the cage and grinned. Obviously the captain was up to something, judging by the ridiculously fake tearful expression on her face. It probably wouldn't have worked on anyone else, but luckily the target was Tiro (or at least a mental equivalent); freedom was practically guaranteed. With victory, came the inevitable recovering of their armaments. With their weapons in hand they would bring about the brutal destruction of their foes. 'C'mon Cap! Let's get this party rolling!'  
Coughing lightly to try and dispel some of her frustration, she looked up at Robot Tiro once again. "I can't change here! There are men watching! A girl needs her privacy, you know!" Then she flushed slightly as some of her apparent meekness returned. "Of course... you're a guard, so the situation's a bit different, in your case. I mean, you have to guard the prisoners, and you're a robot anyway, so-"  
"So there's no problem!" Robot Tiro said eagerly, missing the bemused look on Tycho's face and the increasingly agitated one on Tiro's. Moving in front of the terminal at the end of the hall, he began to enter a sequence of numbers into a keypad. "Just let me get that door open, and we can go change in that chem suit closet over in the corner there! Heh heh!"  
"OH, COME ON!" Tiro suddenly shouted as his patience snapped, causing Robot Tiro to stop in surprise and Asuka to shoot a glare at him.  
His captain's expression didn't intimidate his wounded pride, however, and he stood up in the electrified cell before crossing his arms over his chest. "Knock it off! There's no way I'm THAT stupid!"  
Asuka's eyebrow twitched. "All things considered, you can be much worse," she mumbled under her breath.  
Robot Tiro stared at his organic double, and then his eyes narrowed, and he smirked. "Yeah, right. Who do you think you're fooling?" Shaking his head, he finished punching in the code, and turned around as Asuka's cell door slid open.  
He grinned widely in anticipation as Asuka stepped out, but then frowned suddenly as something the real Tiro had said tugged on the small corner of his mind responsible for common sense. "Uh-oh. I really am that stupid, aren't I?"  
"It's not really your fault," Asuka explained as she approached the robot guard. "After all, you had a lousy origin."  
Without wasting anymore time on words, the police captain slid forward and delivered an agonizingly accurate rising kick straight into Robot Tiro's crotch.  
_Clang!_  
Robot Tiro's eyes went wide as everyone else blinked in surprise.  
"'Clang'?" Asuka said dubiously, retracting her foot from the android's bathing suit area.  
Very slowly, Robot Tiro's eyes returned to normal, and he let out a breath he had been holding as a reflex that he had inherited from his biological counterpart. Then he smirked. "Ha! I'm afraid that's no longer my weak point, 'Captain'! Nice try, though!"  
"Huh... okay then..." Asuka took a moment to scratch her head, then shrugged and walked up to the android.  
"Hey, what're you-" Robot Tiro was cut off as the blue-haired woman grabbed him by the shirt and then shoved him to the side, knocking him into the cage that still held Snake, was still locked, and thus, was still fully electrified.  
_BRRRRZACK!_ "GWAAAAUYTLSODTSZTKLAWERT!" Robot Tiro began spasming wildly as sparks shot out of his neck and hands, and his eyes slowly rolled up into his head before he slid to the ground comatose, electricity still arcing around his arms and face.

"Nice!" Snake chuckled, admiring his captain's handiwork. "Now let's get outta here and whip that pencil-neck drunk!"  
"It's not fair!" Tiro whined over the still-blaring warning klaxons, "I'm not that dumb! I'm NOT!"  
"Oh, shut up. Stupidity worked out in our favor for once... er... again," Tycho amended, remembering the several occasions upon which the foolishness of the DAPC's officers had granted them a much-needed and unexpected edge, "so stop whining. We have to get out of here before Robo-perv wakes up."  
_FSSSSSSSSS!_ Hot steam suddenly burst from Robot Tiro's neck, and a few sparks shot up from his shoulder. _BANG!_  
Asuka winced as the android's head popped like a balloon, sending hunks of shattered metal in the air that she barely avoided before they hit her. "Yeah... I don't think he's waking up."  
"It's not fair..." Tiro mumbled dejectedly, now speaking too quietly to be heard over the alarms. "Not only is my robot the idiot that screwed up and let us go, but he was the first one to die, too. No respect. I don't get no respect at all..."  
Asuka was glad that Tiro had lowered the volume on his whining as she concentrated in order to recall the sequence of numbers to open the cages. "Let's see... six... nine, nine, two... five! Now move the cursor to cell number three..."  
_Click!_ The lock to Snake's cage opened up, and the soft hum that indicated the cage bars were electrified stopped.  
The weapons officer grinned fiercely as he kicked open the cage door, flexing his arms. "All right! Let's do some damage!"  
"Putting aside that this is our own HQ and that damage is generally a bad thing to cause here," Asuka said with her arms crossed over her chest, "we're still stuck in this containment block. The door leading out works on an indepedent locking keypad, and I doubt we can salvage the code from the little pieces of Robo-Tiro's defective skull."  
"No sweat," Snake said smugly. "That door isn't reinforced. I can blow it open easily."  
Tycho raised an eyebrow. "How? There aren't any bombs in here."  
Snake pointed to Robot Tiro's lifeless (and headless) body. "That explosion was probably from a malfunction that caused the air pressure to build rapidly in the android's skull. I know my explosions; that wasn't a chemical detonation."  
The driver shrugged. "So?"  
"SO, my slow, useless friend, that means the power core is probably undamaged." Snake smirked as he crouched next to the broken android. "Self-motivating robots have independent power sources. Power sources are basically bombs that explode really, really slowly. A little tweaking can usually fix that."  
Asuka sweatdropped. "Only you would think of a battery as latent dynamite." Then she sighed. "But it's our best shot. Do what you can. Kyle's in the next section, so if we can get him out, then he should be able to batter down the doors in our way."  
"Now they're cannibalizing my robot body for parts," Tiro complained, again being drowned out by the alarms that refused to quiet themselves. "No respect at all..."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Who the hell is that?" Seras asked as he stared once more into the main security monitor, his squad of cybernetic warriors behind him.  
Robot Asuka shook her head. "It's Rayden, the religious nut. This isn't good..."  
The mad scientist frowned as he watched Rayden, Junko, Sakura, and Hunter move up to the stairwell, having secured the first floor. "What's his combat potential?"  
"Lethal," Robot Asuka answered seriously. "He's impervious to normal small arms and carries an entire arsenal on him. If we don't take him out, he WILL take us out." Then she rubbed her chin in thought. "Though I can't imagine what he's doing here..."  
"Apparently Junko's trying to tame him," Robot Ranma answered, shrugging.  
Robot Snake nodded. "Well, that's neither here nor there. At the moment, our best bet is to divide our forces to meet our biological doubles head-on for an epic and climactic battle that'll probably tear the building apart!"  
"There are two problems with that," Robot Asuka said sourly. "Three, if you count the destruction of HQ, which you probably don't. First off, we don't have any doubles of the people breaking into the main building."  
"Well, then you can take Robot Snake and me to deal with them," Robot Tycho reasoned. "It's not like our doubles have gotten free yet."  
_WARNING! WARNING! SECURITY BREACH IN CONTAINMENT BLOCK C! AUTOMATED SECURITY SYSTEMS ONLINE! AREA PACIFICATION IN PROGRESS!_  
Seras' shoulders slumped as he grasped the edge of the security console, and he hung his head.  
"Okay, fine. So Kyle's the only one still secure," Robot Tycho amended. "So the rest of us can go fight our doubles, and Robot Kyle can go kill the intruders."  
"What? You want me to kill Sakura?" Robot Kyle looked alarmed and fearful at the prospect, and Seras' face darkened further.  
Finally, Robot Ranma couldn't take any more. "I don't want to fight my double!" He suddenly shouted.  
Robot Snake blinked. "Why not? I thought you were the type who always rises to the challenge and that sort of thing."  
"The real Ranma is! I'm just a copy! I'll lose! I don't wanna lose!" Robot Ranma complained.  
Robot Asuka sighed. "Which brings us to our second problem: He's right. Copies and clones traditionally have a very poor record as far as facing their originals in combat. More so in our case, because we're not really evil and actually have emotional attachments to the people we're trying to kill."  
"Real smart move not making us evil, Master," Robot Snake said snidely.  
"Yeah, this is all your fault!" Robot Kyle said angrily.  
Seras groaned and massaged his head as he waited for his one competent android to get to the point.  
"Really, our only hope for survival is to split up such that our strengths can be used against our enemies' weaknesses." Robot Asuka turned to Robot Snake. "Robot Snake, you have guns. Your counterpart doesn't. You can take Robot Tycho and wipe out our originals in Containment Block C." She turned toward Robot Ranma. "Robot Ranma, you seem to have some kind of stupid self-esteem issue, so you're in no shape to fight the real Ranma. You try and hold the intruders in HQ until the rest of us finish up and can join you." Finally, she turned toward Robot Kyle. "You'll take on Ranma with me. Your raw strength gives you a physical edge, while my tactical sense gives me an intellectual edge. We'll need both to take down Saotome."  
A small smile blossomed on Seras' face as the androids reluctantly nodded, accepting their orders.  
"Very well, then!" The mad scientist chuckled, and then pointed toward the stairwell. "Robots! I order you to hunt down and destroy the officers of the DAPC immediately! Do NOT fail, or the consequences will be dire!"  
"If we fail, then they'll blow us up," Robot Ranma deadpanned. "We won't survive long enough to worry about YOU."  
Seras rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and get on with it."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_BRRZAAAAK!_ Asuka dodged across the hallway as the small stunner turret fired a long, twisting bolt of electricity at her, missing badly and scorching the wall with its discharge.  
Turning into the doorway she had dashed into, she waved along Tycho, who sprinted across the width of the hallway a moment later.  
_BRRZAAAK!_ The stun ray was a bit slower in firing as it oriented on a new target, and didn't even fire until the driver had already made it to safety.  
Snake saw the opening and grinned. Jumping out of the connecting hallway, he flung an object toward the ceiling turret with all his might.  
_Bam!_ Some sparks shot out of the protrusion as the charred metal foot smashed into the small autoturret, shattering the main sensor and snapping one of the motivators.  
Snake planted his fists on his hips as his projectile fell to the floor, followed by a shower of electric sparks. The turret, trying to orient itself to carry out its functions despite being blinded and crippled, attempted to unleash another shock despite its projection rods being bent inward.  
_FZASH!_ A much larger explosion of sparks erupted from the device, followed by a popping noise that indicated a definite end to the minor threat.

The others emerged from their cover with expressions of surprise and reluctant admiration for their lieutenant, impressed despite themselves that the Texan could be a formidable combat force without proper firearms.  
Well, actually, only Asuka and Tycho did.  
"Damn it, Snake! Stop using my body parts as weapons!" Tiro growled as he followed the American into the hallway.  
"It's not your body, so stop complaining," Snake insisted, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"All right Stooges, shut it," Asuka snapped, taking point as she moved through the hallway along the wall, commando-style. "Our first priority is finding some weapons for when we run into our copies. Second priority is finding Kyle and getting him free. After that we can free Ranma and then join up with whatever it is that's causing those alarms, if it isn't Ranma himself."  
Tycho nodded. "The banging noises from earlier weren't that far off, so the vault cell must lie at the end of the corridor... that way!" He pointed to the left where the hallway ended and split in two paths.  
"It must curve back around. All these dark, underground labyrinths are about capitalizing on space," Snake murmured, remembering Deth's labs that had been built around his dungeon.  
Asuka nodded and peeked around the corner once she reached the end of the hallway. "Damn, another turret. Snake, do you have any Robot Tiro left?"  
"Hey!"  
Snake shook his head. "Nope, just the real one. You want me to tear him into pieces so we can throw him instead?"  
"HEY!"  
The police captain discarded the idea, shaking her head, though a momentary delay informed an increasingly malcontent Tiro that she had actually thought about the plan first.  
"No... hey, wait..." Asuka looked up as the pitch of the frequently blaring alarms began to shift slightly in pitch and volume.  
_BRAAP! BRAAP! BEEEM! BEEEM! BEEEM!_  
Then the klaxons halted entirely, leaving the hallways with a dead, empty silence that nearly caused the police officers to stumble in surprise.  
"Dang... I almost forgot what quiet sounded like," Tycho mumbled as Asuka checked around the corner again.  
"Hm. The turret's gone," she grumbled.  
Tiro brightened. "That's great! Let's go!"  
"It's not great, nitwit. It's very far from great," the bluette chastised her confused subordinates as she suddenly dashed down the hall. "The only reasons why Tuko would deactivate the automated defenses is if the ones who prompted the alarm were dead, which can't be since we're part of that group, or if he didn't want the autoturrets interfering with an active defense force."  
Tycho blinked. "An active defense force?"  
"The copy bots," Snake muttered as he sped up to run alongside their leader. "Meaning that instead of clumsy, immobile stun guns in our way, we'll have to deal with androids with all our experience and skills."  
Then, much to the disturbance of his companions, the weapons expert grinned. "Sounds like fun."  
Asuka grimaced as they reached the end of the hallway. Lying before them was a large circular room with four vaults located ninety-degrees from each other along the circumference of the room. Around the room were scattered dozens of large, aluminum-plated crates, all of them closed and many of them looking beaten and worn.  
Asuka glanced at the elevator shaft across from the hall exit, and noted with some relief that there was no indication that it was currently in use.  
"KYLE! YOU HERE!" She shouted as she stepped into the middle of the room, trying to figure out a basic layout in her head to help determine which vault held the DAPC's mentally deficient mutant.  
"Captain? Is that you? Hey, you're free!"  
Asuka walked up to the vault door from which the gleeful voice echoed, and she winced. "Yes... but it's going to be harder to free you than it was for us."  
Snake whistled as he stepped up to the vault and felt the finely-polished surface of the door. "Yeah, it's gonna take a lot more than Tiro to blow this thing up."  
"Leave me alone!"  
Asuka nodded, and then steeled herself, for she knew that the following line of questioning could be extremely hazardous to her sanity and future physical safety. "So do you have anything powerful enough to bust this open?"  
Snake grinned; the least she could expect. "Oh, sure!"  
She nodded again, bracing herself for the real question. "Anything that won't demolish the HQ?"  
Snake blinked. Repeatedly. "The HQ?" His superior raised an eyebrow, awaiting his answer. "Don't you think that we should be discussing the survival of the surrounding neighborhood before you get your hopes up for the office? This thing is REALLY thick. Priorities, you know?"  
"Shut up now," Asuka commanded darkly. "If we can't blast our way through, then we'll have to force it out of Tuko. It won't be-" She was cut off by a sudden grinding noise from the far end of the room, and she mumbled a quick curse. "The elevator! They're coming!"

Snake kicked the lid off one of the metal crates, ignoring his companions as they began to panic.  
Looking down into the box, he frowned as he saw many brown and black-speckled ovals sitting in sytrofoam peanuts. "What the hell? Eggs?"  
Asuka began shouting orders to Tiro and Tycho, and just barely stopped them from retreating back into the hallway.  
Snake gave the collection of ovals a disgusted look. "Hmph. When one finds a collection of crates lying in the middle of an abandoned building, it's SUPPOSED to contain perfectly usable and often illegal weapons that the previous occupants left behind for no reason, not groceries." Snorting, he turned around the picked the crate top up off the floor, not noticing as the collection of styrofoam and eggs shifted and squirmed slightly.  
"Sssss..." a dark, writhing shape emerged from amongst the contents of the crate, poking its head out as pieces of its former prison clung to its moist skin.  
Seeing its prey leaning over with his back turned, the worm-like creature slid upward and freed the rest of its body from the other contents of the crate, coiling itself atop one of the large eggs and rearing its head back. Giving another quiet hiss, the worm opened its mouth for the strike, revealing long strings of dark, slimy saliva that fed between its long, jagged teeth.

_Thump!_ Snake ignored the mild banging noise as he slammed the lid back onto the top of the crate.  
"Hmph. Way heavier than it looked," he grumbled, wiping a bit of sweat off his brow.  
"Snake! Is there anything in those things we can use as weapons?" Asuka asked, reaching the elevator and pressing her back flat against the wall next to the door. A brief light of hope had blossomed within her once she heard the elevator stop before it had reached them, but that thought was quashed when it began moving again soon afterward.  
"Not unless you want to humiliate them before they kill us," the weapons expert mumbled, prying up the lid of a different crate. "What the hell? 'Daemon eggs'?" Shaking his head at the label that rested on top of the carefully placed rows of black orbs. They were different from the ones in the last crate, and there were less of them, but their presence still didn't help the officers' situation any. "Was this place some sort of breeding facility?"  
Moving to the next one, he lifted up the top and looked inside. Like the first crate, there was no label, but unlike the others this container held no eggs, but only severed tentacles of some sort. Judging by the total lack of suckers on the tentacles, Snake was guessing they had not come from any sea creature he knew of, and his eyes twitched as he let the top fall. "Okay, not a breeding facility... unless there was some really messed-up breeding going on."  
"Snake, get over here!" Asuka commanded, hearing the elevator car slowly rumble down. "All we can do is try to surprise them!"  
Nodding, the lieutenant jumped over the crates and dashed toward the elevator, backing against the wall on the opposite side of the door from Asuka.  
Asuka nodded as Tycho and Tiro ducked behind a few nearby crates, ready to pounce once the more dangerous officers began fighting.  
Then, something occurred to her, and the steel trap that was her mind seized onto an important detail.  
"Snake," she said suddenly, turning her head toward her subordinate, "if you were headed down on an elevator into a combat zone, what would you do?"  
The man blinked, then shrugged. "I'd hang onto the ceiling and drop a frag the moment the doors opened to foil any ambushes like the one we're performing. Why do you ask?"  
"I hate it when there's two of you," she sobbed gently, diving away from the elevator as the car slowly settled into its destination. Snake followed a moment later, guessing at his superior's hunch, and found a well-concealed spot next to Tycho as Asuka found cover next to Tiro.  
_Ding!_

There was a rusty creaking noise as the outdated and poorly maintained elevator opened up.  
_Clink!_ A small, olive green cylinder bounced out of the elevator car and onto the floor.  
_BOOM!_ Asuka winced as she heard the fragmentation grenade detonate, and mentally thanked whatever entities were responsible for granting her such foresight as to ask Snake about his tactical habits.  
'I hope Robot Snake is the only real fighter they sent; he's going to be hard enough to take down,' Asuka groused as she peeked out slightly and waited for the newcomers to exit the elevator car. 'If they sent Robot Ranma or Kyle down too, no amount of luck or planning is going to see us through this.'  
"Goddamit Snake!" Robot Tycho complained as the two androids stepped out of the elevator. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that?"  
Asuka sighed slightly in relief, seeing only Robot Tycho follow Snake's cybernetic double out of the elevator. Tycho was a lazy fool with negligible combat skills unless he was behind the wheel of some sort of vehicle. For that matter, he already appeared damaged, with a few shards of shrapnel lodged in his pants and one in his neck.  
Robot Snake snorted as he slowly surveyed the room, his shotgun resting in his hands. "Stop your whining. You can't even feel pain, so what do you care?"  
"I've got sharp pieces of metal lodged in me! I have the memories and experiences of a human being! Caring comes naturally!" Robot Tycho seethed, ripping out the piece that had been embedded in his neck.  
"You should have followed my movements and done what I did," Robot Snake insisted, still scanning the room as he argued.  
"You should have used the long, silent elevator ride down to tell me what you were going to do ahead of time, you psycho!"  
"And ruin the element of surprise?"  
"You're only supposed to surprise the bad guys!"  
"We are the bad guys."  
"SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!"  
"You're not the boss of Robot Snake!"  
The pointless and distracting bickering was brought to a screeching halt as an echoing voice came from one of the vaults located on the side of the main containment deck.  
"Hey, are you robot guys out there?" Kyle shouted from within his cell, banging on the massive vault door a moment later.  
The robots turned toward the vault and snorted.  
"Hmph. Well, the idiot's still trapped, that's good," Robot Tycho said, snorting.  
"No he's not! Tiro was just here! I heard him!" Kyle insisted, proving once again that two and two ends up just way too close to five.  
Whatever Tiro's intentions were after hearing that, he didn't make the best of impressions by suddenly jumping up from behind his hiding place before pointing and yelling at the vault where Kyle was. "WHY IS EVERYBODY PICKING ON ME! **YOU'RE** THE IDIOT! I'M-" he suddenly fell silent, before squeaking out, "-so very, very screwed."  
_Ch-chak! Ch-chak!_

The two robots wasted no time in opening fire on the department lecher, each one slightly relieved that their first kill wasn't one they would miss.  
Tiro, being adept at two things and two things only - finding attractive women and preserving his life against impossible odds - quickly utilized the second of those skills, diving away from his former hiding place and rolling across the floor as buckshot pounded the floor and various crates around him.  
_BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!_ Robot Snake growled as his normally impeccable aim was thrown off by Tiro's uncanny speed and completely random leaps for safety among the abundant cover provided by the stacks of metal crates. Luckily for him, the lecher was panicking too much to stay behind any one of them rather than running like a madman, giving the android plenty of chances. Tycho was absolutely no help, being a poor marksmen normally, and having little experience with firearms outside of machine guns.  
"WAAAAH! I DON'T WANNA DIE! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" Tiro begged as he stopped dead in run, squealing in horror as the wall in front of him suddenly burst into a patch of sparks and bouncing metal pellets. Reversing direction with an acceleration that would have impressed even Ranma, he then dove into another roll, passing behind two more crates which were soon ravaged by shotgun fire.  
_BLAM!_ Robot Snake clicked his tongue as he missed again, but managed to glance around the room quickly to make sure there wasn't anybody else emerging to attack. Staying out in the middle of the ring of crates, it would be hard for an opponent to get to hand-to-hand range easily, but he had not survived for so long by letting down his guard.  
"Hey! Are you trying to kill Tiro? Don't kill Tiro!" Kyle insisted suddenly from his prison.  
_BLAM!_ "Why? Would you miss 'im?" Robot Snake asked as he blasted another crate apart, spilling small metal spheres onto the floor.  
Kyle remained silent for a moment. "That's not the point! It's wrong!"  
"I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!" Tiro cried, making a mad dash for the hallway.  
Robot Tycho lowered his gun and began to run after the lecher, running closer to the scattered metal crates in the process.  
Before Robot Snake could shout out a warning, Asuka's foot shot out and tripped up the android driver at the ankle, sending him tumbling forward.  
Flinging out his hands, the robot tried to cushion his landing, but failed as Asuka darted out and grabbed the back of his head, slamming it into the ground.  
_Crack!_ The police captain quickly snapped her victim's head sharply to the side, eliciting a satisfying yelp from the robot. Then she grabbed him under the arms and hoisted him up, using the android to shield her body.  
Robot Snake frowned at the scene, and continued reloading his Pancor Jackhammer, clearly in no hurry to save/avenge his fellow android.

Robot Tycho blinked as he stared at the far wall of the room, his head feeling oddly disjoined from his body. He knew he should have been facing forward, but his view, coupled with the responses from his body, told him that he wasn't.  
"Hey, my head isn't moving. What just happened?"  
"Gyah!" Asuka was startled despite herself as she struggled to keep the android between her and Robot Snake. 'Oh, wait. Robot. Right. Snapping his neck won't necessarily do anything. Great.'  
_BLAM!_ She jolted back as the shotgun blast hammered her shield, her eyes wide.  
"Gurk! Gugh! Khhhk!" Robot Tycho sputtered incoherently for a moment as various chunks of his torso components fell out of his sundered chest cavity. "You... You... You SHOT ME! You crazy son of a bitch, you shot me!"  
"Well, it's hardly MY fault that some idiot managed to get himself stuck between me and the target, now is it?" Robot Snake said as a shotgun casing bounced off the steel floor at his feet. "'Sides, I've never been fond of evil doubles."  
"You ARE an evil double!" Robot Tycho screamed.  
He regretted this posthaste once his cybernetic companion took aim once again, this time a bit higher. "Shut up."  
_BLAM!_ Asuka ducked desperately as the robot's head burst apart into so many plates and shards of metal right over her head, and felt the android's body release a final, reflexive shudder before it shut down and became dead weight.  
Dead weight was still useful though; weight could be placed between one's body and an oncoming wall of super-accelerated lead pellets. Which was precisely what Asuka did by kicking Robot Tycho's body forward into Robot Snake, forcing the active android to dodge out of the way so that he could get a clear shot.  
Asuka wasted no time, hooking her foot under Robot Tycho's shotgun and kicking it up into the air as she turned.  
_BLAM!_ Robot Snake frowned as his shot merely raked the blue mane of Asuka's hair as she ducked back behind cover.  
And then his eyes widened as he caught something out of the corner of his eye. 'Wait, she didn't have time to grab the gun! Where-'  
Ducking as he twisted around, Robot Snake angled the barrel of his weapon upward just in time to see the barrel of his companion's weapon angled downward, staring him in the face.  
Snake grinned, totally ignoring the weapon aimed straight at his chin.  
Robot Snake slowly grinned as well, and then stood up, his shotgun held steady.  
"So, now it truly begins," Snake said conversationally, clearly not concerned with his predicament.  
"It doesn't really seem fair though," Robot Snake said, frowning suddenly. "Now you and me are on equal terms, but you still have the captain plus two pieces of cannon fodder."  
"WE ARE **NOT** CANNON FODDER!" Tiro and Tycho shouted from their hiding places, unwilling to come out even now that they had the upper hand.  
Snake frowned as well. "You're right, of course. This isn't like fighting that other clone after he stole my tank."  
"Oh, yeah. I hated that guy."  
"Me too. Total jerk. And no finesse, either. Hardly a decent clone."  
Asuka growled as she poked her head up. "Can we get back to the battle at hand, please?"  
"Right, right," Snake said apologetically. "Anyway, we can make this fair. We let the others escape to the elevator, and once they're gone, we'll settle this."  
"Yes! Very good idea!" "Please! Please let us out of here!" The two useless men in the room cried out, much to the only woman's chagrin.  
Asuka stood up hesitantly and saw that the two Snakes were completely focused on each other; a single gunshot no matter where it was aimed guaranteed death for the shooter, but the only guaranteed kill was right in front of them. "Normally, I'd use this situation to gain the upper hand, and bring my team through this debacle unscathed while completely annihilating the enemy, like a proper captain" she offered, tapping her chin. "On that note: screw it. You two can kill each other. I'm leaving. Yamazaki! Wattai! Get your sorry butts over here!" She immediately jogged to the elevator, still keeping one eye on the standoff of look-alikes behind her. "By the time I get back, there had better be only one of you left!"

_Shoomp! Vrrrrrr..._  
Both Snakes smirked once the elevator began its climb upward, leaving the pair alone in the empty, secluded containment deck.  
_Whang! Whang! Whang!_ "Hey! You guys! What's going on out there? I'm bored!"  
Well, mostly alone, anyway.  
"I was hoping I'd get to fight you," Robot Snake murmured, ignoring the trapped blond.  
Snake raised an eyebrow. "Why? Does facing me validate your existence? Do you feel that your life has meaning if you destroy or surpass your origin?"  
"Eh, not really," the android said noncommittally, shrugging. "I just thought it'd be fun."  
Snake grinned. "I like you."  
"Thanks. Feeling's mutual."  
"Ready to die?"  
"Born ready, bro."  
At some unspoken agreement, they both jumped backwards.  
_BLAM! BLAM!_  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma frowned as he heard the alarms stop suddenly, and looked around the main deck area he kept coming back to.  
"Hmph. Stupid tunnels lead nowhere," he murmured as he stared at the elevator that seemed to be his only way out. Unfortunately, the car was not there at present, and the terminal that appeared to control the elevator call required a keycode to operate.  
Ranma was smart enough to figure out that, unlike the thirteen doors that had separated the different sections of the containment block and now rested in little bent, twisted pieces, this obstacle could not be overcome with brute force.  
He was also smart enough to figure out that the elevator, which seemed to utilize an old, simple pulley system, was on a floor above him. So if he broke into the shaft, not only was there no suspended cable to climb, but any attempt to scale the wall could be thwarted by a large metal box falling on top of him.  
"Hmmm... Alex's twin sister was right; I'd be pretty good at this secret agent stuff," he thought to himself, once again unable to remember the woman's name. He couldn't really help it; remembering people was never his strong point, and the brunette made a much softer impression than her evil megalomaniacal sibling.  
The rooms of the containment block contained nothing, or at the very least, contained nothing that could help him more than it could harm him. Looking around at the various vaults and cells, he found prisons with the strangest labels, ranging from Ghost Containment Unit to Symbiote Storage Vat. From what he could tell, everything was barely running, and what little indication of the prisons' inhabitants he found were skeletal, but he was in no hurry to give himself another reason to escape the underground facility.  
"Stupid jerk probably figured I had the best chance of escape, so he put everyone else on a separate level." He frowned. Ranma didn't like fighting people who used intelligence instead of brawn. Simply put, it was hard. While he wasn't exactly the dumb jock everyone thought he was, his area of genius was firmly grounded in physical combat tactics. Seras was apparently the other kind of genius; the kind that caught fighters like Ranma in cunning traps and sent nearly unstoppable henchmen after him without ever facing him one-on-one. Obviously, he had to find the mad scientist and crush him physically before the former drunk could leverage the full power of his intellect toward crushing the pigtailed man first.  
_RRRRRRRRRM..._  
Ranma clicked his tongue as he heard the elevator start moving. "Like it or not, here we go..."

_Ker-chunk!_ The scaffolding around the elevator shook for a moment as the elevator stopped. After a split second, the doors burst open.  
_Thwack!_ "Put that grenade back!"  
A second later, Robot Asuka jumped out of the elevator, quickly scanning the room for the target. Nothing.  
As Robot Kyle stepped out to join her, the android woman scowled into the elevator. "Now get down there and destroy the others! And try not to blow up Robot Tycho in the process!"  
"No promises," came a familiar voice in the elevator. A moment later the door closed.

Robot Kyle looked uncharacteristically nervous, despite the fact that he held a pair of M2 heavy machine guns under his arms.  
His unease came not from the fact that he was carrying two weapons which were so large and heavy that an individual in powered armor would have had trouble correctly using one without a tripod or mount; no, for all the heavy guns bothered him they may as well have been water pistols.  
His dread came rather from the fact that he had been ordered to hunt down and kill someone who his memories dictated was a friend, and potentially a brother-in-law.  
And then there was the added fact that he had seen this person tear apart a mauler with his bare hands.  
Robot Kyle didn't know if he was stronger than a mauler (due mostly to the chemical brainwashing that had blurred his memory of Yoshi's tests), but he had dearly hoped the subject would never come up.  
"Stay along the wall, Kyle. And follow me," Robot Asuka mumbled, gripping a flashbang stun grenade in her hand.  
She knew Ranma was fast enough to dodge bullets, so hoping he'd let an attack grenade hit him was ridiculous. A flashbang, however, had a very short fuse and didn't require that the target be anywhere near it when it exploded. Not a perfect plan, but it was one of many imperfect ones she was boiling up as quickly as she could.  
Robot Kyle started mumbling to himself as he followed his cybernetic superior. "He could just blow me up from a distance... doesn't even need a gun... my own freakin' knife, right in the throat or something..."  
Robot Asuka pushed aside the android lummox's complaints without responding; she had plenty of reservations about this mission as it is, and knew Ranma's capabilities far better than the blonde idiot she was leading.  
"I mean, the guy can turn invisible... could be right in front of me, and WHAM..."  
Or maybe she didn't.  
"Turn invisible?" Robot Asuka snapped, glancing at her companion. "Since when can he turn invisible?"  
Robot Kyle blinked. "Since we blew up the sergeant's car."  
This did absolutely nothing to satisfy Asuka's query. "We don't HAVE a sergeant!"  
"Well, not ANYMORE," The blonde android said in a "Well, duh" tone of voice.  
Robot Asuka fiercely bit back the urge to strike the other robot, reminding herself that they could no longer feel pain, and that she therefore couldn't get her point across without severely damaging the idiot and jeopardizing the task at hand.  
"Lieutenant Commander, are you telling me, truthfully and seriously, that Saotome can actually cloak himself at will?" This was bad. Very bad. Seras, being the slipshod excuse for a mad scientist that he was - being that he had just recovered from a decade-long drinking binge and was probably quite rusty - hadn't given their robot bodies any abilities beyond their human forms (though they were obviously tougher as a result of being made of metal). She had no thermal scanners or delicate sensors to detect anything that wasn't apparent to the naked eye.  
"I swear to God, if we make it back to that bastard of a master intact, I'm going to get him drunk again, somehow," she scowled as she paid much closer attention to her surroundings, hoping that she'd see a stray indentation in a crate or hear the scruff of a boot if she paid enough attention.  
It was hopeless, of course, as Ranma possessed all the stealth and dexterity of the average fully-trained Ninja, and she knew it. In this area, and with her current backup, she was completely outmatched.  
She turned toward Robot Kyle. "Let's get... er..."

Ranma glared down at Robot Kyle, his legs spread slightly as he stood atop the two machine guns that the android was holding.  
Robot Kyle looked up at Ranma and groaned. "Well, dang." It wasn't quite the sneak-attack he had been fearing, though this kind of approach was more intimidating.  
_Crack!_ Quickly kicking off of Kyle's chest, Ranma did a backflip through the air while sending the blonde android into the wall hard enough to jar his weapons loose.  
Asuka cursed as the pigtailed man sailed to the other end of the room and disappeared behind one of the stacks of metal crates before she could snap off a shot at him with her shotgun. 'Not good, not good at all. Dammit, why didn't Ranma tell me he could turn invisible?'  
Truth be told, there were quite a few abilities Ranma had that Asuka had no clue about, which were kept a secret for precisely this reason; with minimal knowledge of his more exotic tricks, his enemies were less likely to be able to defend against them.  
"Get your metal butt off the floor, robot!" The android woman growled, slipping the pin out of the flashbang grenade she held while keeping the lever squeezed. This was going to be tricky...  
Estimating how much time it would take Ranma to reach her by running behind the partial ring of crates (assuming he didn't want to risk detection by a headlong charge), she suddenly raised her hand into the air and let go of the squeeze handle.  
Ranma knew what a flashbang was and had seen them in action, but he was never much of an explosives user, and had no idea how to tell one kind of grenade from another.  
When he saw Robot Asuka raise the flashbang above her head, he assumed she still had some time before it exploded; he imagined that she liked her arm in one piece and attached to her shoulder, after all.  
_BANG!_  
Ranma flinched badly as his vision went white and his ears started ringing badly, totally disoriented. The Umi-sen-ken cloak dropped immediately, causing him to appear as if summoned by the bright magnesium flash.  
Yes, the mighty Ranma Saotome had no defense against the humble stun grenade, at least not yet. Unfortunately for him, loud noise and bright lights did nothing to hinder androids.  
Robot Asuka turned and fired, scowling when she saw her target backflipping away; even stunned Ranma could make impossible dodges!  
She didn't stop firing, though, and shouted to her only subordinate as she unloaded the full clip of the Pancor jackhammer at her nimble opponent. "Kyle! Get up on those crates and give me suppression fire!"  
Ranma felt like cursing when he heard a loud noise from across the room. His vision hadn't recovered and he didn't have a good enough feel for the room to seek secure cover without it. In addition, Robot Asuka's last burst had actually winged him.  
Skidding across the floor, Ranma impacted a crate and then kicked off of it, aiming for where he remembered the hallway being.  
_WHAM!_

Robot Kyle blinked as he watched Ranma slam into a wall right next to the hallway deeper into the facility. "Huh? Did we win?" He hadn't even started shooting yet!  
Robot Asuka scowled as Ranma slowly slid down the wall, conveniently slipping behind a smaller stack of the scattered metal crates.  
Not about to trust their victory to dumb (very dumb, in her opinion) luck, Robot Asuka quickly detached a fragmentation grenade from her belt and tossed it toward the Ranma-shaped imprint on the wall.  
_Clink! BOOM!_ "OW! DAMMIT, THAT HURT!"  
Robot Asuka "tsked" as she dashed toward the crate Ranma was hiding behind, her shotgun ready to pulverize his remains. 'Leave it to Saotome to take a frag in the face and just start complaining about it.'  
_Ch-chak!_ Hopping onto the metal crate, Robot Asuka lowered the barrel of her shotgun, ready to unload a lethal burst of twelve-gauge ammunition...  
... Into the charred circle on the metal floor.  
Ranma grinned as he dropped his cloak of his own volition, and suddenly dropped down onto the android from where he had been clinging to the ceiling. He didn't show any signs of damage from taking a grenade at point-blank range.  
_Bwack!_ Robot Asuka let out a startled yelp as she was tackled to the floor behind the stacks of crates, and knew it was over the moment her shotgun bounced away out of her grip. She had challenged Ranma's abilities with her tactical wit, and lost. There would be no second chances.  
When she cracked her eyes open, however, it appeared she was wrong. Ranma's fist hovered in a chambered position, shaking slightly, and he was gazing down at her with a frantic, fearful stare.

'I... I just can't do it,' Ranma thought, nearly whimpering as he saw the artificial woman beneath him slowly crack her eyes open.  
It had hit him like a sledgehammer, seeing the robot imitation of his superior suddenly flinch back, clearly expecting the swift destruction he had intended for her. It was a reflex. Robots weren't supposed to have reflexes; that was reserved for living things. Animals and people.

It wasn't difficult for Robot Asuka to guess what was going through Ranma's mind, and felt a horrible wad of guilt form inside her when she prepared herself to take advantage of his hesitation.  
'Oh yes, some partial memory wipes are definitely in order,' she thought as her hand slipped down to the knife at her belt.  
Ranma knew what was coming, and spat a quick curse as he jumped away and landed in a crouch atop the crates they were using as cover. 'Damn, I need a sec to get my bearings. I have to... uh oh..."  
_BR-R-R-R-RAAAAAP!_ Twin streams of lead tore into the wall as he frantically dove away from Robot Kyle's support fire, rolling across the floor and scrambling away in much the same manner as Tiro was doing on the previous level at the same time.  
"Damn robots!" Ranma snarled, dashing at the wall full speed and then proceeding to actually run along the wall horizontally.  
Robot Kyle tracked him along the way, trailing the pigtailed man with enough high-powered lead to rip an eighteen-wheeler in two before Ranma dove to the ground and then darted into one of the open vaults on the side of the circular room.

Ranma winced as part of the vault door frame erupted into a shower of sparks from the dozens of ricochets. 'Not good. Not good at all.'  
He frowned. 'I can probably win against Kyle at range using my ki blasts, but... to dodge a machine gun, I'd need to give him my full attention, which leaves me vulnerable to Asuka. If I take it in close, I can disarm him, and I'll definitely win a hand-to-hand battle, but I still don't know exactly how strong he is, and I'll be wide open for another stun grenade.'  
He spent a moment considering it as he heard Kyle land on the floor outside. 'The second plan is better, but if there's another way to do this... hmmm... you know, if these guys have our memories, maybe...'

Robot Asuka dashed to the wall and pressed her back against it right next to the vault Ranma had ducked into, grabbing her last flashbang from her belt. Seeing Robot Kyle back away from the entrance on the opposite side of the vault, she began flashing hand signs ordering him closer to her.  
In response, Robot Kyle wedged one of his machine guns under his arm, and then waved at her. "Hello!"  
'If we get out of this intact, I am going to tear him limb from limb and use him for spare parts,' Robot Asuka swore, rubbing her forehead out of habit to alleviate a headache she didn't have.  
Suddenly, Ranma's voice emerged from the vault.  
"Hey, Kyle! Try throwing a frag at me!"  
Robot Asuka gaped and stuttered ineffectually as Robot Kyle took Ranma's advice without hesitation, wrenching a fragmentation grenade off his belt, tearing the key out, and then swinging it into the vault in a smooth, thoughtless motion (which was probably why he was good at it).  
"YOU IDIOT!" Robot Asuka cried. Immediately afterward, the grenade came back out of the vault, bouncing off the vault door frame and flying right toward the blue-haired android's head.  
_BOOM!_ The robot's head was torn apart along with the grenade as the explosive charge detonated less than an inch from Robot Asuka's nose, rending the face and skull apart into a burst of sparks and shrapnel.  
Robot Kyle was appropriately horrified by this development, and as such didn't react immediately when Ranma dashed out of the vault and leapt toward him.  
_Thwack! Crack!_ In a blur of motion, Ranma kicked the two machine guns in opposite directions, and then lashed out with the same leg at Robot Kyle, striking the android in the chest.  
The blond robot barely stumbled. "You bastard! You tricked me! You killed Asuka!" He launched forward with a right hook, only to have Ranma dance backward out of range.  
"Oh, hush. I'm having enough trouble with destroying you guys as it is," the pigtailed cop grumbled. 'Keep reminding yourself: he's not human. Just a robot.' He ducked under another punch, and had the satisfaction of watching his cybernetic opponent strike the metal wall instead.  
_WHANG!_ He sweatdropped as he watched the wall bend inward around Kyle's fist, rather than the other way around. Still, the android was clearly jarred from the impact.  
Taking advantage of Robot Kyle's distraction, Ranma darted in and jabbed two fingers into Kyle's midsection. "Not a person," he mumbled, "Just a robot. After all, the **bakusai tenketsu** doesn't work on people."  
Robot Kyle blinked as he felt his body pressure began to rise exponentially. "Huh? What're yo-" _KABOOM!_

Ranma winced as he started picking out the fragments of Robot Kyle that had been embedded in his body from the explosion.  
"There was a time when I could have grabbed all those pieces out of the air before they hit me," he grumbled to himself. "Besides that, my success rate with the breaking point is still something like one in three." It had actually taken him four tries to destroy the vault door from earlier.  
As he walked toward the elevator, he also reflected upon how hard it was to personally tear apart the two robots simply because they had the faces and reactions of humans.  
'Hmph. I'll bet Snake wouldn't have had any problem killing them.'  
As that thought boiled over, Ranma stopped in his tracks, and his left eyebrow twitched. 'When did I start thinking of Snake as a positive role model?'  
_RRRRRRRRRM..._ The elevator began moving once again, and the pigtailed cop sighed. 'I need to revamp my training regimine. I think I'm getting out of shape.' With that uncomfortable thought, he vanished from sight.

_RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM... Clunk!_ The elevator car shook slightly as it came to a complete stop, and Ranma could hear voices from within as the door slowly opened.  
"But what are we going to do? We still don't have any-GWAAAH!" As soon as the opening was big enough, Tiro was forcibly ejected from the elevator at high speed before crashing into a surprised Ranma.  
_Thwack! Whump! Thud!_  
Ranma blinked in surprise as he finished slamming Tiro into the ground, his brain having caught up with his reflexes. "Wait... you're not made of metal..." Then he looked up to see the expressions of surprise on Tycho's and - more importantly - Asuka's face. "It's you guys!"  
"Why... me...?" Tiro groaned.  
Asuka let out a deep breath. "Thank God you're the real one. Have you run into any of the doubles?"  
Ranma jabbed a thumb behind him at the cybernetic lower torso and the nearly-headless body that laid on the floor.  
The police captain blinked. "What'd you do to my face?"  
"Only what I had to," Ranma grumped. "Can we get on with this? I'm really looking forward to crushing my own double, now."  
"Okay, but what about Tiro?" Tycho asked, turning toward their superior officer. "Should we take him along? He looks kind of worn out."  
Asuka considered the matter for a moment as the man in question curled up into the fetal position and while staring at her with large, glassy puppy-dog eyes.  
"Yeah, we probably should. Even if we have weapons now, we might need to throw something in the way of incoming fire while we run for cover," she decided with a light sigh.  
"You people suck," Tiro deadpanned, resigned to his fate as Ranma dragged him into the elevator car by one leg.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rayden halted and held up his arm suddenly, causing the two women and zergling behind him to nearly stumble into each other as they stopped.  
Immediately Sakura and Junko backed away, fingering their weapons nervously as they peeked around Rayden's massive frame to look up the flight of stairs they had been ascending. Hunter moved forward instead of back, growling lightly as he moved up alongside Rayden.  
The Catholic vigilante shifted the wrapped-up parcel on his shoulder as he reached into his pocket for a cigarette. "It shall begin soon. You'd best find cover."  
"We have cover," Junko said as she scooted closer to Rayden's back, still peeking around his arm.  
A popping noise interrupted the tense silence as a vein appeared on the gunman's head.  
"Idiots," the Russian spat as footsteps came from the hall above. Placing the cigarette between his lips, he then pulled out his lighter/detonator and calmly lit up.  
The girls glared in annoyance at the man they were using as a shield, irritated by both his smoking right next to them, and by his seemingly apathetic attitude. The fact that he was the only thing standing between them and any incoming fire kept them quiet, however.

Finally, a figure stepped into view at the top of the stairs, and Sakura gasped before darting forward.  
"Ranma! Thank God you're-Gwah!" She let out a yelp of surprise as Rayden grabbed the back of her uniform and lifted her up into the air.  
"What are you doing? Stop it!" Sakura yelled as the super-soldier put her down on the steps behind Hunter.  
"That is not a human," Rayden said stonily as he took a long drag off of his cigarette, blowing a thick stream of smoke out of the corner of his mouth.  
Hunter snarled viciously, taking another step up the stairs.  
Robot Ranma shook his head. "Feh. This bites. Of all the robots to send to kill a couple of chicks, they send me, Mr. 'I'm so manly and chivalrous I can't hurt a girl even if she really deserves it.' Ugh."  
"Ro-Robot?" Junko asked, gaping.  
"Indeed. Mockeries of humanity seem to be all the rage in Tokyo now, or so I hear," Rayden mumbled conversationally, puffing out a few more clouds of tobacco smoke before withdrawing a sawed-off shotgun from within the folds of his trench coat. "Begone, metal doll."  
_BLAM!_ Robot Ranma skipped back to avoid the double blast, and then cocked the shotgun he had been holding under his arm.  
'I just have to draw him away from Hunter; if I try and take him down where he is, I'll get boxed in.' Dashing forward as bits of ceiling tile and twelve-gauge shot rained down from the ceiling, Robot Ranma raised his own weapon to bear.  
_Clang! Twong!_ Rayden didn't even flinch as he shifted the huge bundle on his shoulder in front of him, blocking both of Robot Ranma's opening shots with his haphazardly concealed cannon.  
Pushing forward, Rayden grabbed the bundle at the bottom end and then thrust it forward, only to have Robot Ranma jump on top of the rag-covered parcel.  
Robot Ranma dodged a swipe from Hunter's upper claws, and then leapt off of Judgment and down the stairs, flying over the heads of the huddling girls.  
Touching down on the lower level floor, Robot Ranma immediately darted around the corner, avoiding a sudden burst of fire from Rayden's submachine gun, which had been drawn during the android's leap to escape.

Rayden blew out a quick puff of smoke in annoyance as Hunter tore down the stairs and around the corner. "He's separating us. Can either of you call that creature back? I don't think it will last long against Saotome's double."  
"S-Sakura can," Junko stuttered, shaken by the lightning-quick exchange of gunfire that had blown over their heads before she had even gotten a grasp on what was happening.  
Unfortunately for all concerned, the normally cheerful blonde had apparently blown a fuse as her perceptions of reality were once again turned on their head, and was wobbling back and forth from her position on the stairs in a daze while mumbling, "Ranma trying to kill us... can't be... evil Ranma... can't be... we're all gonna die... can't be..."  
Rayden was, if for some reason the author hasn't pounded this deeply enough into your skulls, a devout Catholic. And as an almost fanatical believer in the concepts of good and just conduct, he would not leave a helpless woman to the mercies of a powerful robot that intended to kill them all.  
Luckily, like all extremely religious people, he was extremely susceptible to logic when it conveniently suited his own ends, even when that logic did not accurately reflect the reality of any given situation; in this case, the Russian super-soldier decided that Sakura was a trained and full-fledged police officer of the DAPC, a group well-known for dealing with lethal, paranormal threats, and that therefore she and the disgustingly lecherous redhead could take care of themselves, even though one of them seemed to be experiencing a mental breakdown.  
Feeling quite pleased with that rationalization, his expression shifted slightly, such that a particularly perceptive person (like, say, Cologne granted with psychic powers) might have wondered if he was smiling as he leapt down to the bottom of the stairs and then turned to run after Hunter.  
Hey, the man may be a crusader for justice, but nobody had ever mistaken Rayden Shikodan for a hero.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"SSSHRAAUGH!" Hunter shrieked as he leapt at the pigtailed android, who seemed content to hop back out of range of every lethal slash before discharging a shotgun blast into the alien's head.  
Luckily for the DAPC's loyal mascot/pet, Seras was quite ignorant about combat and capture when it didn't involve predicted incursions into carefully laid traps. He had tromped into the armory, given all the robots shotguns (reasoning that they were good for short-range, indoor combat) and grenades, given Kyle something heavier because he was super-strong but not an accomplished hand-to-hand fighter, and then separated them so that they could get to work.  
Thus, Robot Ranma possessed no weapon with enough piercing power to even make cracks in the zergling's tank armor-quality carapace. The powerful shotgun blasts were, to the zergling, the equivalent of striking one's head on the wall. Repeatedly. Which hurt, and slowed Hunter down, but Robot Ranma was quickly figuring out that there was no way he'd put down his origin's pet with the shotgun before he ran out of bullets.  
'Well then, we do this the hard way.' Robot Ranma had been reluctant to close in to melee range simply because he knew Hunter was capable of unpredictable bursts of speed, and because he was quite certain that one lucky swipe could shear straight through whatever metals Seras had managed to dig up to make his servants.  
_Crack!_ A swift kick to the side of Hunter's head sent the warbeast reeling to one side, even as his front legs and back-mounted arms lashed out fiercely to try and severe the offending limb.  
Robot Ranma skipped back and then darted in again, lashing out with several knife-hand strikes that he normally used to shatter bones, as rarely as he needed to do so. He could only land a few hits before he found himself needing to dash away from impossibly sharp, bladed talons groping for his synthetic flesh, and frankly, it quickly began to frustrate him, as he had figured out that Hunter was using his superior bulk and reach to herd the android into a corner. With the zergling's wildly thrashing limbs, getting around the beast in the narrow hallway would be difficult.  
Not to mention unwise, as he saw Rayden appear from around the corner at the opposite end of the hallway, letting the torn and ragged wrapping fall from Judgment's gleaming barrel.  
Robot Ranma was hardly out of options yet, however. The hallway he was backing down was a dead end, but there were several doors to his left and windows to his right. The doors would lead to enclosed rooms that would force his most desperate moves once Hunter cornered him, but the windows...  
The grisly scream of a .50 caliber machine gun filled the hall as Rayden fired over Hunter's head in a sweeping burst, but the bullets were wasted as Robot Ranma threw himself out the nearest window. Catching the top of the frame and heedless of the shattering glass, the android hoisted himself up and onto the outside wall, well out of Rayden's line of fire.

The Russian gunman paused to take another deep drag on his cigarette, watching Hunter carefully as the zergling growled at the broken window.  
'Saotome is too quick to shoot unless I can slow him down or force him to charge at me,' the vigilante decided. The biologically enhanced nicotine rush that came from smoking cigarettes sent his normally slightly-higher-than-average senses into overdrive, giving him a sense of aim and timing that bordered on precognition. And he STILL hadn't been able to hit Robot Ranma before he had escaped.  
Scanning the line of windows carefully, Rayden calmly walked up behind Hunter, the massive machine gun/cannon in his arms held at the ready. He knew that against a small opponent his smaller guns would be more effective, but Ranma was an accomplished melee expert, and Judgment was invaluable as a bludgeon and shield at close range.  
Despite his caution and Hunter's unique senses, the both of them were still completely surprised when the pigtailed robot crashed straight down through the ceiling and landed a crippling knee drop on Rayden's head.  
_Smack!_ Robot Ranma quickly knocked Rayden's personal cannon away as he bounced off the Russian's skull, and twisted his body around in a lightning-quick roundhouse kick that sent Rayden into the wall.  
Upon landing, Robot Ranma met with a lunging Hunter, and then jumped forward well out of the alien's reach as he threw his arms forward.  
"Game over! **Mouko takabisha**!"  
Hunter flinched backward, and Rayden pried his head out of the wall quickly, not wanting to miss what was obviously one of the famed martial arts "special techniques".  
He was quite disappointed, and Hunter quite confused, when nothing at all happened, save that Robot Ranma adopted a horrified expression while he stood with his arms stretched out in front of him, as if he was shoving an object forward.

Robot Ranma's mind was busy trying not to blow up from panic, fear, anger, and the dreadful resignation to death that occurs when one's self-loathing has reached a particularly dramatic peak.  
'I have no ki,' Robot Ranma thought, unable to believe he had gone so long without realizing it. All the other Robots had nothing but their normal senses to replicate, but Ranma's unnaturally honed alternate senses - his sixth through eleventh senses, though in explanation, most of those were for finding hidden food - were absent, and he had just discovered that the micro-fusion reactor in his chest didn't work the same as his favorite source of destructive energy.  
'No ki equals no enhanced strength to rip through steel... or zergling armor,' he thought, twitching as he saw the zergling duck into a crouch, ready to pounce. 'Or physically impossible speed to catch bullets out of the air,' he considered with a growing sense of mortality as Rayden snapped his arms to either side, causing Desert Eagle pistols to slip out of his sleeves and into his hands. 'Nothing to help cushion my thin, fragile skin from hot lead, steel-rending claws, or violent explosions. Oh, and let's not forget the special techniques! No rising dragon, ki blasts, breaking points... nothing but the Saotome Final Attack! That's pretty much the only special technique that'll work without a drop of ki! Wow! I had no idea how screwed I really am!'

To say that Hunter and Rayden were shocked at seeing a copy of the DAPC's most accomplished warrior suddenly fall to his knees and start to cry was the mother of all understatements. Hunter would have facefaulted, except that his quadraped body's center of balance made such an action nearly impossible. Rayden was far too serious and uptight to allow such a humiliating and undignified reflex as a facefault, and settled for dropping his guns in shock (much more dignified, right?).  
"WAAAAAAH! This sucks! This totally sucks! I just knew I was going to die! Copies ALWAYS die! We never win! WAAAAAAH!" Despite all his years away from his father and the life of a martial artist, Ranma had kept two of the main tenets of his lessons when growing up: Men didn't cry, and Ranma Saotome never gave up.  
Of course, he was a robot, not a man, and unlike the others, a mental affirmation that he was NOT who his memories told him he was had been hanging over his head since activation due to the real Ranma's vast self-esteem, and so he threw those principles out the window and simply decided to wallow in self-pity until someone put him out of his misery. It wasn't a dignified way to die, but then, robots didn't need dignity either, did they?  
Rayden shook his head and walked over to where Judgment had fallen, deciding to give the obviously distraught android a death as quick and sudden as the crying fit he had jumped into.  
As the Russian stooped over to pick up his weapon, he idly took out his cigarette and crushed it between his fingers before flicking it into a convenient trash receptacle. There would be no need for enhanced aim to accomplish this execution. Fighting back some small mental protest at the thought of annihilating an opponent who was sobbing on the ground while hugging his knees, Rayden leveled Judgment and prepared to fire.  
"Hey! What's going on?" Junko asked, emerging from the corner behind Ranma and stopping to a halt directly behind him, coincidentally in a perfect position to catch a few dozen bullets from heavy machine gun fire.  
A vein popped up on Rayden's head, and he had to quickly activate the safety mechanism lest he give in to temptation and fire anyway.  
"What's wrong? Why's he crying?" Sakura asked as she walked up next Junko, causing another vein to pop up on Rayden's head. Then she looked up and glared at the Russian super-soldier. "You made him cry! What did you do to him?"  
Rayden immediately began mumbling calming litanies to himself under his breath, and desperately hoped he could find robot copies of the two useless women before him during their assault so that he could satisfy his ever-growing urge to destroy them.

"Awww... there, there, what's wrong?" Junko asked as she knelt down next to Robot Ranma and put and arm over his shoulders.  
"_Sniffle!_ It's no use! I'm doomed! I was doomed as soon as I was activated! Copies never win! _Sniffle!_" Robot Ranma complained, rocking back and forth slightly as he hugged his arms to his chest.  
"Don't worry, it's okay," Sakura cooed, feeling her heart go out to the android. By now she had actually disassociated the android from Ranma better than Junko had; his attack, coupled with him curling into a ball and sobbing about being doomed, had convinced her thoroughly that this was an entirely different individual no matter what he looked like. That she managed to feel more sympathetic than afraid when faced with that individual could be entirely and justly attributed to misplaced kindness and a naive departure from reality. "You don't have to win! Everything's going to be all right!"  
Robot Ranma sniffed again. "No it's not. I've failed, and now either Rayden's gonna shoot me or Hunter's gonna eat me or Master's gonna disassemble me to make more Snake robots..." he trailed off and sniffled again. "I'm no good. Got no ki. Can't throw energy blasts, or dodge bullets that move faster than sound, or even poke things so that they explode!"  
Rayden frowned slightly at this, and turned toward Hunter (he had decided by now that the zergling was the second most competent organic being in the immediate vicinity, and thus most worthy of his conversation). "'Poke things so that they explode?' Can he really do that?"  
Hunter let out a tired hiss and shrugged.  
"Don't worry about it, we won't let anyone hurt you," Junko said, wrapping her arm tighter around Robot Ranma's neck and then pulling the android's head into her chest (her normal therapeutic method of dealing with distraught men).

Rayden's left eyebrow twitched as he watched the robotic clone suddenly start to stutter and act flustered, trying without much success to remove himself from Junko's surprisingly solid and sensual grip.  
Turning away, he tapped Hunter's leg with his foot, catching the alien's attention. "We should go. There are important things to be done, and it is apparent that destroyers such as ourselves are not needed at the moment."  
Left unsaid was the fact that there was a good chance that Robot Ranma was faking his apparent weakness, and that the android might suddenly kill both irritating females as soon as the local powerhouses were out of sight. That would be just AWFUL, and there wasn't a damn thing they could do about given that said women were protecting said murderous robot.  
Rayden very nearly cracked a smile. One way or another, he would get to leave soon, and then he could finally leave the idiot women and get back to his life of being a feared and hated killer.

"There, there... do you feel better now?" Junko asked gently, rubbing her cheek against the top of Robot Ranma's head.  
"Mrff mhfg murm," the android responded into Junko's cleavage, tickling her breasts and causing the redhead to giggle slightly.  
Sakura sweatdropped, and hoped that Seras' robots didn't need to breathe. "Well, now that this has been dealt with, shouldn't we find the real Ranma?"  
Robot Ranma put a bit more effort into prying Junko's arms loose, and managed to raise his head above the kneeling woman's breast level. "The real thing's on the first floor of the underground containment facility that Master discovered. The access hatch is in the center of the utility closet on the office floor. Master Tuko already sent Robot Asuka and Robot Kyle to deal with Ranma, but there's no way he'd lose." This last part was said rather bitterly, though the android found it very hard to be depressed with Junko's formidable assets squeezed against him.  
Sakura seemed to accept this hesitantly. "Uh... okay... but... what about you?" She noticed that Junko had frozen solid, and seemed intensely interested in something as she stared straight down while still holding Ranma close.  
"Well, assuming the others don't want to destroy me, I should be fine," Robot Ranma murmured, glad that his android body didn't seem to be reacting to Junko's stimulation; he would have had a lot of trouble keeping serious with a deep flush, or with blood coming out of his nose. "My programming allows me to drop my Master's orders if I decide that the task is impossible, so I'm really not a threat anymore."  
"Ah. How... convenient," Sakura decided cautiously, deciding not to remind the android that accomplishing his goal of killing the two intruding officers was definitely possible now that Rayden and Hunter were gone. "Junko, what are you staring at?" Leaning over slightly, the blonde got a good look at what Junko was staring at with such intensity, and she immediately colored.  
"What? What's wrong?" Robot Ranma asked, managing to struggle free even further from Junko's grasp, and looked down at his lap to see what was attracting so much attention. 'Oh. I guess my body is reacting after all.' He would have been blushing down to his toes had his skin possessed blood vessels.  
Junko's head snapped up to look at him. "You're anatomically correct?"  
Robot Ranma chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "I haven't really stopped to think about it or anything, but it looks like it."  
Sakura turned away, blushing horribly. "Uhm, well, we sh-should probably get going now..." 'I wonder if Ranma's that big when he's... excited?' She would have flushed darker, were it possible. While she had seen Ranma naked by accident, and had burned the image into her mind, he hadn't been aroused at the time.  
"Just a minute," Junko mumbled to her fellow officer while resisting a fierce urge to start prodding the object of interest to examine it further. "So, do you have blood, or what?"  
The pigtailed robot was obviously uncomfortable with this line of questioning, but when he glanced over to Sakura, the blonde merely turned away to try and hide (unsuccessfully) the fact that she had been staring. "Well, no," Robot Ranma relented. "I'm pretty sure it's hydraulic, though..." 'I wonder if I have an instruction manual somewhere. It's annoying having to guess at how your own body works.'  
Junko seemed amazed, and for some reason, quite pleased, by this answer. She turned toward Sakura.  
"You go find Rayden and lead him to the facility. I'll take care of things here," she said seriously. It was much the same way Asuka would give a command, except that coming out of Junko's mouth, nobody would have ever trusted her.  
"Er... I guess it's okay..." Sakura mumbled uncertainly, starting toward the flight of stairs hesitantly. After a moment of thought, she decided that Ranma's robot double, even if much weaker than the original, was perfectly capable of defending himself from Junko's lecherous whims.  
Okay, so she didn't really believe that. But it was a good excuse if she was questioned later.

Robot Ranma was not so easily placated, and looked about nervously as Sakura fell out of earshot.  
"Uh... so, now what? Am I free to go, or what?" the android asked cautiously.  
Rather than answering, the redheaded police officer stood up, grabbed him by the back of his shirt, and then began dragging him toward the stairs. Confused, he asked what she was doing, but was given no answer, since Junko seemed entirely occupied with mumbling about some sort of calculations to herself quietly. Something about "thrusts per second" and "impact force".  
Robot Ranma groaned as he wondered if he would have been safer having gone with Rayden instead.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seras paced back and forth across the length of his control room, attempting to think of possible contingency plans in case his current countermeasures failed.  
He wasn't having much success. Having spent the entire night rigging booby traps, building robot bodies, and adding fake wear and tear to the main office, the fatigue of a long night of work followed by a sudden burst of excitement was beginning to take a severe toll on the mad scientist. He had been planning to rest up while he sent his cybernetic minions out into Tokyo, but obviously that idea had been shot to hell.  
"Yamma, is there anything with caffeine around here?" Seras mumbled, rubbing his forehead as he leaned over the control panel to the HQ defenses. Defenses that were severely inadequate, because he had spent his time and budget making the utility corridors beneath the HQ building look like authentic dungeon tunnels instead of installing more video cameras or stun turrets.  
"No, nothing with caffeine. All you keep is booze, remember?" the dark-skinned man held up a bottle of scotch. "You want a drink? It's been a while since you've had any." Personally, the assistant medical officer was hoping to return Seras to full inebriation as soon as possible. While he didn't care one whit about the men and women of the DAPC who Seras was using as pawns, having to work as a mad scientist's lone henchman was a lot harder than poking at dead people while everyone else forgot you existed.  
Seras snorted and waved away the bottle. "No, no more for me. I've been a fool, Yamma. For years and years I drowned my intellect in that swill, allowing those ignorant cretins to order me around like some filthy servant! Imagine! ME, whose mind is without equal, serving under those imbeciles! ME, who can create sentient artificial life at will! ME, who alone holds the secrets of positronic energy! I am the master of cybernetics, and no man may call himself my superior!"  
_Krackaboom!_ A flash of lighting lanced downward from the small raincloud that perpetually hung over the HQ/dark laboratory, briefly lighting up the room even further (as it was already properly lit).  
Seras turned around and started hitting keys quickly on the keyboard of his console, which didn't actually do anything useful, but really added flavor and energy to his rant. "Only two men may dare consider themselves equal to me! And even those fools Deth and Konta will soon bend knee before my might! Annihilating those idiots that called themselves police officers will be the first test of my genius, but soon, all of Tokyo will be-"  
_Slam!_  
Seras jumped slightly at the sound of a door slamming shut, and turned to look at the door that led to the main HQ building. "Yamma? Where'd you go? I'm not done yet!"  
"Actually, yes. You ARE done."

Beads of sweat started to appear along Seras' brow, and he slowly turned around toward the door that led to the main access hallway, and by extension, the elevator to the containment blocks.  
Asuka stood in front of the door, her arms crossed over her chest and a cold, deadly expression on her face. Flanking her on one side was Ranma, who had his hands in his pockets casually, but was glowing with a thin blue aura as he glared at the mad scientist. On her other side was Tiro and Tycho, who looked decidedly less dangerous in expression, but wielded a shotgun and an M2 machine gun, respectively.  
"Ah, uhm, er..." Seras stuttered nervously as he processed this new development, his exhausted mind in no condition to suddenly deal with self-preservation. "What a... surprise... to see you all here."  
"I imagine it is," Asuka said evenly. "I'll give it you straight, Tuko. We are going to blast our way through any last-ditch countermeasures you have. Then we're going to seize you. Then we are going to beat you savagely. Then we are going to force-feed you alcohol until you're completely wasted. Then we are going to beat you some more. After all that, you will begin cleaning up these facilities and go back to your usual tasks as DAPC medical officer under severely reduced pay."  
Ranma poked her in the shoulder, and Asuka turned toward him. "You forgot about him giving us the codes to get Kyle free."  
The blue-haired woman remained silent as she turned back to Seras. "... We'll see." She wasn't really planning on leaving Kyle in a cell for long, of course, but it had been rather nice not to have to deal with him for this entire operation. Hearing about Ranma's tactic for defeating her robot clone might have also had something to do with it. 'He got me killed! That cretin!'  
Seras, for his part, was carefully backing away toward his security terminal, fighting the urge to kick himself. He might've forgotten about the one contingency measure he had put into place if Asuka hadn't brought up the subject. "How kind of you to relent from killing or imprisoning me, after I tried to do both to you. But I'm afraid I'll have to decline your generosity." Lashing out quickly, he slapped a large green button on his personal console.  
_Shoomf!_ A giant, clear pane of glass suddenly fell down from the ceiling, blocking off Seras' half of the control room from the four disgruntled officers.  
"Ha ha ha! How do you like that?" The scientist crowed. "Bullet-proof glass! You're trapped again! All that, all for... for..." he stopped laughing as the others continued staring at him with the same expressions. "What? What's wrong?"  
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Bullet-proof glass won't stop rounds from a Browning M2, moron. Or just about any heavy machine gun, for that matter."  
Seras remained silent for a moment. "Oh." There was another pregnant pause. "If it's all the same to you, I think I'm going to start running now."  
In response, Ranma took his hands out of his pockets, both of which flared brightly with blue light. "**Mouko takabisha**!"

Ignoring the sound of armored glass being vaporized, and being extremely thankful that Asuka seemed reluctant to just kill him with a burst of machine gun fire, Seras dashed for the door that would lead back to the HQ.  
_Wham!_ He was knocked off his feet as the door suddenly burst open and smashed into his head, sending him sprawling backward onto the floor.  
After shaking off the sudden vertigo, the scientist squeaked in fright. Stepping through the door was a giant Russian man wearing a trench coat. One of his hands held a gigantic gun securely over his shoulder, while the other held Yamma about a foot off the ground. Snaking around the vigilante's legs was Hunter, while behind him, Sakura was poking her head around Rayden's other side.  
Rayden stared down at the gibbering man on the floor, then faced the wiry man he was holding up by the shirt. "So, he is the cause of all this? Then who are you?"  
Yamma looked toward the trembling man on the ground, and then up into the cold stare of the Russian who held him. "Me? Nobody important."  
As he was carelessly tossed to the side, Yamma profusely thanked God for his inherent forgetability.  
Seras started scrambling backward, and then whimpered as he felt Ranma grab the back of his shirt and lift him into the air.  
Asuka nodded sharply, then turned toward Rayden. "I don't really know what you're doing here Shikodan, but thanks for the assist. Did you meet up with Ranma's double?"  
Rayden's left eyebrow twitched. "That one has been... taken care of."  
"Good. If you'd like to hang around longer, feel free, but I believe this situation has been contained." She turned around and glared meaningfully at Seras before she started to crack her knuckles.  
Seras gulped deeply, desperately searching for something, anything, to delay the inevitable pain. "W-Wait! Where's Snake? Did he survive?"  
Everyone actually stopped to consider this, and Asuka shrugged.  
"Possibly. If that robot copy was good enough, they might have destroyed each other. As long as there aren't two of them alive by the end of the day, I can live with it," the bluette muttered while rubbing her chin.  
As if on cue, the door to the hallway opened.

"Dude! And then we blew it up with the tank! That was awesome!" Robot Snake said, laughing as he walked into the room with his arm hooked around Snake's neck. There were several torn sections in his abdomen, and he appeared to be leaking oil very slowly.  
"Yeah, that was totally cool! And after that I blew up the testing facility! Nobody even knew I put bombs in there! How sweet was that?" Snake chuckled, his arm in the same position around Robot Snake. He was walking with a slight limp, and his shirt was scorched.  
Both Snakes stopped to take in the collection of people in the control room, and their gaze fell on Rayden. "Hey, look, it's the Catholic guy!" Snake said, waving his free hand. "Hey Catholic guy! What's up? How's the crusade comin'? Kill any vile heretics lately?"  
Rayden snorted and rolled his eyes. "Jews," he mumbled under his breath.  
Robot Snake suddenly licked his lips. "Man, you know, I could really go for some WD-40 right about now. How 'bout you?"  
"A martini would really hit the spot, actually," Snake agreed as the pair walked through the hole that had been burned in the wall of bullet-proof glass. "You know that bar down on Minato Street?"  
"Dude! Of course I do! That place is great!" Robot Snake replied as the two passed by the captured Seras without giving him a second glance.  
Seras panicked. "Robot! I command you to-GURK!" He was cut short as Ranma forced two fingers into his neck, pressing a pressure point that cut off his voicebox.  
Still ignoring the captured scientist, as well as everyone else in the room, the pair of identical gunmen walked past Hunter and out the doorway back to the access area. On the way, Robot Snake hooked the edge of the door with his foot and pulled it shut behind them.  
There was a moment of almost perfect silence, ruined only by Seras' painful wheezing.  
"Huh. I guess Snake's okay after all," Ranma mumbled.  
Asuka threw her head back to scream at the heavens. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Bots trashed: 4  
Vaults busted: 2 (Ranma got the other one later; Seras was too drunk to remember the codes)  
Androids recruited for... other purposes: 2  
Evil plots foiled: 1

End Chapter 22


	23. Me, Myself, and Junko

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Alpha Squad 7, the New Tek Janson Adventures is the property of Comedy Central and Stephen Colbert, all hail the mighty pundit.  
Not that it has anything to do with the story; I just thought you'd like to know.  
This chapter contains gratuitous violence and gore; even more than usual! Also a bit more limey than is normal. As of this chapter I'm upgrading this story's rating to 'R' on Despite all this, even the most hideous parts are still more funny than dark. I wish I knew how I did that...

Guardian  
Chapter 23  
Me, Myself, and Junko

"He's over this way!"  
"Quick! Surround him!"  
"Be careful! Spread apart and fire on sight! Don't let him get the drop on you!"

Calvin "Wolf" Asmodeus clicked his tongue as he heard the local police give away their positions down the network of alleys that ran through the poverty-stricken sectors of Rostock.  
"This is not how I imagined my return to Germany after so many years..." he mumbled in Japanese, which was an annoying habit from working in the far east for so long.  
Dodging around several huddled groups of dirty, homeless vagrants that huddled beneath blankets as the police scoured the alleys, Wolf made his way toward an alleyway that he knew to be a dead end.

A group of German police officers, all of them armed with submachine guns and looking rather eager to use them, charged around an alley corner a moment later, grinding to a halt almost immediately.  
The leader of the small mob, a man dressed in a black business suit and wielding a pistol with both hands, slowly took a few tentative steps forward. The alley was relatively dark, with a single light fixture over one of the back doors that had been boarded shut to prevent unauthorized entry into the buildings. The end of the alley terminated as a fifteen-foot brick wall that the assembled men figured no man could climb in the time their prey's lead had afforded him. Though old, the single light did a fairly good job of revealing all the figures grouped in the alley, and the man in black snarled as he looked upon three people cowering in the corner, wrapped in blankets.  
"You there! Remove those blankets! Now!" The man shouted in German, aiming his weapon and gesturing for several police officers to join him. The figures stiffened, but didn't move to follow his orders.  
Several men rushed forward and aimed their weapons at the figures, though each of them were mumbling prayers to themselves. None of them wanted to have to fire at civilians, and much more importantly, none of them wanted to be part of the squad that finally managed to corner this man. None of them really knew anything about the individual they were chasing, except that the few government agents who were leading the search had said he was extremely dangerous, and capable of killing armed men with ease.  
After some hushed whispering, the blanket fell down onto the thin layer of mud that caked the sewer grate the trio was gathered over.  
"Please! D-Don't shoot!" A relatively old woman stuttered frightfully, her hands shaking in the air as two young boys grasped her sides and cried softly into her dress.  
The leader scowled. He knew Wolf's profile inside and out; the mercenary had several talents, but disguise was not among them. "A man just ran in here! Where did he go?" The federal agent shouted, thrusting his pistol forward menacingly. The surrounding police winced, but held their peace.  
The woman simply shook her head as she clutched her head between her hands. "No! I... I c-can't! He... He..."  
None of the assembled officers had the training or natural ability to sense the faint whistling noise of sleek metal objects sailing through the cold evening air, and thus nobody noticed the projectiles sailing toward them until one happened to see one of the weapons gleaming in the moonlight by sheer chance. He didn't have time to shout a warning.  
_Fsht! Thack! Whp!_ Like a veritable rain of steel, knives sailed down from above and struck the officers' weapons, knocking them from their grip and sometimes cutting the guns clean in half.  
As he heard his men shouting, the federal agent whirled around, scowling as he saw the officers scatter toward the walls of the alley, looking upward in terror.  
_Tak!_ Then he heard someone land behind him, and tried to whirl back around, only to find a knife to his throat and his gun arm being held in an iron grip.  
A slight twist sent a yelp of pain from the man's lips and sent his weapon clattering to the ground. It also attracted the attention of the police officers, who immediately regained some small portion of their shattered nerve and scrambled for the weapons on the ground that had been damaged lightly enough to still be usable.  
Wolf gave the men a disdainful look from behind his sunglasses. Then he twisted the agent's arm further. "You," he mumbled in German, "pick up the radio. Call your other squads and tell them what I tell you, or you'll bleed to death in this alley."  
The federal man swallowed nervously, cringing when he realized that the slight movement of his throat caused his flesh to meet the edge of the blade ever-so-slightly. "Wh-What are you g-going to do to me?"  
"Nothing, if you cooperate," Wolf replied evenly, making sure it was loud enough for the trembling police officers to overhear. "I haven't been paid to kill you, so I'd prefer if I didn't have to."  
At seeing several of the officers relax slightly, Wolf rolled his eyes. 'And to think, I'm going to have to go through this nonsense in America too. Oy. I'm glad I caught up with my sisters before I infiltrated the research complex. Igov's going to pay at least half again what he offered.'  
"Now pick up the radio and get ready to turn it on. Ah! Not yet! Good. Now here's what you're going to say..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"But Ray-kun, why are you in such a hurry?" Junko asked morosely, her hands clasped timidly in front of her waist in a docile pose that wasn't fooling anybody. "Do you have to leave so soon?"  
Rayden stopped on his way to the coat closet, noting that Junko had placed herself in-between the wall of her apartment and her sofa.  
Grabbing the edge of the sofa, Rayden casually shoved it over, sending the hundred-pound piece of furniture toppling onto its front. This immediately created more space in the narrow path than Junko could fill with her body, and the Russian quickly stepped past her, not even allowing himself to touch elbows with the redhead.  
Junko's left eyebrow twitched slightly at the frigid display. She was well aware that she wasn't Rayden's favorite person in the world, but the guy was colder than an arctic fish. Plus he had just broken her coffee table with her sofa.  
Rayden opened the coat closet and reached for Judgment, which had been once again wrapped in rags. He already wore his trench coat - he hadn't stayed long enough to warrant taking off his coat - but he didn't trust leaving his main weapon out of his sight without some minor impediment to Junko stashing it away again.  
Grabbing a hold of the cannon, Rayden tugged it out... and then blinked in surprise as a body suddenly toppled forward from behind the assorted jackets and fell face-first onto the floor.  
Rayden cocked his head to the side. Ranma's robot double laid on the floor, unmoving. Looking up, he saw that his former host was blushing slightly, clearly a bit embarrassed at this turn of events.  
"He, uh, has a switch in the back under his pigtail that I found that turns him on and off. And, well, it's not like we can just let him wander around Tokyo on his own, so..."  
Rayden dismissed her excuses and leaned down to feel for the switch. He had been mildly curious as to Robot Ranma's fate, but like everybody except the resident lechers (who didn't know about the android's fate), had feared a detailed explanation of what had happened to him.  
Finding the hidden knob, he pressed it gently, feeling the protrusion shift slightly to one side.  
"GWAH!! No! No more!" Robot Ranma suddenly shouted, curling up into a ball and rolling into Rayden's legs. "Please, Mistress! Have mercy! Just let me rest!"  
Rayden raised an eyebrow, and then looked up at Junko. Junko rolled her eyes.  
'Hmph. Like it was MY fault he couldn't enjoy it. Stupid Seras didn't put any thought into the possible uses of nerve endings...' The redhead had found Robot Ranma's performance to be quite enjoyable, and had no intentions of restraining herself whatever the android had to say about it, but it stung her a bit that there appeared to be nothing she could do to get him to actually like sex.  
Rayden, as usual, found the scenario to be idiotic, and was entirely unsympathetic when Robot Ranma realized who he was and clamped onto his leg.  
"Please! You gotta get me out of here! She'll tear off my clothes and... and... it's horrible! She's totally insatiable! The woman is-" He stopped talking and slumped back onto the floor as Rayden slapped the switch again.  
Without another word, he lifted the android back up and propped him against the wall of the coat closet once again.  
After closing the door, the Russian headed for the exit.  
"_Sigh!_ So lonely," Junko moaned, sitting down on the bottom of her upturned couch while slumped over, "to think, the one man in my life who meant more to me than a quick ride in the sack is leaving me... and for what?"  
She ALMOST had him. Rayden clenched his teeth and started to turn back around. The only thing that delayed the scathing retort on his lips, that would have provoked a long and meaningless argument that would have culminated in him staying there for another day for Junko's personal amusement, was Judgment bumping into a shelf and knocking off one of the scented candles.  
His angry tirade forgotten, Rayden deftly caught the object and calmly put it back into place before turning back toward the front door. Internally he berated himself for nearly giving in to her taunts when he was so close to finally leaving.  
_Slam!_

Junko winced as the hinges rattled slightly, and then went about sitting her couch back up.  
"Oh well. Had to try," she mumbled to herself. As they had spent a lot of time together and she had pried more of his life story out of him by patience and sheer will, she had decided she rather liked the Russian man. That he apparently loathed her to the core was unfortunate, but not nearly as relevant as one might think.  
Oh, she didn't like him the way she liked pretty much every guy who wasn't either a total jerk or completely hideous; not that she would have been opposed to that kind of relationship, but Rayden was one of the relatively few men who were. For her, platonic friends were far more rare than her lovers were common, and she genuinely enjoyed hearing about Rayden's life. She just knew that if she could get him to lighten up a bit that he'd like her too. Or at least he wouldn't react to her lighthearted teasing with well-disguised rage.  
She had friends at work, but outside of their common occupation, she didn't spend much time with them. This was for good reason, but she could hardly let any of them know what that reason was, save maybe Ranma. Everybody assumed that she harassed the pigtailed man so often just because he was the most attractive male in the department. Which certainly helped, but wasn't the real reason she kept hanging off the DAPC's premiere martial artist. In fact, if anything, her rampant sex drive was an impediment to securing a deep friendship with Ranma, and it irritated her deeply that she had so little control.  
She sighed. "It's never easy. I should hurry up and get to work..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!" Snake shouted out of his bullhorn into the faces of the assembled DAPC officers. "IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU FOLKS!! HOW Y'ALL DOIN'? KICK BACK AND PREPARE TO BE AMAZED, PEOPLE!! BECAUSE TODAY-"  
The weapons officer stumbled forward slightly as the bullhorn was wrenched out of his hands, and nearly fell forward off of the crate he was standing on.  
Asuka tossed the bullhorn on the floor while she twisted a finger in her ear with her other hand. "Knock it off. We're right in front of you." The other officers, who were gathered around Snake such that no one was further than two meters away, all nodded firmly as they removed their hands from over their ears. "Now hurry up and tell us what it is you wanted to show us."  
"Fine. Ruin the mood. See what I care," Snake mumbled irritably. "As some of you may have noticed, I was conspicuously absent the last few days following the robot incident."  
Ranma blinked, then nodded as he rubbed his chin. "Now that you mention it, it HAS been a while since I was last on fire..."  
Sakura raised her hand to speak. "Actually, we were all kind of surprised your neighborhood was still standing after Robot Snake started living there. What happened to him, anyway?"  
Snake blinked. "Oh. Him. Well, after having a long discussion with the captain, which mostly involved me being held out a window and her threatening to let go, it was decided that for the benefit of all involved, he should find work elsewhere. Preferably on another continent."  
Tycho raised an eyebrow. "So, what, he just left?"  
"I found him a position," Snake explained dubiously, "on another continent, as requested. Let's just say he's probably doing more good than harm and leave it at that."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Pope Snake, after your sudden return to the Vatican, you issued some statements at the following press conference that elicited some... discontent, if you will, among the Muslim nations," a cardinal said tenderly.  
Robot Snake, looking especially grand in his gold-embroidered robe and holy miter, just rolled his eyes. "REALLY? The ISLAMIC world is upset about something? And they're normally so humble and mild-mannered, too!" His voice dripping with sarcasm, he went back to throwing darts across the room at a picture of Iran's president. "Find the leaders of this newest whinefest and have them brutally executed immediately." He threw a few darts in rapid succession, nailing both eyes and the middle of the nose.  
The cardinal and the bishop behind him both winced. "Uhm... your holiness, we have neither the jurisdiction nor the means to execute people."  
Robot Snake stopped throwing darts, and fixed the two holy men with a dark glare. "What? What about our secret assassin cult?"  
The cardinal sighed. "Once AGAIN, your holiness, the Vatican doesn't HAVE a secret cult of assassins."  
"We don't? Are you saying the entire Hellsing manga series was a lie?" The android demanded.  
Both of the other men blinked. Then the cardinal shrugged. "Not the WHOLE thing... but that part about Section XIII certainly isn't true."  
Robot Snake considered this. "And the Nazi vampires?"  
"Our involvement with them was SEVERELY overstated," the Cardinal quickly assured him.  
"Bah! Then we'll need to create a secret cult of assassins! Who ever heard of a global organization without its own death squads? There are people who need killing, and I'm too busy to do it myself!"

Wincing, the bishop quickly pulled the cardinal down so that they could speak privately while the Pope was still ranting about the advantages of assassin cults.  
"Cardinal, I know that such an idea is just short of blasphemy, but... I think the Pope is a robot," he finally admitted, looking quite nervous.  
The cardinal frowned deeply. "Actually, the thought had crossed my mind as well... we'll just see about that..."

Clearing his throat, the cardinal interrupted Robot Snake just as he had been going into detail about shuriken that could be modeled to look like crosses.  
"Pardon me, your holiness, but I recently received word that Iranian troops scavenging in Iraq blew up a troop transport and killed a dozen American marines. Will you be condemning them?"  
_Fsht!_ Little sparks shot out of Robot Snake's ears as an expression of inarticulate rage contorted his features. A moment later his eyes suddenly glowed a blazing red, as if his anger was conjuring demonic force.  
"DESTROY!! DESTROY!! TERMINATE!! OBLITERATE!! ANNIHILATE!!" He started chanting rhythmically as he stalked forward. Then he stopped and turned toward the picture of the Iranian president. "KILL!!" With that pronouncement, he turned and punched straight through the wall, ripping easily through the poster and creating cracks all along the wall surrounding his fist.

This bishop stared, then sighed. "Ah. My mistake. I guess it really is him."

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"Anyhoo, moving on," Snake said as everybody finished wondering what a Snake clone could possibly do that wouldn't be detrimental to society, "I was with a couple of buddies of mine, describing some of the talents of certain individuals in our department."  
Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked toward his audience. They all favored him with blank, expectant expressions except Asuka.  
She rolled her eyes. "I assume you're referring to Ranma and Kyle's supernatural strength?" The blue-haired woman asked.  
"I've got more than just strength," Ranma insisted, always eager to distinguish himself from some kind of super-thug. "I can do lots of stuff. Like poking stuff so that it explodes."  
"Knock it off Saotome, nobody believes you," Snake said automatically. Nobody knew how Ranma had managed to escape his cell so easily, or how he had gotten Kyle out of his cell (including Kyle himself, naturally). Honestly, nobody cared. The simple fact was that Ranma could perform ancient Chinese voodoo or something that was apparently an extension of the art of kicking people really hard. That was all his teammates needed to know about it to accept it, and they gladly reveled in their ignorance.  
"Anyway, Captain's right. Saotome and especially Kyle are strong enough now that frankly, giving them normal guns is a waste of time." Snake raised an eyebrow at the flabbergasted expressions of his teammates. Understandable; it was rare for him to admit any weakness or limitation in modern technology, especially in his favored realm of firearms. "This is simple tactical sense. Give Saotome a shotgun, and it's not like it's any more dangerous in his hands than mine. A bit less dangerous, probably. Me and some pals of mine put our heads together and tried to think of a way to put that muscle to work."  
Turning around, he withdrew one of the smaller boxes sitting on top of the pile of crates. Then he turned toward Ranma and opened the case.  
"Inspired by vampire-hunting anime, and resulting in the second tribute to this particular comic series this chapter, I give you the 13 mm. Jackal."  
Ranma blinked at the gigantic black pistol that sat in the velvet-lined case. It was quite a bit bigger than any of the handguns in the armory.  
"Thirty-nine centimeters long and weighing sixteen kilograms, even I'd need both hands and firm platform to fire it. For Saotome, I'm guessing that it's just enough to make him feel the kick. The rounds are custom deals; AP heads with explosive tips. One round can take a mauler's head clean off."  
The pigtailed man took up the pistol in his hand, marveling at the weight of it. Still, he doubted that anything smaller than a large rifle could blast a K-type's head off in one shot.  
Tiro observed the weapon skeptically. "So are the bullets blessed? The bullets are supposed to be blessed."  
"Yeah, well, we deal with all sorts of stuff around here, so I kind of had to go the variety pack route as far as blessings are concerned. Naturally you've got your 'basic' slugs, but I also snooped around to try and get something special," Snake explained, picking up a second box and opening it. This one held numerous clips of ammunition. He picked up one of them and held it up, revealing a cross etched onto the side. "Silver bullets blessed by a Catholic priest." He picked up another one, this one with an obscure kanji scrawled onto the side. "Cold iron bullets empowered by a Shinto priestess." The next one had a stick figure with a swollen head scratched into it. "Brass bullets ensorcelled by a Voodoo shaman." Then he picked up the top clip from the last stack, revealing the Star of David etched into it. "And gilded bullets blessed by a Jewish rabbi."  
Ranma blinked along with everyone else. "Jewish bullets? What am I supposed to shoot with those?"  
"Nazis," Snake answered seriously.  
The pigtailed boy scratched his chin as he stared at his new gun. "So... would it hurt them more or something?"  
"No, it's just more ironic that way."  
Snake turned back toward the crates and picked up a larger box, bringing it around and prying the lid open. "Also, once Tonoda heard you were a Ninja, he insisted on this stuff."  
Ranma's left eyebrow twitched as he observed the two shining kodachi blades that were settled in among some thin clumps of hay. "I'm not a Ninja," he groused. Ninjas were assassins who skulked about in the dark and stabbed people in the back, not proper martial artists.  
Which wasn't to say that he couldn't or hadn't done those things in the past, but they were a "plan B" sort of tactic.  
"Yeah, whatever," Snake didn't really care about the subtle differences in the various classes of Japanese fighters, and made no effort to hide his ambivalence, "these things are called kodachi. They're supposed to be halfway between a dagger and a short sword."  
Ranma, being more familiar with melee weapons than Snake could ever hope to be, rolled his eyes and gestured for the American to get on with it.  
"The blades are titanium, and they've been given a new kind of weapons treatment developed for nano-surgical implements called 'mono-molecular edging'. The idea is that the very edge of the blade is extremely close to being one molecule thick."  
Ranma considered this approvingly. He didn't know much about molecules or atoms, but he knew that the smaller the surface area of the blade edge, the easier it cut, and one molecule thick seemed pretty damn small. "How'd they manage that?"  
Snake shrugged. "It's a very complex process involving lasers, pneumatic compresses, sledgehammers, and a lax interpretation of the phrase 'extremely close to'."  
The pigtailed man sweatdropped. "Well, thanks anyway."  
"Moving right along," Snake said, shoving the smaller boxes of Ranma's ammo off a particularly long crate on the floor, "after I got a glimpse of that whopper of a gun the Catholic guy carries around, I thought, 'Why doesn't Tekai have something like that?'"  
"Because he's not bright enough to be given access to that kind of power?" Asuka asked, though her expression made it clear that it wasn't a question. She still hadn't forgotten Ranma's story of how he had used Kyle's stupidity to dispatch Asuka's robot double.  
Snake shook his head. "If we all let that kind of common sense cloud our judgment, nothing would ever get blown up. So I took it upon myself to order this thing."  
Prying off the top of the large crate, Snake gestured to Kyle. "C'mon and take it out. I can't lift this thing."  
The blonde man moved to help, and reached into the crate to grab onto whatever his hands could find.  
Once he lifted it out of the container, the others could only stare in confusion. He carried a massive cylinder nearly five feet long and nearly two feet long in diameter that appeared to be made from several machines pressed together and held in place within a steel framework of bars and levers.  
"This is the Kujo 4B Mobile Armory. It's over half a metric ton of heavy weaponry and ammunition all crammed into a carrier that can be transported into battle the same way Catholic boy carts around that cannon of his. Here, lay it on its side," Snake directed.  
Kyle did as instructed, marveling at finally carrying something that felt like it had weight behind it. Though he had adapted quickly to being super-human, he was still rather annoyed at having to constantly gauge and limit his strength to prevent himself from destroying everyday objects by accident.  
Snake pulled a latch on the side of the Kujo 4B, and two large blocks popped out on either end. "These are the main feature, two XM-400 miniguns. There are a lot of design flaws that make them completely unusable to normal people who have to worry about things like their arms being torn apart from the force, but it should work just fine for you."  
Kyle cocked his head to one side. "Why are there two of them? In case I lose one?"  
The weapons officer rolled his eyes. "No, dimwit. Ranma said that Seras had your droid double firing two heavy machine guns at once with reasonable accuracy. I don't see why you can't do it too."  
"Firing a minigun one-handed?" Asuka asked incredulously.  
"And unsupported," Snake said while nodding. "These weapons are made to be carried around while being fired."  
"Are you crazy?"  
"My sanity is not in question here," Snake said firmly, not answering the question. "Now let's hurry up and see them test-fired. I want to see how quickly 6000 RPM can destroy a car."

That was Asuka's cue to massage her head irritably and then wander off to her office while muttering about her subordinates, and she wasted no time in doing so.  
She was mildly surprised when Ranma broke off from the weapons demonstration to follow her, though once she gave the matter a moment of thought, she recalled what it was he likely wanted to speak with her about.  
"Well Saotome, I gave your recommendation some serious thought," Asuka began, turning suddenly as Ranma stopped and straightened.  
"And?" He asked hopefully.  
The blue-haired woman nodded. "And I approve. Since Tuko finished cleaning up the lobby and the basement, we've had him contact some people in order to have the subterranean containment facilities rebuilt and a proper access elevator installed. Once that's complete, we'll have plenty of room to build your training hall." Then she rubbed her chin. "I'm glad we have a full containment facility now so that we can actually apprehend and contain targets indefinitely instead of destroying them on sight, but I still can't figure out how Seras managed to build that entire system of containment cells in one night... unless he'd been plotting this for a while..."  
"Yeah, that must be it," Ranma mumbled, not bothering to share what Seras had explained to him about the DAPC's origins. It wasn't like anybody cared. "But you like the idea?"  
"Hand-to-hand training is more important for us than most given the nature of our usual opponents. I know you used to give Chikiko and Tekai lessons before." Then she frowned. "How did that work out, anyway?"  
"Have you seen either of them body-slam anybody recently?" Ranma asked, rolling his eyes. "Really, Junko has a lot of potential, but their heart isn't in it. Neither of them are aggressive enough to learn even the basic structures of Anything-Goes, and I don't know enough about any other specific styles in order to teach somebody."  
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Not aggressive enough?"  
"Anything-Goes is an offensive style," Ranma explained, "in more ways than one, actually. I suspect it was really developed to help thieves and perverts do their thing, and then fight their way out when necessary." It had certainly made sense when he gave the subject enough thought. The way stealth and agility were core tenets. The way the school specialized in aerial and high-speed combat, and included techniques for fighting while running away. The way that the most powerful Anything-Goes user was Happousai, a wanderer who did little else besides petty evils. The way that the weakest was Soun, who had actually possessed the decency required to start a family and live a relatively law-abiding life. And finally there was Genma, who was somewhere in-between both power-wise and ethics-wise, and the most powerful advancements he made in Anything-Goes had been developed for the purposes of burglarly.  
Ranma shook his head. "Anyway, my style is for attack, not self-defense, and I don't see the girls rushing forward to punch out a mutant anytime soon."  
Asuka nodded, seconding the opinion. She was fairly certain neither of them could be trained well enough to be anything more than a combat liability anyway. "What about me?"  
Ranma blinked. Twice. "You? What about you?"  
"I wouldn't mind learning your combat style," the police captain mused, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.  
"But... you already kick ass," Ranma mumbled, caught flat-footed by the request.  
Asuka wasn't sure what to think of that comment. Coming from Ranma it meant a lot more than most people, since Ranma neither gave out baseless flattery, nor did he have reasonable standards for what it means to "kick ass".  
Preening just a bit at the comment, she smiled at her subordinate. "Well, thank you. But all I know as far as hand-to-hand combat is Karate and some Judo. I don't expect to be able to leap atop buildings or anything, but I would like to be able to kill a smaller mutant bare-handed. I was under the impression that all martial arts were for self-defense or emergencies, but this 'Anything-Goes' style sounds perfect."  
Ranma thought it over. Asuka had the aggressive energy of Akane, the tactical sense and control of Ukyo, and a self-confidence that outstripped them both, even if it didn't approach his own. Which didn't make her ideal for the Anything-Goes style, as she was entirely sane and far too ethical, but he could work around that. She wasn't as tough as either of his old fiancees either, but correcting that would just have to be part of the training.  
"Sure, I'll see what I can do," the pigtailed man said cheerfully, already imagining the types of machines that could be put into the training area to simulate some good endurance training. Something like the **bakusai tenketsu** trick, but with padding so that normal people would be knocked silly rather than having their bones ground up into powder. Not only would it let him train Asuka to the point where she could survive getting hit by a truck, but with a little practice himself, hopefully he could finally get the actual technique to work reliably.

Asuka sweatdropped as Ranma started chuckling darkly and rubbing his hands together like some sort of cartoon villain. Apparently he was really looking forward to this.

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"Gwrk!" The security guard yelped as he was slammed bodily into a wall, and felt searing pain shoot up and down his back as he felt the wall and his body start a short contest to see which would buckle first under the intense pressure.  
The terrorist holding him up grinned viciously as he applied more pressure to the man's chest, where he was holding his shirt in his fist. With his other hand, he gripped the pistol that the guard had wielded just moments prior.  
_Crunch!_ Closing his fist around the small, standard-issue weapon, the handgun crumpled in his grip like tinfoil.  
The terrified guard saw this, and then glanced at the man's shoulder, where he had taken a round during the charge. The bullet was still there, pressed into the small ring of blood that surrounded the "wound" (if one could even consider it worthy of the term).  
Still smirking insufferably, the terrorist dropped the ruined handgun and then used that free hand to flick the bullet off of his shoulder, revealing a shallow tear in the skin beyond the bloody hole in his shirt.  
"You call that pop-gun a weapon? Might as well give you clowns slingshots," the man growled behind his smirk, flexing the muscles of his free arm. Then he reared back that fist in preparation to punch.  
_Crunch!_ The sound of a human skull being crushed into little fragments was accompanied by the sound of the wall behind the skull being crushed into equally small bits.

The terrorist was still smiling gleefully as he yanked his arm out of the wall, and casually shook off the bits of human gore that now decorated his knuckles.  
Then he brought his arms up as he flexed again. 'Konta's amazing! He was absolutely right! I'm freakin' invincible! This is incredible!'  
Behind him, the sergeant in charge of this particular raid smirked lazily as he lit up a cigarette. He didn't mind the carnage; in fact, it made for a good show considering the surveillance they were under by both their superiors in the Freedom's Angels and the authorities who were no doubt already hacking into those same systems in place.  
Alexandra Tokima had demanded a test of Yoshi's long-awaited genetic enhancement project, and after a bit of prodding, his men had obliged, reluctantly going through the twenty-four hour conversion process and fearing the worst.  
They did as they were told, though. Most of the Freedom's Angels chose terrorism as a career because they had nothing left to lose.  
The results had left those men nearly in tears (the good kind): improved strength, endurance and nearly bullet-proof skin had been granted, and as far as they could tell, they were otherwise the same.  
Yoshi had said there might be... other side effects, but confided that he really doubted that even with the mutations, that they'd live long enough for those effects to be a problem even if they did manifest.  
That Yoshi. What a kidder.

"Did you get 'em all?" The sergeant asked a younger man who was irritably poking around in his bullet-ridden abdomen; the softer skin there meant that the wounds were still problematic, even if they were unlikely to be fatal.  
"Yeah, we did," the other terrorist said. "Yahomu is moving the T-virus stuff into the main pump and Kikama is contacting the authorities." Then he frowned. "Why're all these guys armed? They don't look like JSDF or Core units."  
The sergeant shrugged. "Actually, they are JSDF. Not a very well-trained branch, but the government's gotten paranoid enough that they're guarding water stations and power plants with armed men now. Of course, they hardly know what to do with a gun, but whatcha gonna do?"  
The subordinate winced as he found a hole that was too deep for him to pull the bullet out with his fingers. 'I can't imagine what this would be like without pain dampeners... that Konta guy is amazing... Still, gotta find some tweezers, and soon.' "Hmph. Their aim's fine, if you ask me."  
The terrorist leader simply shook his head and took the time to appreciate how feeble the security actually was when faced with military-grade weaponry and organization. Discounting the fact that the force was composed of genetically enhanced humans, of course. Core in Japan was akin to America's Marine Corp. - if not much better equipped and much smaller - though they only operated within the country's major cities. The JSDF was the equivalent of the United States National Guard, in both function and competency, though they gladly yielded protection of main cities to Core. The lesser branches of the JSDF... well, they were more akin to militia when it came to armaments and training. As in the armaments sucked, and training was optional. His men had fared very well when taking torso shots from some of the weakest handguns on the planet. He didn't know how their "bullet resistance" would stand up to Core's autorifles, and it was his hope not to find out.  
Glancing over the railing to his left, he looked at the huge stainless steel canal and the thousands of gallons of water that rushed through it nonstop. And he grinned. If the authorities cooperated, the Freedom's Angels would get a good chunk of funding and General Yuchtzky would have to call back the assault on the Takoyama prison for fear of getting pinned down. The authorities weren't expected to cooperate.  
"Hold your positions and get ready to dump the zombie juice! We've got a half hour until we're outta here!"

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Word got out. After several weeks of silence, the Freedom's Angels had emerged again. Not in a spontaneous attack on the city this time, but rather they had decided to go with a more traditional plot involving the city's water supply and a biological weapon that they claimed would turn the populace into flesh-eating zombies.  
The media glossed over the zombie part, finding it ridiculous, but the fact that evil individuals had secured a vital part of Tokyo's infrastructure and had the means to do significant harm with it was quite enough.  
The officials that were "in the know" about the Freedom's Angels did not discount the zombie threat. In fact, it made them very nervous. Water had already been cut off from the pump to the rest of the city, save roughly ten blocks of residential area surrounding the pump that couldn't be cut off so easily. In all likelihood those people had heeded the government's warning and shut off their own water in addition to evacuating the area, but the risk for T-virus contamination was still extremely high, and zombie infestations tended to spread rapidly under conditions of fear and panic.  
Core was dispatched and was already setting roadblocks and fortifying areas for an eventual assault on the pumping station. Its espionage section was working out a plan to stop the T-virus from being released before a major assault happened. Nobody was concerned that this left them out of range for a timely dispatch to a major prison that was undergoing several critical prisoner transfers. Afterward, blame for prison break would be flung wildly across committees and government agencies and fuel a few political agendas while crushing a few other careers, but for now everyone was determined and focused on the matter at hand.  
Another dispatch order was made. Apparently one official, who didn't know that there were zombies prior to his peers telling him, panicked and made a call to the department that was supposed to handle such things.  
His peers quickly found out what he had done, and that official was subjected to the unusual scenario of being savagely beaten by middle-aged politicians and bureauocrats all wailing and shouting about the inevitable destruction of the city.

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Snake giggled madly as he pressed a clip of ammunition in the light autocannon. "Sweet! Half an hour after the gear gets here, and already we have a mission!"  
Asuka frowned as she looked over the light autocannons and then to the massive heavy autocannon in the crate next to it. More new weapons of Snake's. She hadn't bothered to stick around to see all of the new ways they could now kill a man, and even now, the use of these new weapons didn't seem relevant. "This is going to be an infiltration mission, Snake. These don't really look... appropriate."  
Snake stopped polishing his gun and considered that. "Huh. You're right. But they look so cool!"  
The light autocannons were the size of machine guns, albeit with a much stockier barrel to support the discharge of larger rounds. The heavy autocannon had the same design and relative dimensions, except that it was as long as an anti-tank rifle. Asuka assumed that Snake was counting on Kyle to use it, since he and Ranma were the only ones who could possibly carry it, and Ranma would never want something that heavy dragging him down in battle.  
"Whatever. The stuff you got for Saotome should come in handy, at least. Can his pistol be fitted with a silencer?"  
The Texan snorted. "You couldn't silence that gun in hard vacuum. No chance."  
Kyle immediately stopped pushing buttons on his new mobile armory unit, wondering about that last statement. Could vacuum cleaners be used as silencers? They seemed pretty bulky. Maybe it was only for bigger guns.  
"Well, I trust he'll be able to make it in without shooting anybody, then." Asuka looked around at all the assembled men and women. "All right, we're going to do this in two parts. Junko, you're going to drive me and Saotome to the deployment site in your car; it'll arouse less suspicion than a squad car. Then we're going to hold that exit while Ranma infiltrates the station and prevents them from dumping the virus. Snake, you're going to take Tiro and Kyle and find a good observation spot. You'll launch an assault as soon as we get confirmation from Saotome that he's either succeeded or failed in keeping the virus out of the water pumps."  
Snake frowned. "But I wanna be in the infiltration group! I'm good at infiltration."  
Asuka rolled her eyes. It was true; Snake had undergone extensive special ops training and was very good at sneaking around... while slaying everything in his path. Snake's idea of infiltration was very similar to his idea of assault, except that the weapons had silencers and he didn't blow anything up until he had escaped.  
"Saotome will be doing the infiltration. He's good at it. And it'll give him a chance to try out those new blades."  
Ranma frowned at the kodachi sheathed in the holders around his thighs. As if he'd need WEAPONS to fight.  
"Will we be coordinating with the Core forces at all?" Junko asked.  
Asuka shook her head. "No. As much as I'd love to say hi and get into a big fight about what we should and shouldn't be doing, there isn't enough time. Let's move out, people!"

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Colonel Mia Tokima was not happy at present.  
_Woosh!_ A meaty fist streaked by her head far faster than an untrained thug should have been able to manage. The colonel didn't waste any time being impressed, and grabbed the outstretched arm to initiate a judo throw.  
_WHAM!_ With the considerable force he was putting behind the punch guiding him, the confused terrorist found his own strength sending him careening into the wall with enough force to break through the relatively thin aluminum siding.  
Mia slipped her silenced 9mm. into her hand and fired a round into the stunned terrorist's head, ducking another punch as she did so.  
Darting past the next terrorist, she grimaced as she saw the blood-soaked forms of two of her subordinates, their Manta armor stained crimson. A third one was being held against the wall by another terrorist.  
She snarled as she ducked another punch, and then activated her wrist blade while driving it up into her attacker's chin. Everything had gone wrong once her team had stumbled upon the first of the guards. It should have been swift and silent; the man was distracted, and wasn't even armed. He didn't turn around immediately when turning the corner in the hallway. Textbook.  
Or that was how it should have been. Instead his throat had somehow offered a LOT more resistance to sharpened steel than she would have found plausible, and he had managed to slam that agent onto the floor, reducing him to a smashed, bloody mess with that one strike. A shout of surprise, and more guards had arrived. So far the only remotely good news had been that these men were only armed with crowbars and lengths of pipe instead of guns.  
Letting the corpse in front of her fall, she deactivated her wrist blade and then dashed back as two others charged. Her only surviving agent was now lying on the floor, unresponsive, though it wasn't obvious whether he was alive or dead.  
The first man rushing her took three bullets in the legs and staggered, eventually falling forward as the small armor-piercing rounds tore through flesh and muscle that would have stopped a conventional slug.  
She moved to the next target, and her eyes widened in surprise, giving him the split-second of hesitation he needed to reach her. It was the same man she had Judo-slammed... and shot in the head. Her eyes spent that critical moment transfixed on small, bloody gouge that had been torn into the man's right temple, missing her chance to fire or dodge.  
_Thwump!_ She grimaced as she hit the floor, feeling her wrists pinned and hearing her pistol bounce away.

"Michi! You all right, man?" The mostly uninjured terrorist asked of the man clutching his bleeding legs.  
"No... not all right..." he mumbled painfully. Those rounds had NOT been any kind of standard issue ammunition. Stupid special forces and their stupid budget windfalls... "Don't think I'll be walking again today..."  
Seeing how his companion was injured but didn't seem to be mortally wounded, he turned his attention to the most active of the infiltrators. His first thought was to wonder why Ryuotsu was taking so long to knock her out or kill her. His second thought was a muted 'Oh. That's why.' He idly wondered how much time they had before they had to leave the water station, and if his good comrade would be willing to share his gorgeous bounty.  
Mia was grimacing badly behind the Spectre goggles and rebreather mask that hid her face. The man on top of her had seemed ready to knock her out, but his desire for violence seemed to fade as his eyes swept down the length of her body.  
Mentally, the colonel groaned, wishing that the Manta armor was bulky like the normal Core protect-gear. Or at least didn't mold to her curves so thoroughly. Although this new development would likely open up a possibility for escape, she decided that she'd be just as happy with unconsciousness.  
The terrorist licked his lips, and then tore off Mia's wrist bracers, noticing that one of them had housed the blade that had killed two of his companions. "Well, DAMN. This is almost worth gettin' shot in the head!" He winced slightly at the throbbing reminder that he had lead embedded in his skull.  
"Hey! What's going on here?"

The other terrorists looked up and fought off a groan as the de facto sergeant of this raiding party entered and looked around.  
"Huh. Core's special forces, eh?" He asked rhetorically. He glanced at the two bleeding corpses of his men, and then at the two bleeding corpses in Manta armor. 'Huh. Actually, all things considered, that 'aint bad at all,' he decided to himself. Still, he didn't allow himself to show his satisfaction. "Why didn't anyone trip the alarm? What if she'd gotten through to the operations area?"  
The only one of the men who remained mostly uninjured considered the question. "We surprised them right after they surprised us. If we dumped the juice now, then the whole thing pretty much goes down the drain. But now..."  
The sergeant raised an eyebrow as he looked at the luscious figure that lay pinned beneath one of his men. Well, THAT was a prize, though he doubted any of them would get a chance to enjoy her. Whoever she was, she wasn't helpless if she was a part of Core at all.  
"All right, look: you three are gonna head back to the van and hook up with Tanaka. Michi won't be able to make the rush to the van otherwise. We'll hold these two and sweeten the deal with Core." With that said, the lanky man grabbed Mia by the front of her suit (copping a quick feel in the process), and then ripped off her goggles and mask.  
He blinked. "General Tokima?"  
There was no way that illusion would have lasted long enough for her to escape, but Mia briefly debated trying to play the part purely for the novelty value. 'Nah. Not worth it.' "I'm her sister, you idiot."  
"Oh," the sergeant looked unsure. "So the Doc's not messing around with the cloning vats again?"  
Mia again resisted the urge to indulge the terrorists' stupidity for her own amusement. "Doc who?"  
The man shook his head. "Nevermind. Bring 'er along! And don't go treating her too rough... we'll have to check with one o' the higher-ups to figure out what to do with her."

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The FA sergeant was definitely smarter than the average muscleheaded terrorist.  
That was not to say, however, that he was very smart. Despite forbidding anybody to assault her, sexually or otherwise, he had still chosen to bring the two prisoners well-trained in covert operations and spycraft into the same room in which the T-virus was being held above the main pump on a gurney; effectively, they were being held in plain sight of, and four meters from, the key objective, and neither had been searched thoroughly enough to lose the electronic signal key that would have launched an attack by the Core forces on standby.  
They HAD both been chained up at the wrists and attached to the railing, though. That was still a problem to overcome. Plus, he had ordered two of the men to guard them. The good news was that both their eyes were locked on her and her swimsuit-tight armor, and they hardly paid any attention to Corporal Tsuma. The bad news was that her only remaining teammate was still unconscious, so he didn't really need to be watched closely anyway. What to do, what to do...  
"So, as long as I'm laying here helpless, would anybody like to have a conversation about how you're all super-strong and nearly bullet-proof?" Mia asked far more pleasantly than she felt.  
Both men blinked as they finally focused their eyes on her face (not hard, her face was almost as appealing as her body).  
"Heh heh! You like?" He flexed his arm, and thick layers of muscle bulged over his bicep in a manner that Mia had to admit was rather impressive. "A coupl'a shots, a dose o' the funny gas, and the next morning we wake up like this!"  
"Wait... so... this is a surgical procedure, or..." Mia frowned. "Have you been cybernetically modified?"  
"Naw... it's that other thing... what's the term?"  
"Genetic modification?" His partner tried.  
"Yeah! That's it!"  
Mia's eyes widened. The Freedom's Angels were mutating their men into super-soldiers? SUCCESSFULLY? 'This is a hundred shades of bad,' she thought, glancing about herself desperately for some means of escape. 'Where the hell do these idiots get this kind of technology? Why hasn't Alex been apprehended yet? How has Wraith Labs survived the shakedown of their offices? Has there even BEEN a shakedown of their offices? What's Ranma doing here? Did he really just appear out of thin air? Do these cretins even notice that he's right behind them?'  
She blinked in surprise as the last few thoughts broke through her haze of panic. Ranma Saotome had, in fact, appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and was even now pulling the gurney with the vat of T-virus on it away from the side of the room. The fact that he was making a lot of noise doing this didn't seem to register to the martial artist.  
Luckily, it didn't seem to register with her two guards, either. Mia had to suppress a smile. DAMN was she hot!  
She shifted her body to one side to give the two goons a sidelong view of her legs while looking as if she was trying to get comfortable.  
The men gulped, still failing to notice the loud clanking of rusty wheels moving over the cheap aluminum catwalk.  
Next Mia tried rolling her shoulders back, looking as if she was trying to work her wrist out of the chains. She couldn't do so, of course, but it had the effect of making her breasts bounce in a very subtle and startlingly erotic fashion. She was rewarded (though it made her feel a bit sick inside) by seeing the two men quickly adjust the waistbands of their pants.  
One of them, however, immediately flushed, and then coughed into his hand. "I, uh... I gotta go use the little boy's room fer a couple minutes."  
Mia blanched. 'Ugh. Not good.' As the sexually frustrated terrorist turned around and immediately caught sight of Ranma carting out their container of T-virus, the Special Ops colonel decided that she'd definitely have to apologize for this awkward incident later. Much later. Like, say, on her deathbed.

"HEY!! Who the hell-? IT'S THE DAPC!!" The man shouted, all thoughts of voluptuous, helpless brunettes being filed away for later use.  
Ranma frowned, considering this new development. Then he hoisted the steel virus container up onto his shoulder, and then kicked the gurney straight at the two terrorists charging him.  
He was understandably surprised when the man in front simply backhanded the relatively large, heavy metal table out of his way, sending it over the railing and into the churning water below.  
'Huh. That guy's **strong**. Did the FAs hire more martial artists?' Ranma thought as he patiently waited for the men to reach him.  
The man in the lead pulled out a large Bowie knife from his pocket, and then lunged as he slashed at Ranma in a typical street-brawler's underhand cut.  
'Nope. Not a martial artist,' Ranma decided as he spun to his right, dodging out of the way of the slash and hooking his foot under the knife fighter's ankle. With a powerful kick upward, he sent the man hurtling into the air over the railing to fall into the chaotic, merciless currents of the water below.  
The other terrorist stopped his own charge, horrified. "TONODA!! He can't swim!" He looked down at where a thick, muscled arm swiftly vanished under the churning water gushing around the main pumps.  
Ranma blinked. "Er... well, why don't you go rescue him?"  
"I can't swim either!" The remaining guard exclaimed, still leaning over the railing.  
_Clang!_ Ranma slammed the back of the man's head with the biohazard container, knocking him over the railing and sending him down into the swirling currents.  
'Huh. This 'killing people indirectly' thing is pretty easy on the conscience. I could get used to this,' Ranma decided, moving the container a bit and then moving up to the two captured Core agents. "Hey Colonel!" he said, finding himself unable to remember the woman's name. "Need a hand?"  
Mia shook her head. "There's no time! Forget about me!"  
Ranma blinked, surprised. "Okay." Then he quickly turned to the agent chained on the railing next to her, and drew the kodachi on his leg.  
_Kshnk!_  
"Er... wait..." Mia began as Ranma quickly slung the unconscious man over his unburdened shoulder.  
"Good luck getting out of here! Bye!" Ranma shouted, taking off down the hallway from whence he came.  
"Hold on!" Mia said as she struggled against the chains. "If you were going to take the time to... HEY!! COME BACK!!"

_Bam!_ The buxom colonel jumped in surprise as a door opposite Ranma's escape route slammed open, and a feeling of dread came over her.  
"Just what's all the noise abo-THE VIRUS!! IT'S GONE!!" The sergeant snarled, glancing at the sliced chains next to Mia. "Everyone, advance to that hallway! We have to get that container back!"  
Mia's face darkened as a dozen men, many with rifles and machine guns, all rushed past her, many giving the trapped brunette confused or curious glances.  
The sergeant immediately snapped up a walkie-talkie and flipped it on. "All units, fall back to the extraction point! The enemy has escaped with the T-virus batch! Secure the biohazard container immediately and dump it if possible! Otherwise abandon the area!"  
The sergeant growled and started to run after his men, but caught sight of Mia and stopped, frowning.  
"So... wait, I don't get it. Why did they leave you behind?"  
The brunette's eyebrow twitched, and a vein popped up on her head. "I don't want to talk about it..."  
"Eh. Have it your way." Shrugging, the man took an AK-47 off of his shoulder and then charged down the catwalk after his soldiers, screaming bloody murder.

Mia frowned. "Wait... you guys aren't gonna take me either? Hello? HELLO?! HEY!! DON'T JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!!"  
She waited several moments, but the only sound that she could hear in response was the rough hum of the water pumps below.  
"Well, might as well call in our reserve forces for the assault, right?" Seeing how there was no one to answer, she shrugged and slipped the small beacon - roughly the size and shape of a dime - into her hand from a slit in the back of her Manta armor. Then she pressed it tightly, the beacon activating in a few seconds.  
She then shifted back up so that she was sitting on her legs again.  
"... Damn these chains are uncomfortable."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A few minutes earlier)  
Asuka frowned deeply as she looked at the dead man before her. "There's no way it should have taken that many hits to drop him. Not without body armor or his ribcage being made of steel."  
Junko shuddered. "So what? Ranma and Kyle can take shots like that, and they're not cyborgs either."  
The blue-haired woman shook her head. "Ranma's a martial artist of impossible skill and ability. And Kyle is..."  
She trailed off. Kyle could shrug off 9 mm. rounds like they were spitballs. Kyle got that way through some sort of genetic augmentation at the hands of the Freedom's Angels. "This could be bad. Very, very bad."  
"Well, whatever it is, Ranma can deal with it, right?" Junko asked nervously. Their hand-to-hand/infiltration specialist had already gone on ahead, and it had been thankfully quiet since then.  
"Probably. I'm not particularly worried about him," the police captain confessed, looking down at her MP5 submachine gun. "I'm going to need a bigger gun to fight super-soldiers."  
Junko's head snapped the side. "Did you hear that? Somebody's-GWAH!" She didn't get to finish her sentence as Asuka grabbed her arm and yanked her behind the terrorist's van.

The back door to the water station opened a few seconds later, revealing two men helping another man with his legs torn and bloody down the stairs.  
They stopped once they got a good look at their escape point.  
"Tanaka! What the hell happened?"  
The terrorist sporting a bloody rag wrapped around his head growled as he saw his comrade lying a pool of blood. Then he looked at the scene behind the corpse. The van was still there, though it had numerous bullet holes in the side. There was also a white station wagon at the end of the back alley that wasn't supposed to be there. At first glance, it seemed to be unoccupied.  
"You think this is where those Core people came from?" the mostly immobile Michi asked.  
None of the men knew the layout of the station well enough to decide otherwise, so the other two nodded reluctantly.  
"Well, whatever." The uninjured man started moving down the stairs toward the waiting van. "Ryutotsu, you put Michi down in the back. I'm gonna-"  
_Clink!_ The light sound of metal bouncing on asphalt reached their ears, and the men glanced down at their feet to see a fragmentation grenade roll out from under the van to stop beneath them.  
They didn't even have time to curse.  
_BOOM!_

At hearing a number of strangled cries in the explosion, Asuka rushed out from behind the van, her weapon at the ready.  
She growled as she switched her weapon onto full auto. Two of the terrorists hadn't even been knocked off their feet.  
"DIE, scum-suckers!" _Pstststststst!_  
The terrorist already on the ground planted his hands over his head as the suppressed burst of fire plowed into Ryutotsu, who swung his arms up to protect his face desperately.  
Asuka grimaced as her weapon clicked empty, and watched as the frontmost terrorist stumbled back while the rearmost one retreated behind the van. 'Junko! Dammit!'  
She snapped up a fresh clip in her hand and released the empty, but hesitated as the bloody-bullet ridden terrorist dashed toward her, screaming in fury.  
Ryutotsu didn't even grunt when he found the submachine gun suddenly thrown in his face; it didn't do anything besides obscure his vision for a split second anyway.  
It didn't occur to him that this was precisely Asuka's intent until he felt his arm and the back of his head grabbed at the same time a foot hooked under his ankle.  
_Wham!_ Asuka turned onto the man's back as she slammed his head into the ground hard enough to break the skull of any normal man, and hard enough to leave the super-soldier dazed.  
Then, without wasting any time, Asuka drew her combat knife from her thigh sheath and stabbed it hard into the man's jugular, prompting an outpour of blood that quickly exhausted the man's dwindling supply.  
He started spasming in agony as his strength failed him, trying desperately to get his hands on the woman on top of him, but Asuka had already torn her knife free and had moved away to find her next foe.  
_Pchnk!_  
Asuka's eyes widened, the silenced gunshot barely registering in her ears as pain blossomed in her back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Eep!" Junko cried out as the man grabbed her roughly by both arms, preventing her from firing off a single shot.  
"Quiet, bitch!" The man snarled, his body singed and bleeding from multiple small wounds. "You think you're real clever, doncha? Well, how's that working out for you now, huh?!"  
The redhead trembled and gibbered uncontrollably as the terrorist tightened his grip, causing lightning bolts of pain to run up her arms. 'Oh no! No, please!' She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her mind start to withdraw, and certain mental chains start to strain. 'It hurts! It hurts so much!'  
"You listening to me?!" The terrorist released one of her arms to grab Junko's face, and then slammed it hard into the side of the van, denting it inward from the force, but not using enough pressure to break the woman's skull. "You're gonna make me a nice hostage, ya hear?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deep within the recesses of Junko Chikiko's mind, a force stirred from its long and involuntary slumber, startled awake as consciousness seemed to recede all around it.  
Wisps of emotion poured around it, feeding it, agitating it, and provoking it to action. Fear and pain swelled briefly and were then consumed in the sudden maelstrom of energies; this force, this entity, had no use for such reactions.  
As the power re-manifested a consciousness and stream of thought that had remained dormant for some time, it pondered at the conditions that had provoked its awakening this time.  
Drawing its favored emotions to itself and reflecting upon its prime desires, the force pushed forward to take control once more.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Junko's shoulders slumped, and she moaned as her eyes fluttered open.  
He grinned. "All right, now we're gonna go out there and you're gonna scream nice and loud for your girlfriend, okay?" He removed his hand from her face and grabbed Junko roughly around her left breast.  
She frowned up at him as her eyes focused, and he blinked. She looked... sleepy. Not as if she was drifting into unconsciousness, but more like she was just waking up.  
"You hurt me," she mumbled, frowning more deeply. "That wasn't very nice."  
He snorted. "Nice isn't in the job description, wench."  
She raised an eyebrow. "It wasn't very bright, either."  
"That's not in the job description either!" The man snapped, then hesitated. "Wait a minute... I meant-"  
He didn't get to finish that sentence. Junko's free hand snatched the handle of her combat knife.  
_Shk-KASH!_ Blood, flesh, and bone sprayed out in a wide arc as she cut straight through the man's neck in a lightning-quick motion that would have left Wolf deeply impressed.  
_Thunk!_ Went the terrorist's head as more blood fountained from the severed neck.  
Junko casually slapped away the corpse and smiled fondly at the red stain across her knife. "Hmmm... it's been quite a while... I feel... RUSTY..." she hissed the word as she flipped the knife around in her hand expertly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michi gasped for air as he lay propped up against the side of the van, Mia's 9 mm. pistol in his shaky grasp.  
After watching the police captain drop onto the ground, he sighed in relief, only to start coughing violently as his accumulated injuries protested.

Asuka's instincts and training overrode the agony in her shoulderblade as she lay prone on the ground, her hand slowly sliding toward her sidearm. If it came down to two injured, immobile individuals shooting at each other from the prone position, she could only hope that her advantage in aim overcame the terrorist's advantage in resilience, but it was the only hope she had.  
That's what she thought, anyway. The very LAST thing she expected was to see Junko stroll around the back of the van, looking entirely unconcerned with the situation and with her left arm spattered with blood.

"Ooh! What's this?"  
The man known as Michi snapped his head around to look in the other direction, and he blinked in surprise as he saw a redheaded woman leaning over to look at him.  
"Wow! You're in bad shape, aintcha?" the redhead asked, cocking her head to one side.  
Under different circumstances, Michi would have been paralyzed at the spectacular view of cleavage, but as it were, his survival instincts were running the mental show. The woman had a badge, which meant she was an enemy. She was also out of reach. His hand tightened around the pistol, and he brought it around to aim at her.  
_Thwap!_ Or tried to. At some point though, a knife suddenly impaled his wrist.  
"GYAAAH!!" The last terrorist in his team screamed as the pistol tumbled out of his grip. "Wh-What? How in the hell-" he stopped as his chin was suddenly grabbed, and he his head was forcibly twisted to stare right into the seductive smile of the redhead leaning over him.  
"Oh, I get it. You're one of those terrorist nasties, aren't you?" She smiled like the cat that had trapped the canary. "Do you know what we do with bad, nasty men? Hmm?"  
_Crack!_ His head was again wrenched in the same direction as before. This time, however, the motion met and fought the body's skeletal limitations. After a very brief struggle, the motion won, and Michi the terrorist slumped to the ground, dead.

Asuka watched all this with wide eyes, and her hand closed on her sidearm. Junko had apparently killed the other terrorist who had disappeared and had likely found her. Junko had just snapped the injured terrorist's neck in an inefficient but undeniably effective manner. Junko Chikiko, the second most useless individual in her department, the woman who had frequently disdained all forms of lethal violence, the tramp whose only goal in life seemed to be to provide eye candy and casual sex to every man she crossed, HAD JUST CASUALLY SLAIN TWO GENETICALLY ENHANCED SUPER-SOLDIERS. Asuka's thoughts on the matter?  
'Well, crap. **Now** what's going on?'  
The killer in Junko's body sighted her, and Asuka's eyes narrowed as she drew her sidearm from its holster. That hand was between her body and the ground, so she'd probably get a single surprise shot if she needed it. If it didn't hit...  
Well, Asuka had seen the speed at which Junko had tossed out that knife. She wouldn't get a chance to do anything else; if she missed, that was it. Go directly to afterlife. Do not pass Go. Do not collect dignity.  
Junko, for her part, hummed merrily to herself as she withdrew her knife from the corpse's arm, and then turned toward Asuka.  
She frowned, and pressed a blood-spattered index finger to her lips. Asuka was understandably concerned when the redhead idly licked the blood off.  
"NOW I remember!" The redhead said cheerfully, throwing a fist in the air. "I'm part of some kind of wacky police squad! You're on my side, huh?"  
"I'm your commanding officer," Asuka deadpanned. "And I've been shot. Can you give me a hand, or are you too busy being insane?"  
Junko blinked repeatedly. "Insane? ME?"  
"Yes, well, the thought did cross my mind, Junko," Asuka said in the same deadpan voice.  
The redhead suddenly shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "Nuh-uh! My name isn't Junko! My name is Akina!"  
"So you have a different name for when you're crazy. Swell. Could you help me now?" The police captain tried.  
Akina turned her nose up. "Booooooring! Aren't there any hot guys on my team I could be helping instead?"  
A vein popped up on Asuka's head. 'Well, it seems there's ONE thing her multiple personalities can agree on.'  
The redhead spent a moment in deep thought, then snapped her fingers. "OH! Right! There's a hot guy who went on in ahead of us, huh?" Grinning viciously, she turned on her heel and dashed into the water station, moving at such speeds that she left after-images in her wake.

Asuka sighed wearily and used her free hand to get a hold of her walkie-talkie.  
_Click!_ "Snake, Yamazaki, abandon position and head for the extraction point. We have an officer down."  
_What? Junko's been shot?_ Came Tiro's panicked voice.  
"No, that would be me," Asuka said sourly.  
_Oh. Is Junko okay?_ The lecher asked tactlessly. Of course, he would argue later that Asuka had already explained her status, and wasn't that bad off if she could radio for help, but it still irritated the police captain.  
"Miss Chikiko evidently went insane after being cornered by one of the enemy units. She then killed the ones that were threatening us, insisted that her name was 'Akina', and then entered the station, presumably to rape Saotome."  
There was a long silence after that, which was eventually broken by Snake's voice.  
_It's gonna be one of those days, isn't it?_  
"Yeap. See ya soon."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma was not an infiltration specialist.  
Sure, the DAPC **called** him an infiltration specialist. This was because he had training in Ninjitsu, could climb on walls and even ceilings without special equipment, and could move in absolute silence. He could jump into windows or onto roofs quickly and silently. Hell, he could even turn invisible, though the only person who knew of that skill was Kyle (the only person not smart enough to put its obvious advantages into a given plan).  
Despite his having many abilities that any normal infiltration specialist would envy, those specialists possessed several pieces of knowledge and gear that Ranma would have greatly appreciated.  
For example, Ranma wasn't especially clear on how to neutralize people silently. Outside of Genma's Umisen-ken branch, Anything-Goes was not a style that held subtlety in high regard. The basic attitude was: if you can throw a punch AND make an explosion, well, why the hell not? His martial arts were of a type that left buildings sundered and shattered in his wake, and he was damn proud of it.  
Of course, he knew of ONE simple and obvious way he could have silently taken care of the terrorists in his path when he had infiltrated the compound, but... slit their throats? Yuck.  
So Ranma had fallen back on the one branch of Anything-Goes that appreciated subtlety, and simply used the Umisen-ken cloak to weave invisibly past the patrolling terrorists on his way in. It worked.  
Of course, then there was the path out to consider. The four-foot long, ten-inch in radius canister over his shoulder was simply too large to stash away without a much better grasp of hidden weapons than he possessed, and the man over his other shoulder was even bigger, though he doubted it was possible to stash humans away anyhow (people's ki fields tended to disrupt sustained techniques like that).  
He hadn't been able to use the Umisen-ken on his way back. And all those guards were still active and conscious.

_Whang!_ The terrorist paled as his fist impacted the biohazard container, denting its reinforced wall.  
_Thwack!_ Ranma's roundhouse smashed the man into the wall, and he quickly followed it up with a snap kick to his throat that caused him to grasp his neck in agony and cough violently.  
Ranma was having one other problem that he hadn't counted on; by now he had figured out that somehow, all the terrorists in the station possessed strength and resilience just below Ryoga. In response, he had released all the restraints on his strength to compensate.  
Fortunately, the men possessed none of Ryoga's defensive skills, so it was like beating on a series of especially tough punching bags to Ranma; all he had to do was concentrate on the criminals' unguarded vital points and they dropped just as quickly as they would have normally.  
Unfortunately, this was quickly tiring him out. And more terrorists were starting to catch up behind him. These ones had weapons, as well.  
Fortunately, his enemies all seemed absolutely TERRIFIED of the biohazard container, especially as Ranma had been regularly using it as a shield and bludgeon. Ranma didn't once stop to think that they might have a good reason for acting that way.  
Unfortunately, his other burden, a slowly awakening Corporal Tsuma, was nothing but dead (and sensitive) weight.  
On the whole, it looked like things were slowly edging into the terrorists' favor as far as his survival was concerned. To Ranma this was unacceptable.

Running into the next room, Ranma jumped over a bare-chested man swinging a crowbar before digging his heel into the man's skull and bouncing off to gain extra momentum.  
Now in the next room, Ranma stopped. He was on a catwalk again, though instead of being suspended over a pumping reservoir or an aqueduct, this room had a solid floor, from which emerged columns of large, intertwined pipes that stretched straight up into the ceiling.  
Ranma's eye twitched. 'Why did they build this place to look like the interior of the freakin' Death Star?'  
"There he is!" "This way!" "Don't fire! You might hit the container!"  
Well, at least this room had a solid floor, and cover. That would allow him to relieve himself of his human burden, and take a quick breather. He leapt over the side of the catwalk railing.

The terrorist sergeant burst into the room a moment later, several men at his side armed with machine guns. He quickly scanned the area over the railing.  
Not good. Their target was hiding. With this much cover - 'What the hell is this room FOR, anyway?' - their target could pick apart his men one at a time, judging by the trail of savagely beaten super-soldiers his team had encountered up until now.  
'I have to flush him out... but how?' He looked up at the columns of twisted pipes, and smirked.  
"Aim at the pipes! Break 'em open!"  
_RATTA-TATTA-TATTA-TATTA-TAT!_

Ranma winced as he heard the sound of bullets rending steel, and glanced around the pillar of high-pressure water lines to see a huge spray of water blasting out of one of the other columns.  
'What the hell?' Another sustained burst of gunfire, and the column next to that one burst open in a wide spray of water.  
"Aim lower!" The sergeant commanded. "Keep the water jets near the floor!"  
The pigtailed cop frowned. A clumsy strategy, but it was more clever than he would've given the Angels credit for normally.  
"Excuse me... Mister? Y-You're with the DAPC?" The Core corporal asked timidly. He had gained full consciousness just in time to vomit from being jostled about at high speed for so long. He had finished throwing up just in time to realize he was seated next to a beat-up looking biohazard container on one side, and an intimidating-looking man on the other side bearing a very distinctive department logo. He couldn't help but wonder if he was better off now than he was when unconscious in the clutches of the terrorists.  
"Name's Saotome," Ranma said, not turning to look at the man while he withdrew his pistol. "Yeah, I'm DAPC. Try not to attract attention to yourself, alright?"  
Taking careful aim, Ranma pointed the Jackal at one of the larger guns.  
_BLAM!_ With a report that Ranma would have sooner believed was that of a shotgun, the pistol bucked in his hand, startling the martial artist (who hadn't had the opportunity to practice with the weapon prior to this assignment).

He wasn't nearly as startled as the terrorist, who blinked repeatedly in surprise and held up his weapon. The old, poorly-maintained SAW now sported a jagged hole right below the ejection feed, and the man next to him was irritably picking slivers of metal out of his arm.  
The sergeant growled. "Don't stop firing! Move on the next... huh?" Catching some movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned and looked at the other end of the catwalk, toward the door that was supposedly guarded on the other side in case their current target somehow reached it without their noticing (the only exit down on the floor led deeper into the station, so they weren't as concerned about that route).  
A voluptuous redheaded woman stood at the end of the catwalk, grinning at them. She was thoroughly splattered in blood, and was even now slowly running her tongue along the bloody edge of a standard-issue combat knife in a manner that she made look at least as erotic as it was disturbing.  
"Mmhmmmhmm!" She moaned as her tongue slid along the flat of the blade while she caressed the opposite edge with her thumb. "Mmmm... delicious," she whispered huskily, suddenly twirling the knife around in her hand. Then she took her free hand and used a finger to wipe off a spatter of blood that had fallen on the exposed portion of her right breast, and began to lick and suck on that finger in an EXTREMELY distracting manner.  
The terrorists all stared, frozen. Ranma stared as well from his hiding place, although Akina couldn't see him.  
"I'm... not sure what to make of what I'm seeing..." the sergeant confessed. It didn't help that the new arrival's clothes were torn and bloodstained, obscuring the patch that marked her as a police officer (though her clothes were still a big hint).  
The redhead smirked and thrust her chest out, her breasts bouncing enticingly as two switchblade knives confiscated from fallen terrorists snapped open in her left hand. Her right held onto the military-issue combat knife loosely. She sauntered forward, her hips swaying in a manner that she had perfected long ago.  
'What is this? Do all these agencies do their recruiting from Hooters, or what?' The sergeant wondered, swallowing nervously as the woman approached. The woman seemed to exude raging, raw emotion, and every one of the men found their will being helplessly sundered by two overwhelming, primal drives.  
Their heads decided that fear was definitely warranted. This woman was frightening beyond all reason without taking into account that her body was painted as red as her hair.  
Their other heads were busy with lust. This woman radiated sexuality; every movement seemed to be a show for their delight, every smile an invitation to sensual bliss.  
Of course, EVERYONE knows that when it comes to survival, lust will screw you over every time.

The sergeant was the first to go. Evidently he had taken a step past his men toward the blood-soaked beauty when he wasn't thinking, which in retrospect was a really bad idea.  
The sergeant hadn't been genetically enhanced. When he'd volunteered his squad for the procedure, it had still been experimental. Besides that, for some reason Yoshi had expected a sudden drop in intellect, and had ensured that the new super-soldiers be led by a normal human. Thus, this man didn't offer NEARLY as much resistance as the others.  
Blood flew in soft, graceful, and numerous arcs as silver streaks flashed around the terrorist's body.  
_Bwash!_ He seemed to explode like a piece of fruit in a press, skin coming apart in strips and followed by a whirlwind of blood and cleanly sliced chunks of flesh and muscle. It was a horrific sight that left the hardened super-humans rooted to the spot in terror as Akina dove through the gore and into their ranks.  
Too bad for them.  
_Thunk!_ One man got a switchblade shoved into his forehead all the way to the hilt. That his skull should have been too hard for ordinary steel blades to pierce was a position he never got to argue.  
_Vsash!_ One of the machine gunners had his throat ripped open by Akina's combat knife. His death was unspectacular, if not extremely painful and disturbing.  
_Bwack!_ While spinning around from her last strike, Akina's leg whipped out and collided into the bare-chested man who Ranma had met upon entering the room, launching him over the railing to slam into one of the pipe columns. He was only knocked unconscious from the impact and subsequent fall, though ironically, he would drown due to the water leaks since he landed face-down.  
_Slash! Shknk! Shnkt! Wham!_

Ranma watched in equal parts shock and disgust as the woman he knew as Junko - soft, lovable, cuddly, flirtatious Junko - tear through the superhuman thugs in a bloody whirlwind of visceral brutality, each one meeting the deadly maelstrom of blades and boots with all the grace and dignity of a deer staring into the headlights of an oncoming truck.  
Eventually Ranma ducked back behind his cover, and the corporal he had rescued blinked when he saw his rescuer breathing heavily with wide eyes.  
"Saotome? What's wrong? What's going on out there?" The man asked cautiously, not being able to see himself because the opposite side of the pillar's view was blocked by a water jet. All he knew is that the gunfire had stopped for several moments, only for people to start screaming incoherently.  
"Uh... well..." Ranma swallowed as he heard the last of the screams from above trail off into a gurgling whimper. "Well, either we're saved... or we're dead," he mumbled unhelpfully. "I'll keep you updated."  
Then he peeked back around the column he was hiding behind.  
He frowned. She was gone. There was nothing on the catwalk but dead bodies, damaged guns, and a pool of blood that gently streamed over the edge of the walk to mix with the thin layer of water that had managed to fill the entire length of the room.  
Ranma immediately spun around, his arm snapping up to aim the Jackal straight at Akina's forehead.  
Akina grinned.

Corporal Tsuma looked at the frightening yet incredibly sexy woman as she smiled lazily, playing with a combat knife between her hands. She had apparently walked right through the high-pressure water leaks, as most of the blood had been washed off of her (though he didn't know how much had covered her before), and her bright red hair clung to her shoulders and chest, as did her plain white T-shirt (she had somehow lost both her body armor and her jacket earlier. Imagine that!)  
Then he looked over at Ranma, who was staring hard at the redhead while leveling the biggest pistol he had ever seen at the woman. The pigtailed man seemed entirely convinced that the situation was about to turn violent, which for some reason seemed unlikely to him, even if it did make more sense in the larger scheme of things.  
The Core agent groaned and hoped that they'd ignore him so that he could get away. Remerick had been right; these DAPC sorts were pure trouble.

Ranma recognized the woman before him on a physical level only. He could see that besides the body, this was someone, or something, entirely different from Junko Chikiko.  
For one thing, she had a huge ki aura. HUGE. It dwarfed his own like a searchlight dwarfed a desk lamp. Of course, no matter how much ki she had, it didn't mean she could use it right, but Ranma knew that she was not to be challenged lightly.  
Still, he had a mission. To get him and the Core guy out alive along with the container of T-virus. Apparently he had just stumbled upon a secondary mission objective as well: restore Junko back to normal. He had no idea how to do it, but he would damn well try.  
He could already tell what had been the end of the terrorists; she was emitting a fear aura, similar to Happousai and Soun's demonic projection techniques, but unfocused enough that it didn't manifest visually. It also meant it was weak enough that it had no effect on him.  
It was odd, though... Soun and Happousai's auras induced fear, and judging by the Angels' reactions, he had guessed she did the same thing to them, yet... the aura she was putting out now seemed to be based on some other emotion.  
Had he spent more concentration on thinking about that rather than ensuring the Jackal's sights never left her forehead, Ranma certainly would have connected her present aura to the feel of Happousai's aura the first time he slammed the pervert with a **hiryu shoten ha**. But for now, he was more concerned with an impending battle.  
"Who are you and what did you do with Junko?" Ranma snarled.

The redhead blinked in surprise, obviously taken aback by Ranma's hostility.  
"Oh! I get it!" She said, suddenly smirking again. "Don't worry your pretty little head - either of them - sweetie! Junko's just fine!" Then her tone dropped and she licked her lips. "She'll be back in a bit. In the meantime, why don't you play with me?" her voice was low and husky, practically pleading for sexual contact in a manner that the ignored corporal between them could uncomfortably attest to.  
Ranma was appropriately concerned with the knife in her hands. He had never been one to hand over control to his libido even when his survival WASN'T in jeopardy. "Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in Junko's body?"  
Akina giggled and stepped forward.  
_BLAM!_ She stopped giggling and jerked back as 13 mm. round zipped over her shoulder and punctured a pipe behind her, causing a thin jet of water to spray into her back.  
"No moving," Ranma deadpanned. "Now answer my questions."  
It took some time for the flustered redhead to recall what the question was. She found Ranma's response surprisingly... arousing. She had never come across a will this indomitable before. Of course, she hadn't gotten out often in the past decade or so, but still... this one appeared to be a challenge. The thought excited her considerably.  
"My name is Akina," she purred, planting one hand on her thigh as water streamed over her shoulders and down her back. "Me and Junko... well, you could say we share residence... her body is my body, you see."  
"No, I don't," the pigtailed cop snapped. "What are you talking about?"  
"Multiple personality disorder," Akina mumbled, starting to grow slightly irritated. Not at Ranma's incomprehension - she didn't really expect he'd understand - but rather that she was wet and horny and ready to go yet her continued survival dictated that she remain where she was. Ranma was a VERY good shot, and she knew that she was no match for him if he really decided her intentions were harmful. "Can I move now? I'm not going to hurt you. Promise!"  
Ranma ignored the request. "Well, if you're both in her head, then bring 'er out. And don't think you can fool me about it neither; I can see that your aura's different from hers."  
Akina bristled, not understanding the "aura" comment, and not caring. Surrender her body back to that timid, helpless, simpering brat before she'd even gotten a chance to have her daily recommended allowance of man-meat? No sir, not happening!  
A decision was made. Ranma would hopefully hesitate to actually shoot her, meaning that having a gun in his hand would be a liability when fending her off. Most people wouldn't have settled for "hopefully" not getting blasted in the head just to jump some guy's bones, but impulsiveness was literally part of who she was.  
She lunged. Ranma didn't fire, but spat a quick curse as he brought his free hand around to defend.  
The redhead grinned. VICTORY!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Wham!_ The door burst open as an armored boot crashed into it, and Mia's head whirled to the side to see a bulky armored form charge through a moment later, autorifle at the ready.  
She breathed a sigh of relief. Finally! The reserve divisions had taken a bit longer than she would've guessed, but they were here. And judging by the fact that no terrorists had returned to the pumping room with the container of T-virus, they weren't too late.  
Three individuals wearing the newest version of Core's protect-gear, the Y-31A Storm Suit, marched into the pumping room slowly, scanning every corner of the room before the soldier on point moved forward and bowed to her.  
"Colonel Tokima! Corporal Mizu Kotetsu reporting!" The recently promoted corporal said, throwing a hand up in a salute. "I see the operation MOSTLY succeeded..." trailing off, Mizu was about to lean down and free the other woman when Mia interrupted.  
"Listen to me, this is very important," Mia said firmly, arresting the attention of the other two soldiers who were guarding the exit and entrance. "Have you encountered any resistance so far?"  
"No, Colonel. We've been proceeding cautiously in case of traps, though," Mizu said, her rebreather not scrambling her voice quite as much as the old ones did, but still being hard on the ears.  
"The terrorists in this facility have undergone successful genetic enhancement," Mia said seriously, "they're bullet-resistant, and very strong. Engage at range, and KILL ON SIGHT. No prisoners under any circumstances; we can't contain them reliably at present. Understood?"  
"Yes, Colonel!" All three soldiers said.  
Mizu waved her companions on ahead. "Secure the next room! We have to hurry to meet up with Ganoya's troops!"  
She turned back to the colonel and reached for the chains. "So you were the only survivor out of your team?" With a flick of her wrist, her combat blade slid out of her gauntlet, and she started sawing through the bonds.  
Mia grimaced. "No. Corporal Tsuma survived too. At least, I assume he did. If anyone could pull off a rescue around here, it's Saotome." She said the last part a bit bitterly, as it should have been HER he was rescuing.  
Mizu froze. "Saotome? Ranma Saotome is here?"  
"Yes. He snuck in here and took the T-virus with him. Then all the goons took off after him," Mia explained.  
"RANMA!!" Mizu suddenly shouted, jumping up and then sprinting down the catwalk into the next room.  
"Huh? Hey, wait!" Mia shouted, trying to stand up only to find that her bonds were still intact and holding strong. "DAMMIT, GET BACK HERE!! I'M YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER AND YOU **WILL** GET ME FREE BEFORE YOU GO RUNNING... hello?"  
She slumped back down into a sitting position. "When will I learn to keep my mouth shut?"  
The only answer was the gentle hum of the electric pumps below her.  
"... This sucks so much."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma was confused.  
He was also pretty sure he was lucky to be alive. When Akina had dashed toward him, his fingers had frozen over the trigger like they were made of stone; he knew right away that he couldn't possibly shoot her dead, even if it meant that he was seriously risking his own life.  
When the redhead had gotten within arm's reach, she had grabbed his gun-wielding hand while he had grabbed her knife-wielding hand. Then the rest of her momentum hit, and they were both thrown backward into one of the pipe towers.  
When she moved her head forward toward his, he had assumed she was going for the headbutt. He was wrong.  
So in a surprising (to him) turn of events, he was pinned against a column, and Junko had her tongue in his throat rather than her knife.  
This was very, very wrong. Oh, sure, it felt good, but Ranma knew better! Nothing could come from these situations except pain, heartbreak, jealousy, and tiny, overpowered elderly people! Besides, he was kind of in the middle of something, here.  
Also, Ranma still wasn't one-hundred percent convinced this "Akina" girl didn't intend to eviscerate him. After all, that's what Shampoo had tried to do after the first time she kissed him.  
Ranma gasped in some air as the redhead disengaged, and then started babbling as was standard procedure.  
"Wh-Wh-What do y-you think you're doing? Let me go!" He said, panicking.  
Akina was mildly amused that her sexual aggression seemed to be inducing fear when Ranma had stood firm in the face of oncoming battle. Of course, she was sure he'd be "standing firm" again soon enough.  
"Mmmmmm... just relaaaaax," she purred, moving her head down and kissing the side of his neck.  
"What the hell is wrong with you? I'm in the middle of a mission here! Do you have any idea where we ARE right now? Stop that!" Ranma shouted, accidentally loosening his grip on her wrist in his panic.  
His eyes widened as her hands moved. Her free hand gripped his collar, and her knife slipped down to rest over his collarbone. That she continued giving him the mother of all hickeys did not reassure him of her intentions in the slightest.  
"You! Core guy! For the love of God! HELP ME!!" Ranma shouted desperately, his arms shaking.  
Corporal Tsuma shook his head. 'Like I'm stupid enough to try and stop her?' He had come close enough to getting killed already, thank-you-very-much, and he was planning on leaving this warzone with his skin intact.  
"Then at least stop watching!" The pigtailed man shouted angrily.  
The corporal shook his head again. Not that he was a pervert or didn't respect the officers' privacy, but he was literally unable to tear his eyes away from the spectacle before him. It was too bizarre not to stare.  
_Shrrrrip!_ Ranma let out a strangled "Eep!" as Akina suddenly sliced down through his shirt, rending the garment all the way down the front.  
The redhead finally removed her lips from Ranma's neck, and smirked as she watched beads of sweat roll down his forehead. "Just one more thing..."  
Ranma wasn't listening to what she was saying. His eyes were locked on the woman's knife, which was still moving downward ever-so-slowly after slicing his shirt. Lower and lower, until it rested right over...  
"GYAH!!" Akina hardly had time to blink as she was smashed aside into the shallow water.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Ranma wasted no time at all, and initiated the Saotome Final Attack, though most who had seen the technique before would have noted that it lacked its usual subtlety and grace, what with him flailing his arms about wildly and screaming the whole time.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Stopping to catch his breath once he was under the catwalk, Ranma leapt straight up, grabbed the railing, and then flipped himself over topside.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Then he immediately left via the path that Akina had entered from, opposite his own point of entry.

Akina stared incredulously at her victi-er, conque-no, partner as he fled the room screaming, and began stuttering sadly. "But... w-why? I was j-just trying to..."  
She looked down at the knife in her hands, and replayed the events in her mind. "Oh! Wait! I was just gonna cut your pants off! YOUR PANTS!!"  
Ranma's screams faded into the distance.  
"Aw, crud," Akina mumbled, her face darkening as a little ball of depression settled in among the raging storm of lust that whirled around her. "What's the big deal? Was it something I said?"  
Tsuma knew that the question wasn't directed at him. And he knew that it was really in his best interests to remain unnoticed. But frankly, the situation was so completely ridiculous to him that he had decided he might as well abandon his own common sense. "I think it was the knife, personally."  
Akina blinked and turned to the short man sitting in the water next to the biohazard container. "Really? Was it a little much?" She asked seriously, frowning at the weapon in her hand.  
"Yeah. I mean, especially when it's..." he trailed off as he heard a number of light splashes, like footsteps in a puddle, over the roar of the water jets, and turned his head around to see who was coming.  
_Splish-splish-splish-splish-splish-splish!_ Ranma quickly ran up to the pair, breathing lightly, and then grabbed the biohazard container before lifting it up onto his shoulder.  
Then he turned around. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" And ran away again.

Akina sweatdropped, then let out a deep, miserable sigh.  
"Oh well. Are you a bad guy?" She asked the Core agent, who stiffened at the question.  
"N-No! I'm on your side! Whichever side you're on, I mean!" He babbled, scooting away through the inch-high water.  
In response, the redhead grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up, peeling the soggy garment off of her before tossing it to the side. "You'll do."  
Tsuma didn't get a chance to scream as she lunged... not that he necessarily would have.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you SURE you can extract a bullet while blindfolded?" Asuka asked nervously as Sakura leaned over her, a scalpel and forceps in her hands.  
"Well... I do better than when I see blood," the blonde woman admitted nervously as Tiro guided her hands to the afflicted area on Asuka's shoulder.  
The police captain groaned and turned her head back around. "Something tells me I'm going to need more anesthesia." She was currently lying face-down over the hood of Junko's car as Sakura went to work, doing what some idiot had seen fit to teach her despite her not meeting the basic standards for competency. 'Story of my life.'  
Snake was standing guard next to the terrorists' van, looking over the pistol that had been used to shoot her. "Barak SP-21... never seen this kind of round in a nine mil before..." he shrugged. "Gotta be an AP slug, though it didn't even get all the way through your shoulder blade. Probably 'cause it hit armor. You might've been better off if it went clean through, though."  
"Well, that's just dandy," the blue-haired woman grumbled as she felt her shoulder being jostled. "Saotome had better complete this mission, or-"  
_Wham!_ "Meep!" Squeaked Sakura, accidentally stabbing deeply with her scalpel.  
As the water station door went flying off its hinges, Snake spun around, aiming his new light autocannon at head level and delighted at the prospect of getting to judge the bullet resistance of their enemies' new troops.  
Needless to say, he was extremely disappointed when Ranma emerged, apparently having completed his mission if the container on his shoulder were any indication.  
Tiro turned away from Ranma to bring his attention back to Asuka, and immediately winced. "Uh... you feel like another shot of morphine, Captain?"  
"Why? What'd she just do?"  
"Nothing! It's fine! I have the bullet!"  
"Wow, that's a lotta blood... WHOA! Hey! Sakura, easy! You mean just MENTIONING blood makes you woozy?"

Ranma was vaguely aware of what was happening to Asuka, but had other things on his mind as he set down the T-virus container next to Snake.  
"You gotta help me! Junko's gone crazy! She's turned into some kind of sex-crazed psycho killer!" He cried.  
"As opposed to being a sex-crazed dead weight?" Snake asked, leaning back on the van lazily. Frankly, he didn't see what the big problem was. Obviously Junko was still capable of telling friend from foe, so what did it matter if she snapped and turned into an unstoppable whirlwind of death?  
Ranma frowned. "I liked her better when she was dead weight. Now she's all psycho and creepy and went and changed her name on us." He scratched his belly. "Also, she destroyed my shirt."  
Stab. "Hey! Sakura, get it together! She doesn't need any more holes in her today!"  
"So what do we do now?" Ranma asked, glancing back nervously at the exit. "Junko's still in there and still crazy. I think all the terrorists are dead, but there's still that guy from Core that I rescued, plus Tiro's cousin."  
Tiro turned around. "What? Alexandra's in there?"  
"Is she the good one?"  
The lecher blinked. "No. You mean Mia's in there? Is she okay?"  
"She said not to worry about her," Ranma confided.  
"Oh. Okay." Tiro turned back around and handed Sakura the sewing pouch from the med kit.  
Asuka gasped as she felt her wound being manipulated again, and fought against the lingering pain to give her orders (if she didn't, then Snake would be in charge, and then the city would be down a pumping station). "Core should have started moving in by now. They can complete the sweep of the facility themselves. Ah! Tiro, watch her hands, not her breasts!"  
"Sorry. Little higher, Sakura."  
The blue-haired woman grimaced and vowed to make Sakura teach her medic techniques to someone else. "Snake, radio the Core command center and warn them about Chikiko. It's unlikely, but possible that she'll resist them violently. She should be apprehended peacefully if at all possible."  
"Does this mean I won't even get to shoot something this mission?" Snake asked sadly.  
"You have only Chikiko's apparent insanity to blame for that."  
"Damn it!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a catwalk stretching across a room that was very slowly filling with water, four men in powered armor stood while looking over one side of the railing.  
All were armed, and really should have been in some sort of formation. But these individuals weren't even part of the same squad, and were all thoroughly entranced at the moment.  
A brief burst of static warned them of an incoming radio message, though none of them moved.  
_Psht! All squads, we have a report coming in from a DAPC unit operating in the area. Keep a lookout for one of their officers, a Miss Junko Chikiko-_  
One of the men raised a gauntlet to the side of his helmet, and keyed the switch to respond. "She a redhead?"  
_Uh... yes. You found her?_ As red was a pretty rare hair color in Japan (as opposed to, say, emerald green, which was quite common), the command operator didn't bother to list the other physical characteristics.  
"Oh yeah. We found her. Found Corporal Nikita Tsuma, too."  
One of the other men let out a distorted whistle from under his rebreather. "Wow. Look at 'er go."  
"Corporal's not gonna last much longer," another agreed.  
"I give 'im two more minutes."  
"Thousand yen says he beats that time."  
"You're on!"  
_Please be advised that she is undergoing some form of psychotic stress reaction. She is to be subdued if possible, though if it looks as if this may provoke a violent response, you are advised to avoid her._  
"She's a bit... busy right now, Command," the soldier who had replied earlier said. "Interference is not recommended. Permission to monitor the situation until we can safely apprehend her?"  
_What's the status on the terrorist threat present in the facility?_  
The Core soldiers glanced over at the pile of shredded corpses scattered around the middle of the catwalk.  
"I'd have to guess someone beat us here, Command. Enemy units have been... 'neutralized'."  
_Understood. Squad Gamma and Omega, continue your sweep. Beta squad, you have permission to monitor Officer Chikiko until such time as you may apprehend her safely._  
"Roger. Thanks, Command." He took his hand off of his helmet.  
Then he twisted around as a loud clanking noise announced the arrival of another soldier in power armor.

Mizu's heavy boots rattled the relatively thin metal of the catwalk pathway, and she slowed to a stop when she saw the two men in her squad plus two others watching something in the next room.  
"Hasegaru! Chimari! Have you two seen any DAPC officers?" She asked, moving down the catwalk so that she could look at what they were all staring at (the large twisted-pipe columns and various jets of water obscured her present viewpoint).  
"Yes, Corporal!" Private Chimari said. Then he pointed at the scene down on the floor.  
Mizu blinked. And stared. She also gaped, though nobody could tell with her rebreather mask on. "What the hell is going on here?"  
"It seems like our special operations branch is working closely with the DAPC," one of the other men said solemnly, inwardly fighting the urge to laugh at his own joke.  
"One minute, twenty seconds! C'mon Tsuma, you can do it!"  
Mizu shook her head, then glanced at the blood-soaked bodies lying on the catwalk. "Whatever. I've got important things to do." Not waiting for a response, she rushed down the length of the catwalk toward the exit, stepping over the slicks of blood and the piles of shredded flesh as best she could.

"Affirmative! We'll take care of things here!" Chimari said, saluting to Mizu's back before turning back to the spectacle down on the ground floor.  
"Aaaaaaaaand... he's done."  
"NO!! One minute forty seconds! Tsuma, you wimp!"  
"Somebody put in a call to Command. We're moving in to apprehend officer Chikiko. Hasegaru, you go find a sheet or a tarp or something. They're probably going to want something to wear."  
"Well then, barring a hiding terrorist or booby trap, this mission is pretty much over, isn't it?"  
Another soldier nodded. "Yup. I can't think of anything we might've missed."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the hell is that?" Mia shouted to no one as a large, worm-like creature with a jaw full of jagged teeth slowly advanced on her.  
"Hello? Somebody help!" she shouted, tugging on her chains as the creature advanced.  
With a feral hiss, the creature lunged, its terrifying maw snapping as it dove toward its prey.  
The colonel was by no means helpless though, and slipped her legs out from under her rear before snapping one out to catch the creature in mid-leap. It flew through the side railing from the impact, and snarled helplessly as it fell into the rapidly churning water below.  
"Somebody get me OUT of here!"

Core agents killed: 2  
Public service personnel needlessly slaughtered: 22  
Guards and others killed in off-stage prison break: 34  
Prisoners taken into the Freedom's Angels' fold: 83  
Genetically enhanced terrorists slain: 18  
Military and police forces injured: 2 (Corporal Tsuma, as it turned out, would take almost as long as Asuka to recover from his physical ordeal)

End Chapter 23


	24. Exposition and Decay

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Like the last chapter, this edition of Guardian will be rank with bloodshed, fanservice, and off-camera sex.  
Or maybe not. But if there is all that stuff, don't sue me for it.

Guardian  
Chapter 24  
Exposition and Decay

Considering the array of scenarios that either erupted from or were terminated at DAPC headquarters, the scene in the main lobby of the building could hardly be considered unique.  
There were no robots or aliens among the group save Hunter, who seemed thoroughly disinterested with the lack of enemies to kill and devour. There were no terrorists around. Mutants were not emerging from Seras' lab. There weren't even any vicious, brain-eating, jagged-toothed worms crawling about pestering people.

_BLAM!!_  
Snake frowned at the bloody spot under the desk and stood back up, replacing the shell in his twelve-gauge.  
"Got 'im. Wish I knew where those bastards were coming from."

Well, okay, there was the one, but it was a short and routine interruption to the more important scenario.  
Speaking again of the situation at hand, this wasn't even the first time that a non-DA authority had dragged Junko Chikiko into the station while she was wearing nothing other than a ripped-up tarp and a nervous blush.  
This was, however, the first time - for all the other officers knew - that Junko had violated orders, left her superior wounded and vulnerable, slaughtered a dozen or so superhumans by herself, and more-or-less raped a random protector of the peace.  
All things considered, most agreed that Asuka was approaching this matter with an impressive amount of control.  
On the other hand, there's a good chance that was just the morphine at work.

"All right Chikiko..." the police captain started gently, idly tugging at the sling that held her right arm steady. "You ARE Chikiko, right? Junko, not Akina?"  
Junko nodded silently, hugging the plastic tarp tighter around herself. On either side of her was an armed Core soldier, their rifles aimed at the floor but ready to fire at a second's notice. Across the room, Mizu was fussing over Ranma as he toweled off vigorously, which had the dual benefits of getting him dry and allowing him to avoid eye contact with the redheaded woman.  
"Wonderful. Now that we've confirmed that you're mostly sane, do you have an explanation for that little episode back at the pumping station?"  
Junko sighed and nodded.  
Asuka planted her hand on her hip. "Well? We're waiting."  
The redhead fidgeted nervously. "Uhm... c-could you get the Core guys out of here? This is kind of personal, and while I don't really mind telling you guys..."  
"Fair enough," the police captain said. "You guys can go. She doesn't appear to be any danger to us."  
The two nameless Core infantrymen left without delay. Despite their curiosity, they had no real desire to stick around the DAPC any longer than absolutely necessary, and couldn't imagine why they would be needed to guard a single unarmed woman in a room full of other armed authorities.  
Mizu was not nearly so apathetic. "There's no WAY I'm leaving until I get an explanation for what happened back there."  
Junko winced. "Oh. Uh... do you know Corporal... er, Tsuya? Was that his name?"  
"Corporal? What corporal?" Mizu asked in confusion. "I'm talking about you nearly raping Ranma, you freak!" The pigtailed man next to her flinched.  
The redhead sweatdropped. 'Of course she'd be concerned about me trying to take Ranma, and wouldn't care a bit about me actually taking some other guy.'  
"Your concern is appreciated," Asuka said calmly, turning toward Mizu, "but Junko is totally within her rights to divulge this issue exclusively to her own department. As her superior officer, I'll then decide if it warrants telling everyone else. I'll have to ask you to leave."  
Mizu narrowed her eyes. "And I'll have to ask you to shove off; you're not my superior, and I have a personal interest in this matter. Don't try and reduce it to an inter-departmental situation!"  
Many of the others winced at the response, and watched the tension rise as the Core solider glared into Asuka's eyes.  
The bluette raised an eyebrow, and glanced back toward Junko. "Chikiko, what do you say? If you want her out, we'll get her out."  
Junko groaned when the raven-haired girl turned to glare at her. "No, no, it's okay. Though I'd appreciate it if you didn't repeat what I'm about to tell you to anyone else, Kotetsu."  
She took a deep breath.  
"Question," Snake said suddenly, interrupting the redhead while raising his hand. "Is there a REASON why she's going to give us a long-winded backstory wrapped up in a plastic tarp instead of getting dressed first?"  
There were sweatdrops all around.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, much better," Junko said, feeling less self-conscious and ashamed now that she was clothed again.  
Asuka patted the back of a chair meaningfully as the other officers stopped talking and gathered around. Junko sobered and sat down.  
"Well, I suppose I should start at the beginning," the redhead said as she leaned back into her chair. "I was born twenty-five years ago next June as Akina Chikiko, loving daughter of Touryu and Shinane Chikiko."  
Asuka nodded silently as everyone else stared in confusion.  
"Wait... so your, uh, 'other personality' is the REAL personality?" Ranma asked, tactlessly as usual.  
Junko rolled her eyes. "She would be the original, yes. But she's no more or less 'real' than I am. I have a unique form of multiple personality disorder. There are two personalities: me, who you know as Junko, and Akina. Except under certain circumstances, I'm in control by default. The personality traits and parts of my brain that make Akina who she is - what makes her different from me - remain totally dormant until she wakes up, and I become dormant as a result."  
"But back to the beginning: all things considered, Akina had a pretty normal infancy. Nobody noticed anything particularly strange about her, except that she seemed extremely empathetic. While babies can often pick up the general mood of the surrounding people and tend to emulate it, Akina did so with a level of frequency and accuracy that easily qualified as bizarre. If someone was troubled but trying to hide it, she'd become sullen and unresponsive. If someone nearby was visibly frustrated, instead of crying she'd usually get grumpy and throw things at the wall of her crib. When her parents became aroused, she'd become extremely affectionate and demand attention."  
Tiro winced. "Ouch. There's a mood-killer."  
Asuka remained silent, but took careful mental notes. It didn't escape her notice that Junko clearly referred to the experiences of her youth as those of another person.  
"The thing was, Akina was... uhm, is, a psychic," Junko explained nervously, scratching her arm. "She responded easily to other people's emotions because she was experiencing them as if they were her own. Nobody really knew anything was wrong until she started going to kindergarten."  
Junko looked very nervous now. "Being put in a room with so many over-reactive, short attention spans drove her senses into overload. She found just being in the same room with so many kids exhausting, and started having seizures and fainting spells. But the doctors could never find any explanation for her problems, or why it only happened at school."  
Tycho raised his hand. "So, can Akina read minds, or what?"  
"No. Or at least, she's never succeeded on the few occasions she's tried. She's extremely sensitive to emotional responses because they resonate with her on a very basic level. Organized thought is too complicated for her to pick up, and she's never bothered to try and practice to see if she could manage it with effort." Junko explained. "Because she didn't have anyone who even understood what was wrong with her, much less how to deal with it, her subconscious picked up the slack by trying to erect barriers around herself. And it mostly worked. The mental walls she used to keep the barrage of emotions out ended up isolating her, and emotional walls soon followed the psychoreactive ones."  
The redhead sighed. "So Akina, the bouncy, passionate little girl soon became cold, dispirited and detached. Depression set in soon afterwards, but it wasn't any big deal. At the very least, Akina had become functional and no longer had trouble staying conscious at school, so everyone let things be for a while. Looking back, it was probably the lesser of two evils; either be shut off from others completely and suffer withdrawal from the lack of emotion, or be driven further into a frenzy by the uncontrollable cascade of feelings until she began going insane from the stress."  
Junko's face darkened. "Of course, then something happened to her. Something that crushed the imperfect mental barriers like styrofoam. Something that happens to everyone: puberty."  
Ranma looked confused as everyone else winced and nodded somberly. "Whoa, wait, whaddya talking about? What's the big deal about puberty?"  
"What's the big deal?" Sakura asked, shocked. "It's such an awkward age! The body's changing, and all the hormones!"  
Ranma's brow furrowed. "Hormones?" Of course, he understood the change in his body; finally getting longer arms and legs had been the turning point in his training, as he was finally able to compete with Genma in everyday sparring once his father no longer had such an extreme advantage in reach. Other than that, he couldn't think of any notable experience with adolescence.  
"Yes. Hormones," Junko said bitterly. "The emotional and psychoreactive barriers had never had to deal with anything like it; with Akina's emotions surging behind her shell, they were too weak to hold it back for long." She winced, as if recalling a particularly painful memory. "And then, they broke."  
"They broke? And then what?" Snake asked excitedly. "Did you light the school on fire? Murder an annoying teacher?"  
"No, nothing like that," Junko deadpanned. "Though the effect was spontaneous, it wasn't so spectacular. Akina had become a virtual calculator with her psychic powers subdued; no emotion, no empathy, only logic and fact mattered. When the repressed emotions of about ten years suddenly spilled into her, she did her best to keep them repressed, pitting her own cold will against the overpowering urges. She probably would've succeeded too, but her psychic power interfered. Over the time her powers were dormant, they had grown and matured; instead of helplessly absorbing emotional output, her powers emphasized HER emotions and thoughts, amplifying them and relentlessly seeking similar psyches to absorb. I guess that because her mature powers finally broke free when Akina was experiencing a lot of lust and aggression, they became her central focus. She doesn't think of much other than sex; she barely CAN. The sensations dominate her."  
She shook her head. "It was such a HUGE shift, too. Akina didn't date at all because she thought of relationships as being pointless expenditures of time and energy without any real benefit, and always brushed off guys who hit on her. And then, suddenly..."  
Tiro nodded seriously as he and Tycho leaned forward, completely entranced. "Fascinating. Continue, please."  
"I assume that there's a story of blooming teenage romance that goes along with all this background?" Tycho asked hopefully.  
Junko frowned. "Nah. It's just a bunch of hormones and cheesecake. Not much romance."  
"We'd be willing to listen regardless," Tiro said quickly, squeezing the redhead's hand comfortingly. Asuka rolled her eyes.  
"Well, okay. It was when Akina was fifteen years old, and had this biology project to do with a classmate..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Pant! Pant!_  
Akina looked in the mirror as bright red, wet hair clung to her cheeks, a desperate, nearly enraged expression on her face.  
She threw aside the towel that had been wrapped around her, and watched as her breasts - coming in quite nicely so soon after her fourteenth birthday - bounced gently, free from any restraint.  
As she grasped the edge of the sink, she brought her face closer to the mirror as she panted for breath, watching intently as sweat beaded over her forehead and over her body, indistinguishable though they were from the ordinary droplets of water from her bath.  
"Gotta stop this... gotta get a grip," the redhead mumbled to herself as she kept staring in the mirror.  
It wasn't working. It wasn't enough. It was never enough. Each time she pleasured herself to try and reach some level of satisfaction, the relieving calm that followed was shorter and shorter. This time it hadn't worked at all; even after climax, she still couldn't stop the images from bombarding her, the temptation growling at her like an empty stomach demanding it be filled.  
Akina grit her teeth. 'No. Just calm down. Drink something cool, start reading your notes, and think about the project. THE PROJECT! Not your partner.'  
Her eyes glanced at the clock that hung above the toilet. Twenty minutes until Ryuji Toda arrived, unless he came early, which he usually did.  
Akina rubbed her forehead as she felt heat roll through her body like a bolt of lightning. This was wrong, completely wrong! She couldn't be reduced to a hyperventilating wreck just thinking about a boy; she wouldn't!  
And what a boy to be losing it for, too... Ryuji was shorter than she was, bespectacled, and had all the muscle definition of a bowl of oatmeal. She was the very definition of a blooming beauty, with round, curvy hips and a swelling bustline. If she was going to be going after any man, it should have been the cream of the crop; star athletes or wealthy scholars. She had the body for it, and a comparable intellect. She could have had anyone she wanted.  
But that didn't matter. No star athletes or wealthy scholars would be coming alone to her house while her parents were out celebrating their anniversary. Instead a run-of-the-mill nerd with a fast food job and glasses you could use to fry an anthill was going to be knocking at her door. A kid with no prospects beyond computer repair and who considered being able to name every pilot who attempted the Death Star run from memory a worthwhile talent. And this annoying little nobody was going to come to HER house to finish up the models for their biology project because she didn't have a ride to get to his house instead. Just her and the ubernerd. All alone.  
Her mouth watered at the prospect. She wanted him. She NEEDED him. His looks and prospects didn't matter, only his biology. He was a man, and tonight she would become a woman.  
'NO!! I have to calm down!' She thought, squeezing her eyes shut as she started splashing cold water from the sink onto her face.  
It would be so easy. She was the very definition of a hot, young piece. He was a random geek who couldn't even talk to a girl unless he was being paired up with her in class by the teacher. What was he going to do, say no?  
Hell, if he did say no, could he stop her anyway?  
_Slap!_  
She stared wide-eyed into the mirror as the red mark on her face slowly faded. 'Did I just seriously think about raping my biology partner?' Akina's grip on the sink tightened as she felt more conflicting emotions welling up inside her.  
'What's wrong with me? Is this normal? What should I do?' Her teeth clenched in frustration, and she didn't notice as small cracks began to appear in the sink where she gripped it.  
"Just stop it! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!" She suddenly screamed.  
Then she reached her hand back, and punched her reflection.  
To say Akina was stunned was quite the understatement. As the sound of breaking glass and twisted metal echoed in her ear, bits of glass cascaded into the sink below, and the redhead stared at the hole she had made in the door of the medicine cabinet.  
Gasping, she immediately pulled her hand back and started to whimper reflexively, expecting blood and a series of sharp pains all over her hand.  
A lighter gasp came from her lips. Her hand wasn't cut. It wasn't even scratched. She didn't feel any soreness that would normally come from punching a hard surface. It was as if her hand hadn't impacting anything at all.  
Akina looked back to the medicine cabinet. Typical bathroom setup; a mirror atop a thin plate of stainless steel. It was hardly made to take impacts, but there was no way she should have been able to put her fist through it without slicing up her knuckles but good.  
She tried picking up one of the shards of glass, and then winced when a sharp point stuck her in the finger. Most odd.  
Though she really should have been concerned with her hand above all else, she couldn't help but feel her libido pressing her once more, almost as if it was upset about being briefly forgotten amongst the sudden adrenaline.  
That's when she saw it through the hole she had made in the mirror. A non-descript blue paper box with a picture of its product on the side.  
'Condoms. Protection. Yeah, I'll need those,' she thought briefly before shaking her head violently. Why were these in her bathroom?  
A memory surfaced. Oh, right. After getting "the talk" from her mother, they had been purchased and put there "just in case" (without her father's knowledge, of course, as he didn't want the temptation of safe sex burdening his sweet, pure daughter). She had ignored the entire affair and hadn't given it another thought.  
Akina came back to the here and the now just in time to catch herself reaching for the box. She snatched her hand away. 'I WON'T need those,' she thought.  
_Ding-dong!_  
The doorbell rang. Her heart jumped.

Ryuji Toda sighed as he stood outside the Chikiko home, his backpack hanging off of his arm.  
He was feeling just a bit depressed that this was the last time he and Akina would be working on anything together; after their presentation tomorrow, they'd probably never make eye contact again.  
It wasn't that he expected, or even dared to hope for anything different. Despite the rambunctious cheers and encouragement from his friends, there was no way he was going to make a move on Akina Chikiko; girls like her chewed up nerds and spit them onto the sidewalk like gum. The best he could have hoped for was that the redheaded beauty would do her full part with the project and tolerate his presence when it was required.  
She had done so, and he was incredibly relieved. Ryuji found Akina extremely intimidating, and he was pretty sure that if she had winked at him and asked him to whip together the whole thing on his own, he couldn't have managed to stutter out a protest.  
But she hadn't, and instead had taken charge and divided up the work in a cool, professional manner that he found quite comforting. Soon it became apparent that Akina Chikiko was more than just eye candy; she had a good head on her shoulders too, and Ryuji had barely stopped himself from talking about subjects other than biology on several occasions.  
He shook his head. 'Don't even try, man. She's so far out of your league it's not funny. If you ask her out she'll just humiliate you.'  
The front door opened.  
"Ch-Chikiko?" Ryuji asked worriedly, immediately concerned. Akina looked like a complete mess; her hair was uncombed and still wet from a recent shower, her face was flushed, and her sweatshirt and jeans looked like they had been thrown on in a hurry. "Are you all right? You look terrible!"  
He immediately flinched back at the look she gave him, though he wasn't entirely sure what it was. It didn't LOOK like a glare, but it was definitely... intense.  
"I... just got out of the shower..." the redhead mumbled staring at the ground.  
"Oh. Were you working out or something?" Ryuji asked curiously. The way she was panting heavily, it made perfect sense that she'd be exercising, and then maybe rushing into the shower when she realized that he'd be over soon.  
"Yessss... or something..." she mumbled again, finally moving so that Ryuji could move past her. "You're early again."  
"Yeah, sorry," he said quickly as he moved past her. "Just a habit I guess. I could've waited if you were still toweling off, though."  
"... Don't worry about it," Akina said softly as she watched him move into the living room, her eyes glued to his rear. All other physical inadequacies aside, he DID have a cute butt. She licked her lips.

Ryuji turned around as he heard a slapping noise, and his eyes boggled as he watched the redheaded girl strike herself in the side of the head repeatedly. "Uh... Chikiko, look. You're obviously not feeling 100. The project is nearly done anyway. Why don't you go to bed and get some rest, and I'll wrap things up at home? I can give you the presentation notes tomorrow."  
"Oh, I'm going to bed, all right," she mumbled as her eyes narrowed at him. "But you're not going anywhere... No! Sorry!"  
"What?" Ryuji asked in confusion as his partner started slapping herself again. He was starting to get seriously worried. While he had seen Akina getting slightly flustered in his presence before, usually at the end of a long research session, she looked absolutely frantic and exhausted now. "Chikiko, here, let me help you to your room, okay?" Putting down his backpack, he carefully took the redhead's arm and pulled it over his shoulder. Akina offered no resistance; it was as if her arms had become rubber.  
"Ryuji... you're so sweet," Akina mumbled in a daze. Her face had flushed even deeper, and she started perspiring even more heavily.  
Absently, her free hand slipped into her pocket, grasping a small foil-wrapped package.  
She could feel him. Not just the soft, warm body holding her up, but the swirl of emotions besieging his mind. He was concerned, and more than a little scared. But she could feel something else underneath his emotional shell, something familiar and comforting: hot, raging, throbbing lust. He wanted her as much as she did him. They wanted each other. Acceptance. Pleasure. Excitement. Satisfaction.  
She pulled the condom out of her pocket.  
"Ch-Chikiko, try not to t-tighten your arm, okay? You're pressing your... uh, your chest is-CHIKIKO?!?! What're yommMNPH!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Junko sighed. "And that was Akina's first time. Right there on her living room floor. The front door wasn't even entirely closed."  
Mizu and the DAPC officers stared at Junko silently, stunned.  
It was Tiro who spoke up first. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say that story is SUPER HOT."  
"Well, it was both of their first times, actually," Junko explained, "so physically, the session was short, awkward, and a little painful. Especially when Akina was so aggressive. Despite that though, the flood of emotions released with his climax, the synchronization of two minds in heat, was more intense and intoxicating than an orgasm." The redhead shifted uncomfortably. "By the time Ryuji finally staggered out the door, they had gotten a lot better at the physical act, too. Practice makes perfect," she said wryly. "That was the breaking point. After that, all the dams had been broken and all bets were off."  
Kyle raised his hand. "How'd their biology project go?"  
Everybody else sweatdropped and gave him disdainful stares.  
"What? It's a fair question!" He protested, crossing his arms over his chest.  
Junko scratched her head. "Well, they didn't completely FAIL it... but Ryuji was way too tired when he got home to get a full night's sleep, much less finish the project by himself. And then they ended up being late to class because when he handed off her notes to her the next morning, she pulled him into the maintenance closet and... uh..." she frowned and lifted up her hands, as if trying to figure something out and then mime it with her fingers, "well, it's complicated to explain, but she pinned between the back wall and a mop bucket, and then used a broom to-"  
"That's quite enough, thanks," Asuka snapped, earning a disappointed look from Tiro. "However, I'm much less concerned with the sex than I am with the killing."  
"Well, it's a long story," Junko admitted, sighing once more. "After the initial release, Akina was a monster uncaged. Sexual experience became the central focus of her life, like some sort of drug addiction. There wasn't a man she'd turn down. And if no one was coming to her, she'd come to them. If he was single - or at least told her he was - she was all over him."  
"And this is different from the way you act... how?" Mizu deadpanned, still flanking Ranma.  
To her credit, Junko didn't respond to the jibe beyond answering the question. "I know I don't think anything of casual sex, but Akina is an addict; a true nymphomaniac. She needs physical pleasure like the captain needs coffee. Akina cut a serious swath through the high school after breaking in Ryuji. She left for school with a fresh box of rubbers, and bought another one right after classes let out."  
Sakura winced. "Okaaaay... how have you not gotten pregnant yet?"  
"That's a good question," Asuka said, rubbing her chin. "For that matter, when you were describing Akina's behavior, you implied that she'd leave a man alone if she thought he was dating someone already. If she was so out of control, why was her behavior tempered like that?"  
Junko frowned deeply as she tried to come up with a good way to phrase her response. "When her mind, well... snapped, her whole brain pretty much became subservient to her psychic sensibilities. That didn't mean that her previous personality vanished completely, though. It's hard to explain... in certain ways, she was calculating and logical, and in other ways - which were far more obvious - she gave in to every impulse and lost herself to her emotions. She recognizes right from wrong, but as a system of possible consequences for bad actions that can be breached if she decides the consequences are worth it." The redhead shrugged. "The possible consequences of not using protection weren't worth the convenience of not having to use it. That's pretty straightforward. When it comes to dishing out punishment for wrongdoings... that's when things started getting ugly."  
Snake started rubbing his hands together. "Ah, now we get to the good stuff!"  
"As you can imagine, a lot of people were upset about Akina's behavior. Most of them girls, of course. Akina left attached guys alone because she didn't want to provoke a girlfriend when she had plenty of legitimate targets around, but plenty of people were still pretty upset. The thing was, Akina didn't care what girls thought of her; she spent all her time around men, even when she wasn't busy riding them. If you didn't have a penis, she couldn't see any reason to acknowledge your existence, much less listen to your views on how women should behave. So it came down to a confrontation."  
"Go onnnnn," Snake said encouragingly, and Ranma too started to lean forward in anticipation.  
"It wasn't that big a deal," Junko mumbled. "A bunch of girls headed by a senior in the Kendo club cut Akina off one day and said that she was an embarrassment to the school and the female gender, and that she should be ashamed. They told her that if she didn't knock it off, 'something bad might happen to her.'" The redhead snorted. "It's really amazing when you look at the mob dynamic between men and women. A mob of boys might have charged if someone had broken their leader's nose. The girls bolted at the first sign of violence from their 'victim'."  
Asuka shrugged. "From what I can tell, that was the intelligent thing to do."  
"Regardless, that incident got swept under the rug somehow, but more and more started to emerge," Junko began again. "It wasn't that Akina was becoming more violent, but rather that she started taking action more and more often in affairs where she deemed a violent response appropriate. For example, Akina never really cared about bullying until that day, but a week later she punched a jock in the stomach for badgering some other kid, and smashed a girl's locker in when that girl planted a threatening letter in her bag. Her violent responses were consistent and measured; she didn't exceed whatever retribution she thought was 'appropriate'. Of course, that wasn't too bad on a high school campus, but a week later, a local street gang turned up dead."  
Snake frowned. "What? No flashback? Tiro got a flashback!"  
Asuka swatted the Texan on the head. "Shut it. So after that, the cat was out of the bag?"  
"Ironically, no," Junko deadpanned. "The murders were never solved; nobody seriously thought that Akina could actually KILL anyone. The first major screw up actually involved the sex, not the violence. She and her physics teacher were caught making out in his car one day, forcing the administration to address this one-student wave of delinquency."  
Sakura looked alarmed. "She even slept with a teacher?"  
"She slept with several. Only one of them got caught, though," Junko explained bluntly. "So the teacher was fired and Akina was expelled." She sighed wistfully. "It was really hard on her... on OUR parents. They had absolutely no control over her and made their throats hoarse lecturing Akina about her behavior. Akina's grades were diving because she saw school as a hunting ground for men and didn't care about education anymore. They tried to rekindle her interest in learning, and warned her about the difficulty she'd have in the future without an education. In return, she nearly gave Dad a stroke by asking how hard it was to make a living as a prostitute."  
"Despite that, she got the point that teachers were more trouble than they were worth, so when she started classes at a different school, she stuck to students. Other than that though, it was just more of the same. Day in, day out, she'd drag boys into broom closets, bathroom stalls, and the back of the library while happily beating anyone who she thought really deserved it. People had plenty of complaints, but there wasn't much anyone could do, and since people who threatened Akina tended to either get threatened back, hurt, or just seduced, things sort of stabilized despite her presence." Suddenly, Junko made a face. "Then along came Kitane."  
The redhead looked up at the others. "I don't really think it needs to be said, but both me and Akina are absolutely, positively, 100 straight. Like, we wouldn't even CONSIDER kissing another woman. We don't have any problem with homosexuals in general, but the thought of touching another girl ourselves is just gross."  
"There's another workplace fantasy down the drain..." Mumbled Tiro, only to get elbowed by Asuka.  
Junko continued, heedless of the interruption. "Kitane Kamezaki... not so straight. She transferred in the middle of the school year, and though the rumors started pretty quickly about her sexual preferences, that topic hardly seemed as interesting with Akina around. I don't know why she took an interest in the school bicycle of all people; I'm guessing it was the lust aura Akina put out all the time. Most girls who might have been interested would pick up on it, but were either turned off by her jumping every man in sight or were intimidated by her disdain for other women and the occasional spurts of violence."  
Junko lowered her head and ran a hand through her hair. "Kitane was brave, though. She decided Akina was worth a shot, and cornered her one day after class with the excuse of needing help with homework."  
"Akina immediately knew something was wrong. For one thing, she never DID her homework, and had a reputation to that effect. But more importantly, she was sensing a lot of lust coming from Kitane, and had no idea why. She agreed to try and help out of curiosity, but Akina wasn't QUITE curious enough to participate with Kitane when she started feeling her up."  
"Any chance we can get a flashback of this?" Tiro asked. This time Asuka slugged him in stomach.  
Kyle, who had been mostly thinking of fortune cookies ever since Junko had said the word 'psychic,' finally decided to try and get a handle on the explanation. "So Akina freaked out?"  
Junko nodded. "Big time. Her mind was an overpowered, hard-wired machine. For the first time since adolescence, it was taking in lust but had nothing to give back; there was no physical or mental synchronization, no nothing. She had no idea what to do. Kitane was trying to convince her that this was good; that it was okay to 'experiment'. And Akina accepted that, but REALLY didn't want to. She wanted to run, but felt she always needed to confront problems and overcome them. She tried to convince Kitane that she wasn't interested, but the girl kept pressing Akina. And at some point she even felt that a violent reaction might be warranted, but that wasn't acceptable since she had made the same sort of advances on reluctant men in the past. Normal minds are capable of rationalization and even hypocrisy, but Akina's was too well-ordered, and at the same time too unstable. It was drinking in Kitane's psyche, and then it suddenly short-circuited."  
The redhead sighed deeply. "The good news is, she didn't hurt Kitane. Akina did scare her terribly though when she had a seizure and literally split the school building in two with an uncontrolled psychokinetic blast."  
Tycho winced. "Yowch. Couldn't you just shout ignorant slurs at her like all the other homophobes?"  
Junko glared hard at him, which was the most emotion she'd showed since she started the story. "FIRST of all, me and Akina are the same person in body only; that was her reaction, not mine. Second of all, we're NOT homophobes. I happen to be an avid yaoi fangirl!"  
All the men in the room groaned.  
"Oh, so it's okay when men do it, but not women?" Tiro deadpanned.  
"Right, like you have steamy fantasies of two of your own gender together!" The redhead snapped back.  
"People, people! Shut up!" Asuka yelled. "Chikiko, while this is all very helpful in explaining the motivations and backstory for someone who we've seen for a combined total of two minutes, I think you should get to the part where you stop being Akina and start being Junko, and how that got switched around."  
"Okay... well, after that, Akina was done for. When she regained consciousness she was locked in an isolated cell, and spent a few hours gibbering to herself insanely. When she was coherent again, people started trying to figure out what she was with little success. Akina's powers were as natural to her as breathing. While she KNEW she was different than other people, she refused to accept that as an isolating influence by investigating it or bringing it to people's attention, so it came as a complete surprise to everyone that she was anything but an overly amorous teenager. But now she was locked up because the power had come loose, and something had to be done about it."  
"And what was that?" Asuka prompted.  
"'Mental reconfiguration' they called it," Junko said wryly, noting that the term seemed to physically hurt Kyle to hear. "There were doctors who wanted to experiment and develop Akina's psychic potential, but my father did everything in his power to steer her away from them and toward doctors who thought they could subdue the irregularity or remove it. It's pretty unsettling that I - Junko - was actually created by a desperate, half-assed chemical and hypnotic therapy treatment attempted by some no-name psychiatrist down in Nara. If I remember correctly, which I might not, there were even a few electric shocks thrown in there. Through a horrendous regimine of drugs and constant psychological bombardment and adjustment, Akina repressed more and more of her psychic potential, and eventually shut it down completely into dormancy."  
"After that, there was no more Akina. I was nearly a blank slate; Akina's entire personality, everything that made her who she was, was built around her psychic abilities. Without that personality, I was like a baby who had been born seventeen years old with all the common knowledge and language skills of someone that age. My parents... our parents were overjoyed, and set up a whole new life for me, with a new school, a new community, and even a new name. Though Dad was pretty upset at how quickly I fell back into Akina's sexual habits, even if it wasn't nearly as bad as before."  
"But this wasn't the last the world had seen of Akina," Asuka guessed.  
Junko let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Right... the incidences are rare, and I don't think anything apocalyptic has ever happened, but on occasion I'll black out and wake up next to some strange guy. Not a completely unique experience, except that I'll never have a hangover in those instances, and sometimes I'll be carrying knives on me. Sometimes I've even woken up covered in blood."  
She shuddered mightily, and then blinked in surprise when she felt someone take her arm and squeeze it gently. She was far more surprised when she saw that Ranma had moved next to her, and seemed to be groping for something to say as he tried to comfort her.

"Look... Junko..." Ranma said slowly, scratching the back of his head as he avoided eye contact, "I don't really know what to say. I didn't know how much you've been through... and I'm REALLY sorry."  
Junko blinked. Repeatedly. "You're sorry? Sorry for what?"  
"Well, partially for running away and leaving you alone in the middle of a mission, and partially for almost shooting you. Or rather, Akina. Although I guess if I shot her it's hardly any different from shooting you, 'cause you share the same body and stuff," Ranma started to babble, feeling quite uncomfortable.  
"You shot at me?" Junko asked, shocked.  
"You missed?" Snake asked, just as shocked and looking rather condescending as well.  
"I missed on purpose!" Ranma snapped. He sobered quickly. "Anyway, I sort of panicked, and I abandoned you. I hope you can forgive me."  
Junko flushed slightly and started twiddling her fingers as she looked down at her lap. "Ah, well... it's no big deal! I should have come clean about this long ago just in case, so it's not your fault! All's well that ends well, right?"  
Asuka took Junko's other arm and squeezed it. The squeeze was NOT gentle, and it was far from comforting.  
"Not so fast, there..." the bluette said evenly. "There are still questions to be answered."  
"Uh... like what?" Junko asked nervously.  
"Well, most importantly, what causes the transition between you and Akina?"  
"Ah. Right..." Junko began feeling over her head, pressing on different parts of her skull. She winced slightly when she pressed on a point on the back of her head. "To be honest, I have no idea just what happens that I end up switching personalities. I remember what Akina does, but the memories are incomplete and distant, like trying to remember something in a book I read long ago. But every time I wake up from blacking out, I have a bruise somewhere on my head."  
There was a long moment of silence as everyone processed this at their own rate to come to the most obvious conclusion.  
Kyle frowned and scratched his head.  
"So... you change when you take a blow to the head?" Asuka said, rubbing her forehead with her good hand.  
Junko shrugged. "Best I can tell. It takes more than just a tap, though. Sometimes I have to get treated for minor concussions afterwards."  
Kyle's expression of concentration intensified, and sweat started to bead on his forehead.  
Junko gulped as Asuka started looking around, and then picked a stapler up off the desk. The way she was gripping the device seemed to indicate that the police captain wasn't looking to staple anything. "Uh... you're not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you?" The others - except Kyle, who was now smacking the heel of his palm into his head in frustration - all looked surprised at the turn of events, and Ranma looked downright terrified.  
"I don't like it either, but I feel I should talk to this 'Akina' personally," Asuka explained calmly, looking totally remorseless for someone who was about to deliberately smash a subordinate's skull in.  
"Wait! Wait! Captain! Don't!" Ranma protested, stepping between the two women. "Look, I understand where you're coming from, but it isn't worth it! You don't want to wake her up!"  
Asuka frowned. "What, do you seriously think that you and Snake can't handle her?"  
Ranma shook his head. "No, it's more like her handling-" _Thock!_  
The pigtailed man jumped at the sound of an impact, and whirled around to see Junko slump down into her chair, insensate. Behind her, Snake lifted up his shotgun and rested it over his shoulder.

"Oh, you did NOT just do that," Ranma said evenly.  
Snake shot him a look. "We have to deal with her sooner or later. Now is fine."  
Mizu looked uneasy. "I'm with Ranma on this; how do you know you can control her?"  
"I don't," Asuka said simply. "I don't intend to control her. Akina isn't a robot or a weapon. She's just a woman with some freaky abilities and a sex addiction. I want to talk to her as a person, not as a tool." Her expression hardened. "And if I decide she's too dangerous, then I'll lock her up as a person, too."  
"B-But even so-" Mizu began to retort, before a cry of surprise and the sound of falling furniture shifted their attention to the side.  
"Hey! No! Stop!" Ranma cried as his pants went flying off to the side. Kyle didn't seem to notice as they landed on his head, as he had shifted into a pose reminiscent of "The Thinker" and was staring at the floor.  
Akina cackled gleefully as she pinned the pigtailed man on the floor. "You're not getting away this time, cutie! We can do this the easy way, or..." she licked her lips. "The HARD way."  
"B-B-B-But," Ranma stuttered out, "we're in front of other people, here!"  
Akina blinked. Then she looked up.  
"Oh. Good point," she mumbled, noting that two of the three women surrounding them were glaring hotly at her, while the third merely looked exceptionally irritated.  
Clearing her throat, the redhead planted her fists on her hips while still straddling Ranma. "Okay. All you girls? Beat it. Guys, the line forms in the locker room. Can we have some privacy now, please?"  
Asuka glared sharply at Tiro and Tycho. "If you take even ONE STEP toward the locker room, I will stab you." She turned her gaze back toward Akina. "Akina, please get off my subordinate. We need to talk."  
"Bugger off," the redhead snapped. "If you won't leave, then WE will." Standing up, she tried to grab Ranma's arm, only to have the pigtailed man dart away and glomp onto Asuka's leg.  
"Don't let her take me!" Ranma cried desperately. "She's already ruined two outfits! My clothes can't take much more!"  
Asuka sweatdropped, and idly noted that Mizu was looking more irritated by the moment. 'She's probably quite a bit upset that he didn't run to her for safety. Why me?'  
Mizu wasn't the only one upset, and while Sakura was too meek to try and interfere, Akina was the antithesis of meek.  
The psychic frowned down at Ranma, and then glared up at Asuka. "You're getting in my way. You'd best stop that. Quickly."  
Asuka brushed off the threat. "Your personal affairs are your business, and for the most part, I don't intend to interfere." Her eyes narrowed. "However, at the moment you're under MY custody, meaning that you're going to sit back down in that chair and answer my questions."  
Akina's eyes narrowed back. "I see your arm is injured. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't give you a matching set."  
_Chak! Cha-chak! Click! Chak! Click! Clack!_ The response was instantaneous, and even Asuka was impressed at how quickly Akina had six gun barrels of varying sizes surrounding her. Mizu and Sakura had drawn as well, and even Ranma was aiming his Jackal from down below, though he was still clinging to her leg with one arm.  
The only person who wasn't ready and willing to make the redhead into Swiss cheese was Kyle, who suddenly stood up while scratching his head. "So... what changes her personality is... bruises?"  
Asuka sighed. 'Why do I even keep him around?'  
Akina, meanwhile, started bigsweating as she glanced around at all the weapons aimed at her from all sides. "Oh. Okay. I guess that's a good reason."  
"Sit down," Asuka said calmly.  
Akina did so, but gave her a dirty look in the process. She wasn't used to being in situations where she didn't have control, and the fact that she had apparently stepped on the toes of the local alpha **female** made it much, much worse.

"Okay then. Now we begin the question and answer session," the police captain said. "First, a debriefing. You sort of stepped in at a time when your counterpart, Junko, was in the middle of a critical counter-terrorism raid. First off, congratulations on performing above and beyond Junko's capabilities," she said neutrally, surprising the redhead. "On the other hand, you left me bleeding on the ground after the area was secure when I requested assistance, but as you're not technically my subordinate I'll let that go. I consider it far more important that you killed nearly all of the enemy units yourself."  
Snake twitched and leaned over her shoulder. "Those were MY kills you stole, by the way."  
Akina blinked up at the Texan. Then she smiled lazily at him. "Mmm? Maybe I can make it up to you."  
"How? By finding bad guys for me to blow up?" Snake asked disbelievingly.  
"Oh, there'll be explosions, all right..." Akina gave him a cat-like grin.  
Asuka cleared her throat. "If we can stop with the innuendo for FIVE BLOODY MINUTES, I can wrap this up and figure out what to do with you," she growled. "You engaged most of the enemy yourself. I've already gotten Ranma's description - Would you let GO of me already? It's embarrassing! - of the enemy soldiers as having a much higher degree of physical ability than the average human. Do you have anything to add to that?"  
Akina frowned and tapped her chin. "Not really. I was WONDERING why they seemed a bit tougher to cut up than usual. Then again, it's been a few years since I last killed anyone, so it's hard to compare."  
"Do you have any details at all on the enemy? Were they doing anything suspicious, or planting any bombs? Did any of them get away?"  
Akina shrugged wordlessly.  
Asuka's eyes narrowed. "Fine. I wasn't expecting much help from you, but I had to at least check. Now that we're done with that, what are you going to do?"  
Akina blinked. "What? What do you mean?"  
Asuka rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Junko's made it pretty clear that you two are mentally independent. Junko is employed by the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment to defend the populace against supernatural threats. You, however, have no obligation to the populace or to this department. This is complicated, not only because you may resurface in the middle of a dangerous operation, but also because that technically makes it illegal for you to run around killing people who you think deserve it. So I'm asking you to make a decision."  
The redhead stared at Asuka, stunned. "A... decision? Me? What are you... I mean... but..." She shook her head to clear it, and her expression hardened somewhat. "Look, when I underwent that 'therapy,' they-"  
"I don't know what those doctors did or tried to do to you," Asuka interrupted. "And to be blunt, I don't care, either. That's somebody else's job done long ago and I'm not interested in dealing with it. But you..." she frowned. "Despite whatever problems you may have in sharing a body with Junko, I'm not prepared to deprive someone of their right to live as they so please without good reason. The way I see it, you have two choices. Three, if you count incarceration, though I doubt that's really necessary."  
Asuka held up her index finger. "Option one is that you can simply fade back into Junko's psyche and become a weapon for the DAPC. You'll go back to being a prisoner in your own mind, and whenever we get in a tight spot we'll just bang the tramp on the head and set you loose on the enemy. You'll be a tool for killing our opponents; never anything more than Junko's trump card."  
A second finger joined the first. "Option two is that you start over. Get a job; hell, go ahead and whore yourself out for a living if you really want to. You can try and find a solution to the nutty mind-warp thing, or maybe a compromise. Maybe find a steady boyfriend and have an actual relationship. Start a family. You know, the things normal people do. You'd have a life of your own again, or at least part of one."  
The tension in the air was palpable as Akina stared at the blue-haired woman like she was crazy.  
Then Akina snorted. "Thanks, but I'll take the weapon option."  
It was only Ranma's expert reflexes that saved Asuka from impacting the floor face-first and possibly injuring her arm further.

"Are you serious?" Sakura asked, gaping. Though she had to admit that what little she'd seen of Akina she didn't like, she'd have to agree that the psychic deserved better than a life of being called into consciousness whenever they needed something difficult done.  
"Well, all that other stuff sounds hard," Akina reasoned, and Ranma again had to strain to keep Asuka from facefaulting. "I mean, get a real job? And a relationship? Ick. More trouble than it's worth." She made a face. "I'd much rather bust out when things get interesting, find a good lay, and then let Junko handle the nine-to-five stuff."  
Asuka gaped. "Uh... well... then I suppose we have no real conflict here, do we?"  
"Guess not," Akina shrugged. Then she smirked and looked around the room. "And speaking of no conflicts, I see a five-to-four guy/girl ratio, and not a single wedding ring!"  
Mizu immediately stepped in front of Ranma. "Then go ahead and take your pick. From one of **them**," she pointed a finger that crossed the other men in the room.  
Snake sweatdropped. "Where does she get off giving us away like that?"  
"What? What's going on?" Kyle asked. "And whose torn-up pants are these?"  
Akina rubbed her chin as she stood up and looked over the four proffered specimens, noting Tiro and Tycho's hopeful expressions.  
Then she turned back around with her hands planted on her hips. "No! I want that one!" She said sharply, pointing at Ranma.  
"Well, you're not getting this one, so back off!" Mizu snapped back.  
"I have a name, you know," Ranma mumbled as he snatched his damaged pants from Kyle and started putting them back on.  
Asuka shook her head irritably. "Look, can we slam you in the head again and get Junko back or something?"  
"No! I want the pigtailed guy!" Akina said, stomping her foot like a child throwing a tantrum.  
"I don't understand... what do you care? Any guy will do, right?" Sakura normally wouldn't have been so quick to judge someone's sexual practices, but both Junko and Akina had made it abundantly clear how low the psychic's standards were.  
Akina stopped to consider the question. "It's hard to say. He's... special. It's like he's more receptive, or puts out more psychic energy than most people or something."  
This got Ranma a few stares, and the pigtailed boy winced. What Akina and Junko knew of as psychic energy, he knew of as ki. While it seemed apparent that Akina was born with tremendous ki reserves and an instinctual ability to use them, he had obtained a similar level of ability with the energy through bloody-minded effort and sheer will.  
'Hmmm... if that's the case...' Consciously, he closed his eyes and slipped into the Soul of Ice.  
Akina blinked. "Hey! Stop that! You're doing that on purpose!" She complained angrily, waving her arms about comically. The other people in the room could only stare, having no clue what was happening between the two.  
As Ranma's psychoreactivity continued to decrease to the point where Akina could barely feel anything from him, she stopped complaining, and then frowned deeply, her shoulders slumping.  
Snake rolled his eyes. "Oh, boy. Here it comes."  
_Sniffle!_  
"Gack!" Ranma's concentration snapped immediately. "Wait! Don't cry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"  
_Glomp!_ "HA!! Gotcha!"  
"Get off of him, you little slut! Barbie, help me out here, would you?!"  
"Don't call me Barbie!"

Asuka started massaging her head as the situation promptly began to decline. "Well, crap. Either the drugs are wearing off, or these people are simply too stupid for modern medicine to handle."  
She turned to the side, ignoring the swiftly escalating sexual harassment conflict taking place in the HQ lobby. "Snake, I'm going home for the evening. I've been shot; I figure I deserve it. I want you to take over giving nasty, threatening responses to anyone who calls to complain about how we handled things back there."  
"Aw, man," Snake complained, "I hate taking office calls. The sound of a shotgun being cocked just isn't as scary over the phone."  
"Spare me the whining, please," the blue-haired woman snapped. "Also, I want you to get Seras down here, and you two can personally handle the containment of the bioweapon container. There are quite a few researchers who want to get their hands on samples of that stuff without having to try and dig it out of zombie flesh."  
"Well, that sounds slightly less boring," Snake mumbled, glancing around the lobby. "Say... where did we put that thing, anyway?"  
Asuka blinked as she got one of her occasional feelings of impending Doom. "Wait... who was carrying the container? That thing was too heavy for any normal person to carry it."  
Snake easily completed the thought to its logical conclusion. "And the only two people we have abnormal enough to cart it around are Ranma and Kyle."  
Kyle perked up upon hearing his name. "If you're looking for the big metal thingy, I left it in the garage. Hunter looked like he wanted to play with it, so I figured we wouldn't want it spilling that virus gunk inside if he broke it."  
Asuka felt the need to insult him, but whether it was from a lack of vocabulary or the lasting effects of the meds, she just couldn't think of a term strong enough before something else caught her attention.  
That something else was the zergling in question, who was trotting into the room after hearing his name called.  
In Hunter's jaws was the biohazard container... already split open, and spilling little puddles of thick, green goo onto the floor.  
Kyle clicked his tongue. "See? This is exactly what I was afraid of. Bad zergling!"  
Some of the others had a more expressive response in mind. "GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Igov's face would have been likened to an iron mask whether or not there had been a shred of actual iron in it.  
Given that a decent chunk of his visage WAS actual metal, complete with glowing red sensor that most people imagined (incorrectly) could shoot lasers, being stared down by Igov was a lot like staring into the barrel of a tank's cannon.  
Rain poured down from above, muting the Russian's heavy footfalls as he paced the length of the courtyard. His gaze wasn't piercing, angry or hateful.  
But every man standing in the long line out in the rain could attest to the power of his stare. Each one could feel a cold ball of ice form in their stomach when they made eye contact, as if the gentle caress of the Reaper had crossed them along with the general's gaze.  
Igov came to a stop before the middle of the row, and regarded the men silently as heavy droplets pelted his shoulders and dripped from his hair.  
"All of you come from Japanese maximum security facility," the Russian began calmly, hands clasped behind his back. "Freedom's Angels go to great expense to free you from imprisonment, just or unjust as it may be. Angels grant you freedom, as is moniker."  
His cybernetic eye made an ominous humming noise as it rotated, somehow standing out perfectly above the sound of the rain and the men's own pounding hearts.  
"You all here, however, judged to be weakest link." He held up a finger and lowered his gaze, as if in regret. "Those too weak. Too sick or injured. Too frightened. Or, at least, not frightened enough of Freedom's Angels."  
He waited until the ex-convicts finished gulping nervously.  
"There some, among you, even refuse service on... MORAL ground," Igov said the word curiously, as if he was unfamiliar with the idea. "Some of you never kill before. Others intend to leave life of crime. Is understandable."  
Despite desperately wanting to believe that the last sentence was indication of approval and compliance, none seriously thought it was going to be that easy.  
"Not everyone is suited to be soldier," Igov explained, pacing once more in the rain and rubbing his chin. "However, there ways you may serve in... what is term... 'other capacities.'" The Russian looked quite pleased, and smiled amiably at the freed criminals.  
One of the more suicidal men growled. "You can take that shit and shove it! I 'aint stickin' around you clowns! I'm no fan o' the government, but I'd rather be locked up than shot!"  
"You bastards are sick!" Another idiot shouted. "What point is there in killing all those innocent people? What'd they do? Where's the profit in that?"  
Igov simply shrugged. "Terrorism has always been more... long-term crime than you probably used to. You have to see big picture."  
"I see a big picture, all right! It has a big graveyard full of you idiots and littered with your burning war machines!"  
"We won't join you! Either execute us or let us go!"  
Igov chuckled.  
All other speech stopped at the noise, each man suddenly feeling incredibly insignificant and helpless before the cyborg.  
"You cannot be freed. You have seen our facility and may find this area again. You will not be executed. Is a terrible waste after Igov go to such trouble to free you."  
He gazed up at them, a slight smirk stretched over his face. "You will be recycled. Is trendy thing to do with moderately useful rubbish like you."  
The ex-convicts didn't know exactly what to make of that, but they certainly didn't like the sound of it.  
"Recycled? The hell we will be!" The first man to speak out stepped forward. "You're out here all alone, shithead! You think you can take us all on?!" Although all the convicts stepped forward, prepared to rush the cyborg, many were quite hesitant in doing so.  
Igov, surprisingly, saluted sharply. "You earn respect in final moments. Is good to go out fighting for life rather than die helpless. You all strong men."  
_Chung! Ssshrip!_ Igov's left forearm suddenly burst apart into metal tubes that spun wildly around the circumference of his arm before snapping into place parallel to each other around a central rotator.  
The Russian dropped his salute as he pointed the minigun forward, its barrels still spinning from the transformation. "Now die, so that you may be reborn in steel."  
_Brakka-brakka-brakka-brakka-brakka!_

A lone figure clicked his tongue as he dropped down from the fire escape. He was wearing a poncho to keep the rain off, and held a briefcase tightly in his arms.  
"Now that was just mean, aiming low like that; look, most of them are still alive!" Wolf said. Although the criticism certainly sounded light, his expression was one of genuine distaste. Murder he could understand, even if it wasn't for direct profit, but he took no pleasure in unnecessary suffering.  
"Is better that way," Igov said evenly as he watched the German approach through the rain. "The less organs damaged, the better. Legs make easy to replace." Gripping his left bicep, he pulled back on it, causing dozens of empty casings to spill out of his torn-up sleeve and spill onto the ground.  
Wolf stared at the bleeding bodies in disgust. "Whatever. I'll help you as long as I get paid, but I'd rather not know the details of your work. Don't want to get in too deep, you know?"  
"Is understood. Do you have goods?" Igov asked as his left arm slowly shook itself apart and started reforming back into a hand (a much more time-consuming process than the reverse). "You back much earlier than expected, you know." The Russian general found it irritating that the mercenary was holding the conversation in Japanese, but decided to do the polite thing and maintain the language of Wolf's choice.  
Wolf frowned. "I had to beat feat out of the U.S. They're REALLY paranoid about this whole 'terrorist masterminds stealing superweapons' thing. Can't imagine why," he deadpanned. "I may have substantially reduced CIA headcount on my way out of America. Or at least generated a lot of workman's comp paperwork. I was too busy to worry about where the knives landed."  
"Are notes complete?"  
"For all I know. You can look them over, but I'd like to negotiate a higher fee for my services," Wolf said evenly, patting the side of the briefcase. "These were WAY harder to get than you'd estimated, and it's going to be a lot harder for me to move around Germany from now on."  
"Hmmm..." Igov regarded the mercenary with a sidelong look, then shrugged and beckoned him forward with his left hand, twitching the blocky, metallic finger toward himself. "Very well. Come."  
Wolf began to follow, only stopping briefly as he saw dog-sized, four-legged robots emerge from the rain-drenched alleys to grab onto the fallen criminals before dragging them away.  
'There's something very bad going on here... I might just come to regret this...'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, that was slightly less apocalyptic than I'd initially guessed," Asuka murmured as Ranma finished wrapping up the breach in the biohazard container with a thick layering of duct tape.  
"How is he, Tuko?" Snake asked as he and Sakura stroked Hunters back.  
Seras peered into the zergling's mouth, though he was very careful not to actually touch the alien's beak. "Well, I don't see any signs of infection in the exposed tissue, and I certainly don't expect that the T-virus would have any effect on him anyway. Hunter's DNA is too different from Earth-based life for virii to infect easily, and his rate of regeneration would probably exceed the virus's rate of reproduction by too far a margin for the virus to take hold of the central nervous system before the immune system kicked in."  
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "So he'll be all right?"  
"I can say with near-certainty that if Hunter rips your throats out, it will be of his own unencumbered will," Seras said with a tone of formality.  
Asuka nodded as Tycho finished mopping up the last of the virus spills, and then turned to Snake. "All right; NOW I'm leaving. Please see to the tasks I gave you."  
Snake nodded reluctantly. "All right, fine. So, is Commander Tekai in charge?"  
"Well, given that..." The blue-haired woman trailed off. "Wait. Where IS Kyle?"  
Tycho clicked his tongue as he pulled back the lever on the mop bucket, squeezing the mop dry as murky green sludge dripped into the soapy water underneath it. "Akina's gone too. Do the math."  
"Aw, man!" Tiro complained as he stood up from where he had been scrubbing the infected spots on the floor. "Why him?"  
"I'd guess that physical superiority was a close second to empathetic reactivity," Seras said, terribly confusing most of those present. "Yamazaki, could you take Hunter for a walk? He seems rather lethargic."  
Asuka frowned at the zergling, which stared forward sleepily. "Are you sure that isn't the virus trying to take effect?"  
"If the snippets I heard of Chikiko's story are true, it probably has more to do with the sudden concentration of psychic energies saturating the area and confusing his senses," Seras guessed. "Though I can't rule out the possibility. If Hunter suddenly drops dead, I advise you destroy the corpse immediately."  
"What?! We can't do that!" Sakura squeaked, hugging the alien around the neck protectively.  
Asuka frowned. "Yamazaki, you're under orders to do exactly that if the need arises. Fighting aliens and undead is bad enough, but I refuse to fight undead aliens. It's ridiculous, and I won't have it."  
Tiro groaned. "Okay, okay."  
"Good. I'll drop by tomorrow to get things organized, but on the whole I'm going to be getting some rest while my arm heals. I'll see you all later."

Ranma held up the large metal cylinder as he inspected the duct tape wrap, noting with satisfaction that it was completely dry. "Okay, so now what do we do with it?"  
"I recommend fire, and lots of it," Mizu said stonily, standing behind Ranma as images of her first zombie encounter flashed through her mind.  
Seras planted his fists on his hips. "Maybe later. For now, that stuff's going into storage. Third sub-level, in the liquid bio-containment lab. Just put it in one of the empty fluid cells."  
"Gotcha," Ranma said, lifting the containment vessel onto his shoulder and starting toward the old service elevator.  
Mizu frowned, and then followed after him.

"So, Ranma... it's been a while since we've had a chance to get together," the raven-haired woman said evenly.  
"Yeah, I guess it has. Have you been real busy lately? I know the city's been stepping up its defensive patrols."  
"Oh, sure, but it's nothing big. I can still get a weekend off as long as there are no bombs going off or mecha roaming the streets." She wet her lips as she prepared to cut to the chase. "By the way, remember that period of time a while back where I took charge around here for a few days?"  
"Of course!" Ranma said cheerfully as he stepped through the torn-out wall and into the elevator car. _Clang!_  
Ranma winced as the container over his shoulder struck the edge of the elevator door, and lowered it so that he could bring it into the elevator. "So, why do you... uh..." he sweatdropped as he saw Mizu pressed against the far wall away from the elevator, panting as she stared hard at the heavy metal cylinder.  
"Be CAREFUL with that thing!" She gasped out, her heart rate slowing as she observed that no fluid was leaking from the container.  
The pigtailed man sweatdropped. "Geez, would you chill out? The container wall is like an inch thick; banging it around a little 'aint gonna do nothing."  
Mizu grit her teeth. "That would be a lot more reassuring were it not for the fact that DUCT TAPE is all that's keeping lethal retro-viral toxins from spilling out all over us!" Honestly, she loved Ranma dearly, but the man sometimes acted like he had no regard for his own life.  
"Calm down. Even if it does spill, it's not like it'll jump out at you," Ranma reasoned, grabbing the old operating lever. "You coming or not?"  
Giving a last strangled whimper, Mizu stepped into the elevator car, squeezing herself tightly into the corner farthest from the cylinder of bioweapons. Ranma pulled the lever, and the elevator door slid shut as the entire car started to shake and begin its descent.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Mizu began again uneasily. "Do you remember what you promised me in return for my helping you out?"  
Ranma was silent for several moments.  
"Uh... I'm going to say yes, but why don't you tell me anyway?" He hedged. Really, he had no clue what he had said in order to get her help, but he remembered being desperate at the time.  
Mizu rolled her eyes. If he had promised anything specific she might have been upset, but as her reward was to be some undefined favor, she let it pass. "I want you to take me out tonight. On a date. To a nice restaurant, and then to a movie. Complete with cuddling and a goodnight kiss."  
Ranma blinked. Twice. "Wait... a date? You want me to take you on a date?"  
Mizu smirked and nodded. "What? I was slimed by a tentacled mutant and nearly eaten on three different occasions. I think a date is a fair trade for my trouble, don't you think?"  
"I-It's not that," Ranma stuttered, blushing suddenly. "But, don't you think dating is moving things a little... you know, fast? We're not even engaged!"  
All was silent, save for the rumbling of the elevator moving past the first sub-level.  
"What?" Mizu finally responded, dumbfounded. "Ranma, I know that arranged marriage business sort of... well... complicated your idea of romance and relationships, but people don't have to be engaged in order to go out on dates."  
"Well, then people are crazy," Ranma mumbled, remembering the dates he had gone on in the past and reasoning that any man who would subject himself to that madness without already having a substantial commitment to his partner must be completely insane. "But for you? Sure. What time?"  
"I'll pick you up at seven," the raven-haired woman said, suddenly all smiles. "Try not to get in any fights with gigantic mutants this time, okay?"  
"No promises," Ranma mumbled as the elevator ground to a halt. "So, are you coming in, or...?"  
"No, I got what I wanted," she said, still grinning. Before Ranma could step out of the elevator car, though, she stepped forward and hugged him, quickly pecking him on the cheek. "I'll see you later, okay?" She asked, quickly stepping back into the car as Ranma stumbled out of it, caught by surprise.

The pigtailed man blushed in silence as the elevator door closed, and he shook his head as he returned to the job at hand.  
'Oh, man... Mizu wants to date me? What should I do?' Ranma thought nervously as he searched for the fluid lab. 'Why does this always happen? Why can't I have just a regular friendship with a girl without it getting complicated?'  
To Ranma, romance was something that ruined relationships, not something that built them. Every friendship he'd ever had with a girl had been lost as soon as that girl saw him as a potential husband. And though he understood now that most romances were built on trust and affection rather than paranoid possessiveness and violent retribution, he still much preferred being on platonic terms with women.  
'Then again, what kind of relationships do I really have with the girls I know?' He thought to himself, his brow furrowing.  
Sakura had a crush on him that was so obvious even he could see it, though he made no move to encourage or discourage her. It hadn't manifested as anything other than affectionate chit-chat and wistful sighs, but he was pretty sure that if she had possessed the backbone, she would have come on to him long ago.  
Junko... well, he was pretty sure she saw him just as a friend, but she had a very different idea of what friends were than most people.  
Akina wanted him, period. There was no ambiguity there. Again, she wanted a different sort of relationship with him than most girls, but the psychic didn't seem to want to be "just friends" at all.  
Then there was Asuka.  
Ranma stopped short and put down the bioweapon container before rubbing his chin. What did Asuka see him as?  
A subordinate? Hopefully he had proven himself trustworthy enough to do more than just take orders from her. Yet, looking back on his experiences with Captain Takami, Ranma couldn't recall a single time she had ever really opened up to him.  
Then again, she didn't open up to anybody. Even when speaking to Junko during her psychiatric evaluation she had supposedly been very reserved and dodgy.  
'Well, I'm going to be training her soon, so maybe that'll change,' he thought, nodding to himself as he picked the container up again and approached the storage vats.

"Now how am I supposed to do this, anyway?" Ranma wondered aloud, looking over the giant glass cylinders in the rear of the lab. Each one had a nozzle at the bottom attached to a small electric engine, complete with a short hose.  
Ranma put the biohazard container down, and then searched it over. Finding a protrusion on the side that looked vaguely like a spout, he fitted the end of the hose onto it and then flipped the switch on the engine.  
_Vvvvvvhhmmmmmmm..._ The end of the hose tightened over the spout as the vacuum started up, but Ranma quickly noticed that the storage unit wasn't filling up.  
After scratching his head for a moment, he grabbed the spout and tried to twist it, hoping that was how the vessel was opened. When at first it refused to accommodate him, he lifted the container onto the table to get better leverage.  
"Uuuuurgh... Just... a little... more..." Ranma grunted as he felt something start to give, like a pickle jar that was just on the verge of opening.  
Of course, Ranma had no trouble opening pickle jars, because Ranma was strong enough to punch a hole through a concrete wall.  
Ranma DID have trouble twisting off pieces of reinforced steel that were not made to twist off, but as he soon learned, superhuman strength and the legendary stubbornness required to attain that strength would prevail over a particularly sturdy container.  
_CRNK! Gloosh!_ "Bleaugh!" Ranma cried out in disgust as a thick green substance gushed out at him, splashing over his face and then dripping down his arms as he fumbled to fit the suction hose over the opening.  
_Sssshloop!_ The pigtailed man coughed and spat up a blob of bioweapon as the hose found purchase on the container, and the containment vat began to quickly fill up with the vile substance.  
"Pthooey! Yuck..." Ranma groaned as he looked down at his clothes, which were now soaked and covered with a green film. "Aw, damn it. This stuff probably stains..." then he frowned. "Wait... isn't it poisonous or something?"  
Though Ranma had been present during one of Seras's explanations of the T-virus, he, like every other male officer in the group, had zoned out while thinking of personal interests. None of them particularly cared about the conventions by which the dead could rise again to plague the living, so long as they were reasonably assured that shooting the blasted things in the head would stop them.  
"Crap! I've gotta wash it off!" Shutting off the vacuum engine and quickly stashing the biohazard container in the corner, Ranma dashed for the bathroom.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, Snake? Seriously. You're going to have to reign in your homicidal tendencies for just a little while," Tiro deadpanned. "Captain's coming back tomorrow. She'll be REALLY pissed if the HQ isn't still standing then."  
Snake frowned as he continued scanning under the desk. "Hey, Wattai? Can you do me a favor? Whine a little louder and see if you can coax the little bastard into fleeing for the floor vent."  
The driver glared at him. "With all due respect, LIEUTENANT, the worm creature was one thing, but you don't need a shotgun to kill roaches. It's just-"  
_BLAM!!_ "Damn it! The little freak ran under the filing cabinet!" Snake growled, picking up the empty shell casing and dropping it in the nearby garbage can, which would have seemed like a substantial gesture if he hadn't just taken a chunk out of a hardwood desk.  
"Hey, what's with all the noise?" Tiro asked irritably as he entered the office.  
Tycho sighed and scrubbed his hair with his hand. "When Tuko made those tunnels underneath HQ, apparently he even set them up with a pest infestation. We have a cockroach problem."  
"Nothing a little napalm can't solve," Snake said as he rocked the filing cabinet back and forth, hoping to crush the insect under it. "Or, if that doesn't work, we can always try a LOT of napalm."  
Tiro frowned. "Are we sure that Tuko really built all that stuff himself? I mean, it's implausible enough that he set up all those traps and came up with that crazy robot scheme, but building a sub-facility that big?"  
"That's an interesting point, but more importantly, who cares?" Snake asked, looking through the various grenades he had on his person. "We have more important concerns. Like making living things dead."  
Seras, who was passing by at just the right moment to miss Tiro's comment and hear Snake's, stopped and poked his head into the room. "Speaking of dead things; Yamazaki, I want you to take that dirty mop water down to the lab and put it in the disposal vat on sub-level one."  
Tiro stared at him. "Wait... what? The mop water? Why?"  
The medical officer rolled his eyes. "Why? Oh, I don't know, maybe because it's been contaminated by a lethal retrovirus capable of turning living creatures into mutant zombies? Is that a good reason?"  
Tiro was silent for a moment. "Kind of. But it wouldn't be TOO big a problem if I, hypothetically, already dumped the water into the maintenance room sink, would it?"  
Seras slapped a hand over his face.  
Tycho gulped. "Whoa, wait a minute... you're saying this stuff is in the sewers now?"  
Seras sighed. "No, it's not. This facility was constructed, apparently by individuals of great foresight, with its own independent water and waste treatment equipment in the drainage system to prevent the spreading of any virii or other contaminants into the primary water supply."  
Tiro breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay then! So it's no problem, right?"  
_Splurt! Sssssss..._  
Snake frowned as he stared at the patch of yellowish slime that had barely missed his arm as it started to melt through the side of the adjacent filing cabinet.  
"Tuko? Are there any Japanese roach species capable of spitting powerful acid slime?" The weapons expert asked. "Because personally, I think I would've heard about something like that on the Discovery Channel at some point, you know?"  
Seras glared at Tiro, who gulped and started eyeing the exit. "Oh, sure. No problem at all."  
_HSS!_  
Tycho, Tiro, and Seras all flinched back as the cockroach skittered out from under the cabinet out into the open. Yellowish ochre seeped from around its thorax, and its antennae twitched with unnerving severity toward the police officers. What was even more disturbing was that its carapace had grown a number of small, painful looking horns which had cracked through its wingcase.  
"Uhm... so, all in favor of running?" Tiro squeaked.  
Snake rolled his eyes. "You're an embarrassment to your species, you know that?"  
The cockroach trembled for a moment, then turned sharply toward Snake, its thorax bulging as acidic slime seeped out of the cracks in its shell.  
_Splurt!_  
Snake raised his foot, allowing the spray of acid goo to pass under him harmlessly. Then he put his foot back down.  
_Crunch!_ On top of the cockroach.  
Tycho winced. "Hey! Careful! What if those spines jab your foot?"  
"'What if those spines jab your foot?'" Snake repeated in a mock-whine girly voice. "That's why we wear standard-issue thick-sole combat boots, you sissy." Without further criticisms, Snake raised his leg up and let it fall onto the desk, exposing the splattered insect for the others to see.  
Tiro frowned. "But won't that acid gunk burn through your boots?"  
Seras shook his head. "Treated rubber is all but impervious to most acids. There shouldn't be any problem." Then he resumed glaring at Tiro. "Other than us having an infestation of tiny, acid-spewing monsters, that is."  
"Oh, big freakin' deal," Tiro shot back. "Snake likes killing dangerous things; let him handle it."  
_Slam!_ "Heeeeelp!!"

The four gathered men all rushed out of the room, and stopped short when they looked toward the men's locker room.  
Kyle was struggling to get his pants on with one hand as he held the locker room door closed with the other. Junko - at least, they assumed the terrified redhead was Junko and not her psychic counterpart - seemed to be hyperventilating as she leaned back against the door, holding Kyle's shirt up against her otherwise naked body.  
"R-R-Roaches!" Junko squeaked. "BIG roaches!"  
Snake sighed. "And THESE are the people who are supposed to take on the most dangerous and terrifying freaks in all of Tokyo. This nation is doomed."  
Tiro looked worried. "So, wait, how big are we talking about here?"  
"Well, the mutagenic properties can certainly generate imbalanced secretions from various glands responsible for accelerated growth, causing a surge in body mass. In the short period of time since Yamazaki dumped the virus, I'd say it's possible they've grown... oh, maybe three inches?" Seras guessed, crossing his arms over his chest.  
_Clang! Wham! Clang!_ The steel-reinforced door to the locker room jolted fiercely as Kyle and Junko struggled to hold it closed, and large dents started bulging outward from the metal surface.  
"... Then again, I'm no expert on mutagenics," Seras mumbled, scrubbing his head with his hands.  
"Kyle, aren't you super-strong or something? Why don't you kill them?" Tycho said, glancing around at the surroundings for any more of the mutant creatures.  
"But there were so many!" The blond man complained as the door behind him shuddered again.  
"Okay, okay, calm down, you pansies," Snake muttered. "Since being a human tank isn't enough for G.I. Jitters here, I'll have to take charge." He turned toward Seras. "So level with me; is Raid going to be enough here, or can I justify flamers?"  
_Sssssss!_ "Ow!" Junko jumped away from the door and immediately started scrubbing away at the bit of acid on her leg with Kyle's shirt, mindless of the fact that it left the rest of her body bare.  
Snake frowned as Seras failed to reply. It didn't escape his notice that the drunkard was staring at the redhead rather than the long, serrated claw poking through the rapidly expanding hole in the locker room door.  
"It's a sad day indeed when I end up being the most sensible guy in the room," Snake mumbled. Then he backhanded Tiro, who had been drooling on the floor. "Hey! Snap out of it and get some weapons from the armory! Flamers, napalm grenades, shotguns, ammo, the works! Go!"  
Tiro sulked for a moment, staring longingly at Junko as she scrambled away from the door, abandoning Kyle's shirt to a wild burst of acid. "... You didn't have to hit me, you know..."  
_Thwack!_ "Less whining, more MOVING!" Snake shouted, clubbing the lecher over the head with his shotgun.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rotten lousy no-good jackass of an American lunatic..." Tiro mumbled to himself as he stalked down the corridors of HQ, the sound of shotgun fire blaring in the distance.  
Not that he had any real desire to stick around the main combat against acid-spewing, gigantic insects, but he hated being bullied as much as the next inept loser.  
Also, carrying all those weapons and explosives was going to be hard; they were really heavy!  
Which is why Tiro was overjoyed when he saw Ranma stumble out into the hallway.  
"Ranma! Buddy! Can you do me a favor and help me carry some ammo down the hall?" Tiro asked, stepping up to the pigtailed man.  
In response, Ranma groaned and shuffled forward, his arms slowly reaching out and groping blindly toward Tiro.  
"Huh? Ranma? You okay?" Tiro asked worriedly, his genuine concern for a friend overcoming both the urgency of his task and his need to make it easier. Ranma was shuffling forward toward him rather awkwardly, and his head was down so that his bangs covered his eyes.  
"Muuuhngh..." Ranma moaned, reaching out for Tiro's arm and grabbing him around the wrist.  
"Eh? Hey! What's wrong? Snap out of it!" Tiro said fearfully, something in the back of his mind telling him that something bad was about to happen.  
Ranma trembled for a moment, and then his mouth opened.  
"Blaaurgh!"  
"Gyah!" Tiro jumped out of the way just in time to avoid getting vomit all over his legs and feet. "Dude! Not cool!"  
Ranma just groaned again as he slowly lifted his head up. "I feel terrible," he mumbled.  
"Well, whatever you've got, I don't want it!" Tiro said, shaking his arm free of Ranma's grasp. "And why are you all wet?"  
"Just washed up. Got some gunk on me," the pigtailed man said as he clutched his protesting stomach. 'Whatever this T-Virus stuff is, it is NASTY! I haven't felt this lousy since the last time Akane tried to make tempura!'  
"Yeah, okay, fine. While you're here, come help me move some junk down the hall."  
Ranma groaned again. "What kind of junk?"  
"Ammo and stuff. Snake and the others need it to kill off the giant mutant cockroaches."  
Ranma was silent for several moments, his expression of disbelief broken only by him wincing at the occasional complaint from his stomach. "So now we have giant mutant cockroaches attacking?"  
"Yes. And before you ask if it was my fault, just remember that placing blame doesn't help anyone at this point!"  
Ranma rolled his eyes and staggered toward the armory. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just get the guns. Mizu specifically asked me NOT to get too caught up fighting mutants to meet her tonight."  
"Eh? You going for the gold, Saotome? Way to go!"  
"... Now is SO not the time, Tiro."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, we're all here," Alexandra said as she crossed her arms under her breasts, frowning at Yoshi who was seated next to her. "Igov, what is this about?"  
The Russian bowed wordlessly to his audience, which consisted of Alex, Bei, Yoshi, and a number of high-ranking technicians that were employed directly by the Freedom's Angels rather than Wraith Labs.  
Next to the cyborg was a foreign woman that none of those present had seen before; she was extremely thin, and had pure, snowy white hair that hung in gentle waves to her shoulders. Although she was wearing a lab coat, it was open in the front, revealing a fashionable blue sweater and darker miniskirt.  
Alex had to admit that if it weren't for the coat, she would have pegged the woman as Igov's new supermodel girlfriend, although she personally thought that the stranger didn't even begin to approach her own stunning levels of sex appeal.  
"No doubt you wonder who is beside Igov," the Russian eventually began, standing up straight from his bow. "Igov introduce Doctor Yamiko Nova." He gestured to the woman, who smiled mysteriously and then bowed herself, though it was far more shallow than Igov's.  
"Doctor Nova is scientist of some... what is word... notoriety in Russian circles," Igov began, smirking himself as Yamiko's expression failed to change at the endorsement. "Doctor Nova work for long time in Russia to apply sciences of Igov's late wife. Doctor Nova contact Igov when she make breakthrough, ask for protection from Russian government that seek to track her down as well."  
Alex raised an eyebrow. "And why would they want that? We're suffering enough scrutiny from Russian agents already, don't you think?"  
Yamiko finally spoke up, her voice firm and confident. "My research began to penetrate areas that the cowards that try to run the current government found... uncomfortable." She snorted contemptuously. "The late Mrs. Yuchtzky's designs and theories have the potential to create fearsome weapons, but the current administration of the motherland quails at such things." Her cold expression swifly shifted into a scowl. "To think, our nation used to be a superpower threatening to shatter the world... it's shameful."  
"Yes, yes, I'm not interested in your misplaced national pride," Alexandra said, sighing as she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm much more interested in what technology was deemed 'too hot' for the Russian scientific community to tolerate you."  
Yamiko narrowed her eyes at the brunette, but remained silent.  
Igov rolled his natural eye. "Doctor Nova, if you please?"  
"No. Just a moment," Yamiko said acidly as she stared down at Alex. "General Yuchtzky explained to me who you are, Ms. Tokima, however I must demand some measure of respect, even from a potential superior."  
Alexandra raised an eyebrow as an amused smile crossed her face. Bei growled slightly and scooted closer to her boss, ready to lash out at the Russian woman at a moment's notice.  
"A 'potential' superior? Either you'll sign on as my inferior - no 'potentials' involved - or you'll be promptly handed over to the Russian authorities," Alex said flippantly, as if the matter was utterly unimportant to her. "In a body bag, that is. Couldn't risk you giving away any of our secrets, now."  
Yamiko's hands clenched into fists, and it looked like she was going to shoot back a retort, when Yoshi suddenly snapped his fingers.  
"Ah! I remember that name now!" He grinned at the startled woman. "You used to work for Umbrella Corporation, correct?"  
THAT got Alex's attention, and the smirk on her face vanished.  
Yamiko was silent for several moments. "... Yes... Yes, I did," she mumbled. "They hired me for a special project... to create a superior type of zombie from their T-virus experiments. The project was codenamed Nemesis."  
Igov, relieved that the tension between Alexandra and Yamiko had temporarily dissipated, nodded encouragingly.  
"We never completed the project, of course, because SOMEONE mysteriously attacked our labs and started buying out our resources," she said wryly, staring at Alex.  
"Inexplicable," the brunette mumbled unapologetically. "Continue."  
"Umbrella collapsed, as did all its plans. However, while I no longer had a job, I did have most of the materials and my previous research. I decided that I was too close to success to leave the project unfinished, so I continued it myself." She smirked. "The results were... not perfect, but VERY promising." She turned toward Igov. "Bring him in."  
Heedless of their difference in rank, Igov obediently stepped to the side and slid a door open, revealing a figure behind it.  
_Clank! Clunk!_ The figure stepped forward silently, each leg making a different noise as they fell heavily upon the steel floors.  
Alexandra raised an eyebrow. The fellow was a cyborg, obviously. A sensor visor had been mounted over his eyes, his face was covered in stitches, and his entire right arm was a bulky, mechanical claw that really belonged on some sort of assembly line rather than on a human being. More of his body seemed to be cybernetic as well, as there were patches of metal and the occasional bolt sticking out everywhere. The only clothes he wore was a pair of loose-fitting black sweat pants and combat boots.  
"So you're building cyborgs. Swell," Alexandra said, marginally impressed at the extent of conversion. "We could use a few more soldiers of Igov's power."  
Igov smirked. "He is not so powerful as that. But more importantly, do you not recognize him?"  
Alex blinked. "Hmm? I can't say I do."  
Bei, however, obviously did. "K-K-Kajiko! Goro Kajiko!"  
Alexandra frowned. The name didn't ring any bells, so he couldn't have been anyone too important. "Yes? What about him?"  
The shorter girl turned toward her. "He DIED three days ago! He made some stupid bet with his buddies and entered the mauler pits! He was torn apart!"  
Alexandra turned sharply back toward the cyborg.  
Igov smirked again. "Unit 01. Say hi to the lovely ladies."  
The cyborg lowered his sensor visor to glare directly at the spectators, and swiveled toward Alex and Bei. Then he raised his mechanical arm, and the claw snapped open and closed a few times.  
_Order processed. Targets identified. Hello._ Unit 01 said stiffly, his voice coming out in an electronic buzz as his lips barely moved.  
Alex was stunned. "Igov... what is this? Are you telling me that this-"  
"Is a zombie?" Yamiko interrupted, smirking insufferably. "More or less. I've developed a procedure called the Mortem Override to use T-virus strains to reactivate certain parts of the brain responsible for basic physical action; respiration, circulation, etc. I then used Mrs. Yuchtzky's designs to implant the key cybernetics to restore functions to damaged body parts, as well as create a neural interface so that the revived soldiers can understand and process orders." Her smirk shifted into an outright grin as she saw that Alex was obviously impressed. "Dead soldiers can now be rebuilt as cyborgs. They're tougher, stronger, and as loyal as robots, which require far more resources to construct. Implanted targeting systems increase accuracy, and programming ensures that they possess basic combat skills."  
Alexandra was silent.  
Yoshi was not.  
"Only basic combat skills?" He asked, cocking his head to one side.  
Yamiko's grin quickly vanished. "Yes. So? With internal impact armor in addition to typical body armor, and the enhanced strength, they'll need little else."  
"Mmm. So they have no defense against a particularly resourceful commando, or effective tactics? They possess no creativity or initiative. All they can do is follow orders and react."  
"And why would they need to do anything else?" Yamiko asked hotly. "War is a science just like any other. All they have to do-"  
"Igov disagrees," the sentient cyborg in the room said suddenly, cutting off Yamiko's defense. "War is art, not science. There are rules, but rules broken quickly if help ensure victory." His normal eye narrowed at Yoshi. "Professor Konta has point. But you have done all you can. This is still great leap forward."  
Alexandra nodded reluctantly. "I have to agree. I was skeptical, but if you really can produce these soldiers in any sort of considerable quantity, it would be a substantial benefit to our forces. A great leap forward indeed."  
Yoshi shrugged as he got up, startling several of the unnamed scientists with his dismissal of their superiors. "It's an interesting project, certainly. Probably more useful than the genetically enhanced soldiers I made."  
Alex blinked in surprise. Did Yoshi just humble himself?  
"However..." the diminutive scientist mumbled as he walked out, hands clasped behind his back, "the greater the leap forward, the more severe the damage if you fall." Then he grinned at a confused Yamiko. "Nonetheless, I welcome you to the scientific community of the Freedom's Angels, Doctor Nova. Enjoy your tenure here... it's likely to be a long one indeed."

Inmates slaughtered for cyborg parts: 18  
Giant pests exterminated: 3 (so far)  
Long, bizarre character backstories finally put to rest: 1

End Chapter 24


	25. Infection

Guardian

A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction

by Black Dragon

Ranma is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, and the T-virus was the property of Umbrella Corporation, but they got a little out of hand with the free samples. 

Guardian

Chapter 25

Infection

"... What's going on here?" Ranma groaned as he saw Tycho and Junko push a desk into place behind a barricade of office furniture.

Putting aside that Kyle was bare-chested and Junko was wearing nothing but a large T-shirt (he was becoming seriously desensitized to seeing her nearly naked by now), the scene looked like a battlefield. Spent shell casings were scattered around the feet of the police officers, there were charred blasts down the hall that looked to be from fragmentation grenades, and small bits of carapace and yellowish-green ichor were splattered all over the room.

"Bug attack. Before you ask, it's all Tiro's fault," Snake explained, snatching away the ammo crate. "C'mon people, you KNOW there's a second wave coming! Wattai, take the flamer! Commander, you take two! Chikiko, load up that shotgun and get back!"

Ranma winced and clutched his stomach again as his body protested. 'Aw, man... this really sucks. Not only do I have to fight giant mutant insects, but I have to do it when I'm sick!' He grimaced as he drew his Jackal and checked the ammunition. 'PLUS I've got a date with Mizu in an hour! What am I gonna do if we haven't secured the locker room by then? I'll have to go to dinner in my uniform!'

"It's another big one!" _Blam! Blam!_

"Aim for the head!" _BLAM!!_

"Which part is the head, exactly? These things don't look right..." _FWOOSH!_

Ranma stared as the insect writhed and sputtered on the ground, dark ichor bubbling from its cracked carapace as flames baked its insides.

"Hey, do you guys really need me for this?" He asked tiredly. Mutant bugs hardly seemed like a job for him, the super-invincible martial artist. At least, not until they reached human size.

Snake looked annoyed as he glanced back at the martial artist. "What? You got something else to do?"

"Well... kind of," Ranma hedged, looking away. "I'm just saying, between you and Kyle, do you need me around just to help you stomp some bugs?"

_Bzrt!_ "Dear God!" Tiro shouted in a panic, "That one's SPARKING! Why the hell is it sparking?"

Snake turned around and angled his shotgun over the desk they were using as cover, and then swiftly ended the mysterious creature's life in a violent burst of 12 gauge pellets. "Look, I know it's a pain, but you know I can't rely on these dorks for anything. Just stick around until we find the queen, all right?"

Kyle let loose with his flamethrower as another group of smaller roaches started pouring in from the women's locker room. "There's a queen cockroach? I didn't know that."

Sakura frowned. "I'm pretty sure roaches don't have 'queens'..."

Snake rolled his eyes. "Well, NORMAL roaches don't. But once something becomes part of a dangerous mutant swarm, a queen will always emerge. It's like a law of nature." _BLAM!!_ Another of the monstrous insects vanished in a burst of chitinous shards and acidic goo.

"The laws of nature don't ascribe to weird sci-fi cliches," Tycho groused as he looked around nervously. "This is real life, not some bizarre action story!"

"Says you." _BLAM!!_ "Hallway's clear." Snake kicked away a few empty shotgun shells and then started reloading.

Ranma growled and kicked the wall, wincing slightly as the sudden movement sent little tendrils of pain writhing up through his legs and into his stomach. "Do we know where this 'queen' is? I've seriously gotta go, here!"

Junko rolled her eyes. "Well, if you insist on treating this like your standard monster invasion flick, it'll be in the darkest, dankest nearby region behind entire swarms of enemies and probably a few traps."

"So where the hell is that? It has to be in this building, right?"

Seras blinked, and then frowned as he rubbed his chin. "The maintenance hall below the sub-decks."

The others turned toward him.

"It's perfect. That's where all the sewage purifiers are. And it has piping that leads directly into the ventilation shafts in case the building needs to vent dangerous gases. It has all the convenient and semi-plausible entrances to every level of this building, and is only assailable to us through a single hallway rife with dangerously under-maintained, rusty piping and fuel lines."

"This is ridiculous," Junko moaned, sliding down to her knees. "If the captain were here, she'd tell you this is ridiculous. Dammit, why'd she have to go home?!"

"As I understand it, that's more or less YOUR fault," Snake said bluntly before smashing the butt of his shotgun on an oversized roach leg that was still twitching toward him, "and whether or not this is ridiculous, even the most implausible venom will still kill you."

Ranma was swiftly getting impatient, and began speaking before Junko could come up with a retort. "Okay, whatever, we know where this new threat is, right? Let's finish it off and get out of here!" He hissed slightly as he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, and barely glanced at the cockroach that had bitten him before flicking it off. "I don't have time to... be..." blinking, he turned his head back around to the foaming wound on his shoulder. "Wait... where did that thing come from? Aren't all the roaches coming from the locker rooms?"

_Blam!_ Snake blasted the cockroach that had bitten Ranma with his sidearm, and then shrugged. "Well, for now, yes. But these things are in the foundation. They could show up anywhere."

Ranma frowned, and then glanced at the floor around him, looking for any holes where more of the chitinous abominations might emerge.

_Plop!_ Ranma blinked as he felt something small land on his head. It didn't take much imagination to figure out what it was, or where it had come from.

_Blam!_ That roach too was annihilated by .35 caliber handgun fire, though Ranma was a little more upset this time around.

"HEY!! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Ranma shouted, covering his head and ducking in a reflexive action that was almost a full second slower than usual - which generally made a considerable difference where bullets were concerned - before scrambling away along the floor.

"What? That thing was going to hurt you!" Snake said defensively, covering the pigtailed cop's retreat.

"I don't care! Do NOT shoot at my head!" Ranma shouted.

"Oh, fine, so I suppose I should just ask it politely to get off you next time?" the American shot back.

"You don't have to-"

_Crack! Crick!_ Their shouting match ended instantly as the sound of breaking wood and plaster came from above, and everyone fixed their gazes above the spot where Ranma had been standing. A small hole in the ceiling dripping caustic acid onto the floor left little doubt as to where the insects had ambushed Ranma from, though the noise was more unsettling than finding another attack route.

Tiro raised his shotgun, only to have Seras smack it back down.

"Don't fire into the ceiling, you idiot! You'll merely create another damn hole for them to spill out of!" The medical officer snapped. Frowning as Tiro lowered his weapon nervously, Seras leaned back against the barricade and took another long sip of beer.

Tycho twitched. "Hey... how come we're all fighting these things off and you're hiding behind us drinking?"

"Because if it were the other way around, we'd all die," Seras said in a tone that was far too smug for someone taking refuge in his own incompetence.

_Crack!_

The ceiling split once more and dozens if not hundreds of small, writhing cockroaches spilled from the acid-smeared hole onto the floor in a veritable tide of insects.

"Fire! Fire! FIRE NOW!!" Tiro screamed, scrambling backwards rapidly.

_BLAM!! BLAM!! FWOOOSH! Blam!_ Although he had really been requesting ACTUAL fire via the flamers Snake had thoughtfully procured, everyone with a weapon promptly started firing into the encroaching swarm save Sakura, who had been paralyzed at the revolting sight, and Ranma, who seemed paralyzed for different reasons.

Nonetheless, the tide of insects was demolished before the sudden onslaught, shredded apart by shotgun fire and burnt to cinders by roaring flame before they could launch any kind of attack.

Those not annihilated immediately rushed from the flames in blind panic, but didn't get very far before they were immolated or picked off by Snake's expert marksmanship.

"R-Ranma? Hey! A-Are you all right?" Sakura herself was feeling fairly woozy even as she asked this, so she certainly would have been the last to criticize that Ranma wasn't blasting or smashing roaches with the others, but the way he was slumped against the cabinet barricade they had set up while mumbling to himself was quite unusual.

Ranma looked up at the blonde woman, and immediately felt dizzy as Sakura's image split into two hazy visions and floated around him. "Uwah... huh?"

Sakura frowned, and she stopped trembling as the din of gunfire and the unnatural screeching of monstrous insects was pushed to the back of her mind. "Ranma, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I..." Ranma coughed suddenly, and Sakura was relieved to see that no blood came from his mouth. "I'm all right... just... got a little dizzy..." Grabbing onto the barricade, Ranma slowly pulled himself to his feet, wobbling only a bit as he forced his mind to focus.

"Ranma, you're not all right!" Sakura protested, taking his arm. "Hold on, we'll get you someplace safe!"

"Like where?" Junko asked, sidling over closer to the pair while holding a shotgun at the ready. She couldn't actually use the weapon very well, as the kick was far too powerful and tired her out easily, but it was still the best weapon possible to compensate for her lousy aim and the size of the targets. She had also found a pair of pants somewhere, but that hardly seemed very important, given everything else that was happening. "The way to the entrance is blocked! And there's no place safe in the HQ!"

"I... I'll be fine," Ranma grunted, trying to gently take his arm from Sakura. He felt bile rise in his throat, but fought it back down. He wasn't going to get sick! Not now, not today!

"Please, just sit down!" The blonde insisted over the din of another volley of gunfire. "They can take care of this! You don't look well!" Seeing that Ranma seemed dazed and had started mumbling to himself again, she gently put a hand to his cheek to turn him toward her.

She immediately drew her hand back, surprised. "Ranma, you're burning up!" It was true, although his skin looked rather pale.

"Gwah?" He focused on Sakura for a moment, and then shook his head furiously as his vision began to swim. "I... I can still fight... don't worry... I..."

"No way are you fighting in your condition!" The blonde insisted firmly, gripping his arm tightly in an uncharacteristic display of will. "We need to get you out of here and to a hospital!" She quickly tugged off the jacket he was wearing, noting that it had blood and bits of roach on it.

As Ranma protested weakly, Junko raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious? The path in front of us is barricaded with roaches coming out of the walls, and the path behind is raining bugs... and on fire, to boot. How are you going to get through?"

Sakura tossed the jacket aside and started moving, tugging Ranma along with her to go around the barricade. "You can cover us! ... Or something. I don't know, but please, we need to get him somewhere safe!"

"Oh, for pity's sake..." Junko mumbled, rubbing her head. Then she turned around. "Hey! Snake! We girls need to evac! Can you clear us a path?"

_BLAM!! BLAM!!_ "Evac? NOW? Why?" The American stomped on a bug that had managed to escape the flames, and then started slipping more shells into his shotgun.

Junko planted her fists on her hips. "Sakura has an appointment for a manicure! And I have to do my hair! I think getting attacked by killer insects is giving me split ends, here!"

Tiro and Seras sweatdropped as a vein popped up on Snake's head.

"Is that so? Split ends, you say?" _Ch-chak!_ "We're being overwhelmed with hordes of acid-spitting mutant roaches, and you want to leave for an emergency shampoo?"

Junko nodded, seemingly oblivious to the thin red aura that was surrounding the lieutenant. "Yes. Oh, and we're taking Ranma with us. It's not safe for two lovely young women to be walking around alone in the big city, you know?"

Tiro's eyebrow twitched. "But... you're both police officers..."

"Well, sure. So we'll make sure to arrest any muggers or rapists that Ranma beats up, but we still need him along."

Tiro was about to launch another protest involving the fact that both Sakura and Junko were visibly armed, when Snake slipped a small cylinder out of his pocket and pushed the button.

_BWA-KOOM!!_ The girls instantly ducked for cover as the barricade blocking the locker room doors exploded, turning the filing cabinets and chairs into so many shards of hot, melting shrapnel as the numerous roaches slowly digging their way through the obstruction were vaporized.

Slipping the detonator back in his pocket, Snake spoke with almost perfectly concealed contempt. "Well, you'd better hurry. Wouldn't want to be late for your appointment. We'll just be back here fighting for our lives against a mutant swarm that may yet consume all of Japan if you need us." _BLAM!!_

Junko smiled. "'Kay! Thanks! See you guys later!" She said happily, before grabbing a nearly-unconscious Ranma's arm and dragging him away toward the scorched crater in the hall. Sakura, bewildered as she was by the exchange, quickly grabbed Ranma's other arm and helped take the martial artist down the hall. 

"What was THAT about?" Sakura asked as the two policewomen dragged Ranma through the smoldering remains of the barricade. "I think Snake's angry at us now..."

"Oh, big deal. Snake's always been good at focusing his constant, needless rage toward legitimate targets," Junko reasoned, shrugging.

"But why did you make up that story about us having 'girl stuff' to do? Couldn't we just tell Snake that Ranma was sick?" Sakura asked, kicking open the door to the front lobby before continuing to pull Ranma toward the exit.

"Sakura, baby, Snake isn't considerate enough to let Ranma know when he's about to blow up a building that Ranma is IN. Do you think he's going to care that Ranma has a fever?"

"Oh... I suppose you're right," the blonde murmured uncomfortably. "But... still, how did you know he'd let us go with that story?"

Junko smiled as she pushed through the front doors of the headquarters, allowing the two women to drag Ranma outside. "When Snake gets angry at somebody, his first, and usually only, impulse is to remove them from his presence. When he can get away with it, he does this with violence. If he can't he'll concede to ANYTHING in order to get them to leave."

Sakura winced. Not so much because of what Junko was saying about Snake, but rather because Hunter was on the steps to the headquarters entrance, his beak buried in a four-foot cockroach's thorax as he scarfed up its insides. "Wow... you know him that well?"

Junko grinned in a way that immediately made Sakura think of the redhead's psychotic alter-ego. "Hon, I know things about the men in this outfit that their own MOTHERS don't know. We'll have to sit down one night and have a nice long chat about our boys in blue. It'll be VERY interesting." She winked at the blonde woman, who felt a slight chill down her back.

'She may not be a knife-wielding lunatic, but Junko is a bit creepy in her own way,' Sakura thought. She turned to regard Hunter who was spitting up green slime and bits of roach legs that he apparently found less than appetizing. "Good boy, Hunter! You kill all those nasty roaches, okay?"

"SSSSSSHREEEEEEAAAH!!" The zergling pounded one claw into the shattered carcass he had been feeding on, then stalked up the stairs toward the HQ building, his tail whipping about behind him.

"Okay... so now we're out," Junko began, scratching her head, "should we take him to a hospital? Or-"

Before Sakura could answer, Ranma suddenly lurched forward, shaking as he grabbed onto Sakura's leg.

"Meep!" The blonde was startled at first, but quickly knelt down to cradle the martial artist's head in her hands. "His breathing is erratic! That's not normal for a fever!"

"Well, this is Ranma we're talking about," Junko reasoned, "any virus that could bring HIM down would have to be more than normal."

"Ghnng!" Ranma gasped as his chest contracted, and he huffed vigorously as his heart started racing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ranma! Ranma, are you okay?"

The martial artist grunted as he lifted his head slowly, his eyes squeezed shut tightly.

His entire body felt hot, like he was on the verge of being immolated. His head was pounding like a jackhammer. In general, his entire body felt like it was about to crumble, like the time he had fought Ryoga and been plastered with five perfect shi shi hokodans.

"What... What's going on? Why do I feel so-" and then he opened his eyes.

And then he blinked.

He blinked again.

"Ghg!" He made a slight squeaking noise in the back of his throat, possibly due to the rising bile he was trying to keep down.

Sakura stared down at him, her concern somehow evident despite the huge gashes across her face that had peeled the whole outer layer of flesh from her head. A single, damaged eye dangled from its socket by a single frayed nerve, while her other socket stared down at him completely hollow. Dried blood and gore matted her torn, dirty hair to her shoulders.

Gulping heavily, Ranma slowly looked down her body. Sakura's torso was still encased in proper body armor, and despite being splattered liberally with blood, seemed to have protected the whole of her upper body. Her arms did not get off so easily, and Ranma could see chunks of flesh that had been ripped off of her all the way to the bone.

"Wha... Wha... Wha..." The pigtailed man could proudly say that he had faced true, flesh-eating zombies in combat and taken them down bare-handed, but seeing a close friend in such a state had paralyzed him in a way that the pure horror of the living dead could never manage on its own.

There was also the uncomfortable fact that this particular zombie was cradling his head in her lap. In addition to being an extremely disadvantageous position from a tactical standpoint, it was also more than a little confusing.

"Junko, do you have a cell phone? Call an ambulance, quick!" The Sakura-zombie said, flecks of bloody spittle oozing from her lips and a few holes in her neck as she spoke.

'Okay... Okay... just calm down... this is not real... this is SO not real...' Ranma chanted mentally as the Sakura-zombie stared down at him again. 'I mean, zombies can't even talk, right? ... Right? I mean... well... crap, CAN they talk? I've always killed them on sight! Maybe they can!'

"Yes! We need an ambulance to that address right away! We're not sure what's wrong, but it doesn't seem like he's in critical condition... high fever, spasming, erratic breathing..."

Ranma turned his head slowly and choked down another scream as he beheld a grotesque, demonic creature that bore an extremely sketchy resemblance to the DAPC's redheaded bombshell. It was tall and spindly, with thin, lithe arms and needle-sharp teeth. Its skin was dry and leathery, with hundreds of scars all over it, and thick, spike-like hairs poking out at random points. A long whip of dark red hair grew from its scalp and coiled on the ground, a scythe-like blade at the end. It was something that Ranma imagined had come right out of a horror film, and was far more disturbing and terrifying than any of the mutant breeds he had fought in the past.

It was also talking on a cell phone, which Ranma was confident was not monster-like behavior. Added to the fact that it sounded an awful lot like Junko and not at all like a snarling demon, he felt reasonably assured that he was not, in fact, surrounded by monsters and was merely going insane.

'Aw, dammit! What's going on?' He groaned as the zombie cradling him gently lowered him to the ground, saying something about roaches escaping into the streets.

Ranma's eyes started roaming the streets, and he whimpered slightly. Everything around him was a hellscape. Cars gutted and burning. Walls streaked with blood. Rats and decrepit, mangy dogs scurried about, picking at bloated, maggot-infested corpses.

'This isn't real... what's going on? What's WRONG with me?!'

"-ma? Ra... ear me?"

Ranma squinted as the zombie above him appeared to be snapping its jaw angrily, but in the back of his mind he could make out Sakura's voice... which was somewhat troubling, as he'd had no problem hearing her at all before.

"...kay. You'll... ay, right? St... ple... anma!"

Ranma really did feel like he should be saying something in response to the monstrosity above him, but his stomach was fighting him desperately to relieve its contents to the point that he feared he might spit up something important if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

"... coming soon... help... what?"

Ranma heard the red-haired monster speak, but it was getting harder to focus...

His last fleeting thought before darkness took him was an image of Mizu, her face sullen as she looked down on him in concern.

'Dammit... now I'm gonna be late... ugh...'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And how long has he had this temperature?" The paramedic asked Sakura as his assistant carefully checked Ranma's vitals.

"Not long. An hour, at most. When we were assaulting that pumping station, he didn't look sick at all," the blonde explained, wringing her hands. "He only lost consciousness five minutes ago."

"Sanaka! His pulse is getting weak! We need him on life support, ASAP!"

The man nodded grimly as he stepped up to the stretcher that was supporting the pigtailed man.

He stopped short as Junko took hold of his arm firmly.

"Here's the number to call when you get some information," she said, her expression determined as she placed a small index card with the DAPC's logo and contact information in the man's hand. Then she turned the card over in his palm. "Also... this probably isn't the best time, but that's my personal number on the back."

The paramedic raised an eyebrow as Junko leaned toward him.

"Just so you know, my turn-ons are weight lifting, a good sense of humor, and saving the lives of my closest friends."

The other eyebrow went up. "I'll... keep that in mind." Trying hard not to smile - he was at work, after all, and in a rather grim profession - the man quickly grabbed the other end of the stretcher and helped move his patient into the back of the ambulance.

Junko smiled brightly as the emergency vehicle sped off, and then sweatdropped once she turned around to see Sakura staring at her expressionlessly, her arms crossed under her breasts. It was a look that Asuka had seemingly perfected, and looked absurdly out of place on the bubbly blonde. "What?!"

"Junko," Sakura began in a perfect deadpan, "I know normally I don't have anything to say about your behavior, but there are times when you really have to just rein it in, okay?"

"It was supposed to be an incentive to make sure Ranma turns out okay!" the redhead complained.

Sakura kept her stare even.

"This is just sad," Junko mumbled as she lowered her head. "Getting scolded by Sakura."

The blonde nodded sharply. "As long as you understand."

"Hmph. I still don't think you'd be complaining if it were Tycho or Snake being carted off to-"

_BWAAKOOOM!!_

The two young women were knocked clean off their feet as the west wall of the first floor of DAPC headquarters burst open in a spray of flame, glass, and metal.

"GAH! Duck!" Sakura immediately scrambled for the wall and pressed herself against the concrete partition mounted on the side of the stairs.

Junko, having a slightly cooler head in general, recognized that they were in no immediate danger, and got back onto her feet. "What the hell do they think they're doing in there?! They'll rip the HQ to pieces!"

"N-None of the debris hit the ambulance, did it?" Sakura asked worriedly. "For that matter, maybe we should call it back? Someone might be injured..."

"The ambulance is fine. It doesn't look like the debris reached the street," Junko mumbled. "Anyway, we'd better get back inside... _Sigh_... I really was looking forward to washing my hair."

Sakura rolled her eyes as she got back to her feet, approaching the front door warily. "Snake? Kyle? Are you guys okay? Hunter?"

As Sakura pushed open the double-doors that she had so recently escaped through, a wall of thick smoke promptly wafted into her face, prompting her to back off immediately while coughing harshly.

"_Hack! Cough! Blaugh!_ How the heck _Hack!_ does Snake stand all this smoke that his _Hack!_ stupid bombs kick up?" the blonde asked as she tried to wave away the dusty cloud.

"I suspect he can breathe it like normal air," Junko said sarcastically. "That freak was born for war."

After a few moments the smoke had thinned to the point where Sakura felt that she could get inside without suffocating as long as she stayed low. "Come on, there are gas masks in the lobby emergency cabinet," she said, crouching low before slowly creeping inside.

Junko frowned deeply as she made to follow. "Uhn... I have a bad feeling..."

"Is that supposed to be women's intuition, or does it have anything to do with Snake gradually blowing this building to cinders?" Sakura asked seriously.

"Mm. Point taken," Junko mumbled.

Both women stopped at the entrance, noting that there were several fires on the ground in the main lobby - many of them from the earlier bomb that had allowed for their escape - and a great deal more rubble than they saw on their way out.

"Hunter!" Sakura called suddenly, putting a hand over her mouth to keep as much smoke out of her lungs as possible. "Hunter! Are you here?"

At her call, a muffled hissing noise came from beneath a pile of debris next to the entrance.

"Hunter? Hold on boy! I'll get you out!" Sakura said in concern as she swiftly moved over to the wall of rubble that used to be Asuka's office.

Junko winced as she realized where most of that debris had come from. "Huh... I wonder, would Snake get the blame for blowing up the building, or Tiro for causing this whole mess? Or maybe Seras, for not giving Tiro instructions earlier?" She frowned. "Well, heck. Seems like there's enough blame to go around. I think we'll all catch hell for this one."

"Junko! Would you stop talking to yourself and help me? Oof! This stuff is heavy!"

The redhead groaned as she watched Sakura struggle with a bent length of steel. "Girl, your brother is a freaking superhuman. Let's find him and make HIM dig through the burning piles of rock and metal."

Sakura turned away to face Junko as she pried the metal loose, lifting a rather large chunk of concrete up a bit. "We can't! Hunter might be injured! And if Kyle's busy figh-"

"LOOK OUT!!" Junko screamed, her eyes going wide as she grabbed Sakura's arm and yanked her backward.

"Gwah?" Sakura tumbled over onto Junko helplessly, nearly missing the sound of snapping teeth behind her as the pair landed in a heap on the floor.

She quickly rolled off of Junko and whipped her head back around, her own eyes bulging as she saw one of the jagged-toothed worm creatures that they occasionally found slithering about. The creature was snapping frantically toward the two policewomen, its body darting forward before being yanked back.

"I... I think it's okay," Junko said nervously, deeply regretting that she'd dropped her weapon when she'd helped carry Ranma. "It's obviously pinned or something. We can just-"

A high-pitched snarl came from beneath the rocks, and the worm squealed as it was suddenly yanked back into the crevice from which it came.

"Sreeeee-hk!" _Crunch! Snap!_

The girls winced, and then slowly got up.

Sakura moved toward the rubble again, though she had the sense to approach more cautiously this time. "Hunter! Can you get out of there on your own? Hunter?"

"Srrrrrreeh!" There was a grinding noise as the debris shifted, and an armored head pushed its way through the rubble.

The blood drained from Sakura's face as a pair of blood-soaked pincer mandibles very unlike Hunter's armored beak hissed at her from the widening crevice. The rubble rose slightly, and a long, hairy leg poked up into the air before swiping a pair of thick, curved talons at the foolish blonde.

Luckily, Sakura hadn't moved so close that she was within grappling distance, but it didn't speak well of her that she remained completely frozen in place as the gigantic cockroach continued swiping at her.

Junko grabbed Sakura around the waist and promptly dragged her along into the lobby as fast as she could move while crouched. "As long as we're getting on each others' cases for inappropriate character traits," she deadpanned, "you could really stand to lose this 'damsel in distress' syndrome where you turn completely helpless every time we're in a dangerous situation. 'Cause, you know, we get in an awful lot of dangerous situations, and one of these days nobody'll be around to bail you out."

Sakura sniffled as she allowed the redhead to drag her away. "Ranma's been gone for five minutes, and I already miss him so much..."

"Yeah, well, luckily we have no shortage of muscle-brained men to kill things for us..." Junko gulped as the massive cockroach pulled its abdomen out of the rubble and shook itself free completely. It was almost four feet long with a carapace that looked thick enough to shrug off bullets. Horns jutted out of its wing case, leaving deep cracks that oozed thick ichor, and each of its legs sported a pair of viciously barbed, exaggerated talons. "So let's hurry up and find them! Like, NOW!"

The roach trembled briefly as it stood over the floor, its antennae whipping about randomly. Then it turned and hissed at the retreating women, as if upset that they didn't wait for it.

"Snake! Snake?" Junko passed by the point where the other police officers had been fighting off the roach swarm, and her heart sank as she saw nothing there but hundreds of bullet casings and a few discarded weapons. On the other hand, there were no body parts or streaks of blood to be found among the bits of crushed and splattered insect scattered everywhere, so it was far too early to assume the worst. "Kyle? Are you here? ANYONE?"

"Junko! The explosion came from over there!" Sakura cried out, pointing toward a ring of flames and more rubble that used to lead to the garage.

"Okay... so what? There's no way to get over there, and I really don't know why you'd want to be tromping around in a blast crater," Junko reasoned. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that the giant roach was slowly creeping toward them. "Crap! Weapons! We need guns!"

The redhead immediately started picking up the various guns on the floor, checking each one for ammunition before tossing the empty weapons aside. "This is no good! These are all empty!"

"Uhm... well..." Sakura chewed on her lip as she stared at the redhead anxiously, although strangely enough, it seemed she wasn't panicking like Junko. "We always have... you know... the 'last resort,' right?"

Junko stared at the other woman blankly. "Last resort? What last res-" the sentence died in her throat as she figured out what Sakura was talking about; between the two of them, only the redhead had any kind of useful combat skills... or rather, she possessed a mental disorder with useful combat skills. "Wait. Waitwaitwait. Are you serious?"

Sakura nodded, managing to look timid and determined at the same time. "It's... It's either that or getting eaten by that thing, right? I don't really like Akina much, but this is her thing, isn't it?"

Junko whimpered as the cockroach crawled ever closer. At this rate, it would reach them in about half a minute... they could always try running, but it was entirely likely they'd just run into more of the monstrosities, and it WOULD be handy if one of them was an unstoppable killing machine. "Okay, fine..." she picked up a discarded shotgun and shoved it Sakura's arms. Then she took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

Sakura took a deep breath as well, and then raised the weapon up in the air, holding it by the barrel. "I'm sorry!" _Thonk!_

"OW!! Dammit!" Junko cursed and promptly clamped her hands over the spot where she had been struck.

"Akina?"

"NO, it's not Akina! You have to hit me harder than that!"

"What? I don't want to hurt you too badly... how hard does it need to be?"

"I don't know! Your plan sucks!"

"Fssssssssss!"

A high-pitched hiss reminded them of the current threat, and both women flinched as the gigantic roach suddenly darted toward them, more than tripling its previous speed as it made the final sprint toward its prey.

"AH! It's coming!"

_Thwud!_ The cockroach flinched back as the ground suddenly lurched upward briefly, nearly knocking the two policewomen off their feet.

"What was THAT?" Junko asked in alarm. Though she was glad that the giant insect was also disturbed enough to stop, she couldn't imagine that whatever was ripping through the floor was friendly.

Luckily, Sakura could. "Hunter! It's lunch time! COME GET IT!!"

_Thump! Crack!_ The floor began to split apart under their feet, and bits of tile bounced around as a fissure slowly opened between the mutant insect and its prey.

The roach, in its fevered bloodlust, ignored the warning signs of approaching danger and plowed forward. Large, scythe-like mandibles opened up underneath the armor plate over its head, and bits of green slime splattered on the shattered floor as it lunged.

_Crack!_ At the last possible moment, the floor opened up underneath the insect's abdomen, and the vile beast was lifted up and knocked on its back as a pair of clawed arms and an armored beak ripped up through the tiles.

"Hunter! Good boy!" Sakura cried in relief.

"Get it! Get the nasty bug! Kill it dead!" Junko shouted encouragement from the sidelines, though she had taken the shotgun back and was now holding it like a baseball bat in case she needed to fend off the roach herself.

Hunter climbed the rest of the way out of the new hole in the floor, and then briefly shook the debris off his body.

The roach didn't seem terribly distressed by its helpless position on its back, and rocked back and forth slightly as its abdomen bulged.

_SPLORT!_ Thick green slime burst out of the insect's body like a shotgun blast, hitting Hunter head-on as the roach itself used the recoil to roll back onto its belly.

"SHREEEEEEEAAAH!!" The zergling screamed angrily as he shook his body, acrid smoke wafting up as the venomous fluids ate at his armor. Acid was flung everywhere from his attempt to clean himself, and a few seconds later a ceiling lamp clattered to the floor as the acid rapidly dissolved the metal.

The cockroach, not having its survival instincts in order, decided it would be a good idea to attack the enraged alien rather than escaping. Darting forward, it hooked its front legs around the zergling's neck before biting onto Hunter's throat, taking full advantage of the alien's temporary blindness.

Hunter snarled in protest, and then slammed his head down onto the roach's back, cracking open the insect's carapace and dislodging its mandibles.

The cockroach started clawing at Hunter viciously, its talons digging shallow gouges into his armor, but as the alien beast pinned down the writhing appendages with his front claws, it was clear the struggle was over; no matter how freakishly mutated the insect had become, it couldn't match Hunter's purpose-bred strength and resilience.

_Crunch!_ Hunter's beak dug deep between the two malformed plates that protected the roach's head and thorax, and then snapped the head off the rest of the body with a sharp twist as dark ichor sprayed out of the insect's neck like a punctured high-pressure hose. The body twitched and trembled as the life drained out of it, the legs somehow managing to support the roach's weight until it collapsed a good three seconds following the loss of its head.

The head was even more gruesome in its death throes, and continued snapping and snarling uselessly as fluids dribbled out of the back.

As the girls watching fought down their gag reflex, Hunter snapped his head up and open his jaws, tossing the roach head into the air before chomping down on it again on the way down. 

Junko turned away from the crunching and snapping behind her, really wishing that she had joined Ranma on the ambulance. "So... uh... yeah... what now?"

Sakura blinked in surprise at being questioned, quite unused to being the one responsible for making decisions. "Well, we should find the others, right?"

"And where do we go to do that?" Junko asked, gesturing to the wall of burning rubble that blocked any progress further into the building, up or down. "This place is wrecked. Judging by our conversation earlier, everyone went downstairs into the deepest, darkest, most well-fortified and dangerous parts of headquarters. How are we going to find them?"

Sakura sweatdropped. Since when was she in charge?

She was distracted briefly from the current problem when Hunter trotted up and started nudging his beak against Sakura's leg, inadvertently smearing some of the infected ichor against her thigh.

"Augh! No! Back!" Sakura shouted, hopping away and wiping off her leg with her hand. "Eww! Hunter! Bad boy! You got roach guts on... on..." she trailed off and frowned.

Then the blonde suddenly brightened. "I know! You can dig through that debris, can't you Hunter?"

The zergling looked up at her, and tilted his head to the side slightly.

Junko nodded hesitantly. "Well, it's a start. Hunter can burrow through the rubble and then we can find the others."

The killer alien snorted and backed up a few steps. Then he ducked his head low and stabbed both his claws into the floor, ripping through the tile surface and the concrete foundation underneath with ease.

Junko winced badly. "So... what exactly are we going to tell the captain when she sees this?"

Sakura blinked, and was momentarily distracted from asking Hunter why he was burrowing into the ground instead of digging through the debris behind them. "Well... she won't be back in a while, right?"

"Right. So... we're going to fix all THIS in 'a while'?"

Sakura chuckled nervously as she glanced around at all the damage. "Well, sure, it LOOKS bad, but I'll bet with a little spackle and some paint-"

_CRACK!_

Both women blinked as the floor under them shifted, and they watched as Hunter's tail vanished into a considerable hole carved into the foundation.

_Crumble! Crack!_ The hole was also getting bigger, and several of the fissures surrounding it were joining with fissures from the FIRST hole that Hunter had made upon coming to the girls' rescue.

"Yeah... spackle ain't gonna cut it this time," Junko drawled.

"Ohhh..." Sakura hung her head in resignation as the floor continued to shake slightly. "Yeah, this is... wait... is it just me, or is the floor shaking?"

_CRACK!_ The girls stumbled forward as the ground under their feet dropped sharply a few inches.

"On the other hand, I guess it's pretty unlikely that we're going to live long enough to get chewed out," Junko deadpanned, her body trembling as the last of the foundation's strength gave way.

_Crash! Thunk! Wham!_ Sakura grabbed onto Junko instinctively as the floor crumbled beneath them, spilling them down into the sub-levels.

"Owwww... BAD Hunter..." Sakura mumbled before coughing up the dust that had been kicked up from the collapse.

Realizing that she was still clutching Junko firmly, the blonde loosened her grip slightly to check for injuries. "Junko? Are you Akina now?"

"Ugh... no... my head is about the only thing that DOESN'T hurt right now..." The redhead said painfully as she waved a hand in front of her face to clear the dust before she started coughing as well.

Sakura slowly got to her feet, moving slowly so as to better keep her balance on the fallen rubble. It was fairly dark wherever they had fallen, but there was a pale gloom that wafted through the settling dust cloud, indicating that there was some sort of low-energy lighting wherever they had ended up. "On the plus side, I guess we've made it into the sub-levels. Now all we have to do is find the guys."

"Well, I guess you can cross that off your quest objectives," Snake said sarcastically, obviously annoyed.

Sakura blinked as the dust settled enough for her to see, and was pleasantly surprised to see that the entire company of police officers that she and Junko had abandoned previously was standing just a few feet away from where the floor - now the ceiling - had collapsed. Hunter sat on his haunches in front of them, lazily wiping cockroach ichor off of his beak.

"I take it there was a line at the manicurist?" Tiro drawled.

Sakura sweatdropped. "Uh, yeah. Something like that. Anyway, we're back to help out now!"

"Swell," Snake said, keeping his sarcastic tone. "And while I VERY much appreciate you two calling Hunter up through the flipping ceiling and nearly burying us in your efforts to find us, I don't really think Saotome's skill in kicking things really hard is going to make up for the extra problems we're going to have in keeping you two alive down here."

"Well, then I have more bad news," Junko said shamelessly. "Ranma was feeling bad, so we had an ambulance ship him off before we came back."

"WHAT?!" Tycho shouted in disbelief. "Are you serious? What was wrong with him?"

"I can't say for sure, but he had a severe fever and lapsed into unconsciousness before the paramedics arrived." Sakura explained.

"Wait... what was that?"

The blonde woman turned to see Seras slowly pushing himself up against the far wall, a bottle in his hand per the norm. "He had a fever. It seemed pretty serious."

"Yeah, I noticed too," Tiro said as he helped Junko down from the pile of debris. "So it got worse?"

"WAIT. Stop talking," Seras commanded, standing up unsteadily and rubbing his head. "Was... Was he wounded anywhere?"

Junko blinked. "Wounded? No..."

"Well, there was that little cockroach bite, but that's all," Sakura amended.

"C-Cockroach... bite..." Seras winced, then slid back down onto his rear. "Oh no..."

"What's the matter? Is Saotome gonna be all right?" Kyle asked worriedly.

Seras sighed and took a quick swig of liquor. "Well... this is tough to come out and say, but-"

A sudden, high-pitched musical number composed of mechanical-sounding beeps caused all the officers save Junko to jump to attention, startled.

"Is that somebody's cell phone? Dammit people, what have I told you? When we're shooting things or watching a movie, put it on vibrate!" Snake groused.

Junko rolled her eyes as she flipped the phone open. "Calm down. I think it's the hospital guy." She pressed a button and pressed the phone to her ear. "Since Doctor Jack Daniels here seems so concerned about Ranma's health all of a sudden, we can get a status report right away. Hello?"

_M-Miss Chikiko? Is... Is this-_

"Yes. Speaking," the redhead hurried, holding the phone away from her ear and pushing up the volume so that everyone could hear the man on the other end. "Is this about Saotome's condition?"

_Ah. Right. His... condition. Well, it's kind of hard to say... he's not actually here, right now..._

Junko blinked as Seras shook his head. "What? He was out cold when you left. Where'd he go?"

_We're not... we're not TOTALLY sure... you see... well... you're not going to believe this..._

"Here it comes," Seras mumbled, tilting up his liquor bottle as he guzzled down the remnants.

_You see, just five minutes ago, he... he suddenly jumped up, shouted something about having to get ready for his date, tore himself free from the stretcher, and then leapt out the back of ambulance into rush-hour traffic!_

_Pshtoo!_ A thick spray of booze blasted from Seras' mouth, and he started coughing.

"WHAT?! A date?! With who?!" Sakura suddenly demanded, grabbing the phone away.

"Are you saying that **Saotome** ditched us too?" Tycho complained as the paramedic started stuttering excuses over the phone.

"Not only that, but he didn't even come back with the women," Tiro groused before turning toward Snake. "Can you believe that guy? What's wrong with him?"

To the lecher's surprise, the Texan didn't immediately respond, instead staring silently as Sakura grilled the paramedic calling them.

"Well, then turn around and find him! He's your responsibility, isn't he? What if he gets injured running around when-" the blonde yelped as the phone was suddenly snatched from her hand.

Snake toggled down the volume a bit and then held the phone to his ear. "Yo, you still there? Thanks for taking care of our guy. No, don't worry about it. He's a tough one, he'll be fine. Yeah. Take it easy. Bye."

"Snake! What do you thin-" Sakura yelped and jumped back as the American casually tossed the cellular phone down next to her feet, and then drew his pistol.

_Blam!_ Bits of plastic and micro-circuitry bounced across the concrete floor as the other officers flinched back.

"S-Snake?" Tiro asked, surprised.

"Let's hurry up and get this roach thing taken care of," the lieutenant said casually as re-holstered his sidearm.

"Huh? What about Saotome?" Tycho asked. Behind him, Seras was mumbling to himself and shaking his head.

"What ABOUT Saotome?" Snake asked, raising an eyebrow. "The man has things to do. Whatever his story is, I'm sure he has his reasons. Like the Captain, he's earned an evening off." He stared down at Tiro, bouncing his shotgun on his shoulder. "Don't you agree?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Junko piped up, "but did you have to destroy my cell phone to make that point?"

"Yes. Now move it!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sir... while your patronage is deeply appreciated by myself and my superiors..." the sales clerk said nervously as he tugged on his collar, "I really think that... well, given your condition, I would be happy to sacrifice this particular sale for the sake of your health."

"... Hahhh... hahhh... listen," Ranma said, his voice coming out roughly as if his speaking was strained, "I escaped from an ambulance, was run over by a motorcycle, and sprinted nine blocks to get here before you guys close..." He took a few more gulps of air, some color returning to his face as he relaxed slightly. "Now... sell me a damn suit, or I'll just stuff the money down your throat and take one."

The clerk gulped as the pigtailed man glowered at him. The martial artist was currently wearing a black T-shirt covered in rips and bloodstains and a pair of nylon pants caked with dirt and splatters of roach innards. He was breathing heavily, and although he sported no apparent wounds, he had entered the store hobbling badly.

He also had a rather large pistol at his hip and a pair of knives strapped to his calves, which was extremely unusual even for the police in Tokyo. "Well... since you... insist. What kind of outfit were you looking for?"

Ranma panted for a moment as he thought it over. 'Well, at least the stomach cramps are going away. I actually feel like I could eat something without spitting it up.' "Formal. Well... sort of. Not like a tux or anything, but... nice."

"Yes, sir. Right this way, sir," the clerk said anxiously, leading the police officer to the back of the establishment as the other employees and patrons gave them a wide berth.

"Not too dressy, actually," Ranma hedged as they approached a selection of crisp sports jackets, "it's a first date thing, and we know each other pretty well. It's not too good to be that formal, right?"

The sales clerk sweatdropped. "A... first date... uh..." he scratched the back of his head as he looked over the man. "Will you... Will you be needing something to obscure your... uh... 'accessories'?"

Ranma blinked, and then looked down at the formidable pistol at his hip. "Oh. Nah. She's cool with guns. I'm just worried that I'm going to come off looking too serious about this, and I don't want things to get weird."

"I... I hardly think that I'm qualified to judge something like that..."

The pigtailed cop considered this. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Well, sure..."

"Have you ever seen her kill a man? With a knife?" Ranma asked seriously.

The clerk twitched. "Ah... no. Not personally."

"Hm. Well, then I guess I'll just take the jacket and this shirt here. And some pants that match."

"Ah. Yes. V-Very good, sir."

"Can you ring 'em up right here, so I can wear 'em out?"

"Of course, sir." The clerk tugged on his collar for a moment. "Ah... and as for your weapons, sir? The blades?"

"Oh! Those." Ranma scratched his head. "I don't suppose you have something classy to sheathe them in..."

"No, we don't," the man deadpanned, "however, if I may be so bold, if you were to wear a heavier coat, I suppose you could keep the weapons inside, under the sleeves."

"Hey, yeah, that would work. Wolf gets away with that all the time," Ranma reasoned. "I'll need to get it in a dark color though, in case I get blood on it."

The sales clerk winced. "You ARE an actual police officer, right? I'm not selling to some sort of street hoodlum? Or an American?"

"Yes, I am," Ranma said, rolling his eyes. "Though I **should** tell Snake about this place; you've been pretty helpful."

"Thank you. We have dark blue and black. Corduroy or polyester?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma irritably combed his fingers through his hair to try and relieve it of dust before Mizu arrived.

"Man, what a day... I wish I'd regained consciousness earlier, so that I could have taken a quick bath first." While his fever had vanished and he seemed to be feeling much better in general, he hadn't had much time to tidy up before his big date.

'I was getting kind of worried there; I guess that T-virus gunk wasn't all that bad after all. Wonder what Mizu was freaking out over...'

"Ranma, there you are!"

The pigtailed man whirled around and then waved as his date as she approached through the crowd.

Mizu looked fairly radiant in a sleeveless black gown, and her hair had been curled slightly so that it looked like an elegant ebony waterfall down her shoulders.

"W-Wow... you look great!" He said honestly, scratching the back of his head.

Mizu smiled as she reached him, and took his arm. "You don't look so bad either..." she frowned slightly as she looked him over. "Well... you do look a bit dusty, for some reason..."

"Mutant cockroach swarm," Ranma explained hastily. "But hey, I made it this time!"

Mizu chuckled briefly as she led him into the restaurant, choosing not to dwell on how serious he was about being attacked by mutated insects. "Well, that's the... uh... important thing... I guess." She raised her eyebrow as she stared at Ranma's belt. "You brought your gun? Why?"

"It's for shooting things," Ranma deadpanned, rolling his eyes as they entered the restaurant.

Mizu pinched his cheek. "I know that, you dork. Are you planning on shooting anyone while we're out here?"

"Not really. I never plan on something going wrong during my dates, but something always does."

"And you have to shoot someone as a result?" Mizu asked dryly.

Ranma frowned as he thought over all the complete disasters during his teenage years that had been referred to as "dates". "No, but it sure would have helped."

Mizu rolled her eyes as she stepped up to the greeter. "Reservation for Kotetsu, please?"

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_Brakk! Brakk! Brakk!_

"Here they come!"

"Cheezus! They're even bigger than before!"

Snake ducked under a wad of thick green slime, ignoring the hissing noise of the metal wall behind him fizzling away. "Aim for the head, damn it! Their backs are too well armored! Sakura, make sure you keep Hunter back there, we don't want him running into the line of fire!"

"Y-Yes Lieutenant!" Sakura said nervously as she hugged the zergling around the neck to keep him from darting forward into the fray.

_Sqwrch!_ Kyle crushed a smaller roach underfoot before blasting a number of holes into a larger one further down the hallway. The creature sputtered angrily as hot ichor burst up through the cracks in its carapace, and a few green bubbles came from its mouth before it sunk to the floor dead.

"Are they gone? We all clear?" Tiro asked nervously as he reloaded the shotgun.

Snake frowned, remaining silent for a moment. Then he pulled out his sidearm and aimed toward the ceiling. _Blam! Blam! Blam!_

"Shreeeeee!" A painful screech was followed by a brief shower of carapace and dark fluids, and THEN followed by a mid-sized roach ("mid-sized" being only two feet long, in this case) falling down off the ceiling, its legs curling up over its belly.

"What the hell? Where was that thing hiding?" Tycho asked in alarm.

Without saying anything further, Snake stuck his toe under the edge of the deceased insect's body and then flipped it over.

The other officers winced. The entire top half of the roach was a dark gray; a perfect match for the ceiling in the sub-levels. The belly had been a dark brown, typical of all the other roaches they had encountered.

"Well, GREAT. That's just great. Now they have camouflage?"

Seras frowned as he shook his empty whiskey flask. "The longer we have to deal with these creatures, the more improbable their rate of mutation becomes. If we give them a week, they'll probably start talking and setting up a proper trade economy."

Snake nodded solemnly. "We can't allow shoddy insecticoid goods to flood our fragile human market. This must end here."

Junko carefully stepped around the numerous roach corpses and puddles of splattered ichor as she looked over the map of the sub-levels. "I don't know why we're finding more of these things as we head down here... this hall terminates at a dead end."

Snake poked his head around the corner. "Well, maybe the roaches have taken up construction and made their own tunnels."

"That's not funny," Tiro groused.

"I know it's not. The union is gonna be PISSED."

Kyle whistled as he walked up behind Snake. "Wow. That's kind of impressive. How thick are these walls?"

From the end of the alleged dead end was a wide, circular tunnel dripping with a thin green substance. A veritable carpet of white grubs writhed about on the floor of the tunnel, with the occasional roach scurrying about on top of them, seemingly oblivious to the nearby humans.

"Oh, gross!" Sakura said, still holding Hunter back as the alien snorted and snapped eagerly toward the tunnels.

"We're not actually going down there, are we?"

Snake started rummaging through his grenades. "Well, duh. I don't think the local exterminator can handle this." Pulling out an incendiary grenade, he yanked out the pin and threw it into the tunnel, bouncing it off one of the nursery roaches and squashing it before it settled on top of the swarm of pupae. 

_THWOOM!_ The officers covered their ears as a high-pitched squeal filled the sub-levels, rising above the crackle of flames that consumed the infantile swarm.

"I didn't know that larvae screamed when they died," Tycho remarked as he watched the flames spread over the tunnel surface.

"When you work in this field long enough, you learn all sorts of interesting things about how things die," Snake explained.

The flames began to thin out slightly around the initial blast area, but continued to spread further into tunnels, killing hundreds of bloated grubs as it crawled out the officers' sight.

_Srrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooh..._

The officers all blinked as a gentle trembling shook the walls and ceiling.

"What was THAT?" Tiro asked. "It sounded like... something screaming? Or moaning?"

"And it wasn't a grub," Seras remarked from the rear of the squad.

Snake stepped up to the edge of the tunnel and observed the shriveled, ashen remains of the larvae. Then he turned toward the others. "Sub-level four, bio-weapon storage, psionic holding pens, and poorly-maintained viral filtration engines. Women and smartass drunks, this is your stop. Gentlemen, if you would follow me."

"Oh, you're not serious," Tycho complained as the American stepped into the tunnels proper, the roasted roach larvae crunching underfoot. "Putting aside all the bugs that are probably in there, isn't the entire thing dripping with acid? We might not even make it to the end alive!"

Seras, eager to show his appreciation in not having to go with the other men, piped up immediately. "Unlikely. While it seems that acid was used to carve this tunnel, by now it would have exhausted its potency. It should be perfectly safe for humans. The most serious concern would be oxygen flow, but given that cockroaches depend upon air as well, it should be fine."

"Hm. We should probably ditch any more incendiary rounds, then," Snake mused. "Sakura, Junko, you keep Hunter here. Don't let ANYTHING get past you."

After having Sakura explain was "incendiary" meant, Kyle dropped the tanks attached to his flamer and picked up an autocannon.

"Shhhs!" Through the gray smoke wafting up from the tunnels, more of the acid-spitting roaches emerged, their antennae whipping about irritably as their thorax plates bulged with corrosive slime.

"Here's the next wave, people! Move out!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Whatever your friends are going through, I'm sure they can handle it," Mizu said reassuringly as she poured herself another glass of wine. "I know you always feel like you have to take responsibility for everything, but on occasion you need a break like everyone else."

"It's not that..." Ranma hedged. "It just seems really selfish to be out on a date while they're all fighting."

"And it was selfish of them to toss you into the terrorist-controlled facility by yourself to obtain a container of ultra-deadly retrovirus."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "It wasn't THAT deadly," he scoffed.

"Oh? Then what is?"

"Cats," Ranma answered immediately.

Mizu chuckled throatily as she sipped her wine, and then shook her head. "Whatever. Let's talk about something besides work."

Ranma frowned and gulped down some tea. "Uh... well, it's kind of the most interesting thing going on in my life."

"Then tell me about something less interesting," the raven-haired woman insisted. "Have you gotten in touch with your family yet?"

Ranma's face soured. "Why would I do that? The moment they know where I am, they'll just start unloading their problems onto me again."

"So what? Perfect strangers unload their problems onto you all the time nowadays."

He mulled that over for a moment. "Yeah... but I get paid for it."

"They probably know where you are, you know. You're rather infamous in Japan right now." Mizu said wryly, swishing the wine about in her glass under her nose.

"The only one of those twits bright enough to read a newspaper is Nabiki, and by now I'm sure she has more important things to do with her life besides playing detective for her family," Ranma said mercilessly. Long ago, it had worried him greatly that Nabiki might track him down with her knack for information and networking, but it occurred to him that she was probably more concerned with running her own life now that he wasn't a major influence – or pawn – in it.

Mizu sighed. "Oh, Ranma... how long do you really think you can live all alone like this? Are you happy?"

"Am I..." he began to repeat, and then stopped. WAS he happy? "I dunno. I guess."

"You guess?" Mizu pressed. "You don't have any major concerns? You don't have any big ambitions? You're perfectly fine being the unappreciated backbone of the most reviled enforcement agency in Japan, living all alone with a ravenous alien warbeast, and being cut off from your family, ex-fiancees, and everyone from your high school career with no closure whatsoever?"

Ranma was about to launch a weak, half-hearted protest when his stomach suddenly lurched painfully. "Ugh!"

Mizu didn't really see him do more than twitch, so she kept on speaking. "I mean, there are people in Nerima who you've known since you were six, and yet I'm your oldest friend now. And we've only known each other, what, two years?"

Ranma would have said something tactless about how he and Mizu hardly stayed in touch either - save when random coincidence saw fit to throw them into the same room - but was having serious difficulties with his stomach. 'What the hell is it now? I was feeling fine a moment ago! I thought I was done with this!'

"Ranma? Are you listening?" Mizu asked, frowning. Ranma seemed... distracted, though he appeared to be making some effort to hide it. "Is something wrong?"

'Damn! I can't go to the hospital! I'm going to get through this entire date even if it kills me!' He slowly raised his head and smiled uncertainly. "Yeah... I've just... uh, I've got to go to the bathroom." He flinched again, and got up unsteadily, trying not to hold his stomach and reveal that he was in pain. "'Scuse me!"

Mizu frowned as Ranma started walking to the bathroom, moving quite a bit faster than was strictly safe (though he was still moving at a rate that normal human beings could match). 'Hmm... it looks like something's wrong. I hope he's okay...'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ulghhn! Blech! Ugh..."

Ranma panted wearily and slumped his knees next to the garbage can he had just filled, his throat raw and his mouth filled with the repulsive taste of stomach acid.

'Well... this sucks. A lot. Though at least I've got an empty stomach for dinner, now.'

Groaning, he shakily got to his feet and looked around to make sure he wasn't experiencing the whole array of dizzying symptoms from before.

While he had meant to speed to the bathroom and take care of his protesting abdomen there, he hadn't known where it was, and instead dashed out the first exit he could find, ending up in the dark alley behind the restaurant, where the kitchen emptied its trash periodically through the night.

The area was deserted, which was nice since Ranma really didn't want people to see him hunched over puking his guts out like a common drunk. Or at least, in the few brief moments Ranma had spent glancing around in the dark before he leaned over the trash can, it had seemed to be the case...

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

Ranma shook his head lightly as he heard a voice from behind him, horribly embarrassed to be seen in such condition. Standing up straight, he ignored the fading pangs of irritation from his stomach and turned around to see who was addressing him.

A rather short, sleazy-looking man wearing sunglasses grinned at the martial artist, his hands in his pockets. "That looks like quite a mess, friend. This place must not be very good?"

Ranma twitched and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Oh, no, it's nothing like that! I actually haven't had my meal yet! I guess I'm still fighting off the fever from earlier..." In the back of his mind, he noted that he was getting a weak sense of danger from the man, but it was complicated by... something else. A strange, gnawing urge that he was unfamiliar with.

"Ah, then I guess we've been hitting the bottle a tad too roughly, eh?" The stranger smiled unpleasantly. "Feel free to share any more liquor you got on ya... along with whatever's left in your wallet, scumbag."

And then the man pulled a gun from his pocket, aiming right at Ranma's chest.

Ranma blinked, perplexed. Someone was mugging him? HIM? An armed cop? The superstar of the most dangerous and violent company of police officers in Tokyo, if not all of Japan? The man that had fought past squadrons of Russian soldiers and packs of armed, flesh-eating mutants?

Of course, the man holding the weapon had no idea who Ranma was, and thanks to the darkness and the trash cans partially obscuring Ranma's waist, he couldn't see that the pigtailed man was carrying a pistol big enough to put down an elephant. Even so, however, the irony of the situation was staggering.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Wallet! Now!" The man started to get impatient, and shook his weapon for emphasis.

Still a bit dazed by how surreal the situation was, Ranma looked at the weapon that he was being threatened with. It was a 9mm. pistol of some foreign make that Snake could no doubt identify in a heartbeat with a large, bulky silencer fixed on the barrel.

"Huh... looks real... silencer an' everything," Ranma mumbled, scratching his head again.

The thug was rather upset that his victim seemed more flabbergasted than frightened, but was happy to focus more attention on his gun. "It IS real, chump. Don't make me prove it. Paid a small fortune for this piece." Then he grinned. "Pays for itself though, I've gotta admit. Now you have until the count of three to give up your valuables, or I'll shoot you dead right here, and nobody'll know until they take out the trash in the evening. Is this getting through to you at all?"

Ranma shook his head to clear it. The strange urge was getting more insistent, and it was kind of interfering with his other senses.

Sighing, he stepped closer to the mugger, preparing to disarm the fool.

Of course, this then brought him close enough for the criminal to see that his "victim" in fact had a large gun holstered at his hip. Panicking, he fired.

_Pchnk!_

"Glk!" Ranma jerked back as the tiny lead projectile drilled into his chest, right over his heart; evidently the mugger was a decent shot.

The pigtailed man looked down at his chest as blood spurted from the wound. "..." He gaped at it silently, confounded. He had been shot? Why hadn't he dodged? By now the reflex was automatic, fine-tuned to the point that he could slip to the side of a gun discharge at point-blank range. Or so it was supposed to be.

Ranma looked up. "Ow!" he said, almost as if it were an afterthought. The annoying hunger in his mind was even stronger now, and it was really starting to get frustrating. "You shot me! You jerk!"

The mugger stared at the pigtailed man with wide eyes, unable to believe what he was seeing.

And then things got REALLY creepy.

Before the criminal's eyes, the bullet he had planted in his victim's chest was slowly pushed away from the ribcage it had failed to penetrate and out of the entry wound, falling to the blood-spattered ground below. The shredded flesh on the edge of the wound rapidly turned gray, the cells dying and crumbling, and then the bullet hole started to shrink rapidly, vanishing within seconds to leave pale, unblemished skin behind.

Ranma was quite a bit surprised by this development as well, and idly rubbed the fresh skin through the hole in his shirt. "Huh. That's kinda interesting."

The mugger agreed emphatically by firing again into Ranma's chest, repeatedly.

_Pchnk! Pchnk! Pchnk!_ "D-Die, you freak!"

"Ow! Ow! Quit it!" Ranma snarled, pushing forward and swatting the gun out of the criminal's hand.

Then, moving on instincts he didn't know he had, his hands darted into the folds of his coat, grabbing hold of the twin blades hidden there and drawing them before the mugger had even finished processing the loss of his only weapon.

_Shlurkt!_ The first blade drove deep into the mugger's stomach, and he felt pain blossom in his abdomen as blood and bile began to crawl up his throat.

_Shlunk!_ Then the second blade sliced up through his chin and sundered his brain case, and he didn't feel much at all.

Ranma stood shock-still for a moment before quickly withdrawing his weapons, stepping back to avoid a considerable spray of blood.

"I... I just killed that guy..." the pigtailed man mumbled as the corpse hit the ground with a wet Splat!

He blinked, and then raised his kodachi, still slick with warm, crimson fluid.

Oh, it wasn't as if he'd face any official penalty for killing this man. He was a police officer and he had been acting in self-defense. Heck, he had the bullet wounds to prove it.

_Clink! Clink!_

Ranma stared down at his chest, and then wiped a bit of drying blood off of the soft, fresh skin that was rapidly darkening and hardening to match the surrounding tissue. Okay, so he DIDN'T have the bullet wounds to prove it, but he still had a darn good case if anyone wanted to challenge him about it.

Having personally and deliberately killed a human being - not a mutant, or a human-esque demi-god, but a real, normal human being - felt... strange. Anticlimactic. Easy. Like he should have been clutching himself in horror and tossing down his weapons, swearing to never kill again, but instead was simply rationalizing it as a reasonable thing to do and moving on with his life. He couldn't even get worked up about the fact that he wasn't getting worked up about taking a human life; it just seemed so... so **natural**.

And then there was that stupid buzzing in the back of his head!

'What IS that? Damn, it's annoying!' Ranma grated his teeth as the unfamiliar urge intensified, and he focused his attention once more on the slain criminal.

His stomach grumbled. Loudly.

"Hmmmmmm..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hunter snarled as he pinned down the attacking cockroach under his front claw, and then stabbed down with his upper talons, punching through the creature's thorax carapace in a brief, messy burst of dark fluids.

_Splort!_ Another blob of acid splattered into the zergling's side, and smoke started pouring from the hardened bio-armor as the thick fluids bubbled and hissed.

Turning sharply away from the second roach, Hunter's tail smacked into it, not doing any actual damage but having enough force to knock the relatively light mutant on its back. From there Hunter turned completely around and then pounced on the incapacitated insect, digging his beak into its unprotected belly and feasting on the creature's innards.

Unseen by the zergling, a smaller roach dashed under his legs at a determined pace, either unconcerned with the alien or intelligent enough to realize that it stood no chance in combat. The humans huddled at the hall corner, using the zergling as a perimeter, seemed like a much safer bet.

_Clang!_

Junko raised the shovel that she had found earlier on in the hallway and nodded in satisfaction at the bits of carapace and dripping ichor that stuck to it. "The small ones aren't so tough... I think we just might get through this."

"Are you sure you don't want me to use the shovel on you, just in case?" Sakura asked worriedly.

Junko's eye twitched. "Look, Sakura, I know we haven't discussed this whole dual personality thing in-depth before, but I should tell you that I generally don't like having someone else in control of my body."

The blonde woman blinked, looking quite surprised by the admission. "Really? Akina doesn't mind having you in control."

"Well, that may or may not have to do with her not having much of a choice," Junko said, keeping a careful watch for any more roaches that might have gotten past Hunter.

"Actually, it would likely have more to do with the strain generated by the excessive output of psionic energies," Seras interjected as he stepped up behind the women, "she probably generates so much power that any moment she's NOT expending it in some way is very uncomfortable, or perhaps even painful!"

Sakura frowned. "Tuko, how do you know anything about psychic energy anyway? It doesn't really seem like a well-researched field of study..."

"Mad scientist college," he answered casually. "I needed an elective, and it seemed like an easy 'A'."

Junko's eyes narrowed. "Whatever. Where'd you go, anyway? We need all the help here we can-" then she recognized the dusty article of clothing Seras was carrying over his shoulder. "Is that Ranma's jacket?"

The drunk nodded. "I found it on the pile of debris that delivered you two to the sub-levels. I thought I saw it earlier, and after mulling over Saotome's affliction for a bit, I decided it might be worth my time to investigate."

"Speaking of his 'affliction'," Junko began, wincing as Hunter screeched viciously behind her and eviscerated another cockroach, "you haven't said anything about it, but it seemed like you were pretty troubled about him getting bitten earlier, and you were obviously surprised about his being okay. What's the story?"

"He was bitten by a T-virus infected roach," Seras deadpanned, "isn't it obvious?"

"Pretend that it isn't," the redhead insisted. "Some of us don't have the benefit of occasionally slipping into a state of competence by staying sober."

"Feh." Seras held out the jacket and clicked his tongue as he saw the blood encrusted on one shoulder. "The T-virus is a lethal pathogen, ladies. Putting aside its capacity for mutation - as you've likely noticed by now - and bringing things back from the dead as flesh-eating monstrosities, the T-virus is one-hundred-percent deadly."

"Wh-What? Ranma's going to die?" Sakura asked, horrified.

Seras shrugged. "At this point, I really can't say. Saotome's the only one I could imagine surviving the disease, save maybe your brother. If he was rendered unconscious but managed to recover, I see no reason why the virus should get the upper hand again, but his safety is far from assured."

As the girls glanced at each other pensively, the drunkard scratched his chin. "I need to get to my lab. We can settle this there."

He started to walk off, and Junko quickly fell into step behind him. "Wait! I'll come too!"

"Yeah, me too!" Sakura agreed, also following. "Should we bring Hunter?"

"No, we need him here to keep the little bastards from getting loose and spreading," Seras said. "So Sakura, you take the shovel and stay behind Chikiko. In case we need somebody to kill things."

The redhead groaned as Sakura took up her position as ordered. "You see? It's this sort of thing. THIS is why I didn't want it to get out. Jeez..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mizu frowned as Ranma took his seat. "It's about time you got back! The food already arrived! What was taking so long?"

Ranma chuckled nervously as he picked up his chopsticks. "Ah... well, I wasn't feeling very good earlier, and... let's just say you don't want to hear about it right before you eat."

Mizu would have agreed promptly, but was distracted by Ranma's smile. "Ranma, are you all right? Your gums are bleeding!"

His eyes widening, Ranma quickly snatched up his water and swished it about in his mouth before swallowing. "Oh, I'm fine... just fine! Nothing to worry about!"

The raven-haired woman looked across the table suspiciously. "Are you really okay?" She noticed that he was wearing his coat and keeping it closed, even though he was seated. The coat also seemed to be slightly damp in some spots, although the dark color made it very difficult to tell what color the liquid had been; she chalked it up to stray water that may have splashed on him at the bathroom sink.

"I said I'm okay, didn't I?" Ranma asked, rolling his eyes. "Relax. I'm just getting over the flu or something. It's not like I just killed and ate a guy."

Mizu was silent for several moments as the pigtail man began eating. "Uh... y-yes. I suppose... that's true..." not knowing what else to say to an assertion like that, she relented and started eating her own dinner. 'Oh well, as long as he says he's fine...'

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_Blam!_ "Srrrheee!"

The two-foot cockroach writhed about in agony as a .35 caliber slug punched through its carapace, unable to counterattack through the blinding pain.

_BLAM!!_ Snake annihilated another insect on his left, and then stepped over to the injured roach before kicking it in the side, sending the mutant sailing further into the tunnel.

"How many of these freaks could their possibly be?" Tiro complained as he smashed the butt of his own shotgun against a smaller roach on the wall. "I mean, seriously! In order to grow this many bugs you'd need an equally abundant source of food, right?"

"That makes too much sense, and therefore is an invalid assumption," Snake said as he pushed forward, loading more shells into his weapon.

Tycho rolled his eyes as he and his fellow slacker headed up the rear, following Kyle. "That's really annoying, you know."

"What?"

"How you've come so far in accepting this nonsense as reality," Tiro explained. "Just because you've decided that you don't care about the physical limitations of the universe doesn't mean they don't apply. Science is science, man."

Tycho nodded emphatically. "It's hard enough to keep our sanity fighting flesh-eating zombies and mutant insects as it is; our little remaining faith in science is all that we've got left! Show a little respect for the immutable laws of nature!"

Snake stopped as he reached a large cavern at the end of the tunnel and leaned forward to peek into the yawning chasm within. "And just how immutable are these laws?"

"Pretty darn immutable," Tiro asserted.

"Or at least, I'm really, REALLY hoping so," Tycho amended.

Kyle scratched his head as he walked up next to Snake. "Huh... so, does that mean that roaches DO have queens after all?"

Lying in the center of the cavern, a bloated, throbbing monstrosity howled weakly at the intruders to its nest.

On either side of the beast, viciously hooked and barbed legs scrabbled uselessly to move the titanic bulk they were attached to. Stray bits of horned armor, once having belonged to a single, complete exoskeleton, clung to a thick, sticky film that covered the mutant creature, cracked and useless. The monstrosity's abdomen was a pale, fleshy, swollen sack of eggs covered in spider veins and birthing fluids. Its thorax had fared much worse when undergoing its mutations, and a multitude of legs - horribly mismatched in size and all of them useless for their original purpose of locomotion - stuck out awkwardly from underneath a thick, filth-covered bulb partially covered by the sundered bits of carapace. Dozens of tentacles originated from the bulb and had stuck into the walls of the nursery, and ichor dripped freely from numerous tears and seeping holes in the strange appendages.

Compared to the rest of the beast, its head was the least alien and disturbing. Bearing no less than seven glassy black eyes, a pair of long, barbed antenna, and dripping, razor-sharp mandibles, it was absurdly small relative to the rest of the body, despite being a bit larger than a human's head. Currently the head was gnashing about furiously, jerking back and forth as if hoping to pull its titanic body along with it to slaughter the unwanted humans.

"Okay Snake, seriously," Tycho deadpanned as he stared down at the freakish thing, "you have to either stop being right all the time, or stop making such horrible predictions."

"Scared! Very, very scared right now!" Tiro said, visibly trembling as he hid behind Kyle.

Kyle raised an eyebrow. "Why? It's not like it can hurt us." He leaned down and pointed to the queen roach, chuckling. "Ha! Look at it! It's too fat to move! Stupid bug!"

The sound of moving earth and crumbling rock had everyone else diving to the side right before a thick, fleshy tendril burst from the tunnel wall and clamped onto Kyle's arm with a pair of vice-like pincers at the end.

"OW! Stop that!" The genetically enhanced officer growled, grabbing onto the tentacle and yanking hard. The appendage squeaked slightly as it was torn apart, and it flew free of the new hole in the wall in a brief shower of murky fluids.

"Okay then. Despite the stupid bug being too fat to move, it CAN indeed hurt us," Snake noted as he crawled over to the edge of the chasm overlooking the nest. "Whatever. Shouldn't be too hard to kill this thing."

"What are you, crazy?" Tiro asked rhetorically. "All we brought were shotguns and handguns! That thing is huge!"

Snake smiled as he drew his sidearm and took aim into the nest. "Yes. But it's head - the universal weak point of monsters everywhere - is small. No sweat." _Blam!_

_Ptwang!_ The queen roach's head flinched slightly as the bullet bounced off of its hardened carapace plating.

"Sweat," Kyle countered as the monster roach hissed angrily at them from below.

"What the HELL?" Snake shouted angrily. "That was an AP round! There's no way a bug's stupid shell could deflect that! It'd have to be harder than steel!" Raising the weapon again, he fired several more times into the mutant's trembling skull.

_Blam! Blam! Ptwang! Tink! Blam! Twang!_

"SEE? It's bloody annoying when the laws of physics suddenly decide not to apply, isn't it?" Tiro said.

A slight rumble alerted the officers to more tentacles coming from the walls, and Tiro and Tycho began scrambling about in blind panic.

One tendril emerged above Kyle, and he promptly grabbed onto it before tearing it right out of the wall, as he had done before. "So what are we gonna do? Do you have any of those anti-armor shells for the shotguns?"

"Despite coming from you, that's actually a halfway-decent idea," Snake said as he rolled quickly to one side just before a snapping pair of pincers emerged from below him.

Kyle brightened. "Thanks!"

Snake promptly turned and blew away the tentacle that had been grabbing for him. "Unfortunately, the answer is no! I didn't think anything down here would be bulletproof!"

"GAH!" Tycho beat at another tentacle frantically with his own shotgun as the wily appendage snapped at him clumsily. "Would you two DO something, already?! We might actually die here!"

Kyle shrugged. "Well, Snake says anti-armor shells might work, but we don't have any with us." Then he turned and stared down into the cavern. "Maybe there's some down there?"

Snake blinked. "Why would there be ammo in a mutant roach's nest?"

"I dunno. There's all sorts of stuff down there," Kyle explained, pointing down at the bottom of the cavern. "See? There's some beer and old magazines. I think that's the captain's computer. And that's the outfit that Junko left in the locker room before we ran away."

"What?" Tiro scrambled away from the tentacle that was blindly groping for him and then crawled up next to Kyle before looking down into the chasm. "HEY! Bad enough these mutant freaks are ripping apart the building and trying to eat us, but they're stealing our stuff too?!"

Tycho rushed to their side, eager to get closer to Kyle in case more tendrils ambushed them. "They must have been grabbing everything they could carry in order to bring food back to the nest... there might actually be some ammo down there."

"Ammo? Screw the ammo," Snake said as he grinned, a manic edge to his voice that made the others shiver.

"Huh? What do you mean? How else are we going to kill that thing?" Kyle asked.

Snake started rubbing his hands together. "Commander, one out of every ten objects in this entire building small enough to be easily carried by something smaller than a human is an explosive device," he explained gleefully. "That fat freak factory is sitting on a nest full of bombs."

Tiro brightened instantly. "Awesome! Then let's leave and blow them up from a safe distance!"

He started bigsweating as Snake rolled his eyes. "Please?"

"It's not that easy, moron," the weapons expert said as he stepped on another tentacle that was squirming out of the ground, pinning it down with his boot. "None of the bombs are armed, and we can't detonate them by shooting them or anything."

Tycho groaned. "You're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting, are you?"

"We're going to have to go down there, dig through the mess of eggs, grubs, and flailing limbs, find the bombs, and arm them ourselves," Snake explained before lowering his shotgun and blasting the tentacle writhing under his boot. _BLAM!!_ "Well, we don't have all day. Get a move on!"

Tiro let out a brief sob as he stepped to the edge of the tunnel, staring down into the mass of throbbing eggs and pupae below. "I miss fighting heavily armed terrorists..." he mumbled as he jumped down.

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"Hmmm... this is strange..." Seras mumbled to himself as he adjusted the microscope in front of him.

A loud scraping noise made him turn from his observations, and he sighed as Sakura and Junko slowly pushed a supply cabinet in front of the door. "Girls, given that Hunter would have easily spotted and eviscerated any mutants larger than a TV remote, I hardly think that barricading the door is going to make a bit of difference."

"Really?" Sakura asked, obviously distressed.

Then she turned and stared at Junko pleadingly.

"NO! Akina's staying cooped up in my subconscious where she belongs!" The redhead insisted, holding the sides of her head as if to protect it.

"Would you two PLEASE quiet down?" The scientist growled, "It's hard enough to concentrate on this as it is! I'm still not completely sober, you know!"

"But what if the roaches follow us in here?"

Seras started writing something down on a notepad as he answered. "On the off chance that happens, we still have Chikiko's shovel. But I doubt it will be necessary. No doubt by now our comrades have already located the origin of the vermin and are even now enacting a risky and unlikely plan to end this plague."

Sakura sighed. "I just hope he doesn't have to blow up more of the building to do it..."

"Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment," the drunken scientist intoned. Then he frowned. "Tekai, could you hand me the shovel, please?"

"NO! Leave me alone!" Junko instinctively shouted.

"Would you relax? It's not for you," Seras deadpanned, "I just need a different virus sample. This one has been... well..."

"What's wrong? What did you find?" Sakura asked fearfully as she handed Seras the requested tool. The sample he was currently observing was the blood on Ranma's jacket, meaning that anything wrong with it indicated something that was probably wrong with Ranma as well.

"I... well, it's hard to say," the man mumbled as he took the shovel and gazed at the partially-dried muck stuck to the head. "This is... unexpected. Saotome may be in more trouble than I thought."

"WHAT?! Really?" Sakura cried, absolutely frantic.

Seras stopped to think for a moment. "... Well, actually, I thought he had died and become a zombie, and honestly, it's pretty hard to top that. So... no, not really." He turned back to his work as Sakura and Junko fell face-first onto the floor. "Now hush. I'm working, here."

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"Your plans are the worst, Snake!" Tiro cried as his trembling fingers armed the detonator on the second block of plastic explosives he had found so far.

He was up to his knees in soft, warm, squirming flesh, and his entire body trembled from the sensations.

A smaller adult roach crawled onto his hand as he finished arming the bomb, and he immediately recoiled, tossing the insect off of him.

"I don't know; I think it's a pretty good plan," Kyle said as he waded toward another explosive inconveniently bundled under the roach queen's atrophied legs. As soon as he came close, the nearest appendage began stabbing toward him viciously with what little leverage it could muster.

The blond man grabbed the leg firmly as it darted toward him, and then drove it straight down into the ground, sinking it a good three feet into the cavern floor.

Then he raised his leg and stamped down on the writhing appendage, breaking it instantly and eliciting another quivering howl from the monstrous insect.

"Commander, whatever you're doing to piss it off, STOP!" Tycho begged, standing just a few feet in front of the queen's head and tenderly reaching toward it to arm the bomb lying just outside of biting distance. His other arm protected his face from the creature's antennae as they whipped about wildly, occasionally smacking into the DAPC's driver with surprising force.

"You know Yamazaki, this is all technically your fault in the first place, so I'm not sure you're allowed to complain about the plan to fix it," the American noted as he finished arming his fifth explosive device, ignoring the writhing larvae squirming around his legs.

_Splorch!_ On his side, the queen's birthing canal vomited forth another wet, sticky ball of eggs.

Snake looked at it briefly, shrugged, and then raised his shotgun. _BLAM!!_

He smiled as the egg sack was reduced to shredded gunk. "Pointless. But fun!"

_Rrrrrrrrumble..._

Snake looked up at the cavern as it began to shake, and frowned. The numerous tendrils that originated from the roach queen's thorax had been trembling violently ever since they entered the nest, and now some of them were pumping back and forth furiously as they slowly worked themselves free of the earthen walls in which they were imprisoned.

Stopping briefly to pick up his leg and stomp on one of the adult roaches that were skittering toward him, Snake then turned and called to the others. "Guys? I think we should wrap this up! Queeny's having a major temper tantrum, here!"

"Tell me something I don't know!" Tycho growled as the insect's razor-sharp jaws snapped uselessly for his outstretched hand. A moment later he finally finished arming the device, and immediately turned before throwing himself on the chasm wall. "That's plenty of bombs! Let's leave! NOW!!" He started clambering up the wall with all haste, kicking his legs wildly all the while to dislodge anything that was clinging to his body.

Kyle frowned as he finished with his own bomb, not being completely sure he had armed the thing correctly. "Geez guys, calm down, would you? Where's your sense of pride?"

"I left it at home, under my bed, where I hope to spend the next twelve hours curled up in the fetal position trying to forget this nightmare," Tiro said as he dashed by as best he could atop the living carpet beneath him.

"I just don't see what the big rush is," Kyle mumbled, spotting another explosive partially buried under several plastic bags and other half-eaten trash.

_Bwoom!_ A brief shower of dirt and rock poured down over the blond man as one of the tentacles twisting about overhead finally tore itself free from its earthen prison.

"What the he-OOMPH!" Kyle felt the air exit his lungs as he was swatted into the far wall by the thick tendril of flesh, smacking into the rock next to Tiro with enough force to almost make the lecher lose his grip. Only the man's terror-inspired death grip on his only route to safety kept him from sliding back down into the nursery chasm.

_BLAM!!_ Green ichor burst from the freed tentacle as Snake opened fire, and it sagged slightly from the injury.

"Tch! Outta the way!" The American shouted.

_BLAM!!_ His final shell finished the job, tearing the last bit of pulpy flesh that kept the tentacle in one piece. The writhing appendage fell to the nursery floor, useless, as a veritable shower of discolored gore sputtered from the bulb above the roach queen's thorax.

_Crack! Bwoom!_ Two more tentacles were wrenched free from the walls, and Snake groaned as he tossed his empty shotgun to the side, deeming it dead weight.

"Goddamn bug... just HAD to be bullet-proof, didn't you?" He snapped as he passed by the beast's head.

With a terrible snarl, the queen jerked her head to one side, smacking the American in the chest with her antennae.

Snake flinched back slightly from the impact, then growled and grabbed the minor obstruction with both hands.

"Whoa, wait, Lieutenant, don't-"

_Crack!_ Bringing his hands down and his knee up, the American snapped the great beast's sensitive antennae like a dry tree branch.

"SSSSSSSCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" 

_Bwoom! Bwoom! Kroom!_ One by one, the other tentacles embedded in the walls tore free of their earth prisons as the queen sputtered in pain and rage.

"RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!" Tiro screamed, already in the process of following his own advice.

"Kyle!" Snake shouted, darting to one side as a tentacle attempted to slam into him from above, "Need a boost, here!"

Kyle, who was already halfway up the wall of the cavern, nodded grimly and held one arm out as the American reached him and jumped. The moment he grasped Snake's arm, Kyle pulled him up and very nearly threw him the rest of the way up to the chasm edge.

"Come on! Hurry!" Snake shouted back down as he turned to help Kyle up to the edge.

_Wham!_ One of the smaller tentacles snaked into the tunnel and then smashed into his side, the American having nowhere to dodge within the narrow space.

Gritting his teeth against the pain, Snake pushed the fleshy tendril aside and then reached down over the edge to grab onto Kyle's arm.

Lifting himself up, Kyle promptly stomped on the tentacle trying to wrap around Snake, grinding it into a gooey pulp.

"No time! Let's get out of here!" Snake gasped as he dashed after Tycho and Tiro.

Another quivering moan followed them from behind, as well as two more tentacles that twisted and wriggled through the tunnels as they sought to bind and crush the interlopers.

Still running, Snake took the remote detonator out of his belt, then immediately fumbled it as a thick, slimy tentacle wrapped around his ankle and yanked him off his feet. "GAH! The detonator!"

Kyle ignored the device, and immediately grabbed onto Snake's hand, holding on firmly as the second tentacle slammed into his chest and tried to wrap around his neck. "Augh! Dammit!"

"The detonator! Forget about me and get-"

The sound of scuffed dirt was barely audible over the ruckus of his body being slowly torn in two, but it was enough to attract Snake's attention as he looked back to where Tiro was picking the remote up out of the dirt.

"D-DIE, FREAK!!" The cowardly lecher screamed. _Beep!_

_KRAAAKOOOOOOOOM!!!_

Roaches exterminated (larvae, eggs, adults): 2,706

Biological infeasible insect queens incinerated: 1

Muggers cannibalized: 1

End Chapter 25


	26. Evolution

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Zombies are the creation of Max Brooks, whose tireless devotion to spreading the word about the undead menace has been the salvation of my life and my warm, delicious living flesh.

Guardian  
Chapter 26  
Evolution

"My god!"

Snake, Kyle, Tiro, Tycho, Junko, and Sakura all jolted to attention.

"What? What is it?" Sakura said, her face the very picture of dread as she whirled around.

Seras shook his head slowly from where he was stooped over a computer keyboard, right next to a complex array of test tubes and complicated electronic implements. "This... I never imagined this might happen..."

Junko frowned, and briefly finished tying the bandage wrappings tight around Tycho's leg. "Just spit it out, already!"

The drunken scientist looked over the exhausted officers gathered in his lab and staring at him, the tension palpable. Then he took a deep breath.

"I just saved a whole lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Gei-" _WHOMP!_ A boot promptly smashed into Seras' face, knocking him over onto the floor.

Junko turned to Snake, who was already taking off his other boot just in case it would be needed. "Thanks."

Seras grunted as he stumbled to his feet, rubbing his face. "For goodness sakes, will you people lighten up? The big emergency is over already, you'd think a little joke would-" _WHOMP!_

Snake slumped back against the wall. "I'm out of boots now, so next time I'm just going to shoot you. This is fair warning."

Junko stood up and wiped her forehead. "Tuko, you said that the T-virus was 100 deadly, right? What should I do if one of us is infected?"

The medical officer got to his feet unsteadily, rubbing his head. "The most effective prescription would be a bullet to the head," he said bluntly, causing Junko, Sakura and Tiro to pale considerably. "That way you'll die quickly, and won't take anyone else with you."

"Th-That's horrible!" Sakura protested.

"Well, what do you want me to say? It's not like I made the damn thing." Seras replied in annoyance. "Let me get one thing straight, since apparently none of you were listening before, and now I have your attention: the T-virus is the single deadliest biological weapon in existence. If you're infected, you WILL die. And THEN, after you die, you'll turn into a stumbling, flesh-eating zombie that will do everything in its limited power to spread the virus to every living thing you can find. It is absolutely CRITICAL that you avoid exposure to the T-virus whenever possible in the field. It's not only your life at stake; an outbreak could destroy an entire city, easily!"

"Yeah, I really think we're going to have to call in some outside help to rebuild from this one," Snake said to Junko as he rubbed his chin.

"The Captain's only going to be gone for a couple of days while she recovers from having the bullet removed," the redhead said anxiously. "How much can any construction firm fix in that amount of time?"

Tiro crossed his arms over his chest. "No matter what it takes, we MUST see the HQ rebuilt, and FAST. We can pool our savings together, if need be."

"You're not serious!" Tycho complained.

Snake shook his head. "If Asuka sees HQ like this, she'll just dock our pay to have it rebuilt anyway. PLUS some kind of extra punishment on the side. Yamazaki is right." 

Seras twitched in annoyance as the officers continued to talk amongst themselves, completely ignoring him.

"Irritating to be disregarded all the time, isn't it?" Yamma asked from where he was putting up micro-scans on the observation board.

"Oh, hush you," the drunk mumbled as he grabbed for a beer sitting on the lab table.

His arm stopped short as a slim hand took him firmly by the wrist.

He was fairly surprised to see Sakura standing over him, preventing him from making further progress to his drink.

"Please... Tuko... I'm listening. Wh-What does this mean for Ranma?" she asked timidly, her face pale but determined.

Seras raised an eyebrow, and then withdrew his hand. "What does it mean for him? Well... I've only had a few hours to research the blood sample, but already I can tell you that his case is... more than a little unique."

"Unique HOW?" Sakura pressed.

Seras sighed. "All I can tell you is that his body is fighting the virus. And doing much better than any of us would. I don't think the virus will kill him, but the T-virus possesses considerable capacity for mutation."

Sakura let go of him, but she still looked pensive.

"Look, let's not worry about Saotome right now. If there's one officer who could take care of himself, it's Ranma," Seras said reassuringly. "I'll run a battery of tests and get this sorted out as soon as possible. What's critical right now is that you all make sure you've been properly treated. This strain of the virus isn't airborne, so a good disinfectant cycle should keep you all safe as long as you have no open wounds. You give Ranma's house a call when you get home, and if you can't get ahold of him, then I'll have some answers for you tomorrow."

Sakura nodded, glancing away as she noticed that the others were leaving the lab one by one. "I see... well, thank you for all your hard work!" Bowing deeply, she turned around and raced to catch up to Kyle as he exited the room.

Seras shook his head as he returned to his work. "Honestly, why would they let simple-minded girls like that into this department? Most people have a hard enough time saving their own skin," the man grumbled.

"For the same reason they allow self-absorbed drunkards with no formal qualifications, I imagine," Yamma said.

"Oh, shut up and administer those samples like I asked," the medical officer groused.

"Fine," the taller man mumbled as he picked up the rack of test tubes, each containing a bit of murky green fluid. "... So, are you actually going to tell me what, exactly, we're testing for, here? Or why half of the building has been demolished? Last I heard, today's mission was a success, and yet our place of operations is in ruins."

Seras blinked, and then stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "... Nah. Now stop yapping and get working."

"Sigh. Yes, sir."

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"Ranma, are you sure you're feeling okay?" Mizu asked as they approached the movie theatre arm-in-arm.

"Of course I'm okay! I'm better than okay! I'm feeling GREAT! Really great! Really ultra-super-great!" The pigtailed man said gleefully, grinning from ear to ear.

Mizu sweatdropped as she watched her date laugh at something only he found funny. "Yes, well... that's sort of why I'm concerned. It's not like you to be QUITE this happy for no reason." It wasn't only that, of course; Ranma had also seemed abnormally twitchy and hyperactive ever since they left the restaurant, and she couldn't figure out why. He hadn't had anything with caffeine or alcohol in it, she was sure.

Ranma turned toward her, a brilliant smile on his face. "Who says it's for no reason? I'm having a great time with a beautiful woman; why shouldn't I be happy?" Without waiting for his date to flush or stutter, he reached around her back and pulled her close.

Now Mizu KNEW something was wrong. Ranma NEVER flirted. He didn't have to, for one thing (he certainly didn't need to pass any compliments to her if he wanted to get into her pants). While he might occasionally blurt out something particularly charming while stumbling through a conversation, strategic compliments were something that Ranma Saotome didn't do.

Not that she was complaining, or anything.

"Oh. Well, if you put it that way," Mizu squeaked out as she tried to get her heart rate back under control. 'Is he... is he feeling me up? I think he just felt me up!'

Ranma barely glanced at the man at the door as Mizu fumbled in her purse for the tickets she had bought ahead of time. Truth be told, he didn't know WHY he felt so happy, but he was fairly sure it didn't have much to do with Mizu being there. His body, which had been miserable ever since that accident with the biohazard container in the afternoon, had recovered completely, and then some. He was at 200; he felt like he could take on an entire army, with Herb at the lead and Saffron waiting at the end.

There were other effects, too. Strange effects that he was trying to ignore. His mind kept wanting to wander, for some reason, and he kept seeing odd colors and hazy images on the edge of his field of vision.

To distract himself from the odd hallucinations, he was paying more attention to Mizu. EXTREMELY close attention. His eyes kept lingering on her smooth, sensual curves and the swell of her breasts, and his nostrils flared periodically as he took in her scent; the rich strawberry perfume mixed liberally with her own delicate pheremones intoxicated his sharpened senses.

He wanted to touch her. Well, he WAS touching her, but he wanted to touch her more. In private, preferably while they were both naked. Urges that he had easily ignored in the past - shoved aside to prevent distraction and trouble - assaulted him relentlessly, and he found himself seizing them to avoid the bizarre new sensations on the edge of his consciousness.

"My, aren't we frisky today?" Mizu had meant it as a teasing joke, but her heart was beating so fast that she fumbled her words and it ended up sounding more like an accusation.

Ranma shrugged and removed his arm. "Sorry. I just thought-"

"No! Er, I mean, yes, it's fine!" the raven-haired woman said, panicking. 'Damn it! Get a grip, girl! You know how rare it is to find Ranma in the mood!'

The pigtailed man just looked confused, so Mizu took his arm and pulled him aside, her face burning red. "Ranma... ah... how to put this..." she frowned cutely as she fretted over how to ask what was on her mind. Though she knew that Ranma was typically very dense and unresponsive when it came to romance, he was being strangely forward now, and she didn't really know how to deal with it. "You're being a bit more... aggressive than usual, and it's not that I don't like it, but... ah..."

She was saved from any further pondering when Ranma suddenly cupped her cheek with one hand as he smiled down at her, obliterating her ability for organized thought.

"Did you want to just skip the movie?" He said, grinning. "Maybe get right to that kiss you wanted?"

Mizu didn't stand a chance. Her face glowed red as she sidled up next to her date. "Y-Yes. Maybe back at my place?"

"My house is closer," Ranma noted, pulling her up against him further so that he could feel the heat from her body against him. Raw, primal forces assailed his psyche, demanding more; it took a fair amount of his harshly ingrained discipline and mental control to keep himself from stripping the woman then and there.

Mizu nearly swooned as she nodded, and quickly moved with Ranma toward the front entrance, her heart nearly bursting out of her chest. She had hoped to make considerable progress in her relationship with Ranma tonight, but she had never hoped to get so far so quickly!

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_The target has been sighted. Sector 8-B, street level. Target is breaking off from neutral concentration._

Yamiko nodded silently as she looked over the series of computer monitors arrayed in front of her, while Yoshi and Alexandra waited patiently behind her. Most of the monitors were blank, while those that were currently active either showed huge collections of random data, save a single screen that was zooming in on a certain couple currently exiting the theatre.

_Proximity warning... neutral unit is within combat range, moving with target toward checkpoint zeta._

Alex leaned forward. "Hmmm... it seems like our little policeman has a date tonight. How cute." She smirked cruelly. "Designate her as a secondary target. Splatter both of them into paste."

Yamiko raised an eyebrow, and then shrugged. "Confirm neutral unit as secondary objective. Hold position and await ambush marker 3-3-H."

As the field of vision shifted along with the process of the reconnaissance drone, Yoshi frowned. "Wait. Bring the drone back. Shift the view back to the right."

Yamiko and Alex both blinked at the sudden and urgent request, and Yamiko quickly put her hand on the manual control, shifting the camera view back over to the theatre even as the drone started moving across the length of the rooftop.

Yoshi scratched his chin in interest, and both women stared at him pensively. "Ah. They were going to see Scary Movie 4."

Yamiko swiftly fell over, stumbling over her chair and crashing onto the floor. Alexandra slapped her forehead.

The diminutive scientist turned away from the monitor toward his current companions. "Is that one any good? Personally, I thought the series went completely downhill after the first one. Adding Leslie Nielson to the cast was surely an act of desperation more than anything else."

"Professor Konta, really!" Yamiko stuttered as she got to her feet. "This is a serious field test! It's not the time to be making jokes!"

"I find that those are the best times to make jokes, actually," Yoshi argued pointedly, nodding to himself. "The tension gives the punch lines more impact."

Yamiko could only gape at the bespectacled man, and then glanced up at Alexandra.

The brunette simply shrugged and rolled her eyes, indicating that, yes, this WAS the professor's usual behavior.

The lady doctor straightened and sniffed condescendingly. "Professor Konta, while you may be my superior and - if the rumors hold even a grain of truth - a brilliant scientist, but there are certain standards of professionalism expected of individuals of such esteem! Cracking silly jokes in the middle of a field test is unacceptable behavior!"

Yoshi looked entirely unimpressed by her criticism. "Is it as bad as not paying attention during a field test and getting the observer drone run over?"

"Is it as bad as-?" Yamiko began to repeat his words in her confusion, and then her eyes widened before she turned around.

_Crunch!_ The monitor flickered as the image of a tire truck flashed on the screen, and then it went snowy.

_Beep! System error. Drone contact interrupted. Re-establishing remote link... failed._

A vein popped up on Yamiko's head as she began to simmer,and Yoshi clicked his tongue.

"Those automated units aren't cheap, Doctor. You should really be more careful."

The snowy-haired woman whirled around, her hand balling into a fist as she searched for the words to properly express her current frustration.

Failing at that, she looked up at Alexandra.

Alex simply shrugged. "What do you want from me? He's right. He's a twisted, smug little prick, but he's right."

Yoshi seemed almost pleased at the commentary, which did nothing to improve Yamiko's rapidly darkening mood.

"I'll launch another drone immediately," she mumbled through clenched teeth as her fingers danced across the keyboard.

Attempting to distract herself from her sudden urge to throttle her colleague, she decided to ask a question that had been on her mind. "So, why was this man chosen as the test target? I understand he's a police officer, but do you really think one policeman is going to be an effective combat test against my cyborgs?"

"Of course not," Alex said casually, running a hand through her hair, "this isn't a combat test so much as a control test. Me and Igov need to ensure that these things can follow orders and fight without going out of control or suffering sudden operations failures."

"Ah, I see," Yamiko mumbled as another monitor flickered to life, showing an image of the street as the small, spider-like camera drone skittered onto the sidewalk and then started scaling a wall.

Yoshi nodded. "If we'd wanted a combat test, we would have sent more of them."

It took a few moments for that to sink in before Yamiko frowned. "Don't you mean less?"

"No, he's right," Alex mumbled as she watched Ranma and the unfamiliar woman came into view once more. "Unless these creations of yours are spectacularly more effective than we've guessed, they don't really stand a chance."

The Russian woman shook her head. "I don't understand how..." she trailed off for a moment. "Well, considering that combat is hardly my area of expertise, I suppose I can assume that you know what you're talking about... but if that's the case, why did we choose this individual for a field test?"

"Spite, mostly," Alex admitted, picking up a cup of coffee and taking a sip. "If our reconnaissance is to be believed, he's mostly responsible for the slaughter of our entire combat team this morning. Killing his date will be a nice start toward paying him back for that."

"It wasn't entirely his fault," Yoshi pointed out. "That redhead supposedly did quite a bit of damage too."

"I'm not sure if I believe that," the buxom woman mumbled. "If anything, it's probably a freak accident involving the T-virus."

_Enemy approaching ambush point. Awaiting orders._ An electronic voice buzzed from above, and before Yamiko could say anything, Alex took control.

"Activate units five through eight and engage the enemy. Fire at will," she said gleefully, a cruel smirk on her lips.

Immediately, four more monitors flickered to life. _Confirmed._

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"It's... It's not that I'm complaining or anything," Mizu stuttered, her face flushed as she was held closely against Ranma's side. "You've just never been... you know, this **receptive** before."

"Hummm... yeah, I guess so," Ranma mumbled distractedly. "I dunno. I feel really... mellow right now."

Just a few more blocks. Just a mere ten more minutes, and then he would take her.

Small parts of his brain assaulted his libido, telling him that this situation was all wrong; that he should be more concerned with the strange things that were happening to his mind, and less concerned with ravishing one of his dear friends.

Despite the couple's progress toward his house, the common sense started to make headway, and Ranma frowned.

Something WAS wrong here. He had responsibilities and duties that he should be performing. He had left his friends fighting an infestation of killer insects back in HQ; shouldn't he have checked on them as some point to make sure they were okay? Or to let him know that HE was?

As that point took hold in Ranma's mind, more concerns floated to the surface. WAS he okay? There was no denying, even in his current sort-of inebriated state, that his behavior was completely bizarre. What was happening to him? How long would it last? Was he even himself anymore?

'What the hell am I doing here?' he started to wonder to himself as he started to become more aware of his surroundings. 'The others might be in trouble! Something might have happened! Holy hell, I actually ATE a guy! And here I am trying to get into Mizu's pants? What's wrong with me?'

"Ranma?" Mizu asked in concern as the pigtailed man stopped. "Is something the matter?"

Ranma slowly let go of her, wobbling back and forth as if in a daze.

"Ranma! Ranma, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

He didn't answer, instead falling to his knees and clutching his head while groaning in a way that made it pretty obvious that he wasn't okay.

Mizu, being a grand example of a competent, well-trained emergency worker, immediately started rooting around in her purse for her cellular phone rather than panicking. She'd work on making Ranma comfortable after an ambulance was on the way.

When she flipped open her phone, Mizu was both confused and terrified to find that she was not receiving service in the immediate area.

'Okay. Okay, don't panic. THINK. Why wouldn't I have service out here? I'm in the middle of the city!' There was absolutely no reason for the cell phone not to be receiving a signal in this area... unless someone was deliberately killing the signal. But why would anyone do that?

Spending a few seconds to mull that over didn't yield any useful results, so she decided to move on to alternative plans.

'All right, I need to contact help somehow... asking random people won't do any good; unless I got extremely lucky and stumbled into a doctor on his night out, I wouldn't find anyone better trained for something like this than I am. I know! A land line! Whatever's the problem with my cell wouldn't affect a normal phone!'

Taking a moment to glance at Ranma, she noted that he had started mumbling to himself as he clutched his head in pain. Troubling, obviously, but it didn't seem like he'd die if she left him for a little bit.

She immediately began scanning the nearby buildings. They were all small retail shops that had been closed for the night, meaning that any one of them would have a phone, but all of them had locked doors.

A significant obstacle, but hardly insurmountable.

"I'm going to borrow this for a bit," Mizu said reassuringly as she reached for Ranma's waist and drew his pistol from its holster. "I'll be right back, okay? I'm going to call for help! Stay right here!"

"It can't... the guy shot... the bullets... knife in the..." Ranma's mumbling was starting to become more frantic and fevered, so Mizu quickly turned away and dashed to the nearest building behind her.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!"

A woman's scream caused her to halt in surprise and whirl around, cursing her luck that some OTHER calamity was occurring at the same time her date needed help.

_Target sighted. Beginning attack._

The seven-foot monstrosity mumbled through its metal face mask in buzzing monotone, stepping heedlessly past the terrified woman that had screamed.

Another cyborg, this one sporting a rifle built directly into its arm, followed alongside the first, while two more lagged behind to cover their approach in a clumsy formation that Igov had programmed specifically for this test.

Stopping at a range of about ten meters, the cyborgs in the front took aim with their rifles.

Mizu spent a good second gaping at the sight of four bionic men tromping around on the streets, but quickly regained her senses once she realized they were aiming weapons. "RANMA!! Run! They're going to-"

_Br-raap! Br-raap!_

Mizu felt her heart seize in her chest as a pair of heavy rounds blasted right into the pigtailed man, who didn't even seem aware of the threat until blood burst from his back and he was thrown onto the pavement.

As the raven-haired woman's mind ground to a halt, her soldier's instincts promptly took over, and before she had even begun to process what had just happened, she had ducked around the corner of the shop she was about to break into and switched the safety off the pistol in her hands.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex, Yamiko, and Yoshi all stared wordlessly at the image of Ranma splayed out on the pavement, lying comatose atop a narrow, fan-like blood slick.

"Well," Yamiko said eventually as the cyborgs started their advance on the secondary target, "that wasn't very impressive, now was it?" She was tempted to start singing the praises of her creations, since they had just dispatched a target that had been gauged at far beyond their ability, but honestly the cyborgs' performance had been rather underwhelming as well; there was nothing particularly spectacular about walking up to a prone man in the street and gunning him down while he was preoccupied.

"No. No, it wasn't," Alex said bemusedly.

Yoshi shook his head. "Maybe he was having a bad day?"

"Considering he was just killed, yes, I'd say he was having a very bad day," Alexandra quipped, watching carefully as the last cyborg moved past the body lying in the street to chase down the woman. "Wait. Have one of them stay with the body."

Yamiko gave her a look. "What for? It's better if they stay together when-"

"Just do it," Alex snapped, leveling a glare at the Russian woman. Yamiko glared back, but then turned toward the console.

"Unit seven, secure the immediate area and hold position. Your new defensive objective is the body of the target."

_Confirmed. Breaking off from formation..._

On one of the monitors the image halted, indicating that the cyborg it was feeding data from had stopped moving. After a few seconds of delay, it started to turn around toward the street once more.

_Bzsht!_ Suddenly the view from the monitor shook violently, and then turned to static.

"What? What happened?" Yamiko asked, alarmed. "Unit seven! Status report!"

_Connection lost. Attempting to reestablish contact... failed. Unit N-007 has been marked as a casualty. Cause of deactivation: unknown._

"I think I can hazard a guess," Alex mumbled. "I knew it was too good to be true."

Yamiko gave her superiors an odd look, then turned back toward the monitors. "Unit six! Unit eight! Fall back to unit seven's last known position and secure the area immediately!"

_Confirmed. Breaking off from formation..._

Once again, the images representing the vision of the respective cyborgs stopped and turned around toward the street.

Yamiko's eye twitched. The spot where Ranma's body had laid was bare, save for a fan-shaped streak of blood. To make matters worse, unit seven - that is, the lower half of unit seven - was lying in a heap less than a meter from the blood slick, and was creating its own pool of internal fluids from the twisted and torn tubes and wires sticking out of its waist.

"You... You can't be serious..." the Russian scientist mumbled as the cyborgs moved to defend the dismembered remains of their companion.

"Huh. Seems a bit more... BRUTAL than usual," Yoshi noted. "I wonder if something was wrong with him?"

"Seems likely," Alex mumbled. "Oh! Unit five is almost on the girl."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mizu's heart thundered in her chest as she lay crouched behind several garbage cans, the muzzle of the 13mm. jackal shaking as her hands trembled.

'They killed Ranma... they killed Ranma! Those... Those metal freaks shot him! They shot him dead!'

The image of blood spurting from his back and splattering over the asphalt replayed over and over in her mind, and her teeth clenched.

'They KILLED HIM!! Those twisted bastards killed him!'

It is generally accepted in the field of psychology that the first two stages of grieving were denial and anger. It was normal to react to the death of a loved one first by reinforcing in one's mind that it wasn't true, and cling to that illusion.

Mizu was an exceptionally realistic woman. She decided that it would be much more efficient to skip to the "anger" stage.

_Ch-chak!_ She checked the ammunition in the jackal and then pulled back the slide, and her hands stopped shaking as her eyes narrowed. 'How dare they?! They won't get away with this! I'll KILL them!'

A fairly loud scuffling noise came from the mouth of the alley, accompanied by the sounds of heavy footfalls.

As Mizu's mind broiled in its rage, her military training once more took over, judging the cyborg's progress down the alley and figuring out the best time to ambush the blasted thing.

_Clomp. Clomp. Clomp._

Silence. The cyborg had stopped.

_Br-raap!_

Operating on instincts that had apparently failed Ranma earlier, Mizu dove out from behind her cover right as the cyborg fired, the heavy rifle punching easily through the light cover but ultimately failing to hit the target.

The Core soldier rolled into a crouch, and spent a moment to stabilize herself as she lined up Ranma's pistol.

_Blam!! Thwom!_

Both Mizu and the cyborg jerked back from the pistol's discharge; Mizu because the pistol's kick had nearly shattered her right arm, and the cyborg because the large, explosive, armor-piercing round HAD shattered its left shoulder, spraying chunks of metal, gore, and blood - not to mention the arm connected to the shoulder - onto the ground behind it.

As the cyborg staggered backward from the damage, Mizu winced badly and decided on a change of tactics.

'Dammit! If I fire this thing again I'm going to lose my arm! I've got to escape and get help!'

The most obvious route to safety was the fire escape, but she seriously doubted that the thin metal railing would offer much protection from the heavy rifle that the monstrosity was carrying.

Making a quick decision in her mind, she tossed the jackal away before darting toward the cyborg, who was just starting to lift its rifle - one-handed this time, by necessity - back into firing position.

_Thwack!_ A sharp roundhouse knocked the rifle clean out of the cyborg's grasp, and sent it clattering against the wall of the alley, where it fell among some trash bags.

Mizu hesitated for a moment as she saw the weapon tumble to the cement floor of the alley. The handgun was useless to her - as apparently even Ranma's weapons were too much for feeble, normal human beings to handle - but the rifle?

She REALLY wanted these cybernetic bastards dead, but what chance did she really have against four of them? She didn't know anything about them other than the fact that they were obviously dangerous, partially mechanical, well-armed, and apparently weren't terribly concerned when having entire limbs blown off. She, on the other hand, had no armor, didn't have her usual weapons, was all alone, and her arm was now injured.

Soldier's intuition won out over her vengeful desires, and Mizu rolled away from the wounded cyborg just before it punched at her, a metal spike emerging from its knuckle at the last moment to stab into the air she previously occupied.

"That thing has a pile built into its arm? Where do these freaks COME from?" She groused as she got up and dashed to the wall, jumping up to grab the bottom rung of a secured fire escape.

The cyborg below glanced up at its target, and its limited programming ground to a halt as it tried to implement the best possible response.

After several seconds of delay, which Mizu had used to climb up the fire escape and then jump up to the next story, the cybernetic soldier turned and slowly moved to recover its rifle. 

Mizu grunted as she climbed up the last ladder, and then jumped up to grab hold of the edge of the roof before pulling herself up.

'I can scout out the other borgs from the roof, then find a way inside and get to a phone. I can call-'

For the umpteenth time that night, she felt her heart stop. Crouched on the opposite edge of the roof, silhouetted against the street lights, a man was hunched over some sort of trash heap, facing away from her.

A pigtailed man.

Before she could find her voice, the figure seemed to flicker and then vanish, like an illusion.

Her heart pounding within her chest, Mizu scrambled across the length of the roof on her hands and knees, not daring to call out Ranma's name for fear of attracting attention from whatever malevolent forces were apparently hunting her. Instead, she approached the mess that the figure had been hunched over.

It seemed to be the remains of one of the cyborgs, though that wasn't readily apparent; it was a hideous mess of torn-up flesh and machinery, with much of the machinery forcibly ripped out of the flesh it had been joined to.

She had no idea what Ranma would be doing with a mutilated cyborg corpse, but she didn't really care so long as she knew that he was alive enough to do it.

Something lodged in what appeared to be a skull split into three pieces attracted her attention, and she tenderly reached over the pool of blood and oil to pluck that particular chunk of gore from the pile.

It was a knife. Specifically, a Japanese kodachi with a very familiar emblem embossed in its steel handle.

Mizu felt her entire body go weak as the shock, grief, rage and terror pent up within her seeped out of her all at once, and she collapsed onto her knees, clutching the blade desperately. 'He's alive. Oh, thank the gods, he's alive...'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tch. Too slow," Alexandra mumbled critically. "They couldn't even kill the floozy."

"In all fairness, the woman obviously had a fair bit of military training," Yoshi reasoned, adjusting his glasses. "It's doubtful even a police officer would have reacted so effectively. Certainly Mister Saotome did not."

Yamiko simmered quietly as she stared at the screens, the gears turning in her head. Putting aside the "supercop" or whatever that man was, her cyborgs' performance against the girl highlighted some very embarrassing weaknesses in her design. She'd always considered warfare to be an exercise in metrics, covering as wide an area as possible with firepower, while planting as much solid metal between your soldiers and your enemies' weapons. Seeing her creation foiled by a single woman with a pistol (albeit a bizarrely powerful one) was quite galling.

'Hopefully they'll have a better showing in proper combat,' she thought.

A sudden signal from one of the cyborgs in the street caught her attention, and her eyes widened.

"What is this?!"

Yoshi and Alexandra turned their attention to the monitors, though both of them were far less surprised.

"Oh, it looks like Saotome's back," Yoshi said. "For the best, really. We didn't have an extraction plan for the surviving units anyway."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma's hand twitched irritably as he landed on the sidewalk across from the pair of cyborgs guarding the mutilated body of one of their own. His other hand clenched one of his mono-molecular edged kodachi tightly, reassured by the steely firmness and weight.

'I shouldn't have left the other blade behind... but I really don't want to deal with Mizu right now.'

He swayed lazily to one side as a heavy rifle round sailed through the spot his head had occupied.

No more stray thoughts assaulted his consciousness. No more conflict within his mind impaired his reflexes or burdened his decisions. For the first time that night, his rational mind and the strange, savage new instincts were in perfect alignment; they both wanted these strange new soldiers dead, and then wanted to hunt down whoever sent them and tear them apart. The savage instincts wanted to do a few things AFTER that that were unusual, creepy, and quite illegal, but in the heat of combat, Ranma didn't care.

Several more shots buzzed past as he slipped into the streets, moving in small bursts of intense speed before swaying drunkenly and altering his direction and momentum.

_Thwap!_ One shot managed to hit him, and he jerked backward as the bolt punched into his stomach and splattered blood and intestines onto the street below.

Ranma didn't even stumble, and darted forward again as the wound immediately started to shrink and seal itself. 

_Br-raap! Br-raap!_ With tenacity, determination, and courage born primarily from being non-sentient beings, the cyborgs continued firing upon the lone officer, their targeting systems stymied by Ranma's inconsistent movement.

_Snap!_ One cyborg stepped back as half of its rifle went flying up into the air, and then lowered the half that it had left as it gazed down at the pigtailed man who had stopped in front of it.

Ranma swayed uneasily from side to side, then ducked around the cybernetic soldier as it punched at him, stabbing his kodachi into its stomach and then dragging the knife behind him as he moved around his enemy before drawing it out in a long, thin wash of blood and oil.

The cyborg staggered backwards, and then fell over as Ranma kicked it from behind, its muscles losing strength as its fluid pressure dropped rapidly from the huge gash in its body.

The remaining cyborg fired another round, and again Ranma flinched back as the bullet ripped a hole in his arm that quickly began to seal.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is... impossible!" Yamiko declared frantically as she watched the monitors.

One screen showed a sidelong image of the scene from the perspective of the cyborg lying on the ground, and the picture started to become grainier as the unit started to lose power.

The other screen showed the other unit calmly and laboriously reloading his rifle as his target advanced on him, showing nearly the same level of carelessness.

The image shook slightly as the observers watched Ranma grab the cyborg's arm, and then it jerked backwards as Ranma impaled the cyborg in the shoulder before planting his foot against its chest and tearing the arm straight out of the socket.

"I think he's angry," Yoshi pointed out.

The image started shaking again as Ranma began smacking the severed limb against the cyborg's head, occasionally hopping to one side or ducking as the soldier did its best to counter-attack with its remaining arm.

"Well, this is just embarrassing now," Alexandra mumbled, crossing her arms under her breasts as Yamiko fumed silently.

Cracks began to appear in the camera as Ranma continued beating it, and Alex yawned as the screen began to flicker.

"Are we almost done here?" the buxom woman asked. "Today's been VERY busy, and I'd really like to get to bed eventually."

"We're far from done here," Yamiko said, her voice a near-growl.

A bizarre noise, distorted due to the damage to the receiver, came from the cracked monitor, and suddenly the image was further obscured, this time from having blood splattered all over the lens.

Yoshi made a show of rolling his eyes as Ranma appeared on another monitor that was connected to the cyborg that had chased Mizu. "Aren't we past the point where shooting him is a viable tactic? I really think we are."

"Well, what else are two semi-coherent, partially-dismembered automatons supposed to do? Wrestle him into submission?" Alex asked as a vein popped up on Yamiko's head.

The monitor representing the cyborg just joining the fray went snowy right after capturing a close-up of Ranma's fist, and then blacked out a moment later. Through the other monitors, the observers could see the pigtailed man wrench the head off of the cybernetic soldier, and then kick away the decapitated corpse.

"Yes, he's definitely angry," Yoshi said, nodding sagely.

"My, that's a lot of fluid," Alex remarked. "Is there some way of reducing the pressure? At least to keep it from spraying out like a broken fire hydrant?"

Yamiko's eyebrow twitched. "No. Not really."

Questions and commentary ceased as they watched Ranma and the damaged - but still mobile - cyborg approach each other slowly. Not that either one was being cautious of the other, as the cyborg was simply not designed to move very fast, and Ranma felt he didn't need to now that the enemy didn't have any more guns.

The cyborg attacked first, swinging its remaining arm at the pigtailed man.

Ranma simply caught the arm, and then grabbed the kodachi still stuck in the soldier with his free hand, tugging it free.

Then he slapped the cyborg's arm away and stabbed it with his blade again, though with the limited view of the battle, the observers couldn't tell where.

Of course, the precise point of penetration didn't seem important when Ranma wrenched his weapon free, and then immediately stabbed his enemy again.

And again.

And then three more times.

He took a moment to tear off the other arm to keep it from clumsily swiping at him, and then stabbed it again.

"So... why are we still watching this, again?" Alex asked.

"Well, for one thing, it's HILARIOUS," Yoshi noted, chuckling to himself.

Yamiko stared leadenly at the diagnostic screens, watching with a pained expression as the small outline of the cybernetic soldier rapidly turned red one body part at a time (save its arms, which were a solid black to indicate they had been removed).

Sigh. "You're right, of course," the Russian woman said, turning to Alex, "this test will not yield any more useful insights. The new units were not expected to win, and surely enough they did not."

The monitor belonging to the cyborg currently being assaulted began to flicker, and then went black. A glance at the only remaining feed, from the cyborg lying immobile on the ground, revealed that its companion had been knifed in the head and was even now crumpling to the street as arcs of electricity curled around its face and neck.

"Hmph. I wasn't expecting to have to deal with something like this, but since it obviously comes as no surprise to you two, I suppose the results are reasonable," Yamiko said, obviously distressed despite her words.

Alexandra was too busy staring down smugly at her to notice, but Yoshi raised an eyebrow as he watched the image through the remaining active monitor; Ranma was hunched over his recent kill and was carving into its abdomen with his blade.

'Hm? What is he doing? Searching the body for useful parts?' That explanation seemed terribly unlikely, both because Ranma was not technologically inclined, and because he was digging into the organic section of the body when the big chunks of metal and wires would have obviously been the better place to search for components. When Yoshi saw the martial artist take a big, bloody wad of carved flesh into his hands, he reflexively adjusted his glasses and squinted to try and get a better view of the poor-quality video.

"Computer, terminate all video feeds," Yamiko said, still facing Alex and not seeing the gory image right before it went black. "Log results and create a time bank. Period length thirty seconds." She lowered her voice slightly to speak to the other people in the room. "I'll add my notes and recommendations as necessary. Would you both like copies of the footage?"

"Hardly. Amusing as it was, I don't need to watch that disaster again," Alexandra scoffed, idly running a hand through her hair. "If you send me anything, send me a report on how you plan to improve future models of these units; I'll be extremely disappointed if this is the level of performance we can expect from them in the future."

The Russian woman took a calming breath to beat down her frustration. "Yes. Of course."

She then turned toward Yoshi. "Professor Konta? Do you have anything you'd like to add?"

The diminutive man didn't respond right away, and Yamiko raised an eyebrow. "Professor?"

"Uh?" Yoshi blinked in surprise as he suddenly snapped out of his daze, and then shook his head. "Oh. No, no, that's fine. Very good." He seemed disturbed for a moment, but rapidly shook it off. "Well, I should really go back to toying with the natural order of things for my own amusement. Good luck with your research," he said flippantly, turning away and walking out of the observation room. 'What the blazes was he **doing** back there? I think he was searching for something, or... no, no, it's probably nothing. I should get back to work.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morning found the officers of the DAPC pulling into the driveway in front of Kyle's house, their respective vehicles lining up neatly in front of the garage for the early-morning meeting.

It was the start of a new day, and though many of the officers were still tired from the previous day's missions, they had decided to meet after it was confirmed that Ranma was not back at home and had not contacted anyone.

When Mizu contacted Asuka and informed her of the unprovoked attack the previous night, as well as Ranma's subsequent disappearance, tensions peaked, and Mizu too was invited to come to the gathering that would hopefully shed some light on the current mystery.

Still, despite the confusion, apprehension, and general gravity of the situation, Asuka's first question was mostly unrelated to the conflict at hand.

"Why are we meeting at Tekai's house again? Shouldn't we be meeting at headquarters?"

Mizu raised an eyebrow as an uncomfortable silence descended. Surprisingly, it was Sakura who moved things along.

"Never mind that! Seras, you found something, right?" the blonde said frantically, almost sweating from the nervousness. "You wouldn't call us here unless you had some sort of news!"

Seras nodded stoically, though he said nothing as he walked to the front of the living room.

Stopping at the front, he took out a small, glimmering bottle of some foreign alcohol, and sipped it tenderly as a man none of the others remembered walked in from the garage and rapidly set up a presentation tripod and a projector.

Asuka frowned deeply, wondering how much the wretched doctor had drunk already during his research. Certainly the man was infinitely more competent when sober, but the last thing she needed when she was injured and apparently facing a personnel crisis was to try to fend off Seras' diabolical urges.

_Ahem!_ Seras coughed into his fist, and slowly replaced the cap on his liquor bottle before dabbing at his lips elegantly with a cloth napkin.

Then he stepped to the side of the projector, raised a remote control, and pressed the button.

_Click!_ "This... is your brain," he said bluntly as an image of the human brain - free from any unnatural coloration or other stylized distortions from its natural appearance - appeared on the screen.

"Oooooh..." went Kyle, immediately entranced.

_Click!_ "This... is your brain on T-virus," said Seras as the image changed.

"Ewwww..." went Kyle, immediately disgusted.

He wasn't the only one. The second picture showed an organ that had been twisted and maligned in every possible way. Grotesque-looking growths bulged all about, thick, slimy tendrils emerged from strange, rotten pits of gray matter and dug horribly into other parts of the brain. Most of the frontal lobe was gone, having apparently rotted away and left the surface a repulsive carpet of bubbling sores.

Sakura went deathly pale, but hung onto consciousness and her breakfast. "That... That's not what happened to Ranma, is it?"

"WHAT?!?!" Both Mizu and Asuka whirled on her.

"What are you talking about? Why would you ask that?"

"Saotome was exposed to T-virus? When did this happen? He was fine when I left!"

Neither of the women had been told about the cockroaches or that Ranma had been bitten (or at least, Mizu made no effort to recall that Ranma had mentioned something like that the previous night), only that he had left the station feeling ill.

"Calm down," Seras mumbled, immediately silencing the two frantic women. "While it's true that Saotome was exposed to the T-virus, it's safe to say that his brain isn't anything like this." His eyes narrowed. "I just thought I'd open with a little refresher on how dangerous this organism is, since it didn't seem to get through the first few times."

"Yeah, okay, fine. We get it," Snake snapped. "Now stop sidetracking and get to the point, here!"

"In order to properly understand what's happened to Saotome, one must understand a few things about the virus, and about how it affects human beings. OTHER human beings, anyway," Seras mumbled. "Although the primary feature of the T-virus is its ability to turn the infected into zombies, as a virus, it still has to combat the body's natural immune system, primarily the body's white blood cells tasked with eliminating foreign organisms. The virus has little ability to defeat other bodily defenses, which is why the virus is only effectively transferred through direct injection to the bloodstream. To do this, its outer protein layer is composed of a unique chemical that acts as a necrotic poison to kill living cells on contact. Combined with the virus's ability to reproduce within recently dead cells instead of only living ones, this allows even a few T-virus organisms to run rampant within the body. Less than a hundred organisms can kill just about any human being on the planet." He shook his head for a moment. "Also, I estimate that the... wound inflicted upon Saotome transferred several thousand organisms directly into his bloodstream."

Asuka's expression hardened. "BUT..."

The drunk smirked. "But Saotome's hardier than all that. Observe."

_Click!_ The image on the display changed to show a cartoon of Tiro, chibi-style, wearing a martial arts gi and stretching as if he was preparing for a match.

"Hey, it's me!" Tiro said, feeling equal parts curiosity and dread at seeing his image used in this explanation.

"Yes. I used a blood sample taken from Yamazaki to be used as the control group for this experiment," Seras explained.

The lecher frowned. "When did you get that?"

"Four months ago, when you all underwent mandatory drug testing."

Asuka looked somewhat surprised. "And you kept the samples for something like this?"

"No, I got wasted and forgot to do the testing," Seras admitted, "so I just filled out everyone's forms saying they were clean and went home early. Except for Tycho, who I claimed was on the smack. As a joke. But anyway-"

"HEY!! Why did you choose me?" The driver demanded angrily.

"I think the more important question is why they didn't bother with any disciplinary action," Asuka deadpanned.

Junko rolled her eyes. "Would you if you were in their place?" Asuka sighed wearily in response.

"People, people, we're getting sidetracked here," Seras chided. "Let's continue. This is a graphical representation of Tiro's white blood cells when attempting to combat the T-virus organism. Observe." He pushed the button on his remote.

The animation began, and the chibi-Tiro continued doing stretches until a small, spider-like creature skittered into the scene from the side.

_Ah ha! Intruder detected! The animation shouted, posing heroically as tears streamed down its cheeks. Foul creature! Taste the burning justice of my-_

The animation's monologue stopped as the virus crawled up and jabbed it sharply with a leg.

Then the chibi-Tiro turned deathly pale before slowly teetering over and collapsing in a heap.

Its opponent defeated, the virus clambered up onto the chibi-Tiro before clamping firmly onto his head with its legs.

"Ewwwww!"

"Wh-What the hell is it doing?! It's violating my face! Why is it doing that?"

"Tuko, your presentations are gross."

Eventually the virus completed its sordid task, and then slowly faded away, its materials spent.

A few seconds later, Chibi-Tiro began to swell horribly, and then his chest opened up to allow dozens of new viruses to scramble out, no doubt to search for new prey.

_Click!_ Seras turned toward his audience, noting with some satisfaction that a good half of them looked sick to their stomachs.

Putting aside Kyle, anyway. He had fallen asleep when Seras had been explaining the T-virus and showed no signs of waking.

"All right, then. Now we turn to Saotome. Here's the representation of what occurred when I did the same experiment with his blood." _Click!_

The image changed to show a very similar picture as before, save that instead of a chibi-Tiro, it was a chibi-Ranma who was stretching in preparation for combat.

"It's common knowledge that a good physical condition enhances one's immune system. In Saotome's case, this aspect too has been taken far beyond the schema of what is considered physically possible."

As expected, the spider-like virus appeared from the side of the film, and the chibi-Ranma stared at it.

_What the hell is THAT supposed to be? Who animated this thing, a third-grader?_

Seras blinked. "Huh... I... don't remember adding that dialogue..."

Yamma snickered briefly from behind the tripod. "You were probably drunk."

"Ah, good point."

As before, the virus crawled up to the white blood cell, and just like before, raised a single leg and poked the defending organism.

Chibi-Ranma raised an eyebrow. And then he raised a foot.

_STOMP!_ The audience winced as the virus was crushed into a gooey mess, and the Chibi-Ranma promptly began scraping gunk off the sole of his foot.

_Click!_

Junko blinked repeatedly. "So... does this mean that Ranma's more of a man than Tiro on a **cellular level**?"

"Hey!"

"Yes, that's pretty much the gist of it," Seras explained. "Saotome's immune system is simply too strong for the virus to take hold in his body easily."

"Whoa, wait, hold on," Mizu said angrily. "That's all? 'It's okay, he's immune, no problem'? No way it's that simple."

"Yeah. Putting aside the fact that it doesn't explain why he's disappeared and everything, if you really made us sit through this just to tell us that, we're going to have to beat you again," Snake warned.

"You are correct, of course," Seras admitted. "That's not all I have to reveal here. There's a lot more to this."

He took a deep breath. "Saotome should have been able to shrug off the T-virus from the... observed infection easily; a few thousand viruses is nothing to him. However, from the blood sample I took from his jacket, it seemed that he had absorbed a much heavier dose of T-virus toxins earlier. I can't say exactly how it happened, of course, but I would expect that it has something to do with his frequent handling of the biohazard containment unit today."

Asuka nodded sharply as the tension began to rise again.

"Needless to say, the concentration of T-virus organisms in that solution is astronomical. A little bit of fluid in the body, even if it wasn't injected directly into the bloodstream, would flood his immune system with BILLIONS of hostile organisms. Faced with such a threat, an enhanced immune system wouldn't stand a chance. So his body... adapted."

"Adapted HOW?" Asuka asked, tapping a finger against her cast impatiently.

"I'm glad you asked. Let's watch!" Smiling, Seras pushed the button on his remote again, and another animation started up.

This one featured Chibi-Ranma once more, except that this time he was panicking and running away from a swarm of viruses while firing small blue ki blasts behind him into the attacking throng.

Sweating heavily, the chibi-Ranma glanced around desperately for something to help him, and then a lightbulb suddenly appeared over his head.

Grabbing one virus out of the swarm, he then dashed to safety. Along the way he crushed the organism in his hand into paste before putting it into his mouth and swallowing.

Mizu sweatdropped. "Only a Ranma cell would think of an idea like that." Asuka nodded mutely.

The chibi-Ranma began twitching, and then fell to his knees, as if in agony.

And then, all of a sudden, he jumped to his feet, his eyes wide and small sparkles surrounding him.

Everyone but Seras sweatdropped heavily as the "invincibility star" theme music from Mario Bros. played in the background, and Chibi-Ranma suddenly ran straight into the swarm of viruses, plowing through them with ease.

Once the "1-up" sounds started, Asuka had had enough. "All right, already! We get the point! Now explain what the hell we're looking at, here!"

_Click!_ Seras moved to the next image, which showed a rather complex, biological shape. "When Ranma's immune system was overwhelmed, his cells responded by using the T-virus itself. By consuming the DNA core of the T-virus, the white blood cells were able to tap into its mutagenic capabilities and use them to their advantage, modifying themselves appropriately. His fever was the result of this mutation and his body's attempts to contain it. Ranma's bloodstream is now populated extensively by a new form of cellular immunity defenses. I've dubbed them the 'R-virus' for obvious reasons."

Mizu raised an eyebrow. "But... aren't they modified white blood cells, and not viruses?"

"Moving on," Seras continued, "the R-virus is generations beyond common white blood cells in strength and efficiency. They reproduce by themselves without the aid of T-cells, they're much better at identifying hostile organisms, and they can eliminate threats without nearly as much physical distress to the infected tissue. If a normal immune system can be likened to a bodily militia, then these guys are commandos."

Asuka nodded slowly. "Okay... so you're effectively saying that Ranma's body created a defense against the T-virus. Is that it?"

"No, that's not it. Though it's worth noting that these cells can theoretically be transplanted. Meaning that we now have the only sure-fire cure for a T-virus infection. At least that _I_ know about." Seras shrugged. "But on that note, either because the R-virus was made from absorbed T-virus DNA or because it mutated specifically to deal with that virus, when I observed its effects on the T-virus it reacted differently than when it attacked ordinary viruses."

_Click!_ The next slide showed a much smaller organism that resembled the T-viruses from the animations, but had extra limbs and was slightly swollen.

"The R-virus doesn't destroy all T-virus organisms. Many of them it 'turns'. It injects a corruptive DNA code into them - similar to what viruses do to normal cells - which rewrites their physical structure and behavioral patterns. I call these altered T-viruses 'hypercells'."

"What, no 'H-virus'?" Mizu mumbled.

Seras ignored her. "Hypercells are friendly organisms. Extremely friendly, actually. While their primary purpose is to help purge the body of T-virus, after that they will expend themselves repairing, protecting, and in every way optimizing the body they inhabit. They don't even reproduce; they literally work themselves to death. During this time, the body becomes much faster, stronger, and more responsive. They help ordinary cells reproduce at a phenomenal rate, healing wounds almost instantly, and replace long-term, aging cells that cannot normally regenerate, to the point of completely replenishing entire organs."

"Okay, this **almost** made sense for a second there," Mizu mumbled, rubbing her head. "So Ranma's not only become immune to T-virus, but he's become some sort of superhuman?"

"Well, putting aside the fact that he was ALWAYS some sort of superhuman as far as I know, yes. I did a preliminary experiment with a few lab rats I keep in reserve for when I need to kill things in the name of science. First I injected one with the last of the R-virus samples I had, and then I injected a dose of T-virus that should have killed the rat in minutes. As rats' brains aren't sophisticated enough to be reactivated by the T-virus, it seemed like a safe test."

"And what were the results?" Asuka asked, looking rather fascinated.

"Within ten minutes, the rat had regrown its stunted tail, grown out some malformed teeth properly, and its skin and fur became thick and lustrous. Before I finally decided to get some sleep, it had run the bolts on its hamster wheel smooth and broken the damn thing."

Junko looked tense. "I know I'm not usually the pessimistic type, but all this good news is making me worried. Is there a downside to all this?"

Seras chewed on his lip for a moment. "Well... yes. Though that may depend on what you'd consider a 'downside,' really..."

"Explain," Asuka deadpanned.

"Well, there were... other changes in the rat that I used," Seras mumbled, scratching his head.

"What kind of changes? Spit it out, man!" Snake demanded. Given what he had seen of the T-virus's effects on insects, he was not at all optimistic about the matter.

"The hypercells activate a number of glands within the brain and modify their chemical content to provide what is effectively a chemical high. The effects are drug-like, and have the potential for side-effects and addiction. Besides that... well... it was a bit strange. While I was asleep, the rat ripped apart its cage and then forced its way into the other rats' cages. I did a few short tests before I got here, and apparently every female lab rat I have is now pregnant. Despite the test rat being sterilized, yet!"

"..." Stunned silence dominated the room, broken only by Kyle's snoring.

'Well... that explains a few things,' Mizu thought, flushing badly.

'Wait... so if he's out missing right now...' Asuka thought, twitching.

'Uh... this is NOT good,' Sakura thought, gulping.

'Hmmm... I might need extra protection then,' Junko thought, smiling.

"And... well, that's not all," Seras admitted. "What's even stranger is that all the male rats had been killed... and partially eaten."

"..." The silence this time was absolute as Kyle's head rolled to the side, ending his snores.

"Is... Is it... **normal** for rats to engage in cannibalism?" Tycho finally managed to ask.

"Well, it's not exactly rare, but no, it's not normal. Especially when the rats are healthy and well-fed, as this one was. Rats are scavengers, and don't kill for food or compete for territory or mates."

"Are you saying that Ranma's running around eating people?" Snake asked bluntly.

Seras shook his head. "Of course not. A rat doesn't benefit from human reasoning capabilities, morals, or the constraints of civilization. From what Kotetsu has told us, Ranma maintained his faculties despite the infection. What I AM saying is that the hypercells tend to supercharge parts of the brain that the T-virus activates during its normal infection cycle. And the end result seems to be a surge of testosterone and a streak of extremely basic, primal behavior."

"Okay, okay, fine. Whatever. As long as he hasn't gone completely berserk, this is okay," Asuka said, massaging her forehead. "Bottom-line it for me, Tuko. Is this all going to blow over, and if so, when?"

"I'm afraid not," Seras said, sighing deeply. "The really bad news is that the R-virus has become unstable due to its rapid rate of mutation. It won't be long before it loses its inherent genetic programming to protect Ranma's body." He looked especially grim as he stared at the increasingly nervous-looking officers. "Within four hours, the R-virus will be out of control, turning into an entirely new breed of biological superweapon. And within six hours, Saotome will die, and then rise again as the most vicious, powerful, and insatiable zombie any of you will ever have the misfortune to encounter."

As the others gaped in disbelief, their hearts still, Sakura leapt to her feet, tears already pouring down her cheeks. "NO! You're wrong! It's not true! It's not!"

Seras chuckled. "Yeah, you're right. I was just messin' with ya. He'll be fine."

_THWOCK!!_

Mizu nodded appreciatively as she watched blood start to pool under Seras' body, courtesy of the chair that had been shattered over his head. "That was a pretty good throw for just one arm."

Asuka flexed her good arm as she glared down at Seras. "Thanks. I've been practicing specifically for something like this."

Snake started sweating slightly, and quickly began chanting in Hebrew under his breath. 'Please God, don't let her find out about the HQ before the work crews get there. PLEASE.'

"Okay, fine, so Ranma's in tip-top shape... and possibly a cannibal," Junko said. "Great. So where IS he?"

Mizu shook her head. "I don't know... when I called over some backup we searched the area and found the remains of all four cyborgs that attacked, but we couldn't find any trace of him."

"What about the cyborgs?" Asuka asked, drumming her fingers on her cast again.

Mizu scowled as she thought of the cybernetic soldiers that had assaulted her the previous night. 'Goddamn tin men! If it weren't for them Ranma would have been all over me! Imagine! A boosted libido, extreme testosterone levels, and that **endurance**! Why, if we'd made it back, he would have probably lasted-'

"Kotetsu!"Asuka shouted, snapping the woman out of her thoughts.

"R-Right! Sorry!" The Core soldier said, flushing as she wiped some drool off of her chin. "We haven't studied the pieces yet, but a cursory look didn't reveal any markings that would give away where they came from. Still, it isn't that hard to make an educated guess."

Asuka nodded. "Of course. We can expect to see cobras and barbed wire etched into them next time."

"But why would they send four defective rust-buckets after Saotome?" Snake mumbled. "They know who he is. They have a decent idea of what he's capable of. If they couldn't even gun down Kotetsu before she escaped, what chance did they have?"

The police captain shook her head. "The Angels are constantly throwing resources haphazardly into battle without thinking about it. I don't think that's the issue here. We have to focus on finding Ranma for now."

"Well, where do we start?" Tiro mumbled, obviously annoyed.

Snake smirked slightly as he rubbed his chin. "Well... think about it. Saotome's been reduced to a relentless killing machine, possibly with a hunger for human flesh and a T-virus addiction. The last place he was found was fighting a bunch of FA soldiers. Ergo, his next move would most likely be to hunt down the bad guys that tried to kill him and his girl, butcher them, and then devour their bloody remains."

Tiro winced. "So... wait, I'm confused. Are we sure he's a cannibal now?"

"Not really, but given that it must be the most bizarre, unlikely thing that could possibly happen, it's a safe bet," Junko said, shrugging.

"... And... WHY don't you seem at all uncomfortable about this?" The lecher asked weakly.

The redhead smiled. "Because apparently he's an ultra-stud playboy cannibal!"

"He still eats people!"

"Well, like I said, we don't know that for **sure**... besides, nobody's perfect."

"I'd smack you upside the head Chikiko, but it would seem that we really don't need any more sex-crazed psychotics," Asuka deadpanned.

A light bulb suddenly appeared over Snake's head, and he began to smile.

Luckily, Asuka didn't notice, otherwise she would never have uttered the next words that came out of her mouth. "Snake, I want you to organize a search. Choose two people to maintain ordinary patrols and response duties, but finding Saotome is currently our top priority. Understood?"

Snake nodded happily.

"Good. Now I'm going back home to rest; I shouldn't have to be doing this sort of thing after what I went through yesterday."

Tycho snorted. "Oh, please. You didn't even have to deal with all the-"

_Whap! Thock! Thump!_

Asuka sweatdropped as she watched Snake, Tiro, and Junko jump onto the DAPC driver and start beating him into the carpet. "Ah... right. Anyway, I'll be going now."

Mizu nodded as the bluette left, and placed a bundle on the coffee table. "I have a patrol rotation today, so I can't stick around... if you find Ranma, here are his weapons that he left behind. Please... make sure he's okay."

Sakura nodded mutely as the raven-haired woman turned away and walked out, her throat tightening as she considered what must have taken place the previous night.

Still, whatever had gone on between Mizu and Ranma, the more important issue was that Ranma was missing and struggling with a strange new chemical reaction. She could work out her feelings about Ranma's social life later.

Kyle snorted as he suddenly woke up, and then shook his head to clear it.

The blond man took a moment to yawn laboriously, and then slowly turned to look at his living room.

Seras was lying in a pool of drying blood, with a tall, lanky man he didn't recognize slowly administering first aid to him. Tycho was in the middle of the room, not bleeding yet, but unconscious.

"So... did we decide on what to do about Ranma?"

Snake finished dusting off his hands as Junko gave Tiro gave Tycho one last kick in the stomach, and then grinned. "Well, while I figure that he's hunting down terrorists, it's not exactly easy for us to run out and track him that way. It's not like we have a long list of Angel strongholds to raid. So we're going to have to hunt him down another way."

Junko raised an eyebrow. "How would we do that?"

The American pointed behind her. "Turn around and you'll find out."

Junko promptly turned, and then frowned as she stared at Seras' film projector. "So, what, we're going to project a huge message on the side of a building and hope he sees it?"

"Nope," Snake said as he hoisted his chair up over his head. _WHACK!_

"Gah! What are you doing?" Sakura demanded, immediately backing up from the body twitching weakly on the floor.

"I'm enlisting Japan's most powerful man-hunter," Snake said matter-of-factly as he dusted his hands off.

Kyle scratched his head. "Well, that's fine, but how is she supposed to actually find him?"

Snake just shrugged. "I dunno. And we'll never find out if she won't STOP TRYING TO TAKE OFF MY PANTS ALREADY!" The American shouted, kicking Akina off of him.

The redhead pouted as she stood up, idly rubbing the bump on her head. "Man, you guys are no fun at all. Every time I wake up, it's just 'Akina, stop taking off my clothes,' 'Akina, put your panties back on,' 'No Akina, I was talking about my ACTUAL gun.'"

"Fascinating. Now shut up," Snake deadpanned. "We woke you up so that you could perform a difficult, thankless task for us, not hump my leg."

Akina's pout turned into a frown. While she found it interesting that Ranma consciously resisted her lust aura, it frustrated her that Snake didn't seem to respond to it at all. 'Ugh. Why is it only the losers around here that have a sex drive?'

The redhead crossed her arms under her breasts. "And WHY should I bother doing this 'difficult, thankless task', exactly?"

"Because it involves tracking down Ranma," Snake said simply.

Akina hesitated. "... And... And then what?"

Snake shrugged. "That's not really any of my business, now is it?"

Akina beamed and shook her head. "I'm your girl!"

"Hey! Wait! I'm totally opposed to this!" Sakura growled, slamming her hands down on the table.

"Tekai, please, can we put the mission before your little schoolgirl crush? Just this **once**?" Snake asked, rubbing his head.

"Th-That's not it!" The blonde insisted, flushing badly. "Snake, you don't ever think before you act! Don't any of you see any problems with just cutting Akina loose in the city and hoping she can somehow magically track down Ranma?"

"Hmmm..." Snake frowned as he considered the question.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Inside Snake's head)

"Hee hee hee! This'll teach you idiots to mess with me!"

Akina giggled pleasantly as she stood over a pile of groaning men, some of whom were bleeding from rather severe cuts and abrasians.

_Cough!_ "But... lady... urgh... what did... what did we do?" One man gasped out as he tried to push himself to his feet.

He needn't have bothered, as Akina promptly picked him up by his neck and raised him into the air, scowling.

"Moron! Just look around you!" The redhead shouted, pointing to the ground where several smoldering cigarette butts were scattered over the sidewalk. "Not only do you and your disgusting friends pollute my breathing space with your toxic paper sticks, but then you have the nerve to leave your poisonous trash on the ground?! DIE!!"

"AAAAAAAAAIEEEEEE!!!"

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"Ummmm..." Tiro rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

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(Inside Tiro's head)

"Huh..." Akina blinked as she looked down the street, looking quite unsure of herself.

"Something wrong?" Tiro asked, noting that he and the psycho/nymphomaniac had gotten conveniently separated from the rest of the active officers.

"Well, it didn't really occur to me before, but I really DON'T have any way of tracking Ranma down," Akina said, chuckling nervously.

Tiro sweatdropped. "So you're completely lost, then?"

"Yup. Not a clue, here."

The lecherous officer sighed, and then leaned against the squad car. "Oh well. Wanna go make out?"

"Sure!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Huhhh..." Kyle scratched his head.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Inside Kyle's head)

"I like tacos!" Kyle declared, holding the tasty Mexican dish above his head as ocean waves crashed all around him dramatically.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All three conscious men in the room turned toward Sakura. "Nope."

Akina smirked at the blonde's obvious frustration. "Girl, you have to learn to know your place around here now that I'm going to be showing up from time to time! When I'm around, Ranma belongs to **me**!"

"Ha! Like he'd have anything to do with a freak like you!" Sakura growled back at her, and the two women glared as a spark of electricity flashed between them.

Their heated staring contest ended when Snake suddenly put a hand on each of their shoulders, holding them tightly.

"Now girls," he began gently, "I know that this is a tense situation, and that there's a lot at stake. I get that. I also realize that it's not always easy for women to put their personal feelings aside for the sake of accomplishing something that actually matters. I mean, sure, Captain Takami seems to be able to focus past her stupid little dramas for the purposes of saving lives, but clearly it's too much to ask of the rest of you."

Akina yawned briefly as Sakura's face darkened. "Were you going somewhere with this?"

"I **also** realize that, because you're both girls, and not explicitly evil, it would be wrong to force you to cooperate by hitting, shooting, or otherwise harming you, even though I can - and often do - get away with doing that to men," Snake explained, nodding to himself. "So I offer you two this: you two shut up and work on finding Ranma without whining, innuendo, or fighting about what might happen afterwards, or I'll light Tycho on fire."

Sakura sweatdropped as Akina blinked.

"Wait... and that's supposed to be a deterrent?" The redhead asked, confused.

Snake crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you really want a comrade's death on your hands just so you can continue your idiotic little catfight?"

Akina frowned. "His death? You're really going to kill him? You're bluf-" her sentence trailed off as she watched Snake produce a bottle of lighter fluid from behind his back.

"What was that? I'm what, now? Bluffing? Did you claim I'm bluffing?" The American asked, popping off the cap and then holding the bottle upright over Tycho's comatose form.

"Okay! Okay! I'll stop!" Sakura cried. "Please! Put the bottle away!"

Akina scratched her head, and then glanced behind her at Kyle and Tiro.

The former was holding a household fire extinguisher in one hand, and a collection of insurance paperwork in the other. Tiro, meanwhile, was rifling through a first aid kit while mumbling about burn tonic.

She turned back toward Snake. "You know, I may be a ruthless psychotic, but you're just sick."

"All that I've done, I've done for my people!" Snake said dramatically. "And occasionally for my own amusement." He pushed the cap back into the fluid bottle. "Now, if we can put all this baseless jealousy behind us and get to the task at hand..."

The weapons expert unwrapped the bundle that Mizu had left behind and then held it up in front of Akina. "Here's some of his stuff. See if you can pick up something you can trace back to him."

Tiro sweatdropped as Akina took Ranma's pistol and observed it closely. "What is she, a bloodhound?"

"What? Of course not. That's just stupid," Kyle pointed out.

"That's what I was implying, of course," Tiro shot back, poking the blond man in the side. "She can't track his scent or anything like that, so how is she supposed to find him?"

Akina snorted and lowered the Jackal before smirking. "Well, I AM a psychic. Divination is just one of my MANY talents..."

Snake opened up the bottle of lighter fluid again. "If you turn that into a sex joke, I swear, Wattai's a goner."

The redhead pouted. "Really. No fun at all..." she sighed as she tucked the pistol under the waistband of her pants. "Just follow me. I'll track him down in no time!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And new unit are complete? Ready for testing after only twenty-four hour?" Igov asked, rubbing his chin with his smaller, more human-like hand.

The technician at the control station shrugged. "We don't really have a testing procedure developed beyond a standard systems diagnostic. Doctor Nova evidently wanted to change the designs, but told us to continue production. We're slated to have eight more units ready tomorrow."

The Russian nodded pleasantly. "Is excellent rate of progress. Are implants that easy to install?"

"Not really, no. Most of the cyborgs we have currently are units that Nova built and brought with her when she arrived. She needs our technology to activate and control them, though." The technician typed away for a few more seconds before continuing. "We have a construction apparatus in the works that will help speed along the implant procedure, but it's still a rather laborious, if not surprisingly inexpensive procedure..."

Igov nodded again, and then clasped his hands together behind his back. "Prepare five unit for combat operations and then key to Igov mobile control node."

"Sir? You're going to conduct another operation so soon?" The man asked quizzically, "and with only five units?"

"Igov wish to see if there is way to compensate for weaknesses isolated in previous test," the general explained. "Is not problem?"

"Oh, no, it's not a problem, it's just that-" The technician stopped talking as a small red light started beeping. "What? Hey..."

A crackling noise heralded an emergency transmission, and both men started in surprise.

_Send help! Send help fast! This is the main securi-GAH!_

Igov raised an eyebrow as the technician hit a button on his console. "Hello? This is the control center, please respond! What's happening?!"

Static dominated the line, and the man at the controls went into a flurry, his fingers dancing across the keyboard.

Igov frowned as the gears turned in his head (no pun intended). He was currently checking on production in one of Wraith's larger facilities in the Tokyo industrial complex. The attacking party couldn't be a standard police force, as they would have approached unarmed with a warrant to search the facility, and it probably wasn't Core's main force, as the Freedom's Angels made a point of knowing when the city's most powerful military organization was planning a major operation.

Of course, it could have been Core's black ops branch, but why would commandos attack a laboratory with almost no fortifications right through the security gates?

_Ugh..._ Igov and the technician snapped to attention as they heard someone speaking into the radio again. _Please... hurry... got 'im in the leg or something... it's unreal... it managed to jump away, but Yakana is dead and-GWAAAAUGH!_

"Hello? Security, please respond!" The tech shouted, hitting a few more keys on his console.

The display on the monitor suddenly turned snowy, and the technician cursed. "The camera's down already! Damn it!"

"Can you access recording from here?" Igov asked, clearly keeping his cool despite the commotion.

"No. The security system still uses an old VHS recorder that's stashed in the lobby maintenance closet," the man mumbled. It was perhaps unusual for a high-tech company like Wraith to use such old technology, but then, this facility had other, more lethal defenses to deal with determined infiltrators.

"Hmph. Igov will deal with this personally," the Russian said, flexing his fingers. "Activate all cyborgs and consolidate on second level."

"Right away, General!"

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Ranma massaged his head as he stared at the carnage that surrounded him, his face expressionless.

'This... is not good,' he decided to himself as he looked at the blood dripping from his sleeve.

For some reason, the pigtailed man wasn't feeling nearly as enthusiastic about this assault as he was just a few minutes ago. Since the fight with the cyborgs, he had felt as if he was floating on air; even getting shot multiple times hadn't bothered him as he gleefully ripped the cybernetic soldiers apart. And every time he had bitten off a chunk of tough, tangy cyborg flesh, the feeling got stronger, pushing him onward to find fresh enemies and butcher them.

By now, however, the feeling was fading fast, and Ranma was quickly becoming confused, exhausted, and not a little disturbed. He was not a killer by nature, much less a cannibal, and the memories of what he had done frightened him once he stopped to think about it.

'This isn't right... what the hell am I even DOING here? Where is here?' While he could remember his actions over the past twenty or so hours, it was almost as if they were the actions of another person, and couldn't fathom what he was thinking at the time.

As for where he was, he was currently in some sort of office lobby currently decorated by dozens of bloody streaks all over the floors and walls. Corpses laying in pools of blood littered the ground, still clutching the rifles that very few had gotten the chance to use before they had met their end.

Ranma gulped as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. At the very least, he could be sure he didn't kill any innocents in his bizarre hyped-up state; all the men he had killed had been armed, which was quite illegal for individuals not working for the government, so it was all but certain that the security personnel were terrorists.

Even so, it was a small comfort. The pigtailed man shuddered and looked toward the exit.

_Clunk! Clunk!_

Wincing at the noise, Ranma decided to hide for now; he had already barged into a terrorist lab and massacred their defenses, so he reasoned that he might be able to destroy something valuable before he escaped. Like a mutant spawning tank, or a T-virus tank.

Oddly enough, he felt some of his energy return at the thought of finding more of the toxic retrovirus. Strange. 

_Vhrrrr..._ The reinforced security door separating the main lobby from the entrance to the research facilities opened softly, and Igov briefly glanced about at the carnage.

'Hmmm... these men weren't enhanced, but they were trained. To have such a poor showing against our attackers...' Well, it didn't bode that well for him, really. He debated waiting for his reinforcements.

There was only one group he could think of besides Core that would have both the reason and the gall to assault a Wraith facility directly, but upon first glance it didn't fit the DAPC's usual pattern. If this was a frontal assault, where were his opponents? If it was a covert infiltration, why cause all the ruckus?

Then again, not making sense was also, to some degree, part of the DAPC's pattern.

A slight, sudden noise came from his right, and he turned slowly toward a cabinet that had collapsed and was currently lying on one of the dead guards.

Activating his thermal scanners, Igov stomped toward the broken piece of furniture, seeing a small, but detectable heat source within.

"There is no escape from the Red Death," the Russian intoned, stabbing his right hand down into the back of the cabinet.

"HSSSSSS!"

Igov blinked as he pulled his hand out, clutching a strange, worm-like creature with dozens of oversized, jagged teeth. "Eh? What this?"

"SHSSS!" The thing responded by biting into his arm, which didn't do much besides tear up his coat sleeve.

Sweatdropping, Igov slowly increased the pressure in his hand as the creature started to writhe and screech even more.

_Squick!_ He snorted as the creature's body eventually popped, spilling horrible-smelling yellow fluids on his hands that dribbled to the floor. "Hmph. This waste of Igov time."

"Mouko takabisha."

_BWOOM!_ The cyborg's eyes widened as a tremendous force crashed into his back, and grunted savagely as he was blasted off his feet and into the steel wall of the lobby. _WHAM!_

Ranma winced as he felt his strength seep out of him from launching the ki blast. He was nearing his physical boundaries, and he knew it. His body had been through too much and he needed rest.

A scraping noise brought his attention back to his opponent, and he grimaced as he watched Igov push himself from the wall, his back smoldering, but intact.

"Heh heh heh heh..." the Russian chuckled as he turned around, and his right hand sizzled as arcs of electricity curled around it. "So it is you, then. Igov surprised."

"Yup. It's me. Surprise," Ranma deadpanned, already making plans in his head. He really wasn't sure how strong Igov was, but that ki blast had struck him at point-blank when he was totally unprepared, which spoke volumes about his resilience. Combined with the fact that Ranma was tired and had only a third of his normal armament, this fight was looking bad from the start.

Smirking, the cyborg general shifted his head from side to side, eliciting a dull grinding noise from the parts involved in the motion. "Last time we face off, we were... interrupted. Igov look forward to seeing what you are capable of."

_GZAK!_ With that, his hand suddenly exploded in a maelstrom of electricity, the glove burning off in seconds to reveal smooth, gleaming metal laden with circuits and blue energy nodes.

Then, suddenly, the Russian looked uncertain. "... On that note... is other man here? One that lay bombs?"

"Who, Snake?" Ranma asked, blinking. "Nope. He's not here."

"Ah. Is good," Igov mumbled uneasily.

Ranma nodded. "Actually, yeah, I agree with you. It's good for both of us," he agreed. "Oh! Speaking of which: Bye!"

Turning around, Ranma was quite dismayed to see a pair of blast doors closing even as he dashed toward the exit.

_Clang!_ "Dammit!" The pigtailed man cursed, slamming a fist on the thick, reinforced armor as he reached it. "Armored doors? You're kidding me!"

Igov smirked as he slowly advanced through the lobby. "Wraith security is not best, but has strong points."

Ranma started bigsweating as he searched for a way out. "But... why didn't you close them BEFORE I got in and killed everybody?"

"Time for conversation has passed!" Igov snapped, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of that earlier. "Now you die!"

Cyborgs taken off-line: 4  
Terrorists killed: 16  
Terrorists killed and THEN eaten: 3  
Major rebuilding contracts negotiated with local construction companies: 1

End Chapter 26


	27. Burnout

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

I gotta tell ya, these last few chapters have been really surprising me with some of the responses. Who knew people felt so strongly about cannibalism? It's the eco-friendly approach to murder, people!

Guardian  
Chapter 27  
Burnout

**********************************************************************************

"Ha ha ha! What's the matter, freak? Are you done for already?"

In the middle of a Tokyo city playground, a pair of girls lay on the ground, surrounded by a trio of teenage boys. One was a young teenage girl with shoulder-length purple hair, while the other one was younger, with short red hair and a pair of short horns poking up out of her head.

The biggest of the boys stepped forward and grabbed the purple-haired girl by the back of her shirt as she tried to flinch away.

"You're not going anywhere, witch!" He said, grinning as he hauled the terrified girl up to her feet. "Whatsa matter? If I hurt you, can't you just magically heal yourself or whatever? HA!"

With a feral sneer, the boy pulled his fist back, ready to strike.

"HOLD IT!"

The entire group whirled around, and then their eyes widened as they saw who had spoken. "IT'S SNAKE!"

The American nodded, his expression grim. "Kids, let's stop and think about this situation for a moment. Sure, I know that it feels good to hurt weirdoes like them, but you can't just beat up people for being different!"

The kids looked at each other, confused. "We can't?"

"Of course not! It's dangerously unsafe! Countless teenage brats have met a bloody and somewhat undeserved death picking on individuals who turn out to be insanely powerful freaks of nature," Snake explained, wagging his finger as the girls' faces darkened. "The SAFE approach to spiting people for having strange powers or physical traits is to shun them completely, excluding them from the social environment and starving them of human warmth. It provides the same sense of self-righteous superiority, but fosters a strong desire for friendship rather than revenge in the victim! Which can be a pretty handy plot device, at times."

"Wow... I never thought of it like that," one of the boys said, turning to his friends.

"You're right! Thanks, Snake!" Another said.

The leader nodded happily. "Now we know!"

Snake gave the boys a thumbs-up. "And knowing is half the battle!"

The boys turned away from the girls, giving them disdainful stares. "Come on, guys! Let's do something awesome by ourselves!"

"Yeah, who wants to kick around freaks with horns anyway?"

"I was getting bored beating up girls, anyway. Let's go find some nerds and hurt them, instead!"

Snake looked proud as he watched the boys run off, and then suddenly turned toward the confused and irritated girls as they stood up. "By the way, I don't suppose either of you have some sort of bizarre psychic power that can be used to track down this guy I'm looking for, do you?"

The girls remained silent, glaring up at the American.

Snake rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, forget it. Sheesh. Weird AND useless." Without further comment, he walked off toward the street, hands in his pockets.

The American cop whistled to himself as he passed by a coffee shop, and then halted.

"Hmmm..." glancing at his watch briefly, he clicked his tongue. "It has been almost ten minutes."

Without any further conversation with himself, Snake turned around and entered the coffee shop.

"Hello, sir! How can I help you today?" Said the girl at the counter, smiling with her hands clasped in front of her. A slight twitch in her eye indicated that she was annoyed by something, though, and Snake shook his head as he walked past the counter and stepped through the "Employees only" door.

"What? Sir! You're not allowed back there!" The cashier said suddenly, stepping out and chasing after him.

Snake stopped in front of the supply closet where the supplies were kept, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Sir! You have to leave, now! Only employees are allowed back here!" The girl insisted. "You're a policeman, right? You need a warrant to search this place, don't you?"

"Oh, calm down," Snake deadpanned, drawing his pistol and causing the girl to freeze up in shock at the sight of the weapon.

Then the American aimed it at the door lock and fired.

_Clangk!_ The sound of tearing metal shrieked through the small hallway before Snake pushed through the door.

"Eep!" Lying on the floor of the supply closet was a young man currently wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that he was rapidly pulling up into the proper position. He possessed other clothes, to be certain, but they were scattered haphazardly around the closet.

Leaning over him, and looking at Snake with considerable confusion and annoyance, was Akina, topless but otherwise clothed. "Soooooo... what? Did you want to get in on this?" The redhead asked.

Snake wordlessly picked up Junko's bra and uniform top from where it had been tossed onto a box of biscotti, and then threw the articles on top of Akina's head.

"Hey! What are you doing?" The psychic complained.

"That's my line!" The American growled. "We have things to do! You can't be running off and... well, just hurry up and get dressed! We're leaving!"

The girl, who was already flushing badly, turned away from the scene. "S-Sorry. I tried to stop him..."

As Akina pouted and started putting on her brassiere, the man mustered up some courage and stood up, an indignant expression on his face. "Hey now, who the hell do you think you are? You can't barge into a restricted area like this and start barking orders! What gives you the right?"

Snake raised an eyebrow. Then he raised his .45 caliber sidearm. "I have a gun. You don't."

The man flinched back. "Uh... w-well..."

"Get back on the clock already," Snake snapped, holstering his weapon. "You need to be preparing people's coffee, and WE need to be preserving the peace from the forces of evil and/or corruption. MOVE IT!"

The man nodded rapidly in fear, grabbing his uniform and pulling on his clothes much faster than Akina was managing, even though she had less to put on. In a matter of seconds he burst out of the closet, racing for the front of the shop and away from Snake.

"You didn't need to be so mean about it," Akina griped as she followed Snake out of the back exit of the shop. "I mean, do you really care what I do with other guys?"

Snake glared back at her, annoyed. "I care what you're NOT doing with OUR guys. As in rescuing. And in this case, Saotome."

"I took you to the general area!" Akina insisted. "He's around here, I'm sure of it!"

"Yeah, that's great," Snake growled. "Except that we still haven't found him in this 'general area,' and we have no way of knowing if he leaves if you go back to your slightly-more-useless alter ego. So keep your clothes on, all right?"

"It's not all right," Akina said, grinding her teeth. "Why do I have to take orders from you?"

The American sighed. "Fine. We'll just find Ranma ourselves. Me, Wattai, and Sakura."

Akina's eye twitched slightly.

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see us. I'm sure he thinks of most of us as weak and unreliable, so he can appreciate something like that. He's not sensitive, but he has a sentimental side to him. Of course, he might wonder where the rest of us are while he was in trouble. The captain, with her injuries... Kyle, with patrol... you, with... well..."

"Okay! Okay, I get it!" The redhead snapped. "But it's like I said: I can't track him any closer! I feel that he's around here, but I can't pinpoint him."

"Why is that, again?"

Akina frowned as the pair walked down the street. "I'm not tracking him based on any sense or instinct I can explain. I just... **know** he's around here. And when that feeling sort of peters out, I have nothing left to go on."

"And what makes you sure, or even makes you **think** that these 'feelings' are accurate?" Snake asked skeptically.

Akina shrugged. "Because it's the same feelings that let me do this." In demonstration, she reached out toward a lamp post and flicked it.

_CLANG!_ The entire pole bent over as a huge dent appeared where her finger struck, leaving the entire object trembling mightily.

"Huh. Well, it's a start." Turning away, Snake pulled out a walkie-talkie. "How we doing, guys? Found any clues yet?"

_Not a thing. If Saotome really has turned into a man-eating freak of nature, then at least he's subtle about it._

"Hey, watch it Wattai," Snake warned. "This is a compatriot we're talking about. Save your judgments for when we find him and sort everything out."

_Yeah, yeah, I hear ya... So... remind me again why I get stuck with the whiny blonde and YOU get to go with the oversexed redhead?_

Snake took a moment to slap away Akina's arm as she started rubbing up against him. "Because we need to stay focused on the mission and not our bathing suit areas, all right? I know you're too stupid to take even something like this seriously, but this objective is important!"

_I still think we're worrying over nothing. What could possibly be out there that could kill Ranma?_

* * *

_BAKOOM!!_

"Gah!" Ranma was tossed aside as an RPG round detonated behind him, having hesitated too long before his dodge.

The pigtailed man rolled with the force as well as he could, stopping when he hit the wall on the flat side of a T intersection in the hallway.

Standing up shakily, but quickly, he surveyed the three routes open to him.

"Reload and stand by," Igov told a large cyborg as the cybernetic soldier lowered its RPG launcher, "Igov will cripple the prey."

Ranma turned away from the route he had come, gritting his teeth as he glanced behind him.

"There he is! Activate the security drones!" A scientist shouted as he ran away from the police officer. A younger lab assistant slammed a fist against a console on the wall, and a pair of robotic guns immediately fell out of the ceiling.

"Not much of a choice at all," Ranma mumbled as he darted down the hall the other way, barely avoiding a storm of bullets from Igov's Gatling gun-arm.

_Beep! Intruder detected! This is a beta-level security breach! All personnel are advised to enter the nearest secure area and barricade all entrances and exits until the threat has been neutralized. WARNING! Releasing automated defense safeties 2-7!_

Ranma saw a pair of red laser dots appear on the walls in front of him as the gun drones behind him calibrated their aiming systems, and he barreled into the nearest lab room to avoid the inevitable rain of bullets as the drones caught sight of their target.

_Crash!_ The door slid across the floor as the pigtailed man staggered forward, panting heavily.

_Vrrr... Whrrr... Click!_ Three cyborgs all slowly turned their heads (which were in various states of assembly, and still attached to nearby computer consoles) toward the intruder.

"Seriously, they need to change the name of this place to, like... Suck Laboratories or something. This is just ridiculous," Ranma said, rubbing his head wearily.

_New secondary directive uploaded._ One of the cyborgs buzzed mechanically, its hand reaching for a pistol on the desk next to it. _Formulating response._

* * *

"I don't know what to tell you; I don't feel anything out of the ordinary," Akina said, looking almost painfully bored. "Can we PLEASE make out or something? I'm starting to get depressed, here."

"Depressed? Our friend is out there having his mind worked over by a deadly mutant super-virus and is being targeted by armed cyborgs. You want to whine to me about depression?" Snake snapped, poking his head into an alleyway and quickly looking over the interior.

Akina winced. "It's not like that! Look, it has to do with my powers, all right? Following you around, I'm getting nothing but anger and... well, I guess I would describe it as... 'bloodlust'?"

"Sounds about right. What's yer point?"

"My point is that it's too much!" Akina shouted, shuddering to herself. "It's like... psychic pollution, you know? If I take it in, then I start to lose myself and go crazy. But if I resist for too long without anything to compensate, holding the emotions back starts to get painful. And after that..."

Snake stopped, and then glanced at her. "After that...?"

The redhead sweatdropped. "Well... I don't know, really. I've never been around someone like you before. But when my powers start straining themselves to hold back a psyche I don't like, it never ends well."

Snake muttered something nasty under his breath, and then started massaging his forehead. "Fine. FINE! What can I do to shut you up for another half hour?"

Akina nodded gratefully. "A kiss. That's all. Then I'm back in the game. Promise."

"A kiss," Snake deadpanned.

"A REAL kiss. No cheek or forehead nonsense," the redhead warned. "I just need a little jolt of affection to keep me from going insane from being around you. Then we can find Ranma."

Snake sighed and placed a hand on Akina's shoulder. "Chikiko..."

_Chak!_

The redhead twitched in annoyance as the barrel of Snake's sidearm pressed up against her cheek.

"Chikiko, quit whining and do your job. Now. That is an order." The American said, glaring down at her.

"What the hell is your problem, anyway?" Junko growled.

"I'll tell you what **isn't** my problem! Your sad little explosive-migraine-causing sex addiction!"

"It's just a little kiss! Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"I'm not the captain around here! I don't get paid to put up with your crap!"

"You suck!"

As the argument grew more heated, and just as Akina's psychic temperament reached a catastrophic boiling point, Snake's walkie-talkie came to life.

_Snake, it's Asuka. Have you found anything yet?_

The American immediately turned away from Akina, holstering his weapon as he took up his communicator. "Nothing so far. Chikiko insists that he's in the area, though."

_Okay, well, this might interest you. I was doing a search through police alerts at home, and found that a police report was filed in the last hour or so in regards to a disturbance around a local industrial lab. The description wasn't very helpful, but the report said that immediately afterwards, the lab called up the police to warn them away from the area, claiming it was a hazardous accident and that the officers could be at risk if they headed in before it was cleaned up._

"Huh... sounds like it could be legit, but it's worth checking out," Snake reasoned. "Where's this place?"

_On Third and Yozuka. It's the Neijwitz Robotics facility; they're a private company that does contract research._

Snake raised an eyebrow as he turned around. "Research for who?"

_That information isn't easily available, but if I see any red flags, I'll let you know._

The American smiled. "Awesome. Thanks Captain, we're on our way." Then he frowned, and Snake hesitated as he glanced over at Akina, who was leaning against the wall and generally looking miserable.

Akina blinked as Snake turned away from her, and quickly whispered something into his walkie-talkie. Then he nodded, and approached her before holding the device out to her.

"Uh? What is it now?" The psychic asked.

_Ah, Akina, you are there. I'm surprised that Snake actually managed to come up with a workable solution that doesn't involve burning anything down._

"Eh, it's still early," Snake mumbled, shrugging.

_Listen, I know that we've only recently met, and we didn't exactly get off to a great start. Between all the killing, jealous anger, NON-jealous anger, and having guns frequently shoved in your face, it must be pretty frustrating. Believe me, I know how this group can be._

Akina blinked repeatedly. "T-Takami?"

_Honestly, I'm much better at bossing people around than playing cheerleader, but circumstances haven't been normal around here. So until such time that I can take charge again, I want to thank you for your help. It can't be easy, especially not with a dolt like Snake in command. And I know that Saotome will be thankful, too. Please... I need you to come through for him._

Akina stuttered for a moment, unsure of how to respond; aside from her lack of social etiquette, the psychic nymphomaniac had always shunned responsibility of any sort, keeping herself free of obligations and denying consequences whenever possible. The idea that people actually **needed** her seemed strange and bizarre.

Trembling somewhat, Akina swallowed and snapped her hand up into a salute, straightening instinctively.

"She can't see that over the walkie-talkie, idiot," Snake deadpanned, sweatdropping.

"I know that!" Akina shouted, her face reddening. "It was just for mood, okay?" Clearing her throat quickly she turned back to the walkie talkie. "Takami... uh... C-Captain Takami, I'll do my best! For you and Ranma!"

Snake snorted and pulled his communicator back to him. "Thanks Captain. Over and out."

Placing his walkie-talkie back onto his belt, Snake took a deep breath, and then stepped up to Akina.

Then, before the redhead fully understood what was happening, Snake took her by the shoulder and leaned in for a forceful, yet somehow still very reluctant kiss.

Akina was thoroughly surprised, but wasted no time, grabbing onto the weapon's expert and pushing forward, returning the gesture with a hundredfold more feeling and passion.

After a mere two seconds, Snake pried his lips away, and separated himself forcefully from the psychic. "THERE. Is your little headache gone, now?"

Akina licked her lips for a moment, then sighed. Pleasant as it was for her, Akina's emotions hadn't synced with Snake's in the slightest. The effect was akin to sipping from a canteen in the middle of a desert: ultimately refreshing, but still a minor and temporary reprieve from the problem at hand. "You didn't feel a damn thing just now, did you?"

"That's not true," Snake countered, "I think I died a little inside."

"Don't be melodramatic. Let's just find that lab."

* * *

_Clang! Clang!_ Igov's footsteps fell heavily upon the steel floor that protected the halls of the research facility, being followed by the gentler rumble of a T-1 defense robot following behind.

The general stopped at a doorway and reached for the knob before he threw the door open without stepping in front of the doorway.

The armored robot moved past as Igov pressed his back against the wall, its enormous frame covering half again the width of the doorway (to say nothing of the gatling guns attached to its arms).

After a moment of no responses coming from the room, the T-1 robot's sensor visor started to glow.

_Visual scans, negative. Thermal scan, negative. Sonic scan... results are within allowable range. Area secure._

Igov nodded and stepped forward, his own scanners searching the width of the hallway judiciously as he continued the hunt.

Back in the dimly-lit room, Ranma gasped painfully as he rolled out from under a workbench, stopping flat on his back. It had taken a few tries to figure out everything the damn robots were doing to track him down, but after a few experiments (which resulted in only two not-quite-debilitating bullet wounds), he had figured it out.

Of course, keeping invisible with the Umi sen-ken while simultaneously staying cold with the soul of ice WHILE holding one's breath and stalling one's heartbeat was painfully exhausting on one's best day. As it was, Ranma was just about spent.

"I really hope they don't check back here any time soon," the martial artist mumbled as he stood up slowly.

The first order of business was to observe his surroundings; he had been in such a rush to find safety that he really had no idea where he was going, and hadn't searched the room for anything useful save a decent hiding spot.

'Hopefully they'll have something I can use to pry the bullets out of my arm,' Ranma groused mentally, looking over the workbench. It was covered in manuals and notebooks, most of them in some weird foreign language that he was unable to properly identify as Russian.

Turning around, he saw that the wall opposite the hallway had a large glass tube installed in it that reached from floor to ceiling, with numerous wires, tubes, and peripherals sticking into it.

Floating inside the tube was a cyborg. Or rather, an incomplete cyborg, Ranma guessed. The rather muscular man that had been used as a base looked to be mostly intact, with only a few decent-sized bullet holes in his chest marring his body. Although the body had a few metal bits and cybernetic devices built around his arms and one leg, the corpse was still largely flesh.

Although interesting, Ranma couldn't really see any way for him to use a dead, unfinished enemy soldier, and moved on.

Next to the tube was something that sent a tingle down Ranma's spine... and not necessarily an unpleasant one. Sitting next to the tube, mounted into a large computer display, was a small cylinder of a familiar, viscous green fluid.

Ranma immediately found himself reaching for the cylinder, and he stopped. 'Wait... what am I gonna do with a beaker of T-virus? Drink it?'

Honestly, the idea appealed to him a great deal, though he couldn't fathom why.

'That's stupid. The lack of sleep must be getting to me. I mean, I don't even really know if that IS T-virus.'

Looking at the computer display, Ranma noted that it seemed to give rather stable readings and diagnostic data about the body in the tube, though he obviously wasn't able to make heads or tails of what he was seeing.

Ranma also noted that immediately under the viral container was a large red button clearly marked "Do not push".

A few sweatdrops appeared on Ranma's head. "But... why would they put a button here if no one's supposed to push it? That makes no sense!"

_Poof!_

Ranma turned his head to see a chibi verson of Snake lounging on his shoulder, polishing a shotgun.

"Unless..." the chibi-Snake began, smirking, "we're SUPPOSED to push it, but they don't want intruders to know that!"

_Poof!_

Ranma turned his head toward his other shoulder, where a chibi version of Rayden Shikodan stood at attention, smoke pouring from a cigarette in the crook of his mouth. He, too, was polishing a shotgun, Ranma noted.

"That is nonsense," the chibi-Rayden mumbled. "No one would design a device such as this with the expectation that intruders would break in and need to be misdirected."

Chibi-Snake snorted and stood up. "Oh, yeah, because you know SO MUCH about evil laboratory design!"

"It is less a matter of designs and more a matter of common sense," the Russian apparition insisted, nodding solemnly. "Putting aside why they installed such a device, the only plausible reason for that inscription is to keep the workers in this facility from pressing it."

Ranma turned back toward chibi-Snake. "He's got a point, you know."

Chibi-Snake fumed for a moment, and then poked Ranma in the cheek. "Just push it, you pansy! I'll bet it does something awesome!"

Chibi-Rayden rolled his eyes. "What could it possibly do that would not make this situation worse?"

"Like... uh..." the chibi-Snake rubbed his chin for a moment. "I'll bet it makes PIE."

_Wham!_ Before any further discourse between his hallucinations could take place, Ranma's fist slammed into the button, very nearly knocking the entire machine over.

Chibi-Rayden twitched. "You disgust me." _Poof!_ He vanished in a blast of smoke, half of which stunk fiercely of tobacco products.

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Shlup!_ The panel at the front of the console started to flicker annoyingly and make erratic noises as half of the T-virus in the cylinder above was suddenly sucked out of its container.

Ranma blinked as the tube containing the cyborg trembled slightly, and a low hum came from above as the viral agent was pumped into the liquids that preserved the dead body.

Ranma blinked again, and then stared at the computer readouts, which had started going berserk. "You know, it's weird. I really don't think I'm going to get pie out of this thing. But for some reason that wasn't obvious at all a few seconds ago."

"Uhm... yeah. That's a bummer," chibi-Snake said, bigsweating as he watched the cyborg corpse twitch slightly. "Well, that's enough insightful advice for today! See you soon!" _Poof!_

Ranma glared at the shoulder where the miniature American used to be. "You know, looking back, this actually explains a LOT about my life."

_Crack! Crick!_ The glass tube started to split as the creature within fully awakened, and immediately started banging fiercely on its prison with its mechanically reinforced hand. _CRASH!_

"I was promised pie!" Ranma shouted defiantly as the cyborg tackled him to the ground.

Immediately, Ranma drew his remaining blade and shoved it deep into the cyborg's neck, hoping to finish the creature quickly and without any more noise that could alert Igov.

The cyborg let out a snarling wheeze at the attack, but barely hesitated before it bit deeply into Ranma's neck.

"GAAUGH!!" Ranma screamed at the pain as he felt the creature's teeth sink through to his jugular, and summoning the last of his strength, the pigtailed man twisted and pulled on his wakizashi blade, beheading the monstrosity in a savage, desperate last-ditch effort.

_Thwump!_ The cyborg's body immediately went limp, falling atop Ranma and leaking foul-smelling fluids onto the policeman's chest.

Ranma allowed this arrangement while several minutes passed, his hand clamped tightly over the wound in his neck. The entire time he tried his best to focus through the pain to listen for the sound of heavy footfalls - evidence that his brief mistake had been noticed.

After a few more minutes, however, he grew bored and tossed the body off of him before springing to his feet.

"Hey... waitaminute..." Ranma blinked as he recalled being pushed to the brink of unconsciousness just minutes ago as the last of his energy flooded out of the ragged wound on his neck. "That's weird... I feel pretty good right now."

Realizing that the wound no longer hurt, Ranma rubbed at his neck slightly with the hand that was putting pressure on it, and was justifiably surprised to feel fresh, healthy skin there.

"Sweet! I don't know what's going on, but..." Ranma once again glanced at the vial of T-virus in the machine behind him, and then grinned before he walked up and ripped the tube out of the device, tearing several power cords out and prompting a brief shower of sparks.

Without showing any of the hesitation he had displayed before, Ranma twisted off one end of the cylinder and then gulped down the viral toxins within.

After he had swallowed most of it, Ranma lowered the tube and licked his lips. "Needs garlic." He then stuck his finger in the tube and rubbed the vile slime off onto his finger before drawing it out and licking it clean.

After a cursory inspection to see if he could easily get any more of the viral solution out, Ranma tossed the cylinder over his shoulder behind him and rubbed his hands together.

"Well, I have no idea what that was all about, but I think it's time I got out of here!" he decided, a slight blue aura surrounding him.

Smiling brightly, the pigtailed man started toward the door, but then hesitated as he glanced at the headless cyborg corpse on the floor.

Ranma stopped and stared.

"......... Nah, I'm in a hurry," he said finally, walking up to the door and rearing back a foot.

_WHAM!_

* * *

"Reroute power to level two and three. Ensure that sensor relay have priority when power re-activate," Igov mumbled as he pressed a hand to his optical peripheral, giving commands to the security computer.

Pulling his hand away, the Russian snorted irritably as he stared at the empty storeroom, the supply crates within all battered and broken in the search for Igov's quarry.

"It figure that this one slippery as well as strong. Igov must hurry, or quarry will escape." Turning around, he nodded at the two lesser cyborgs that waited at the supply room entrance, and they gave the general an empty, dead look before turning into to the corridor and stomping away listlessly.

"New soldiers are... useful, but is not same," Igov sighed. "Still, frailty of men is persisting problem. These creations may yet have place in Igov's ranks."

A crackling noise alerted him to an incoming radio transmission, and Igov tapped the side of his head again. "This is General Yutchzky. Report."

_General, we've moved to clean up the lab entrance, but there's something wrong. We found a police cruiser parked on the street outside!_

Igov frowned as he turned around and started walking down the corridor. "Is not unusual for police to investigate such disturbance. Until officers demand access to premises, continue job."

_General... it's the DAPC._

Igov spat a quick curse in Russian. Ordinary police officers could be misdirected, stalled, or even fought without too much trouble if things went that badly, but the DAPC was far too reckless and dangerous to be left unattended.

The question was: what to do? He could always have lab workers go out and try to convince them to turn back, but Igov really doubted that the esteemed and terrifying protectors of the peace would be so easily deflected.

Besides, after chasing one of their number through four floors of his own lab facility, Igov REALLY wanted to kill something.

"Hold position. Igov will resolve problem," the Russian said grimly, stepping into the stairwell leading to the next floor. "Is there further sign of enemy yet?"

Several seconds of silence followed until he spoke again.

"This is Igov. Report. Is that all?" Igov requested again.

_Hey, is this thing on?_ Came a new voice. _Hello? Anyone there?_

"Who speaks?" Igov demanded. "What happen to cleanup squad?"

_Yo! This is Snake, from the Department of Abnormal Phenomenae Containment. Just stoppin' by to see if any major catastrophes have happened._

"Catastrophe? Such as what?" The Russian asked as he reached the next set of stairs and started climbing further.

_Oh, I dunno. Seems like a lot of stuff could happen around-hey! Chikiko, cut it out! No! Just tie him up, you don't have to strip him too! Put those pants back on! Yes, yours too!_

Igov raised an eyebrow at the sudden disturbance, and his brow furrowed once he heard a frustrated growl at the other end of the line of communication.

_Okay, I'm gonna level with you: I don't think this lab is legit, and I'm going in to find out for myself. Unless you'd like to answer some questions for me here and now, that is. If I get some good answers, maybe I'll have better things to do than search some geek tank from top to bottom, right?_

"Is this way of police in Tokyo now? Restrain innocent worker without cause and ransack random lab facility without warrant? And people call Japanese polite," Igov spat, biding for time as he caught up with a few more of his cyborgs.

The other end was silent for a few moments before the voice came back, sounding amused. _Okay, fair enough. Would you please inform me of all the activities within this facility, Sir?_

"Is not of your business," Igov snapped. "More pressing issue is violation of property and employee."

_And more pressing than that is you telling me where my buddy Saotome is._

"No one by that name is here."

_How 'bout a big metal guy by the name of Igov Yutchzky?_

The general snorted. "Is not Japanese name, no?"

_Obviously. And while we're on the topic of obvious things, that's a pretty thick Ruskie accent you got there, pal._

"Do you have legal right to search lab, or not?" Igov asked, reaching the final flight of stairs and gesturing to one of the T-1 interior defense droids that was barring the way out. It promptly swiveled about on its large, triangular tread base and scraped the wall closely enough that the cyborgs could get by.

_How about you come up here and we'll discuss the extent of my "legal right"._

"You will find nothing here, officer. You have simply stumbled upon industrial accident, and your presence has put all others at risk due to your reckless actions. Unless you can come up with evidence to warrant intrusion, Igov have to ask you to leave premises."

There was a tense moment as both sides took a moment to go over what Igov had just said.

_Clang!_ Igov smacked himself in the head and spat a nasty expletive in Russian.

_Seriously. Learn real Japanese, metal-head. Snake over and out._

Igov scowled and turned toward his companion cyborgs. "Stay on guard! Enemy will be prepared!"

The cyborgs stared back at him blankly, a series of hissing noises coming from several of the soldiers whose lungs had been replaced with mechanical equivalents.

"Igov misses real army," the Russian mumbled bitterly, stalking up to the blast doors sealing off the main lobby and slamming his gatling gun-arm onto the switch.

As the door opened into the lobby, Igov looked about for any apparent enemies.

Seeing nothing, he focused his cybernetic eye as the cyborgs filed in behind him. "Beginning proximity scan... wait-"

The Russian halted his scan as someone leapt past the doorway opposite the lab entrance too quickly for any of the soldiers to react.

"Never mind. The enemy is taunting us," Igov growled.

Then he aimed his gun arm at the wall where the figure had leapt into cover. "In war, a wise commander never lets enemy set pace of battle. One must control where and how foe is engaged."

_Shunk!_ The gatling gun split in half and widened slightly, opening up a tube in the middle.

"All soldiers, prepare to advance on Igov mark."

_Pop!_ With a tepid puff of steam, a small, metal, egg-shaped projectile burst out of the cannon before sailing across the lobby in a lazy arc and striking the wall opposite Igov's squad.

_BWOOM!!_ The concussion grenade promptly demolished the wall, and a short scream issued briefly from behind the barrier before it was silenced by chunks of concrete and heavy rebar.

Igov gestured forward with his right hand. "Confirm target elimination. Squad beta, secure area."

A raspy creaking noise came from one of the cyborgs as it stomped forward, swinging its bolt rifle from side to side as it advanced.

Igov quickly reconfigured his cybernetic eye to show him the feed from the lead cyborg, and the Russian grinned with anticipation as the cybernetic soldier grabbed hold of a large, flat piece of wall and pulled it up to look underneath.

Igov's smile evaporated. Beneath the rubble lay one of the technicians that he had sent to secure the front entrance and start the clean-up. The man was tied up and gagged, and was now bleeding profusely as well; he estimated that the man wouldn't live much longer without immediate medical attention.

"Damnation! Show yourself, coward!" The Russian shouted, his gatling gun snapping closed as the engine started.

"Didn't you just say not to let the enemy make decisions for you? Sounds like good advice, ya know?" Mumbled Snake's voice from the open closet on the side of the lobby.

A moment later, a pair of fragmentation grenades bounced out of the hidden sanctuary, rolling to a stop at the feet of the cyborg soldiers as they slowly turned to face the new threat.

_Thwoom! Boom!_ Igov stepped through the detonations as his soldiers were staggered by the blasts, the pieces of shrapnel tearing through his coat and clothing only to bounce uselessly off his dermal armor.

"How long do you suppose you can hide from me?" Igov asked, his gatling gun starting to spin as he aimed at the partially open door to the closet.

"How long do **you** suppose I had to set bombs while you took your sweet time getting here?" _Beep!_

Igov quickly crossed his arms over his face, deactivating his weapon as he braced himself for the explosion.

Snake, in the meantime, rapidly pocketed the useless detonator - Igov had actually arrived rather quickly, and he had been busy dealing with their hostages - and dashed out of the closet, snapping off a shotgun blast at a nearby cyborg before diving behind the pile of rubble that Igov had created with his grenade.

Igov knew he had been tricked the moment he heard the shotgun retort, and quickly started his gatling gun up again as one of his soldiers slowly teetered backward, its head a mess of blood and shredded metal.

"Fire! Fire at will! Eliminate target!" _Braa-aah-aah-aah-aah!_

Snake hugged the ground as concrete and dust rained down over him, courtesy of the hail of gunfire that rapidly started shredding the debris apart. "Chikiko! If you want to help out, now would be a REALLY good time!"

Igov snarled and threw his free arm forward as he pulled up his gun-arm, coolant gases hissing from the engine. "Attack at once! Flush him out!"

_Directive accepted. Beginning assault._ The lesser cyborgs all began stomping forward, their rifles at the ready.

_Schlunk!_

Igov blinked at the sound of metal being pierced behind him, and turned around in time to see one of his soldiers collapse onto its knees.

_Critical damage sustained. Fluid pressure falling. System fail...ure... immi...nent..._

The moment Igov turned, he saw a vaguely familiar red-headed woman wrenching a combat knife from the cyborg's back, eliciting a brief burst of oily fluids from the doomed soldier.

"It does not matter how many of you there are," Igov snarled, raising his gun at the woman, "Igov will crush you all!" _Braa-aah-aah-aah-aah!_

Akina's body turned into a blur as she launched herself to one side, dashing across the length of the room faster than the Russian could track.

"Heeyah!" Once she was relatively clear of the gatling gun, Akina leapt toward Igov, stabbing her knife toward his throat for what she was hoping was an easy kill.

_Clangk!_ She was thoroughly disappointed as the blade of her knife hit a shell of metal, bouncing off without ill effect. Even her kinetic boost hadn't enabled her to puncture Igov's armor.

The Russian responded instantly, grabbing Akin'a left arm with his right as she pushed away his gatling gun.

"Hey now, not so rough, 'kay?" Akina said brightly, expanding her psychic field toward Igov to try and slow him down. "I know you big boys are-" _Thonk!_

The seductress was cut off sharply as Igov headbutted her in the forehead, which struck with such force that she was sent tumbling across the floor before she crashed heavily into the opposite wall.

"Damn! Ow, ow, ow!" Akina complained, holding her head in agony. Even with her telekinetic field deflecting most of the force from Igov's attack, her skull had been rattled severely.

Igov immediately aimed his gatling gun while she was still stunned, but found that the only thing to come from the weapon was a harsh, grinding noise. A cursory glance revealed the reason why; at some point Akina had jammed one of her combat knives into the motivator, preventing the barrels from spinning. With little more than a grimace, Igov's right hand retracted as a pair of crackling electric talons emerged from his wrist.

_BLAM!!_ A cyborg staggered to its knees as Snake blasted its knee out, and then the American smashed the butt of his shotgun into its faceplate, causing the mechanical minion to keel backwards over the debris and knock over one of its compatriots. "Chikiko, I'm serious! Stop playing around and pull off some freaky psychic stuff before we're overrun!"

"It's not that easy! YIPE!" Akina dove behind the main desk of the lab as one of the cyborgs snapped off a rifle shot at her, and she ducked her head down as a lightning bolt flashed overhead, scorching the wall. "I'm in trouble here!"

"You're the superhuman, not me!" Snake growled as he suddenly sprinted out from behind the pile of rubble, ducking behind the guard shack stationed in front of the main entrance.

_Enemy unit falling back. Beggining pursuit. Assemble Lambda formation._ The cyborg in the lead droned from behind the steel grill that used to be a human jaw. His compatriots spreading out behind him, the soldier spearheading the formation stepped up onto the pile of debris Snake had previously been using as cover, climbing up the concrete and metal and then dropping carelessly over onto the other side.

_Beep!_ Naturally, the proximity mine tucked into the cracks of a wad of rebar objected to such haphazard terrain navigation, and promptly made its displeasure known. _BWOOM!!_

Igov snarled as he watched the debris pile burst apart, knocking over those cyborgs that were too far away to be blasted aside by the explosion itself. "Igov not lose here," the Russian snapped, turning toward the desk where Akina was hiding out and smashing his Tesla claw through the feeble barrier.

"Hey! Ouch! Watch it!" The psychic complained as Igov grabbed her roughly by the shoulder. "You rusty eunich, I'm gonna-"

_GZACK!_ The redhead yelped as a surge of electricity paralyzed her, rendering her stunned once more. "You will die, wench," Igov snapped. "But not alone."

The Russian general turned toward the entrance to the facility, holding up Akina in his grasp. "Surrender at once, fool! You have no chance winning!"

Snake grit his teeth as he peeked around the guard kiosk. Several of the cyborgs knocked over by his proximity mine were now standing up, and Igov clearly had Akina at his mercy. "Some invincible psychic warrior she turned out to be," he mumbled irritably.

"Igov give you chance to surrender!" The Russian shouted. "Drop weapons by count of three, or woman dies!"

"We don't negotiate with terrorists!" Snake shouted back, looking about for anything flammable he could use to boost the power of his explosives.

"If that is case, then you need only sit and await execution," Igov said. "Three."

Snake growled in frustration once he verified that there was no surrounding terrain he could use to his immediate advantage. 'Why isn't this lab full of explosive barrels like the video games, anyway? Do they have so little fuel that they can't afford to leave drums of it sitting out in the open where it can get damaged? Yeesh.'

"Two," Igov said, ignoring a weak cough from his hostage.

'What am I gonna do? I know I'm not supposed to just let Akina die, but I know that I won't be doing any good by surrendering! Damn it all! Somebody do something!'

"One," Igov said, grinning dangerously.

_CLANG!_ The cyborg's arm was suddenly struck hard from behind, and Akina fell to the floor as the object that had struck Igov clattered to the ground at his feet.

Igov blinked. It was the faceplate of a T-1 defense robot, conspicuously separate from the rest of the machine. "What is meaning of-"

_BWOOM!_ The Russian was blown off of his feet as a ki bolt slammed into him from behind, and the other cyborg's turned around as Igov skidded across the floor.

_Warning! Class beta power source detected! Engage!_

Akina raised her head groggily, and was about to mumbled a question when she suddenly found herself lifted off of her feet and into the air. "Whoa! Wh-Wha's going on?"

A familiar voice came from above as she was held closely against a torn and blood-splattered jacket. "Oh, nothing much. Just saving my friends from the clutches of crazed terrorist killing machines. You know, a regular Tuesday," Ranma said, grinning as he landed in the middle of the room and then leapt toward the hole in the wall.

"Get him!" Igov snarled as he climbed to his feet. "Do not let them escape!"

Akina blinked slowly as she heard gunfire nearby, and then blinked again as she saw a round blow through Ranma's arm, splashing blood and bits of gore onto her legs. "Hey, ya okay?" She asked groggily, noting that the pigtailed man hadn't slowed down much at all as he dashed past the kiosk Snake was hiding behind.

"Just a flesh wound," Ranma mumbled as he landed behind the piles of rubble scattered around the outer perimeter of the lab. "Well, mostly flesh. Little bit of bone, too. I'll be fine." Then he turned his head behind him. "Snake, is that you? What are you guys doing here, anyway?"

"We're here to rescue YOU, jackass!" Snake growled as he dashed away from the kiosk, rifle fire tearing the small shack to shreds behind him.

"Are you serious?" Ranma asked, moving again as Snake caught up to him. "Figures you can't even rescue me without me around to rescue you."

"Rescue HER, you mean," Snake snapped as they rounded the gate to the perimeter fence and ran for the street. "Apparently Miss Crazy Sex Addict doesn't do too hot against these new cyborg schmucks."

Said crazy sex addict was silent through most of the exchange, mostly because she was watching Ranma's wounded arm. In the time it took him to run out of the building and reach the sidewalk where their cruiser was parked, the hole in Ranma's arm had shrunk to a slightly puckered patch of fresh pink skin ringed with blood.

Akina didn't get much of a chance to ask about it before she was pushed into the back seat of the cruiser with Ranma sliding in next to her.

"All right, let's go!" Ranma shouted.

Snake started the car, but then shook his head instead of hitting the gas. "Wait for it..."

* * *

_Targets out of combat area. Move to engage?_

Igov ground his teeth together as one of his cyborgs turned toward him with an empty gaze from its cold, mechanical eyes.

"Negative," the Russian growled out. "Do not pursue."

Then, as if in answer to a question that a human soldier probably would have asked, Igov kicked a chunk of debris out of the hole in the wall, sending it bouncing past the guard kiosk.

_Beep! BWABOOM!!_ The cyborgs all stared blankly as a considerable fireball erupted from the kiosk, courtesy of another proximity mine.

"Igov not make same mistake again," the general spat. "Igov had opportunity, and failed. Now is time to salvage remains of this place, before all is lost."

_Affirmative, General. We await your orders._ The cyborgs all moved into a line and pushed themselves to attention as best they could, each one at the ready.

* * *

"Hmmm... curiously unsatisfying," Snake mumbled as he watched the flash from his explosives in the distance.

"What, you don't think you placed enough of 'em?" Ranma asked, sweatdropping.

"No, it's not that," Snake mumbled as he started accelerating. "Or rather, yeah, but also: I don't think they killed anything. I mean, we have you, so this operation was technically a success, but it doesn't feel right that we're the ones on the run."

Ranma rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "Well, whatever. If it makes you feel any better, I've been killing terrorists all day and night before I got stuck in there."

"That DOES make me feel better. Thank you," Snake said sincerely, smiling brightly as he started humming the theme song to Top Gun.

Ranma sighed and turned toward Akina... or Junko, he wasn't entirely sure. At some point after being shoved into the car, the girl had slumped down against his arm and closed her eyes, though he didn't think she was unconscious yet.

"Hey, you all right?" He asked gently, rubbing the redhead on the shoulder. "I didn't see much of what happened back there. I had some bots to take apart. Did he hurt you at all?"

The voluptuous policewoman smiled slightly, her eyes creeping open. "Not too bad. Head's a little shaky." She curled up closer to Ranma, and sighed softly.

The pigtailed man smiled. 'Junko. Definitely Junko.' If Akina even had a gentle, vulnerable side like this, it was sufficiently hidden underneath layers of powerful lust and violent selfishness.

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief as he hugged the redhead against his side, allowing a tide of emotion to wash over the rush of adrenaline and strange chemical high he had been going through. 'They came for me. They actually came to rescue me.'

Granted, they didn't do a great job, but that was irrelevant to the pigtailed man. While people regularly expected Ranma to put his life on the line to solve their problems, it was pretty rare that anyone sacrificed or risked anything for him.

'Heh. She looks really cute like this, actually,' he thought fondly, brushing some hair out of her face. Although Junko could be quite obnoxious and frustratingly irresponsible most of the time, she also had a more mature, understanding cheerfullness that contrasted Sakura's airheaded, bubbly nature, and Ranma could appreciate that, even if he wasn't really comfortable with certain other traits of hers.

To that end, he had a much harder time appreciating Akina's single-minded, sex-obsessed mentality. Sure, the psychic was infinitely more useful in battle, but Ranma figured he could handle the fighting himself and let Junko stay sane.

"So! How you feeling, Saotome?" Snake asked suddenly, glancing back at the pair nestled in the back seat.

Ranma sighed wearily. "Eh, not too bad, but I'm a little tired. I've been running around and fighting since yesterday, you know?"

"You don't look that bad," Snake insisted. "In fact, it looks like you've healed over a couple bullet wounds, there."

"Yeah. That happens sometimes," Ranma mumbled, rubbing his shoulder to try to wipe off the dried blood.

Snake shrugged. "As long as you're okay." Then he frowned. "By the way, just a random question, totally out the blue: you haven't eaten any people recently, right?"

Ranma blinked in surprise. Then he glanced to the left, and then to the right. "You mean, like, alive?"

"Yeah."

The pigtailed man sighed in relief. "Of course not! That's gross! Why would you even ask something like that?"

"Just checkin'," Snake said casually, putting his focus back onto the road ahead.

Ranma started to relax again, when he felt the girl leaning against him tremble suddenly.

"Eh? Junko, is something wrong?"

Snake tsked and took a sharp turn. "Great, not again."

"Again? What's happening again?" Ranma asked nervously.

"Nothing serious. She'll get over it in a bit." Snake maneuvered the car into a parking garage, and then immediately took the first ramp down into the underground section of the structure.

"Are you sure? It looks like she has a fever or..." Ranma trailed off as he looked around. "Wait, where are we?"

"Isolated subterranean structure," Snake said simply as he parked the car in one of the numerous empty spots in the cavernous, dimly-lit lot.

"Oh. Right," Ranma mumbled, started to get an eerie sense of nervousness crawling up his spine. "Okay, so... why are we here?"

"It's out of the way, nobody's around, and we can do pretty much whatever we want without attracting any attention," Snake explained as he turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"I don't follow," Ranma deadpanned, his face darkening. "What's going to happen now?"

"That's none of my business," Snake said bluntly, opening the car door and stepping out. "Have fun. I'll be back in a couple hours."

"Wait, what?" Ranma asked nervously, sitting up. "You're leaving? Why? Junko's in trouble, here!"

"Yeah, I think that's your problem, now," Snake mumbled, walking briskly toward the exit ramp.

"Hey! I'm serious! What are you-" Ranma suddenly stopped talking as he felt a sudden surge of ki energy come from the woman in his arms.

Understanding struck him like a hammer. The psychokinetic burst struck him more in the manner of a freight train.

_Whoomph!_ Snake winced as he heard a muted explosion, and looked back into the garage to see his vehicle trembling unsteadily as the shattered remains of the windows rained onto the ground.

"Sorry Saotome, but sometimes a man has to take one for the team," the American mumbled. "Men other than me, that is. Gotta go!"

"Wha... Wha... A-Akina?" Ranma gasped out, trying to lift his head.

He was currently lying on his back across the seat, his body shaking from a constant onpour of kinetic force that was pushing him down, as if every limb were supporting massive weights.

Akina stood over him, licking her lips sensually as she tapped into her deepest reserves of power. "Just relax, sweetie... I'm going to make this feel SOOOO good!"

"W-Wait! Stop! What's going on? Let me go!" Ranma protested, his face paling.

Akina frowned as she took hold of his wrists. "Hmm... I thought that the virus was supposed to increase your sex drive..."

"What are you talking about?" Ranma shouted. "Sex drive? Even if it was increased, don't you think this is a bit much?"

Akina hesitated, and then sat up, looking unsure. "Yeah, maybe. It's not really my style to be this forceful, but..." She smirked suddenly. "You're a slippery one, so I thought I'd better go all-out."

"Are you serious? You're joking, right?" Ranma asked, a slight twitch in his eye.

_Shrrrp!_ Another wave of telekinesis blasted into him, and the pigtailed man blinked in surprise as his clothing vanished into shreds of cloth and nylon.

"Hey! No! W-Wait! GAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

* * *

"Ah, Mr. Michnel. Checking out already?"

Wolf smiled at the young woman behind the reception desk at his hotel. "Yes, my business has been taken care of, here." Using an older cover identity of him like international German businessman Jake Michnel was somewhat dangerous at this point, but he had really wanted to spend the night in a good hotel, and thus took the risk.

The receptionist handed the German man a bill as she spoke. "I see. Well, we'll be looking forward to serving you the next time you have business in this area, then!"

Wolf smirked gently as he took a fold of bills from his pocket and started counting them out. "I'm sure there will be plenty of... business here soon, but I'm thinking that perhaps Tokyo's getting a little hot for me."

The receptionist blinked in confusion, but quickly accepted his payment and bowed. "Thank you very much!"

Several minutes later, Wolf was waiting at the bus stop, a satchel over one arm as he checked his watch.

"Flight leaves in just an hour. Man, I hope it's not raining today," the assassin mumbled. "I wonder what the weather's like in Poland, anyway?"

After his last job, Wolf was quite certain that he had become a top priority for several international security agencies, as well as the normal assortment of national groups that would be very upset at his absconding with top-secret technologies. Dodging them wouldn't be too difficult... unless he was connected substantially to the Freedom's Angels, in which case the Americans and Japanese would both spare far more resources to see him brought down. The Americans in particular were still pretty twitchy about evil terrorist plots.

Then again, after his last job, Wolf wouldn't need to work for a fairly long time. Stealing wasn't his ordinary line of work, and Igov had paid top dollar to make sure that his favorite agent was satisfied.

'Hopefully I can find someplace cheap and unconventional to stay while I send money to my sisters,' the knife fighter thought to himself as he stared out at the Tokyo skyline.

"Heh. Still... I won't miss the work, but I will miss the city."

_Foom!_ A small explosion in the distance flashed briefly, spurting a fireball into the air that was visible for miles.

"On that note, maybe I should take some photos while it's still here," Wolf mumbled to himself as he turned away, ignoring the gasps and sudden chatter from other pedestrians.

"Ah, here you are. Hello there! Mr. Wolf, is it?" Came an unfamiliar voice from behind Wolf.

The German man didn't budge. In his line of work, being identified was usually a liability, and even if it was someone who had a job for him and had tracked him down, he wasn't really looking work at the moment.

"Mr. Wolf, is something the matter?" The voice said, coming closer. "Could I speak to you for a few moments?"

Again, Wolf didn't turn around or make any sort of response to the voice.

"Hey, what's the pigtailed guy think he's doing?" The voice said suddenly.

Wolf immediately whirled around, his eyes scanning the area in all directions. "Saotome? Where?"

"Psyche."

A vein popped up on Wolf's head, and he finally looked down at the source of the voice that had been speaking to him. It was a short, bespectacled man wearing a lab coat with his hands clasped behind his back.

"Who are you, what do you want, and why do you keep calling me 'Wolf'?" The assassin asked, figuring there was at least some possibility that he may need to plausibly deny his identity.

"My name is Professor Yoshi Konta, I want your help with something, and I call you 'Wolf' because that's what the General called you before. Or am I wrong?" Yoshi asked, being perfectly amicable as usual.

Wolf frowned. "Hmph. I'm afraid I'm not taking on any jobs right now. If you'll excuse me, my bus is arriving soon..."

"One million," Yoshi said suddenly, lowering his voice.

"Eh?" Wolf perked up immediately. "One million what?"

"Dollars. American. Or in any other currency you'd like. Euros, perhaps?" Yoshi smirked. "All for five, maybe ten minutes of your time."

Wolf was intrigued, but did a good job hiding it. "Really? What kind of job pays that well and takes so little time?"

"The kind of job that only a man with your... exemplary physical capabilities could perform. You won't even be doing anything illegal, I assure you!"

The German snorted in disbelief. "And why should I trust you?"

"Well, the job is really only worth a tenth of what I'm paying you," Yoshi said, shrugging. "The rest should cover... 'trust'."

Wolf was silent for a long moment before his greed and curiosity overwhelmed his common sense. "Let's see what this job is. Then I'll make a decision."

"Of course, of course. Follow me, please," the biogeneticist requested, walking down the sidewalk.

After a few minutes, the little man reached the edge of a large debris field that was surrounded by high fences.

"Do you know what this area is, Mr. Wolf?"

The German nodded. "It's where one of those big cannon shells landed when... **someone** attacked the city with a submarine."

"Exactly. Pounded the large restaurant here to rubble, and scratched up everything nearby a great deal, as well. The site is still being cleaned up, but it's taken quite a while. This way."

Wolf followed the diminutive scientist through a gap in the fence, and then into the middle of the lot, which was more or less a lumpy hill of concrete debris.

"Okay, so I think it's fair to ask now: what is this job, exactly?" Wolf asked, adjusting his shades briefly.

"The job is to complete a combat test," Yoshi said simply and earnestly. "I'm going to release a creature that will attack you. Your objective is to kill it using any means at your disposal."

Wolf's eyes narrowed. "And, naturally, this... 'creature' is going to be trying to kill me, right?"

"That is, as they say, 'the catch'," Yoshi admitted. "However, I hardly think that someone of your considerable skill and power could really be killed by any of my little monstrosities. Still... if it does turn out to be too much for you, you can surrender, and I'll stop the test. I'll even give you half the reward for your trouble, but I'm afraid the full payment is only if you win."

Wolf glanced around the lot. "Where is it?"

"It's... nearby. For optimum results, the test requires that the creature's appearance remain a surprise until it begins. Also, there is but one rule I would have you abide by during the test: you cannot leave the boundary of this lot, as the creature will follow you and create all manner of ruckus in the process. We wouldn't want that, right?" The biogeneticist pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Well? Those are the terms. It's completely up to you whether or not to participate. No threats, no excuses."

Wolf stared long and hard at the little man, trying to detect some hint of emotion besides perverse cheerfulness. Failing to gain any insight into his motivations, the assassin shrugged.

"Eh, sure. Why not? I've risked much more for much less. Let's see this mysterious 'creature'."

Yoshi smirked. "Right away. Hold still, please." With that, the diminutive professor pulled out a small plastic squirt gun and aimed it at Wolf. "This is a special solution I call a designator. It's used to 'paint' a target for my pet to hunt. Although it would happily commit wanton violence on its own, this is, so far, the most effective way to guide it toward an enemy. The solution itself is harmless and will wash off easily, so again, please don't move."

Wolf frowned as Yoshi squirted him in the arm with the little toy gun, and then immediately started glancing around the lot, expecting an immediate attack.

"So, has it started?"

Yoshi smirked as he backed away. "Oh, it's begun all right..."

_Crack! Crash!_ Wolf turned around as a nearby pile of debris started shaking.

'Ah. Should've known. That pile looked like it had been deliberately formed, and it's not like the construction crews would have a reason to pile everything there.' He flicked his wrists briefly, and a pair of butterfly knives appeared between his fingers.

_Thoom!_ The top of the mound of rubble finally burst as whatever was within it got free, and Wolf got his first look at his opponent as it pulled its legs out of the debris.

"What the hell..." the assassin mumbled as he stared at the creature.

Honestly, it was on par with what he was expecting; Yoshi was obviously with the Freedom's Angels, and Wolf had seen the sick monstrosities that they set loose on a whim. This one definitely fit in with the rest, although it was a lot farther from human and a lot closer to monster than anything Wolf had seen thus far.

Four large, spider-like legs covered in thick, bony ridges made up the creature's lower body, supporting the rest of it. Similar in size and shape to the legs but armored even more solidly were a pair of curved talons that were attached to the main body just above the legs. Emerging from the quadrapedic thorax of the creature was a long, shiny, worm-like body about the thickness of a telephone pole that ended in a large mouth full of teeth that immediately reminded Wolf of a shark's jaws. The creature had no eyes that were apparent to the German, and it made a low hissing noise as it turned toward him, jaw snapping. All told it was about five feet tall, and three feet wide, though both measures depended upon it bending its legs and neck.

"Heeeaaah!" The creature suddenly jumped toward Wolf while he was still busy staring, and the knife-fighter barely managed to jump to the side as it landed with shocking swiftness and accuracy, stabbing the spear-like points of its legs deep into the rubble.

"This is it? What is that thing?" Wolf demanded as he jumped away, avoiding a second leap as the creature let out a menacing snarl.

"That, my good mercenary, is the prototype J-type genetic weapon, our newest strain of combat mutants."

Yoshi looked proud as the mutant pounced again, prompting Wolf to kick a chunk of concrete into its path. The piece of debris broke harmlessly against the creature's armored carapace, although it did cause it to miss its jump trajectory and land improperly on its talons.

Yoshi continued as the mutant scrambled to its feet. "As our foes like to attach intimidating nicknames to my creations, I've taken the initiative this time: Mr. Calvin Asmodius, I present to you the 'predator'."

"Charmed, I'm sure," the assassin growled as he hopped back to get some distance. 'All right, this doesn't look so bad. All I really need is to find a weak point in the shell and cut the blasted thing open.'

"Huuughr!" The predator suddenly charged at Wolf, its talons raised to attack as its feet scampered across the uneven terrain.

Wolf jumped into the air in response, doing a somersault as he flew over the bioweapon.

_Thok! Thok! Thok!_ A rain of knives struck the predator immediately as Wolf passed overhead, and the mutant screeched to a halt as the numerous blades embedded themselves in its armor.

"Heeah!" The predator's neck curved about to face Wolf's new position, and then its legs scampered about to rotate the rest of the body along with it.

"Very impressive penetration with the knives," Yoshi mused aloud as he wrote down some notes on a clipboard. "That carapace armor was designed to stop anything weaker than a rifle cartridge. It's really quite amazing you managed to scratch it."

Wolf twitched as the predator charged again. "So, tell me again why you thought this fight would be easy for me?"

This time the assassin leapt backwards to get his distance, and then immediately regretted it as the predator mutant simply extended his charge by jumping forward, scything him down in mid-air.

"Guh!" Wolf grit his teeth as he felt one of the talons slice through his jacket and rip into his chest, and a fan of blood decorated the sharpened appendage as the mutant's blades tasted flesh.

The German managed to roll away immediately upon landing, barely avoiding the predator's talons as they stabbed down to try and pin him in place.

"Damn insect! You ruined my jacket!" Wolf snarled as he backflipped away and landed in a crouch. "You'll pay for that!"

"Sssshhaah!" The mutant wiggled its talons threateningly as it snarled at its prey, saliva spraying from its mouth.

"I've had enough of this," Wolf mumbled, drawing a pair of combat knives and holding one in each hand. "If this keeps up I could miss my flight. Next attack ends it."

Yoshi chuckled and wrote down more notes as the predator hissed and crouched, as if incensed.

After a few moments, however, it became clear that Wolf wasn't about to do anything, so the mutant once again leapt at its prey, talons and legs pointed forward to impale its target.

Wolf, surprisingly, didn't leap away or affect any kind of dodge. Instead, he immediately dashed foward, right between the long, bony claws. "Stupid overgrown flea," he snapped as he stabbed both knives deep into the bottom of the thorax, where the legs connected to the upper body.

There was a brief blast of dust along the ground as the force of Wolf's charge impacted the force of the predator's leap, and the mutant let out a stunned squawking noise at finding its attack halted.

It made an even worse noise once Wolf swung his arms down, tearing the knives through the mutant's body in a savage slash that sprayed pale ichor all over the ground as the predator was sent tumbling.

Wolf took a few deep breaths as he stared down at his slime-covered weapons, and then he tossed the blades on the ground. "I win."

Yoshi raised an eyebrow, glancing at the predator as it writhed on the ground, its legs jerking about awkwardly. "It's still alive, though..."

"Not my problem," Wolf said simply, taking out a handkerchief and dabbing his wound. "I just shredded the key tendons to its legs, and probably a nerve cluster too, unless I miss my guess. It's immobile, and thus effectively harmless. Isn't that good enough? I don't really have the time to waste to finish it off, and it'd be a waste of energy."

Yoshi considered it for a moment, and then nodded. "All right, I suppose it's fine. I did say you needed to kill it, but you make a convincing argument. You win."

"Great. Where's my money?" Wolf asked promptly, putting away his blood-stained handkerchief in his pocket.

Yoshi fished a small electronic device from his pocket. "This has all the account information necessary for you to access a bank balance, already in your name, of one million dollars, American. This account is safe, of course, but do be careful where you transfer the funds to," the biogeneticist said, smiling brightly. "I hear that Interpol has been very diligent in hunting down accounts belonging to terrorists and international criminals and freezing them. Be careful, now!"

Wolf snorted and pocketed the device. Normally he would demand immediate proof that the information was legitimate and secure, but something compelled him to trust the little scientist... at least insofar as trusting him helped Wolf leave as fast as possible. The diminutive man was somehow unnerving, and Wolf didn't like being intimidated by old geeks half his size. "Thanks, but if you have any other work in the future, find someone else. I'm looking into retirement."

"Of course, of course. I doubt you'll hear from me again. Have a nice flight!" Yoshi said brightly, bowing to the German as Wolf leapt over the fence around the lot and then dashed down the street.

The assassin gone, Yoshi Konta turned toward the predator mutant, which had ceased thrashing and was now trying to wrap its legs together in an attempt to stop the bleeding from its thorax.

"Well now, that test went splendidly! I think I have an excellent idea of Mr. Wolf's capabilities now!" The mad scientist said happily, approaching the wounded mutant.

Yoshi fished a small spray can out of his pocket, and then blasted the predator with a brief jet of its contents.

Immediately, the predator stopped its pained hissing and curled up silently, still twitching but otherwise still. Yoshi promptly put the can away and then pulled out a clean white rag.

"Now then, my pet... let me help you get some of that blood off your claws..."

* * *

Robots dismantled: 3  
Cyborgs forcefully decommissioned: 7  
Laboratories compromised: 1  
Supernatural sexual assaults: 1  
Mutants put down: 1  
Major future plot points foreshadowed: 1

End Chapter 27


	28. Getting Down to Business

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

Guardian: delivering pointless carnage and unstable personalities since year 2000! Oh, also, some stuff from All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku is in this chapter, and I totally don't own that.

Guardian  
Chapter 28  
Getting Down to Business

"Gentlemen, if I may have your UNDIVIDED attention, please!" Snake said, raising his arms dramatically as he shouted throughout the room.

"Mankind has come far in the past century. Plastic explosives. Sabot rounds. The Internet. Nuclear bombs. Nintendo. All of these, of course, are among the greatest achievements of humanity. We continue to advance, however, proving that we are, in fact, God's chosen, the inheritors of Earth."

Snake raised one arm even higher, beckoning to the ceiling. "But today, my friends, humanity takes its NEXT step toward its ultimate destiny. Its fate: the eventual conquest of the great beyond."

_Wham!_ Snake suddenly brought his fists down onto the desk in front of him.

"GENTLEMEN! Rejoice! For yet another great milestone has been crossed in the history of the human race!"

With that, he tore the cover page off of a presentation stand, revealing several sketches and diagrams of what seemed to be some sort of large satellite.

"Behold! The ion cannon satellite! AT LAST, we can blow shit up from space!" The American lauded, looking supremely proud.

"That's right! After years of development and EXHAUSTIVE spending, America has once again pulled ahead in the field of destroying enormous tracts of land with complete impunity! The ion cannon uses a refraction field to stream-"

"Would you SHUT UP?!" Tycho finally shouted, glaring at the weapons expert before turning back to Ranma.

"Seriously Saotome, give it me straight," Tycho begged, grinning madly. "I saw that car. There's no WAY that all that damage was caused JUST by some 'psychokinetic burst'. The windows, MAYBE. But those dents and tears in the seats were way too irregular for that."

"Come on man, just a few details! We've all got stories, you know?" Kyle said cheerfully, standing behind the pigtailed man who was seated at the table and trying to hide under his arms. "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time that me and Akina were interrupted by some mutant roaches and had to-"

"Commander, you didn't tell us about that, we were THERE," Tiro deadpanned before turning back toward Ranma and squeezing the man's shoulder. "What're you so embarrassed about? It's okay if you screwed up; it was your first time, right?"

Ranma simply groaned, trying to block the voices of the other officers from his mind.

Snake's expression darkened as his eyebrow twitched. "Are you idiots serious? Saotome's **sex life** is more important to you than a new weapon that can devastate millions?"

"YES. Now stop yapping about cannons and help us make Ranma spill," Tiro demanded.

"If it makes a difference, **I** think it's neat we can shoot stuff from space," Ranma mumbled.

"It doesn't," Tycho said immediately. "So, did you go raw, or did Chikiko remember to bring rubbers?"

This doubtless would have continued for much longer, except that at that moment the door to the briefing room burst open, heralding the entrance of a normally cheerful, airheaded blonde.

Sakura was not so cheerful at the moment, however, and was easily as close to furious as any, even Kyle, had ever seen her before.

"I can't believe you would do that! Didn't you tell us you had morals when in that form?" the blonde asked, clearly not talking to anyone already in the room.

"Sakura, please, I told you, it WASN'T me!" Junko pleaded as she followed the younger woman into the room, looking distraught. "You can't hold me responsible for what Akina does! She's a psychotic maniac!"

Sakura was about to shoot back a scathing reply when she noticed that three of the five men in the room were staring at her balefully. "What?"

"Do you mind? We were kind of having guy talk, here," Tiro said, gesturing to Ranma's partially concealed head. "Unless Junko wants to fill us in on the details that Ranma won't, we're going to have to ask you to wait outside."

Sakura's expression was incredulous. "Why are you all so casual about this? Don't you CARE?"

"Not really," Tycho admitted.

"Do you mean about the sex, or the consequences? I only care about the sex," Tiro said unabashedly.

"I care," Kyle said, looking concerned... for all of two seconds. "Sorry. I lied. I don't care."

Snake rolled his eyes. "Tekai, are you telling me that you want to punish fraternization between officers?" He deadpanned.

Sakura flushed, but didn't back down. "This isn't about fraternization! This is about RAPE! She took him by force! MULTIPLE TIMES!"

"Multiple times?" Tiro repeated, his eyes widening. "How multiple are we talking?"

Tycho snorted. "Sakura, please. Ranma could have beaten off even Akina if he really wanted to."

"That's not the point!" the blonde seethed. "It's still rape! Why doesn't that matter to any of you?"

By this time, Junko's face was almost as red as her hair as she leaned up against the wall, rubbing her forehead. Ranma was grinding his teeth as he kept his face planted firmly on the table, arms still covering his head.

Snake sighed and clapped a hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Tekai, you need to understand. This isn't a normal case."

"I** do** understand!" Sakura insisted hotly, her hands balling into fists. "But just because Akina is-"

"No, you don't understand," Snake interrupted, his voice gentle but firm, like an elder instructing a petulant child. "Sakura, when a man rapes someone, it's disgusting and tragic."

Sakura blinked as the American then gestured to Junko.

"When a woman rapes someone, it's **hilarious**."

Tiro, Tycho, and Kyle promptly nodded their heads repeatedly.

Sakura gaped. "That's blatantly sexist!"

"But it's sexist in women's favor, so nobody cares," Snake explained. "Really, you should know this stuff."

"Gaah!" The blonde yelled in frustration as she turned on her heel, stalking out of the room angrily. "You're all unbelievable! I can't take this anymore!"

Junko winced as the door slammed behind the other woman, and then sighed wearily. "Ugh. This is going to be a problem, isn't it?"

Snake blinked. "Is it? I can't imagine too many complications as a result of Sakura getting frustrated."

"Eh, she'll get over it. It's not like it's really your fault, right?" Kyle asked, shrugging.

"I guess. But it's still really awkward, you know?" Junko mumbled uncomfortably. She didn't have many female friends, and out of the only other women in her place of work, she definitely connected more easily with Sakura than Asuka. Naturally, Akina didn't care about any of that, and the relatively sane redhead was always frustrated whenever she had to bear responsibility for her alter ego's actions.

"Speaking of awkward," Tiro said brightly as he squeezed Ranma's shoulder. "Wanna give us a play-by-play on the big event, or do you not remember it that well?"

Junko sweatdropped. "Usually I wouldn't mind, but I think in this case I shouldn't kiss and tell."

Tycho looked crushed by the decision. "What? Why not?"

"Yowch!" Tiro shouted, suddenly jerking his hand away from Ranma's body.

The other men in the room gulped as a thin red haze engulfed the martial artist, who still hadn't physically moved from where he was collapsed on the table.

Junko smiled helplessly as she shrugged. "Ranma can be pretty timid when it comes to this sort of thing, but I don't think it's a good idea to embarrass him too much, don't you think?"

"All right, geez!" Tiro said, nursing his hand as the other men started sulking. "If it bothers you that much, we'll just go tell hooker jokes and talk about boobs in the locker room like usual."

"Damn prudish brat," Tycho mumbled as he stepped out of the room, immediately followed by Tiro and Kyle - who incidentally looked quite pleased that the subject of general conversation was going to soon shift to less complex topics.

Junko waited several seconds after the others were gone before she finally allowed herself to address Ranma directly. "Soooo... I know we haven't really talked much... but... uh..." she sighed. "Look, it feels really weird to say this, but I'm sorry Akina... aw hell, whatever. I'm sorry I forced myself on you," she finally spat out.

Ranma blinked in surprise and slowly lifted his head off the table as the redhead continued.

"I mean, I don't know WHY it's such a big deal that we had sex, but that doesn't matter. You don't sleep around and I have to respect that like all the other girls that want a piece of that steely ass of yours. You know, the ones that constantly parade around like idiots to get your attention, but don't seem to warrant a second glance unless they're in danger of being devoured or something. As fetishes go a hero complex is a pretty neat one, actually, but there's something to be said for-"

"Chikiko, stop talking," Snake deadpanned.

She promptly did so with a slight wince, and waited nervously for Ranma's response.

For his part though, the pigtailed man just looked confused. "What are you doing?"

Junko raised an eyebrow. "Uh... I'm apologizing."

"But... you're a girl," Ranma said in bewilderment.

Junko started to look a little annoyed at this point. "As you're thoroughly and INTIMATELY aware of, yes, I am."

"Since when do girls apologize to guys?" Ranma asked, turning toward Snake in askance.

The weapons expert shrugged. "Well, remember that she IS crazy. This could be some desperate psychosis emerging from her submerged super-mind, trying to soften your guard for the next time she jumps you."

Junko clenched her teeth tightly as she massaged her forehead to try and suppress an uncharacteristic urge to bludgeon the men in front of her. "Look, just shut up and forgive me, all right? I know that Sakura will never get over it if we're perpetually walking on eggshells or treating the whole incident as some sort of spectacle, and I hate all this awkward tension! Stuff happened, mistakes were made, and now I want everyone to be adults about it and just move on!"

Ranma straightened in his chair even as Snake rolled his eyes, feeling rather impressed by the redhead's admission. "Okay, you're right. I forgive you. It's not like anyone was killed or anything."

"Other than, you know, your innocence and chances at having a meaningful first encounter with someone you really care about," Snake interjected.

Ranma expected Junko to be upset about the reminder, but instead the redhead frowned at him. "Speaking of which, were you seriously a virgin? 'Cause lemme tell you, you're REALLY GOOD for someone with no experience, never mind someone with no experience being taken against his will. It's amazing how well you know the female body... almost suspicious, really."

Several beads of sweat started to crawl down Ranma's brow as he tried to find a way to deflect the question.

"Maybe he has a sister?" Snake guessed, seeing that the pigtailed man wasn't likely to divulge anything right away.

"A sister that lets him feel her up?" Junko asked, raising an eyebrow as she turned to the American.

"If the manga I've seen is any indication at all of common Japanese familial relations, then yes, that's a fair assumption," Snake retorted. "However, we'll probably never know because Saotome just went invisible and escaped."

Junko snapped her head around to where Ranma had been sitting, and was quite disappointed to see the chair empty. "Well, that's just great."

"You said it. He was the only one actually interested in the ion cannon," Snake mumbled.

"The what now?"

Snake brightened immediately, latching onto Junko's casual inquiry. "The ion cannon is a new weapon developed by the-"

"Oh, it's just some new gun. Just don't use it inside, okay?" the redhead requested, turning away and heading out of the room. "The construction guys are having a hard time as it is putting this place back together in such a short amount of time, and we don't need any holes in the wall or whatever."

Snake's face darkened as the door closed behind Junko, leaving the American alone with all the materials he'd prepared and an increasingly pressing desire to share it with someone.

'Well, if I can't get my teammates to care about something as awesome as this, then I'll find someone who does!' the weapons expert decided. '...... Or I could find someone too badly injured to get away.'

Snake smiled.

* * *

"In addition to devastating an entire city block with impunity, the ion cannon leaves behind only mild amounts of electrostatic radiation, without all the fallout and long-term damage of nuclear weapons. With a recharge cycler of only three minutes or so, it's the first strategic superweapon with uniquely tactical applications, being able to strike anywhere in a hemisphere without warning and tearing through any and all defenses! Even subterranean facilities aren't safe as the core of the beam projects a bolt of intense electron streams down under the point of impact, utterly frying everything below it in temperatures comparable to some of the harshest conventional weapons currently in production! It's a technological marvel given deadly, efficient form, and the ultimate expression of American military superiority!"

Asuka sweatdropped as she sat up in her bed uncomfortably, using her pillow as a backrest. "That's... That's great, I guess. So... is Saotome okay? We never did a formal debriefing."

"Most people would say that he's better than okay," Snake said, shrugging negligently. "If you discount the fact that he got shot, anyway. And since his body apparently did, so will I."

"But what about the T-virus infection?" Asuka demanded.

Snake crossed his arms over his chest. "I feel like we're straying away from the important topic at hand, here. The ion cannon represents a complete strategic shift for our forces!"

"How?" Asuka deadpanned. "It's not like we can use it."

The smirk on Snake's face spoke volumes even in the silence that surrounded it.

"Please tell me we can't use it," Asuka begged, starting to grow distressed. "Who the hell would give YOU control of weapon of mass destruction?"

The American shrugged. "I know some people."

* * *

That very morning...

_Brrring! Brrring!_

Within a rather decadent-looking office, a balding man with large glasses and a scowl that seemed etched into his features glared at the phone on his desk before snatching it up.

"This is Cheney. What is it?" asked the Vice President of the United States.

_Hey Dick! What's up, man?_

Richard Cheney raised an eyebrow at the voice. "Snake? Is that you?" Such was his surprise that his scowl even lessened in intensity.

_You know it! How's the gig going, Dick?_

"Ah, it's a goddamn wreck," Richard growled. "The war's going south, the hippie bastards in Europe won't stop whining, and there's this whole 'thing' going on in Africa. Here I am trying to flatten a country and some twits in the U.N. suddenly start whining at me to help stop a genocide. Am I the only one that sees the irony in that?"

_Yeah, probably,_ Snake answered honestly. _But hey! I heard you just got a new satellite that can blow shit up from space!_

Richard snickered. "Yeah, there is that. We mostly put it together to piss off the Russians and Chinese, but it's a nifty little gadget."

_Any chance you could give me the activation codes and let me rain destruction upon my enemies without restraint?_

"Okay, sure. You want the sat-map firing codex or the beacons?"

_Better send both. The beacons are definitely more action-hero-esque, but my boss has this thing for strategy._

"I hear ya. I'll have it airdropped into your backyard by this afternoon," Cheney explained. "So, you coming back to the States anytime soon? We could go hunting!"

_Screw you, Dick._

* * *

"Any people who would leave you in control of a weapon like that have to be off their rockers," Asuka grumbled, "or just plain evil, I guess."

"Yes," Snake said ambiguously. "Now, how could we best use this device to make the world safe for freedom, democracy, and Republicans?"

"I don't know, and at the moment I don't really care," Asuka said, shifting underneath the covers. "If Saotome's okay, then the only real emergency that happened while I was gone has been conveniently resolved without any problems."

"Yes... the ONLY emergency..." Snake said, a few beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. 'Stupid frigging roaches...'

"Well then, since you all apparently have lots of free time now, I actually have an assignment for you," Asuka said as she reached over to her nightstand and took a paper off her desk.

"Huh? You have an assignment? I thought you were off-duty."

"I am," Asuka grumbled. "And with me off-duty, the higher-ups have a choice to either try and force work onto a wounded and recovering officer, or give assignments to my second-in-command, Kyle."

Snake grimaced. "They made the right choice. So what is it? Hunting down a terrorist? Gunning down a murderer? Hunting and then gunning down a murderous terrorist?"

"No, actually, it's a mission request to Core that they didn't feel like sparing manpower for," Asuka explained. "Shiromir Incorporated has a trade show and banquet dinner this evening, and has requested additional protection in case of terrorist attack, since their new vice president will be making a press conference there and meeting with the head of Mishima Heavy Industries."

"That sounds like a one-man job to me," Snake said immediately. "Preferably one man that isn't me."

"Well, I don't care how it gets done, but since we don't have any pressing assignments I want us to take care of it. It wouldn't hurt to let people know that we can accomplish a simple bodyguard assignment without blowing anything up."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that," Snake added.

_Whap!_ Asuka's alarm clock bounced painfully off of the American's forehead, and then she continued speaking. "I have all the details here, so make sure you take care of it. Other than that, you guys just need to stay on your patrol schedules and everything should be fine."

* * *

Such was the sequence of events that saw Snake wandering about headquarters with the assignment portfolio in his hand and a Band-aid on his forehead.

'Hmmm... this really is a worthless assignment. Still, it's work, and as a police lieutenant I have a sacred responsibility to take this seriously! Namely by foisting it off on a hapless underling.'

He glanced about as he entered the locker room where Kyle and Tiro were talking about something or other that didn't involve weapons or violence and thus didn't interest Snake. 'Of course, it would be ideal to give a worthless assignment to the most worthless officer, so as to not deplete our manpower in case it's needed for important things like combat or LAN parties. In that case...'

"Commander?"

Kyle turned toward the American. "What's up, Snake?"

"Where's your sister?"

"I think she went on patrol by herself. She's still sulking about the thing with Ranma, you know?"

Snake frowned and rubbed his chin. "Unfortunate. I'll have to enlist someone slightly more useful. Yamazaki, do you have time for a boring, stupid, thankless mission?"

The lecher frowned. "No, I have to go surf the Internet for naughty pictures. Sorry."

"Damn! We're fast running out of useless people," Snake groused. "Commander, how about you?"

"I was actually going to go to the garage and lift heavy things," the blond man explained.

"Why?"

"It helps reassure me that being smart isn't important as long as I can bench-press a car. It's sort of a self-esteem exercise."

Snake nodded reluctantly. "You have a point. Intelligence doesn't seem that great when you think of it like that. Where's Junko?"

"Off having a long bout of self-reflection where she examines her life's choices and how it affects the people around her. Immediately followed by a bout of frustration, which she'll probably relieve by going out and getting laid," Tiro said.

"Bugger. What's Tycho doing?"

Kyle decided to field this question. "He decided he didn't want to have to fix and clean the car that Ranma and Akina used, so he's taking it to the bay to drive it off of a dock and into the ocean. I think he said he was going to try and set it on fire first, too."

"A much better use of time than this assignment, to be certain," Snake admitted, looking disturbed. "Seras?"

"I'm pretty sure we can't actually assign him missions, Lieutenant," Tiro deadpanned. "But in case you want to try, I think he was in the labs trying to get as much blood out of Saotome as possible to make more of that R-virus stuff."

Snake clicked his tongue. "Well, shoot. Then that means I'm out of options, then. It's time to face the music."

* * *

"Here. Do it," Snake said sharply, slapping the mission portfolio down next to where Ranma was sitting on an examination bench.

"Huh? What's this?" The pigtailed man asked, picking up the folder. He already looked slightly pale, and had a few bandages wrapped around his left arm where he had already had some blood drawn.

"It's a mission. Especially for you. You're perfect for it!" Snake lied, trying to force false pride into his voice as he spoke.

"Because it involves stealth or incredible fighting abilities?" Ranma guessed, looking over the papers.

"Because you're not busy, and you're not me," Snake clarified, causing Ranma's expression to darken.

"Who says he's not busy?" Seras shouted, emerging from the sample chamber in the corner of the lab. "I'm running an extensive battery of tests, here! It'll be hours before I'm finished with him!"

"Tests for what?" Snake asked, looking annoyed.

"Tests for establishing the mutational and transferable parameters of the R-virus!" Seras fumed, holding up a vial of bright crimson liquid. "To say nothing of the medical examinations to ensure that Saotome is unharmed from the ordeal of having millions of lethal viruses undergoing rapid, unstable mutations and altering his body!"

"That sounds WAY less important than what everybody else is doing," Snake said negligently. "If you're going to come up with excuses, at least make it a good one, like having to lift heavy objects or something."

Ranma sighed as he finished skimming the profile. "Why can't YOU do it?"

"Well, besides the most important reason of it being stupid and me outranking you, I have to teach a self-defense class instructing women how to defend themselves from molesters and rapists this evening, and the convention could easily take too long," Snake explained, crossing his arms over his chest.

Seras and Ranma blink-blinked.

"Wait, what?" the latter asked. "You? Teaching self-defense? Seriously?"

"Of course!" the American said, looking affronted. "All the departments got the opportunity to volunteer for the effort, and I figured it was a simple and effective way to help the common good."

"I just can't imagine you'd be a good teacher for martial arts," Ranma mumbled, quite annoyed that no one had asked him to help with such a project.

"Martial arts? What does that have to do with anything?" Snake asked, perplexed.

* * *

_Bang!_

The women in the room flinched back fearfully as the pistol shot tore through the head of the dummy propped up on one side of the room, followed by a dread silence disturbed only by the sound of the bullet casing bouncing on the tile floor.

"And that's how to fend off an attacker. Any questions?" Snake asked, slipping his sidearm back in its holster.

"W-We have to sh-shoot them in the head?" One terrified housewife asked with a tremor in her voice.

"Only if you're merciful," Snake explained seriously. "Those of you who wish to be more vindictive in defending yourself against sick perverts may aim for the pelvic region. I have to warn that this isn't entirely safe, however; the resultant agonized screaming could potentially damage your hearing."

"But... we don't have guns," one woman said cautiously.

"I'm well aware that the Japanese take a rather dim view of people defending themselves properly as is your natural right as human beings in a free society," the American said grimly, gesturing to a large cardboard box next to him, "so I brought enough concealable handguns for everybody. Everybody, line up and take a weapon. That's right. Careful now, they're already loaded. Okay, now take a backup magazine and the maintenance and use pamphlet to my left. Very good. Take turns firing on the practice dummy until you feel comfortable with your weapon. Remember, security is a right for the people, not a privilege of the authorities!"

* * *

"It's very rewarding," Snake said as Seras and Ranma continued to look at him with bewildered expressions. "So, anyway, you have to do it. The Captain really wants us to complete a simple mission without any killing or explosions, and Moses knows **I** can't do something like that."

Ranma sighed as he slipped off of the bench and onto his feet. "Fine. I needed something to keep me busy anyway."

Seras smirked suddenly. "But don't you think you might need to attend Snake's rape defense instru-" the faux doctor was silenced as Ranma slammed the back of his fist into the man's nose. "Owth! Wha da hew! Mah node! Ith bweeding!"

"I'll leave right away," the pigtailed man grumbled as he and Snake headed out of the lab.

"Great. It should be a cakewalk, but in case you do need reinforcements, remember that we're all doing other things and can't be bothered," the American explained.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Got it."

"Also, thanks again for recommending Nerima Quick-fix Constructors to get the HQ patched up," Snake added, far more gratitude in his tone. "I was skeptical at first, but they really do good work! Not to mention that they have different rates based on what destroyed the building!"

"I know. The deal for fixing Amazon wall breaches are the best, if I remember," Ranma explained. "Well, I'm taking off now. See ya later."

"God speed, Saotome!"

"My node! Can fubwum geh me a thowel or fumfing?"

* * *

Shiromir Incorporated was not the most lavish company in the Japanese industrial sector, and their trade show actually turned out to be relatively low-key and thrifty. The address that Ranma had sprinted to turned out to be a hotel with its ballroom rented out rather than a convention center or a park, and instead of being surrounded by armored vans and men with guns Ranma only noted that there was an unusual number of hotel security guards about.

To a businessman, it would have seemed shoddy, which was entirely the point if one was worried about attracting enough attention to warrant being firebombed by fanatics. The entire setting gave a sense of the inconsequential and routine, which also meant that security was necessarily light and unconcerned.

Well, mostly unconcerned. Having arrived carrying his weapons quite openly along with his body armor and the patch denoting his department association, all the security guards were eyeing him with expressions ranging from suspicion to honest fear.

He was the law though, and none of them moved to stop him as Ranma strolled past the front desk and down the hall, looking every bit like he belonged there.

Soon he had entered the main ballroom, and the pigtailed man looked mildly disappointed as he looked around the devices and machines scattered about the room. On the whole they were a lot less impressive than those that were on display the day of the Prometheus mecha attack, mostly being mundane pneumatic devices, pipes, or furnaces being set up on small display booths.

The only thing that really piqued his interest was a lower display stage at the end of the ballroom, and that was just because whatever was on display was currently covered by a silk curtain, ensuring maximum curiosity. Whatever it was, it was human-sized, and the stage was stamped with a logo declaring it the property of Mishima Heavy Industries.

As Ranma approached the display, however, several hotel guards quickly moved in from both sides to intercept him, their faces grim and their eyes on his pistol.

Deciding that he wasn't going to get a peek at whatever was underneath the sheets, Ranma decided that it was time to get to work.

"Hi there!" he said amicably as the men and women approached. "I'm part of the security detail today. Any idea where the Shiromir bigwig is?"

The guards stopped, and a few of them whispered to each other.

"I did hear that the VP called in some government muscle to help out," one of the men said reluctantly.

"So... what? One guy? From the municipal ghost-busting division?" another guard asked in disgust.

"Yep, that's me, Ghost Sweeper Saotome," the pigtailed man said sarcastically. "I also do robot busting, mutant roach extermination, and birthday parties. Now can I meet whoever's in charge? I'm not paid by the hour."

One of the guards gestured to him. "Sure, over here. Although you should really conceal that thing," the man advised, pointing to the massive handgun at Ranma's hip.

"Why? Making sure people know I have it helps make sure that I don't end up having to use it," Ranma reasoned. "Or at least, that's what Snake tells me."

"Is this person an American?"

"Yeah. Why?"

The security guard released a pained groan from the back of his throat as he led the DAPC officer toward the back of the hotel to one of the luxury suites located on the first floor. "Whatever. Just stay out of the way, keep your gun in its holster, and for the love of Christ, don't TOUCH anything."

He knocked on the door to the suite. "Mrs. Vice President? Your security detail is here."

There were many times since becoming a police officer where Ranma had almost regretted the decision.

Unlike some other people, these moments never came during times of great hardship or during incredibly dangerous combat encounters, but usually after having to put up with ridicule, disrespect, and syrup-thick bureaucracy without the surprisingly comforting option of simply punching someone to make it stop.

There were few other occasions that really made him look back on that momentous choice and wonder if it was all worth it.

Although now that he was staring at Nabiki Tendo in a business suit and processing the idea that he'd have to stick around and protect her, he was absolutely sure that it was right for him to become a police officer. After all, if even this didn't cause him to rip off his badge and crush it in his hands, nothing would.

"Well, well, well..." the brunette said, looking slightly surprised to see him. Of course Nabiki recognized him right away, and if for some reason she hadn't, his expression of shock and rapidly growing unease would have given her a big fat clue that she should have. "I wasn't expecting this. I guess those power-armored goons at Central couldn't spare any muscle for their poor, hard-working citizens, huh?"

Ranma's awkward surprise and dread quickly withered in the heat of irritation that her words stoked. "There's nothing poor or hard-working about **you**," he said venomously. "Public defenders of the peace have **important** things to take care of, you know. You're lucky you got anything at all. And you're REALLY lucky you scored a bodyguard as good as me."

"Yes, of course, what was I thinking?" Nabiki said in mock reflection as she took a seat on a velvet couch and crossed her legs, "Why settle for an actual trained and disciplined soldier when I have access to an unreliable barbarian who grew up in the wild being schooled in the world's most destructive fist-fighting techniques by an inept and immoral slimeball? I look forward to seeing my trade show ruined when a jealous boyfriend smashes through our centerpiece display trying to throttle you," she deadpanned.

"That's not going to happen!" Ranma insisted hotly, his hands clenching into fists.

"I'll admit, there's an equal chance of it being a jealous fiancee instead," the brunette said wryly. "But there's no sense in complaining about it. You're here already, and I'll admit you're a better choice of bodyguard than any of the hapless grunts with pepper spray they have scattered around this place already. You've got the job."

Ranma was about to shoot back with another barb when he stopped short. "Wait. What do you mean I've 'got the job'?"

Nabiki rolled her eyes condescendingly. "I mean I've looked over my options and accepting you as my bodyguard is the best choice available... unfortunately. Haven't you ever been to a job interview before?"

"No, I haven't be-" Ranma shook his head suddenly, his ire rising rapidly. "What is this about an 'interview'? You asked US for help!"

The businesswoman idly brushed back a lock of hair - noticeably longer than in her teenage years, Ranma idly noted - "Just because we asked for help doesn't mean we'll take whatever scraps are thrown to us like mangy dogs. So long as you're protecting me and my interests, you'll do so like any other employee, and that means being vetted first to make sure you're capable. Most people would be put through a background screening too, but I don't want to tempt a server crash by making my laptop try to upload all the carnage the government database must have on you."

Ranma gaped for several seconds. "But... employ... capable? I'm... vetted... scraps?"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow as the pigtailed man stuttered. "Eloquent as ever, I see. So did you spend any of the time that you've been fleeing from your family and responsibilities learning which end of that gun fires the hard pointy things, or is it just for show? It would be nice if you've learned to fight without knocking down the buildings around you."

At that point, something in Ranma's mind snapped, and the pigtailed man suddenly straightened as his face darkened. "The hell with this. I'm outta here."

That caused Nabiki to blink in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm leaving." Ranma rooted around in his pocket for a moment and then pulled out the mission portfolio, holding it up in front of her. "You see this? This says I'm supposed to follow your orders and protect you."

_Shrrrrrrp!_ Ranma promptly tore the sheet of paper in half in front of the staring businesswoman.

"Now it's gone, so I don't have to do any of that. You can hold your little business thing and make a billion yen or die in a big explosion; I don't care." His eyes hardened further, and he thought he detected just a flicker of uncertainty in Nabiki's expression. "You're NOT my boss. You do NOT pay me, you do NOT give me orders, and I am NOT going to sit in front of you like a good little watchdog while you barrage me with insults. You don't like the free help you're getting? Then I'll leave. I don't have to put up with you."

"Are you serious?" Nabiki said, snorting humorlessly. "So this is the quality of our civil servants these days? Someone's a bit rude so you turn on your heel and go back to scarfing donuts?"

"We're the government. Go figure," Ranma deadpanned, finally turning around to leave the room.

"And what will you do if there IS an attack and innocent people die?" Nabiki said quickly, idly pouring herself a shot of scotch from the glass table next to the couch. "People you could have potentially saved?"

Ranma stopped short, and then seemed to think carefully about the question before he turned his head to reply. "I guess I'd mope around feeling guilty for a while until all the friends I have now cheer me up and I get over it." Nabiki seemed utterly shocked, or at least that's what Ranma interpreted from the brief widening of her eyes. "I've learned a lot since leaving Nerima, Tendo. And one of the things I've learned is that no matter how many people try to make it so, not everything bad that happens is my fault. Sometimes buildings get infested with mind-altering slugs, and if I'm not there to save everyone, why should I take all the blame when there are violent terrorists and twisted bosses to take responsibility?"

Nabiki's eyebrow twitched at being called "twisted," but otherwise her apathetic expression didn't waver. "Why shouldn't you be blamed if innocent people are hurt when it's your job to protect them?"

"I'm a cop, not your personal toy soldier," Ranma responded coldly as he turned back around. "I'll see about saving some kid from a car accident or something on the way home. It's a better use of my time than standing around as a bullet shield for people who can afford REAL bodyguards."

Nabiki idly downed the scotch as Ranma reached for the door, her mind awhirl.

She had expected Ranma to show a bit more spine than in the past, given how he had long ago built up the nerve (or common sense, depending on your point of view) to walk out on the obligations that had locked him in Nerima for two years of his teenage life. What she hadn't expected was the obvious vehemence with which he regarded her, like she was some sort of poisonous snake.

Granted, she hadn't been any kinder to Ranma than anyone else during his Nerima days, and considerably less kind than most, but at least she had possessed the sense and dignity to mistreat him only when it profited her rather than out of petty jealousy or misplaced hatred. He had always seemed to accept her miserly, greedy nature with annoyed resignation before; what had changed that he now detested her to the point that the threat of dead innocents didn't move him? The insults? Ranma had deceptively thick skin and could trade barbs with the best of them. What had she said that could have caused such great offense?

Well, whatever it was that had turned him off, if she didn't counter it soon she was out a bodyguard. While she really would have preferred a power-armored soldier to the lynchpin of the Nerima Wrecking Crew, Ranma was far and away a better choice of guard than the hotel security guards wielding tasers and harsh language.

"You're sure about this now?" Nabiki asked, allowing a tinge of disappointment to enter her voice as she furiously considered her remaining threats. "Naturally I'll have to inform your supervisor if you decide to do this. Just how much do you enjoy being a police officer, Saotome?"

The old "do what I say or I'm telling" tactic was amongst Nabiki's favorites, though she wished she had something more damning and embarrassing to reveal besides Ranma walking out on his job. But having only just stumbled into her long-lost houseguest, she had no idea which skeletons the martial artist currently had in his closet, and guessing wildly was against her nature.

Luckily, it seems the threat of consequences via ordinary authority had worked; Ranma stopped in the doorway, still facing away from her.

"Hmm..." Ranma rubbed his chin thoughtfully, which was admittedly not the reaction Nabiki was hoping for. Ultimately though, she couldn't complain when he finally turned around again. "Fine. I'll do it."

Nabiki was proud of way she didn't let even a speck of relief show on her face. "Good. And if you want to keep your job, then-"

"Shut up," Ranma said sharply, his eyes narrowing as Nabiki's widened fully in surprise. "I don't want to hear your stupid threats, because I don't care about them. I'm not doing this because I'm afraid of losing my job, I'm doing this because my 'supervisor' really wants to see this assignment finished. I have a lot of respect for her, and right now that respect is greater than how much I can't stand you."

The pigtailed man crossed his arms over his chest as he stood before the fairly stunned businesswoman before him. "So for now, you've got yourself a bodyguard. Point out a spot where I can stand around like a lamp post for a few hours and let's get this over with."

Nabiki really didn't know how to respond to that; she was quite angry at Ranma's response, but her immediate reaction to anger was to suppress it such that it didn't give away her emotional state or affect her decisions. 'Okay, so I can expect Ranma to do his job, but he certainly doesn't seem to fear me at all.' It wasn't a situation that she particularly liked, but correcting the pigtailed man's attitude was far more trouble than it was worth, considering that she'd probably never see him again.

"Fine. The show starts in a half hour, so follow me."

Nabiki led Ranma out of the room and down the hall, and then split away from the convention hall Ranma had gone through earlier, heading toward the garages.

Although Nabiki was perfectly fine with the suffocating silence, Ranma began to feel increasingly awkward and uncomfortable; after taking the reigns of their negotiations and verbally strangling Nabiki with them, he had a sinking feeling that the businesswoman was using the silence to think of an appropriate revenge against him.

Being a man most comfortable on the offensive, he decided to throw caution to the wind (as well as the mood, to an extent). "So, how's the family?"

"One thousand yen," Nabiki said automatically.

"You can drop dead," Ranma countered acidly.

Nabiki snorted. "Did I catch you on a bad day, or are you always this touchy nowadays?" she asked as they reached the elevator and she pressed the call button. "Fine. Kasumi's still wasting her life away caring for father who's wasting his life away indulging Akane who's wasting her life away for nobody else's benefit."

"Huh. No marriages or nothin'?" Ranma asked, betraying a little more interest than he meant to. "That's a shame. Kasumi should really have found a husband by now."

"Of course. Kasumi," Nabiki drawled. "Because it seems like you're not going to give me any money, and because I'd like this conversation to end as soon as possible, I'll cut to the chase: yes, Akane's still with what's-his-face, and no, their relationship doesn't seem to be going anywhere."

Ranma looked reasonably embarrassed as they stepped into the elevator. "Oh. Okay. Uh... you see Pops around much?"

Nabiki pressed the button for the third sub-level, and the door promptly slid shut. "No, I don't. Ever since you left, there's been a remarkable and soothing lack of stupidity and pointless violence. Some people complain that it's rather boring, and Daddy complains constantly about the loss of honor and blah blah blah, but in all seriousness leaving with your tail between your legs was the best thing you could have done for Nerima."

Ranma quashed the bubbling irritation at having her put it like that. "I'm kind of surprised I haven't heard from any of you before now, actually. It's not like I'm hard to find nowadays."

"True, being plastered on the front page of the local newspaper and being touted as the single greatest threat to Japanese cities since the atomic bomb isn't exactly subtle," the brunette drawled, "but I'm sure even you can understand that all the people you abandoned have actual lives now that don't revolve around dragging you to one altar or another."

Although Ranma could understand it, and was even rather relieved to hear it, he still found it surprising. "Huh. Even Shampoo?"

"The Amazons have got this whole modernization thing going on back home, and they have to deal with the government now. I hear that Shampoo is even being groomed to be matriarch someday, so they have enough problems without trying to tie you down."

"Ukyo?"

"Started a full-blown restaurant in Osaka. Place is practically a landmark already. She probably hasn't given up on you completely, but an eight-digit salary and a booming business project is a nice fat distraction from her marital status."

"Kodachi?"

"Still crazy," Nabiki said simply as the elevator doors opened, "but last I heard she was branching out into new types of crazy that other crazy people appreciate. She's got some artsy botanist... thing... going on."

As they left the elevator into the garage, she continued before Ranma could ask anything else. "It took some time for them all to figure out that they had more going for them than a fragile relationship with a super-human man-child who was only slightly less terrified of commitment than **kittens**, and let me tell you, I had to work pretty hard NOT to tell them where you were."

Ranma blinked. Repeatedly. "Wait... what? Why would you do that? They must've offered you a lot of money..."

"In the grand scheme of things, no they didn't," Nabiki said sharply, turning on her heel to face the pigtailed man. "I realized long ago that this whole charade was costing everyone, and ultimately even me, far more than I was making in selling information and naughty pictures. Some people saw you as the throbbing heart of Nerima, but to me you were more like an anchor holding down everyone into the ruts they had dug themselves into."

After watching Ranma struggle to hold back his resentment at her words for a few seconds, Nabiki added, "Also, I learned that information dealing has rather severe limits as far as making money. It takes a lot of time - or when dealing with you, a lot of convenient circumstances - to do the research, doesn't make a lot of friends, and the rewards are infrequent. Corporate business was a much better route."

She then gestured to a number of crates scattered about the garage. "Speaking of which, I need all these heavy, expensive machines moved to the convention hall. Hop to it."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Wait... what? I'm a guard, not-"

"Yes, and right now you're going to guard me from the obscene union contracts that make me pay through the nose to have someone lift boxes," Nabiki snapped. "Come on, it's not like it'll be a challenge for you, and I doubt you'd rather stand in place all day watching other people do useful work."

Once again the pigtailed man had to wonder what exactly was keeping him from turning on his heel and walking out of the hotel, possibly with a quick phone call to Snake to suggest that this particular building was built on a suspicious ammunition dump. After a few seconds of fuming however, he silently stepped up to the nearest box and hoisted it up like it was filled with packing peanuts. "I expect a thank you," Ranma grumbled as he stepped past Nabiki into the elevator.

"As long as you don't want a pension, by all means: thank you very much," Nabiki said with a smirk on her lips.

* * *

Despite the surprise addition of menial labor to his mission objectives, Ranma soon found himself relaxing as he helped place machinery around the showroom floor, having separated from Nabiki to instead be ordered around by random strangers in expensive suits who could barely be bothered to pause their cell phone conversations.

Ranma had no problems with being a gear in the clockwork despite his ego and love of showmanship. In fact he had been dragged kicking and screaming into the spotlight on so many occasions that he considered the opportunity to melt into the background and just be another worker quite attractive, if only to get a break from being constantly bombarded with sexual advancements and the occasional explosive.

So it was that when the last crate had been hauled up and pried open, Ranma decided to find a nice chair where he could keep an eye on Nabiki and kick back while all the corporate types droned on about things he didn't care about.

'Not nearly as interesting as that science thing me and Kyle crashed,' Ranma mused, remembering the strange grenades and the surprisingly benign mad scientist that had dispensed them. 'Still, boring is less likely to get you blown up by bad guys, I guess.'

Boring was, ultimately, the best way to sum up the show from Ranma's perspective. Even once the show started and people in suits started going up on stage to tout their company's new doodad, Ranma had a hard time understanding what they were talking about, and a much harder time staying interested. Many of the devices were apparently for heavy industry, and there was much talk of new alloy frames that could support this amount of force, or some kind of really small machine that could make even smaller machines that could do things that seemed so small as to be completely insignificant.

He idly considered asking around to see if any of the people knew anything about the special kodachi blades that Snake had given him and if there was some particular way you were supposed to sharpen and maintain an edge that was supposed to be one molecule thick, but found that most of the people who noticed his weapons were uneasy. He'd already had to shoo away two hotel guards that had tried to disarm him, and the rest seemed to be making regular circuits around where he was sitting as they circled through the showroom, as if HE was the biggest threat to the convention. So flashing his knives about and asking the businessmen about how to keep them sharp despite constant use probably wasn't a good idea.

Really, the only thing he had to look forward to was the big raising of the curtain at the end of the hall that he had been unable to peek under before. Sure, it was probably just an oversized welding torch or hat rack or something, but at least the Mishima people had the sense to create some mystery and suspense to their product.

Eventually Nabiki herself stepped onto the platform to speak, although Ranma wasn't really any more interested in her corporate gibberish than anybody else's. Still, he paid strict attention if only because he was supposed to be protecting her from harm.

"I'd like to thank all of you for coming today and for showcasing your firms' products for us at Shiromir Industries," the brunette said in what Ranma guessed was the closest her voice ever came to genuinely pleased. "It's important for all of us to remember the part we play in the great chain of industry and economy in the world, and the contributions our companies make as mankind steps into the twenty-first century. As political turmoil shakes up a quarter of the planet, terrorists spread pointless hate and violence to hold back civilization, and governments continue to fatten themselves with our tax money so that they can better get in our way, it's up to firms such as ours to look to the future, preferably so that we can sell it to the highest bidder."

A few chuckles came from the crowd, though Ranma doubted that she had been speaking in jest.

"Shiromir has had many partnerships over the last decade, but we're always looking to make new friends," Nabiki went on to say as another brunette stepped up behind her. She actually looked a great deal like Nabiki in general, though she was taller, obviously older, and somehow managed to seem like even more of a snob despite the fact that she hadn't even spoken yet. "Mishima Heavy Industries is the latest in the long list of business partners that will help Shiromir, and all of us, step into the future of business. And it is my pleasure to introduce Mishima's representative today, Mrs. Natsume Akiko!"

There was light applause as the older woman stepped forward, peering at the crowd through tinted glasses and smirking haughtily. "As many of you know, Mishima Heavy Industries is a company that specializes in weapons design and manufacturing, and our most impressive products would be quite inappropriate and volatile for a convention specifically scaled down for the sake of subtlety."

Ranma couldn't help but be disappointed at that; apparently it was the security policy itself that had prevented the showcasing of any death rays or super grenades that he could have used in a potential attack.

Akiko's smirk grew as she gestured to the object behind her that was still covered by a curtain. "I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit, however, that Mishima doesn't DO subtlety. And it would be more than inappropriate to welcome such a lucrative business partnership with anything less than the fruits of one of our most fantastic and successful research initiatives."

She swept one arm toward the concealed object, and then grabbed hold of the curtain. "May I present the all-purpose android NK1124 prototype!"

With a fantastic sweeping of the silk sheet, Akiko revealed a brown, four-foot tall rectangular plush doll sitting on a stool with its blocky mouth wide open and short, stubby arms sticking out to either side.

The audience stared at the Domo-kun doll with expressions ranging from bemusement to nervous confusion. Nabiki's expression of smug satisfaction was quite inappropriately frozen in place, a sure sign to those that knew her that she was panicking inside. Akiko herself was stunned silly by the sight in front of her, her jaw opening and closing wordlessly as her eyes bugged out of her head.

_Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!_ Eventually the sound of one person clapping seized the attention of the crowd, and very slowly every individual in the room turned toward the source of the noise.

Ranma stopped clapping hesitantly once he realized that the entire room was staring at him. "What? I think a Domo-kun android is kind of neat."

* * *

"Dad, what are you doing?"

Ryuunosuke Natsume, a bright-eyed young boy with a mop of brown hair and a nervous expression on his face, watched as his father drove a forklift through the hotel garage toward their car, carrying a rather large crate stamped with numerous warnings in bold red ink.

"Something I should have done months ago," Kyuusaku Natsume muttered around the cigarette clenched in his teeth. Sporting a lab coat and with his unruly brown hair covering his eyes like a curtain, the man looked every bit the typical scientist, his pockets stuffed with notes and schematics as he maneuvered the forklift into position.

Kyuusaku got out of the forklift and then grabbed a crowbar from beneath the seat. "I had my doubts before, but this time Akiko has gone too far," the man said as he wedged the crowbar into place and started prying open the crate. "Even if she's my wife, even if I have to sacrifice our family, I won't let her turn my work into a weapon! I won't let the NK1124 be put into production! This ends now!"

_Crack!_ The crate eventually gave way, and Kyuusaku pulled out the crowbar once one face of the box was loose enough to open by hand. "I'm just sorry that you had to get pulled into all this, Ryuunosuke."

"But where will we go, Dad?" Ryuunosuke asked nervously.

"I'll figure something out. But for now," Kyuusaku said as he pulled open the crate, "we run."

_Clunk!_ Father and son blinked as what was clearly a plastic mannequin in a soft blue turtleneck sweater and stylish jeans tumbled out onto the floor of the parking garage, collapsing in a heap of cheap plastic, designer clothing, and packing foam.

"Dad?" Ryuunosuke asked after a few awkward seconds. "What happened to that robot that you built?"

_SCRRRRREECH!_ The both of them jumped at hearing the squeal of tires, and then looked up just in time to see a container truck zip out of the parking garage at speeds well in excess of safe.

"......... Dad?" Ryuunosuke asked again, turning away from the vehicle that was rapidly zipping off into the streets.

Kyuusaku spat out his cigarette onto the ground and then plucked another one from his pocket before slipping it between his lips and flicking open his lighter. "On second thought, I've only got another year before I'm vested. Who am I to try and steer the entire course of advanced robotics technology?"

Lighting up the cigarette, he patted his son on the head before heading toward the forklift. "Why don't you head back up to the suite? Daddy has to go drive some evidence into the ocean."

* * *

"Okay, so let me make sure I have the gist of this," Ranma mumbled as he scrawled notes on a small pad of paper, "this Domo-kun android isn't yours?"

"It's NOT a Domo-kun android!" Akiko shouted in frustration. "And no, it's not mine!"

"If it's not yours, what makes you so sure it's not an android?" Ranma asked, raising an eyebrow.

_Thwop!_ The brunette promptly swatted the ugly brown plushie to the side, sending it bouncing across the showroom floor.

"As an executive of a robotics and weapons technology firm, I think I'd know a heavy-duty mechanical wonder when I see one," Akiko snapped.

"Fair enough," the pigtailed man admitted, jotting down more notes. "Now, have you ever considered making a Domo-kun android? I know I'd buy one."

"Gaaaaah!" The executive screamed, grabbing fistfuls of her hair in frustration before turning toward Nabiki. "Isn't there someone COMPETENT who can fix this?"

Nabiki shook her head as she closed her cellular phone, having just finished her own conversation with the hotel authorities. "Frankly, no. I just got done speaking to the hotel security desk, and they don't have a clue. Nobody was monitoring the garage either, so if the thieves wanted to escape, they've had at least an hour to do so."

"This is an outrage!" Akiko sputtered, turning back to Ranma. "You! It's your job to fix this, isn't it?"

Ranma gave her an annoyed look. "My job isn't to 'fix' anything, lady. My first priority is to keep Tendo safe. My second priority is to keep everybody else safe. I'm not exactly sure where hunting down your stolen goods is on my To Do list, but it probably rates in the double digits, you know?"

"What kind of cop are you?" The executive growled, her hands clenching into fists.

Ranma silently tapped the DAPC logo on the breast of his combat armor, and Akiko groaned weakly as she started rubbing her forehead.

"Look, I'll file a report and we'll get the whole investigation thing started, but I have a different assignment to finish and this really isn't my department's thing anyway, you know?" the pigtailed man explained.

Nabiki snorted. "Makes me wonder why we even pay taxes."

"YOU pay taxes?" Ranma asked, honestly surprised.

Nabiki didn't have the decency to admit to the contrary, or even blush in embarrassment, but rather turned her irritated gaze toward the crowd of businessmen milling about the showroom floor awkwardly. "Well, the show may have turned out bad, but this isn't a total disaster."

"How do you figure that?" Akiko screeched. "A special prototype representing billions of yen of research and production has been swiped from right under our nose, and you say it isn't a total disaster?!"

"No, she's right," Ranma interrupted. "You may be an expert on robots or whatever, but I'm an expert on disasters. And this isn't so bad."

"How could this **possibly** get any worse?" the older brunette demanded.

"Well, we could have mutants and terrorists storming the place to cover for the theft of your machine," Ranma offered.

Akiko's incredulous reply was pre-empted by a terrified scream coming from outside the convention hall, drawing the immediate attention of everyone inside.

"MONSTER!! IT'S A MONSTER!! RUN!!" Nabiki's eye twitched as one of the hotel security guards ran past the main entrance to the hall, flailing her arms as a rush of panicked tourists and businessmen scrambled along behind her in a panic.

"Huh. Okay, I guess I was asking for that. But this is fine. Everything's going to be fine," Ranma insisted, cracking his knuckles meaningfully as the people in the showroom started milling about nervously and glancing at the emergency exits. "Nobody panic! I've dealt with this before! Please find the nearest piece of available cover and wait there until it is safe to leave the room!"

_FWOOOOOSH!_ A bright flash of light and redoubled screaming came from the hotel lobby.

"Oh God! They have flamethrowers! The MONSTERS have FLAMETHROWERS!!"

As the people around him gaped in stunned silence, Ranma cringed. "Okay, this is a little new to me, actually. Perhaps a LITTLE panic would be appropriate."

"Saotome! Do something about this!" Nabiki shouted angrily.

"All right, all right! Just find someplace safe, and-"

Ranma's instructions were cut off by one of the emergency exits bursting inward as a burly man with a heavy machine gun crashed into the showroom.

"Everybody on the floor or-"

That man's instructions were in turn cut off as Ranma snapped off a trio of shots into his chest, the Jackal's armor-piercing rounds slicing right through genetically enhanced musculature and artificially hardened bone before detonating into dozens of metal shards that turned the unprepared attacker's insides into bloody soup.

Nabiki's eyes widened as the terrorist - his cobra and barbed wire tattoo drawn large over his exposed bicep for all to see - coughed painfully a few times before tilting forward and collapsing on top of his own unused weapon.

"You... Did you just kill that man?" Nabiki asked nervously, idly noting that Akiko's expression hadn't changed from simmering anger despite the sudden violence and the outbreak of panicked shouting in the showroom.

Ranma frowned. "Well, I couldn't really arrest him with the machine gun and all. The situation is a bit dangerous for worrying about that sort of thing, don't you think?"

"Agreed," Akiko snapped before Nabiki could compose a reply. "There's no alternative here but lethal force. Saotome, please see us safely to the garages."

_Crash!_ One of the walls on the side of the showroom exploded as a massive form barreled through it, burying and then trampling a few unlucky businessmen in the process.

Ranma clicked his tongue as he noted the creature's massive frame, musculature, and the featureless plate over its face. "Mauler! Get down and stay away from it!" He shouted, aiming his Jackal at the mutant's bald, shining head.

_BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!_ The mauler's head lurched back as the three remaining rounds in the magazine punched into its reinforced skull, and the creature stood shock still for a moment as brackish liquid oozed from the cracks in its faceplate.

_Click! Clack!_ Ranma quickly went about reloading his pistol, idly wondering how many enemies had infiltrated the hotel. He seriously doubted the terrorists had brought anything he couldn't handle, but the abundant opportunities for innocents being killed in the crossfire made him nervous.

"Hoooooonnhh..." a hollow, vacuous noise came from the mauler as it turned toward the source of the bullets, hefting its left arm and the rather large metal apparatus attached to it.

The flamethrower attachment looked to be somewhat ramshackle, composed of several metal tubes and a few mismatched tanks of fuel all bolted clumsily to the mauler's forearm, but Ranma couldn't fault its efficiency as a thick tongue of fire belched from the mutant's claw and splashed against the column he was hiding behind.

Apparently Akiko could, however. "A low-temperature gas flamer? In this day and age? They may as well fling matches at us!" The executive said scornfully as she crouched next to Nabiki behind a large industrial press. "Saotome! Shoot the tanks!"

"Are you crazy? The explosion could kill someone!" Nabiki retorted.

Ranma ignored the women behind him as he bounced up and grabbed onto a light fixture, and then swung himself over the jet of fire to land a punishing kick into the mauler's bleeding faceplate.

The mutant shrugged off the blow with ease, groping upward with its free hand as it turned off its flamer in favor of swiping clumsily at its attacker.

Ranma landed atop the mauler's head, and then slipped down behind its back, grabbing onto the metal tube that ran from the back of its skull to the small of its back.

"Hey, is that press powered on and everything?" Ranma shouted as the monstrosity stumbled about, smashing its arms against the nearest support column savagely and sending great chunks of marble bouncing across the hall.

"I believe so. Why?" Akiko demanded.

With a quick flip, Ranma had grabbed hold of the damaged column and drawn in his legs underneath his body, aiming his feet for the enraged mutant's back. "Incoming!"

_Whomph!_ The pigtailed cop slammed both legs into the mauler, doing little appreciable damage but sending the mutant stumbling forward, closer to where Akiko and Nabiki were hiding.

Without wasting another moment, Ranma pushed off of the column and flew through the air in an acrobatic spin, lashing out with another punishing kick to the back of the mauler's head that finally sent the creature teetering forward.

_Thwang!_ The mauler hit its head on the bed of the press awkwardly as it tried to catch itself with its cumbersome claws, but the poor dexterity of the limbs - to say nothing of the haphazard machine attached to one of them - didn't allow it much time to maneuver before Akiko Natsume flipped off a safety key and then calmly activated the press.

_SCRUNCH!_ Many of the people watching, including Nabiki, winced and made squeamish expressions as the mauler's head and shoulders were smashed into a thick pulp that oozed out of the cracks of the machine and onto the carpet below.

Akiko hit the button to open the press, and then stared at the gory remains of the mauler with undisguised fascination. "Very efficient. Although with that design there isn't much to keep the moving parts from getting gummed up with monster guts, is there?"

A rather pale man slowly stood up from behind an automobile frame. "It w-wasn't meant for-"

"Never mind, just make sure you put some nice big warning signs on the front," the brunette said before turning toward Ranma. "Saotome, lead the way to the garage."

Ranma frowned at the executive as he took out his radio handset. "Not yet. There's no telling how many more enemies there are out there, and we have injured people here."

Without letting Akiko or Nabiki the chance to lodge a complaint, Ranma turned toward a few people that were starting to creep toward the exit that the terrorist had come from. "Hey! You guys help dig out those people that got trampled! I think they're still alive! I'm calling for backup!"

Akiko looked annoyed, but restrained herself from giving any more orders. "I knew I should have brought Arisa along... or at least ONE suit of powered armor..."

"I don't know, you seem to be taking this just fine as it is," Nabiki mumbled, her nervousness clear in her voice.

"You learn to put up with these sorts of things when you work at Mishima," Akiko confided, taking a handkerchief out of her pocket to rub some of the mauler's blood off of her shoe. "Some factories count their days between accidents. We take it one hour at a time."

"How lovely," Nabiki deadpanned. 'Christ, I meet Ranma for the first time in years and after just two hours I'm already surrounded by crazy people again.'

* * *

"Hey Lieutenant, we've got a call," Tycho said as Snake lounged in the passenger's seat with his arms folded under his head.

"Yeah? On the direct line? From who?" the American asked, betraying only token interest.

Tycho switched on the speaker on the radio, and Snake gave a start as he heard Ranma's voice.

_-need some help here, terrorist gunmen and mutants have infiltrated the hotel and are attacking civilians. Casualties are light but panic is starting to set in. We need to make sure the outside is clear so that we can safely evacuate the hotel and help the wounded!_

Snake promptly picked up the microphone handset. "We hear ya Saotome. We're on our way. Just keep the kids safe for now, all right?"

_Thanks Snake. I'm fine for now but I don't want to take any chances._

Tycho turned the corner and then accelerated down the straightaway, turning on the sirens as he started weaving through traffic at thoroughly unsafe speeds.

After a few seconds, another radio message came through on the speaker, this time in the voice of an unfamiliar female dispatcher.

_Calling all cars, calling all cars, we have a violent disturbance taking place on Kurono and Tien Avenue. All available units in the area, please respond. There is a major risk to local civilians._

Tycho raised an eyebrow. "That's right near here. Do you think it's the Angels?"

"Even if it is, our first priority is helping out Saotome," Snake insisted, reaching to turn off the radio.

_Someone, please respond! Pirates are fighting Ninja!_

The ear-rending screech of tires was soon drowned out in a cacophony of panicked horns honking as Tycho turned into a power slide that slipped the DAPC cruiser into the adjacent lane going the opposite direction, heedless of the multiple vehicles that had been in his way.

"Saotome, this is Snake," the American said seriously as he thumbed the handset again. "That's a negative on those reinforcements. Sorry buddy, but there's some serious action going on around here."

_What? What do you mean there's-_

"The public is in danger, man!" Snake retorted sharply. "Besides, I'm sure you can handle anything those dorks throw at you! Over and out."

_But we need-Click!_

"Floor it, Wattai."

"You got it, Lieutenant."

* * *

"Help isn't coming, is it?" Nabiki asked miserably as Ranma frowned at the handset.

"Well, why not?" Akiko demanded.

"It might be because there are other forces in the city that need to be dealt with for the sake of keeping the peace, even if it means spreading our power thin," Ranma ventured, "but I'm pretty sure it's because the people in my department suck."

"Well, forget them!" Nabiki growled, "lead us out yourself!"

Ranma considered this for a moment, and then nodded. "Okay. It's just one floor from the street level, so we can go out the front way. I'll go down first and make sure the coast is clear. On my signal, start coming down single file and exit the building, all right?"

With that the pigtailed man stepped out of the convention hall cautiously, glancing about the halls for any sign of movement before he hopped over the railing that overlooked the hotel lobby on the level below.

_KWABOOOM!_ Akiko winced as a thunderous explosion came from below, shattering the panes of well-polished glass under the balcony railing and sending the numerous civilians around her onto the floor in the prone position.

"That's a shame. He was actually rather capable as a bodyguard," the executive mumbled sadly. "I'm sorry for your loss, Tendo."

"I'm not dead yet!" Came an annoyed shout from below, which was immediately followed by the whirring noise of a minigun spinning. "What the-"

_Braap-aap-aap-aap-aap-aap!_ The noise of ricocheting bullets soon drowned out the weapon's engine and Ranma's swearing, and Akiko frowned as she watched the bits of wall and glass all around the lobby below shatter and tear from the onslaught of lead.

"Should we be helping him?" a middle-aged man asked nervously as he peered over the balcony.

"If something like this were enough to kill Saotome then property in Nerima would actually be worth a damn," Nabiki said, shaking her head. "We have to stay out of the line of fire and get out on our own."

"I couldn't help but notice a great deal of contempt underlying your admiration of our brave and noble officer down there," Akiko deadpanned as another roar and flare of light marked a rocket explosion from below.

"We have a history," Nabiki spat. "Anyway, I'm sure that he's attracted plenty of attention by now, and I'm not going to wait here for his signal within a grenade's toss of the conflict zone. Come with me."

* * *

_Ptang! Thwock!_ Ranma crawled along the ground like a lizard as bits of leaves and chunks of ceramic rained down upon him from the large planters he was using as cover.

'Okay... things are a little intense, but nothing I can't really handle...' he thought to himself as he peeked up to see the mauler near the back clumsily reloading its arm-mounted rocket launcher. There were two of the mutant beasts, one with the aforementioned rocket launcher on its arm and another with a heavy machine gun. There were two men too that Ranma could see, one of whom was keeping up most of the suppressive fire with a minigun.

_Ratta-tatta-tatta! _He ducked again as the mauler with the machine gun started spraying his position, and then once again scrambled for the next piece of low cover.

Dodging a bullet was an impressive feat to be sure, and one that Ranma got a lot of practice doing recently, but dodging constant salvos of suppressive fire was quite a different trick that had a lot less to do with uncanny reflexes and timing and a lot more to do with sheer luck. Judging by his day so far, Ranma wasn't in any hurry to stake his life on the whims of fate.

'I'm badly outgunned, outnumbered, and half the enemies are those big, tough bastards that have big guns bolted onto their arms. Think! What would Snake do?'

* * *

(Hypothetical plan 1: Snake)

_Bwock! _A random executive was sent sprawling as Snake backhanded him across the face.

"Wh-What are you doing?" the man asked tremulously as the American glared down at him.

Snake pointed toward the cigarette that was lying on the floor, having landed there after being loosened violently from the businessman's lips. "You were about to light that up, weren't you?"

"So what?" the man demanded, getting angry. "I'm in the middle of a firefight! I don't think a smoke to calm my nerves is too much to ask!"

The man let out a choked gasp as Snake suddenly stomped on his chest, slamming his back onto the floor.

"Well, you're wrong!" the American snarled. "We're in a life-or-death situation here, and the last thing I need is to start choking on poison dust when I'm trying to arm bombs, here!"

Nabiki blinked. "Wait, bombs? You placed bombs? Where?"

"Everywhere," Snake replied unhelpfully. "But I think that's a rather insignificant issue when some **jackass** is apparently taking this opportunity to give cancer to those of us who might actually survive!"

"You'd be wrong, actually," Nabiki supplied, only to be ignored. "Now seriously, is this entire building rigged to blow or-"

"Little busy here," Snake snapped, throwing the executive to the ground. "All right, everyone line up and toss all tobacco products onto the floor! If I catch anybody with some later, they're automatically volunteering to be mauler bait for the next explosive trap!"

* * *

Ranma sweatdropped heavily. 'Huh. That was a dry well. Uhhh... what would the captain do?'

* * *

(Hypothetical plan 2: Asuka)

"Saotome, are you all right?" Asuka shouted as minigun rounds whizzed past the column she was using for cover.

"I'm okay! What do we do?" Ranma shouted back from where he was pinned down behind a huge planter.

"Get behind them and cut down the minigun! That'll stop the suppressive fire!" the police captain advised. "There's no way you'll win in a firefight here!"

"Okay, that's a good idea, if not a bit obvious," Ranma mumbled, "how am I supposed to get behind them?"

"As a construct of your own mind, if I had a brilliant solution, would you really have to go through something as convoluted as imagining other people in your situation?" Asuka asked blithely.

"Point taken," Ranma mumbled bitterly.

"Sorry," the figment of Ranma's imagination apologized. "By the way, the mauler with the rockets is about to fire again."

* * *

"Wait, what?" Ranma asked himself as he emerged from his thoughts, idly noticing a sudden lull in the bullets flying all around him.

_Pssshaaah! _The fairly small rocket blasted forward from the cumbersome launcher on the mauler's claw, sailing over the severely damaged fountain dominating the majority of the lobby and detonating against the planters to reduce the bulky obstacles into burning chunks of dirt and marble.

"Did that do it?" Asked the terrorist carrying the minigun, glancing at his remaining ammunition belt in concern.

"Don't stop firing, you idiot! Don't you know who we're fighting here?" Another man demanded from where he was taking cover behind a mauler.

"I don't see how it matters..." the genetically enhanced thug mumbled as he squeezed the trigger again to start the motor once more.

_Tank! _The engine ground to a halt as a kodachi wedged itself between the barrels at a key point, and the gunner gaped as he glanced around for the source.

"What? But how did he-"

"Gugh!" The gunman in the rear cried out as he was suddenly struck from behind and then grabbed, his assault rifle tumbling out of his slack fingers.

Ranma picked up the man off the ground and then flung him bodily toward the nearest mauler as the two lumbering beasts turned to face him. "Here, catch!"

He was reasonably surprised when the mutant did just that, clumsily snatching the human projectile out of the air and idly crushing him in the claws of its free hand even as the man screamed in agony.

The mauler threw the hapless terrorist to the side, finishing him off when he slammed into the wall hard enough to collapse what was left of his spine. Its free claw empty once more, it promptly charged at the exposed police officer.

Its partner, which had taken a moment to figure out that firing a machine gun into the midst of its allies was not a good idea, decided to charge at the same time, swinging its bulky, muscular arm down on its pigtailed target just as the other mauler thrust its claws forward to impale him.

Predictably, Ranma dashed under the mauler in front of him at the last minute, and was quite satisfied to hear an agonized moan follow the sound of snapping carapace as the two maulers slammed into each other.

_Clank! _Ranma's head snapped to the side as the remaining terrorist finally dislodged the knife from his weapon, and the pigtailed cop promptly dashed toward him with a roundhouse kick that sent the gunman staggering backwards and his heavy weapon falling to the floor.

"Here, have yer knife back!" the man snarled as he threw the liberated kodachi forward, aiming for his opponent's face.

Ranma clapped his hands together in front of his nose, catching the weapon harmlessly before slipping it back into the sheathe on his thigh.

"Thanks," he mumbled, noting that the maulers were now angrily slugging each other on purpose, "here, have your gun back."

The terrorist's eyes widened as Ranma hefted the minigun with one hand, and then suddenly burst forward, bringing the weapon down over his head like a bludgeon. _WHAM!_

Seeing his opponent crumple to the ground unconscious - though he could tell the man was not fatally wounded - Ranma turned toward the two mutants that were now battling in earnest.

_Thwump! _The machine gun-armed mutant, which was now bleeding profusely out of several large holes punched in its torso, finally managed to grab its partner's head in its claws as Ranma watched.

"Haaaaaaaahhh..." An empty moan came from the rocket-armed mauler as the other mutant started to apply pressure, rapidly overcoming the hardened shell that protected the mutants' craniums and crushing its partner's skull into a gooey mess.

Ranma was prepared to leap onto the back of the active mutant while it was still occupied, but hesitated as he saw the dying mauler's arms go limp, rocket launcher still attached.

Drawing his pistol, the martial artist instead took aim at the exposed ammunition of the explosive weapon as the surviving mutant slowly turned around to face him.

_Ptang! Twang! KWABOOM!! _The third bullet hit the warhead just right, and the live mauler was thrown to the side as the detonation pummeled its back, adding considerable damage to the wounds it had already suffered in putting down its partner.

Pieces of concrete and plaster crumbling all around it, the powerful mutant slowly pushed itself up onto its knees, its over-reactive glands flooding its system with adrenaline and endorphins to force the mauler back into combat.

_Shwak! _The creature flinched as Ranma walked up behind it and almost lazily severed the cable that arced out of the mutant's skull and then fed down into its back, prompting the damaged tube to spit out a burst of pressurized stimulants and oily fluids.

"Hhhhrrrrrnnnnn..." the mauler emitted an almost sorrowful moan as its energy seeped out of it, and then collapsed face-down onto the shattered tile floor below, its body still.

"Hah... hah..." Ranma breathed heavily as the euphoria of combat left him, and he had to fight back a painful moan himself once he got a better idea of how bad his injuries were.

His wounds were nothing crippling, of course, at least not to him. Besides some minor burns from the first explosion and harsh scratches from the resultant shrapnel, he had taken a single bullet to the calf due to a lucky ricochet (or unlucky, as it were) that hadn't penetrated too far but was starting to sting quite a bit.

"All right! Looks like everything's clear!" Ranma shouted upward as he started working at his leg to get the bullet out. "Everybody stay calm and head outside! Don't rush and keep an eye out for glass and stuff!"

He grunted as he pried a crooked length of metal out of his bloodied calf, and then flicked it aside as he realized that he didn't hear anyone descending the stairs.

"Hello? You guys can come down now!" he repeated, growing more concerned at the total lack of response. "Tendo? You there? Nabiki?"

Gritting his teeth, the pigtailed man leapt up to the second floor, catching the slightly twisted railing of the second floor balcony and then pulling himself up to view the area where the civilians were supposed to be waiting for his signal.

Granted, he was considerably relieved that he didn't find the whole lot reduced to a bloody paste because someone or something had attacked them from behind while he was dealing with the threat in the lobby, but he still felt reasonably miffed that he had narrowly avoided being perforated only for the people under his protection to find their own route to safety.

"Aw, screw it, I'm leaving," Ranma mumbled, hopping back and landing somewhat painfully in one of the smoldering craters that decorated the lobby now. "If they left on their own, there's nothing I could do. Besides, there can't be that many more enemies around. I'm sure they'll be fine."

_Rrrrrrrumble..._

The pigtailed cop stopped short as the entire structure around him trembled slightly, causing some of the rubble and broken glass on the floor to bounce along the floor all around his feet.

"I'm not sure who I hate more right now," Ranma grumbled as he turned around and stalked toward the garages, "Nabiki for running off like that, or Snake for leaving me to deal with all this while he..."

Ranma stopped for a second, wondering about his earlier communication with the American and the way it ended suddenly. "Wait, what was he doing, anyway?"

* * *

_Shwnk!_

"Shiver me timbers, the blighter's got me arm!" shouted a man with an eyepatch and a large feathered triangle cap as his hand went flying through the air following a prodigious fan of blood.

_Boom! _The man responsible - a trim figure wearing a baggy black Ninja outfit and a face mask that concealed all but his eyes - lurched forward as a bullet from a matchlock pistol plowed into his back, smashing his spine to splinters and killing him quickly, if not painlessly.

"Shadow image nonsense magic no jutsu!" screamed a Ninja, clouds of smoke bursting around him as identical Ninja appeared and leapt directly at the snarling buccaneers.

"Yaaar! Give 'em a broadside to the chops, lads!"

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! _A salvo of fire from the frankly ancient caravel moored in the nearby harbor devastated the crowd of unruly assassins, nearly half of them exploding into clouds of smoke or pulverized flesh and limbs.

"Angry dragon fire banana-fana-no-jutsu!" _FWOOSH!_

"Arr! Me fragile, flammable skin! Ya shadowy landlubbers'll pay fer that!"

As the bloody rampage intensified, Snake and Tycho watched from a nearby sidewalk from inside their police cruiser, both of them nursing tall cans of local beer.

"Damn. Looks like the pirates have the edge, but those Ninja aren't going down without a fight," Tycho mused, sipping his beverage.

"Ooh! Nice assist by the first mate! Heh, now he's not the only one who'll need an eyepatch," Snake commented as he hit the reclining lever and leaned back in the car.

"Man, I really feel sorry for Saotome. This is probably the most awesome battle EVER, and he's stuck fighting desperately for his life or something."

"Point," Snake agreed, "I feel for the guy, but SOMEBODY in our department has to be responsible and effectual until the captain comes back."

_Pssht! Calling all cars, calling all cars, we're getting reports of vehicle pileups near the major conflict area. Be on the lookout for an unregistered liquid transport truck containing unknown chemicals, and a live animal transport from the local zoo. Both have suffered collisions near-Click!_

The dispatcher's voice was silenced as Tycho switched the radio off, looking annoyed. "That's enough of that. Whoa! Did you see that? That shuriken sliced right THROUGH the peg leg!"

Snake frowned as he continued to watch the chaos spread out before them. "Wait... what did the dispatch say? Something about suspicious chemicals?"

"Dude, who cares?" Tycho shot back. "We're watching pirates fight Ninja! This could not POSSIBLY be any more awesome!"

"Grrruuooh..."

Ignoring the groaning noise behind him, a shirtless pirate wearing a bandanna over his head managed to parry a swift katana strike with his saber, and then kicked forward to knock the Ninja he was fighting right on his back.

"Ahoy, victory be mine landlubbwah?" the pirate trailed off in confusion as he found himself grabbed from behind by a pair of rotting arms, and then the man screamed as filthy, pus-encrusted teeth sank into the back of his neck.

"Yaaar! Come port side, mateys! Zombies be attackin'!" the captain shouted, his lip curling into a sneer as the living dead shambled into the battle lines.

The Ninja that had been knocked to the ground flipped back onto his feet, and then drew his short blade in order to finish off his preoccupied foe.

_Thunk! _The assassin was caught by surprise as a switchblade landed between his shoulderblades, and the Ninja promptly crumpled to the ground as his assailant swung about merrily on a nearby lamp post, brandishing another switchblade in its hands.

"Ook ook eeeek!"

"Do not drop your guard, brave Ninja!" the Ninja commander shouted as he drew another handful of shuriken, "monkeys are here! Monkeys with **knives**!"

There was a long moment of silence within the police cruiser as Tycho and Snake stared at the increasingly chaotic conflict.

"I've never been so happy to be proven wrong," Tycho admitted, very nearly brought to tears by what he was seeing.

Snake wordlessly raised his beer, prompting Tycho to raise his own beverage and solemnly tap his can against Snake's.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" a businessman asked nervously as the group of civilians entered the parking garage with Nabiki and Akiko at the head.

"The explosion wasn't that loud; those charges wouldn't be sufficient to bring down the infrastructure of the hotel," Akiko mused as Nabiki shot her an exasperated look. "I'd say they're trying to break open the hotel safes with twenty pounds of plastique and no clue."

"As long as they're not busy trying to hunt down civilians, they can burn down the whole blasted building for all I care," Nabiki mumbled. "Parking on the next level down was reserved for the convention, right? We're almost done with this."

"I s-still don't think it was a good idea to leave the cop back there," stuttered a bespectacled engineer, "isn't he the professional in all this?"

"Saotome's a good fighter," Nabiki said blithely as she headed down the stairs, "hell, I'll admit that he's a great fighter. But he's never been particularly good at keeping other people out of these sorts of messes. I'd trust my own instincts to get me out of trouble long before..."

It was at this point that Nabiki's voice trailed off as a direct consequence of her heart leaping up into her throat and utterly strangling off any statements of self-assurance that she could have produced. Upon turning the corner, she had unwittingly stepped right into view of a largish machine with a man inside, most notable for the two machine guns mounted on its arms and a single missile box placed on its shoulder.

Akiko stepped up behind Nabiki, and the woman had to fight off a contemptuous groan as she saw the junk mech that had stopped the fellow executive in her tracks. The machine was obviously built from scrapped military hardware held together with patchy machining and a few high-end parts; all together the device was barely eight feet tall, and the pilot was only partially protected behind twisted iron plates and a dirty panel of safety glass without any sort of obvious aiming peripheral.

Still, the fact remained that the mech seemed entirely functional as it stepped toward them menacingly, and seeing how Akiko had none of Mishima's more capable products available she reasoned that she'd keep her derision to herself.

"Stop where you are, brats! Try and run and you're dust!" the pilot snarled.

Akiko sighed as she raised her arms into the air in surrender, and Nabiki hesitantly did the same as one by one the rest of the executives came down the stairs and held up their hands.

Besides the mecha there was a large box truck, notably similar to those that many of the convention's attendees used to transport their products but conspicuously lacking a logo or license plates.

"So can I assume you have my android in there?" Akiko asked bluntly, gesturing toward the truck.

The mech pilot raised his eyebrow at the woman. "Android? Oh, right. Naw, that thing's gone already. We're just sticking around for some extra goodies. Speaking of which: Sukana! Gecher ass out here!"

After a few seconds, another terrorist stepped out of the truck, brightening instantly as he saw all the well-dressed and terrified captives.

"Well I'll be. If it isn't the fine and law-abiding upper classes, here to grace us poor downtrodden folk with their presence!" the new man joked.

"Eh? Who's here?" a third man asked as he followed the second one out while hefting a submachine gun in one hand and dragging along a small struggling boy in the other.

Akiko's eyes bulged, and her face turned several shades paler. "Ryuunosuke! What are you doing with him?"

The boy glanced up at the crowd, and his own expression tensed as he realized that his mother was among the hostages before them.

"This punk yours?" the second terrorist asked, a smug grin on his face. "Well isn't that just lovely? Here we saw this young thing walking about where it was dangerous - what with all the gunfire and mutants stumbling about - so we took him aside to keep him out of the way. Wasn't that nice of us?"

The businesswoman fumed silently, unwilling to either antagonize the men in front of her or start begging for mercy or bargains.

"Well, I figure since we're such nice, helpful people, it's only fair that you hand over your wallet in exchange for getting your boy back unharmed, right?" the terrorist asked pleasantly. "And since the rest of you bigwigs are also nice, helpful people, you'll all help out with your own donations, right?"

The executives were actually rather relieved to acquiesce to the rather bald extortion, hoping that it meant the terrorists had no interest in killing them at this point. Soon the terrorist that had made the request was happily collecting purses and wallets from the cowering civilians, none of them offering so much as a complaint.

His companion with the submachine gun had other concerns, however. "Hey, don't you think Jonei is taking an awful long time? If we don't leave soon, we're gonna run into trouble for sure! We don't have the guns to fight off a police pursuit."

"Whaddya mean we don't have the guns?" the mecha pilot snarled, "we'll just drop the maulers if things get sticky."

"And have Core or the DAPC on our ass?" the terrorist countered, much to the surprise and interest of many of the civilians present. "No way, man! This operation is supposed to be quick! Hit 'em hard, snatch the good stuff, and then duck out while everybody's putting out the fires! If they take much longer, I say we ditch 'em!"

The other terrorist mostly ignored his companion's discussion as he filled his arms and jacket with cash and credit cards, and eventually he reached Nabiki, noting immediately that the woman didn't have a purse ready to hand to him.

"All right, you too. Gimme everything you've got," he demanded with a smirk.

Nabiki, who had slipped back into her usual emotionless mask, just shrugged. "You can have my necklace and cell phone if you really want them, but I don't have much else on me."

"You don't look like the type to go without money to me," the man insisted dryly.

"I don't go without money, but I tend to go without my own money," Nabiki explained smugly. "Anyway, if your friends upstairs really did crack the safe, then you already have all my valuables; I keep them in the hotel safe for just this sort of occasion."

The man hesitated for a moment, as if he was going to accept the excuse, and then that sleazy smirk appeared again.

"Well now, I can't be so sure you're telling the truth. I think I'll have to search you real carefully, won't I?" he said, jeering as he reached for the brunette's chest.

Back in Nerima, while surrounded by insecure and socially self-conscious teenagers, the sort of look that Nabiki leveled at the terrorist could have probably caused her victim to have a paralyzing stroke on the spot in fear of future retribution. Unfortunately for her, the man before her had no fear for the woman he was fondling, feeling absolutely secure in his position of power as his hands roamed greedily over the smooth curves of Nabiki's body.

"Sukana! Dude! We don't have time for that!" the man with the submachine gun complained.

"Shut up! Until the others get back, I can do whatever the hell I want!" the lecher responded as his hands wandered further down the disgusted brunette.

"I'm serious! Something's wrong! Don't you think it's weird we haven't heard from anyone else yet? Or heard anything at ALL? What happened to all the rocket fire? If the guys haven't gotten the safe open yet, why haven't we heard a second detonation?"

Much to Nabiki's relief, the terrorist named Sukana released her in order to turn around and address his partner. "Well, if something DID happen to them, we haven't heard anything that could have killed them either, did we? What could they possibly have skulking around in here that could take out a mauler? Or more to the point, what do they have that could take out a mauler and THEN take out a junker mech without making enough noise to giving itself away first?"

_Brum-brum-brum-br-br-br-br-br! _In all fairness to the terrorist, the sound of the box truck suddenly starting up did give significant warning that something was amiss, ultimately proving his point. However, it was all for naught as the creaky junker failed to move before the truck lurched backward at full acceleration, smashing into the side of the surprised mecha and pushing it across the pavement toward the far wall.

_WHAM!! Crunch! _Sparks and bits of metal and glass burst from the junker as it was crushed against the reinforced concrete, the armor holding fast even as the servos, engines, and pilot within were mashed into twisted, useless pancakes.

The truck itself held up quite well with the impact, having much of the force absorbed by the hapless mech, and bounced slightly on its wheels before the acceleration let up and the vehicle halted with its engine still drumming noisily.

"Wh-What the hell..." the remaining armed terrorist finally let go of Ryuunosuke and approached the driver's-side door, his expression halfway between disbelief and fear.

_Whang! _Before the man could reach for the door handle, the door itself suddenly flew from the vehicle frame and slammed into him, having been kicked right off of its hinges from inside. The man was sent reeling backward onto the ground, his face flattened and bloody.

"Saotome! Finally!" Nabiki groused, seeing the pigtailed man stooped on the edge of the passenger's seat and glaring down at the man he had just pasted. "What the hell were you doing all this time?"

Ranma's hand was already going for his gun, but at Nabiki's question it halted. "Hey," he said to the only remaining terrorist, who had seemingly frozen up at the sudden turn of events, "are you just gonna stand there so I can pick you off, or what?"

The man seemed to snap out of his daze immediately, and promptly grabbed a surprised Nabiki by the arm before opening a switchblade and holding it to the brunette's neck. "S-Stay back! I swear I'll cut her if you take even one step!"

"SAOTOME!" Nabiki screamed, her face turning pink, "What the hell was that?"

"Just stay calm Miss, there's no need to provoke him," Ranma deadpanned.

"This isn't funny!" she screamed back, feeling herself being tugged toward the stairwell. "Hurry up and save me!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure he wants you alive," Ranma mused almost conversationally, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "You're a big shot, right? If they demand a ransom, it'll all work out."

The terrorist didn't completely understand what was going on, or why the police officer seemed almost intent on letting him get away, but chose not to question his fortune as he made it to the foot of the stairs and then turned around.

_Bzzzt! _The man let out a strangle gasp and Nabiki a pained yelp as a pair of electrodes pressed into his arm, and the terrorist promptly fell to the ground in a spasming heap as his knife bounced away under the stairs.

"Sorry about that, Tendo," Akiko apologized as she slipped her taser back into her inner jacket pocket. "Are you all right?"

"D-Did you have th-that thing the whole t-time?" Nabiki asked shakily, accepting the woman's hand to help her up.

"Of course I did. Usually I prefer to have something with a little more punch on standby, like a VN-290 armored combat suit, but Shiromir DID ask us to stay low-key," Akiko drawled, stepping away from Nabiki to take her son's hand. "There are times when you just can't rely on the local help, you know?"

"Oh yes," Nabiki said venomously as she turned back to the truck where Ranma was still sitting.

The pigtailed man shrugged helplessly. "Well, that's a wrap I guess. All the terrorists are gone and the exit is clear; there are already ambulances up top evacuating the injured people that were left in the show room. Everyone's clear to leave."

The majority of the civilians wasted little time after this point, with half of them practically racing toward the vehicles as fast as they could, and the other half descending on the stunned terrorist to liberate their wallets.

Nabiki, Akiko, and Akiko's son were notable exceptions, not that Ranma really expected the middle Tendo daughter to let him get away with his earlier stunt. "Yes? Was there something else you ladies needed? It's probably best that you leave now, just in case there's a bad guy I missed, or they left some explosives around."

"Don't give me that," Nabiki snapped. "Just what were you thinking back there?"

"I was thinking about how hard it would be to lie, cheat, and fast-talk your way out of a desperate terrorist taking you hostage, and how if anybody could actually manage that, it'd be you," Ranma said drolly. "I have to say, I was kind of disappointed. What, are you not getting much practice without me around?"

Nabiki's eyebrow twitched, though to her credit her expression actually turned calmer rather than more enraged. "And what would you have done if that sick bastard actually managed to escape with me?"

"Well, now we'll never know, will we?" Ranma deadpanned. "Are you going to leave or not? Us cops have this whole 'debriefing' deal after a mission, and I kind of want to get a good start on it. Also? I've been SHOT."

"Oh, boo hoo," Nabiki snapped. "You know that freak that you almost let get away with me? That bastard felt me up! I think he was going to rape me!"

Ranma blinked. "So... are you hurt or anything?"

"That's not the point!"

"Actually, it kind of IS," Ranma snapped back, being irritated at hearing such a complaint when other people were being carried out of the building on stretchers.

"_Ahem!_" Nabiki's rebuttal was cut off as Akiko finally cleared her throat, none-too-subtlely demanding their attention. "Be that as it may, despite your... lapse in judgment, you did excellently," the older brunette said, gently squeezing her son's hand. "And I will be the first to admit that we had our lapse, one that put you and ourselves in much greater danger. Yet you still prevailed and rescued us, as well as... **most** of our assets that were at risk."

There was a tinge of disappointment in Akiko's voice, but it almost sounded forced, as if she was trying to make sure she seemed concerned about her company's interests after being reunited with her son. "Mishima Heavy Industries could use a man like you amongst its ranks. You wouldn't happen to be looking for a new career path, would you?"

Ranma promptly backed off, shaking his head. "Sorry, but there's no way. Police work isn't the best gig ever, lemme tell you; you have to work with some really strange people, and sometimes you get called out to do some **really** awful jobs," he stopped to glance meaningfully at Nabiki, who simply rolled her eyes in response, "but it's important to me."

"Of course. I understand," Akiko said humbly, beaming at the pigtailed man. "If you ever change your mind, you should be able to find me without much trouble. Have a good day Mister Saotome, and thank you."

Akiko then moved past Ranma and Nabiki, smiling down at Ryuunosuke as she did so. "Now Ryuu-honey, can you tell me where Daddy went? Mommy has to have a **nice, long talk** with Daddy about leaving you alone in the middle of a terrorist attack..."

Ranma felt a slight chill down his back at that thought, and offered a silent prayer to the woman's husband.

"Miss Natsume may be happy with this **catastrophe**, but I'm not," Nabiki growled, demanding the pigtailed man's attention once again. "I've lived with you long enough to know that you should be able to do better than this. The convention is ruined, as are several delicate and expensive machines, the enemy got away with a valuable piece of military hardware, several people were injured if not killed, the hotel is a wreck, and you LET one of those idiot terrorists take me hostage! Maybe if you saved a close family member of mine I'd feel differently - Kami knows that's how you've gotten away with this nonsense in the past - but this is the sort of guard job I'd expect of Ryoga or Pantyhose Tarou!"

Ranma's earlier irritation returned with a vengeance. "Now wait a minute! How is any of that-wait, his name is still Pantyhose?"

"Yeah, still Pantyhose. That's **one** power struggle that hasn't changed with your leaving, at least."

"Huh. Go figure," Ranma mumbled before turning around. "Well, I'm outta here."

Nabiki blinked in surprise. "Wait, I-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you before," Ranma mumbled as he started to walk away, "and since apparently you didn't hear ME before, I'll repeat what I said earlier: I don't care. You're still alive, so mission accomplished."

"Wow, a big hand for Captain Ambitious over here," Nabiki drawled. "What happened to all that jazz about 'being the best'? You still into that?"

A dozen scathing responses occurred to Ranma before he finally stopped himself and then glanced back over his shoulder. "You know what your problem is, Tendo?"

"Yes: I have this tendency to rely on **idiots**," she said evenly, "but I doubt that was what you had in mind, so, by all means, please tell me exactly what the big problem is."

"The problem with you is that you treat people like tools," Ranma said, grudgingly pushing aside the brunette's insult. "I don't just mean that you use people; I mean, every boss does that, and it's fine. But you use people the same way you'd use a hammer or a pair of pliers or something. They're not human beings to you, with needs and emotions or whatever. They're just machines that do what you want when you press the right buttons. And when they don't work right, or don't work as well as you think they should, you just discard them for a new one, or give it a swift kick, or in my case, try to whine me into coma."

Nabiki was about to speak again, but Ranma kept going, turning around fully.

"But that's not all, either. At some point you couldn't even tell the difference between your tools and everybody else's. Everybody became a lever for you to pull, or a locked box full of money for you to open up with the levers. You've divided everyone around you into assets and liabilities, just waiting to be cashed in or dumped."

If Nabiki was at all impressed with Ranma's insight, she didn't show it. "I do hope you have a point coming sometime soon."

In response, Ranma turned around and lightly kicked the bloodied terrorist that had been knocked out with the truck door. "My point is that as philosophies go, it's way too close to what these bastards do, or at least their bosses. Everyone is a tool to be used, a target to be exploited, or an obstacle to be destroyed. And they have the support of some business leaders too, because they figured they'd come up on top."

The pigtailed man gave Nabiki a final glare as he started walking toward the exit again. "Don't get me wrong, you obey the law and everything, and that counts for a lot. But I still wonder: if you were to get a phone call describing the costs and benefits of assisting with a massacre, would you hang up right away? Or would you hear them out? Because maybe the offer might just be worth it..."

Nabiki's gaze was unflinching as Ranma trailed off. "Huh. I see. I don't suppose we have anything more to talk about, do we?"

"See you later," Ranma responded as he walked out. "Except, you know, NOT."

* * *

"Ugh..." Ranma very nearly collapsed on the plush sofa in DAPC headquarters, releasing a sigh of contentment as his body sank into the comfortable material.

Aside from the disinfectant-soaked bandages over his calf, his injuries were all but a memory, and one which he was making every attempt to ignore until it was purged entirely from his consciousness.

"Man, are you okay?" Tiro asked, entering the room and noticing the pigtailed man's state of exhaustion. "Was the assignment that bad?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Ranma admitted, "though right now I'm more annoyed that I had to patch up my leg myself. Seras said he's too busy with some kind of super drug or something, and I can't find the girls anywhere."

"I'm pretty sure they're avoiding you for now," Tiro admitted. "Or should I say, for once. Say, do you know where Snake and Tycho are? They should have been back from patrol like an hour ago."

As if in response to the question, the front door to HQ burst open, revealing the aforementioned officers as they marched into the building boasting expressions of considerable satisfaction and joy.

Tiro was going to ask what they were so pleased about, but soon a more pressing question was in need of answers. "Tycho? Why are you wearing a pirate hat?"

The driver raised an eyebrow, and idly adjusted the black cap bearing the skull and crossbones on his head. "And what ELSE would I do with a pirate hat?"

Ranma frowned. "Why is it spattered with blood?"

"And what ELSE would happen to a pirate hat as half a dozen monkeys descended on its owner and stabbed him in the face repeatedly?"

"Touche," the martial artist granted.

Snake, meanwhile, had a small bag in his hands that he carried over to Ranma before reaching in and pulling out a somewhat slimy four-point shuriken. "Here! I got you a souvenir to apologize for leaving you on your own when you asked for help. It's a Ninja star! I figured that you might get sick of using real weapons all the time and want to get back to your Ninja roots in flinging around bits of sharpened metal."

A vein popped up on Ranma's head. "I'm NOT a Ninja."

"Well, whatever. It's still cool, right?" Snake asked.

"It's covered in... is that pus? Did you actually remove this after it was used?" Ranma asked, making a disgusted face.

Snake rolled his eyes and then put the shuriken away. "You know what? Fine. Don't take a share of the loot. More for me."

Ranma suddenly snapped his fingers. "Loot! I almost forgot!" Taking out a slightly charred briefcase, the pigtailed man withdrew his kodachi and started prying the locks open.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" asked Tycho, perplexed.

"It was in a safe somebody else blew up," Ranma answered as he forced open the first lock.

Tycho blinked. "Uh... no, I mean, like, where did it come from? It wasn't here a minute ago, but-"

_Crack!_ The second lock gave, and Snake whistled in appreciation as the briefcase opened to reveal stacks of yen notes, American dollars, Chinese yuan, and several credit cards, small electronic devices, and other plastic cards that seemed largely less useful.

"Hey, not a bad find!" the American admitted, reaching in and picking up a passport wrapped in a protective plastic sheath. "Huh. Who the heck is Nabiki Tendo?"

"Someone who doesn't really agitate my conscience enough to care when her stuff is taken," Ranma admitted, "although it could just be that I've been hanging out with you guys for too long."

Tycho glanced between Tiro and Snake. "So... really? Nobody else cares that we just saw a briefcase appear out of thin air."

"Well, we are terrible, terrible people," Tiro admitted in response to Ranma's theory as he leaned over toward Snake to look at the picture. "Ooh! She's kinda hot!"

"Personality of a rattlesnake, though." Ranma warned. "A greedy rattlesnake. A greedy rattlesnake that keeps eating up your money. A greedy, money-scarfing rattlesnake with-"

"ALL RIGHT, we get it. She's not worth it," Tycho said, exasperated. "So what are you gonna do with the money?"

"Well, I figure it can go toward the cost to fix up HQ first," Ranma mused. "After that? Dance party."

"Equitable and fair," Tiro agreed before turning toward Snake. "So where were you guys, anyway?"

"Just at the Battle of the Century, that's all!" Tycho said. "An epic battle between the fiercest creatures from all the corners of the Earth! A conflict to shatter the very fabric of mankind's placid existence!"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "So who won?"

"Nobody," Snake said, shrugging, "two chicks from Tokyo Metro PD showed up and broke it up before the pirate captain, the Ninja overlord, the zombie tyrant, and the monkey blademaster could get down to business."

"Aw, man, that sucks," Ranma said, imagining the scene in his mind.

"Kinda. The girls were pretty cute, though." Tycho admitted. "I also got their vehicle dispatch number, so we can find their names and information on the database later!"

"I'm pretty sure that crosses the line from 'courting' to 'stalking'," Snake reasoned dryly.

"Heh. Score," Tiro said cheerfully, bumping fists with the driver.

"Terrible, **terrible** people," Ranma mumbled to himself.

* * *

End Chapter 28

Terrorists felled: 8  
Mecha scrapped: 1  
Maulers mauled: 3  
Superweapons fallen into the wrong hands: 2  
Pirates hoisted to the great rigging in the sky: 21  
Ninja hiding in the shadows in Hell: 18  
Monkeys flinging poo in purgatory: 24  
Zombies that don't get an afterlife because they were dead to start with but are now more so: 33 


	29. Ever Wonder Where Stimpacks Come From?

Guardian  
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction  
by Black Dragon

To those of you who voiced complaints in the last chapter to the effect that Nuku-Nuku was being "turned evil," I submit to you that "Nuku-Nuku" is the android created by implanting a cat's brain into an inert robotic body, not the body itself. To that effect, as certain "events" that led to that "implantation" have not, strictly speaking, "happened at all," the android commonly known as "Nuku-Nuku" never existed, and thus cannot be "evil".  
In summary, mostly because I haven't used enough quotation marks, the "android" you will come to know in "Guardian" is NOT "Nuku-Nuku" any more than it is "Mecha-Godzilla" or "C3-PO".  
If that still doesn't help, well, shoot, I guess you can just get over it, then.

Guardian  
Chapter 29  
Ever Wonder Where Stimpaks Came From?

"All right, increase the primary coil charge by seven point two-two percent."

"Electron stabilizers are functioning within expected capacity. Increasing primary coil charge."

"Sir! Electrical feedback is increasing exponentially. The accelerator charge is stripping the charged ions from the outer shell of the sphere. I'm not sure we'll be able to contain another plasma burst like before."

"It's fine, the new ion dampers are still stable. Continue the systems test!"

Within the cavernous vault that housed the Freedom's Angels' most prized technological treasures, numerous scientists and engineers crawled around the massive humming carapace of one such machine, checking cables, reading charts, noting meter readings, and in some cases simply trying and failing to sit still in the presence of such an incredible machine.

There was really no other word to describe the device other than incredible. A massive dome the size of a large house hummed and jolted with power as it tried to wrap its electric fingers around reality itself, eventually hoping to peel back the fabric of space and time so that man - weak, pitiful, short-lived mortals - could drop themselves into holes punched into the depths of the universe. Attached to the dome was dozens of smaller machines: power plants, massive capacitors, sensor blocks, coolant towers, magnetic field generators, and others, every one of them stacked up atop one another and crudely connected so that they all resembled a gigantic, ramshackle engine.

All of these machines toiled constantly, every one of them being pushed to the limits of their operating power and some of them far beyond what they were ever intended to handle. All to feed the seemingly endless hunger of their master device.

The chronosphere.

"Magnificent, no?"

Igov Yutchzky stood on a steel balcony overlooking the main lab space, his hands clasped behind his back as he smiled approvingly upon the experiment below.

"Technology far beyond current human imagination lie before us, almost complete," the cyborg said in his thick, accented Japanese. "The greatest secrets of Einstein, hidden for fear of being used for war, are ours."

Igov's smile turned into a grin. "His fears were well-founded. This device is fantastic weapon."

Standing next to him, Alexandra Tokima snorted as she looked down at the metal shell with skepticism in her eyes. "At the moment, it's a fantastic drain on our **budget**. I'm still waiting for any confirmation that this thing can actually do anything like you claim it can."

The Russian didn't seem the least bit upset by his superior's doubts, and the sound of whirling gears emanated from his neck as Igov turned to face her. "Have no fear. Chronosphere almost operational, and when active, will give Angels mobility far beyond limits of conventional technology!"

Alex leaned over the railing of the balcony as she sighed, exposing a great deal of cleavage and incidentally causing several of the male engineers walking by to trip over power cords and crash onto the floor. "I suppose you've never failed to deliver the technology you've promised in the past."

The terrorist general's eyes narrowed as she added. "Even if those technologies have failed to produce the promised results."

"Hm hm hm," Igov chuckled deeply, his voice an iron rumble. "Come now, Miss Tokima. You cannot deny the many gains we make even among defeat? Freedom's Angels now possesses three squadron of armored mecha, new artillery division, small army of cyborg units, and has even procured new android model to add to forces. Angels are feared more than ever among cattle of this city, local crime lords turn to us for weapons, and ranks swell as scum of streets see our men emerge as super-human soldiers. Such treasure we find in ashes of failure, no?"

The Russian gripped his blocky, oversized left hand into a fist as he grinned, the snarl of grinding machinery filling the air around him.

Alex had to admit the cyborg had a point, and even found herself getting somewhat excited at his pontificating before she quashed her unwarranted confidence. Watching Igov in his workshops or in battle, it was easy to think of the General as being more a machine than a man (which was actually true, when one stopped to consider it literally), totally engrossed in either the artifice of construction or killing, respectively. It made one forget that Igov was, first and foremost, a leader of war, and he had talents for inspiring people to walk into the jaws of death that were easily the equal of his knack for engineering.

"It's true that we've had gains while consolidating our power, but the sheer SCALE of this build-up may yet devastate us without our enemies ever firing a shot," Alex complained as she crossed her arms under her breasts. "The cyborg units and the chronosphere were expensive enough, and then you come to me with the plans for MORE robots to build! It's impossible!"

Igov shrugged. "Konta spoke of scaling down android model to make production feasible on proper scale. We are in good place if greatest concern is finding resources to construct our weapons, no?"

"It could be worse, I admit it," the brunette said reluctantly, "but having all this technology does us no good if we don't have the resources to use it! How are we going to address the shortfall? Wraith is limited primarily by who we can trust within the company, and the Freedom's Angels primarily by who we can trust is competent enough to get back to a safehouse without a police convoy behind them."

The Russian nodded. "Igov understand, and has solution." He gestured to the chronosphere. "Chronosphere will make lightning raid simple matter. Securing money and materials will be top priority."

Alex grimaced. "I'd rather not pin the success of our entire military effort on this... thing. A localized time-space subverter to transport vehicles? It's like a science fiction novel threw up in here."

Igov chuckled deeply. "You have doubt. Is understandable. Perhaps it is time to unleash power of chronosphere, then."

* * *

Yamiko Nova turned sharply as the door to the observation center opened with an gentle hiss, and her back straightened as she saw Igov and Alexandra enter the room.

"General. Miss Tokima," she said, inclining her head. "Are you here for a progress report on test batch 7712?"

"Save your 'reports,' we're here to see if the damn thing **works**," Alex snapped, deliberately turning her irritation up a few notches just to needle the Russian woman.

Yamiko bristled, her eyes narrowing. "So then you ARE asking for a report. How else are we supposed to know if it works unless we complete the testing cycle?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe by turning it on?" Alex said humorlessly. Of course, she knew very well that research and prototype development didn't work so simply, but her feigned ignorance succeeded in infuriating Yamiko.

"Turn it on? Oh, of course! And then what will use for a lab after ours gets crushed by a gravitational singularity?" Yamiko groused. "Your office, maybe? It's certainly big and empty enough to hold most of our prototypes..."

Igov quickly tired of the girls' catty banter and cleared his throat as he stepped forward. "Be that as it may, Miss Nova, we will be running our first operational test immediately."

Yamiko's ire quickly switched targets as she rounded on the cyborg. "What? Already? It's impossible!"

Igov wagged a finger back and forth before he smiled. "You forget, Igov already run numerous test batches based on latest output projections. By all indications, is safe to proceed."

"And YOU forget that those test batches small enough to run in your head - no matter how far augmented with micro-processors - only deal with the chronosphere itself and don't include calculations for dealing with the actual temporal breach! We have no idea how safe it is, only that there is a TREMENDOUS number of things that can go wrong at the target area! And you're going to expose us to an operational test WEEKS before we're ready?"

Igov's lips curled into a smirk as he shook his head. "No. Igov will not expose us to operational test. Would be foolhardy to open breach in lab with so many possible dangers."

Alexandra raised an eyebrow. "Then what are you going to do?"

Igov tapped a button on the metal peripheral over his ear, and one of the monitors on the wall - most of them scrolling through reams of numbers and data while others watched technicians tinkering with control panels - flickered before switching to an image of a parking lot.

Yamiko and Alex were both confused as they stared at a single vehicle parked at the edge of the lot, but Alex at least recognized the symbol branded on the side of the car after a moment.

"Ah. This should be interesting," the businesswoman said, her expression twisting into a grin.

* * *

Ranma walked across the parking lot rather stiffly behind a morose-looking Sakura, the blonde woman trying to avoid eye contact even as she led the way to the car designated for their patrol route.

Things had been awkward at best, and icy at worst whenever the blonde had been around recently, and the pigtailed man suspected that Snake's assigning them to patrol together was a thinly-veiled hint for them to talk out their issues and finally put the... incident between him and Akina to rest.

Granted, Sakura never seemed upset at HIM, and in fact was particularly careful not to antagonize him or bring up the incident in question when he was in earshot. He knew she saw him as a victim of Akina's wild urges, but didn't know why she was obsessing over it long after he and Junko had put the actual incident behind them.

He cleared his throat as he got in the passenger's seat of the patrol cruiser and buckled himself in. "So... it's been a while since we've been put on patrol together, huh?"

Sakura winced at how forced Ranma's tone sounded. "Ranma, we've never been on patrol together."

It was true. Given that Ranma was the DAPC's strongest fighter and Sakura seemed almost gifted at holding him back whenever an emergency arose, the martial artist had always been paired with the other officers that either had leadership skills of some sort or could at least extricate themselves from danger if things got hairy.

"Yeah, I guess so," Ranma mumbled, scratching the back of his head under his pigtail. "Heh. Think the guys are trying to tell us something?"

Sakura reached for the ignition key, but then hesitated and seemed to think better of it, resting her hands in her lap as she turned toward Ranma with a serious expression. "I think they are, and I think they're right. Everybody else has practically forgotten what Akina did to you already, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one hung up about this!"

Ranma was about to point out that she WAS the only one still hung up about the incident, when a strange, low-pitched screeching noise came from outside the car.

He started to turn around, but Sakura grabbed his arm, apparently more concerned about the current topic of discussion than she was about the soft blue glow that she caught out of the corner of her eye.

"I can forgive Junko for what happened; it was Akina's fault, after all. But I need to put things right with you first, Ranma. And we need to talk about this NOW."

_SPLOOSH!_ Ranma and Sakura bounced in their seats as the police cruiser broke the surface of the water, swiftly sinking up to its windows as water seeped in through the cracks in the doorway.

Sakura's head whipped around to see what was happening, and her eyes widened in shock and horror as she saw that they were suddenly, somehow, completely surrounded by water stretching out in all directions around them. Glancing about in panic, she could see a strip of land off in the distance, but it seemed hopelessly far away and the water was rising rapidly.

Ranma frowned as he too glanced about. "Well, if we need to talk now, you'd better hurry. We've only got a few minutes of air in here, I think. Also, we'll want to break out before the car sinks too deep."

Sakura continued to gape wordlessly as the surface of the water rose above the top of the windshield, and then her eyes rolled back into her head as she fainted dead away.

"Right. We'll escape first, then," Ranma said to himself as he started unbuckling Sakura from her seat. "Looks like it's gonna be one of those Mondays..."

* * *

Alexandra stared intently at the far monitor in the observation screen, tapping her foot on the floor impatiently. "Well? What happened to the vehicle?"

Yamiko was already poring over a set of readouts scrolling across several other screens simultaneously, and she spared a glance at the monitor which now displayed an empty parking lot. "I don't know. There must have been some inaccuracy or miscalculation in the translation process. They didn't end up where we intended to send them."

Alex snorted in annoyance as she turned away from the screen linked to the camera that oversaw the translation site - a small enclosed space in a junk yard that had been littered with rusty fuel barrels and high explosives that were ready to detonate with a moment's notice.

"So, what? Does that mean that they're dead?" the brunette asked, suddenly intrigued. A weapon that could simply make enemies vanish with unlimited range and complete impunity would actually be just as useful as a teleporter.

Yamiko shook her head. "The Chronosphere doesn't work that way. Matter cannot be created or destroyed, and THAT principle, at least, we haven't breached. The device actually moves the matter by linking two probability spaces and translating an object by reducing the time to get from one space to another to zero, not by actually moving or deconstructing the object itself."

Alex didn't really understand any of that, except that it was unlikely the two hapless officers had been killed in their sudden and unexpected trip. "Huh. So it successfully teleported them, but we have no idea where."

Yamiko nodded. "The chronosphere did complete a full operation cycle, so they definitely completed the chronoshift. And there was less quantum wave variance than expected, so they probably ended up somewhere relatively close to where we TRIED to send them."

Igov's only eyebrow rose slightly as he glanced at her. "How close? Some variation in destination coordinates is acceptable for strategic use."

Yamiko frowned. "Oh, I'd say they couldn't have gone more than... two hundred kilometers off target."

Igov's face fell. "That not within acceptable parameters at all."

The Russian woman flushed slightly. "Well, I said they ended up **relatively** close. We ARE talking about a device with a global range, you know."

"So we have a device that can teleport a vehicle SOMEWHERE within any country of our choosing, hmm?" Alex said, crossing her arms under her breasts. "Well, it might be good for vacations, at least. A trip to Europe is SUCH a long flight, you know?"

Yamiko's expression grew heated under Alexandra's sarcasm. "Look, I TOLD you that the chronosphere wasn't ready for an operational test yet! Give us some time to check the formulas and dig through the data for errors."

Igov nodded firmly. "Indeed. That chronosphere work at all is great victory for us." Then the general grinned. "Besides, if nothing else, is rather useful for getting rid of obnoxious person, no?"

"Hmm. Well, I suppose it's enough for now," the brunette allowed, her tone quite deliberately indulgent and derisive. "I'll continue to support the project, but I expect workable results within a few days."

Yamiko's eyebrow twitched, but she nodded reluctantly. "That's... fine. A few days." It was unlikely that any of the project heads would want to leave the chronosphere alone after a partially successful field test anyway, so it wasn't an unreasonable time frame.

Igov grinned as he rubbed his chin. "Igov will compile target list and ready deployment teams." He set his shoulders as his cybernetic eye glowed a bright, bloody red. "Rejoice, comrades! Once again, leap in technology has revolutionized the pace and mechanics of war, and we stand at cusp of new era in combat!"

"I'll save my rejoicing when I have my lab back to myself," Yamiko mumbled just loud enough for Alex to hear.

Alexandra, for one, WAS quite thrilled at the strategic opportunities now afforded to her, and allowed a dark chuckle to escape her lips. "Oh, yes. This should be an eventful week..."

* * *

"BWAH!" Sakura gasped mightily as she burst from the surface of the water, her thin, soaked hands grabbing desperately for one of the slimy, sea-worn ropes hanging from the side of the wooden dock.

After she got a decent enough grip, she felt herself being pushed up from the water, and she reached up to grab the edge of the dock itself before hauling herself atop the first solid surface she had touched in almost half an hour.

As she lay on the dock, heaving and spitting up water, Ranma pulled himself up behind her, falling heavily onto the rickety wood before collapsing into a sitting position.

"Phew! Didn't expect to start the day with marathon swimming," he mumbled as he picked at his soaked uniform. Turning toward Sakura, he said approvingly. "By the way, you actually have a pretty good swimming form." She had actually done half the swim herself once she had woken up from her faint, though she looked fairly exhausted from the unexpected exertion.

"High school... swim club... one hundred meter... freestyle... silver medal..." the blonde gasped out between breaths as she finally started to get her second wind.

"Not bad," Ranma said as he started wringing out his pigtail. "So anyway, you wanted to talk, right? About the thing between me and Akina?"

Sakura blinked rapidly as she recalled the earlier discussion that had been cut short by the sudden emergency. "Oh, right. It's just that, now that Akina's taken a very aggressive move on you, I feel like I've been a passive-"

Then she whirled around, her expression incredulous. "Wait, who cares about that now? What the hell happened? Where are we?"

Ranma blinked. "We're in Tokyo Bay. I'm not sure which port, though," he said unhelpfully.

"How did we get here?" Sakura shouted as she held her head, as if trying to physically keep her remaining concepts of reality from escaping her brain. "One second we were in the parking lot at HQ, and then..."

"Yeah, I don't really know anything about that," Ranma admitted as he stood up, "and on that note, what are we going to do now? We're out a patrol car, soaked, and I think there might be paperwork involved when you're suddenly zapped a dozen kilometers out into the ocean."

Sakura frowned as she stuck her hand into her pocket, giving a disgusted grunt as the water within overflowed and splashed down onto the dock.

Taking out her cell phone, she grimaced as she found it, as expected, completely unresponsive. "Do they still have pay phones in the city?" the blonde asked as she tossed the useless device over her shoulder and into the water that had disabled it.

"Dunno. But first we should find some dry clothes," Ranma mumbled. "Besides, I don't think there's any hurry. Snake's in charge right now, and he wouldn't care unless there were actual enemies to fight."

Sakura groaned. "That's true... I really hope Captain Takami gets better soon..."

* * *

_Ding dong!_

Asuka grimaced as her door bell rang, and she put aside the latest in a long series of TV dinners before standing up from the couch where she had been so comfortably relaxing.

"I swear, this better not be a salesperson," the bluette grumbled as she approached her front door and pulled it open.

"Captain! Hello!" Seras said happily from where he stood outside Asuka's door, a large steel case lying next to him.

Asuka stared for a few seconds, and then she hung her head. "I take it back. I wish it were a salesperson," she said miserably.

"Eh? What are you talking about? I'm here to visit you!" Seras said, fishing around in his pocket for his ever-present flask.

"That's very kind of you!" Asuka said brightly. "Thanks! Bye!" She then made to close the door.

_Thunk!_ Her escape was foiled as the steel case was shoved between the door and the frame, blocking it open.

"Oh, don't be like that! I can help!"

Asuka grimaced. "Thanks, but the doctors - meaning those with actual DEGREES in medicine - said that I should get plenty of rest, and right now you're disturbing me."

"Psht! Those so-called 'doctors' couldn't even heal something as simple as a bullet wound! If it were left up to me, I'd have you healed and combat-ready within an hour!"

"Uh huh. How's that, exactly?" the bluette said, obviously not believing a word of it.

Seras grinned. "I'm glad you asked." Then he shouldered his way through the door and into her house.

Asuka grumbled under her breath as Seras walked into the living room, taking stock of the place.

"Boy, you're living a bachelor's lifestyle, aren't you?" the drunkard asked before taking a hit from his flask. "I haven't seen so much trash piled up since... well, since the last time I was home, actually."

"Why are you here?" Asuka demanded, massaging her shoulder.

Seras nodded. "Right, right. Sit down, please." He pointed to the sofa.

Asuka hesitantly did as asked, keeping her eyes on the DA's medical officer warily.

"So. How's the shoulder been?" Seras asked.

"It's getting better. I no longer need bandages or have to restrict my arm's motion, but it still hurts whenever I move my arm, so I try to stay immobile as possible," Asuka explained.

Seras nodded again, and then brought the steel case out and onto the coffee table in the middle of the living room. "Got it. You've actually healed further than I'd hoped, but that's fine."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Seras opened the case, and then took out a hypodermic syringe capped with a red disc at the end that had a small white cross painted on it and the DAPC logo on the other side.

As she stared at the needle warily, Asuka noticed that it actually had two liquid cylinders rather than the usual one, both of which apparently fed into the needle. One liquid was a bright green, while the other was a light blue.

"Soooo... what is that?" Asuka demanded, hugging her arms reflexively. She wasn't particularly scared of needles, but she was VERY scared of what Seras could do to her either through malicious intent or drunken incompetence. "Tell me you're not going to stick me with that."

"I could tell you that, but lying is wrong," Seras said unapologetically as he removed the syringe cap. "Besides, there's nothing to be afraid of! This is a new creation that I've brought to you that will lay low all your medical concerns and forever more protect our soldiers from threat of all but the most drastic bodily harm! I present to you the stimpack!"

"Fascinating. A true marvel," Asuka deadpanned. "Can you leave now?"

"Without fixing you up? Don't be ridiculous!" Seras said as he approached the police captain, the syringe reaching out ahead of him.

"Wait wait WAIT! What exactly is in that thing?" Asuka demanded.

Seras blinked. "Oh! Right! I completely forgot to tell you how I developed it!" He straightened and gestured to his new creation. "You remember how I said that Saotome's body has a special type of blood cell that can create a superior healing agent to reconstruct damaged tissue? Well, I managed to synthesize his R-virus from a blood sample! With this injection, a person will be instantly flooded with hypercells that will immediately repair any bodily damage in minutes, if not seconds! Imagine, fixing a punctured lung with the jab of a needle and jumping back into a firefight moments later! Not only can this save lives by reversing mortal wounds in the field, but it allows soldiers to return to combat-ready status in moments where before they would be out of action for weeks, maybe even months!"

Seras then leaned forward again. "So stay still and witness this medical miracle of the new age for yourself!"

Asuka apparently did not feel inclined to do so, as she grabbed Seras' wrist and halted the stimpack's approach toward her skin.

"Wait. Hold it," Asuka mumbled as she massaged her forehead with her free hand. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say that the R-virus creates hypercells from T-virus organisms?"

"Ah! You WERE paying attention!" Seras said cheerfully. "Yes! That's right. So?"

Asuka's eyebrow twitched. "So that means that this green stuff in the stimpack, which you intend to inject into me, is-"

"T-virus, yes," Seras said. "It'll be completely neutralized by the R-virus! It was necessary to separate before injection, though, since both prerequisite organisms can hibernate safely in a neutralizing gel, but the hypercells cannot. So the hypercells are created on the spot to maximize their life cycle and any healing effects. No need to worry!"

"OF COURSE I'M WORRIED!" Asuka screamed, throwing the scientist back. "Maybe if I was dying of a punctured lung, MAYBE I would consider injecting that crap into myself, but there's no way I'm going to risk it to avoid another week of mild discomfort!"

"Stop being unreasonable! It's perfectly safe!" Seras said as he approached again.

"I don't care! Get away!" Asuka screamed, grabbing a sofa pillow and hurling it into the drunkard's face.

Seras staggered backward from the rather soft assault, and then his expression hardened as he advanced once more. "Now Captain, please understand that this isn't just for your own good! The completion of a human test is vital not only to your expedited recovery, but the advancement of the stimpack as a recognized tool of medicine!"

Asuka's expression turned ashen as the full extent of Seras' laxity became clear. "You haven't even tested it on humans yet?" she said, her voice nearly cracking in fear. "What are you thinking? You can't use that on me!"

"Oh, come on! It worked on the rats!" Seras protested as he took a wide stance to better block any attempt to flee.

"You can't go straight from rodents to humans, idiot! Especially not with an ingredient that dangerous!" the bluette shouted. "Besides! You did the rat tests with Ranma's actual blood sample, not your 'synthesized' R-virus!"

Seras blinked. "Oh. Oh, yeah. That's a good point, actually." Then his expression grew even more determined. "Then that makes this test even MORE important!"

"GAH!" Asuka bolted for the kitchen, her heart pounding as she ran for a certain drawer next to her silverware.

"Would you calm down?" Seras demanded as he followed his superior officer, his free hand rummaging in his coat, "I'm, like, NINETY percent sure that all my calculations were perfect! There's no danger at all, here!"

Asuka yanked out the drawer she had stopped at, and then slipped her hand through the many layers of dish towels to the very back, where her hand closed around hard plastic.

As she pulled the 9 millimeter pistol from its hiding place however, her right arm suddenly seized up in protest at all the sudden activity, and tears flooded her eyes as she fought to keep herself from crying out.

The moment of hesitation cost her dearly though, and she couldn't help herself from crying out as a severe electric jolt shook her body and sent her to the floor in a convulsing heap.

Seras clicked his tongue as he tossed aside the stun gun, annoyed that he had been forced to take his captain down in order to do something as simple as administer medicine. "Stop being such a baby. I even have a back-up dose of R-virus just in case the stimpack doesn't take."

Asuka merely grunted in pain, her twitching hand slowly reaching for the handgun that had fallen onto the tile floor next to her.

"Now this will only hurt for a moment," the drunken doctor said as he seized the woman's arm and then rolled back her sleeve.

"You bastard... I'm gonna... have you shot... for this!" Asuka promised through clenched teeth.

"And with any luck, I'll have a stimpack handy to heal myself!" Seras said cheerfully as he finally jabbed the needle into Asuka's hurt shoulder and injected the fluids within.

Asuka's breathing went heavy as she felt the syringe pierce her skin, and she curled up as her injury throbbed more painfully than ever before.

Seras backed away in satisfaction, tucking the empty syringe into the pocket of his lab coat. "There. Now all we have to do is wait as your remaining muscle damage vanishes like a bad dream! You might feel some slight discomfort as the hypercells properly modify your cellular structure, but the process shouldn't be painful."

Asuka gasped, her skin breaking out in a cold sweat. "Definitely... painful!"

"Oh. Huh." The part-time mad scientist frowned. "Maybe I should mix a mild anesthetic into the R-virus solution. That might subdue the viruses, though... Maybe a catalytic agent that would bond with the hypercells? Bleagh, that would take a whole other testing and production phase."

He continued mumbling to himself as Asuka laid on the floor trembling, and after nearly a full minute, he finally shrugged and turned his attention back to the police captain. "Well, nonetheless, soon you should be back... on... your... feet?"

Seras trailed off as Asuka slowly lurched upward, sweat dripping down her face and her eyes wild and unfocused.

He started to back away as the bluette got to her feet, his hands shaking. "N... No way... my calculations... should have been perfect! How-"

He was cut off as Asuka released a feral roar, and he flinched from the noise right before the police captain shoulder-charged him, knocking the drunkard painfully onto his back.

Seras started patting the floor next to him desperately for his stun gun, but was stopped when Asuka stomped painfully on his wrist.

"It failed? But... I can't believe... it actually failed..." Seras mumbled weakly as he stared up into Asuka's feral, hateful eyes.

"Actually, it worked perfectly," the police captain said through clenched teeth.

Seras blinked. "Wait. What?"

_Whump!_ The scientist squeaked in pain and curled up as Asuka kicked him hard in the stomach.

"You heard me. The experiment was a success. I feel good as new. It even cured the paralysis from the stun gun," the bluette said as she backed away from the DA's medical officer and walked toward her discarded pistol. "Now it's time for its second live test. You can't seriously field something like this on the basis that it reduces muscle pain, can you?"

"H-Hey. Wait a minute," Seras said, bigsweating as he watched Asuka flip off the safety. "I wasn't serious about what I said before..."

"But I was," Asuka said, a dark smile crossing her face. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to remove the slugs before I administer the stimpack. Ready?"

"No, I'm not. I said I'm not ready! STOP! WAIT! HEEEEEEEELP!"

* * *

"So after I kicked out the door, the water all rushed in and I carried Sakura to the surface of the ocean," Ranma said as he leaned over a pay phone, looking annoyed. The pigtailed man was shirtless at the moment, wearing only his still-wet pants as he scrubbed the salt water out of his hair with a souvenir towel. "After that me and Sakura swam back to the docks. We're both okay, but the car and everything in it is gone."

_Dude, really. I know you're not much of a driver and Tekai is a failure at everything she does, but incompetence has its limits,_ said Snake's voice from the receiver, _If you're going to drive a patrol car into the ocean, you should at least have the gumption to do it on purpose, like Tycho does._

Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "No, Snake, you're not listening to me. We DIDN'T drive it into the ocean. We didn't even start moving before we appeared over the water outside Tokyo Bay."

_Then how did you get there?_

"We don't KNOW. That's the problem," Ranma groused. "I heard kind of a crackling, screeching noise, but that was it. One moment, parking lot. Next moment, splash."

_That's totally ridiculous._

"No, it's totally ridiculous that YOU have control of a space laser that can destroy entire city blocks," Ranma deadpanned, "at worst this rates as 'really weird'."

_Well, technically I don't **control** it. And it's not a laser, it's-_

"It's beside the point, Snake!" the pigtailed man yelled into the receiver. "Something or someone nearly sent me and Sakura to the bottom of the ocean, and we don't even know how! We need to do something about this!"

The voice on the other end was silent for a few seconds. _Like what?_

"Like we need to get Captain Takami back on her feet so that someone who knows what they're doing can lead us," Ranma mumbled.

_It's not that I'm unsympathetic, I mean, I'll gladly admit that I'm pretty awful at this leadership thing, but that's not really a workable solution. It's not like we can just give the captain some weird medicine and instantly heal..._

Ranma frowned as Snake trailed off. "Snake? Yo, you there?"

_Wait, hold on._ Snake said as Ranma heard background conversation and some yelling. _Huh. Can I actually get back to you on this instant healing thing?_

Ranma blinked. "What?"

_Right. Call me back in half an hour, okay? Bye._

Ranma stared blankly at the receiver in his hand, and then sighed as he hung up. "I knew he wouldn't take this seriously. Man..."

Ranma took issue with Snake far less than any sane individual really should, but Snake's usefulness ended the moment he was out of a battlefield.

Still, it was weird how he had seemed to reconsider the prospect of Asuka magically getting back on her feet in no time.

Ranma slipped the towel around his neck and shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked to the cafe at the other side of the street. Sakura was sitting at a table by herself, nursing a cup of tea. She had shed her old outfit entirely and was wearing a T-shirt over a white one-piece bathing suit.

"Well, Snake wasn't any help. I don't think he even cares," Ranma mumbled as he sat down opposite the blonde. "So... do you wanna go back to HQ or go home? I don't think there's much point in being out here if we don't even have a patrol car, and without the captain being back, nobody will care if we don't come back for the day."

Sakura frowned as she sipped her tea silently, and then put her cup down.

"I don't suppose there's anything we can do. We don't know much more than he does," she admitted. "But still, I feel like this is really important, somehow. I don't think that whatever happened to us happened by chance."

Ranma nodded grimly. "I know. I hope the others are gonna be okay while we're away."

"Well, while you're away, anyhow," Sakura mumbled. She seriously doubted that any kind of force with access to a teleporter would consider HER a threat to be removed.

She took another sip of her tea, and a light flush came over her face. "Well... as long as we're stuck out here for now... I think we should have that talk."

The pigtailed boy braced himself as he nodded again. "All right... so..." he scrubbed his head with his hand as he glanced about uncomfortably. "I guess I should say that I really appreciate you not blaming me for what happened between me and Junko. Or, uh, Akina, I guess."

Sakura looked taken aback. "What? Why would I blame you for that?" she asked incredulously. "Akina used her psychic powers to pin you down and then forced herself on you! It must have been awful!"

Ranma sweatdropped heavily at the pronouncement. Being jumped by Akina had been frightening and a bit emasculating, but besides that it had been decidedly pleasant. "Er... right. Well, even so, I usually end up taking responsibility for these kinds of things."

The blonde officer shook her head. "It wasn't your fault, Ranma. I know you probably could have stopped her by force, but I wouldn't expect you to..." she trailed off for a moment. "In any case, I feel like I'm the only one who's been standing in the background, waiting."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "I don't follow."

"Kotetsu got you to take her out to dinner, even if that didn't really work out, and I don't think Akina's affection for you has been satisfied for good." Her face darkened. "Besides that, I know for a fact that Junko likes you too. She holds back mostly for my sake, but if you ever dropped your guard, she'd be all over you."

Ranma grimaced. He'd learned a long time ago to temper his reactions against overly amorous women - living around an enamored Amazon did that to a person - which helped him brush off Junko most of the time, but he was also aware that the redhead was far more of a seductress than Shampoo ever was, and had an uncanny understanding of the men of the DAPC. He wasn't sure he would be able to stand up to her if she made a real pass at him.

"But I... I like you too, Ranma," Sakura said, intertwining her fingers as her face heated up.

"Yeah. I... kinda noticed," Ranma mumbled, looking embarrassed himself. He had never been good at serious discussion, and romance was his least favorite topic.

"At first it was a simple infatuation," the blonde murmured as she ran a hand through her hair, "but there's so much more to you than your looks or your strength. When I'm around you I feel... safe. Like nothing in the world can touch me. And sometimes I feel stronger myself just from being by your side, like... like some sort of energy rolls off of you, filling me up and keeping me warm..."

Ranma fought to keep his face neutral, wondering what he was supposed to say in these situations. Drama wasn't his strong suit, damnit! "That was probably... well, I'm sure it was my aura. It's mostly confidence."

"Yes, exactly! It's like an aura!" Sakura said, bobbing her head.

"No, it IS an aura. I can show you right now if you want," Ranma offered, trailing off as he realized that Sakura wasn't really listening to him as she talked.

"I want to be with you, Ranma. Would..." she gulped nervously. "Would you want to be with someone like me?"

"Okay, yeah. We can try that," Ranma mumbled just as nervously. "I mean, why not?"

When he really thought about it, it was hard to work out how he felt about Sakura. Or how he felt about any of the girls in his life. It was simply his natural tendency not to think about a girl romantically until he had it shoved in his face...

Or when he was under the influence of mysterious retroviruses. That had been a strange evening.

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I know that I can be troublesome sometimes, and well, I want to be... more to you than just someone to be protected."

Ranma nodded hesitantly. "I... I can do that," he said seriously. "If you feel that way, then sure. Uh..."

He hesitated again, wondering what to say. He had been faced with this sort of situation many times before, but every time there had been something holding him back, some barrier between him and the girl in question.

That wasn't the case anymore. Ranma Saotome was free from the obligations of his family, free from the entanglements of his miserable past.

"I guess I should warn you, though," Ranma said suddenly, "girls that get close to me tend to get kidnapped a lot."

Sakura blinked. "Really? Do you go after them and overcome mortal danger to save them heroically?" she asked, her eyes brightening.

"Oh, all the time. You wouldn't believe some of the weirdos I've had to beat up because someone I know got kidnapped," Ranma said, sighing.

Sakura giggled as she leaned back in her chair. "Oh, I think I'd believe it. We've seen our share of weirdos too, right?"

"Yeah, but my weirdos had character," Ranma explained, an unfamiliar note of nostalgia entering his voice as he reminisced about his horrible past, "they weren't just lame-brained terrorists or disposable mutants. They had unique fighting styles and really stupid back stories and usually a half-assed reason for blaming their problems on me."

Sakura blinked. "That... almost sounds like more trouble than armies of bloodthirsty monsters."

"Oh, was it ever," he groused, "and I didn't have Snake around to gun down his share, either." Then he leaned back in his seat. "Anyway, things are a lot calmer now, even with all the terrorists and fighting and such. At least I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something when I win a battle, you know?"

"I could see that. Though I still think it's hard to top our current job as far as weird battles," Sakura said, sighing wearily, "I mean, seriously, our car got shunted out into the sea! How could things get stranger than that?"

"DEAR GOD! SOMEBODY HELP!" came a scream from behind the pair, causing Sakura to flinch.

"Fish men! There are goddamn fish men in the harbor!"

"It bit me! I need help!"

The two officers turned around and stared as a trio of men, two of them covered in blue slime and one of them obviously injured, raced down the docks in a panic, screaming wildly as other people quickly averted their eyes and started moving the other way.

"I was asking for that, wasn't I?" Sakura moaned as she collapsed onto the table.

Ranma shrugged and picked up his still-damp shirt and body armor. "Eh, it could've happened to anyone. C'mon, let's go take care of it before we head back to HQ."

* * *

"You know, I should have expected this, but I didn't," Sakura said as she and Ranma approached the dock warehouse, the former following closely behind the latter while peeking over his shoulder.

"What? You mean the salty-smelling goop everywhere?" Ranma asked as he observed the front of the dilapidated wooden building. Puddles of translucent blue ooze lay everywhere, emanating a stench that he would have identified as fresh fish, but five times stronger.

"No, I mean this. Walking into a possibly monster-infested warehouse while barely armed to investigate something," Sakura said bitterly, "somehow I thought that after we'd cleared up our feelings and became a couple that we'd immediately go on a wonderful date, or take off on a vacation with just the two of us, and all of this bloodshed and paranormal nonsense would sort of fade into the background, if it even kept happening at all."

"Well, this is kind of our job," Ranma reasoned as he tugged at the doorknob to the main warehouse, only to find that it was stuck shut, "besides, our day started with being teleported into the ocean. We can't really just brush that off and go cuddle."

"Yeah, I guess not. My fault," the blonde grumbled.

"This door's stuck. I could break it open, but every freak in and around this place is going to hear it," Ranma mumbled. "Whaddya think?"

"I think we should leave and tell Captain Takami, so she can make Snake come here and level the place," Sakura said.

"No ideas, then," Ranma deadpanned, "fine. Let's go around to the side. I saw some high windows, so I should be able to get a look inside first."

"What should I do?" Sakura asked. "Should I go back to the payphone and call for backup?"

"NO," Ranma said firmly as he led Sakura around the side of the building, "if you leave my sight now, you're sure to get hurt or captured. We're already in enemy territory, so we need to stay together."

"I think you've been hanging around Snake too much," Sakura said as she followed him, "you treat these jobs like they're part of some sort of comic adventure or-" her breath caught in her throat as her foot caught on something, and the blonde officer glanced down to see that she had stepped in one of the slime puddles, which had apparently stuck to her heel like glue.

Ranma gently climbed up a stack of old crates standing next to the side of the warehouse, and peeked inside the main warehouse.

"It's hard to see with that goop everywhere, but I think I see something sleeping on the floor," Ranma whispered down to his companion, "if they're not aware of us, then-"

"EEEEK!"

Ranma's head whipped around at the sound of Sakura's screech, and he groaned as he saw something large and green hop off the dock and into the water with Sakura grasped between its arms.

He didn't get a good look at the monster, but it seemed tall in humanoid and covered in dark green scales.

'We haven't even been together an hour. That's definitely a record,' Ranma thought as he launched himself up into the air and then dove straight into the ocean after the beast.

Ranma searched about after breaking the surface, but found the water unusually cloudy and hard to see through, probably on account of that weird slime that had infested the place.

'Damn. Okay, just concentrate for a moment,' Ranma thought to himself as he closed his eyes, trying to "see" with thoughts through a cascade of energy and emotions.

'Ah, there she is!' Ranma thought, sensing Sakura's fear moving swiftly underneath the building. He stopped to feel the aura of her captor a bit, and was surprised to sense an almost equal amount of fear. Fear and... hate? It was dull, more akin to an animal's spirit than a human's, but its emotions were still quite clear to Ranma's senses.

Quickly swimming after the captive policewoman, Ranma swam up under the warehouse, moving close enough that he could see the fiberglass bottom clearly as he followed the mysterious abductor.

Despite the visibility getting worse as Ranma swam along, before he had run out of air he found an opening that had been gouged out of the floor of the building. Figuring that it was either this or forcing his way in the front door, Ranma threw caution to the wind and rushed up through the opening, promptly breaking the surface of the water.

"Pwah!" Though he had meant to try and stay stealthy, the martial artist couldn't help but gasp as he reached fresh air again. Or rather, breathable air. The smell that had dominated the exterior was much stronger inside, so much so that it immediately dominated his senses before he could even manage a look around.

When he did manage to look around, he didn't like what he saw.

A single humanoid creature stared down at him through a single large, black eye mounted over a wide mouth full of small, sharp teeth. Fins were mounted on either side of the head, and all down the creature's back, which were mostly green like the monster but turned lighter in shade as they extended from the body. Other than that it was a simple humanoid, tall and gangly with dull green scales and long, curved claws on the end of its webbed fingers.

Ranma waited patiently as they stared at each other, each one waiting for the other to act.

The creature, either getting bore or sensing an opportunity, went first, and Ranma ducked back down into the water as it swiped at him.

Blinking its single fishbowl eye, the monster, which Ranma decided to call a sea cyclops if they had not been identified yet, slunk slowly to its knees and then braced its hands around the opening in the floor before dunking its face in a moment later.

_SPLOOSH!_ In a horrific and mortally ironic reversal of roles, a pair of human arms promptly burst from the water and seized the monster's shoulders, and its legs flailed uselessly as it was suddenly pulled under.

The water splashed violently for a few seconds, and then went still.

"PWAH!" Ranma once again burst from the surface of the water, this time covered with his skin stained blue from the dense concentration of monster gook in the water.

'Just great. They must squirt this stuff as a defense mechanism or something. It practically exploded out of it when I snapped its neck,' Ranma thought as he pulled himself up into the warehouse, trying to ignore the almost overwhelming smell. It seemed the gunk lost its adhesive properties in salt water, so Ranma wasn't hindered any more than he would be normally from being wet, but the stench made him slightly dizzy.

Looking around the warehouse interior, Ranma frowned. There were more puddles of slime and many puddles of water, but no sign of Sakura, and no way to tell where she had gone.

He also noticed that some of the slime had actually been piled up into mounds in the corners of the warehouse, and he walked up to the mounds curiously.

Ranma grimaced once he got a good look at the slime piles; they were filled with small, round orbs about the size of baseballs.

"Sea cyclops eggs. Great. Filthy fish-men are reproducing," the pigtailed man grumbled.

Suddenly his danger sense alerted him to an incoming threat, and the martial artist whirled around just as a wad of slime splashed onto the ground in front of him, splattering over his feet and ankles.

"Aw, c'mon!" Ranma complained as he pulled one foot away, only to see long, thick strings of goo stretch from his leg to the floor. There was no way he'd be making his usual array of maneuvers so long as he was attached to the ground.

Glancing up, he saw the sea cyclops that had launched the projectile drop to the floor from where it had shot at him from the wall. Ranma wasn't sure if it had been there the whole time or if it had stealthily entered after he did, but he gave the monster credit for managing to take him by surprise.

"All right, fish-face. What're you gonna do now?" Ranma taunted, beckoning to the creature with a finger. These creatures were stronger than a human, certainly, but Ranma was completely confident he could grapple one into submission without having to move his legs.

The sea cyclops stared for a few seconds, and then its neck bulged ominously.

_Splack!_ Ranma winced as another ball of slime impacted his knee, the excess goop running down his leg to merge with the batch around his ankle.

"Okay, so what? You trying to gross me out to death?" Ranma mumbled.

_Spluck!_

Ranma's eyebrow twitched as more slime slowly ran down his stomach. "Cut that out."

_Spack!_

"Quit it!" Ranma growled as he wiped a wad of slime off his chest, only to find it sticking to his hands.

_Squick!_

"Grrrrrr..." Ranma's aura started to glow a bright blue around the patches of dark blue that now half-covered him, and his eyes narrowed as he watched the sea cyclops' throat swell once again.

"SUCK HOT AURA AND DIE, FREAK!" the martial artist screamed as he thrust both hands forward. The patches of slime that covered him seemed to explode off in all directions as the portions touching Ranma directly instantly burnt away, and a coruscating ball of blue energy - containing a rather unhealthy-looking streak of red - sailed through the air toward the sea cyclops.

"HYEEEARGH!" _WHOOM!_

The wall buckled behind and around the strange creature as the orb of force smashed into it, but did not break completely before the energy dissipated in a burst of blue sparks. The sea cyclops slowly broke free of the indentation, is body fatally crushed and trailing smoke.

_Thwud!_

Ranma was about to approach the creature and make sure it was dead, when he suddenly heard a gasp come from behind him.

Whirling around yet again, he was relieved to see Sakura, unsettled to see another sea cyclops holding her, and quite perplexed to see a young human girl, maybe ten years old, standing in front of both of them, tears in her eyes. They had apparently come from the office located behind the main warehouse space, as Ranma could see an open door behind them.

"You killed Tama-chan!" the unknown girl said, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

Ranma blinked. "Probably, but I'll need a sec to make sure. Wait here."

The girl gaped (and even Sakura was fairly nonplussed) as Ranma walked across the length of the warehouse and crouched in front of the sea cyclops he had just blasted before prodding it with his finger.

"Hmm... yup. It's dead," Ranma declared, jabbing it harder in the chest and feeling the rib cage fold easily from where it had been crushed from the force.

"Stop! Please stop!" the little girl cried, "they won't hurt you!"

Ranma stared for a few seconds at the girl, and then glanced over to Sakura and the beast that was still holding her. It was noticeably larger than the others, with great, arching fins over its head and back.

"Are you sure about that?" Ranma asked skeptically.

Sakura finally spoke up, though her voice was weak from a combination of the awful smell and her proximity to the monster behind her. "This is Yumi. She... She says that the sea men have-"

"Sea cyclops," Ranma corrected.

"What?"

"They're called sea cyclops," Ranma repeated.

Sakura blinked. "Huh? So you've fought one of these before?"

"Yeah. About two minutes ago, when I broke the other one's neck," Ranma said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I named the species then. So they're sea cyclops now."

Yumi gasped and slapped her hands to her cheeks. "Gomu-chan!"

"So, first things first," Ranma said, clapping his hands together before the little girl could continue wailing at him, "do you need to be rescued? And then, second of all, what's this girl's problem?"

"Ugh..." Sakura sweatdropped as she timidly looked behind her. The finned sea cyclops seemed to be waiting patiently, but its claws were still wrapped tight around the hapless blonde, and every breath blew a hot stream of salty air over her back, reminding her of how close she was to being ripped in half.

"It's more of a 'want' than a 'need', I guess?" Sakura mumbled bleakly.

"Good enough," Ranma said, finally drawing one of his kodachi from the sheath on his calf, "if you just stay still, then-"

"NOOO! Stop! Please stop it, Mister!" Yumi cried, suddenly jumping between Ranma and the beast and jumping up and down. "Don't hurt Butsu-chan!"

"Good grief, did she really name every one of these scaly freaks?" Ranma grumbled as he straightened, glaring down at the girl.

"Yeah, okay, we should probably explain her before any rescuing," Sakura said with a depressed sigh, "she's been playing with the sea cyclops for several days, apparently. They've been nesting in this warehouse which hasn't been used in several months, but the new fishing season just started, and the fisherman came to clean it out. The sea cyclops attacked and drove them off, and then..."

As Sakura trailed off, Yumi nodded her head emphatically. "Yeah! It's not their fault! They were just defending their nest! You shouldn't hurt them!"

"Ah, I get it," Ranma said, rubbing his chin with his hand, "but seriously, that thing needs to let go of Sakura."

Yumi breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at the sea cyclops. "It's okay, Butsu-chan! You and your babies are safe, now!"

The repulsive creature let out a gurgling noise, and then finally released its iron grip on Sakura.

The blonde police officer stumbled away immediately, shivering at the wet patches of blue slime that clung to her torn and damp clothing.

"Say, were there just those three here?" Ranma asked as he approached the girls.

Yumi nodded. "Yuh-huh! But soon there will be lots more! Butsu-chan is gonna have a huge family!" the girl said cheerfully, smiling.

Sakura took the girl by the shoulders and then started to lead her forward toward the entrance. "Yeah... about that... Yumi, I'm afraid things aren't that simple. They can't have their babies here."

Yumi blinked as she looked up at the blonde. "What? Why not?"

"Well, for starters, they occupy our buildings, will attack humans that get too close, kidnap women for no apparent reason, are ugly as Hell, and they STINK," Ranma mumbled as he stepped past the girls, a stoic expression on his face. "Plus, there's way too many eggs here. If all of these hatched, these things could infest the entire bay."

"To be more formal about it," Sakura continued as she kept leading Yumi toward the back door, which was already open, "this warehouse belongs to the fishermen that were chased out of it, not the sea cyclops. It might seem unfair, but human economic rights are more important than the rights of non-humans to live and breed where they want."

The little girl frowned. "I... I don't understand..."

_Shwunk!_ "REAAAARGH!"

Yumi's eyes widened as a monstrous growl came from behind, and she tried to turn around, but Sakura's grip held surprisingly firm as she guided the girl forward.

"Wait! What's happening to Butsu-chan?" Yumi asked in a panic.

"Don't worry about Butsu-chan," Sakura cooed gently, "Ranma's just going to send her back where she came from."

"Gah! Dammit, I think this one has two hearts! Ow!"

"HREAAAALGH!"

"If you spit more of that blue crap on me, I SWEAR I'll rip your gills out before I finish you!"

Sakura finally managed to push Yumi out the door, and then kicked it closed behind them. "Come on, let's find your parents. And then we'll see about getting you a puppy or something. Seriously..."

* * *

"We're back," mumbled Ranma and Sakura as they staggered through the front doors of the DAPC headquarters.

The latter was soaked and had bits of seaweed clinging to her hair, and her swimsuit was torn in several places, forcing the blonde to hug a towel around her chest to keep from exposing too much skin.

Ranma seemed worse off, bearing a few bloody gashes around his arms and shoulders while he was covered in streaks of dark blue that stained his skin like ink.

The first thing the pair noticed when they entered was that the other officers of their department were lazing about on the couch next to the lobby, but seemed to be waiting for something rather than simply goofing off.

The second thing they noticed was that there was a table set up in front of the group, which had several test tubes sitting on it filled with a bright green fluid.

The third thing they noticed, once they revisited the first thing, was that Asuka Takami was amongst those waiting, and conspicuously not wearing a cast as she gulped down a cup of coffee.

"Captain! You're all right!" Sakura said, brightening instantly.

"Well, well, looks like the kids came back from their little make-out session," Snake mumbled, casting the pair a wry glance.

"We're wet, injured, and we smell like dead fish," Ranma deadpanned, "what could possibly lead you to believe that we were fooling around while we were gone?"

"Well, that's the only plausible explanation if we're going to discount that nonsense story about you spontaneously teleporting out into the ocean," Tycho reasoned.

"That's not all that happened!" Sakura said, pouting as she tightened the towel around herself, "We also became a couple!"

_SSSPSH!_ Asuka promptly spit out a jet of coffee into Kyle's face, pre-empting his own response.

"Wait, so... you WERE making out?" Tiro asked, looking confused.

"No!" Sakura said as Ranma winced from the suddenly intense stares, "l mean, we might have, but then sea monsters attacked. That's why Ranma's all blue."

"Because you didn't get to make out?" Junko guessed.

"Not sad! Look! I'm literally bl-"

Ranma was cut off as Seras suddenly burst into the room, immediately followed by a curiously familiar guy in a blood-stained lab coat.

"Finally! You've all gathered here!" Seras said, a wide grin on his face as he spread his arms wide. "Ladies and gentlemen! Today we embark on a new era of sci-"

"Shut up geek! We're in the middle of something, here!" Tycho growled as Kyle lightly smacked Asuka on the back to help her clear her throat.

"But this is important!" Seras whined as his arms dropped.

"But THIS is sexy," Junko noted as she pointed to Ranma and Sakura, who were still standing awkwardly in the front lobby.

"S-Saotome! Tekai!" Asuka gasped out, having finally cleared the coffee from her windpipe. "I need to debrief you two!"

"What? Now?" Seras asked, his expression souring.

"Yes! They were mysteriously teleported halfway across the city and then apparently fought some sort of sea creatures! Of course I need a detailed accounting of the entire time they were gone!" Asuka snapped.

"Ah. 'Debriefing'. Smooth," Junko mumbled.

Sakura groaned. "Can't we at least change first?"

"NO!" Seras suddenly shouted , throwing his hands up and surprising the others. "Everyone, shut the hell up! Nobody's changing, gossiping, or debriefing until I'm done with my presentation!"

"But-" Ranma started to speak, but was silenced when Seras shoved a finger at his nose.

"Quiet! You, stand near the T-virus samples on the table! Tekai, you take a seat! Captain, reign in your turbulent emotions for the extent of this lecture!"

As Ranma and Sakura meekly moved to do as they were told, Asuka's eyes narrowed.

"I could have you shot, you know," the bluette mumbled, "well, shot again, anyway."

"Yes, you could!" Seras said, his smile reappearing as he reached into his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a hypodermic needle. "Luckily for me, I have a STIMPACK!"

At the questioning glances from most of the officers, Seras chuckled and held up his creation.

"Behold! For I have taken taken the freakish, inhuman traits of our officers and our enemies and molded them into sweet, wonderful SCIENCE! This is the single most important discovery in the field of medicine since we found out that people get WEAKER as you drain blood from them!"

"Wow! That does sound pretty important!" Kyle admitted, wiping the last traces of coffee off of his face with a paper towel.

"Wait. I thought you were a doctor of cybernetics," Snake said, looking skeptical, "I mean, diagnosing what was wrong with Saotome is one thing, but now you're actually making medicine?"

"It does seem like an awfully big leap. Do you have ANY formal training in pharmaceuticals?" Sakura asked.

Seras stared blankly at his audience. "Wait. I'm a doctor of WHAT?"

Yamma sighed as he set up a projection screen behind the table. "You're a doctor of whatever the main topic is in whatever magazine I happen to leave in the bathroom for a given week."

"So is THAT why you have so many scientific journals devoted to the probabilistic outcomes of Kim Kardashian's marriage?" Asuka demanded, frowning.

"I have no idea," Seras admitted, "but on that note, did I call it, or what?"

Then he held the stimpack up in the air again. "ANYWAY! Legitimate concerns of my qualifications aside, I have created a new miracle drug using the R-virus and the T-virus!"

Ranma blinked. "The R-virus? What's an R-virus?"

"That's the very poor descriptor given to the unique blood cells created by your body to absorb and combat the T-virus," Yamma explained while he started hooking up a projector.

"Oh. Uh... I see," Ranma mumbled, clearly having only the slightest idea what they were talking about. "By the way, who are you?"

"Don't worry about it," Yamma said with a sigh.

"If you recall, Ranma's R-virus consumes T-virus organisms to make hypercells, which repair the body at a ridiculous rate, allowing even severe wounds to be but temporary annoyances," Seras explained, "well, thanks to my brilliance, I have now brought Saotome's absurdly convenient biology to all of you!"

"How? Don't we have to have that R-virus that isn't really a virus?" Tiro asked.

"Not anymore! I've replicated the R-virus organism in the lab! By adding a select samples of DNA gene builds from stem cells and various other biochemical treatments that I can allude to with senseless technobabble rather than hard science, I've created a medical gel that can be injected into anyone, regardless of their biological compatibility or immune system! Then, when also injected by a dose of T-virus organisms, the subject gains an astounding rate of regeneration! This can heal bullet wounds in seconds, seal a cut without so much as a scar, replace burnt flesh with ease, mend broken bones, and leave your skin silky smooth and feeling great!"

"That's... That's amazing!" Sakura said, honestly impressed, "just think of all the medical procedures that can be simplified using this! People who have had their bodies destroyed by disease can make full recoveries! Patients who have undergone extensive surgery can have their body's strength restored in hours rather than weeks! Cancer treatments that cause too much damage to the healthy tissue will become viable once we can quickly and easily repair entire organs!"

"That DOES seem like a better use of it than fixing up my shoulder a few weeks early," Asuka admitted as she cracked her neck.

"Wait, wait, so this 'stimpack' can cure any disease?" Snake asked skeptically.

"No, I never said that," Seras said, "actual diseases are caused by a malignant organism, like a virus or bacterial infection. A hypercell doesn't destroy other cells, so it can't cure diseases. It WOULD, however, ameliorate some of the symptoms!"

"That's still an enormous leap forward for medical science!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Yup! And now, for a demonstration!" Seras turned toward Ranma, stimpack in his hand. "Saotome, I couldn't help but notice you entered the headquarters injured!"

"Yeah, a bit," Ranma admitted as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

Seras was silent for a few seconds. "I also couldn't help but notice that your wounds have suddenly healed."

"Yeah, how about that?" Ranma mumbled while very deliberately not making eye contact.

Seras looked over to the desk, where several empty beakers and test tubes lay scattered on top.

"Okay then, fine," grumbled the perpetually inebriated doctor, "I already tested it on the captain anyway, so it's fine."

"Is it really okay to move something like this out with only one trial? This medicine DOES contain a dangerous retrovirus, right?" Tiro asked, looking surprisingly serious.

"Well, we don't have to tell anyone that," Seras said, grinning, "in reality, the only limitation on the value of this medicine is the total volume of blood in Saotome's body!"

There was considerable confusion from most of the officers after this, save for Ranma himself who had slipped into a mild psychedelic trance and was enjoying the colorful patterns on the ceiling.

"Why would that be a limitation?" Asuka asked, "Didn't you say you can synthesize the R-virus?"

"I said I could replicate it," Seras corrected, "which is a lot like synthesizing, except that to make more R-virus I need a culture of white blood cells taken directly from our noble friend. After that I can grow more from the culture, buuuuut..." he sighed as he scrubbed his hair with his hand, "every successive generation of R-virus cells is somewhat weaker than the last, probably due to being removed from Saotome's stupid mystical ninja energy field thing. This is useful in that it negates many of the side effects that cause aggressive and possibly cannibalistic behavior in the subject, but does mean that after several generations the R-virus can't develop enough hypercells to make a difference. By now I've determined the threshold at which the stimpacks still work and can suspend the effective R-virus culture in the synesthesia gel, but I've already run out of blood samples and I've only made five stimpacks."

"So what you're saying is that you can only produce these miracle drugs from Saotome's blood," Snake said, planting his cheek on his fist and generally looking disinterested.

"Yes, but don't worry," Seras said happily, "the human body has around five liters of blood! With that much I can eventually make hundreds of stimpacks!"

"Wait... You're gonna take all of it?" Ranma asked, looking like he was in a daze, "Don't I get to keep some? You know, to live?"

"Bah! Don't be selfish! Do you have any idea how many orphans could hypothetically be saved by these stimpacks if I weren't going to sell them all to rich people?" Seras asked, planting his hands on his hips.

"Well..." Ranma frowned as he scratched the back of his head, "if it could hypothetically save orphans..."

Before the farce could go any further, Asuka stood up and smacked Seras in the side of the head, staggering the drunken oaf. "All right, shut up already. And stop waving that needle around before you poke someoneﾒs eye out with it!"

Seras blinked as he rubbed the side of his head. "But if I jabbed someone in the eye, the stimpack would just regenerate the eye afterward," he reasoned, "Oh! Actually, that would make a pretty good demonstration! Can I have a vol-"

_Crack!_ Seras went down as Asuka pistol-whipped him in the forehead.

"All right everyone, despite his rampant stupidity, I've tried a stimpack for myself. As did Tuko himself later. They really do work," the police captain explained.

"He was wounded too? What happened to him?" Tiro asked.

Asuka considered the question for a moment. "If chimps possessed and used pistols, we probably wouldn't use them for lab tests."

"I don't get it," Kyle said immediately. Everybody else winced.

"So, wait, should I start the presentation now?" Yamma asked, looking confused.

"What presentation?" Asuka asked as she leaned down and picked up the stimpack Seras had dropped when he fell unconscious.

"The one I've been setting up this whole time!" Yamma said, gesturing to the projector and screen standing next to the table.

"Why bother? Tuko just explained all about the stimpack, right?" Snake asked. "We get it, already."

"Are you TRYING to undermine my existence?" the medical assistant growled.

"Listen, Mister... uh... Assistant, we don't have time right now. Carry your boss upstairs and then come back and clean all this up," Asuka commanded.

As Yamma grumbled incoherently to himself, Asuka turned back to her officers. "So there you have it. From now on we're going to have stimpacks on hand to deal with battlefield injuries. Due to the frequently hazardous nature of our missions and the increasingly dangerous capabilities of our enemies, it will be invaluable to be able to apply battlefield medicines that can not only save our lives, but return us to fighting shape quickly enough to finish mission objectives."

Sakura cocked her head to one side. "But what about all the extensive uses this could have in conventional medicine if introduced to the general public? The suffering that could be alleviated? The lives that could be saved?"

"Meh," Asuka shrugged.

"Captain!"

"Fine, fine," the bluette muttered in annoyance, "if you want a less ambivalent answer, if these things really need Saotome's blood to work, it's implausible to mass-produce them. Unless he wants to volunteer to be reduced to a medicine cow, being constantly milked for blood." Then Asuka glanced around. "Speaking of which, where did Saotome go? Did anyone see him leave?"

"Ha ha ha! I'm invisible!" Ranma said happily, startling most of the officers, who looked around without spotting the martial artist.

"Oh-kay... Aside from Saotome's well-being, there's also the fact that half of this miracle drug is actually a miracle zombie-making bioweapon. I'm not about to put something like that out on the open market!"

"Couldn't we put some sort of chemical inhibitor in the virus to keep it subdued? Or make it die if the tube breaks, or something?" Junko asked.

"Do you really trust THAT idiot to make an effective failsafe?" Asuka asked, jabbing a thumb toward the stairs.

_Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! _The others winced as they watched the unfamiliar, grumbling fellow drag Seras up the stairs by his legs, causing the insensate man's head to slam into each step as they ascended.

"Well... He DID manage to make the stimpack work in the first place," Junko pointed out.

"Yes. And I don't intend to press our luck," Asuka said firmly, "once I issue the remaining stimpacks to you guys, make sure to only use them in emergencies! They are not to be expended carelessly!"

"Yes, Captain..." her officers all said simultaneously.

"All right, good! Now that we've dealt with our new equipment setup, it's time to-"

Asuka was cut off as a suddenly blur appeared over Tiro's head, causing the man to cry out in surprise and pain.

"STEALTH NOOGIE!" Ranma cried as Tiro collapsed onto the floor, holding his head.

"What the-?" Tycho jumped up in shock, noting that there seemed to be smoke coming from Tiro's head. "That was... I didn't see a thing! It was over before I could blink!" the driver exclaimed in awe and fear, "Saotome, why-"

"STEALTH INDIAN BURN!" Ranma cried out as a barely visible blur appeared around Tycho's left arm.

"UGYAAAAAH!"

Asuka's eyebrow twitched as Tycho collapsed onto the floor next to Tiro.

"Geez, man. Calm down, it's just a little heat rash," Snake said dismissively as he leaned back into the couch.

"Oh, shut up! We'll see how you like it when he does something to you!" Tiro shouted.

"Pft. Saotome can't do anything to me," Snake scoffed as the air above his head shimmered slightly, "I'd blow up his house."

"STEALTH RETREAT!" Ranma shouted as a large blur rapidly veered away from the American.

"Saotome, stop that! What's gotten into you?" Asuka demanded, looking around uselessly for the martial artist.

"STEALTH GROPE!" Ranma shouted in response as a blur appeared over Junko's chest.

The redhead blinked as her breasts jiggled slightly, and then she frowned. "What, was that it? I barely felt a thing! Do it properly!" she complained.

"RANMA! Cut it out!" Sakura yelled, her face heating up.

"STEALTH-"

Before Ranma could go any further, Asuka darted forward, her hand shooting out as if to grasp something.

"Ow!" Ranma shouted, his body suddenly appearing as the police captain grabbed him over his face and started squeezing his temples. "Agh agh agh agh!"

"I SAID knock it off!" Asuka growled, throwing the martial artist to the floor and then stomping a foot on his back. "Geez! Is this what happens to you when you drink T-virus?"

"Better than what happens to the rest of us," Snake mumbled.

"We DID decide that he doesn't eat people when he's like this, right?" Tiro asked, still massaging his head tenderly.

"Eh, I'd prefer pizza, to tell you the truth," Ranma said from where he was still prone.

"Human pizza?" Kyle asked.

"They make those?" asked Ranma, surprised and sounding a little too intrigued for anyone else's taste.

"All right, everybody shut up for a minute!" Asuka snapped. "Look, I know that you all have short attention spans, and from what I hear there's been a lot of personal drama around here too, but for now we have a more important problem on our hands."

"What, are there more roaches?' Kyle asked, causing the other officers save Asuka to tense up nervously.

"Roaches? I'm not talking about household pests here!"

"So that also precludes the nasty worm thing under the couch?" Snake asked.

Asuka looked confused, then alarmed. "Worm thing? What are you talking about?"

Ranma, who was pinned on the floor within arm's reach of the sofa, promptly shoved his arm under the aforementioned furniture and pulled out a large, worm-like creature with a wide mouth full of jagged, uneven teeth.

"This thing?" Ranma asked, holding the creature up by the neck as it thrashed and snapped violently.

The less jaded officers promptly flinched back at the bizarre creature, while Asuka shook her head. "I wasn't talking about that, but while we're at it, please kill it."

_Crack! _Ranma wordlessly twisted the creature's body near the head until a sharp snapping noise ensued, followed by a horrid squeak from the creature.

"I'm talking about the sudden teleportation of one of our vehicles - with our people INSIDE it - across several miles of land into the bay. It seems apparent that you all haven't given this much thought, but the likelihood of this being an accidental event is very small."

"Have we mentioned that we all missed you?" Tiro said, his voice uncharacteristically serious, "because we did. Really."

"Thanks," Asuka mumbled noncommittally as a crunching noise came from below her. "Tekai, can you give me any details on what happened back there?"

Sakura frowned. "Well... we just getting ready to leave the parking lot when the car was surrounded by... some kind of energy. It was like a shimmering bubble of blue streaked with white, kind of, and there was this loud crackling noise."

"How long did it last? Was there any kinetic disturbance?" Asuka prompted.

"It lasted for just a second or two, with the bubble obscuring the outside. Then it vanished, and the next thing I knew we were falling into the ocean."

"How far above sea level were you?" Asuka asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"Uh... I'm not sure, but I think we were right on the surface. As if we had just been driving over the ocean and just suddenly happened to realize gravity," Sakura said, fidgeting as she remembered the terrifying scenario.

"All right. That's enough for now, Tekai. Why don't you go get yourself changed?" Asuka finished. Sakura inclined her head gratefully and scurried away for the women's locker rooms.

"Saotome?" Asuka asked, finally looking down at the man she was stepping on, "first things first: where's that worm you just killed?"

"What worm? I didn't see any worm. You're crazy, talking about worms," Ranma said quickly, wiping his hands on his pants to get the curiously oily gray blood off his fingers.

"All right, fine, I really don't care," the bluette mumbled, "what's your take on the whole incident?"

"Sakura's a really good swimmer," Ranma said, his voice solemn, "you really wouldn't expect it because she's no good at anything else athletic, so I was surprised. So if we ever have any missions that involve long-distance swimming and nothing else, I'd recommend her."

"Noted," the police captain muttered dryly, "also noted is that you don't seem to deal well with the psycho-reactive effects of your hypercells. We're going to have to keep you away from T-virus from now on unless your life would be in danger otherwise."

Then Asuka held up her hand. "This also means that I can't issue you a stimpack, despite you being the one who gets wounded most missions."

Tycho snorted. "Not like it slows him down much anyway..."

Kyle pointed to Asuka's hand. "Hey Captain, why'd you take Ranma's gun?"

"I didn't take-" Asuka started to protest Kyle's comment until she realized that her hand, which was SUPPOSED to be holding the stimpack prototype, seemed instead to be holding something metal and rather heavy.

Quickly looking down, she was extremely alarmed to see Ranma breaking the two syringe tubes of the stimpack apart.

"Hey! Stop!" the police captain shouted as she swiped for the T-virus tube.

Ranma pouted as she grabbed his wrist and started prying the tube from his fingers. "Aw, c'mon! You can keep the other virus if you want!"

"No! Saotome, I swear to God, if you can't behave yourself I will lock you in a vault!"

"Just a little! No more after that, I swear!" Ranma begged as Asuka held the tube out of his reach.

"No! No more! Kyle! Tiro! Take him downstairs and throw him in a vault until he calms down!" Asuka demanded as she finally stepped off the martial artist. "I can't deal with him like this! It's like babysitting my little brothers when they were six!"

"Awwwwww..." Ranma whined as Kyle grabbed his arms from behind, being the only other officer who could manhandle him.

"All right, let's go you nutcase," Tiro grumbled, obviously still resentful over the super-powered noogie, "time for you to sit in the corner for a while."

Ranma's cheeks puffed up petulantly, and Asuka groaned at the sight as the martial artist was literally dragged away to the DAPC's prison level.

"Well, that was weird. Who knew Saotome would turn into a zombie junkie?" Tycho asked.

"That's more than just 'weird'. If this is a true addiction for him, and he actually has experienced cravings for human flesh, then this might change the dynamics of future missions considerably," Asuka grumbled.

"Why? As long as he destroys what we need him to destroy, does it matter whether he's hopped up on ghoul juice?" Snake asked.

"I don't expect you to appreciate this, but there ARE concerns I have for my personnel besides their efficiency at murder," the police captain deadpanned.

Snake mulled that over for a few seconds. "You're right," he finally admitted, "it IS hard for me to appreciate that."

"Shut it. This teleporting thing is a serious threat, and right now I need your personal skills at tactical demolition more than Saotome's skill at stealth and hand-to-hand combat. That's the ONLY reason why I'm going to push this operation ahead of making sure he recovers properly." Asuka said sternly. "Right now, I need leads. First we have to find out who's behind this, and then-"

"It's the Freedom's Angels," Snake deadpanned.

Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Explain."

"It's ALWAYS the Freedom's Angels. Every time anything bad happens or we meet some new, bizarre threat, they're behind it," Snake asserted, rolling his eyes, "why break the pattern now?"

"I was hoping for something a little more solid than 'business as usual'," Asuka grumbled, "but I have to admit your instincts are usually right about this sort of thing. Any idea what to do about it?"

"The answer to that is also 'business as usual'. Search and destroy," the American said blithely.

"Yeah, but WHERE?" Asuka demanded.

"Hey, figuring that out is your job. I'm just here for the violence."

The police captain gripped her hands into fists as she glared at her third-in-command. "You know, it's not like I was gone long, but somehow I'd gotten so used to NOT having to put up with you idiots that I feel way more frustrated than usual."

"Then you probably shouldn't turn around," Snake said as he slipped his hands in his pockets.

Asuka turned around.

"All done!" Kyle said as he and Ranma exited the elevator to the sub-levels. "What now, Captain?"

Asuka stared at Ranma, who was smiling happily to himself, and then glanced over at Kyle. "Where's Tiro?"

"I locked him in the vault, just like Ranma said," Kyle explained, looking proud of himself.

All was silent for a full three seconds.

"OH. Right. Oops," Kyle rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment as he took hold of Ranma's collar and dragged the grinning pigtailed man back to the elevator.

As the doors closed shut, Asuka turned back to Snake. "Why hasn't our government put us all in prison yet?"

"Probably because they expected us all to get ourselves killed by now. It's no small miracle that we're all still alive," Snake theorized.

Asuka sighed. "I need to look at our resources for dealing with supernatural energy effects... Geez, I don't even know where to start!"

"Well, following the earlier explanation of Tuko's skills, if you put some sort of theoretical science magazine in the bathroom for him, maybe he'll think of something."

"That's stupid, and would also take too much time," Asuka grumbled, "but that gives me a better idea..."

"Ooh! Do you have a mission for me?" Ranma asked brightly, jogging to his superiors as he left the elevator.

Asuka stared at Ranma, noting that he was alone. "You locked Kyle in the vault, didn't you?"

"Yuh-huh!" Ranma said happily. "Man, he is gonna be TICKED when he finishes that candy bar!"

"Really, this is your fault," Snake said, shaking his head, "thinking that one of your only competent officers could be handled by that pair of morons."

"Shut it! I'm not used to dealing with him like this!" Asuka complained, "if you think you can do better, let's see you control him!"

"Well, I think you could manage it on your own, but fine," grumbled the American, rubbing the back of his head as he turned to Ranma. "Saotome, we're going on a mission. Go get in the patrol car."

"What kind of mission?" Ranma asked, seemingly oblivious to the earlier conversation about him being controlled.

"The kind that involves the consumption of delicious human flesh," Snake lied, "now go get in the car."

"Why does everyone keep implying that I'm a cannibal?" Ranma whined as he walked toward the garage entrance, "it's not fair that everyone's so afraid of me eating them that I can't even have more T-virus!"

Snake watched Ranma enter the garage, and then waited until the door closed behind the martial artist. "He says that, and yet he goes anyway."

"Are you sure you want to be alone with him? It might not be safe," Asuka noted uncomfortably.

Snake raised an eyebrow. "Safe? What's 'safe'?"

Asuka sweatdropped.

"You mean like in baseball? We're not going to be playing baseball. Unless the mission you give us is REALLY boring."

"You know what? You'll be fine," Asuka snapped suddenly as she pulled out her cell phone and a slip of paper, "when that Dr. Deth guy called me, I saved his number. Call him up and use the satellite tracker to find his location, and then grill him on teleportation technology. He might know of some way to identify the source, or at least tell us something else useful about it."

"Hmmm..." Snake frowned as he considered his orders, "I dunno... That sounds slightly less exciting than baseball..."

"Get your ass in gear, or you won't be the one hitting things with a bat," Asuka growled as she handed over the slip of paper with Deth's number, causing the American to flinch.

"All right, all right! Yeesh! Right back to threatening us, are you?"

"Yeah, it's like we're a family again," the police captain spat, "now move it!"

* * *

"So that's our mission. Any questions?" Snake asked as he backed his patrol car out of the parking lot.

"Yeah, actually," Ranma said as he buckled his seat belt, "are we seriously trying to track down a supervillain using his cell phone number?"

Snake blinked, halting the car. "That's your question? I was expecting something about the cannibalism I promised."

"Pft. You think I'd trust you? I knew you were just spouting nonsense," the martial artist said.

"That hurts, Saotome," Snake said with false sorrow in his voice as he started moving again, "when have I ever done you wrong?"

"You mean, like, recently?"

"Very recently," Snake clarified.

"Ignoring my call for backup when I was being assaulted at that convention," Ranma said.

"That was entirely justified," the American insisted, "but I don't want to have to explain it, so enough about that. Are you a little less loopy now?"

"Yeah, I think having an immediate goal kind of gives me focus," Ranma mumbled, "so to bring this

conversation full circle, are we seriously trying to track down a supervillain using his cell phone number?" "Sure, why not?"

"Well, wouldn't anyone who was assaulted by a police unit they contacted with a cell phone change their number?" Ranma reasoned.

"Sure, if they were an ordinary, sane person. There's a reason we call guys like Deth 'mad scientists', and it's not because they have short tempers. They usually aren't keen on the little details," Snake explained while holding up the note that Asuka had written, "call him up."

Ranma shrugged and took the paper before putting the number into a bulky-looking transceiver sitting atop the dashboard and connected to a miniature receiver dish mounted on the roof of the cruiser.

The machine switched instantly to speaker phone, and Snake and Ranma waited as the sound of a ringing phone filled the car interior.

_Click! Hello, this is Sigmund speaking._

"Hey, Doctor!" Snake said happily, pulling over to the side of the road before hitting a switch on the satellite tracker to begin the tracer scan. "It's Snake! How ya doin', you nutty inventor?"

_Snake? Snake... Wait, are you from that team of mutants from the other day?_

"No, no, I'm from the DAPC. We only have two mutants."

Ranma frowned. "Hey! I'm not a mutant!"

"Say that when you aren't high on horrific bioweapons," Snake mumbled.

_Ah, yes, I remember now. The two police officers that infiltrated my lab the other week. I'd recognize this banter anywhere. What can I do for you?_

"Well, we have a problem that you might be able to help us solve, as it involves incredibly unlikely experimental technologies related to spacial distortion and manipulation," Snake explained, "so we were hoping you could divulge your current location and then give us some clues on how to find the source of the problem."

_Normally I'd be happy to show off my expertise by helping someone who would nominally be my enemy, but as it so happens I'm having a fine Italian lunch right now with my assistants and would rather not be bothered._

"Well, that's not really our concern. We're having our vehicles teleported into the ocean, here, and we can't do anything about it if we can't find out where this new toy is at," Snake said, "so wherever you are, we're coming to find you."

"Can you order me something to eat in advance?" Ranma suddenly asked, licking his lips. "I am REALLY hungry right now, and that worm thing leaves a nasty aftertaste."

_Oh, you just sit tight. I'll send you something right away... Make sure to chew on it thoroughly! Click!_

Ranma blinked as the line went dead. "Huh. You think he ordered us a delivery? I hope it comes with garlic bread!"

Snake frowned. "Well... Given that ALL of Deth's actions are more less guided by the regular habits and common failings of stereotypical villains, I would guess that his next move would be..."

The frown turned into a grimace. "Saotome, make sure you grab the satellite tracker before you bail out."

"Hah?" Ranma mumbled as the American suddenly swung the door open and bolted out of the car, running out across the street as fast as he could.

"Bail out? But if we're not in the car, how will the delivery guy find us?" the martial artist yelled to Snake's back.

_BWEEEEE... _A thin line of blue light appeared over the hood of the car, and as a loud whining noise pierced the air, Ranma could see other beams appearing all around the police car before they started moving across the ground, converging on the vehicle.

"Oh. I see," Ranma mumbled.

* * *

_Thwoom!_

Dr. Deth grinned as he watched the beam of light flare in the distance, followed by a burst of dust and fire from the impact.

"Beautiful, isn't it? A more artistic form of mass destruction I've never seen," said the mad scientist wistfully before raising a cup of tea to his lips.

Synthia nodded brightly as her sister Maria nibbled on some garlic bread. "I like how the satellite beam cuts that hole in the clouds to create a halo effect! It's so pretty!"

"And so marks the end of two esteemed men, their careers and lives cut short for the mere convenience of me getting to finish my meal without interruption," Deth continued, "it's almost poetic, isn't it? Ha ha ha!"

"What were they talking about, anyway? Some kind of teleporter?" Maria asked, dabbing her mouth with a cloth napkin.

"Probably some device being worked up by one of my rivals," Deth said, taking up his fork and spearing a ravioli, "the 26th annual Mad Scientist's convention is next week, you know."

"Wow, it's here already?" Synthia asked, "are we going to build something new for the convention?"

"No, I thought I'd actually do something rather low-key this year," Deth said as a small metal canister flew over his shoulder and landed in his pasta, splattering his lab coat with red sauce.

Before his assistants could do more than blink, Deth whipped out a small device that looked like a remote control, but with a targeting scope on one end.

_BZAP!_ In a flash of light the cylinder vanished, leaving only the stench of ozone and an empty spot on the plate to indicate it ever existed.

"A disintegration ray! Retro, I know, but I feel it's a more marketable invention than the gravitational render I presented last year, since it can fit in your pocket," the madman explained.

The voluptuous twins frowned, still staring at his plate. "Wait, what was that you just zapped?" Maria asked.

"Don't know," Deth said honestly, using a napkin to wipe his coat down. "Looked like an explosive device, but who would be daft enough to toss around explosives in a dining area?"

When the scientist looked up again, he could see that the two interns were staring wide-eyed at something behind him, and so he turned around to look.

"Ah. I see," Deth mumbled as he stared into the barrel of a .45 magnum.

"Hello Doctor," Snake said evenly, his eyes narrowed, "me and my colleague have an appointment, I believe?"

"And I have a disintegrator," Deth said with a shrug, "I assure you, my good man, I can kill you just as fast as you can kill-"

"Yoink!" Ranma said as he turned visible, snatching the ray emitter out of the mad scientist's hand.

"... So, I believe you wanted to talk about some kind of teleporter?" Deth said calmly, turning around fully to face Snake, "but first, I must know; however did you two escape the satellite blast?"

"By leaping dramatically at the last minute," Snake said honestly, "and even then, Saotome still lost his arm."

"Yeah! That really hurt!" the pigtailed boy complained.

The three villains stared. Ranma's arms were completely intact, although his left sleeve and shoulder guard had been completely burnt away, and that side of his armor looked like it had been partially melted.

"... I got better," Ranma mumbled.

"Why are covered in blue paint?" Maria asked.

"I didn't get to shower after the first time I was almost killed today. Long story."

"Anyway, I advise you start being more cooperative before we decide to test OUR satellite weapon on YOU," Snake growled.

"Don't tempt him on this," Ranma warned, "he's REALLY been looking forward to it."

"Yes, yes, very well. You win," grumbled Deth. "May we finish our meal first?"

"Did you order anything for me like I asked?" Ranma demanded.

"No, sorry. For the purposes of villainous integrity I had to pretend that I really thought I had killed you," Deth apologized.

In response, Ranma picked up the scientist's plate in one hand and a fork in the other. Four seconds later, he put the empty plate down.

It took him eight more seconds to finish the blondes' meals, and as spoke as he wiped his mouth clean. "There. Meal finished. Time to spill."

"You two make a good team," Deth offered, "it's like both of your unique forms of belligerence combine to convince the target that anything would be less dangerous and annoying than resisting you."

"It's our competitive advantage," Snake allowed. "So. Teleporting machine. How?"

Deth shrugged. "Give me some details."

"There was a loud screeching noise, and a bubble of blue energy surrounded us," Ranma explained, "then the next thing I knew, our car was on the surface of the ocean, and we sunk."

Deth thought about the description. "If you were enveloped by an energy field perceptible while you were under its effects, that rules out particle deconstruction. The lack of a 'popping' sounds means that air was not displaced instantaneously... Temporal subduction?"

"Explain," Snake snapped, "preferably in Star Trek-style technobabble that can be summed up at the end in simpler layman's terms."

"In theory, a teleportation device using this method would create a space-time current between two points, while only opening quantum subduction zones in fixed areas at those points. As a result, the object at the entrance would move through time and space to the second point by negating the temporal drag that your constituent particles normally generate, probably via a series of low-energy meson pulses."

Synthia clapped her hands together. "It would be as if you stopped time and then dragged the target from one point to the other!"

Snake nodded as he finally put his gun down. "I see. Very well then, what kind of machine could do this sort of thing?"

"Well, Einstein was working on before he went all peacenik on us," Deth mused, "but I don't think he ever finished a working prototype."

"Well, SOMEBODY did. How can we find it?" Ranma asked.

"Well, there's no way this thing is hooked into the civilian power grid," Dr. Deth said with a snort, "to generate a temporal subduction field without actually being carried along the particulate wormhole would require an amount of power that could easily cripple an energy system that wasn't specifically prepared for it, and at the very least it would make it painfully obvious where the thing was. If they miniaturized it and sent it along with the target it'd be a different story, but since you were teleported without ever seeing the device itself..."

"So, what? We should look for evidence of a big power plant being used on its own?" Ranma asked.

"I'm not doing that," Snake growled, "that could take forever and lead to false leads, which means dealing with people I'm not allowed to shoot. At least not initially." Then he frowned at Dr. Deth. "Can't you build a device to track those messy pulses or whatever back to their source?"

Deth gave him an annoyed stare. "You want me to build a device to detect and triangulate the source of a theoretical energy wavelength independent of the space time geometry it's manipulating?"

"Is that hard?" Ranma asked.

"It'd be like asking a 19th century scientist to find the exact location of a communications satellite based on a single call between two cell phones," Maria noted. "Several hours after the phone call has taken place, yet."

Snake grimaced. "Well, give it your best shot."

Dr. Deth rolled his eyes. "Sure. Can I have my disintegration ray back?"

"Oh, sorry. Here you go," Ranma said, handing the device back.

As soon as Deth took back the device, he pulled off the casing on the back, and then removed a hand held sautering iron from his pocket before inserting it into the circuits.

"So what do we do in the meantime?" Ranma asked as he turned to his superior officer.

"Not sure. I guess we could forward the technobabble to the captain, but since it doesn't really help us so far, it kind of feels like reporting failure."

"Well, she COULD always start doing the investigation thing, since we might not have any more leads than the power plant thing," Ranma suggested.

Snake raised an eyebrow. "By the way, are you all better? You know, over that T-virus thing?"

"Completely," Ranma swore, "getting partially hit by a laser beam from space sobers you up like you wouldn't believe."

"It wasn't a laser beam, it was a high-energy plasma generated by separating atmospheric gases into a line and then supersaturating the molecular vacuum with photons," Deth mumbled as he replaced the casing and then started fiddling with the buttons on the ray emitter.

"Yeah, that was no picnic either," the martial artist mumbled. "But anyway, I'm done with T-virus! No more bioweapons for me! I'm totally clean!"

"Good. Then give me back the stimpack the captain left with me," Snake deadpanned as he held his hand out.

Ranma winced as he slowly drew the double-tube syringe out from behind his back. "When did you notice I took it?"

"I didn't know it was missing. I just expect the worst of people," the American explained as he took the needle back.

"Somehow that's really annoying coming from you," Ranma grumbled.

"All right, here," Deth said suddenly, holding up the disintegrator ray to Ranma.

Ranma blinked. "You're giving us your ray gun?"

"It's not a ray gun, it's a meson resonator," Deth explained, "just hold the central button, and the light at the head will light up if the device is pointed toward the source of any meson pulses within the last twelve hours. The buttons increase or decrease the sensitivity; turn sensitivity up to get a reading at long distance, and turn it down when you get closer so that the resonator tracks only the largest concentration nearby."

Ranma and Snake were stunned into silence.

"That was FAST," Ranma mumbled.

"Hardly. For an invention the size of a remote control, that was quite troublesome," the madman said with a shrug.

"I'm just surprised that so many parts in a disintegration ray and a silly energy tracer are interchangeable," Snake mumbled.

"Oh, it's always like that," Maria admitted, "give or take a magnet or explosive core, most of these sorts of things use a lot of the same materials."

"That's how mad scientists can build things on tight budgets!" Synthia explained, "recycling is important!"

"But will it really work?" Snake asked sceptically as he took the device out of Ranma's hands.

"Don't insult me," Dr. Deth snapped, leaning his chair back so that it rested against the table, "if I wasn't one-hundred-percent sure of its functionality, I wouldn't have given it to you. All my inventions come with that guarantee!"

"Well... thanks, I guess," Ranma said, somewhat at a loss.

"If you want to thank me, you can pay for my meal that you ate," Deth said with a raised eyebrow, "or maybe apologize for tossing a fragmentation device into my food without warning."

Ranma glanced at Snake.

Snake crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not apologizing."

Ranma sighed and opened up his wallet.

* * *

"... so we have the detector now, and we're heading toward the facility," Snake said into his mobile phone as he and Ranma walked down the street.

Ranma had finally ditched his damaged body armor for a cheap T-shirt, although his face and arms still looked like they had been splashed with paint. Snake still had his pistol in hand, meanwhile, mostly because the loss of all his larger guns with the car had made him somewhat nervous about being too lightly armed.

_So the car's a total loss, then?_ asked Asuka on the line.

"Yup. Nothing but a molten crater. Got Saotome's arm, too," Snake admitted ruefully.

_WHAT? Saotome was wounded? His ARM is gone?_ the captain asked in a panic.

"It was until it grew back."

There was a long silence before Asuka sighed. _Just... Give me a moment. I need a minute to forget about some things you just said to try and hold together my rapidly dissolving understanding of reality._

"Take your time," Snake mumbled as Ranma pointed around the corner.

"This way next," the martial artist said, holding the detector out in front of him as he turned left.

_Okay, I think I've managed to hold my sanity together, for now,_ Asuka said, _I want you to keep searching until you either find something suspicious or are able to narrow down your search to a few non-suspicious blocks. Then contact me again and try not draw attention to yourselves. That means NO shooting or blowing anything up!_

Snake snorted. "Oh, come on, even I wouldn't start anything when I only have my sidearm, unless I really felt like it."

There was a moment of silence over the line until Snake added, "I meant to say that last part in my head. So you couldn't hear it."

_Yeah, I figured,_ snapped Asuka's distinctly irritated voice, _just shut up and follow my orders. I'll have everyone left here mobilized and ready to back you up as soon as you've located a target._

"Sure thing, Captain. Later!" Snake quickly closed his cell phone before rushing to catch up with Ranma.

"All right, so what does the wacky techno-dowsing rod have to say about our target?" Snake asked as Ranma turned around.

"Well, we must be close. I've had to turn down the sensitivity twice and now I'm only getting a reading that way," the martial artist pointed at an angle toward the wall of the building across the street, "though only when I tilt it down a bit."

"So it's underground, eh?" Snake mumbled as he continued along the street, "I guess it makes sense to keep your superweapons minimally exposed. But that's gonna make it harder to track down."

"Eh, I think you're giving the Angels too much credit," Ranma mumbled, "they're not bright enough to keep their facilities totally under wraps."

"How do you figure that?" Snake asked, holstering his pistol as Ranma walked up to some trash cans.

The martial artist suddenly kicked one of the cans over, sending it bouncing along the sidewalk as the lid slipped off.

_Clank! Thud!_ Something metal rolled out of the can after the lid, bouncing over the concrete even as it squirmed and gyrated to keep itself upright.

Snake blinked. It was a robot, barely bigger than his hand, with four spider-like legs and a small camera mounted on its base.

"Watch this," Ranma said, a smirk on his face.

Snake raised an eyebrow as the small robot righted itself, and then scurried off across the pavement and into an alley.

"Well, that's kind of neat," the American murmured as he and Ranma jogged after the tiny mechanoid, "how did you know about it?"

"It's how I found the Angel lab the other day, after the mutant roach thing. They've got these little tin spiders scuttling all over the alleys and roofs, and when you knock one of 'em over, they dash right back to the building they came from," Ranma explained.

"Huh. Poor security programming," Snake mumbled, "but that aside, if they have robots this size that can infiltrate secure areas remotely, why don't they just attach bombs to them and send them into important buildings or cars and stuff? They could cause incredible damage with total impunity, and we probably wouldn't be able to even figure out where they were coming from unless we got lucky."

Ranma was completely silent as he watched the recon bot climb up a chain link fence that separated two halves of an alleyway. "I'm glad you're not a terrorist, Snake," the martial artist mumbled as he hopped up onto the top of the fence and reached his arm down.

"Hmph. Tell that to the New York Times. Stupid liberal hacks. I wasn't even aiming for that editor..." the American grumbled as he took hold of Ranma's arm and let the pigtailed man haul him up and over the fence.

"Seriously though, it's nice that the extremely conspicuous robots will lead us straight to the enemy base. We don't even have to use our slightly less convenient energy tracking device," Snake noted.

"Yeah," Ranma agreed, smiling, "good thing our enemies are idiots!"

* * *

Yoshi Konta hummed to himself as he typed away at a computer console, the dull glow from the overhead monitor reflecting in glasses.

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_ A security alert attracted the professor's attention for a moment, and he hit a button at the top of his keyboard to address it.

Immediately a video feed from one of Igov's recon bots appeared in the corner of the monitor, and Yoshi raised an eyebrow as he watched two familiar DAPC officers - one of them out of uniform and stained blue, for some reason - following the camera as it bounced and scrambled over the sidewalk.

"Huh. That's near the chronosphere facility, isn't it? That was fast," Yoshi mused, rubbing his chin.

With a few brief password inputs, he opened up the feed to the robot's program center, and with a few more keystrokes he altered the automaton's destination pathing, ordering it to change its direction slightly, and it destination completely.

"Good thing those officers are idiots," the professor said with a smile, "testing time!"

* * *

"Yeah, so we found this little robot, and it's leading us to the facility," Snake said into his phone as he followed Ranma down the street, "so I don't have an ETA for you, but it's probably not far. Little bugger doesn't look like it could travel very far on its own."

_Wait, you're following a robot? It could be leading you into a trap!_

Snake snorted. "The Angels' record for traps isn't very impressive. We'll be fine."

Asuka groaned. _Snake, you said this was a recon drone, right? Then in all likelihood they know who the robot ran into, and probably that you've been following it all this time! Even an idiot can set up an ambush!_

"Well, if they did, then we're probably in the middle of it already," Snake mumbled as he stopped behind Ranma.

_What? Why? Where are you?_

"Abandoned construction lot. I-beams and heavy machinery everywhere," the American explained as he looked around at where they had stopped, "I can spot dozens of excellent firing points, and we're standing in open ground within twenty-three potential overlapping firing lanes." He paused. "So, frankly, if they haven't attacked yet, I'm not sure what the hell they're waiting for."

_Snake, you're usually not usually this careless inside a potential combat zone. What's wrong with you?_

"Well, if I had to guess, I'd say that being supplied with a medical aid that near-instantly heals all wounds and regenerates vital organs has fostered a false sense of invincibility in me, leading me to take stupid risks with my own life."

_Rather than with just everyone else's life?_

"Right. Anyway, my point is that this is your fault."

_Shut up and find a vantage point with a good field of vision. I've logged your current location, so we'll deploy there. Don't leave the area or engage any enemies you find unless you're attacked. Takami out._

Snake sighed as he shut his cell phone. "Great, so we're stuck babysitting the tin spider until everyone else gets here. What's the holdup, anyway?"

Ranma turned from where he was standing in place, pointing to the ground. "Dunno. It just stopped and won't move anymore."

Snake walked around to the front of the robot and nudged it with his foot. It promptly jerked back a few inches, but then halted again. "Well, it's not out of juice. Wonder why it stopped."

"Maybe we're at the facility?" Ranma guessed.

"So, what, the facility is under construction? Or underground? Why does the droid just sit out in the open, then?" the American demanded, gesturing to the tiny automaton.

"Yeesh, I dunno," Ranma admitted, rubbing the back of his head, "you want me to get out the remote and check for the mesa rays or whatever?"

"Nah, forget it. The captain can figure it out when she gets here. I'm gonna go find the vantage point that she wanted."

Ranma shrugged as Snake started walking toward the structure that dominated the lot, a partially completed tower sub-structure that towered over the other buildings as a massive iron skeleton covered in wooden boards and plastic sheeting.

"Hey, should I go with you? In case this is an ambush and you run into trouble?"

Snake waved him off. "Nah. Stay here with the robot in case someone show up for it or it decides to scuttle off."

"Splitting up doesn't seem very smart," Ranma pointed out.

"False sense of invincibility!" the American shouted before he reached a ladder and started climbing up the building skeleton.

"Well, at least all his bombs were in the car. I might just be able to last this entire mission without getting blown up," Ranma muttered to himself.

A slight whirring noise attracted his attention, and Ranma raised an eyebrow as the recon droid started moving again, skittering off toward a series of massive concrete pipes.

"Now where do you think you're going?" the pigtailed man asked, following behind the robot at a decidedly sedate pace.

The robot quickly reached the edge of one of the pipes and crawled in, escaping Ranma's field of vision.

_Crack!_ Ranma blinked as he heard a sharp snapping noise, followed by some softer scraping noises, and he moved to the mouth of the pipe to peer inside.

The pipe was about four feet in diameter, easy enough for him to move in if he crouched, and was almost totally dark inside as neither of its openings were facing the sun.

There was, however, just enough light for Ranma to make out the destroyed recon droid at the pipe's mouth.

"Huh. That's... weird," the martial artist murmured as he observed the tiny wreck. It looked like it had been cleaved in half, but whatever had done the cleaving was large and heavy enough to crush most of the robot as well. Not that it was exceptionally hard for a robot of this size, but Ranma doubted that anything less than a full-size sword could have done the job in a single strike.

There was also, of course, the fact that whatever had destroyed the drone couldn't have possibly escaped out the other end in the time it took Ranma to find the remains.

"Hello? Anything that speaks Japanese in there?" Ranma asked, peering uselessly into the darkness. "I swear to God, if this is another Ninja, I'm going to sue the local clan for harassment. We belong to the same union, you know!"

"Sssssssssrah!" A strange, alien hiss emanated from within the pipe, and Ranma's eyes narrowed. "So two monster infestations in one day, eh? Fine, I'm game for-"

His taunt was cut off as he sensed danger from behind, and he darted into the pipe just as a scythe-like limb stabbed straight toward his back.

Whipping around, the pigtailed man saw what looked like a two large, curved claws hanging over the top of the mouth of the pipe, and hanging between them was a maw full of razor-edged teeth that dripped spittle onto the tiny mashed-up robot beneath it.

"Well, looky here. Another mutant freak," Ranma said, his lips quirking into a grin, "pretty impressive of you to sneak up on me, but you just missed your only shot at actually killing me."

With a bit of concentration, Ranma's aura burst to life around him, filling the pipe interior with a soft blue light.

"All right, freak, come get... Eh?"

Glancing something out of the corner of his eye, Ranma tilted his head slightly, and was extremely perturbed to see a second mouth behind him, suddenly illuminated by the light of his aura. This one was hunched low to fit into the pipe, and the silently panting mouth was thus sticking out at the end of a long, armored, worm-like neck that seemed to disappear in a complex wedge of blade-edged limbs and grasping talons.

"Oh. You're... bigger than I thought. This is gonna suck," Ranma mumbled right before the predator mutants darted through the pipes after him.

* * *

End Chapter 29

Patrol cars destroyed: 2  
Monster species discovered and named: 1  
Monster species exterminated for the sake of local commerce: 1  
Sea cyclops once again sleeping with the fishes: 3  
Recon droids sent to the Maker in the sky: 1  
Officers unjustly locked up, and then forgotten about by all parties: 2


End file.
